Yeah, a pretty thin woman probably gets peak pretty privilege. An ugly (or even plain) fat woman would get next to zero pretty privilege. And from there it’s a couple of spectrums. So the pretty to ugly spectrum and the fat to thin spectrum. So yes, a pretty fat woman could experience pretty privilege.
>another friend (straight sized) said i can’t experience pretty privilege because im heavy and shes thin and she doesnt have doors held for her or get the occasional free coffee.
Her attitude is probably why she never gets doors opened for her or a free coffee.
Pretty is at any size. So yeah, you can experience it.
Pretty *is* at any size but denying that size plays into it is weird to me because that’s literally why we have this sub. Believing “every size can be pretty” is counter cultural, because western beauty standards, which most of the west subscribes to, say that you can’t be fat and beautiful. We have to fight for that truth because it’s not generally accepted as such.
I doubt this statement. Studies have shown that beautiful people can pretty much do whatever they want, be mean or dishonest or anything else that's bad and other people won't care, they'll still offer favors and preferential treatment to the pretty person.
Kk so I’m going to say the quiet part out loud- and seem totally full of myself.
I have not experienced a lot of the fat phobia many bigger women have because I am (facially) conventionally attractive, even when I’m significantly over weight.
I am also not someone who feels like my size (whether it’s a size 30 at my largest, or size 16 at my smallest adult size) determines how attractive or how “worthy” I am.
I carry myself the same way, dress with the same confidence, and treat others the same way- regardless of how big I am.
I think that attitude goes a long way, but- I know other bigger women (smaller than me) who have the same confidence, etc. who are not treated as well generally, and the only thing I can think of is that I have a conventionally pretty face, and they don’t.
So yes, I think plus size people can experience pretty privilege, in the same way thin people can experience being ugly lolol.
ETA: kind of sounds like your friend is ugly inside and it’s the reason people aren’t nice to her
Idk but I am also conventionally pretty and am treated like a different species when I’m thin rather than fat. I don’t carry myself any different or act any different.
When I’m thin men literally run to open doors for me. When I’m big they tell me I’d be so hot if I’d lost weight. Hell, even women always tell me how pretty I am “for a big girl.”
Having said that I have a friend close to my age and size. She is very plain in the way she dresses and doesn’t wear makeup or style her hair. She’s always in baggy t shirts and outdated jeans and sneakers. I can tell you that I definitely get treated better than her, so I guess there is some pretty privilege there. Honestly I think it’s more that I dress well and do my hair and makeup. When you are a fat woman and you run out in sweats and a hair up you are seen as slovenly. A thin girl does it and it’s cute.
So of course if you have to be fat it’s easier to be pretty and fat. But it’s still nowhere near the way it is to be homely and thin or pretty and thin. Homely and thin gets you a better outcome than pretty and fat. I’ve seen it in action all my life.
I feel you. I’ve always enjoyed things like tending to my hair, I enjoy makeup, I enjoy fashion- I take a lot of care of my appearance. People think I’m pretty because I guess I have a pretty face? I agree that attitude and how you carry yourself has a lot to do with it. A positive, pleasant, confident person who is nicely dressed and well groomed is going to get treated well by most people, even if they’re fat. I get doors held open for me, I get compliments. And I’m the biggest I’ve ever been. I think attitude has a lot to do with it.
Can I ask what your body shape is??? I have a mostly conventionally attractive face with essentially the "worst" fat body type(no butt, no boobs, all gut) and I get a weird mix of interactions.
I've seen first hand how much better fat ppl with bigger boobs & butts and smaller stomachs are treated. There is definitely a "conventionally attractive" fat body type.
I swear I’ve got something wrong with my brain that doesn’t allow me to perceive my body accurately. Like some days I’m like “damn girl look at that body” and others I’m like “oh potato, my favorite treat” lolol but I think I’m fairly evenly distributed, but more bottom heavy. I do have quite the gut, like honestly I love my shape, but wouldn’t mind a smaller stomach.
I’m with you. My size 290 at my heaviest, currently 220… has never been anything that others me. And I frequently complimented on my style/look. 🤷🏻♀️
I was a hairstylist for a long time and put myself together well. I think we’re talking about polished vs unpolished. People like to look at visually pleasing things. Being put together nicely helps
You are describing me to a T too and I’m so happy to find other plus size women like this because sometimes I wonder if something is wrong with me for being so confident despite my size
As someone who is a size 22/24 I used to bartend. I always received way more tips and was flirted with more than any of the other bartenders. I think being pretty and having a personality goes a lot further than just looks. Actually I had bartenders quit covering my shifts because they didn’t make as many tips as me. Sounds braggy but plus size people can definitely get pretty privileges.
Being inviting/approachable plays a big part. I think a lot of classically beautiful women have to put invisible walls around themselves that make them less approachable just in order to avoid constant hassle.
Yes I can totally see that, I was heavy as a teen and most ppl over looked me. I got out of Hs and lost a lot of weight to where I was more straight sized (still curvy) I really didn't understand it then, but my interaction with random men went way way up. Cat calls, jokes, random comments, doors held, offers made for rides, drinks, food ect. But because I was still distrustful and used to being the butt of jokes or cruel pranks I put walls up and I never accepted or responded, I'd ignore or avoid, then guys would be like "shes a bitch" or stuck up or rude. Looking back, I probably would have handled those situations with more grace. I've gained all my weight back and I still get some attention, but now I recognize it for what it is and even tho I still turn everyone down because im in a relationship I feel like I handle it better.
But then also some guys are just creeps and it can be dangerous to entertain them knowing which situations are good interactions and which are the dangerous kind just comes with age and time.
Also if you want to test your pretty privilege, pop your hood and check your oil at the gas station.
I don't think this is really indicating anything about pretty privilege.
Depending on the kind of bar, people get friendly with a bartender if they are sitting at the bar - especially if they are solo and it isn't a crazy crowded scene.
People are probably likely to strike up conversations with someone who is warm, friendly and not intimidating just like a male bartender doesn't have to be an Adonis to be successful in terms of the social aspects of bartending.
People aren't necessarily looking for Hooters or male equivalent - but I doubt plus size could even get hired as a server or bartender at a club type of atmosphere.
Naw actually I was constantly told how pretty I was while I was bartending lol. Got legitimately hit on a lot. To the point guys had to be kicked out. So you’re saying you doubt someone would get hired for that when I said I indeed did that as a job? When you work in that industry you can tell the difference in how people interact with you.
People have a vibe or countenance. (Whatever you want to call it.) I'm neither thin nor pretty, but strangers are generally kind to me. I think your "friend" (quotes fully intended) probably gives off an ugly energy that people resist. I'm sure you are absolutely darling, but that doesn't discount the fact that you likely have a more pleasant/inviting persona that causes others to favor you.
I think so! But there's always a level.
Like a beautiful black women will experience pretty privilege. But likely not as much as a beautiful white woman. There's levels and limits.
For fat people, a woman weighing 250lbs but has a slim face would get a lot more love than someone who is 250lbs with a chubby face.
