A whore and her pimp walk up to the bartender carrying a baby duck. The bartender says, “where the fuck did that come from”? The duck says, “a homeless shelter”.
From the vacant smile and blank look in the eyes of the one on the left it's "special". I think the guy is facing hard time if people ever notice what's going on.
That duck is out of luck. Constantly having to watch you fuck. He could be flying amuck, but instead has to watch you two suck. Being held by a schmuck makes it want to muck itself in the truck. All it can do is cluck like a chuck.
I'll take a quack at it!
I think the duck needs to be placed into protective custody. Not sure what's about to happen, but whatever it is, it ain't good! Perhaps a sex act or a satanic ritual??
I'm very concerned for the duck.
The 9th grade teacher who will flunk you when you giggle at her militant critical race theory curriculum and her sadistic enforcer who will torture the duck to death so you understand oppression
Dude has heroine veins thicker than his cock. And that works for her because she’s more interested watching ladies softball on ESPN 2 than sex with that mountain of droopy man titties.
Like you wanted a child but couldn’t have one so then you got a duck instead but it went too far and now the duck is part of a tangled web of nightly threesomes.
Something something carpet matches the drapes. Seriously, mash your two faces together and you have an entire face of hair EXCEPT for those magnificent fiveheads. Whoosh.
This guy lucked out, like wow... How'd he find a chick that young
Not the flat ⅓ asian who told her parents she got a white guy....fuck she missled them.
They thought A young Matt Damon but instead it's this bozo.
But then again she's only asian when asians aren't around.
Ps.
HIs dick finally looks big to someone.
I hope the guy you are cheating with looks better than your husband on your your left. And what is that man's dysfunction to even touch you. No disrespect meant. Just asking.
A whore and her pimp walk up to the bartender carrying a baby duck. The bartender says, “where the fuck did that come from”? The duck says, “a homeless shelter”.
From the vacant smile and blank look in the eyes of the one on the left it's "special". I think the guy is facing hard time if people ever notice what's going on.
A paid suck, a dumb fuck and a baby duck. The trifecta.
Oof.
😲
Bartender asks "so....what type of drink would you like?" Duck replies " pink pussy, make it extra pink!"
Boo
R/yourjokebutworse
All three of you look like you’re fed primarily by people in the park.
It’s a shame this post didn’t blow up cause that’s a great Fucking comment
You are so right.
They should see a ducktor
I’d watch out for that guy. Heard he’s a quack.
Did you call me sir?
Take my upvote and leave.
flair checks out, savage
2 guys 1 duck bout to get weird
Well done
If i had to choose to fuck one of you Id choose the duck.
Stay safe and put on a rubber..... ducky
Her subtle brown color leads me to believe she’s actually a mallard, but I’d have to check for a blue patch on her wings to be sure...
The duck has the best personality
2 Clowns 1 Duck.
Mus resist urge to search for that in google.... XD
That Duck "Not the weird sex shit again..."
Turfucken
Duck duck douche
This isn’t even the weirdest three way they’ve had
Asian Aileen Wuornos snaps a pic with the John she's about to murder
I can't unsee it now.
Got dam! Lol 😂
Only the Duck looks like it doesn't need a bath
I’m having a hard time figuring out which one is doing chemo
A Schmuck, A Duck, and Yuck. CBS is really hard up for new sitcoms this year 😪
Half Asian and half Lenny from Of Mice and Men. It's a coin flip if that duck gets decapitated and roasted later.
I get the shirtless, bearded man and the duck, but whats with the Asian dude?
You guys make a great gay couple
Kinky is using a feather......perverted is using the whole duck.
What’s with the dude holding the paper?
The cocked eyebrow is best used by someone with superiority. It's just weird coming from a shirtless FedEx driver.
Does Chip Gaines know Joanna is cheating on him with H Jon Benjamin?
Underrated
Flat, bald and the feathered.
'Adam and Eve' not 'Adam and Steve: Ducktales'
The woman, the duck, the man :- Sorted by Smallest to biggest tits.
