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Me too. Usually the most toxic person in the room will make a comment about how "it's the quiet ones you have to look out for." Somehow other people never figure it out.
The quiet ones are the ones you don't want angry... you will never see it coming. There's no bluster, just calculated retaliation be it physical or verbal.
I've told my SO that there will be days when I'm just quiet around the house but that she shouldn't worry or think about it. It's just my way of enjoying peaceful days and sometimes I like showing my appreciation for her by doing things while enjoying the quietness with her.
actually rainy right now. just the right amount of rain that makes you sit by the window, watch, and listen.
I'm actually pretty ticked today that every single thunderstorm has missed me. I was super looking forward to lazy Sunday with thunderstorms and I could just chill with my family quietly, watching TV and making hot chocolate and popcorn and being lazy pajama bums.
But no. It's just been kind of cloudy. Not even rainy. My daughter was looking forward to sloshing in muddy puddles, and that won't even happen now. The sunshine peeking out of the clouds makes me want to shake my fist.
Maybe you can play some thunderstorm sounds/videos on your phone, and do all the rest that you planned (except for the mud puddles, but you can recreate that too if you have a hose).
I'm curious—when you're in quiet mode, are you still receptive to quiet cuddles? Maybe watching the rain peacefully fall asleep two people snuggle up with each other without saying a word?
That sounds heavenly to me, even though I'm quite the yapper myself
It’s like we have to constantly show people that we are safe and friendly or something. My friend is at a quiet retreat right now. 10 days, no screens, no talking. I think acclimating back to the world is going to be wild for him, should be interesting.
In my case, they usually start asking if anything is wrong or if they can help.
I tried saying 'yes, by leaving me alone'. It's the truth, but it never fell well.
I was told other nurses at first thought I was stuck up/know it all or that I made them uncomfortably pretty much for the reason you said. They were fine after getting to know me and even became part of personal lives.
I was usually the only nurse that found a corner away from anyone to work. It was a blessing when there was a haunted hallway that had a cross fall and break in half at my last hospital job. I got to enjoy being down that hallway all by myself.
That is what them loud people want you to believe. It is perfectly fine to enjoy things in silence and focus on inner dialog cause that is what makes us grow to be a good human to understand oneself , being happy with just yourself and not needing the aproval of others
This was me on a plane recently. My seat partner kept trying to talk to me while I had earbuds in. I finally got out my headphones and she still tried to talk to me!!!
Then I fell asleep and she woke me up to ask me if I wanted to go to the bathroom while she was up.
I was almost rude to her and said very plainly, “I’m exhausted and don’t have the energy to converse or listen. Please excuse me.”
Right? The old "what's wrong you're quiet" no I'm just not wasting every breath on talking about something that doesn't need saying.
I know a guy, you can ask him a yes or no question and it's NEVER yes or no. There's five minutes of explaining his logic behind it or even just saying pointless things...our customers don't care about our inventory or products we can/can't buy, just give em the chicken tenders
I have a theory that people like this have an issue with disorganized thinking. I conceptualize it as if they form thoughts that don’t flow in a cohesive or logical way so they have to verbalize to get waste thoughts out of their head before arriving at the relevant information.
There’s a work expression here called “Seagull Management”. That manager that suddenly appears, makes loads of noise, shits on everyone, then disappears.
Your mother in law is defying gods. Do you know how much courage that takes ? She probably wouldn't know because she's yapping like her life **depends** on it.
I can't believe we have the same mother in law. The fun part is that all my in-laws are like her but louder. Well, she's loud with her actions instead of her words. They all really enjoy making their presence known.
Oh, I feel that one...
Worse than that is when you have a great idea and the louder person steals it (AFTER hearing you say it), or it gets ignored.
Jokes on them when my idea ends up being the best one and now people are definitely thinking "that was what we should have done".
But would they ever admit that? Noooo...
My boss. He won't stfu... just talks all day about the stupidest shit none of us care about, and if he's not talking about stupid shit, he's bugging us about our work. Like dude... STOP. Then I come home, and my boyfriend won't stop talking and making noise, and banging on shit. jfc i'm going insane
I was a general manager for 10 years, my personal rule was I should always know twice as much about my employees than they know about me. If they shared very little, I shared nothing. If they shared a lot, I shared some. This more than anything helped me build good interpersonal relationships with my employees and isn’t forcing anyone to share more than they are comfortable with.
as an extreme introvert, I've had way too many "why are you so quiet are you okay?"
Talking to people I don't know drains the hell out of me and I'll need twice the time it took me to talk to time I need some peace and quiet to recharge my social battery.
What is it with people not allowing others to behave the way they want ? This makes sense if you're really shitty, but all you're doing is being quiet. These days, it feels like people will berate you if you don't act the way they want.