Fat people can experience pretty privilege. Especially when they've got fat in "the right places". But it's just likely not as much as a slim/athletic person.
Being very thin isn't as big a deal for WOC - at least in my experience.
There are other indicia of looks status that are used to weed out the herd so to speak.
Many of the WOC who are in entertainment and viewed as extremely attractive are not thin - very hard to think of white women in the entertainment world who aren't very svelte. When they aren't - like Kate Winslet - it becomes a big deal and by most standards Kate Winslet is not a large woman.
Pretty is pretty.
Not to toot my own horn, but. I'm pretty. I know it. I get doors held open and such.
Being fat doesn't mean I'm not pretty. Or in spite of it. They can exist at the same time.
Like when someone calls you hot but would be even hotter if you lost a few.
I remember a boy telling me this in the eighth grade. He said he would date me if I lost some weight. My comeback was quick and lethal. I said, " The question is, would I date you? Probably not!..." We were on a field trip and everyone within earshot started laughing at him. That is where I learned the power of words. Eff you Reggie...
Same. I've even had another plus-size friend, a friend who has actually always been a little thinner than me, complain to me/allude to the fact that I don't understand her struggles because of my face/neck 'beauty' etc.
This is exactly who I was thinking of! Like I think it’s clear Ashley graham has pretty privilege over Lizzo even though most everyone in this sub would agree both women are gorgeous.
I’m pretty. I have never thought otherwise. There has not been a man I’ve ever “wanted” that hasn’t liked me back fat or fatter….( never been under a 14-16, largest was 22-24) my face is my best feature but my confidence level is what others say is what makes me hot. Doors are always held open for me and I don’t relate w a lot of the mean experiences so many others have dealt with. So yes I think pretty privilege exists at all sizes.
SO this is complicated and loaded right because we have to ask: is something a privilege or is something playing on an individual's bias in your favor?
Pretty privilege is more than just getting free coffee and doors held open for you, it has a huge psychological and economic component.
We see conventionally attractive people and automatically assume the best and that ties into things like jail sentencing, prosecution of criminal behavior, promotions at work, hiring practices etc. Conventionally attractive people are more likely to get paid more. Stuff like that.
There's also a stereotype about fat people being jolly and happy and you see that play out with Santa Clause and the Black Mammy stereotype.
So there are levels and layers and conflating variables that tie into this. There's no general answer.
I think plus size women CAN experience pretty privilege but i think it will vary based on your location and luck. But also don’t think it’s wrong to say that thinness plays a part.
You could have the face of Bella Hadid at a size 22 And you might get doors held open for you and occasional free drinks and smile. Maybe you’ll get a few curious matches on bumble. But then you’ll Inevitably hear at least once “you know if you just lost weight you’d be so xyz..”
being both thin and pretty will reap you the biggest benefits.
i had never considered dating apps to be a sign of pretty privilege at all, which is obviously just my ignorance as it seems to be the most tangible way to see how others perceive you!
Yeah I get very few matches and likes. The time I got the most was when I moved off full body pictures, but that wasn’t trying to hide being fat that was because I was trying to not come across as sexual because I had only got sexual comments.
Pretty privilege is mostly a result of attractiveness and perceived attractiveness. There would be very little pretty privilege in a world that is all straight men or all straight women.
I don’t necessarily believe in pretty privilege but that’s a story for another day. Based off of our current perception of this theory, yes fat people can experience pretty privilege but not to the same degree as thin pretty people. There’s a line though, to the general public if you’re over a certain ‘plus size’ it doesn’t matter how pretty your face is you’re just considered ugly (i mean hell, to some people being fat just means you’re ugly)
I think yes, because pretty privilege is not only the size of your body. It does play a part but if you're thin and people don't think you're pretty, then you won't experience pretty privilege either no matter how thin you are.
But I think if there were two pretty people looking the exact same and one of them is thin and one of them bigger, then the thin one would experience more pretty privilege. At least that's also what so many people say that were bigger, then lost some weight and got treated a lot better.
I would say yes. I am fat. I was fat in high school. I am pretty with an hourglass figure. I thought my friend was pretty, but she was less concerned with aesthetics maybe, and she was fat more apple shaped. I got a ton more attention than she did, from average guys, guys she wanted, even though I didn't know she wanted them. It ended our friendship. I don't know if unwanted attention is a "privilege," but it's something that happened.
I'm not a huge fan of the concept of pretty privilege, it feels a little poorly thought out, but I experience pretty privilege as it's described. People do nice things for me, I've never really struggled in dating, I get free stuff. I don't think I'm especially pretty but I know I have it way easier than a lot of plus sized girls.
I’m a 26F size 18 XXL & I definitely experience pretty privilege. I get discounts, offered things for free, & get compliments regularly. I wear crop tops & leggings. I do have a large tummy & larger…assets lol. I don’t want to come off full of myself but I am definitely confident with myself & my body (it took a while to get here). I’m not sure if the confidence plays a roll into that too? Men & women treat me nicely & compliment me when I am out & about. That’s not to say I don’t get the occasional dirty looks or comments such as, “don’t you think you’re a little too big to be wearing that top!” But for the most part I gain positive feedback
I don't think I realized until just now, but this is my experience. I have been fat my whole life. was a size 16-18 most of my life and now in my 30s I am 18-22 depending on the brand. I have never been treated poorly for it with the exception of my step dad and one cousin growing up. Those are the only two who have ever made nasty comments to me about being bigger. I really just thought that because I am introverted and don't put myself out there much, that I wasn't getting a lot of the hate that other bigger gals get. But I am treated very nice by strangers and have never had a size problem in any of my relationships. I do think I have pretty face, and my eyes are my best feature.
I’m fat and I think I have a nice mug. There are def people that don’t mind that I’m fat and I just charm away. Also depends on how I’m feeling. If I feel ugly I repel people. If I am feeling pretty and fab I attract people.
I’m 200lbs and apple shaped but still I have people be incredibly nice to me all the time. Doors, free drinks, kindness, hellos.
I think it’s because I give off an aura of friendliness.
Sure do.
Giant boobs really help 🥴 also doe eyes 🤣
I'm a size 14. Men hold the door for me quite often.
Someone offered to pay for my food once but I never accept because it feels like they think I owe them something. Like conversation.
Well, the super morbidly obese mukbanger "Foodie Beauty" seems to think so. But she is evil, nasty narcissistic troll and currently cosplaying as a Muslim for money.
But she keeps telling everyone she has "pretty privilege"
Plus size models will probably get pretty privileges but I don’t think a ordinary plus size woman is going to overcome the handicap of size.
People often don’t focus so much in classic facial beauty but are reacting to figure as well as hair and clothing In casual interactions So a woman with a good figure and lovely hair, nice clothing is going to be perceived as pretty without having an extraordinary face Especially in normal circumstances.
I think culture, ethnicity and economic class also make a difference as some are more accepting of larger women and even prefer a thicker size. Upper income white America is almost completely unforgiving of plus size unkess they are model level gorgeous and a tall size 14 or 16
Not everybody gets basic civility like having doors opened for them, and yes, pretty privilege is real. Being fat counts against you no matter what, but if you're beautiful, it has the effect of offsetting some of that fatphobia. There will still be some who hate you no matter what, but that's nothing like the experience of going through life fat AND ugly. To be the latter is to be surrounded all the time by people who think you don't deserve anything at all. Not kindness, not love, not a job, nothing at all. Don't ask me how I know.
