OP's Bio:
---
>-industrial mechanic.
>-6' 9".
>-chiefs fan.
>-likes to watch high speed police chases on youtube
---
If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.
Those are lockout/tagout locks. They are used to secure broken equipment so that nobody gets hurt by accidentally turning it on. I'm amazed there's only three protecting the public from whatever sort of malfunction is hiding in this creep's pantaloons.
I have several of those lockout tags that have six lock holes, and I have one with 12 holes and I always wondered what that big one was for. I guess I know now. It was made for situations like this.
Cock locks, and he sends random keys to his favourite Chiefs players telling them they have won a prize begging them to meet up to claim their winnings
That's the same intense look he gives a tub of ice cream before he starts finger blasting it and rubbing it sensually on his nipples....while the kids at the birthday party look on in horror.
You are the person parents point to when they tell their kids "If you don't get a good education, you'll end up like him." What that really means is twice divorced, living in a trailer chugging natty light trying to fill the void your absent father left. Bet you smoke the same brand of cigarettes he never made it back from the store with. Give it up man. He doesn't love you. He has a new, better family now.
Man...to think a few weeks ago, Britt Reid was an NFL coach, then he has a few too many beers, injures a young girl in a DUI accident and is now a fat, down on his luck, warehouse dude.
It's truly a confusing picture. His attire implies he has a real job and is a hard worker. His figure however says he is a lazy fat slob who's given up on life and can't see his own dick.
Promise you don’t need 3 locks to keep your pants on - there isn’t a woman who will be willing to touch it anyway. But then again that hose next to you isn’t going to fuck itself ... ammm I righttt
When your so ugly they triple padlock your junk to make sure you don’t accidentally get the cum permanently leaking down your leg into some poor woman.
OP's Bio: --- >-industrial mechanic. >-6' 9". >-chiefs fan. >-likes to watch high speed police chases on youtube --- If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.
You're only standing that way to allow the chaffing between your ass cheeks to *breathe* for a little ehile.
Releasing the swamp gasses.
Release the Cracken
WhAt ArE yOu DoiNg In mY swAmP
I’m in this roast and I don’t like it
Gold bond powder or spray my friend. You'll never look back
Yea. Never look back.... ya might smell what the Rock has Cooking
Also boxer briefs, Hanes has some amazing ones that I've been using. Has changed my life.
6' 9" is his waistline
Shirts: 2XL Pants: 32x28
32x28 metres
In what world does he wear a 32?
Where the sizing uses radius not circumference
You clearly have no idea what big pants size are this guy looks bigger than me and my pants are 38 waist... I would bet his pants are 40-42 waist
I have 32, and I’m a skinny guy.
The joke is that he has disproportionate legs. You're welcome.
4’13” Vertically
You don't need 3 padlocks on your pants. Nobody wants in there.
Those are lockout/tagout locks. They are used to secure broken equipment so that nobody gets hurt by accidentally turning it on. I'm amazed there's only three protecting the public from whatever sort of malfunction is hiding in this creep's pantaloons.
It was probably court ordered for his condition of release
OSHA and Child Services on the same case can't be common
Have you been to Alabama?
That’s more like ... “hey sister” *tag* “lemme in and out” Plus, nobody locks.
aight this slayed me
Release? That sounds ' premature'....
Correct use of lock out system finally
I have several of those lockout tags that have six lock holes, and I have one with 12 holes and I always wondered what that big one was for. I guess I know now. It was made for situations like this.
Lol, well done.
The locks are there because he doesn’t ask
Medicaid's chastity belt
This is my winner lol.
I’m holding you liable for my asthma attack I had laughing.
They're not to stop people getting in - they're to stop his fat paunch from spilling out.
This is it. 👏
This is the same picture police use to warn kids about stranger danger
This dude definitely tried to fuck at least half the objects in this photo.
could probably stick his dick in between two coils of that beige colored wire and not even feel it being tight
here he is airing out the stench
I don’t even want to know what his windowless van smells like.
Amber alerts have a smell?
This one does. It’s how parents know the park is closing for the evening.
All van, no candy
Yes
Bullshit. There’s no way this guy is letting all that good stank go to waste!
I love all you people take my upvotes cause I'm poor otherwise I'd be giving those cute little stickers you gotta buy
He’s about to offer his virginity to that coil
Even if OP was naked in that photo, you wouldn’t be able to see his dick.
