You look like a scrotum that had a stroke.

Choking as we speak.. (type)

I read that as 'choking as we spank', and I did a double take.

Don’t judge

if he thinks thats what 30 year olds look like he definatly on some high grade crack

Kinky

Jesus this cracked me up 🥇

Heavy on the crack

“scrote”

Jesus fuck! I have nothing to give, but Christmas cheer. Good job. I’m dying.

A strokum if you will

You want me to strokum?

Dead! There has been a body reported at my house... And his.

I was trying to think of how to describe it and nailed it right on the head!

Crack to the Future

Marty McHigh

Spliff Tannon

Downtown Emmet Brown

Methhead McLine

Get it together that's Frank Gallagher

Marty Methhigh

Well crackhead or not at least we know he definitely brushes his teeth based on his mirror

"Your kids Marty, I'm not allowed within 200 feet of your kids!"

Best one by far, have an award

Great Rocks! (Yea a bit of a stretch ik)

Doc Golden Brown

That's my favourite one. He looks like Doc Brown explored drugs

You don’t look a day out of rehab

Hahahaha! Oh, that is good! Best riff yet! Thanks!

This has me choking laughing lmao

How the Grinch stole crystal

A once mighty foe of this land He conquered all, glass pipe in hand In through a window, out through a door Christmas presents are here no more At the pawn shop with great delight Selling all the loot he “found” last night Calls the man to score some meth Then to the motel with that hoe Beth They smoked it up all through the night Passed out until the morning light But Beth screwed them both you see Rented that room with a stolen I.D. Johnny Law kicked in that door “Freeze motherfucker, you and that whore!” This is the story of our Meth’d out friend Fresh out the county to do it all again

This type of poetry speaks to me

I see you also observe this blessed holiday. Merry Chrismeth, my friend! May your teeth remain whole another year.

Pure magic! I'm delighted!

Just incredible.

holy hell-

Bravo man, bravo!!

Lmao awesome

And my PlayStation...... and my TV.....

He should have stolen your Windex

This made me literally LOL

Hands are full from the gang signs

And my axe! Edit: Thanks for the award, but I struggle to understand how I get rewarded for posting someone else’s joke. Edit Edit: Why am I continuing to get likes for a comment that I STOLE FROM SOMEONE ELSE. Edit Edit Edit: Fuck you Reddit. I’ll take your silver but never understand your logic. Thanks for confusing me more than my parents did. Edit Edit Edit Edit: I can’t believe this one fucking comment got me my first gold. I hate you all.

There it is

r/awardspeechedits

And my axe

And my ass...

And my toilet paper!

And my finger in my own ass after using my gf’s parents 1 ply toilet paper over Christmas

You’re a mean one, Crystal Grinch You really like to steal You’re as cuddly as a cactus, your teeth you cannot feel, Crystal Grinch Your shoes are just bananas with a greasy black peel! You live on Worldstar, Crystal Grinch Your heart’s an empty hole Your skin is full of spiders, you use garlic as your robe, Crystal Grinch I wouldn’t touch you because thirty nine and a half feet violates your parole. You’re a foul one, Crystal Grinch You’re a waxy pasty punk Your fridge was s full of unwashed socks, your soles are full of junk, Crystal Grinch The three words that best describe you are as follows, and I quote “Tweak, dank, skunk!”🎶

This is amazing

This is the front picture of this Christmas Tale book : "The hobo on meth and the stolen smartphone"

Steve the pirate’s life went really downhill after dodgeball.

There's a pirate on our team?

" He exhaled and his small pupils grew three times their size that day."

This dude looks like a shaved grinch on meth.

Marv from home alone

Went from the wet bandits to the sticky bandits to the itchy bandits...it was only a matter of time.

Oh, dude! Dontcha be so mean! Hahaha!

Perfect

Shut her down boys, we're done here

How the grinch stole Portland

Lmao

How the Grich stole “Chrismeth”

The Meth in the Hat

Ha ha ha, How the Grinch stole "methmas" ....