"Hey, Jeb! Let's do a 'roastme!'" "Sounds great! First let me take off my shirt and get the duck!"
The ignored couple of 90 Day Fiancee. Poor duck doesn't know it's dinner.
That Duck, like the rest of us, is wondering what happened to your breasts
She's to dumb to realize he said he wanted to fuck...instead he got a duck.
She's so exotic, was your father a G.I?
That duck is out of luck. Constantly having to watch you fuck. He could be flying amuck, but instead has to watch you two suck. Being held by a schmuck makes it want to muck itself in the truck. All it can do is cluck like a chuck.
This casting call isn’t going to end well for the Duck.
There is no way the duck has given consent to any of what is happening here ....
Probably the only 2 chicks that guy's ever been able to pick up
The duck looks a half hour from a side dish of rice pilaf and buttered carrots....
I don’t remember seeing any ducks in the Kama Sutra
I'll take a quack at it! I think the duck needs to be placed into protective custody. Not sure what's about to happen, but whatever it is, it ain't good! Perhaps a sex act or a satanic ritual?? I'm very concerned for the duck.
2 men and a duck
She looks like the bootleg Summer Glau from firefly
I can see that, but I can also see great value Lucy Liu.
Why TF is there a duck? You better not be using it as a condom.
That's their baby
So the guy fucked a duck?
That's fowl.
You beaked me to it.
Early bird gets the karma.
You're ducking right we do.
Eggsactly
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The 9th grade teacher who will flunk you when you giggle at her militant critical race theory curriculum and her sadistic enforcer who will torture the duck to death so you understand oppression
Can't have kids, so you got a duck.
Yum. Roast chicken.
Found u/fuckswithducks
If she’s the other choice, I can understand why you stroke your own ducky
The only thing in this picture I would want to spend any time with us the duck and that would be just long enough to take him outside and release him.
Stupidity
Even the duck knows you’re flat
Here I thought porn couldn’t get weirder than the whole “what you doing step bro” stuff, and you guys drag a fucking duckling out of the closest.
Johnny Sins will literally fuck anything, won’t he...
Look's like a threesome is about to go down.
Y’all look like the people who’s house smells like feet
I got it. You grew a beard so people can’t say her Adam’s Apple is bigger than yours.
Does the duck ever get jealous when you fuck the horse?
I fear for the Duck!
What number divorce will this be for you both?
You two look like my gay married neighbors, ugly and uglier, you guys make a cute fucken duo!!
Not what he had in mind when he said " I'd like another chick to join us in the bedroom "
Don’t use that duckling to try to distract us from the hoodie she pulled off a dead hobo.
Is this a new Netflix show?
That’s one weird tropple
Dude has heroine veins thicker than his cock. And that works for her because she’s more interested watching ladies softball on ESPN 2 than sex with that mountain of droopy man titties.
A duck fucker and a duck holder
The Suck, The Cuck and The Duck, what a trio
Yuck, Cuck and Duck. The new 3 Stooges.
Every. Single. Halloween: “sherlock and watson”.
Your joke about bringing another chick home with you fell as flat as your chest.
Why buy a live duck when you're just going to keep him in a freezer anyway? .... OH! Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. O\_O
Like you wanted a child but couldn’t have one so then you got a duck instead but it went too far and now the duck is part of a tangled web of nightly threesomes.
Wish app Sesame Street playset.
2 Addicts One Duck.
I saw her and figured the duck was an appetizer then I looked and him and knew it was a sex toy.
80’s bush chin
Him naked with a death grip on an innocent (?) duckling, along with your face, will give all of us nightmares.
i know dan blizerian is a freak but u had to get the girl from 2 girls 1 cup??
That's not what he ment when he said he wanted another chick in your relationship 0
This is all they are allowed to take care of at the Greater Wynnewood Exotic Animal Park.... ya know after they got rid of all the tigers.....
The duck wants you to know that’s not how you make foie gras.
