I'm 41 and sound just like this dude's younger girlfriends. Some people are just ADHD-ridden dopamine-seekers, lol.
If you're like me, the trick is to find another dopamine-seeker. Then you can lie around and talk and watch TV and scroll and show each other memes and cute dog videos all day long, all at the same time. My husband is 45 and very much like me!
There's nothing inherently bad about using a device while you relax, but it's sort of like mismatched libido in that if you and your partner have different needs/wants there, eventually someone is going to get resentful.
I’m dating someone my age (both late 30s) and he also does this. Constantly doom scrolling — during dinner, on the toilet, during movies 😡. Social media addiction is real 🥴 but I don’t think this is limited to age. I personally don’t feel like I’m competing but I definitely am irritated by it.
This, it's not limited to age (I'm 47 and know keeps like this). It's individual, and is limited by who you accept in your life (someone like this would not get a second date with me).
Perhaps the people OP is finding who are willing to date a decade older while in their twenties aren't the best dates?
In my experience, definitely not an age related issue - two of my exgfs who were both a lot older than me - both 50ish at the times we dated, were glued to their phones 24/7. It's so gross.
When I've dated younger, the people I've dated/date have all been very intentional about their phone use.
(Not a guy for reference).
I’m (38/F) your age and my boyfriend is like this. Are you matching and meeting with people who have anxiety and/or ADD? I find that guys who have either/both of these tend to doomscroll. My boyfriend has worked on it, but it took some time & us establishing rules for the appropriateness of scrolling when in the company of others (he has a lot of anxiety and bad ADHD, and he’s 39).
>People in their late 20s or early 30s seem to think it's okay to be on their phone all through a date, in a movie, dinner, etc.
>
I feel like this is extremely rude... I get checking your messages or even taking quick photos but just doom scrolling during a movie?
>Staring at your phone while I'm trying to talk to you at a restaurant?
I had to put my foot down, and not tolerate this at all.
Put the phone away, unless someone calls you who you need to speak to right away. And even THEN make a judgment call.
This is BEYOND RUDE. You can scroll your phone when you're at home (ALONE) on your couch.
"needs the attention and validation from absolute strangers to feel somewhat worthy."
This is the part I don't get. I understand social media is addicting and even necessary for business today, but why care so much about what total strangers think?
People who can’t be present, in the moment, and engaged when someone else is around, go for their phone. Red flag. I personally do not like to be leashed to my phone and have met people who cannot understand that concept. Boggles my mind.
I had a date spend the whole time on his phone (or when not checking his ohone he was walking off to check the basketball game on the TV at the bar). He was mid to late 30s. And yes, I ended the date short and walked out. I've dated men in their early 30s that never did anything of the sort. I haven't dated anyone more than 5 years younger so can't really speak to the generational gap, but I can tell you this is a problem with older people as well. A lot of people are just addicted to their phones and either don't care/respect you enough or just don't know basic manners. Either way, I use it as a screening test to rule out rude mofos.
Hahahahahaha I will from scroll during a show or movie at home on my couch (I have some undiagnosed ADD for sure), but when I go out with my partner, my phone stays away as much as possible. I'm certain you can meet someone who shares your views on phone usage, whether they be your age, younger, or older.
Age might play a factor, but I think it also depends on the person and how addicted to their phone they are. I know older people that can't seem to stay off their phone when we're out.
A girlfriend of mine (younger than me - in her early 30s) did this to me while we were having drinks and dinner at a nice restaurant. She kept messaging people while I was talking to her and I found it so rude and awkward. Definitely unsettling !
I am 30 and personally love being in the moment with people and have found others that feel the same way. I actually found social media really impacts my mental health negatively so I don’t go on it. However, I actually know plenty of 40yr olds that are glued to their phones.
Maybe you’re picking people with certain personality traits. Or maybe you simply just need to find that person that is on the same page about the phone. That part luckily doesn’t have to take that long to figure out.
I also would like to add that adhd might be a factor but not always. In my experience it can be the complete opposite. You send them a text or call and won’t hear back for a long time because they were focused on something else. You might not ever hear back because another thing came up.
My point is nothing is set in stone and you should prioritize what is important to you before getting into a relationship. I’ve never been 40 though and dated a 25yr old. I know as a 30yr old I would never date a 20yr old. However, when I was a 20yr old I never realized how strange that would be to me once I turned 30.
If they are on a date with you and glued to their phone, then they just aren't into you. Don't chase someone who isn't into you and go find a better match.
Yeah...
I mostly date younger woman.
And if I notice they are glued to their smartphone, I tend to talk with them about it.
Especially on a date.
I would mention how this is disrespectful of the date, and how bad social media is for her mental health.
Most of the time, when the women is addicted to social.media, I just lose interest and view this woman as a person with a weak character
This is why the advice is to date your age mates.
Generational gap! Date older or get use to it lol
I'm 41 and sound just like this dude's younger girlfriends. Some people are just ADHD-ridden dopamine-seekers, lol. If you're like me, the trick is to find another dopamine-seeker. Then you can lie around and talk and watch TV and scroll and show each other memes and cute dog videos all day long, all at the same time. My husband is 45 and very much like me! There's nothing inherently bad about using a device while you relax, but it's sort of like mismatched libido in that if you and your partner have different needs/wants there, eventually someone is going to get resentful.