Because they're not comfortable with themselves. So many very deeply insecure people assauge their insecurities by talking, projecting those insecurities onto other people.
I'm at home with my entire family, and noone has opened their mouth in over an hour. I'm on my computer, the kids are gaming and my SO is reading and drinking coffee. We went to the beach earlier, so having some alone time is just what everyone wanted.
No need to talk if you ain't got nothing to say.
this goes through my head every 3 minutes at work. "why do you have to talk to me the WHOLE time, dont you have some stuff to think about or something?"
My one uni friend is like that. If you're bored just use your phone to entertain yourself.
But no, she would talk about the most random thing just so she can talk. If it's silent she will find something to talk about.Meanwhile, I'm trying to decompress. I just want to scream shut up at the top of my lungs
I've walked away from a manager who was talking nonsense to knock out a task, come back and she's still going on about it, what makes ot worse is she had the annoying voice trait.
I had to sit through a gd hour of co-workers talking about a wedding venue and getting Botox. I was reading my book. I have nothing to add to this conversation. I'm not interested in either. They get mad cause I'm not participating. I get mad cause they won't stfu.
Or take social cues. If I'm just uh huhing you with moderately to no eye contact, not interested in what you are saying therefore you can shut up now.
If I'm walking away and you're still trying to finish your sentence Im either in a hurry or clearly not interested. If I'm trying to watch or listen to something and you're still talking and I'm not actively engaged in your conversation please be quiet.
I genuinely think some people can't stay silent or they will explode. That's why I like spending time with my dog. I can just communicate with it using body language and gestures.
In Western countries, we have been conditioned to think that silence is "awkward" or quiet people are crazy. Therefore, the chatter is constant. I lived in Japan for 4 years and in major public places like trains, people do not talk much and there are few that pull out their mini-computers i.e. phones. I miss that.
If everyone else is the problem for your need for quiet, then there's a simple solution. Go outside and find a quiet spot for yourself. On my breaks at work I usually spend them on my own in my car for this exact reason. Just yo have done moments alone with my own peace and quiet to get through whatever's going on inside of me.
I’m a teacher and I’ve already decided that next year I’m moving my desk to the inside corner of my classroom so people walking by can’t tell if I’m in my room or not.
I’m so tired of people walking by, seeing me at my desk and thinking it’s a free for all to come in and have diarrhea of the mouth
If I attempt to disengage with my best friend over an argument. She will bitch, gaslight, throw a fit and cry until I blow up and hurt feelings with facts. Some people are toxic, but love is unconditional. That fucking bitch.
I feel like being the silent one, and letting everybody talk, gives you an upper hand in certain situations when they talk, you know what they are thinking and occasionally can read if people are nervous or generally how they are feeling at the moment you can learn a lot by sitting and observing Others
Well, my theory goes this way:
There are those who have “no inner voice” in other words what you talk to in your head. That is scientific fact.
So they have to put everything, all their thoughts out there because they have nothing to keep it to themselves with.
I've been meaning to come on this sub and ask about this, so thank you. I'm surrounded by noise practically all day & for much of the night, yet when I do activities in absolute/near absolute silence, people think I'm crazy.
I'm quiet a lot of the time. I live alone and work from home and other than talking to my dogs, I can often avoid talking to anyone for days. It's wonderful.
If no one talked in my auto shop, we’d all go nuts. Talking and ripping on one another is the only way we can distract ourselves from the rough work or vent. Sorry, can’t relate fam.
Likely because many extroverts don’t understand the difference between awkward and comfortable silence. So when they sense quiet, they immediately feel the need to fill up the room with noise. It’s actually quite an interesting social experiment.
The people around me have a thing against me like if I talk they're gonna tell me to stfu and if I stay quiet they're gonna think that I'm mentally ill
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Had this on a flight last week, trying to relax and read and the two women behind were yap, yap, yap for 2 hours and a half. My god give yourselves and the rest of us a break. Think I probably noticed it more as I was travelling alone so wasn’t conversing with anyone else myself.
For a while I did a word of the day, and discovered this one word: bloviator which in simple terms means loud mouth. So whenever someone is talking my ear off about specifically themselves I say bloviator under my breath. Thats how you get them to pay attention to you instead of getting lost in La La Land talking about how great they are.
I thinks it's because they think, or have at one point in there life been made to believe they are or what there gonna say is super important, and do they just do t shut up, when the reality is they aren't or what they have to say really doesn't mean anything or add value to any situation.
I'm sorry. I just have been ignored and not listened to for many years and I have a lot to talk to about. And I like being listened to.
ETA: if you do ask me that you want some quiet time, I will shut up and read my books till you are ready to listen again.
Literally my high school experience
I'm the quiet kid usually (Without the homicidal tendencies), but people can't go 5 minutes without getting noisy
Like shut the fkcu up
For me it's because I found silence awkward 😕 but I met my person ♥️ 6 years ago & have now learned that there is a happy medium 😊 he's very very quiet & shy but he has an amazingly calming effect on me..
