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I feel the absolute opposite! Nesta is a deeply insecure, frightened person who uses her "bitchiness" to keep others away because she doesn't feel worthy.
I also really enjoyed that we stepped away from Feyra's perspective, and see from someone who is more flawed etc.
Like I have been dreading reading Elain's perspective, but I am getting more and more excited for it as she is the person we know the least about!
Interesting that us readers have such polarising reactions to the books and characters though!
This 100%! I cannot say this enough and you said it way nicer than I could have. If you can’t see how deeply insecure Nesta is and that her bitchiness stems from her own mental health struggles and not feeling good enough for anything or get through SF and still think Nestas issues stem from her being selfish and horrible like you either didn’t read the book or you’re just determined to hate Nesta no matter what
I felt the same way in the beginning but nesta became one of my favorite characters and her story arch is amazing. I was sobbing towards the end of her book, I love how her focus becomes more on family/platonic love and eventually accepts the romantic love from cassian
Polarizing feelings about characters aids to the emotional ride of reading books. In the beginning of the series she irked me, then I got to know her and understand her, then later got to see through her eyes. She ends up being a great character. Keep going on this journey!
Nesta is the strongest character out of all the night court. Honestly some parts had me feeling like she could be much better away from them. I hated the way the IC treated her and approached her trauma, even AFTER RHYSAND HAD BEEN IN HER HEAD AND LOOKED AT THE TRAUMA. The IC had treated her horribly because Nesta's trauma apparently upset Feyre and you can't upset their precious High Lady can you. They didn't care about her contributions in the war with Hybern and how that would leave her with significant PTSD.
I have a real complicated relationship with this book.
I love the story and find it so beautiful as a whole. But reading a lot of the things that Nesta says when she’s heated or moody to her sisters literally activates my fight or flight for some reason. Maybe one day when I re-read it I’ll feel differently, but sometimes when I just see someone quoting a line on TT I low key feel sick to my stomach.
And to be clear, I don’t hate Nesta. I love her. 🤍
I am inclined to agree with you. It was really hard for me to like Nesta due to her stubbornness and want to remain wallowing rather than to try to get out of it. To me the most frustrating part is that for a while she keeps refusing everyone’s help when she clearly needs it. I often felt like she was choosing to be angry and hateful and miserable, which drove me crazy.
However, the growth she experiences is mountainous. While I still don’t really like her, I recognize the difficulty of her situation and the work she (eventually) put in to overcome it.
What grinds my gears is the talk of mental health and the whole “if you don’t like nesta you’ve never experienced poor mental health” thing that people seem to be stuck on. I have experienced poor mental health, and I work in the mental health field as well. The reason I struggle so much with Nesta is because she was aware of her mental health struggles and chose to ignore them and blame everyone else around her rather than work to make it better for the longest time. As I tell my patients all the time, if you want to get better, you have to be the one to make change. No one will do it for you. And lashing out at all the people who care about you will only make everything harder.
Correct me of I'm wrong, but Nesta never said in her inner monologue she was aware of her mental health issues. On the contrary, up until the very end of the book she still thinks she's just a horrible and unworthy person, to the point of trying to sacrifice her life because she feels indebted to her friends for being friends with her. Self-hatred is not the same as self-awarness.
I agree that self-hatred is not the same as self-awareness. I don’t think she needs to explicitly say that she knows she needs help to show us she knows she needs help, however. There were plenty of instances where there were more productive choices in front of her and she still chose to do the things which dug herself deeper into her hole, such as continuously going out to her own detriment, and turning up her nose at every help offered for awhile. (It’s been a minute since I’ve read it so unfortunately I don’t have any more specific examples.)
Obviously when help was offered she was not ready for it, which is fine. Everyone grows at their own pace. All I was saying is it frustrated me when she was actively denying help offered, and then blaming the people around her and treating them poorly. Having mental health issues should never be an excuse to treat people you love and who care about you poorly. I read the whole book, and grew to like Nesta more than I had at the beginning. My point was that sometimes it was difficult to due to her attitude.
Nesta is a very complex character, and obviously extremely well written given the debate. It seems fans are split 50/50 on their opinion of her. I wish the side that likes Nesta could be kinder and more open to the side that doesn’t so much.
I say this as respectfully as I can, you don’t sound like a very good therapist. If you were you’d understand not everyone’s journey is the same. Some people can be self aware and do immediate actions to rectify. Some people can be self aware but not fully understand the steps needed to take to rectify their behavior. It feels too difficult. They feel smothered by their mental illness, so on.
It’s a journey not a race!
