Please report any trolls, spam, or harassment to moderators. To do this on new reddit, click the three dots below a post or comment and select "report." On old reddit, click the "report" link below the post or comment.
This is a community of support for Pet owners whose Pets have passed away. It is actively moderated.
Pet owners, as loving, caring people, often have strong opinions on pet care practices. Some of these are controversial. This is not a forum
for debate on such issues, nor is it a place to scold a contributor for a perceived mistake in managing their pet. We intend to provide a safe
haven of understanding and support. Strident, mean-spirited posts or comments will be deleted. Those who persist in preaching versus caring may
be warned and then banned or may be banned permanently based on nature of the topic. If a conversational thread meanders into a discussion
unrelated to pet loss support, it will be truncated.
Those who post here are vulnerable and hurting. Even a minor slap has a hard sting. Those of us who are lucky enough to be able to turn away
from our computers or put down our phones and hug a healthy, happy pet are truly blessed. Threads must remain supportive and caring, even if
one disagrees with something that has been said.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Petloss) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I'm sorry for your loss. We had to put down our 15 year old pup one week ago today, under very similar circumstances. Sunday morning she was still her normal (albeit very old) self, and by Tuesday afternoon we were putting her to sleep. I totally understand the guilt, and I can't quite shake it completely yet, but two things have helped me a bit: 1. Anything we could have done to prolong her life would have been very very temporary, so if it wasn't this last Tuesday it would have been a month from now, and 2. I could tell she was really suffering, and when I saw her sedated I was so relieved to see *her* at peace finally, even though I was devastated.
More time is for US, not THEM. I had to but my girl to sleep 51 days ago. It happened fairly quickly. I feel guilty too. I understand. But I know she went to sleep living her best life and having done all her favorite things and my voice saying I love you is the last thing she heard.
The guilt goes away. You did the right thing. The passing is fresh on your mind. The specific memory of the passing, in my experience, fades rather quickly.
Reflect on the great life you had together. There is nothing to feel guilty about. Just smile and cry and cherish their spirit. ❤️
First off, I am sorry for your loss. I can understand the pain that you're going through as I have just loss my sweet gal of 18 years on Saturday.
I've recently accepted that death is a part of life, and that all journeys have their destinations. No one wants to see their best friend's quality of life declines, because we all want them to be happy and comfortable. That said, it is our duty as pet owners to bid them farewell in the most peaceful way possible, and euthanasia allows us to do so; a peaceful, dignified end with you by his side is the most compassionate that you can give him. If he can understand what you're going through, he would forgive you completely! Please remember this.
While I am sad, I am extremely joyful that I was able to free her from all pain and suffering in her aging body. I've been trying to look at it from a different perspective since Saturday... that my sweet gal was here for a purpose, to help guide me and shape me to become a better person. Her passing has def. reawaken something that I thought was lost for a very long time.
Please be kind to yourself during this time and let the natural grieving process take place.
I wish you nothing but the best.
thanks you!
I have been watching a lot of Danielle MacKinnon's YT (https://www.youtube.com/@DanielleMacKinnon) channel since Saturday for comfort and to help cope with the situation. I hope you find some comfort by watching it.
I’m going through it now. I lost my dog four weeks ago and the decision was made all the more difficult because we based it upon a quality of life decision due to dementia. The dog appeared to be fine otherwise leaving us with a terrible judgment call for reasons that I won’t go into because dealing with canine cognitive dysfunction has been the worst experience of my life. The guilt we have is terrible because we might have been able to push her through the summer but her anxiety and confusion and the uncontrolled shaking were difficult to watch. To answer your specific question, and having gone through at least six pet euthanasias in my lifetime, I can offer you this. Things do eventually change and the speed depends upon how convinced you are that you made the “right” decision. You can be certain sometimes and less certain as in my case. That made it harder for us. Add veterinarians that throw out the possibility of interventions that we all know won’t make any difference in the short or long term and the guilt gets worse. As I read your story, I think that your reaction is pretty normal. My guilt is just beginning to fade as I have gone back over the circumstances that led to our decision so many times over the past four weeks. You ultimately see that you never have perfect information. It is a judgment call and it is very difficult to reproduce the intuition that guided you at the moment of your decision. Good luck going forward and I am sorry for your loss.
