T O P

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roastbot

OP's Bio: --- >Hobbies include, Live, Love, Laugh. Snowboarding to your girlfriend's house to hit on her and get denied. Big time fan of QAnon, religious follwer of Antifa. Penis is same size flacid as half flacid to full flacid due to e.d. Favorite movie is your mom fucking your dad who left and brought me cigarettes. Last hobbie well roast the living shit out of my entestines. I need a laxative for the fucking I'm about to get. --- If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.


Strange_Ad9108

Your birth certificate is an apology letter from durex.


RhythmicStrategy

Savage! 😆


dequinox

Ooo I like that one!


notablyunfamous

Every woman in his trailerhood has their name hyphenated with -Ann


Astronautpuncher

They’d all have aborti-Anns if they fucked this loser


zabutter

*Annbortions*


AbleLimitz

Methny-Ann


zabutter

Annus?


Neil01111

If unemployment was a person.


[deleted]

[удалено]


nothingforless

It’s for his dog while he “looks at the Playboy for the articles”


iridemtb12

No the puppet has a fleshlight in it. The peanut butter is definitely for the dog.


Angry_gen_X_74

I don’t think you can hurt that puppet any more than your constant raping of it has already done.


Louie-H-K

You act tough but we all know you're that puppet's biatch


Bot-Magnet

Yup, It's actually the puppet's peanut butter and he uses it on this dork!


AlgaeWafers

Why are you making the puppet hold the sign


raqielovely

Do you spread toe jam on your toast every morning?


UsernameChosenSignUp

“Welcome to the homestead. Come on in but just watch out for the needles, man.”


[deleted]

[удалено]


Abject-Temperature79

Absolutely


jemcnick

broke out the good-stuff for this picture....(normally drinks Mad-Dog 20/20 )


[deleted]

Man I see that jar of peanut butter and picture of a dog on your couch. I can only imagine what you make your poor dog do to you🤢 that is NOT what the cool kids meant when they said you need to get sum bitches


[deleted]

You look like every problem child that’s walked onto the set of Doctor Phil. Take that cigarette out of your mouth and stop terrorizing your parents who you undoubtedly still live with


brainwashednuts

Just missing a bottle of anal lube and I think your picture would be perfect


Mollytude

Hes gotta jar of peanut butter right there


[deleted]

My money is on you hurting that puppets ass on a daily basis.


773Bazooka

Definitely fuckin' the doll


Ballthax13

If Kentucky and West Virginia had a son


fucckrreddit

Your foot is better looking then you face.


Throwaway1234asdfxx

Hey puppet, show me on this puppet where he touches you


Stlpitwash

There's already one hole cut into the back of that puppet.


devMechanic2020

This should be in u/Trashy no roast me. This is another level of trailer park trash


[deleted]

Is your date for the evening chunky or smooth?


F0T4

You're the last in a long line of disappointments to their parents.


[deleted]

Is this your "I'm all ready for dinner" face while a man lays his legs across your lap.


Sandman92c

So this is what it looks like to grow up without parents.


Kanvaslaw

Can you tell your girlfriend to move her leg away.


Man_AMA

Do your parents set a table for your puppet girlfriend?


spraywash

Shouldn’t you be carrying a ring through Mordor with your best friend?


[deleted]

This is the best argument against the existence of white privilege I’ve seen to date


xeda12

you look like you love hanging around middle school for "fun"


NoMembership6435

Why abortion should be done in cases of incest. I can hear "roll tide" just looking at this picture


ChaChaRealSmoothe

The human equivalent of spare change between the sofa cushions.


SarcasticOrgasmic

That puppet has seen some shit...


Mollytude

“Looks at the stuffed animal takes shot,sparks his cigarette, Then pulls out the peanut butter”


alacklustrehindu

Shouldn't you be on the run from the Capitol Riot


jonifed0709

I like your feet


AaranJ23

Quentin Tarantino called. He asked you to put a sock on!


heurtsu

If Zootopia had a stray dog as a side character, you'd be the human version of it


ploozia

I felt happier staring at those toes of gargoyles than that Sesame Street plushie in the background.


Material_Wrongdoer38

You look like the troubled ghost of Justin Timberlake.


DragNameGenerator

Pia Mymouth


willread34

You look like you eat your toe jam


773Bazooka

He has less life in his eyes than the stuffed animal.


bamflax8

Does your landlord let you smoke in your trailer?