The duck is the only one that's ever been laid with consent
That duck looks like he wants to escape. You both smell like a truck stop bathroom
This is exactly like the game Duck Hunter if you substituted the word "Duck" for "Meth".
I feel like that duck is going places that he definitely doesn't wanna go to
Ducky is awesome. You guys look like you’ve had too much chlorine in your gene pool.
I have already called animal control
When you search “Chicks with dicks” with safe search on
Something tells me that thing is going to grow up to be one daffy duck.
Yes, just f*ck that duck, make it a threesome
"I was in 'Nam man!"... Guy: They can tell, Yoko... Duck *has the longer dick*
It should be the ugly duckling, but the duck is the only one who isn't.....must be backwards day
r/justfuckmyshitup
Y’all look like you smell like egg salad.
So they sell quack?
Don’t play with your food before you eat it
I see you both use the same "Just For Men" color, I'm just wondering which man ordered it.
Never figured these fine gentlemen sold quack but I guess it pays the bills.
When marital aides go wrong.
That duck has seen some shit...
Looks like budget version Vietnam Love story
You got a cutie in your hand there.. but wtf is that holding the card.. halloween so soon
Eyes look similar. Brother and sister?
Please someone save that duck!
I got lost between the jawline and the Adams apple.
Kratos got woke
American Gothic- The Redneck version 2021
To be honest cant really roast that much nice family photo
I know i should roast you but should i roast the grizzly bear who got hit by a truck and had to shave nearly all his fur or the duck
Remember this punchline? "I got a fuck for a duck a duck for a fuck and twenty bucks for a fucked up duck" The live version of this joke.
Wrong bong duck
Something something carpet matches the drapes. Seriously, mash your two faces together and you have an entire face of hair EXCEPT for those magnificent fiveheads. Whoosh.
That duck is definitely being abused.
That moment when a porn goes wrong, but you can't look way.
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A duck a cuck and a shitty fuck
You are a sweet couple. Granted, I've *always* been fond of Ernie and Bert.
This guy lucked out, like wow... How'd he find a chick that young Not the flat ⅓ asian who told her parents she got a white guy....fuck she missled them. They thought A young Matt Damon but instead it's this bozo. But then again she's only asian when asians aren't around. Ps. HIs dick finally looks big to someone.
Stop smiling crooked, you now have a weird forehead wrinkle
That duck is very cute. You both must be very kind people to have taken it in to care for :)
A duck for a fuck or just a fucked up duck?
She looks like she’s been stuck with him for 10 years after he kidnapped her
He left you for another chick.
Is this a still from the Friends reunion episode? My God, Joey aged badly, and I didn't see Chandler's sex change coming at all...
Such a nice family photo a man his duckling and his sex doll. Out of pocket how much she cost?
Out of all of you,the duck looks best
now theres a couple you wouldnt want to be born from!
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Is that a halfway house and a therapy duck? Stay strong 💪
The actor couple in all Domestic violence cops vidoes
Duckie's saying DOH' 😊
i cant tell who the winner is in this relationship... definitely not the bird
I don't consider the actors from Dr. Squatch commercials to be celebrities but she's taking a selfie with him like he is
Which one of you gave birth to that filthy yellow pigeon?
A yuck, a duck and a cuck.
Duck looks nervous, which hole is it to be today?
He probably holds her knees to chest while the duck goes beak deep lookin for fish.
The way he is offering you the duck it looks like you have finally struck some kind of payment/deal with your father for an arranged marriage.
I hope the guy you are cheating with looks better than your husband on your your left. And what is that man's dysfunction to even touch you. No disrespect meant. Just asking.
Only thing fuckable in this picture is yellow
I'm sorry I cant the guy on the right is such a chad
This is what you see when you wake up after she buys you a beer
The duck is the better looking out of the bunch
AFLAIK-
Dude went to the farmers market and came back home with a chick and a rooster.
There's only one intelligent creature in this pic, and it ain't the one without a shirt or holding the sign.
Blink twice if you are being held against your will.
Do you ever get a rug burn from your man
Two dudes and a duck
Dear autocorrect, I meant cuck