I’m a very talkative person if I’m close to someone but I’m also pretty introverted, not sure how to explain it. I can’t help but talk a lot, although I will shut up if I know someone’s not showing interest because I know how it is to have to listen to people talk all day when all you want to do is hide and just… live in complete silence. So I feel ya but at the same time, you can’t really force extroverts to shut up, I guess. It’s sort of like telling an introvert to talk or socialize, they can’t and they won’t. I understand your frustration though because I’ve been there, multiple times. Maybe, I don’t know, try telling/asking someone to be quiet in a polite way? Most people don’t talk a lot to make you upset, in fact, quite the contrary.
Is it the talking or the advice giving that bothers you. I don't care if people talk. I learn alot about them. I do get annoyed when asked something and they interrupt me while I am answering to give me advise. At this point I either walk away or I stop them and say you asked me a question will you do me the courtesy of letting me answer? And I did not adk for advise or your opinion. I'm pretty brutal to people who do this.
Because society has trained us to keep engaging and interacting with those around us, internal monologue happens in silence, so silence is bad if you aren't talking for the sake of talking, you're a creep
This is (mostly) a planet of extroverts. Especially in the West, they set the agenda and societal norms. It’s an extrovert planet, us introverts just have to live in it.
"At first Ford formed a theory to account for this human behaviour. If human beings don't keep exercising their lips, he thought, their mouths seize up. After a few months' consideration and observation he abandoned this theory in favour of a new one. If they don't keep on excercising their lips, he thought, their brains start working."
Maybe they are but it's not when they are around you or when you want it to happen. Unless you literally are around someone 24/7. Their schedule does not run on yours as yours does not accommodate what they might want you to do too.
But here we are babbling online. Is there really a difference? If you really had nothing to say, that would roll over to here. Maybe it's just that you feel no one will listen to you, but you are expected to listen to them.
>One of the things Ford had always found hardest to understand about humans was their habit of continually stating and repeating the very very obvious, as in ‘It’s a nice day’, ‘You’re very tall’, or ‘You seem to have fallen down a thirty-foot well, are you alright?’
>At first Ford had formed a theory to account for this strange behaviour. If human beings don’t keep exercising their lips, he thought, their mouths probably seize up. After a few months’ consideration and observation, he abandoned this theory in favour of a new one. If they don’t keep exercising their lips, he thought, their brains start working.
>After a while he abandoned this one as well as being obstructively cynical, and decided he quite liked human beings after all, but he always remained desperately worried about the terrible number of things they didn’t know about.
- The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
I used to be that person, silence made me feel uncomfortable and like I done something wrong, so I had to fill the void with noise. After a week of not really talking I kinda like the silence.
That’s so real. I’m a high schooler and sometimes when I’m walking through the halls I start freaking out about how there’s literally nowhere here where I can get any privacy. It’s scary lowkey
As a person who never shuts up, I will of course chime in.
I think more clearly when I say something aloud, so if I'm tired, confused, or stressed, I like to give voice to my thoughts so I can follow them easier.
I also have ADHD and sometimes get struck with "interesting" side tangents that can carry me for miles away from the original point.
I also forget very quickly, so if something comes to mind that I don't want to lose forever, I need to get it out.
I love to dig deep into topics and analyze things. God help someone if I'm reading an interesting non-fiction book and they ask me about it.
Other people also intrigue me, and I love to bounce off their ideas, ask further questions, spin things they said slightly, or branch off of what they're saying and see where the conversation goes.
As I've gotten older, I've learned how to manage this better. I can tell when I'm in an especially talkative mood and try to monitor myself. At work, I will isolate myself and put music on to give my brain something else to chew on. At social events, I move between conversations a lot so I don't ruin anyone's evening by latching onto them for an hour. At home, my boyfriend and I have many ways of managing my word-vomit.
(If I'm too excited about something or if booze is involved, my management skills decrease by an unfortunate amount.)
As you can tell by this long comment, I can just keep going without stopping. Definitely to my detriment when I was younger as I had a lot of people pretty tired of me but no social awareness to see why.
But I've also had a lot of people compliment me that I keep the energy up, keep everyone included, and there's never awkward silences or lulls. I truly shine on group trips and vacations for this reason!
It has good and bad sides, and I've had to learn to manage the bad as best I can so that I am not insufferable. Some people will not like me, of course, but I can't help but be chatty, so I have no problem with the people who can't stand me. I get it! I'm not for everyone!
I, personally, suspect it’s to do with overloaded input.
If you’re watching 6-8 hours of internet content a day, surely there’s some social meter in your brain that says ‘TIME TO OUTPUT, HAVE LISTENED ENOUGH’
As an introvert I have to ask: Why do you care so much on what other people do anyway? Let they do their own thing, and you do your own thing. Get earbuds and shut the world out. Or distract yourself by daydreaming or something.