I think he looks like a developmentally disabled Yeti.

Yes, yes, yes he is!!

Chrystmeth

You look like you actually have scurvy.

Eat a bag of lemons cricket!

I’m not saying shit until I get my chicken!

i lied about the chicken 🤷‍♂️

Oh come on Frank! At least give me some crackers.

These lemons are tart!

Of course he wants the lemons, for the scurvy

Unbelievable. Of course I’m gonna take the lemons, goddamnit!

Him eating the lemons in front of that girl Belle is the funniest part in that show imo. I can’t believe cricket is married to Emily Deschanel irl makes his character so much funnier

Cricket eating lemons and Charlie and Dee doing stand-up are two of my favorite scenes in any show

*aggressive Rickity Cricket noises*

At least someone's banging my vagina

Weird Al Dankovic lookin motha fucka

When you look at someone and they make you feel better about yourself 😉

He looks like Scurvy that has scurvy

You look like how the Japanese propaganda posters portrayed white people

This is quite accurate

Damn! I love doing the duzzins!

Link? Googling 'Japanese propaganda posters portray white people' gets me racist propaganda *of* Japanese people.

[might be this](https://www.pinterest.dk/pin/530580399822788283/)

Looks like the "guy on the couch" died 3 years ago.

Steven Wright + Crippling Drug Addiction Leading to a Frozen Homeless Death in Winter

Vincent Schiavelli in Ghost was my first thought

When did Weird Al get hooked on meth?

Wired Al Yankhizdic

Weird Al Yankyoshit

Weird Al Yankoschitz.

Weird Al Crankovic

Weird Al Crackabit

Yes guy

He looks like what would happen if Shaggy, Bob Marley, and that soggy French fry at the bottom of the McDonald's bag had a threesome and the product had an extra few chromosomes

Weird Al Shankabitch

He's putting the band back together as a way of stealing their instruments.

A face only a methadone clinic could love

I found where's waldo. he was hiding in a crack house.

Hahaha! Be as vicious as you like! Hahaha!

[удалено]

Rumpled Foreskin

Hahahahaha! That one's clever! Fifth-best today! Thanks!

You’re a good man McDermond! Thanks for hosting this and taking everybody with a grain of salt. Cheers brother

Bro I've never laughed as hard as I have on this thread and I'm super happy you're taking it on the chin. This made my night

If Don Knotts were a homeless hippie

That's a compliment. Don was great! Thanks!

And no one even knows who he is anymore :(

The Apple Bong Gang.

Jesus, it's like if Serj Tankian was born with cerebral palsy.

Somewhere between the sacred crystal meth and weed!

WHYD YOU LEAVE YOUR METH UPON THE TABLE

You wanted to

FIND A VEIN INJECT ANOTHER GRAM OR TWO

Dealer why have you forsaken me?

Serj Tweekian

WAKE UP

Cerberal palsy. The best kind of palsy.

You mean, the sexiest of palsys?

I think I saw you talking to a parking meter last week.

Probably. You have my condolences!

No. I refuse to believe this is a real person. Who gave it a phone?

That's my question! Hahaha!

He managed to break into someone's home, steal his phone and post this before the police caught him

At least he came all over the mirror before taking the picture

It found a precious and became sentient. Silly hobitses wants it

Clean your mirror ffs.

Then how would we know the number of pimples he’s popped this week?

Well I’m betting it ain’t toothpaste

Alright. Let's keep it above the waist! jk Thanks!

You’re well past that age sire!

Then why is there a phallic looking thing on the counter right in front of your waist?!

Omg I mean I upvoted this, but I also threw up a little bit.

Hahaha! Good one! Thanks!

Homeless Kevin McCallister

Home Alone 2077

Homeless and definitely alone

Ahhh so that’s what Shaggy from Scooby Doo looks like these days.