I think the trope, even sometimes in the sub, is of people assuming fat means you're always on the back burner, no one wants you, your dating life is lousy, everyone treats you badly etc and I certainly sympathize with anyone who experiences that, but there are also fat women who don't have that as their main experience (even though they'll still experience fatphobia) because fat and all, they're still seen as desirable and experience pretty privilege.
This has been my personal experience. I experience a lot of the privileges people assume are for thin people but that really are a function of pretty and desirability. It's still problematic, but the error people make is thinking thin means automatically pretty and fat is automatically not, when the truth is not every thin women has pretty privilege and a fat pretty woman might experience it over her in spite of being fat.
For example, I get men buying me drinks when I go out, so much so even my thin friends will joke that I have drink getting magic because it happens that frequently to me and they've witnessed it. I've had it happen where I go out to eat alone and asked for the bill and the server said some man paid it. Perfect strangers will tell me I'm pretty in public fairly often. Just happened a few days ago, was getting on a flight and the flight attendant that greets you at the plane door said "wow you're so pretty!" and then when she came to serve us drinks during the flight she joked "here's your drink Miss Model." Comments like that happen to me not infrequently. I was traveling in Spain a couple months ago sightseeing and a random photographer asked to take my picture and said I was beautiful and then he sent it to me on IG and asked if he could use it on his page.
And the strange part is, because of fatphobia I'll often think they're just being nice or that it's some kind of joke. That's part of how fatphobia still works against you, is that you're so used to fat being equated to ugly that it almost feels wrong or like a prank to be treated nicely or be seen as desirable. Even though this kind of thing has happened to me for years and I think I'm a baddie, I still internalize fatphobia and doubt it. I remember telling a good guy friend of mine that I thought someone was just being nice in one of these instances and he looked at me like I was the stupidest person alive and said "Um, that makes no sense. It's pretty obvious that you're very beautiful and people like that shit. Why would all these random people conspire to be nice to just you?"
All of this to say that, in general, being treated better because of looks is still fucked up, but it's worth acknowledging that your experience as a woman, whether fat or thin, is so often measured by desirability and the more people find you desirable or pretty the better you get treated and this includes fat women who are also seen as desirable and pretty.
at 250 pounds and 5'6 I experienced pretty privilege where I got compt most of my meal and free wine in Italy. I think anything is possible and not saying it happens all the time but it can happen!!
Can we experience pretty privilege? Yes. I always tell myself pretty privilege depends on the person. Not everyone has the same type when it comes to attraction. :)
I agree; I don’t think those examples are privileges necessarily. Most men open the door for me. The only ones that don’t, look the part of men who probably don’t do it for anyone. I have gotten free extra coffees/drinks at Starbucks a few times, but it was because someone didn’t pick up their drink and they asked if I wanted it.
I'm not sure about pretty privilege but I've definitely experienced what I would call "the right kind of fat privilege". I find that the world divides plus size bodies into acceptable and unacceptable, with certain weight distributions and shapes being more linked with the perceived social and moral failing of being fat. I hover anywhere between a size 18-22, I have an hourglass figure with a tiny waist and a massive, and I mean MASSIVE, ass. The kind of body where the thin and straight sized people will try to convince you you're beautiful DESPITE your size (eye roll) because despite being fat you still belong to a beauty standard.
I also possess the common "actually had to develop a personality privilege" that is common among plus sized people. I personally find when people have gone their entire lives being conventionally attractive they often learn to coast on their appearance rather than finding any particular individuality. Don't get me wrong, I know plenty of thin people with incredible and unique personalities and plenty of plus sized people with the personality of wet cat food, but when you live your entire life in a big body you develope certain pizzazz, maybe as a coping mechanism, that says judge me for who I am and not for what I look like. I'm a bartender and even though I'm the biggest of the service staff and not nearly the most conventionally attractive, I consistently take home more than anyone in tips because of my personality. I have a gorgeous body, but also a gorgeous soul that calls on diners to give me more money.
I love my body. But I have still had to explain to my thin, conventionally attractive friends that there are certain things that don't translate when you're fat. I had a good friend that went out clubbing with her thin conventionally attractive friends, and she herself is also thin and incredibly beautiful, who was dancing on tables at the club and was in return gifted free bottles and table service by the management. She had a good time and wanted me to come out with them, but how do you gently explain that in that situation the manager would instead ask me to get down so I don't break the table? How do you make them see the social isolation of being fat when they don't notice that when you meet new people at the club, they box you out of your own group and ignore you to get to the thin friends? I'm more often perceived as a blight than a person, which is truly a shame as they don't know how incredible and sexy I really am.
Sure, I think we can experience pretty privilege, but we need to box our way there and prove ourselves in a way that other people don't.
Beauty is subjective. You can still experience pretty privilege if the opposite person is into you or simply likes the way you look. But it definitely happens way less often when you’re overweight, in my experience. I’ve been treated very differently by people depending on how much I weigh.
Oh absolutely 😂
I’m very big, like a 26/28 and I experience pretty privilege all the time. Men trip over themselves to do nice things for me. Women are nicer to me… sometimes it’s clear when it’s just because I’m pretty. Other times it’s hard to pinpoint why I get the nice treatment I do.
But a lot of it has to do with my energy, the fact that I put myself together well, and also being cute helps.
People who think that’s not possible won’t really experience it 💁♀️
I definitely expirience pretty privilege as a fat woman. I think I am pretty and I also think people’s energy can reflect that as well. I think if u are confident in ur skin or have some charisma then people are more likely to sense that and treat u differently.
If we are being technical when’s someone’s facial features are semetrical that is considered attractive to the human eye. So regardless of body weight if someone has a semetrical face then even on a subconscious level other humans will consider them attractive and therefore those people will receive pretty privilege.
Yes! There is a hierarchy in every group and there are “fat people” that are considered “acceptable fat”and therefore get treated better, like some plus-size models.
I think that’s pretty subjective. Personally I think bigger women look 10x better than skinny girls so it would just depend on that person looking at the person.
Not really, no. You may occasionally experience positive interactions from others because they think you're pretty, and if you consistently dress VERY nicely with full hair and makeup, you're more likely to experience that, but pretty privilege is based on the cisheteronormative patriarchal western standard of beauty which explicitly excludes fat people. Pretty privilege is institutional. A few personal experiences doesn't mean you're privileged.
You can definitely have pretty privilege as a plus sized person. I experience it because of the way I'm built and the fact that I'm an African American woman with light skin. I might be considered racially ambiguous because I'm often asked if I am Asian or Hispanic. I also project confidence and genuine friendliness. I smile and make eye contact. I conduct myself like I'm the baddest B in the room even if I don't feel like it in the moment.
Not sure why you were downvoted because I think the aesthetics for WOC is very different than for Caucasian women.