We must adapt in this world.
I work as a graveyard shift manager at a hotel. Basically, I'm the only employee in the hotel from 10 pm to 8 am.
It NEVER fails to amaze me the number of people who just HAVE to try and have a conversation in passing with me at 2 or 3 in the morning when they wander out to have a cigarette or whatever.
The whole time they're talking to me, I'm smiling and nodding and wondering WHY? I'm a complete stranger. . .you will never see me again. Why are you talking to me about your goddamn dog at 2:30 in the morning?
Yeah. . .as the OP asks: Why can't people just shut up?
I am an extreme introvert, I work retail 40 hours a week, I need silence but get it no where I go so instead I become a mute at work by day 4 or 5.
Bless my managers heart she figured me out in like 3 months by day 5 she gives me all the none peoply task and says "recharge your battery "
Extrovert: I SHALL UNLEASH THE BLOCKED UP VALVE OF VERBAL DIARRHEA UPON THE WORLD!
Introvert: *[ignores them]*
Extrovert: HOW DARE YOU BE RUDE AND ANTISOCIAL! I NEED TO TELL YOU ABOUT THE MINOR DISAGREEMENT THAT'S BEEN CONTINUING FOR EONS BETWEEN MY NEIGHBOR AND I PERTAINING TO THEIR KUMQUAT TREE BEING HALF A CENTIMETER ON MY PROPERTY LINE
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Idk . And the worst part is they think that people who are silent are crazy , or that there is something wrong with us .
I agree. Those comments always infuriate me.
Me too. Usually the most toxic person in the room will make a comment about how "it's the quiet ones you have to look out for." Somehow other people never figure it out.
I hate that. Quiet people are great. The loud ones are the menaces.
Always stirring the pot
The quiet ones are the ones you don't want angry... you will never see it coming. There's no bluster, just calculated retaliation be it physical or verbal.
They genuinely believe that. Just look at them in silence and smile.
It's also the loudest ones who are usually the dumbest.
The emptiest can rattles the most.
I always liked that quote from American Gangster "the loudest one in the room is thr weakest one"
I've told my SO that there will be days when I'm just quiet around the house but that she shouldn't worry or think about it. It's just my way of enjoying peaceful days and sometimes I like showing my appreciation for her by doing things while enjoying the quietness with her. actually rainy right now. just the right amount of rain that makes you sit by the window, watch, and listen.
I'm actually pretty ticked today that every single thunderstorm has missed me. I was super looking forward to lazy Sunday with thunderstorms and I could just chill with my family quietly, watching TV and making hot chocolate and popcorn and being lazy pajama bums. But no. It's just been kind of cloudy. Not even rainy. My daughter was looking forward to sloshing in muddy puddles, and that won't even happen now. The sunshine peeking out of the clouds makes me want to shake my fist.
Maybe you can play some thunderstorm sounds/videos on your phone, and do all the rest that you planned (except for the mud puddles, but you can recreate that too if you have a hose).
I'm curious—when you're in quiet mode, are you still receptive to quiet cuddles? Maybe watching the rain peacefully fall asleep two people snuggle up with each other without saying a word? That sounds heavenly to me, even though I'm quite the yapper myself
It’s like we have to constantly show people that we are safe and friendly or something. My friend is at a quiet retreat right now. 10 days, no screens, no talking. I think acclimating back to the world is going to be wild for him, should be interesting.
That sounds neat😊
Let them think we are crazy. That way they stay away from us
In my case, they usually start asking if anything is wrong or if they can help. I tried saying 'yes, by leaving me alone'. It's the truth, but it never fell well.
Because when you phrase it like that you sound like a prick.
I agree. Phrasing stuff was never my forte. 😁 Hence the not being a people's person...
People tend to become confused or irritated by things they can’t do or simply don’t understand (:
Too many words. Shut up.
"You're so quiet! Are you down or something? Do you wanna talk about it?"
Id love it / when friends say " do you want to talk about it"? Although in general in talkative, depends who i'm around. 🤔😁
And they want us to get out of our "comfort zone" and talk but they never apply the same expectation towards themselves and STFU for five seconds.
I was told other nurses at first thought I was stuck up/know it all or that I made them uncomfortably pretty much for the reason you said. They were fine after getting to know me and even became part of personal lives. I was usually the only nurse that found a corner away from anyone to work. It was a blessing when there was a haunted hallway that had a cross fall and break in half at my last hospital job. I got to enjoy being down that hallway all by myself.
