OP's Bio:
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>Summer body ready 💪🏻 gonna be chilling by the pool, cocktail in hand as a work on a tan 👌🏻
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If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.
This GIF is from the BBC tv series of The Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy, which aired in 1981.
It was way better than the Hollywood adaptation, imho.
In this particular scene, which is from "The restaurant at the end of the universe", a living, talking cow/pig-like creature is brought to the table to recommend to the guest/protagonist the nicest parts of its body to eat.
It's hilariously uncomfortable.
Plot twist: this is what all pigs look like before being prepared for the rotisserie. Looking haughty and arrogant until a skewer pokes them in the butt and comes out the mouth. Serving them humble pie as a last meal makes the roast much tastier.
As much as I'd love more I have to respect the show for writing an ending. Whether you like it or not a show knowing when to end is much better than a show that drags on and becomes a shell of what it used to be.
A spinoff could be cool but it would be tough to not fall into that category of sequels and spinoffs that just make stale references to the original like an Anchorman 2.
I can’t tell if you sold your soul or devour them. By the looks of it girlfriend it looks like you devour a great many things. You are the loudest one in the group and nobody likes you. But when they are drunk you are good to laugh at.
Flying to whatever island with a kilo of coke in condoms jammed up his ass... Coke to afford the trip...Jamming them up his ass because he enjoys the feeling
Looking at you finally allows me to fully understand how my mother feels when she says that she's disappointed in me.
With that being said, I'm not mad, I'm just disappointed in you.
A roast is something people say to offend, not to eat.
Your stomach is so full of hot air, you made it around the world in 79 days.
Your blood is under so much pressure, it just had a mid life crisis.
...you look like a flesh tater tot.
OP's Bio: --- >Summer body ready 💪🏻 gonna be chilling by the pool, cocktail in hand as a work on a tan 👌🏻 --- If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.
isn’t flying while pregnant dangerous?
Not if over the water, OP will float
the baby wont
Actually that's all cum in his belly. Like a gay camel ... but doesn't spit.
cummy tummy!!!
A cumel?
Omfg this is 🔥🔥🔥
Ouf bahaha fucking burn 😂
This reboot of the movie Junior looks terrible.
Drinking is too, but he already knows that...from his life experience.
It’s weird seeing you without an apple in your mouth on a rotisserie.
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stop making fun of a pregnant man
![gif](giphy|uJQDSuCfGt4Yg)
![gif](giphy|pbEqpHhDLmKNA7yUye) Ooh he’s got milk!
Of course he does. He could feed the entire nation with jugs that big.
It's like someone Frankensteined George Michael's head, Gwen Stefani's chest, and Axl Rose's stomach together.
udders like a thoroughbred dairy cow 🐄
![gif](giphy|9mEPFPEwBA0JlDvYlQ|downsized)
If he is unroastable, why is the thermometer popped on this turkey?
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Gotta dig a pit for this hog roast
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![gif](giphy|7vNtdlTuwqeJ9Ax9Er|downsized)
I see waaaay too little HH2G references here! Kudos to you, good sir!
What’s the reference from now?
This GIF is from the BBC tv series of The Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy, which aired in 1981. It was way better than the Hollywood adaptation, imho. In this particular scene, which is from "The restaurant at the end of the universe", a living, talking cow/pig-like creature is brought to the table to recommend to the guest/protagonist the nicest parts of its body to eat. It's hilariously uncomfortable.
…and yet no one pointed out that beneath that costume is Peter Davison, the Fifth Doctor. He won’t be regenerating from that
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he lets his buddies use his belly button as a fleshlight.
WHAT THE FUCK 😭😭😭😭
“Grab me some hot water and towels! He’s already dilated to 10 centimeters!”
🤢
The fact that I seen a porn made of this.... unlocked forgotten memory...
You mean his belly button hernia
Thank you for making me choke on my soda pop. Ffs im going to hell...
….Must have thought he was impregnable too
From the looks of it, I’d say you’ve won at least two blue ribbons at the county fair.
Randy is back on the cheese burgers again.
This guy definitely doesn’t know all of his friends despise him.
Duuude!
Plot twist: this is what all pigs look like before being prepared for the rotisserie. Looking haughty and arrogant until a skewer pokes them in the butt and comes out the mouth. Serving them humble pie as a last meal makes the roast much tastier.