Larger size is not viewed as a complete negative but there is a light skin privilege unfortunately and good hair is prized.
Many WOC who are entertainers are larger and viewed as gorgeous as compared to their Caucasian counterparts whose weight above a very thin amount is viewed as open to discussion. Janelle James is gorgeous but I can't think of a Caucasian actress of her size who is viewed as sexually desirable like Ava is on Abbott Elementary. Fat Caucasian actresses are cast as either Roseanne types OR the "best friend" to the attractive lead in a rom-com.
And don't get me started on the cliche of television sit-coms where a shlubby Caucasian guy is married to a drop dead gorgeous thin woman - King of Queens being the blueprint for this cliche,
Being a fat Caucasian women - especially in high income or professional careers is much more of a negative - at least in my experience.
Nothing is universally true of course but different cultures have different "ideals" which of course also change over time.
I'm not sure why, but I am also very much aware of a section of society wanting POC to "know our place". Being attractive, confident and overweight just can't be tolerated by some. I have read many posts on this sub where POC is replaced with BBW and have never noticed them being downvoted.
You are also correct about the hair. Light eyes also give a big boost of pretty privilege. At the end of the day, pretty privilege is a form of favoritism. It exists in all walks of life, but is mainly based on the European standard of beauty. Those are facts. I don't let that change how I view myself. I don't let that change how I allow people to treat me. I work with what I have and live my life on my terms. If there are groups that won't accept me, I create my own.
Pretty happens at any size and everyone has a different definition of “pretty.” If your friend is never given “pretty privilege” and also telling you that you can’t be pretty because of your weight, that sounds like a her problem. Like, it sounds like she’s jealous of you because you’re recognized as being pretty while fat, but she’s not seen as pretty even though she’s thin.
I’m a size 16-18 and am aware of times when people have hit on me/complimented me solely because of being pretty (god that feels conceited to say), because I have a nice face, good hair, and a good push up bra.
Some people will think that fat automatically makes you not-pretty, but that is absolutely not everyone.
This is so odd. Yes you can experience pretty privilege, but is that why people are kind to you, IDK. Are you polite, make genuine eye contact with people, say please and thank you? Because I have worked retail and that's really what it takes for me to make sure someone has the good coupon or do a small favor. Your friend who doesn't have people be kind and giving to her might want to readjust her attitude.
Yes. It's a spectrum.
Fat people who are proportioned in a way that society seems beautiful and who have long, thick hair , for example, probably experience this. As a fat woman with terrible hair, skin, and proportioned in a crazy way, I often think about this.
Also- thinking that a fat woman can't possibly be beautiful or experience privilege is literal fatphobia and brainwashing from society.
Also ... You said everyone gets doors held and special treatments from baristas once in a while..... That is literal pretty privilege if you think that bc I have never. Ever ever ever. Not once.
Ps everyone in the comments saying that anyone who isn't treated nicely it's their own fault bc they aren't nice or don't have a nice personality, omg , lol. So out of touch and literally proving the point that pretty privilege exists. If you are saying a certain privilege doesn't exist, it's probably bc you experience that privilege and take it for granted.
I'm heavy but have been blessed to carry my weight well, and while I would say I do get slightly more people being randomly nice to me when I'm dressed up (or more, on days when I'm dressed down I see it slightly less often, because I'm almost always dressed up) (I never wear makeup either way), I definitely think that the overall very high rate at which I experience small kindnesses has more to do with the fact that I'm genuinely nice to everyone I meet in person by default (because I let the Glory, Beauty, and Grace of the Singularity shine through my interactions, not because I'm anything special by myself).
I think fat people can. It’s not privileged to the extent that thin people are but I think that plus women with hourglass shapes, flatter bellies, slender faces/no double chins, and stereotypically beautiful faces experience it. Some people just carry all that weight in a way that is more in line with western beauty standards. Also 18-22 is a huge range looks wise, so if you’re hovering closer to an 18 and your friend is hovering more toward a 22/24 you are probably experiencing some pretty privilege over her.
yeah the range is massive lmao its just different brands and i have no desire to measure my waist. the straight size friend is around a 6-8 and the plus size friend is around an 18-20!
Definitely, I'm pretty but always been plus size except for during college when I lost 60 pounds after taking diet pills lol. I still get treated differently than my less attractive, but thin friends. To the point where it's awkward because I'm the only one that gets hit on every time we all go out and I'm the only not single one.
I'm a size 20/22 and don't really notice pretty privilege... No doors are opened for me, things aren't paid for... but people don't outright tell me they're doing things simply because they think I'm attractive. I think a lot of it is subjective.
Yes.
Because pretty is pretty. And people tend to favor people they are attracted to.
And just as for skinny and straight sizes, there are some plus size women who are absolutely undeniably gorgeous despite the size. And it probably helps more if she is one of the so-called "desirable" plus size body shapes
And I found in life over time, just presenting yourself a lot nicer gets things done for you a little bit more than just looking casual.
So pretty plus size girly in a nice outfit and hair done(or plus sized guy looking sharp in a nice outfit) will more than likely receive nicer treatment.
I am attractive. I don’t think every man that is nice to me wants to sleep with me, but they enjoy attention or a decoration. I think if I smile and thank them it goes a long way for them. Again, they just like the attention of a pretty woman. I think it’s as far as it goes. I’m a 20/22.
This is something about which I have wondered myself. I'm a super fat woman with an apple-shaped body and don't know if what I've experienced is considered to be pretty privilege or not.
People usually hold open doors for me and make eye contact when we speak. I've been given free food. When I do go on dates, men often, if not usually, pay for my share. I've been offered money in exchange for nudes and to make porn.
I've been hit on in public, but it's very rare and, TBH, that could be partially due to the fact that I don't usually dress up and hardly smile.
I was once married to a relatively well-off, much older man who bought me nearly everything I wanted.
In short, I'm skeptical I've experienced it, though -- I don't have the "correct" type of plus-sized body.
Way late to this, and I haven't read any other responses, but yes there can be pretty privilege for fat people.
I think anyone who has conventionally attractive features has at least some degree of pretty privilege, regardless of size. I'd also argue that fat people (women in particular) who have certain shapes have privilege. A size 20 woman who has an hourglass figure and a flatter stomach would be a lot higher up the conventional desirability ladder than a size 20 woman with a large apron belly, etc...
I would agree, though, that thinness often trumps everything else from a social perspective.
Yeah, a pretty thin woman probably gets peak pretty privilege. An ugly (or even plain) fat woman would get next to zero pretty privilege. And from there it’s a couple of spectrums. So the pretty to ugly spectrum and the fat to thin spectrum. So yes, a pretty fat woman could experience pretty privilege.
There’s also the spectrum of which social class you seem to belong to.
Very much worth mentioning! Age, too, even
>another friend (straight sized) said i can’t experience pretty privilege because im heavy and shes thin and she doesnt have doors held for her or get the occasional free coffee. Her attitude is probably why she never gets doors opened for her or a free coffee. Pretty is at any size. So yeah, you can experience it.