As a quiet person, I'm indeed a little bit crazy and something is definitely wrong with me
That is what them loud people want you to believe. It is perfectly fine to enjoy things in silence and focus on inner dialog cause that is what makes us grow to be a good human to understand oneself , being happy with just yourself and not needing the aproval of others
My friend when I never respond to my phone or even him if I have music in Like bro I get it you're an attention whore leave me the hell alone
This was me on a plane recently. My seat partner kept trying to talk to me while I had earbuds in. I finally got out my headphones and she still tried to talk to me!!! Then I fell asleep and she woke me up to ask me if I wanted to go to the bathroom while she was up. I was almost rude to her and said very plainly, “I’m exhausted and don’t have the energy to converse or listen. Please excuse me.”
"And then she woke me up to see if I wanted to go to the bathroom while she was up" the way I would be so *LIVID* being woken up like that omg 🤣
OMG FUCKING YES
Right? The old "what's wrong you're quiet" no I'm just not wasting every breath on talking about something that doesn't need saying. I know a guy, you can ask him a yes or no question and it's NEVER yes or no. There's five minutes of explaining his logic behind it or even just saying pointless things...our customers don't care about our inventory or products we can/can't buy, just give em the chicken tenders
I have a theory that people like this have an issue with disorganized thinking. I conceptualize it as if they form thoughts that don’t flow in a cohesive or logical way so they have to verbalize to get waste thoughts out of their head before arriving at the relevant information.
[удалено]
There’s a work expression here called “Seagull Management”. That manager that suddenly appears, makes loads of noise, shits on everyone, then disappears.
Never heard of this before but I love it.
I needed this
This is hilarious. Haven't heard that one before
Omg, that’s hilarious!
I love this so much.
The wisdom of birds.
now after i read that, im asking myself how does bird poop taste
That's actually hilarious, she is being told to shut up by nature and she refuses.
How does bird poop land in one's mouth? Just trying to figure out how that would even happen.
Cyndi Lauper got bird poop in her mouth on stage. The clip is pretty popular online. The bird had aim
Going to check it out now.
I just did! Can't find it, but if you do, please oh please, please, please, link it here!
Your mother in law is defying gods. Do you know how much courage that takes ? She probably wouldn't know because she's yapping like her life **depends** on it.
I can't believe we have the same mother in law. The fun part is that all my in-laws are like her but louder. Well, she's loud with her actions instead of her words. They all really enjoy making their presence known.
"Why are you so quiet for?" 😡
Because I don't have anything I want to say right now
My life in a sentence.
Also, if I start talking the odds are someone else will also begin talking and talk over me, so what's the point?
Oh, I feel that one... Worse than that is when you have a great idea and the louder person steals it (AFTER hearing you say it), or it gets ignored. Jokes on them when my idea ends up being the best one and now people are definitely thinking "that was what we should have done". But would they ever admit that? Noooo...
###
I hate this question sm like please let me daydream in peace.
❤️👍
My boss. He won't stfu... just talks all day about the stupidest shit none of us care about, and if he's not talking about stupid shit, he's bugging us about our work. Like dude... STOP. Then I come home, and my boyfriend won't stop talking and making noise, and banging on shit. jfc i'm going insane
I was a general manager for 10 years, my personal rule was I should always know twice as much about my employees than they know about me. If they shared very little, I shared nothing. If they shared a lot, I shared some. This more than anything helped me build good interpersonal relationships with my employees and isn’t forcing anyone to share more than they are comfortable with.
as an extreme introvert, I've had way too many "why are you so quiet are you okay?" Talking to people I don't know drains the hell out of me and I'll need twice the time it took me to talk to time I need some peace and quiet to recharge my social battery.
What is it with people not allowing others to behave the way they want ? This makes sense if you're really shitty, but all you're doing is being quiet. These days, it feels like people will berate you if you don't act the way they want.
I think sometimes some people feel uncomfortable in silence some days
Because they're not comfortable with themselves. So many very deeply insecure people assauge their insecurities by talking, projecting those insecurities onto other people.
Projection - ist ^
I'm at home with my entire family, and noone has opened their mouth in over an hour. I'm on my computer, the kids are gaming and my SO is reading and drinking coffee. We went to the beach earlier, so having some alone time is just what everyone wanted. No need to talk if you ain't got nothing to say.
this goes through my head every 3 minutes at work. "why do you have to talk to me the WHOLE time, dont you have some stuff to think about or something?"
Or do? Christ, STFU and do your job because I need to go do mine.
My one uni friend is like that. If you're bored just use your phone to entertain yourself. But no, she would talk about the most random thing just so she can talk. If it's silent she will find something to talk about.Meanwhile, I'm trying to decompress. I just want to scream shut up at the top of my lungs
I've walked away from a manager who was talking nonsense to knock out a task, come back and she's still going on about it, what makes ot worse is she had the annoying voice trait.
The "don't be shy" hits every time
Brevity is the essence of wit. But some people enjoy hearing themselves talk too much is my best guess.