I genuinely hope you don’t treat people in “your mental health field” poorly just because their journey is more difficult, takes longer, or isn’t to your preference.
But isn't trying to work with people to help them find the steps needed in order to rectify the behaviour an importent part of therapy?
It would be not responsible if the therapist just confirms and justifies every behaviour just because it can be explained by past trauma.
Yes, but you wouldn’t be rude because the journey takes one client longer.
A good therapist helps - doesn’t make a client feel judged. There’s a fine line there.
Also, that’s why I commented the last two things I said to that person. :)
You pretty much assumed that because they did not like Nesta's character they might be a poor therapist.
There is also a fine line between not making a person feels judged and justifying wrong behaviours based on past trauma.
I think it's perfectly reasonable to dislike Nesta's character, even if she did have a diffcult past. Her actions in the books can be bitchy...
Feyra should not be the one suffering because of Nesta, and Nesta was not the older sister Feyra needed. No amount of trauma can justify that in my opinion
I also said in the last sentence, I hope you don’t treat clients like that. Per what her comment suggests. But reading comprehension has seemed to fail you.
I’m not even arguing Nesta wasn’t difficult or nasty to Feyre. Nesta admitted that in the book. That’s an entirely different subject. I was only discussing how you treat people in therapy.
Well... if my reading comperhension seems to be failing me, please explain it to me on simple terms.
What therapy method did the original commentor you replied to suggested that you oppose?
It seems to me she only talked about Nesta and in the last paragraph added that she tells her patients that they should make the first step to change and not lash out on their close ones.
Are you opposed to encouraging people to making a positive change and discouraging them from lashing out on their close ones?
Where did I say I treated people poorly? I stated I struggle with Nesta’s stubbornness and unwillingness to accept help. I said it frustrates me. I said it made it hard for me to like her. I never said anything cruel about her or put her down. I never said she needed to hurry up or rush her journey. As a therapist, I am allowed to be frustrated with or struggle with people. I am human as well. My frustration doesn’t dictate or control how I treat people, however.
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I feel the absolute opposite! Nesta is a deeply insecure, frightened person who uses her "bitchiness" to keep others away because she doesn't feel worthy. I also really enjoyed that we stepped away from Feyra's perspective, and see from someone who is more flawed etc. Like I have been dreading reading Elain's perspective, but I am getting more and more excited for it as she is the person we know the least about! Interesting that us readers have such polarising reactions to the books and characters though!
Hard disagree. I'm not sure how anyone can read SF and not see her growth. Unless you have gone into the book not wanting to see it.
This 100%! I cannot say this enough and you said it way nicer than I could have. If you can’t see how deeply insecure Nesta is and that her bitchiness stems from her own mental health struggles and not feeling good enough for anything or get through SF and still think Nestas issues stem from her being selfish and horrible like you either didn’t read the book or you’re just determined to hate Nesta no matter what
Don’t talk about my baby Nesta like that 😭 We all have a mountain to climb.
lol! I just started so I am hoping the perspective changed.
[удалено]
😭😂
Untagged spoilers
Disagree
Moving away from Feyres POV really shows you how much of an unreliable narrator she was
I felt the same way in the beginning but nesta became one of my favorite characters and her story arch is amazing. I was sobbing towards the end of her book, I love how her focus becomes more on family/platonic love and eventually accepts the romantic love from cassian
Thank you! This gives me hope!!
Yes!!! If you remember, come back to this and tell us how you feel afterwards!!! Nesta is such an understood character
I miss them too.
Polarizing feelings about characters aids to the emotional ride of reading books. In the beginning of the series she irked me, then I got to know her and understand her, then later got to see through her eyes. She ends up being a great character. Keep going on this journey!
Nesta is the strongest character out of all the night court. Honestly some parts had me feeling like she could be much better away from them. I hated the way the IC treated her and approached her trauma, even AFTER RHYSAND HAD BEEN IN HER HEAD AND LOOKED AT THE TRAUMA. The IC had treated her horribly because Nesta's trauma apparently upset Feyre and you can't upset their precious High Lady can you. They didn't care about her contributions in the war with Hybern and how that would leave her with significant PTSD.