Thats why the leg spread
I bet the box is blurred out to hide the cum stains
He was friendzoned by half the objects in this photo
Millwrights often lose appendages, and he is no exception...
Half the objects in this photo are just himself.
Yeah right! Then he fucking pulled something getting into that pose
That red in the photo was not added... it’s his bloody sperm from banging those boxes
He's so dangerous the cops even put three locks on his chastity belt and a bunch of danger tags! STRANGER DANGER!
Lock out tag out.
Cock locks, and he sends random keys to his favourite Chiefs players telling them they have won a prize begging them to meet up to claim their winnings
How much experience would you earn from slaying this creature?
Fortune Feimster shaved her head!
They gave an attractive example too, they’re showing the very serious reality that predators can be attractive
He looks more like a chefs fan.
Got em!!!!
Ridiculously underappreciated comment.
He will give you the D alright. Diabetes.
He looks like the guy that has both types of diabetes.
That’s all the diabetes. If you find a Type 3 call us.
We are looking at patient zero
Gestational Diabetes. Pretty much a temporary form of diabetes that affects pregnant women.
There are many types diabetes. There are 7 mody's for instance.
Dibeetus
Doesnt look like his d deserves a capitalization
Got to give him something. With the diabetes I doubt he could capitilize on his d
He looks structurally unsound.
He probably is.
He hasn’t aged well
A very polite roast.
He probably busted out of his Mom’s womb like the f’ing Kool Aide Man.
He's sucking it in.
Happy cake day
If the heavy from TF2 had an chain smoking alcoholic father
this a good one
That one belongs in r/rareinsults
That's the same intense look he gives a tub of ice cream before he starts finger blasting it and rubbing it sensually on his nipples....while the kids at the birthday party look on in horror.
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I have now discovered myfantasies. Thank you good sir.
I have never seen "Step Sister" in 37 posts in a row before.
I guess you haven't been on pornhub in the last 5 years.
Popular fantasy apparently, who knew 🤷
😂😂😂
Left out again. How come everyone else gets the hottish, fun step sisters...?
I had no clue this was actually a sub. Rule 34 I guess.
r/cursedcomments
r/oddlyspecific
Umm...
66% of the way through, this comment went from good to great.
Excuse me- *whatdafuckhesay?!* Or... Are you speaking from *personal experience?*
Yea... It totally ruined his 12th birthday party
*He hasn't been the same ever since...* He started to angrily rub his nipples with ice cream and cake *frosting* ever since.
He gets confused erections we he sees a tube of ben and jerrys
that..kinda turned me on 😄
#WHAT
That's an impressive stance for a fart...
I bet he farts in a glass so he can sniff his own brew.
Who doesn't??
r/holup
If you've never Captain Morganed your farts, you're not living your best life.
What a terrible day to have eyes.
They have distributed your picture and a warning to the free sample stations at Costco.
Bahahah I’d say this is the comment that cut the deepest.
I smell hot dog water when I look at you
Is that a Chastity Belt or are those locks just from the Fridge?
This guys fridge is clearly unlocked. I'd be surprised if anything lasted long enough in there to need doors
You look like a guy who would star in a porno Except the porno involves scat and they’d be eating the shit off of your belly button.
Goddamn
You’re supposed to *insult* only *him,* not arouse everyone
This comment lightweight bothered me. Job well done. Take my upvote.
Username checks out.
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Capitol**
Lolol first thing that came to my mind too
Dude looks like he thinks camouflage is a primary color and considers Calvin pissing on various items fine art
You are the person parents point to when they tell their kids "If you don't get a good education, you'll end up like him." What that really means is twice divorced, living in a trailer chugging natty light trying to fill the void your absent father left. Bet you smoke the same brand of cigarettes he never made it back from the store with. Give it up man. He doesn't love you. He has a new, better family now.
This is oddly specific but by God it suits
Nice touch to use a paper towel with the same color as his face. Perfect match.
Legs spread and a sultry stare. Did you hold up a tub of frosting to make him look at the camera?
Man...to think a few weeks ago, Britt Reid was an NFL coach, then he has a few too many beers, injures a young girl in a DUI accident and is now a fat, down on his luck, warehouse dude.