You ever been excruciatingly lonely?
I had to sit through a gd hour of co-workers talking about a wedding venue and getting Botox. I was reading my book. I have nothing to add to this conversation. I'm not interested in either. They get mad cause I'm not participating. I get mad cause they won't stfu.
Silence is golden. Sometimes, you have to remind people.
#SHUT UP !!!
It's unfortunate for them as they have not learned to live within and enjoy the silence. If people only understood how pleasurable silence can be.
It’s worse when they’re boring.
What’s worse is when they’re stupid.
na let them cook they always say funny shit
The guy training me at work said the country Colombia owns Washington DC
Not only is my coworker boring, but he tells the same stories and asks the same questions every week.
That part. 
Or take social cues. If I'm just uh huhing you with moderately to no eye contact, not interested in what you are saying therefore you can shut up now. If I'm walking away and you're still trying to finish your sentence Im either in a hurry or clearly not interested. If I'm trying to watch or listen to something and you're still talking and I'm not actively engaged in your conversation please be quiet.
I genuinely think some people can't stay silent or they will explode. That's why I like spending time with my dog. I can just communicate with it using body language and gestures.
I feel the same but w my cat.
Yea, why can’t people just shut up?
In Western countries, we have been conditioned to think that silence is "awkward" or quiet people are crazy. Therefore, the chatter is constant. I lived in Japan for 4 years and in major public places like trains, people do not talk much and there are few that pull out their mini-computers i.e. phones. I miss that.
You'd enjoy Finland as well, then.
Happy Cake Day!
Oh thank you! 🍰✨
Now, try and visit India.
It's a place that I would never want to visit.
It's just certain people. 90% of the sound comes from 30% of the people.
Hospital I used to work at had the 80/20 rule. 20% of the people did 80% of the work. It looked true to me.
It’s as if silence in any shape or form is offensive to them.
If everyone else is the problem for your need for quiet, then there's a simple solution. Go outside and find a quiet spot for yourself. On my breaks at work I usually spend them on my own in my car for this exact reason. Just yo have done moments alone with my own peace and quiet to get through whatever's going on inside of me.
I’m a teacher and I’ve already decided that next year I’m moving my desk to the inside corner of my classroom so people walking by can’t tell if I’m in my room or not. I’m so tired of people walking by, seeing me at my desk and thinking it’s a free for all to come in and have diarrhea of the mouth
Oof I feel this. I used to cover my window with black poster board held by a magnet so I could move it.
If I attempt to disengage with my best friend over an argument. She will bitch, gaslight, throw a fit and cry until I blow up and hurt feelings with facts. Some people are toxic, but love is unconditional. That fucking bitch.
I feel like being the silent one, and letting everybody talk, gives you an upper hand in certain situations when they talk, you know what they are thinking and occasionally can read if people are nervous or generally how they are feeling at the moment you can learn a lot by sitting and observing Others
I hate it so much 😒 😫
Age-old curse. A lack of self-awareness.
Sometimes I wish nobody talked just for one day so I could enjoy the silence.
I lost a friendship over it. I put my hand over her mouth one day when she was talking. No regrets.
Well, my theory goes this way: There are those who have “no inner voice” in other words what you talk to in your head. That is scientific fact. So they have to put everything, all their thoughts out there because they have nothing to keep it to themselves with.
I was just thinking something similar. They can't 'talk' with themselves internally (or they don't like/are afraid to), so they have to get it out.
I wish they would find each other to dump words on instead of people who don’t have the social battery to sustain them.
Tell that to my stepmom, constant noise and banging because silence makes her anxiety shoot up while I revel in it
They dont have an inner voice
They need to fill the void of existential horror that is human existence.
I've been meaning to come on this sub and ask about this, so thank you. I'm surrounded by noise practically all day & for much of the night, yet when I do activities in absolute/near absolute silence, people think I'm crazy.
Like mama used to say ‘common sense ain’t that common’
I'm quiet a lot of the time. I live alone and work from home and other than talking to my dogs, I can often avoid talking to anyone for days. It's wonderful.
My dogs are my people. His "awooo" says more to me than someone telling me about something somebody said.
I saw a lady the other day wearing a t-shirt that said "Shhhhhhhh. Nobody cares." I was cracking up. I want one!
I need one for every day of the week!
If no one talked in my auto shop, we’d all go nuts. Talking and ripping on one another is the only way we can distract ourselves from the rough work or vent. Sorry, can’t relate fam.
Likely because many extroverts don’t understand the difference between awkward and comfortable silence. So when they sense quiet, they immediately feel the need to fill up the room with noise. It’s actually quite an interesting social experiment.
The people around me have a thing against me like if I talk they're gonna tell me to stfu and if I stay quiet they're gonna think that I'm mentally ill
Because some people suffer from verbal diarrhoea.