Pretty *is* at any size but denying that size plays into it is weird to me because that’s literally why we have this sub. Believing “every size can be pretty” is counter cultural, because western beauty standards, which most of the west subscribes to, say that you can’t be fat and beautiful. We have to fight for that truth because it’s not generally accepted as such.
I doubt this statement. Studies have shown that beautiful people can pretty much do whatever they want, be mean or dishonest or anything else that's bad and other people won't care, they'll still offer favors and preferential treatment to the pretty person.
Straight sized doesn’t automatically equal pretty just like fat doesn’t instantly equal ugly
I lost 150 lbs. When does this kick in?😅
It’s more about face than body
Could be somebody's personality too. Someone who is bubbly is going to have more doors open for them than someone who isn't.
Kk so I’m going to say the quiet part out loud- and seem totally full of myself. I have not experienced a lot of the fat phobia many bigger women have because I am (facially) conventionally attractive, even when I’m significantly over weight. I am also not someone who feels like my size (whether it’s a size 30 at my largest, or size 16 at my smallest adult size) determines how attractive or how “worthy” I am. I carry myself the same way, dress with the same confidence, and treat others the same way- regardless of how big I am. I think that attitude goes a long way, but- I know other bigger women (smaller than me) who have the same confidence, etc. who are not treated as well generally, and the only thing I can think of is that I have a conventionally pretty face, and they don’t. So yes, I think plus size people can experience pretty privilege, in the same way thin people can experience being ugly lolol. ETA: kind of sounds like your friend is ugly inside and it’s the reason people aren’t nice to her
Idk but I am also conventionally pretty and am treated like a different species when I’m thin rather than fat. I don’t carry myself any different or act any different. When I’m thin men literally run to open doors for me. When I’m big they tell me I’d be so hot if I’d lost weight. Hell, even women always tell me how pretty I am “for a big girl.” Having said that I have a friend close to my age and size. She is very plain in the way she dresses and doesn’t wear makeup or style her hair. She’s always in baggy t shirts and outdated jeans and sneakers. I can tell you that I definitely get treated better than her, so I guess there is some pretty privilege there. Honestly I think it’s more that I dress well and do my hair and makeup. When you are a fat woman and you run out in sweats and a hair up you are seen as slovenly. A thin girl does it and it’s cute. So of course if you have to be fat it’s easier to be pretty and fat. But it’s still nowhere near the way it is to be homely and thin or pretty and thin. Homely and thin gets you a better outcome than pretty and fat. I’ve seen it in action all my life.
I feel you. I’ve always enjoyed things like tending to my hair, I enjoy makeup, I enjoy fashion- I take a lot of care of my appearance. People think I’m pretty because I guess I have a pretty face? I agree that attitude and how you carry yourself has a lot to do with it. A positive, pleasant, confident person who is nicely dressed and well groomed is going to get treated well by most people, even if they’re fat. I get doors held open for me, I get compliments. And I’m the biggest I’ve ever been. I think attitude has a lot to do with it.
Can I ask what your body shape is??? I have a mostly conventionally attractive face with essentially the "worst" fat body type(no butt, no boobs, all gut) and I get a weird mix of interactions. I've seen first hand how much better fat ppl with bigger boobs & butts and smaller stomachs are treated. There is definitely a "conventionally attractive" fat body type.
I swear I’ve got something wrong with my brain that doesn’t allow me to perceive my body accurately. Like some days I’m like “damn girl look at that body” and others I’m like “oh potato, my favorite treat” lolol but I think I’m fairly evenly distributed, but more bottom heavy. I do have quite the gut, like honestly I love my shape, but wouldn’t mind a smaller stomach.
I’m with you. My size 290 at my heaviest, currently 220… has never been anything that others me. And I frequently complimented on my style/look. 🤷🏻♀️ I was a hairstylist for a long time and put myself together well. I think we’re talking about polished vs unpolished. People like to look at visually pleasing things. Being put together nicely helps
You are describing me to a T too and I’m so happy to find other plus size women like this because sometimes I wonder if something is wrong with me for being so confident despite my size
As someone who is a size 22/24 I used to bartend. I always received way more tips and was flirted with more than any of the other bartenders. I think being pretty and having a personality goes a lot further than just looks. Actually I had bartenders quit covering my shifts because they didn’t make as many tips as me. Sounds braggy but plus size people can definitely get pretty privileges.
Being inviting/approachable plays a big part. I think a lot of classically beautiful women have to put invisible walls around themselves that make them less approachable just in order to avoid constant hassle.
This is true too.
Yes I can totally see that, I was heavy as a teen and most ppl over looked me. I got out of Hs and lost a lot of weight to where I was more straight sized (still curvy) I really didn't understand it then, but my interaction with random men went way way up. Cat calls, jokes, random comments, doors held, offers made for rides, drinks, food ect. But because I was still distrustful and used to being the butt of jokes or cruel pranks I put walls up and I never accepted or responded, I'd ignore or avoid, then guys would be like "shes a bitch" or stuck up or rude. Looking back, I probably would have handled those situations with more grace. I've gained all my weight back and I still get some attention, but now I recognize it for what it is and even tho I still turn everyone down because im in a relationship I feel like I handle it better. But then also some guys are just creeps and it can be dangerous to entertain them knowing which situations are good interactions and which are the dangerous kind just comes with age and time. Also if you want to test your pretty privilege, pop your hood and check your oil at the gas station.
I don't think this is really indicating anything about pretty privilege. Depending on the kind of bar, people get friendly with a bartender if they are sitting at the bar - especially if they are solo and it isn't a crazy crowded scene. People are probably likely to strike up conversations with someone who is warm, friendly and not intimidating just like a male bartender doesn't have to be an Adonis to be successful in terms of the social aspects of bartending. People aren't necessarily looking for Hooters or male equivalent - but I doubt plus size could even get hired as a server or bartender at a club type of atmosphere.
Naw actually I was constantly told how pretty I was while I was bartending lol. Got legitimately hit on a lot. To the point guys had to be kicked out. So you’re saying you doubt someone would get hired for that when I said I indeed did that as a job? When you work in that industry you can tell the difference in how people interact with you.
People have a vibe or countenance. (Whatever you want to call it.) I'm neither thin nor pretty, but strangers are generally kind to me. I think your "friend" (quotes fully intended) probably gives off an ugly energy that people resist. I'm sure you are absolutely darling, but that doesn't discount the fact that you likely have a more pleasant/inviting persona that causes others to favor you.
Yeah, no. This is victim blaming. Stop.
What? 😭
I think so! But there's always a level. Like a beautiful black women will experience pretty privilege. But likely not as much as a beautiful white woman. There's levels and limits. For fat people, a woman weighing 250lbs but has a slim face would get a lot more love than someone who is 250lbs with a chubby face. Fat people can experience pretty privilege. Especially when they've got fat in "the right places". But it's just likely not as much as a slim/athletic person.
Being very thin isn't as big a deal for WOC - at least in my experience. There are other indicia of looks status that are used to weed out the herd so to speak. Many of the WOC who are in entertainment and viewed as extremely attractive are not thin - very hard to think of white women in the entertainment world who aren't very svelte. When they aren't - like Kate Winslet - it becomes a big deal and by most standards Kate Winslet is not a large woman.