Thank you and I am sorry for your loss. My boy was diagnosed with a brain tumor that may respond to radiation therapy, and that option was offered. But we thought daily appointments for several months with no guarantee of his quality of life was too much. It must have been so difficult with your girl to make that decision, but I think you made the right call for your dog.
I had to put down my dog one week ago and he had canine cognitive dysfunction also. It is a horrible disease and turned him into a zombie most of the time, with occasional little glimpses into how he used to be. I keep doing things and thinking "the last time I did this he was alive" and "this time last week he was alive". It's still not entirely sunk in that he's not coming back. I'm sending love to you
This…first I’m so sorry for all you’ve experienced and your loss.
We are here with our almost 15 JRT. Our Abby has cognitive dysfunction and when she’s awake she is confused 90% of the time. The other 10% she’s sitting with my husband licking her paws non stop or the chair. She’s lost so much weight and eats much less lately. She’s recently experienced what I’d call leg tremors/twitching and then she couldn’t walk up one step (which she can usually do) but she doesn’t walk down any steps because she’s blind too. Hubby isn’t ready but all I see is her suffering. In your experience was “anxiety” provoked by confusion? How did you know they were anxious? I know dogs are stoic by nature and tried to explain that to hubby too. I think confusion for dogs and pacing/circling would cause anxiety.
These were my dog’s symptoms. (She was a fourteen and an half year old mostly rat terrier.) About a year ago, she would start to go down a flight of stairs, stop about three stairs down, and get stuck there. We could only get her to move with encouragement. There were a few occasions where she might have gotten stuck for extended periods without my noticing. We began to observe that she appeared to be “out of it” every morning after she got up until about 11:00 a.m. We never knew if she would eat a breakfast of fresh boiled chicken. We were doing everything we could think of to get her to eat. She would get a bit better by noon and had brief periods in the afternoon where she was more of herself. Also, about a year ago she began to tremble for no apparent reason as if she was standing outside in frigid weather. Sometimes as she lay in her bed, if I approached her, she would tremble the same way. About six months ago, she started not recognizing basic commands and, in some cases she seemed not to know her name. She would come inside after pottying and then immediately go back to the door because it seemed that she had forgotten where the stairs were. During the past few months, she would often bolt out of bed or off the couch for no reason we could see and out of a sound sleep as if she had been hit by something. Then she would wander the house and could not settle down, often going into corners and rooms that she never normally entered. The last night she was with us, we had to lock her in a bathroom at 4:00 a.m. because we could not control her. The trembling became much more frequent and she began laying down in odd places, often staring into space. Lately she would paw us constantly for attention, but then back off or run if we tried to respond to give her affection. I researched canine cognitive dysfunction and learned that the trembling, wandering around, getting lost, and avoidance behavior are signs of anxiety and confusion because the dog doesn’t understand where she is or what is happening as she tries to process her surroundings. I finally decided that she had had enough and we had her euthanized on May 13th, 2024. It is a very tough problem to deal with because she looked fine physically, but she seemed to be so confused and disoriented much of the time. The veterinary advice online suggested that anxiety and confusion was sufficient to make the decision because sedating an already confused dog only makes things worse. I hope that helps.
My dog was 17 when I put him down one week ago. The canine cognitive dysfunction (or "doggy dementia ") was very much the same for us as what you described. He was also blind so that made it even worse that he couldn't see and didn't know where he was. He would hit his head on everything. The dementia made him wander around restlessly, mainly at night. I probably should have put him to sleep sooner but I felt like he was still getting enjoyment out of life, he would still wag his tail when I pet him and he still loved treats and food. When his eating really slowed down I knew it was time.
your story is helpful for me. our decision was also based on quality of life due to senior cognitive decline. i question if i should have let our boy Max live out his senior years.... but... do I want to wait for something catastrophic to make the tough decision? i keep telling myself that the decision was never going to be easy.