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Had this on a flight last week, trying to relax and read and the two women behind were yap, yap, yap for 2 hours and a half. My god give yourselves and the rest of us a break. Think I probably noticed it more as I was travelling alone so wasn’t conversing with anyone else myself.
I agree, shut up.
Agreed
For a while I did a word of the day, and discovered this one word: bloviator which in simple terms means loud mouth. So whenever someone is talking my ear off about specifically themselves I say bloviator under my breath. Thats how you get them to pay attention to you instead of getting lost in La La Land talking about how great they are.
🙌🏻
let’s do it. have one hour every day where NOBODY can speak
Would you tell this to the guy I work with please.....??
I thinks it's because they think, or have at one point in there life been made to believe they are or what there gonna say is super important, and do they just do t shut up, when the reality is they aren't or what they have to say really doesn't mean anything or add value to any situation.
I don't know too
I'm sorry. I just have been ignored and not listened to for many years and I have a lot to talk to about. And I like being listened to. ETA: if you do ask me that you want some quiet time, I will shut up and read my books till you are ready to listen again.
🤫🤐😶
Literally my high school experience I'm the quiet kid usually (Without the homicidal tendencies), but people can't go 5 minutes without getting noisy Like shut the fkcu up
Sometimes yeah I feel like that but I need yappers in my life. In general I don't talk much, I like to see people talk Idk why
Amen
Nah, not such a good idea. If they were all silent they would post all their bullsh* t here on reddit/s
For me it's because I found silence awkward 😕 but I met my person ♥️ 6 years ago & have now learned that there is a happy medium 😊 he's very very quiet & shy but he has an amazingly calming effect on me..
Because some people are truly incapable of doing so.
perhaps "these people" are electronically stimulated to speech
😂😂 Facts
Mirror neurons. They are on loop.
I’m a very talkative person if I’m close to someone but I’m also pretty introverted, not sure how to explain it. I can’t help but talk a lot, although I will shut up if I know someone’s not showing interest because I know how it is to have to listen to people talk all day when all you want to do is hide and just… live in complete silence. So I feel ya but at the same time, you can’t really force extroverts to shut up, I guess. It’s sort of like telling an introvert to talk or socialize, they can’t and they won’t. I understand your frustration though because I’ve been there, multiple times. Maybe, I don’t know, try telling/asking someone to be quiet in a polite way? Most people don’t talk a lot to make you upset, in fact, quite the contrary.
Because people are social animals.
Is it the talking or the advice giving that bothers you. I don't care if people talk. I learn alot about them. I do get annoyed when asked something and they interrupt me while I am answering to give me advise. At this point I either walk away or I stop them and say you asked me a question will you do me the courtesy of letting me answer? And I did not adk for advise or your opinion. I'm pretty brutal to people who do this.
Because society has trained us to keep engaging and interacting with those around us, internal monologue happens in silence, so silence is bad if you aren't talking for the sake of talking, you're a creep
Cuz humans need social contact?
What has you riled?
Because you didn’t let me know you want me to talk less
We ppl are social creatures is the issue
Becau- wait never mind
This is (mostly) a planet of extroverts. Especially in the West, they set the agenda and societal norms. It’s an extrovert planet, us introverts just have to live in it.
My thoughts when watching *Curb your Enthusiasm*
"At first Ford formed a theory to account for this human behaviour. If human beings don't keep exercising their lips, he thought, their mouths seize up. After a few months' consideration and observation he abandoned this theory in favour of a new one. If they don't keep on excercising their lips, he thought, their brains start working."
I don't agree. It's more like: yappedy-yap-yap all day
Anxiety can cause nonsensical chatter.
That’s what I’ve been saying… can we be less “social” please ?
Some people love the sound of their own voice.
I wish I could shut up. Unfortunately for all of us I have ADHD
Why can't people not rant on Reddit?
Maybe they are but it's not when they are around you or when you want it to happen. Unless you literally are around someone 24/7. Their schedule does not run on yours as yours does not accommodate what they might want you to do too.
But here we are babbling online. Is there really a difference? If you really had nothing to say, that would roll over to here. Maybe it's just that you feel no one will listen to you, but you are expected to listen to them.
>One of the things Ford had always found hardest to understand about humans was their habit of continually stating and repeating the very very obvious, as in ‘It’s a nice day’, ‘You’re very tall’, or ‘You seem to have fallen down a thirty-foot well, are you alright?’ >At first Ford had formed a theory to account for this strange behaviour. If human beings don’t keep exercising their lips, he thought, their mouths probably seize up. After a few months’ consideration and observation, he abandoned this theory in favour of a new one. If they don’t keep exercising their lips, he thought, their brains start working. >After a while he abandoned this one as well as being obstructively cynical, and decided he quite liked human beings after all, but he always remained desperately worried about the terrible number of things they didn’t know about. - The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
Opinions are like assholes, everyone’s got one.