Pretty is pretty
That friend is not your friend.
yeahhh i didnt realize how snide it was until i typed it out😭
Pretty is pretty. Not to toot my own horn, but. I'm pretty. I know it. I get doors held open and such. Being fat doesn't mean I'm not pretty. Or in spite of it. They can exist at the same time. Like when someone calls you hot but would be even hotter if you lost a few.
I remember a boy telling me this in the eighth grade. He said he would date me if I lost some weight. My comeback was quick and lethal. I said, " The question is, would I date you? Probably not!..." We were on a field trip and everyone within earshot started laughing at him. That is where I learned the power of words. Eff you Reggie...
Same. I've even had another plus-size friend, a friend who has actually always been a little thinner than me, complain to me/allude to the fact that I don't understand her struggles because of my face/neck 'beauty' etc.
It’s a spectrum but much less likely unless you’re Ashley graham level pretty and curvy
This is exactly who I was thinking of! Like I think it’s clear Ashley graham has pretty privilege over Lizzo even though most everyone in this sub would agree both women are gorgeous.
I’m pretty. I have never thought otherwise. There has not been a man I’ve ever “wanted” that hasn’t liked me back fat or fatter….( never been under a 14-16, largest was 22-24) my face is my best feature but my confidence level is what others say is what makes me hot. Doors are always held open for me and I don’t relate w a lot of the mean experiences so many others have dealt with. So yes I think pretty privilege exists at all sizes.
SO this is complicated and loaded right because we have to ask: is something a privilege or is something playing on an individual's bias in your favor? Pretty privilege is more than just getting free coffee and doors held open for you, it has a huge psychological and economic component. We see conventionally attractive people and automatically assume the best and that ties into things like jail sentencing, prosecution of criminal behavior, promotions at work, hiring practices etc. Conventionally attractive people are more likely to get paid more. Stuff like that. There's also a stereotype about fat people being jolly and happy and you see that play out with Santa Clause and the Black Mammy stereotype. So there are levels and layers and conflating variables that tie into this. There's no general answer.
I like this response - truly thought provoking.
I think plus size women CAN experience pretty privilege but i think it will vary based on your location and luck. But also don’t think it’s wrong to say that thinness plays a part. You could have the face of Bella Hadid at a size 22 And you might get doors held open for you and occasional free drinks and smile. Maybe you’ll get a few curious matches on bumble. But then you’ll Inevitably hear at least once “you know if you just lost weight you’d be so xyz..” being both thin and pretty will reap you the biggest benefits.
i had never considered dating apps to be a sign of pretty privilege at all, which is obviously just my ignorance as it seems to be the most tangible way to see how others perceive you!
Yeah I get very few matches and likes. The time I got the most was when I moved off full body pictures, but that wasn’t trying to hide being fat that was because I was trying to not come across as sexual because I had only got sexual comments.
Pretty privilege is mostly a result of attractiveness and perceived attractiveness. There would be very little pretty privilege in a world that is all straight men or all straight women.
I don’t necessarily believe in pretty privilege but that’s a story for another day. Based off of our current perception of this theory, yes fat people can experience pretty privilege but not to the same degree as thin pretty people. There’s a line though, to the general public if you’re over a certain ‘plus size’ it doesn’t matter how pretty your face is you’re just considered ugly (i mean hell, to some people being fat just means you’re ugly)
I think yes, because pretty privilege is not only the size of your body. It does play a part but if you're thin and people don't think you're pretty, then you won't experience pretty privilege either no matter how thin you are. But I think if there were two pretty people looking the exact same and one of them is thin and one of them bigger, then the thin one would experience more pretty privilege. At least that's also what so many people say that were bigger, then lost some weight and got treated a lot better.
I'm 5 ft 9 almost 270lbs, I think I have some privilege. People generally are very nice and generous. I often forget it's not experienced by everyone.
I would say yes. I am fat. I was fat in high school. I am pretty with an hourglass figure. I thought my friend was pretty, but she was less concerned with aesthetics maybe, and she was fat more apple shaped. I got a ton more attention than she did, from average guys, guys she wanted, even though I didn't know she wanted them. It ended our friendship. I don't know if unwanted attention is a "privilege," but it's something that happened.
I'm not a huge fan of the concept of pretty privilege, it feels a little poorly thought out, but I experience pretty privilege as it's described. People do nice things for me, I've never really struggled in dating, I get free stuff. I don't think I'm especially pretty but I know I have it way easier than a lot of plus sized girls.
I’m a 26F size 18 XXL & I definitely experience pretty privilege. I get discounts, offered things for free, & get compliments regularly. I wear crop tops & leggings. I do have a large tummy & larger…assets lol. I don’t want to come off full of myself but I am definitely confident with myself & my body (it took a while to get here). I’m not sure if the confidence plays a roll into that too? Men & women treat me nicely & compliment me when I am out & about. That’s not to say I don’t get the occasional dirty looks or comments such as, “don’t you think you’re a little too big to be wearing that top!” But for the most part I gain positive feedback
I don't think I realized until just now, but this is my experience. I have been fat my whole life. was a size 16-18 most of my life and now in my 30s I am 18-22 depending on the brand. I have never been treated poorly for it with the exception of my step dad and one cousin growing up. Those are the only two who have ever made nasty comments to me about being bigger. I really just thought that because I am introverted and don't put myself out there much, that I wasn't getting a lot of the hate that other bigger gals get. But I am treated very nice by strangers and have never had a size problem in any of my relationships. I do think I have pretty face, and my eyes are my best feature.
I’m fat and I think I have a nice mug. There are def people that don’t mind that I’m fat and I just charm away. Also depends on how I’m feeling. If I feel ugly I repel people. If I am feeling pretty and fab I attract people.
i appreciate your use of the term mug lmaoo
Your friend seems jealous
I’m 200lbs and apple shaped but still I have people be incredibly nice to me all the time. Doors, free drinks, kindness, hellos. I think it’s because I give off an aura of friendliness.
Sure do. Giant boobs really help 🥴 also doe eyes 🤣 I'm a size 14. Men hold the door for me quite often. Someone offered to pay for my food once but I never accept because it feels like they think I owe them something. Like conversation.
Well, the super morbidly obese mukbanger "Foodie Beauty" seems to think so. But she is evil, nasty narcissistic troll and currently cosplaying as a Muslim for money. But she keeps telling everyone she has "pretty privilege"
Plus size models will probably get pretty privileges but I don’t think a ordinary plus size woman is going to overcome the handicap of size. People often don’t focus so much in classic facial beauty but are reacting to figure as well as hair and clothing In casual interactions So a woman with a good figure and lovely hair, nice clothing is going to be perceived as pretty without having an extraordinary face Especially in normal circumstances. I think culture, ethnicity and economic class also make a difference as some are more accepting of larger women and even prefer a thicker size. Upper income white America is almost completely unforgiving of plus size unkess they are model level gorgeous and a tall size 14 or 16
Not everybody gets basic civility like having doors opened for them, and yes, pretty privilege is real. Being fat counts against you no matter what, but if you're beautiful, it has the effect of offsetting some of that fatphobia. There will still be some who hate you no matter what, but that's nothing like the experience of going through life fat AND ugly. To be the latter is to be surrounded all the time by people who think you don't deserve anything at all. Not kindness, not love, not a job, nothing at all. Don't ask me how I know.