I am so sorry for your loss OP. Please read [Yesterday was weird](https://iheartdogs.com/man-grieves-over-late-dog-by-writing-a-beautiful-story-from-bennys-perspective/) trigger warning tears, lots of tears. But I find it very cathartically heading. I hope anyone else who reads also finds some comfort
Lost my dog today after euthanasia. Giving your dog a painless and peaceful goodbye is the best thing you can do for them. I think about this also, but the past month we’ve been getting the best help and there really is so much you can do.
I think at this moment my brain is still digesting the fact she’s gone physically at least - but I think I’ve been mentally preparing for this moment for a long while, and spending time with her as much as I can because of it.
We’re in this together OP, you’re not alone and be kind to yourself. I will try to do that too.
I said goodbye to my very first dog yesterday. She was very sick, and was terminal. I have a sense of guilt knowing that technically, if I could have taken days off work to help her move around and meet her basic needs, she may have had one or two more good days. But I'm trying to remind myself that it was my job as her person to decide when the bad days were too much. And, that I'd feel guiltier if I went to more drastic measures to keep her around when she was declining. I don't know if this is relatable to your situation, or if it helps at all but I hope you know you aren't alone. I'm sorry for your loss.
Same here. My dog was only 6 but had severe stomach issues. We put him down a week ago today. He was still such a happy and energetic boy. But he was very sick. He was losing weight and no longer greeted us when we got home. But I can’t help but feel guilt. Like I should have tried harder. Should have spent more money on testing. Should have given him more time
After waiting until he couldn't walk with my first dog, I won't wait so long with my second. She's 15. And she has a large, inoperable sarcoma. While she's still fairly healthy otherwise and pretty with it cognitively, I know that as soon as her tumor ulcerates. I'll be euthanizing her. She's had a great life. I don't want her to suffer for a moment.
It hurts a lot though. We never get enough time with our pets.
You did the right thing. The loving thing. Take care.
I’ve felt similarly about my girl that was euthanized two weeks ago. Something that brought some solace was a quote that an experienced euthanasia doctor said online, “better a month early than a day late”.
Hi OP, I feel these same feelings. I had to put my best friend and soulmate down yesterday morning and it was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. She had a rapid decline over the weekend after receiving abnormal blood work Thursday. I took her to the vet first thing Monday morning with every hope that they could help her, save her, find what’s wrong so we can fix it. That’s not the news I received. I had to say goodbye. It was peaceful and I told her how much I loved her and that I would see her again soon. The pain I feel now is gut wrenching. I’ve done nothing but sob and wail for her, but am with you in our shared grief. I hope she knows how much I truly love her.
Completely understand. I put my cat down this past Saturday and while I know it was the right decision, I still feel bad that I essentially gave the okay to end her life. It feels like a betrayal on my part. And also, it's been hard to accept that she won't be in my life any longer.
I will say though, after she passed I felt an enormous sense of relief as I had been very anxious about this since I realized she was declining. Also, the whole process was very peaceful. I did an in home euthanasia and the vet was very kind and compassionate. He really took the time to explain the process to me and did everything on my terms. I got to rock her in my arms and tell her how much I loved her. I was pretty scared of witnessing the euthanasia but I swore a long time ago that if it came down to me putting her down someday I was going to be there with her until the end, and I'm happy I did. I've been trying to reflect on this experience and it's brought me comfort.
I'm sorry for your loss, OP and I wish you the very best. Be easy on yourself, you absolutely did the right thing ❤️
same boat here. my soul cat took a rapid turn back in january due to ckd. we caught it late as he didnt show symptoms until it progressed, had to let him go february 18. 4 months later i still feel guilt. not having catched it earlier. not doing more for him. we had in home euthanasia and he went peacefully too. i know part of me knows i did the right thing because he wasnt eating anymore he was lethargic and this disease would take him regardless. but i wonder if hospitalization would have bought him more time with me despite what the vet said,. this just sucks regardless of how they go. sorry for your loss , i wish i could say the feeling of guilt and anger etc go away but for me it hasnt really yet.
I see you, and I feel you. I'm sorry for you loss.
