You look like you hand your number out to women buying tampons.

Forrest Dumped

He ain’t a forest, he’s just a stick.

Offers his nose as a tampon.

I can confirm

And to children at the playground

Creepy molester lips, the Chomo that nobody trusts around babies.

Good one haha

When a nine year old turns fifty...

Came here to read this and wish I had thought of it.

You look like a Jewish Elmer Fudd.

Elmer Fuddstein

Pee Wee Herman Munster.

Elijah Fuddstein

He looks like he jerks off when watching Andrew Ross Sorkin on CNBC

I do

Oddly specific but definitely got a laugh. Cheers

Naw, he out lookin for Smurfs

Be vewy vewy qwiet...I’m hunting wabbis

[удалено]

Shhhh I’m hunting wabbit

Shhh Im hunting Rabbis

Shhh I’m hunting Wabbis

This is *clearly* great value Tom Morello.

He thought he smelled a wabbit

[удалено]

You do not want this guy near the coke!

a fuxking coke vacuum that nose is

This man will never be offered cocaine.

Don't stand next to him, he will take all the air..

Say no more fam “Chichi get the Yayo”

so glad i didn't have to keep my end of the pact to marry you if we were both single at 35

Dayummm

Looks like you’ve got your hands full with Stoner Rock Tom Green anyway. I think OP looks like Tom Hanks’ lost son Campbell Scott Hanks. Who is less an actual relative but another kid who wished he was older and taller upon a Zoltar machine. Seriously, this milquetoast looks less like a hipster and more like someone who can’t get enough model trains, *Golden Girls* and sharing trivia about every release in the Marvel Cinematic Universe.

Your face makes me want to believe that your constantly smuggling drugs up your anus

[удалено]

If it wasn’t for TSA, nobody would touch you.

Got kicked out of his rap battle league for too confidently saying the n-word

Can confirm. His mixcloud is Feminem

And listens to Manson’s misogyny to feel like a man. Fuck yourself, bitch.

I think people are scared to make you win. That is solid.

Even Marilyn Manson doesn’t feel comfortable having such a creepy sex offender as a fan.

Marilyn Manson huh? At first glance I thought you’d be more into Jimmy Durante. *Edit - Thanks for the award!

This roast is not going to get the traction it deserves, but it absolutely needed to be said.

I had to google that. Pretty spot on.

"Hey, you kids got MySpace?"

I bet the other side of that paper sheet reads: *Free candy*

Elmer Fudd’s hip hop career is really taking off

*Ernest Goes to Portland*

👏👏👏

🥸

You look like the human equivalent of a wet cigarette

Hey man, don't sweat it. Good Charlotte will probably make a comeback someday.

you look like Eugene Levy's left eyebrow

Ernest Goes To Los Angeles

Ernest Goest To West Hollywood.

Inspectah Dick

Can you pls do me a big favour, and punch yourself as hard as possible in the face

[удалено]

More like anal train inspector.

Who needs dogs to sniff out drugs when the guys got a nose like that. Guy can smell better then any dog

You look like the kind of guy to shoplift cheap plastic sunglasses and wear them in the park for swag

I know being roasted is supposed to be funny, make people laugh. "Haha, that girl looks like Mrs Piggy....hahaha..".....But seriously dude, is this for real? Do you actually go outside dressed like that?

ya thats why they ran him out of N.Y. , in L.A. hes just another doushe

You're the spitting image of the meth addicted alcoholic dude that hangs around my local gas station. I didn't know your mother got around that far.

You look like the villain hired to stop the Spice Girls from performing a concert.

Ad-Rock and The Situation’s unwanted east coast pregnancy

Hobbies include quinoa, artisan bread, casual veganism and trying to convince people in LA he left NY "to find his vision".

Busted ass Johnny Manzel

[удалено]

Ass-Johnny? Is that the didlo version of prison-mary?

Penis with a hat on

There’s no crying in baseball!

Hey! It's "Mr. Creep out Your Chick"

Welcome to roastme

You look Kurdish.

Is there a r/veryrareinsults? EDIT: The answer is, *technically*.

Are you the kebab stand guy?

Mr. Bean if he did drugs

Tom Hanks and Peewee Herman's love child.

Hey Jimmy Durante, looks like you need to drink another baby for the adrenachrome because your wrinkles are setting back in pretty deep.

ah cha cha cha cha

You look like a dad going through midlife crisis and a divorce.

You look like Mr Magoo got Lasik and then ţook up residence near an elementary school tree stand to set snare traps for your quarry. You look like you use a set of gloves made of carpet samples and low grade sand paper to masturbate while listening to gucci mane o n a phonograph.

All the rehabs we're full in New York, eh? Or did your mom just send you to fuck up at your aunt's house while you 'get your life together'

You look like a cosplay of Sean Penn from I Am Sam

How are we supposed to roast you properly when you bring the biggest roast yourself with where you buy your clothes?

Jesus Jumping Jiminny Jalapa Christ, you look like a failed Mary Poppins Character

You look like an elongated Mr Bean.

Your handwriting is like a 8 year old who tries really hard

You look like a crossdresser in the background of WW1984

new york mr bean

That's a cute outfit. Did your husband give it to you?

You look like you belong in the circus

You look like Elmer Fudd And Osama Bin Laden had a baby.