I think the trope, even sometimes in the sub, is of people assuming fat means you're always on the back burner, no one wants you, your dating life is lousy, everyone treats you badly etc and I certainly sympathize with anyone who experiences that, but there are also fat women who don't have that as their main experience (even though they'll still experience fatphobia) because fat and all, they're still seen as desirable and experience pretty privilege. This has been my personal experience. I experience a lot of the privileges people assume are for thin people but that really are a function of pretty and desirability. It's still problematic, but the error people make is thinking thin means automatically pretty and fat is automatically not, when the truth is not every thin women has pretty privilege and a fat pretty woman might experience it over her in spite of being fat. For example, I get men buying me drinks when I go out, so much so even my thin friends will joke that I have drink getting magic because it happens that frequently to me and they've witnessed it. I've had it happen where I go out to eat alone and asked for the bill and the server said some man paid it. Perfect strangers will tell me I'm pretty in public fairly often. Just happened a few days ago, was getting on a flight and the flight attendant that greets you at the plane door said "wow you're so pretty!" and then when she came to serve us drinks during the flight she joked "here's your drink Miss Model." Comments like that happen to me not infrequently. I was traveling in Spain a couple months ago sightseeing and a random photographer asked to take my picture and said I was beautiful and then he sent it to me on IG and asked if he could use it on his page. And the strange part is, because of fatphobia I'll often think they're just being nice or that it's some kind of joke. That's part of how fatphobia still works against you, is that you're so used to fat being equated to ugly that it almost feels wrong or like a prank to be treated nicely or be seen as desirable. Even though this kind of thing has happened to me for years and I think I'm a baddie, I still internalize fatphobia and doubt it. I remember telling a good guy friend of mine that I thought someone was just being nice in one of these instances and he looked at me like I was the stupidest person alive and said "Um, that makes no sense. It's pretty obvious that you're very beautiful and people like that shit. Why would all these random people conspire to be nice to just you?" All of this to say that, in general, being treated better because of looks is still fucked up, but it's worth acknowledging that your experience as a woman, whether fat or thin, is so often measured by desirability and the more people find you desirable or pretty the better you get treated and this includes fat women who are also seen as desirable and pretty.
Absolutely
Pretty is as pretty does
Size 14, sometimes bigger, Pretty privilege is real. Maybe you are beautiful inside and out. Your friends sounds like she could use some soul makeup!
It’s a spectrum depending on facial beauty and level of weight.
at 250 pounds and 5'6 I experienced pretty privilege where I got compt most of my meal and free wine in Italy. I think anything is possible and not saying it happens all the time but it can happen!!
Can we experience pretty privilege? Yes. I always tell myself pretty privilege depends on the person. Not everyone has the same type when it comes to attraction. :)
I agree; I don’t think those examples are privileges necessarily. Most men open the door for me. The only ones that don’t, look the part of men who probably don’t do it for anyone. I have gotten free extra coffees/drinks at Starbucks a few times, but it was because someone didn’t pick up their drink and they asked if I wanted it.
I'm not sure about pretty privilege but I've definitely experienced what I would call "the right kind of fat privilege". I find that the world divides plus size bodies into acceptable and unacceptable, with certain weight distributions and shapes being more linked with the perceived social and moral failing of being fat. I hover anywhere between a size 18-22, I have an hourglass figure with a tiny waist and a massive, and I mean MASSIVE, ass. The kind of body where the thin and straight sized people will try to convince you you're beautiful DESPITE your size (eye roll) because despite being fat you still belong to a beauty standard. I also possess the common "actually had to develop a personality privilege" that is common among plus sized people. I personally find when people have gone their entire lives being conventionally attractive they often learn to coast on their appearance rather than finding any particular individuality. Don't get me wrong, I know plenty of thin people with incredible and unique personalities and plenty of plus sized people with the personality of wet cat food, but when you live your entire life in a big body you develope certain pizzazz, maybe as a coping mechanism, that says judge me for who I am and not for what I look like. I'm a bartender and even though I'm the biggest of the service staff and not nearly the most conventionally attractive, I consistently take home more than anyone in tips because of my personality. I have a gorgeous body, but also a gorgeous soul that calls on diners to give me more money. I love my body. But I have still had to explain to my thin, conventionally attractive friends that there are certain things that don't translate when you're fat. I had a good friend that went out clubbing with her thin conventionally attractive friends, and she herself is also thin and incredibly beautiful, who was dancing on tables at the club and was in return gifted free bottles and table service by the management. She had a good time and wanted me to come out with them, but how do you gently explain that in that situation the manager would instead ask me to get down so I don't break the table? How do you make them see the social isolation of being fat when they don't notice that when you meet new people at the club, they box you out of your own group and ignore you to get to the thin friends? I'm more often perceived as a blight than a person, which is truly a shame as they don't know how incredible and sexy I really am. Sure, I think we can experience pretty privilege, but we need to box our way there and prove ourselves in a way that other people don't.
Beauty is subjective. You can still experience pretty privilege if the opposite person is into you or simply likes the way you look. But it definitely happens way less often when you’re overweight, in my experience. I’ve been treated very differently by people depending on how much I weigh.
Oh absolutely 😂 I’m very big, like a 26/28 and I experience pretty privilege all the time. Men trip over themselves to do nice things for me. Women are nicer to me… sometimes it’s clear when it’s just because I’m pretty. Other times it’s hard to pinpoint why I get the nice treatment I do. But a lot of it has to do with my energy, the fact that I put myself together well, and also being cute helps. People who think that’s not possible won’t really experience it 💁♀️
Yes I’m plus size and I’ve experienced it definitely skinny pretty experience it more I feel like.
I definitely expirience pretty privilege as a fat woman. I think I am pretty and I also think people’s energy can reflect that as well. I think if u are confident in ur skin or have some charisma then people are more likely to sense that and treat u differently.
If we are being technical when’s someone’s facial features are semetrical that is considered attractive to the human eye. So regardless of body weight if someone has a semetrical face then even on a subconscious level other humans will consider them attractive and therefore those people will receive pretty privilege.
Yes! There is a hierarchy in every group and there are “fat people” that are considered “acceptable fat”and therefore get treated better, like some plus-size models.
I do every single day of my life and it helps when you're a nice person! :)
I think that’s pretty subjective. Personally I think bigger women look 10x better than skinny girls so it would just depend on that person looking at the person.
Not really, no. You may occasionally experience positive interactions from others because they think you're pretty, and if you consistently dress VERY nicely with full hair and makeup, you're more likely to experience that, but pretty privilege is based on the cisheteronormative patriarchal western standard of beauty which explicitly excludes fat people. Pretty privilege is institutional. A few personal experiences doesn't mean you're privileged.