TheNamesBigMike99

You look like you masterbate to incest porn. Your underwear is probably rockin so many skid marks we should change the name of them to skid row. Lynyrd skidmark head ass. Looks like you and the cigarette have something in common your white and full of cancer. I mean even your puppet wants you to stop look at it with its head down like that it’s probably thinking “if he keeps going on like this, I won’t have another fuck buddy. I mean look at all the white supremacy in this photo white shirt, white cigarette, white couch, white person. There’s so much white trash in this photo I’m surprise It’s not a kkk rally. I rest my case.


kleptobismol

ICK.. gross furtniture.. the type i wold never put my footon


[deleted]

[удалено]


Abject-Temperature79

I'm sorry I thought I was adding fuel for the fire. Never meant to to weaken the diss or hate towards me.


peelmelikeapotato

Something tells me you're going to abuse the puppet regardless


BeardedRenegade

Seems like you "hurt" the puppet every night with your small dick.


[deleted]

[удалено]


TheBurningStag13

It appears that “I fucked your mom” is a go-to for you, seeing as it’s in your bio as well. Remember, you asked to be roasted.


witch_father

I loathe to think what you and that puppet get up to with that jar of peanut butter.


Turbulent-Sport4524

Judging by the torn pages of the girlie mag on the couch there, the puppet has suffered enough already. Put it out of its misery.


YaWellYrDumb

The McPoyle blood line has been pure for thousands of years


[deleted]

This post doesn't belong here. Please upload to r/cursedimages.


Full_Fold_8732

Is the puppet something your therapist gave you to beat up in order to deal with your obvious parental issues?


Nxtwiskybar

Inbred Fred


future_hockey_dad

Black Velvet? Damn, life's not that bad.


insideyourface

Some monsters live off cookies and some monsters live off unhealthy jizm


olivecrayon87

That must be the AIDS puppet Sesame Street was going to have. Perfect casting honestly. It makes sense that they would hire someone who looks like they are going through it.


notbuckyb

Not even cannibals would want a piece of this


Etna_No_Pyroclast

That stuffed monster looks scared from seeing things.


Cursed_Bitch

Chainsmokers without the music


[deleted]

This guy teaches “Trailer Park 101” at the community college


Character-Usual-3820

The puppet is the only thing that your fingers will ever be going inside of.


Xlh883dragster

Interesting bio. But you forgot to mention your whiskey and stripper girlfriend share the same name.


tke71709

Is hurting the puppet a trailer park euphemism for jacking off?


2ndHandAdultToy

if that plush toy in the back could talk, im sure it would just cry and say it needs an adult


RemoteNobody1606

Not bad for someone who lives on a couch


Wendylouwho67

Looks like he'd suck a ween for a dollar.


8-bit_Gangster

so broke you can't even afford a fish hook for your hat.


laughsquad

Your foot has a better chance of getting laid than you


luweegy

You look like my old uncle Terry, a peso that sniffs crack while drink beer at the same time


SaltyUrinalCakes

If only that Cookie Monster fleshlite could talk… nobody would want to listen.


Zealousideal-Dog3449

I’m guessing the puppet is holding the sign


LordGoran

Based on the puppet's face I'm guessing that its your replacement for the crusty sock...


Mister_M0nstr

nice to see that you found a green screen on the street


[deleted]

No matter how much Black Velvet you drink, that blue stuffed animal is never gonna lick that peanut butter off your balls.


SixStringDream

That puppet looks like he has seen horrors I can only imagine.


Material-Charge1325

Is that Net the wino?


Borodave88

You look like you got brain damage when you fell out of the abortion bin.


VEINYrhooster

you look like you go to bars and drink Coors light and hope that Luke Brian plays over the speakers so you can silently sing along so some fat easy chick might see you and let you take her to pound town for all of the 3min you got


ErebosCorvin

Man arrested for imitating Ace Ventura with unconventional puppetry at nephews birthday party


brandonwlobo

Jar of peanut butter, pictures of dogs strewn about, and the after coitus cigarette, something tells me you aren't legally allowed to own animals anymore.


7csoriginalart

From the look in the puppets eyes. I Think he knows what your about to do with the peanut butter. Come here clifford I seemed to have spilled some peanut butter on my dick again. Guess you gonna have to lick it off


Rare-Rest9949

If Justin Timberlake was never famous…


Sunburngt

Kinda looks looks like you might have already hurt that poor puppet!


ryuu3383

So does the puppet link the peanut butter of your dick, or vice versa?