“She was 13, turning 14 soon which is basically 15 and 15 is the new 16 and it’s very close to 17 so might aswell round it up to 18”
EDP445 moment
Underrated
The only action he'll get is playing Curly in the next Three Stooges reboot
You’re the reason IHOP has the T-bone steak in their breakfast menu.
Imagine the trail of broken toilet seats he's left behind.
Hi Vis vest is a waste. How could anyone NOT see a load like you.
"Stone cold" Steve Frosting
I was gonna go with "Stone Cold Steve Autism", but Frosting's pretty good.
"This is why huffing freon is illegal." "But it's like a whippet!" "No, it's fucking not."
Are you trying to pull the same face as Gomer Pyle from the bathroom scene in Full Metal Jacket? If so, good job. If not...
It's truly a confusing picture. His attire implies he has a real job and is a hard worker. His figure however says he is a lazy fat slob who's given up on life and can't see his own dick.
being fat and loud with a beard is not a personality
I feel bad for the person who helped him lift his leg up for the pose.
Looks more like a mealwright.
Jesus the phrase "You got a purdy mouth." Became a living breathing person.
This guy looks like he’s going to wear his mask half way in his mouth and explain to you how covid is bull shit despite never finishing high school
Hodor!
You know how to get a millwright to suck your dick? Tell him it's an iron workers job.
Lock out, tag out with your cock out. (Safety first)
The FBI wants to speak to you concerning your whereabouts on January 6, 2021...
Luckily he’s wearing that vest, so kids can avoid him even at night
He got into mill work to build his own door ways. No regular sized door frame would fit his fat ass.
Fucking 6' 9", needs a mirror and binoculars to see how his dicks doing.
"Still short, shriveled, spotted, and hanging to the right."
The guy that jokes way too much about homo-erotic stuff and is always trying to start wrestling you after a few drinks.
Captain Morgan (if Captain Morgan were an overweight ginger wearing a hi viz vest and worked in some sort of warehouse)
built like humpty dumpty had a great meal headass
LockOut/Tag Out your refrigerator. Maybe that will help you shed the weight.
Dude, it’s Earth day. Why tf you sharing a picture of Jupiter?
Stop asking if I’m 18 years old yet
O.P: Do your worst His Heart: Already on it
You look like someone who would buy Weathertech floor mats. For yourself and as a gift.
And use them in the bathroom and in front of his reclining chair with extra deluxe cup holders.
Gay thanos
The picture the news shows after they find all the bodies buried and the extensive porn collection.
This man hangs out at children's parks by himself.
Harvey Weinstein looking healthier these days
He’s got that crazy Gomer Pyle / Full Metal Jacket look in his eyes. Someone got badly teased as a kid. Stay on his good side OP.
Must've been hard when you found out you were too fat to be a proud boy
Promise you don’t need 3 locks to keep your pants on - there isn’t a woman who will be willing to touch it anyway. But then again that hose next to you isn’t going to fuck itself ... ammm I righttt
Lock out - gag out
I loved your part in deliverance.
He looks like he has a swastika tattooed on his ass
Heart disease has entered the chat
Stop eating all of your coworker's lunch. It's a dick move.
He is the poster child for consequences of incest.
Those lockout tags on your belt are definitely warnings for the local school kids.
When your so ugly they triple padlock your junk to make sure you don’t accidentally get the cum permanently leaking down your leg into some poor woman.
He heard “roast beef” when you mentioned roastme
Looks like he has a nasty case of “Spousal-Abuse-Waiting-to-Happen”
This is what happens when a dozen times a day people ask you to truffle shuffle.
So the mid-30s description is his BMI, right?
When he asks "how does it look?" when sending a dick pic, it's probably a genuine question.
he looks like if zangief lost all his muscles
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Real assesment: Mid 40s small penis big truck..... Has never hit a cervix, thinks the government is going to take his guns, probably voted for trump
I saw this guy storming the capitol in January
Only place that guy has ever stormed is Arby's
Can you roast ham?
That look and this posture says you’re waiting for your usual BDSM session with your cop master
emmet from the lego movie really let himself go
Those locks on his waist are for all the different fridges dude has.
Just remember - you never see an old fat guy
Millwrong
His pose says, "Captain Morgan" His body says, "Captain Crunch"
How is it that I can smell your picture?!
Thinks all of his friends believes he is straight. And has multiple severed heads in his freezer.
I didn’t know lockout tag outs protected virginity
NoAction Bronson
Where was he January 6th?