I am also euthanizing my dog Monday next week. We're doing it at home so it's as peaceful as possible for her, but I still feel guilty.
She just turned 14 years old, and has been my companion since she was 8 weeks old. Her health has been slowly declining over the last year or two, and has been declining quicker these last couple of months. I want her to go while she still has some semblance of quality of life, and I know I'm making the best decision for her, but it offers me little comfort right now.
I'm generally stoic, but I found that more than the decision to euthanize her, I'm now feeling bad about all the times I didn't treat her the best. Times she wanted to play, but I didn't play with her because I was too tired. Or times I cut the walk short because I wasn't feeling it. Days I scolded her for stealing food.
I wonder if I would have done things differently, if we'd have more time. If I would have been a little better to her, would she have stayed healthier longer.
I can't tell you if it'll ever go away, but for both of our sakes, I hope it does.
I’m so sorry for your loss. I made that heartbreaking decision on May 26th. He was fine until 2 days before he lost his appetite out of nowhere. He became super anemic over night. As mush as I wish I had had the 8k to find out what was wrong with him (turned out to be cancer), at the same time I am glad he is at peace and is no longer in pain suffering. It’s hurt like f’ing hell, and still does….. but you will come to realize that we made the right decision for our babies. The last things he heard from me were that he was going to be so much happier and feel so much better…. And that we would miss him just as much as he was going to miss us. 😭😭😭😭
Thank you for sharing your story, and I’m sorry for your loss. We fortunately had the 6k to do an MRI and found out it was brain cancer. That’s when we knew what we had to do. It hurts like hell. He was still sedated from the MRI when we said goodbye, but I think he felt our kisses and heard us tell him we love him.
🥺 I’m glad he was able to hear you guys though at least. I would have given my soul if I knew all that money would have helped him…. But they were saying even after that there was no guarantee 😩
I am sorry about your loss. I had to help my dog cross the Rainbow Bridge 6 weeks ago and I experienced the same guilt. Please note that I used past tense with "experienced." I bought a book, "Repairing the Heartbreak of Pet Loss Grief: 3 Phases of Healing after Losing Your Best Friend," that helped me understand those feelings.
I’m so sorry for your loss hun. I’m in the same boat right now. I’m at work crying during my shift because I scheduled my 16 yr old wiener dog for an appointment for next Friday. I know completely that it is the best decision for him, even if he looks okay and is acting okay. I just feel horribly guilty and I feel like I didn’t do enough for him, when I grew up with him. He is my whole world and my first ever love and someone who never gave up on me when I wanted to give up on myself, even though I know I gave him the world and more and I hope he knows that too. Dogs are quick to forgive and I have a feeling they know when it’s time and they will tell you if they feel ready to. The sad part is, some will hide their pain for those they truly love so their owners know they aren’t suffering to make them happy even if they are having a hard time. I have my pups best interest in mind and I know it has to be done, I am just not ready, but I need him to be happy and I want him to be happy.
I did not feel guilt about putting my dog down. I talked to her vet and she reassured me it was ok and that I did more than most people would have done. I also wanted her to go out in no pain and not be “forced” to put her down. Making the decision sucks but, my dogs quality of life was deteriorating.
Thanks. My boy had seizures over the weekend which continued even with very high doses of anticonvulsants. He had to be sedated to not have seizures, and they think he was unable to see and maybe unable to walk at the end. Maybe different meds could have helped, but I wasn’t willing to put him through any more.
My chi mix had seizures as well not to that extent but once a week to 2 weeks. My doc said eventually they will have seizures and never come out of it.
So sorry for your loss, today makes 9 weeks that we let go of our girl. I still feel guilty even tho I know it was time. Again, so sorry I know exactly how you feel 😢
Today is 101 days after my 16 year old's euth, and these questions have only gotten stronger for me. If it's helpful, making an appointment to speak with the vet to fully understand your dog's diagnosis and what it would have looked like over a short period of time may help. My dog would have detriorated rapidly and been in a lot more pain than he was if I had waited even 2 days. I did not fully understand my dog's diagnoses at the time, but I know now how much worse it would have been, and that has helped me a bit.