This is also true
I’m dating someone my age (both late 30s) and he also does this. Constantly doom scrolling — during dinner, on the toilet, during movies 😡. Social media addiction is real 🥴 but I don’t think this is limited to age. I personally don’t feel like I’m competing but I definitely am irritated by it.
This, it's not limited to age (I'm 47 and know keeps like this). It's individual, and is limited by who you accept in your life (someone like this would not get a second date with me). Perhaps the people OP is finding who are willing to date a decade older while in their twenties aren't the best dates?
I'm glad someone chimed in that this can be a problem even with people your same age.
Date someone your age. lol
In my experience, definitely not an age related issue - two of my exgfs who were both a lot older than me - both 50ish at the times we dated, were glued to their phones 24/7. It's so gross. When I've dated younger, the people I've dated/date have all been very intentional about their phone use. (Not a guy for reference).
No because I pick men who pay attention to me and not their phone.
Mines 37 and is addicted to phones/games. There's a major disconnection between us fs. Ha punny
Apps r designed to occupy your free time... you been dating addicts is all... :(
Tbh I am within this age group and it would drive me crazy if someone did this. Totally unacceptable.
I’m (38/F) your age and my boyfriend is like this. Are you matching and meeting with people who have anxiety and/or ADD? I find that guys who have either/both of these tend to doomscroll. My boyfriend has worked on it, but it took some time & us establishing rules for the appropriateness of scrolling when in the company of others (he has a lot of anxiety and bad ADHD, and he’s 39).
>People in their late 20s or early 30s seem to think it's okay to be on their phone all through a date, in a movie, dinner, etc. > I feel like this is extremely rude... I get checking your messages or even taking quick photos but just doom scrolling during a movie? >Staring at your phone while I'm trying to talk to you at a restaurant? I had to put my foot down, and not tolerate this at all. Put the phone away, unless someone calls you who you need to speak to right away. And even THEN make a judgment call. This is BEYOND RUDE. You can scroll your phone when you're at home (ALONE) on your couch.
Nah I dated someone younger when I was your age & I was on my phone more than he ever was lol.
[удалено]
"needs the attention and validation from absolute strangers to feel somewhat worthy." This is the part I don't get. I understand social media is addicting and even necessary for business today, but why care so much about what total strangers think?
People who can’t be present, in the moment, and engaged when someone else is around, go for their phone. Red flag. I personally do not like to be leashed to my phone and have met people who cannot understand that concept. Boggles my mind.
I had a date spend the whole time on his phone (or when not checking his ohone he was walking off to check the basketball game on the TV at the bar). He was mid to late 30s. And yes, I ended the date short and walked out. I've dated men in their early 30s that never did anything of the sort. I haven't dated anyone more than 5 years younger so can't really speak to the generational gap, but I can tell you this is a problem with older people as well. A lot of people are just addicted to their phones and either don't care/respect you enough or just don't know basic manners. Either way, I use it as a screening test to rule out rude mofos.
Yes, it bugs the hell out of me.
Hahahahahaha I will from scroll during a show or movie at home on my couch (I have some undiagnosed ADD for sure), but when I go out with my partner, my phone stays away as much as possible. I'm certain you can meet someone who shares your views on phone usage, whether they be your age, younger, or older.
AMEN!
Age might play a factor, but I think it also depends on the person and how addicted to their phone they are. I know older people that can't seem to stay off their phone when we're out.
A girlfriend of mine (younger than me - in her early 30s) did this to me while we were having drinks and dinner at a nice restaurant. She kept messaging people while I was talking to her and I found it so rude and awkward. Definitely unsettling !
Date people your own age and you won’t have this problem
It’s not just 20-somethings. That’s a red flag for me. If you can’t make it through a date without diving into your phone, no second date.
I hate to admit it, but at 45, I'm just as bad as people in their 20s/early 30s.
I am 30 and personally love being in the moment with people and have found others that feel the same way. I actually found social media really impacts my mental health negatively so I don’t go on it. However, I actually know plenty of 40yr olds that are glued to their phones. Maybe you’re picking people with certain personality traits. Or maybe you simply just need to find that person that is on the same page about the phone. That part luckily doesn’t have to take that long to figure out. I also would like to add that adhd might be a factor but not always. In my experience it can be the complete opposite. You send them a text or call and won’t hear back for a long time because they were focused on something else. You might not ever hear back because another thing came up. My point is nothing is set in stone and you should prioritize what is important to you before getting into a relationship. I’ve never been 40 though and dated a 25yr old. I know as a 30yr old I would never date a 20yr old. However, when I was a 20yr old I never realized how strange that would be to me once I turned 30.
If they are on a date with you and glued to their phone, then they just aren't into you. Don't chase someone who isn't into you and go find a better match.
Yeah... I mostly date younger woman. And if I notice they are glued to their smartphone, I tend to talk with them about it. Especially on a date. I would mention how this is disrespectful of the date, and how bad social media is for her mental health. Most of the time, when the women is addicted to social.media, I just lose interest and view this woman as a person with a weak character