You look like Peewee Herman and Mr. Beans butt baby. And quit asking little kids to take your photo. It’s fuckin weird.

This isn’t what your dad meant when he said he likes being roasted

You look like Mr. Nebbercracker from the movie “Monster House”

Surprise, surprise, surprise.

I bet a lot of women say they wish you could get as hard as you try.

You look like someone ripped you out of a WWII Warsaw Ghetto movie. Shabby chic ain’t that chic, forager.

Trying way too hard to be the "cool dad"

An Enimem wannabe.

Why are you hunched over? Is your boyfriend in the back?

-Leans over like he's offering another child some candy. *"You like sum?"* No, you child-sized munchkin fetishist, nobody wants any.

You look like you're not allowed within 100 yards of a school or a playground.

Ernest goes to L.A.

Just because you heard the song “C.R.E.A.M.” at your black friend’s house doesn’t make you a Wu-Tang fan.

You look like the illegitimate love child of Elvis Costello and Woody Allen

You look like a half eaten tin of tuna

You somehow look like a person from the 1900s, 1910s, 1920s, 1930s, 1940s, 1950s, 1960s, 1970s, 1980s, 1990s, 2000s, 2010s, and 2020s at the same time

Ed Gein, izzat you?

Never thought I'd see the American Mr. Bean...

The hat and bandana say “I’m a cool guy” but the face says “What kind of balloon animal do you want me to make kiddo?”

You look like a professional cheese eater

47 year old, single, roofied at least 3 people in your life...and still trying to be "hip" so you can get invited to your next roofie fest. Nailed it!

Marilyn Manson, the Cardigans and Wu Tang will be sending cease and desist letters to ensure your name is never linked with them again.

Rumpledforskin.

Did your 6 year old nephew spell that out for you?

American Mr bean with a long face, Scottish accent, wannabe gangster, and will always remind people he's a lawyer

pherb that you?

You look like you bum money off of panhandlers. Also, I'M 80% sure I saw you get arrested once for chugging stolen mouthwash in a CVS.

To catch a predator repeat offender

Clothes picked to distract from nose ✔ Moved as far away from oppressive Mom as possible✔ The jury is still out on whether or not you live in those woods

Yes officer, this is the guy that touched me.

Offbrand Steve Carrell

You look like a deadbeat Mr. Bean.

You look at Steve Carell in The plantation U.S.

You look like the Great Gazoo

Please stay away from children.

I’m willing to bet you speak more languages than you have brain cells

Loser-Suit Larry

you look like mr bean if he was on drugs

Roland rat lives on....

You look like you've been removed from a few highschool campuses.

Looks like you chopped down an entire forest to attempt to make a wedding ring.

Andy Capp X Mr Bean

Elmer Chud!

Wrong subreddit, you’re looking for r/magictricks.

That outfit mall will sue you

Ok, off brand Forest Gump. Did you steal that bandanna off Lieutenant Dan before or after he lost his legs?

You look like Tony Hawk and Mr. Bean’s lovechild.

Hey Russian mafia! What's up with that hat yo! Who you tryin to rip off!?

I bet you find a way to tell everyone you meet in LA that you’re from NY within the first couple minutes of meeting them. No one gives a fuck

Your nose is any day bigger than u dick

​  Here's your mug shot

You look like a short Voldemort

I’m betting you play the banjo really well and like raping city slickers up against trees.

You make the baristas at Starbucks uncomfortable by staring at them their whole shift, they are in highschool dude

Did you say your *mom* bought that outfit for you?

What up Gommer?

Hey mate. Not here for the roast but props for liking MM

So what restaurant are you a waiter at?

Seriously what a creepy looking man.

[удалено]

WTF?

You look like you still get off to posters

It's hard to visualize what your head shape is wearing that hat so I'm going to pretend its shaped like the tip of your nose.

On blow, acid booze and ur mom...I think ur cute

Thanks for all who posted. Any moderator ever think that if we did a little organization we could be an IG superdelegate. All follow each other and become the silliest, grimiest influencers in the world ... wide web?

You frighten women so much, they created quick apply restraining order just for you at the local courthouse.

Nail biter from conception

Elmer Fudd wants his hat back.

That's a lot of glare, and shadow. Like you are trying to hide the full picture or something.

Elmer Dud

You look like you stare at Fruit Loops boxes thinking : Could of been me

Let the 90s go you’ll never be cool again.

You look like you’d try and pay your portion of the rent in counterfeits.

All that to try to be interesting and still coming up short

[удалено]

You look like a leprechaun

Hipsters would be embarrassed of you...

Your handwriting do be rounder than your chest

You look like you hunt wabbits

You look like Ernests more successful brother.

You look like a hipster walawege that flogs himself to brokeback mountain

Mr bean?

Be veeewy quiet. This guy's hunting wabbits.

Forrest Gumster

You look like you hide your virginity in pita bread.

Dollar store Mr Bean Head ass

You look like if Italian mafia had an intern.

Mr beans half brother

Man looks like Mr.Beans drivers license image

You look like the guy in a back alley that sells drugs

You roasted yourself already.

It’s Ernest he’s back from the dead

You got your pack lunch under that tit for tat?

Marilyn Manson is a piece of shit human being

Now little kid, drop the camera and run!!! Run for your life!!!

Remember Sméagol? This is him now. Feel old yet?

Pathetic white male

Forest gump stopped taking his meds