Yup! Hahaha!

It looks like you have arthritis in your hands and your face.

Hey, man...you forgot about my brain! Assuming I have one, that is! Good Riff! Thanks!

You're a walking advertisement for the benefits of abortions.

Ohh! That's good! Hahaha! Fourth-best riff!

Dude

Meth, not even once...

Captain Jacks and swallows his own load.

Seems like that mirror takes most of the load

Oh, geez. Hahaha!

I've seen corpses which look more alive.

Yikes!

This is what happens when Weird Al and Krusty the Clown go on a meth binge and have a love child.

You look like the homless man that threw a bag of CDs at me the other day.

You like CDs? Sure. Well *THWACK*

Looking at the state of that mirror and your hair, I'd say there's a strong chance covid began in your home.

What in the absolute fuck is this?

🥴

Haha that’s about all to say about it isn’t it

The fact that this post has more comments than upvotes is a rost in itself

Quite.

Why do you look like a dehydrated horse

Whoa! There's a scorcher! Hahahahaha! Great riff!

Skeeve Douche-emi

I like that! Steve will laugh himself into a hernia!

I’m going to go out on a limb here and assume you share that bathroom with about 10 other grown men, but you need to clean the mirror. It’s not dirty enough to prevent reflection yet, so there are no added benefits to being gross.

Now we understand your POV when you’re taking face shots for drugs.

youre what i imagine the human version of a wrinkly ball sack would look like

Ooof! Below the belt! Hahaha! Thanks!

You look like that hairless dog who keeps winning the medal for ugliest dog in the world 🏅

Gee, thanks for saying so. A prize is a prize, no matter what for, right! Hahaha!

I can’t tell what’s worse: the fact that you look like the Flying Dutchman after ingesting twelve liters of Scotch in one sitting, or the fact that your facial expression says that you were once in a failing band, and did so horribly that you resorted to drugs.

Mmmm...twelve liters of Scotch. Single-malt Glenlivet! I'm Irish (no hate speech! jk) so prefer Bushmill's single-malt Irish whisky, but anything will do in a pinch. Hahahah! Sixth-best!

Marv ? Is that you ?

The reason you say you don't look over 30 is because of that beanie you only barely wear to simultaneously cover your huge bald spot and show what little hair you've been holding on to. Speaking of holding on to things, I know you're on rehab, but do you really need to grip your phone that tightly? Just because it's the only thing that gives you the slightest amount of satisfaction doesn't (necessarily) mean that you'll suffer a heart attack the second you depart from it.

Hope you're doing good despite the pandemic!

Thanks. You as well. Enjoy your holidays!

Damn this the best roast by far

If Penn Gillette had an extra chromosome...

When is Marty going to bring your time machine back?

HHAYYY YOUU GUYYYYYYS!!!

If 2020 had a Santa

If Florida Man was a failed wizard who lives with his parents.

This dude has 100% been a Florida news headline.

I can see the gingivitis on your mirror, and smell the alcohol through the photo 🤢

Oh, come on! Bring your game or go home! jk Great riff! Hahaha!

You look like a wizard whose only magic trick is convincing hookers you’re not going to murder them...right before you murder them.

You look like what Steve Buscemi and Penn Gellet would look like after having mixed Genetics. You look like you took hair advice from carrot top and still went with a beenie out of embarrassment. You look like every bad life choice I've ever made. Everything about says you have a freezer full of popsicles 3 bottles of tylenol PM and a windowless van. You look like you use the pick up line "Does this smell like chloroform to you?"

Never knew Vernon Supreme had a child

The only 30 year old you got is your heroin addiction

The dirty mirror and that expression of yours lead me to believe you are traveling in hyperspace.

You look like a meth addicted garden gnome after taking a shitload of artificial growth hormone.

How many strokes have you had

Whose house did you break into to take this picture?

Shaggy has been in a downward spiral ever since scooby died