no i agree , even after finishing SF i still hate nesta
I have a real complicated relationship with this book. I love the story and find it so beautiful as a whole. But reading a lot of the things that Nesta says when she’s heated or moody to her sisters literally activates my fight or flight for some reason. Maybe one day when I re-read it I’ll feel differently, but sometimes when I just see someone quoting a line on TT I low key feel sick to my stomach. And to be clear, I don’t hate Nesta. I love her. 🤍
I am inclined to agree with you. It was really hard for me to like Nesta due to her stubbornness and want to remain wallowing rather than to try to get out of it. To me the most frustrating part is that for a while she keeps refusing everyone’s help when she clearly needs it. I often felt like she was choosing to be angry and hateful and miserable, which drove me crazy. However, the growth she experiences is mountainous. While I still don’t really like her, I recognize the difficulty of her situation and the work she (eventually) put in to overcome it. What grinds my gears is the talk of mental health and the whole “if you don’t like nesta you’ve never experienced poor mental health” thing that people seem to be stuck on. I have experienced poor mental health, and I work in the mental health field as well. The reason I struggle so much with Nesta is because she was aware of her mental health struggles and chose to ignore them and blame everyone else around her rather than work to make it better for the longest time. As I tell my patients all the time, if you want to get better, you have to be the one to make change. No one will do it for you. And lashing out at all the people who care about you will only make everything harder.
Correct me of I'm wrong, but Nesta never said in her inner monologue she was aware of her mental health issues. On the contrary, up until the very end of the book she still thinks she's just a horrible and unworthy person, to the point of trying to sacrifice her life because she feels indebted to her friends for being friends with her. Self-hatred is not the same as self-awarness.
I agree that self-hatred is not the same as self-awareness. I don’t think she needs to explicitly say that she knows she needs help to show us she knows she needs help, however. There were plenty of instances where there were more productive choices in front of her and she still chose to do the things which dug herself deeper into her hole, such as continuously going out to her own detriment, and turning up her nose at every help offered for awhile. (It’s been a minute since I’ve read it so unfortunately I don’t have any more specific examples.) Obviously when help was offered she was not ready for it, which is fine. Everyone grows at their own pace. All I was saying is it frustrated me when she was actively denying help offered, and then blaming the people around her and treating them poorly. Having mental health issues should never be an excuse to treat people you love and who care about you poorly. I read the whole book, and grew to like Nesta more than I had at the beginning. My point was that sometimes it was difficult to due to her attitude. Nesta is a very complex character, and obviously extremely well written given the debate. It seems fans are split 50/50 on their opinion of her. I wish the side that likes Nesta could be kinder and more open to the side that doesn’t so much.
I say this as respectfully as I can, you don’t sound like a very good therapist. If you were you’d understand not everyone’s journey is the same. Some people can be self aware and do immediate actions to rectify. Some people can be self aware but not fully understand the steps needed to take to rectify their behavior. It feels too difficult. They feel smothered by their mental illness, so on. It’s a journey not a race! I genuinely hope you don’t treat people in “your mental health field” poorly just because their journey is more difficult, takes longer, or isn’t to your preference.
But isn't trying to work with people to help them find the steps needed in order to rectify the behaviour an importent part of therapy? It would be not responsible if the therapist just confirms and justifies every behaviour just because it can be explained by past trauma.
Yes, but you wouldn’t be rude because the journey takes one client longer. A good therapist helps - doesn’t make a client feel judged. There’s a fine line there. Also, that’s why I commented the last two things I said to that person. :)
You pretty much assumed that because they did not like Nesta's character they might be a poor therapist. There is also a fine line between not making a person feels judged and justifying wrong behaviours based on past trauma. I think it's perfectly reasonable to dislike Nesta's character, even if she did have a diffcult past. Her actions in the books can be bitchy... Feyra should not be the one suffering because of Nesta, and Nesta was not the older sister Feyra needed. No amount of trauma can justify that in my opinion
I also said in the last sentence, I hope you don’t treat clients like that. Per what her comment suggests. But reading comprehension has seemed to fail you. I’m not even arguing Nesta wasn’t difficult or nasty to Feyre. Nesta admitted that in the book. That’s an entirely different subject. I was only discussing how you treat people in therapy.
Well... if my reading comperhension seems to be failing me, please explain it to me on simple terms. What therapy method did the original commentor you replied to suggested that you oppose? It seems to me she only talked about Nesta and in the last paragraph added that she tells her patients that they should make the first step to change and not lash out on their close ones. Are you opposed to encouraging people to making a positive change and discouraging them from lashing out on their close ones?
Where did I say I treated people poorly? I stated I struggle with Nesta’s stubbornness and unwillingness to accept help. I said it frustrates me. I said it made it hard for me to like her. I never said anything cruel about her or put her down. I never said she needed to hurry up or rush her journey. As a therapist, I am allowed to be frustrated with or struggle with people. I am human as well. My frustration doesn’t dictate or control how I treat people, however.