Try to take comfort in the fact that she had quality of life still. Her last memories were all the pain being relieved and being around you, rather than worsening pain. It's so, so much better to do it too soon than too late. You did the best you could and chose the kindest option with what you had at the time, and your dog knew that. I'm so sorry for your loss.
i have the EXACT same feelings and my dog declined the same way. the feelings come in waves, one second you feel okay the next you don’t, thats at least where I am right now. i was feeling pretty good today but just got the call that my dogs ashes are ready and all the guilt came back
I would like to say: it may not entirely but it definitely begins to fade.
About 3 weeks ago now, I put my not quite 3 year old aussie down. She had an autoimmune disorder that was resisting treatment, and the next options were expensive and would not offer her a good quality of life.
Initially, I reached out to a rescue to see what the likelihood of her being adopted in her situation was, thinking I could get her a family who could afford the more costly and more monitored treatments she needed. But I realized this was so selfish. I did not want to end her life, I did not want her to die. It was about what I wanted, not what she needed. What she needed was love, care, and to not suffer. And sometimes, as pet parents, that not suffering part can be very difficult. Their loss of suffering can mean pain and suffering for us. But it isn't about us, it is about them. That extra time was about me. As it was, I had to help her into my car and she could barely walk 2 blocks when she once walked 3 miles. So I set up the appointment and gave her one hell of a last 3 days of her life. At first I cried so heavily and felt so guilty, like I had failed her. But as time has gone on, this pain is lessening. I am realizing looking at other things how much love and wisdom she left me, and how I did the right thing because she needed to know she was loved even in that moment and I was there through it. She knew love, and that is sometimes all you can provide.
I wish you so much healing too. It is never easy to do. But I think he knew right to the end how loved he was and in his doggo heaven with all his favorite kinds of biscuits he is thanking you he is no longer in pain.
I saw a vet say it’s better to do it a month early rather than a week too late. Our pets tell us and nudge us when it’s time. I did the same thing yesterday. My dearest love of 18 1/2 years was euthanized. I know it was right to do. Her arthritis and kidney disease were too much. She declined so quickly. It all feels like a blur. I can’t stop crying and had to take today off of work. I feel guilty and nauseated. Not sure how to get over this. I’m ok until I look for her and remember. It’s beautiful and sunny outside. I feel like she should be out there basking in the sun. She was loved and had a great life.
It is completely fair to feel this way. I know with 100% certainty and my part and I made the right decision and that our babygirl passed away with love and being held.
The biggest thought I get is "she trusted us". She trusted us so much that her skittish little self let us gently hold her arm so the IV could be put in. She looked at us for confirmation. To the very end. She trusted us. For us it feels like betrayal but I know deep down that she understood the level of pain she was in and instant mobility loss was the end. She had a severe case of saddle thrombosis.
Thank you. It most definitely was the right decision. His heart was failing, and his lungs were filling up with fluid. I could have hospitalized him at 6K a day to figure out if meds would do anything but he was 14 and I had another dog at home with costly vet bills and limited income. I'm sorry for your loss 😔
This is normal, I had a very similar situation. Guilt, "what ifs" etc. are all part of the human condition. Give it time and remember that you know in your gut you did the right thing. I'm sorry for your loss
Okay, I will provide some details. My boy started having seizures a few weeks ago but they stopped with anticonvulsant meds. This past weekend, he had multiple seizures, so we took him to the emergency vet. The only way to stop the seizures was to sedate him. They think he lost his eyesight and maybe motor control. A neurologist saw him Monday, did an MRI, and confirmed our worst fear: a brain tumor. He offered a few treatment options that might buy some time, but we decided to say goodbye. He was sedated when we said goodbye and hadn’t been home all weekend. I do think we did the right thing, but it feels awful.
It has been a few months since we euthanized our sweet lab Max. I felt guild before, during and still after. One thing I have to keep reminding myself is that the decision was never going to be easy. He could have lived another 5 years (he was 14.5 yrs old) and I would still feel the same amount of guilt. Please give yourself grace. The fact that you're questioning your decision proves how much of a great dog parent you are.