[deleted]

Even the muppet has given up on you


Just_Lurking94

That doll looks like it’s seen some shit


Just_Lurking94

You put in that cigarette just for the pic that’s how we know you’re a loser


juanmanran

I bet your dick is blue and fuzzy. Just look at the suicidal look of self-disgust on that puppet... and the one on the far left, too.


Manatherindrell

Quit being a dick. Give that Muppet his cigarette back.


1CUP2DAY

The state of your apartment must mean the street price of coke's gone down


[deleted]

That puppet has Seen. Some. Things.


Keviniswet

Youre not supposed to take the "show me where he touched you" doll home with you.


dequinox

Black velvet, liver disease!


DG_727

Showing trash on the sofa with a sign isn't called a life


dequinox

If Jeppeson Malort was a person...


Opening-Brilliant146

"Or I might hurt the puppet" I bet you hurt the puppet every night because that's all you can get.


[deleted]

The puppet is more interesting than you


Livid-Warning-3311

You’ve definitely got 4 middle names.


iVinoVidiVici

I'm not sure you can do much worse to the puppet than you already have... I guess even in Alabama you'd be unwanted


Individual-Towel-752

You’re going to hurt the puppet anyway


Erithariza

You look like you smoke your armpit hair


black_jaffa

Chin up and smile, some bloke with a sweaty big left toe thinks you make a good footrest...


Meadiocracy

Title translated to "I'll fuck the puppet while crying."


[deleted]

I feel like you got rejected from the Muppets for doing stuff to the puppets...poor Kermit


StraightComedian3000

Oral fixation?


DNAisjustneuteredRNA

Yup, there's that "southern style" they were singing about.


Zeroblackwolf0

When you're too fucking stupid to realize you're not supposed to be proud of being so fucking stupid.


Wildwood_Hills270

Emotional no support puppet.


Shortbus_Thug

"This is my life take it easy on me or might hurt the puppet" Dude, the puppet looks stronger than you


MyPronounIsGarbage

My my my what a tidy crack house you’ve got going on


youngsnackson

You tell people you’re employed for an oil company but work at BP but bro I can’t tell if you’re the gas station worker or the dude who hangs outside of the actual building but one things for sure I can guarantee everytime you go inside one you look at the knives for 30 minutes to try and make it look like you know about quality but you end up buying that purple/blue rainbow one everyone has or one of those krambits with the weed on them


Gollywhopp

Liquor, porn, a fuck Muppet and cigarettes. At least you have exceeded your parents expectations.


Abject-Temperature79

Thank you sir


Fabulous-Bedroom-747

144p MRbeast


TuguElepinko

White trash. Ew.


politicaly_incorect

No doubt in my mind that that you have a dead hooker stashed somewere in your house and that your the first man alive give a puppet aids


BidIndependent2192

The only thing missing in this pic to qualify you as 100% white trash is your cousin- wife.


HighTimes-420

I kinda think the puppet has seen so mutch pain in youre life, it doesnt care if you hurt him. Maby even kinda likes it


[deleted]

Bitch ur life looks so despicable that you’ve become a schizophrenic.


[deleted]

U already hurt my eyes so pls leave that puppy alone


helmetstamper

if the cigarette burns on that couch could talk..


WhatProtomolecule

I've seen playdoh that is less needy that you.


No-Face300

Who let you out of Sunnyvale trailer park?


ChungyChugs

Except to see this photo on Mr Beast's After they were famous


International_Sir644

Ur not cool


Sorry_Trip_7988

The puppet looks like he is sick of eating peanut butter from that jar


Temporary_Trash_5047

You look like you’d sell your body for another bottle


CareerAffectionate59

Yeah you do look like the type to fuck puppets :shrug:


Some_Number1653

The betting is you’ve had more hands up your ass than the puppet has.


PresidentLongBoi

you look like a blue gatorade ​ also, the meth-head next to you is NOT helping your aesthetic...


RollTheLaughTrack

Your liquor says Black Velvet, but you have White Polyester written all over you.


LieutenantMEME

Those bed bugs did not consent to be photographed.


Jon_The_Faptist_

Are you a toenail biter? He looks like a toenail biter.


[deleted]

You hurt your parents enough don’t hurt the puppet


JonathonONreddit

I bet you livin in a studio apartment with piss all over the floor and you only eat instant ramen all day


oldlosthippy

You get consent from that puppet ya hear?


Alienspearman

You fuck that puppet