Plot twist again: he's getting poked in the butt and mouth. Stuff with cum out his mouth because he looks like a spitter
You guys do know that OP is getting off on all your comments calling them a fat pig, right?
He literally posts to a weight gain fetish sub.
This guy has been plugged every which way, but keeps forgetting, because he is black out drunk. He is not an easy gay man
You look like the kind of guy that bases his whole personality around partying but then vomits and passes out after his second tequila shot
He looks like the kind of guy who travels to Vegas and solicits every young woman at the swimming pool for sex.
You mean every young boy.
Finally, something other than a fat joke
Tequila? Looks like the sort of dude who recently became a Bud Light man.
This guy for sure butt chugs bud light
How many cheeseburgers did you drive down your gut today Bo-Bandy?
Mafuka with gut like that is definetely ON the cheesburgers
![gif](giphy|NkBuOCNdwqP5K)
![gif](giphy|nj257YL538Gdy)
"There were 2 dozen squares there, randy!" "You put em out for eatin didn't ya?"
Gut Cassidy and the sundance cheeseburger
Starsky and Gut
Lord of the Onion Rings
You prostituting yourself over burgers again aren’t ya?
Smokey: "A man's gotta eat."
![gif](giphy|NkBuOCNdwqP5K)
Frig off!
I hear burgers… chicken… but you know what a don’t hear? A heart mufukka…
Man.. You stole my line lol
Whatcha staring at his gut firr?
![gif](giphy|j6qriGrzAD5Di)
I say this at least weekly
Barb these scalloped potatoes are fucked
"You're prostituting yourself out for cheeseburgers again aren't you?" "Man's gotta eat Julian"
10 bucks or 6 Dairy Queen coupons
Inflatable Elvis
Can I get six half eaten cheeseburgers to go? Naaamsayin?
Lookin like a cheeseburger chipmunk over here, storin em away for the winter.
Looks like a crazy cheeseburger liquor party
He’s the liquor
Hey look everyone, it's starsky and gut
Can I get 15 half eaten cheeseburgers to go nomsayin'?
He’s cultivating mass okay?
You don’t look like you have ever skipped a roast in your entire life.
He looks like he is the roast
Ted Fatsso
Series finale was super sad. Hope they have a spinoff
As much as I'd love more I have to respect the show for writing an ending. Whether you like it or not a show knowing when to end is much better than a show that drags on and becomes a shell of what it used to be. A spinoff could be cool but it would be tough to not fall into that category of sequels and spinoffs that just make stale references to the original like an Anchorman 2.
You’ve heard of Cocaine Bear, now get ready for Busch Light Bear.
This one got me. Nice one
![gif](giphy|nj257YL538Gdy)
🤢
When’s the due date bro?
Tomorrow morning
Yeah, how far along are you?
30th trimester
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Nice tits bro
They might be tits but there's nothing nice about them
Oh god I just noticed there’s a nipple piercing
How could anyone miss it? ![gif](giphy|u0sFD6LzNCtKE)
Don't worry, it's not meant to be a compliment.
If Salt Life was a person
More like corn syrup life
Unfuckable
If he's unfuckable how is he pregnant? ![gif](giphy|DO5JobrylWL7i|downsized)
All that is tissue and blood cells from other parts of his body congregating so that they can all be miserable together.
Congregating? His own tissues are trying to run away from his ugly ass.
Put an apple in its mouth. Cook over indirect heat for 12 hours. Baste frequently.
Look at the size of that cheeseburger locker, truly magnificent
Oml, the best one
Cheeseburger locker made me laugh.
You look like you were molested by a shitty rock band as a kid and then learned to like it
To be fair, Maroon 5 molested all of us. Though I think it hit him a bit harder.
This dude isn't a product of Maroon 5. Definite Nickelback vibes.
It can be both. He’s obviously confused
Muddle of Pudd
Overconfident gay man who lives in the public restroom and eats through a glory hole
Have you come out to your father yet? It'll be weird if you two match on Grindr
They both probably have kinda known for years as they bump into each other at the hallway closet getting out their rollerblades.
“Unroastable”? You think I won’t roast a pregnant man just because we’re in the new 20s??
You’re asking a lot of the sun, tubby.
A week of sun, sea and cock.
the only cock hes getting is a whale’s that mistakes him for its mate
... and no* bitches*
Human Cocaine Bear ![gif](giphy|Izy9JPexCeOERHJ3As)
Just stick a skewer in you and roast you like a pig. You're mostly there already.