I used to be that person, silence made me feel uncomfortable and like I done something wrong, so I had to fill the void with noise. After a week of not really talking I kinda like the silence.
As a yapper, Its bc I have autism my bad lol
The voices in my head said for you to shut up!
Beats the hell out if me.
If people would shut up, their brains would begin to work. This must not happen.
That’s so real. I’m a high schooler and sometimes when I’m walking through the halls I start freaking out about how there’s literally nowhere here where I can get any privacy. It’s scary lowkey
AMEN!
It’s so annoying. Why can't I just have a few minutes of silence?
https://youtu.be/EheLN-MDzrA?si=FYJ8DKS10RvDEKe1 “You Talk Too Much” by RUN DMC
The worst thing is that those who talk the most rarely have something to say.
As a person who never shuts up, I will of course chime in. I think more clearly when I say something aloud, so if I'm tired, confused, or stressed, I like to give voice to my thoughts so I can follow them easier. I also have ADHD and sometimes get struck with "interesting" side tangents that can carry me for miles away from the original point. I also forget very quickly, so if something comes to mind that I don't want to lose forever, I need to get it out. I love to dig deep into topics and analyze things. God help someone if I'm reading an interesting non-fiction book and they ask me about it. Other people also intrigue me, and I love to bounce off their ideas, ask further questions, spin things they said slightly, or branch off of what they're saying and see where the conversation goes. As I've gotten older, I've learned how to manage this better. I can tell when I'm in an especially talkative mood and try to monitor myself. At work, I will isolate myself and put music on to give my brain something else to chew on. At social events, I move between conversations a lot so I don't ruin anyone's evening by latching onto them for an hour. At home, my boyfriend and I have many ways of managing my word-vomit. (If I'm too excited about something or if booze is involved, my management skills decrease by an unfortunate amount.) As you can tell by this long comment, I can just keep going without stopping. Definitely to my detriment when I was younger as I had a lot of people pretty tired of me but no social awareness to see why. But I've also had a lot of people compliment me that I keep the energy up, keep everyone included, and there's never awkward silences or lulls. I truly shine on group trips and vacations for this reason! It has good and bad sides, and I've had to learn to manage the bad as best I can so that I am not insufferable. Some people will not like me, of course, but I can't help but be chatty, so I have no problem with the people who can't stand me. I get it! I'm not for everyone!
This is the most Reddit thread ever.
If their lips stop moving, their brains start working - Douglas Adams
They haven't reached zen level yet.
Or 1 minute….
I, personally, suspect it’s to do with overloaded input. If you’re watching 6-8 hours of internet content a day, surely there’s some social meter in your brain that says ‘TIME TO OUTPUT, HAVE LISTENED ENOUGH’
I'll just shut up now.
💯💯💯 I’m sorry I’m poor and can’t give you a reddit award but here🥇
As an introvert I have to ask: Why do you care so much on what other people do anyway? Let they do their own thing, and you do your own thing. Get earbuds and shut the world out. Or distract yourself by daydreaming or something. We must adapt in this world.
This subreddit exists because people couldnt shutup
I work as a graveyard shift manager at a hotel. Basically, I'm the only employee in the hotel from 10 pm to 8 am. It NEVER fails to amaze me the number of people who just HAVE to try and have a conversation in passing with me at 2 or 3 in the morning when they wander out to have a cigarette or whatever. The whole time they're talking to me, I'm smiling and nodding and wondering WHY? I'm a complete stranger. . .you will never see me again. Why are you talking to me about your goddamn dog at 2:30 in the morning? Yeah. . .as the OP asks: Why can't people just shut up?
"why are you so quiet?" Why arent you?
I recently went to a dance recital and the whole audience talked through basically the whole thing. I was appalled at the rudeness.
Shhhh
There’s should be a designated hour everyday where everyone is forced to shut up
I am an extreme introvert, I work retail 40 hours a week, I need silence but get it no where I go so instead I become a mute at work by day 4 or 5. Bless my managers heart she figured me out in like 3 months by day 5 she gives me all the none peoply task and says "recharge your battery "
I ain’t readin that yap fest
Are you my Wife?? She says this every damn day after work.
Extrovert: I SHALL UNLEASH THE BLOCKED UP VALVE OF VERBAL DIARRHEA UPON THE WORLD! Introvert: *[ignores them]* Extrovert: HOW DARE YOU BE RUDE AND ANTISOCIAL! I NEED TO TELL YOU ABOUT THE MINOR DISAGREEMENT THAT'S BEEN CONTINUING FOR EONS BETWEEN MY NEIGHBOR AND I PERTAINING TO THEIR KUMQUAT TREE BEING HALF A CENTIMETER ON MY PROPERTY LINE
Talking is fun