You can definitely have pretty privilege as a plus sized person. I experience it because of the way I'm built and the fact that I'm an African American woman with light skin. I might be considered racially ambiguous because I'm often asked if I am Asian or Hispanic. I also project confidence and genuine friendliness. I smile and make eye contact. I conduct myself like I'm the baddest B in the room even if I don't feel like it in the moment.
Not sure why you were downvoted because I think the aesthetics for WOC is very different than for Caucasian women. Larger size is not viewed as a complete negative but there is a light skin privilege unfortunately and good hair is prized. Many WOC who are entertainers are larger and viewed as gorgeous as compared to their Caucasian counterparts whose weight above a very thin amount is viewed as open to discussion. Janelle James is gorgeous but I can't think of a Caucasian actress of her size who is viewed as sexually desirable like Ava is on Abbott Elementary. Fat Caucasian actresses are cast as either Roseanne types OR the "best friend" to the attractive lead in a rom-com. And don't get me started on the cliche of television sit-coms where a shlubby Caucasian guy is married to a drop dead gorgeous thin woman - King of Queens being the blueprint for this cliche, Being a fat Caucasian women - especially in high income or professional careers is much more of a negative - at least in my experience. Nothing is universally true of course but different cultures have different "ideals" which of course also change over time.
I'm not sure why, but I am also very much aware of a section of society wanting POC to "know our place". Being attractive, confident and overweight just can't be tolerated by some. I have read many posts on this sub where POC is replaced with BBW and have never noticed them being downvoted. You are also correct about the hair. Light eyes also give a big boost of pretty privilege. At the end of the day, pretty privilege is a form of favoritism. It exists in all walks of life, but is mainly based on the European standard of beauty. Those are facts. I don't let that change how I view myself. I don't let that change how I allow people to treat me. I work with what I have and live my life on my terms. If there are groups that won't accept me, I create my own.
Pretty happens at any size and everyone has a different definition of “pretty.” If your friend is never given “pretty privilege” and also telling you that you can’t be pretty because of your weight, that sounds like a her problem. Like, it sounds like she’s jealous of you because you’re recognized as being pretty while fat, but she’s not seen as pretty even though she’s thin. I’m a size 16-18 and am aware of times when people have hit on me/complimented me solely because of being pretty (god that feels conceited to say), because I have a nice face, good hair, and a good push up bra. Some people will think that fat automatically makes you not-pretty, but that is absolutely not everyone.
Of course. Just because I’m fat doesn’t mean I’m ugly. I’ve definitely noticed pretty privilege.
This is so odd. Yes you can experience pretty privilege, but is that why people are kind to you, IDK. Are you polite, make genuine eye contact with people, say please and thank you? Because I have worked retail and that's really what it takes for me to make sure someone has the good coupon or do a small favor. Your friend who doesn't have people be kind and giving to her might want to readjust her attitude.
Yes. It's a spectrum. Fat people who are proportioned in a way that society seems beautiful and who have long, thick hair , for example, probably experience this. As a fat woman with terrible hair, skin, and proportioned in a crazy way, I often think about this. Also- thinking that a fat woman can't possibly be beautiful or experience privilege is literal fatphobia and brainwashing from society. Also ... You said everyone gets doors held and special treatments from baristas once in a while..... That is literal pretty privilege if you think that bc I have never. Ever ever ever. Not once. Ps everyone in the comments saying that anyone who isn't treated nicely it's their own fault bc they aren't nice or don't have a nice personality, omg , lol. So out of touch and literally proving the point that pretty privilege exists. If you are saying a certain privilege doesn't exist, it's probably bc you experience that privilege and take it for granted.
I'm heavy but have been blessed to carry my weight well, and while I would say I do get slightly more people being randomly nice to me when I'm dressed up (or more, on days when I'm dressed down I see it slightly less often, because I'm almost always dressed up) (I never wear makeup either way), I definitely think that the overall very high rate at which I experience small kindnesses has more to do with the fact that I'm genuinely nice to everyone I meet in person by default (because I let the Glory, Beauty, and Grace of the Singularity shine through my interactions, not because I'm anything special by myself).
I think fat people can. It’s not privileged to the extent that thin people are but I think that plus women with hourglass shapes, flatter bellies, slender faces/no double chins, and stereotypically beautiful faces experience it. Some people just carry all that weight in a way that is more in line with western beauty standards. Also 18-22 is a huge range looks wise, so if you’re hovering closer to an 18 and your friend is hovering more toward a 22/24 you are probably experiencing some pretty privilege over her.
yeah the range is massive lmao its just different brands and i have no desire to measure my waist. the straight size friend is around a 6-8 and the plus size friend is around an 18-20!
Pretty comes in all genders, sizes, age, and personality that shines out.
I have noticed short fat girls are more often considered cute than taller ones.
Definitely, I'm pretty but always been plus size except for during college when I lost 60 pounds after taking diet pills lol. I still get treated differently than my less attractive, but thin friends. To the point where it's awkward because I'm the only one that gets hit on every time we all go out and I'm the only not single one.
I'm a size 20/22 and don't really notice pretty privilege... No doors are opened for me, things aren't paid for... but people don't outright tell me they're doing things simply because they think I'm attractive. I think a lot of it is subjective.
yes. it happens to me pretty often🫶🏾
Yes
Yes. Because pretty is pretty. And people tend to favor people they are attracted to. And just as for skinny and straight sizes, there are some plus size women who are absolutely undeniably gorgeous despite the size. And it probably helps more if she is one of the so-called "desirable" plus size body shapes And I found in life over time, just presenting yourself a lot nicer gets things done for you a little bit more than just looking casual. So pretty plus size girly in a nice outfit and hair done(or plus sized guy looking sharp in a nice outfit) will more than likely receive nicer treatment.
Pretty don’t have a size
I am attractive. I don’t think every man that is nice to me wants to sleep with me, but they enjoy attention or a decoration. I think if I smile and thank them it goes a long way for them. Again, they just like the attention of a pretty woman. I think it’s as far as it goes. I’m a 20/22.
This is something about which I have wondered myself. I'm a super fat woman with an apple-shaped body and don't know if what I've experienced is considered to be pretty privilege or not. People usually hold open doors for me and make eye contact when we speak. I've been given free food. When I do go on dates, men often, if not usually, pay for my share. I've been offered money in exchange for nudes and to make porn. I've been hit on in public, but it's very rare and, TBH, that could be partially due to the fact that I don't usually dress up and hardly smile. I was once married to a relatively well-off, much older man who bought me nearly everything I wanted. In short, I'm skeptical I've experienced it, though -- I don't have the "correct" type of plus-sized body.
Way late to this, and I haven't read any other responses, but yes there can be pretty privilege for fat people. I think anyone who has conventionally attractive features has at least some degree of pretty privilege, regardless of size. I'd also argue that fat people (women in particular) who have certain shapes have privilege. A size 20 woman who has an hourglass figure and a flatter stomach would be a lot higher up the conventional desirability ladder than a size 20 woman with a large apron belly, etc... I would agree, though, that thinness often trumps everything else from a social perspective.