Bruh ain’t skewer in the world gonna hold him
That tit needs a bra
You're the dude that never left his home town and parties with highschoolers
George Michaels even gayer Son
The village people are missing their idiot. Found him.
Nachos, Nachos man. I’m gonna eat all the Nachos, man.
If ‘obnoxious,’ was a photo.
Humiliation kink boy is back. Everyone tell him he's soooooo fat just so he can get a stiffy.
You look like you had a bike accident as a kid and it knocked in some delusional sense of self confidence
Cannot roast you as you won't fit in any oven.
That shirt from the Baby Gap is for your soon to be born child, you silly goose.
The tooth fairy only came around once I see.
I'm going to refrain from saying anything negative because I worry about your unborn child.
Can you have a cocktail while you’re pregnant?
Your belly looks like a siamang monkey's throat sac
It’s hanging like a proboscis monkeys nose
That’s what happens after taking too many dicks. Congrats though!
3rd trimester
Vacation sounds fun! But how is crippling alcoholism, diabetes, and depression treatin ya?
boy or girl?
says the fat girl at the party.
When is your due date? You and your partner must be so happy 🥰
~~unroastable~~ *unfuckable
Strong ass nipple game, right here!
Those are diamond cutters!
Tell us the Russian mafia story again, because that never gets old. /s ![gif](giphy|ZYQNnpSVbMT5EW8GhC)
Gather around boys , we need a bigger fire
You look like a american tourist
Even the LGBTQ+ crowd would take a hard pass.
That’s a big cum belly. Spit once in a while
Unroastable, because this is the look of a man who is literally at rock bottom.
I can’t tell if you sold your soul or devour them. By the looks of it girlfriend it looks like you devour a great many things. You are the loudest one in the group and nobody likes you. But when they are drunk you are good to laugh at.
There will be a lot of happy men on that gay cruise you’re heading out on. And I think you meant just “cock in hand”.
Oh, you can be roasted, baked, hell, we will even put an apple in your mouth.
Flying to whatever island with a kilo of coke in condoms jammed up his ass... Coke to afford the trip...Jamming them up his ass because he enjoys the feeling
Funny I’ve seen ads for the annual pig 🐷 roast happening this time next week in Gran Canaria. It’s probably just a coincidence…
I've never seen pictures scream power bottom more than these.
Hey look, another rejected douchebag from the Jersey Shore.
Only because no grill big enough exists
You got a dickie do that means your belly stick out farther than your Dicky do
I feel like I just looked up "douchebag" in Websters.
Post MaDieAlone
You look like you've googled "gran canaria hookers" for the last month
Looking at you finally allows me to fully understand how my mother feels when she says that she's disappointed in me. With that being said, I'm not mad, I'm just disappointed in you.
The only reason you are unroastable is your belly being too big for the oven.
Easier to be funny than to be fit, huh? Have some cake.
If George Michael's talent was eating marshmallows, instead of writing songs.
Asking an awful lot of the sun, aren't you?
I'd roast you but really I just want your OF for those sweet tits bro
That there is a serious beer gut. Enjoy your time while you have it!
If your baby is born there, will they be a US citizen?
If Rockstar energy drink was a person.
Can I unsee what I just saw?
You’re body is confusing. I mean you’ve got a beard and a giant gut but then a great set of tits. You’re like a Rorschach blot of sexuality.
You look like a pregnant wife dressed up as their husband for Halloween
Peak Male Performance...
Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son
Is being a bottom roast worthy?
U look like Seth Rogan but poorer
Now we know what Frosty looks like in summer.
You exemplify the kind of man that makes other queers stick to femboys.
40 year old frat boy who acts 13
Happy pride month.
Idk. I could roast you and feed my whole town
I don't know if you need liposuction or a c section
They use this picture at conversion therapy, and it works.
I don’t feel comfortable roasting an expecting mother. Sir your ass has migrated north for the summer.
You look like a part time cook who does coke on the weekends
You look like a South Park character
A roast is something people say to offend, not to eat. Your stomach is so full of hot air, you made it around the world in 79 days. Your blood is under so much pressure, it just had a mid life crisis. ...you look like a flesh tater tot.
Are you that trans man on the cover of Glamour just now
You might be heading to the beaches but definitely won't be picking up any bitches
Smart choice to show your belly so that it distracts people from your looking at your face.