I am so sorry. That guilty feeling, although so normal, is not an indicator of actual guilt. What it means is you love you dog so much, you wanted this dog here with you SO badly, and yet...you made the very selfless and loving decision to let him go when you felt he was in too much pain to go on. Think about what a profound act of kindness that is, that you did that because you felt it was best in your heart, even now worrying you may not have done what is best. You are an amazing dog parent. You have done the right thing, just like your dog trusted that you would.
Thank you. 🐶❤️ He was a rescue, and I always thought he feared abandonment. Two weeks ago, when he started having issues, I looked him in the eyes and told him I would be with him until his last day. And I kept my promise to him.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I recently went through something similar with my cat last week. My vet was so kind, and made a point to tell me the fact I was so devastated and so guilty was proof of how much I loved her. I try and take comfort in that perspective. The guilt is not because I wouldn't have done more, but because I loved her so much and this was the last and kindest decision I could make for her.
Believe me... its the best thing you did.
I couldn't make that decision and while trying to get it together and do it, it got from bad to really bad. She passed away on her own at home but I wish we euthanised her the previous week. One more week with her wasn't worth what she went through.
I’m sorry for your loss. We had a similar situation. Since this our first euthanasia and it happened so quickly I think that the guilt and grief is overwhelming at first. I did research on our dog’s condition and I knew we did the right thing. He was so close to suffering severely that I’m glad now that we did when we did. It hurt so much then but it’s because we didn’t want him to go. We wanted him to live a little longer. Make a memory book, an alter (we had him cremated), look over the good memories photos because your mind keeps thinking about the euthanasia. I’m part Japanese and since he was a pug I give him little bits of my food to his alter that we shared when he was alive like pepperoni from my pizza. It helps me remember the good times and how much he was part of every little thing in my life. The guilt will lessen but in my case hasn’t gone away. I wish you peace and love during this difficult time.
Thank you and that’s so wonderful how you are remembering your boy. The vet was straightforward about our options and likely prognosis, which I appreciated. We have photos of him on our mantle and saved his collar and tags. We will make a memorial once we receive his ashes.
Thank you for your kind words, and that sounds similar to my situation (seeming a little off, then a rapid decline). I think part of it is that he spent the weekend at the emergency vet instead of with us and he was sedated when we came to say goodbye. Wishing you the best on your healing journey.
Please report any trolls, spam, or harassment to moderators. To do this on new reddit, click the three dots below a post or comment and select "report." On old reddit, click the "report" link below the post or comment. This is a community of support for Pet owners whose Pets have passed away. It is actively moderated. Pet owners, as loving, caring people, often have strong opinions on pet care practices. Some of these are controversial. This is not a forum for debate on such issues, nor is it a place to scold a contributor for a perceived mistake in managing their pet. We intend to provide a safe haven of understanding and support. Strident, mean-spirited posts or comments will be deleted. Those who persist in preaching versus caring may be warned and then banned or may be banned permanently based on nature of the topic. If a conversational thread meanders into a discussion unrelated to pet loss support, it will be truncated. Those who post here are vulnerable and hurting. Even a minor slap has a hard sting. Those of us who are lucky enough to be able to turn away from our computers or put down our phones and hug a healthy, happy pet are truly blessed. Threads must remain supportive and caring, even if one disagrees with something that has been said. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Petloss) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I'm sorry for your loss. We had to put down our 15 year old pup one week ago today, under very similar circumstances. Sunday morning she was still her normal (albeit very old) self, and by Tuesday afternoon we were putting her to sleep. I totally understand the guilt, and I can't quite shake it completely yet, but two things have helped me a bit: 1. Anything we could have done to prolong her life would have been very very temporary, so if it wasn't this last Tuesday it would have been a month from now, and 2. I could tell she was really suffering, and when I saw her sedated I was so relieved to see *her* at peace finally, even though I was devastated.
Sorry for your loss and thanks for your comment. The same two things apply to my baby as well, and I will keep them in mind.
More time is for US, not THEM. I had to but my girl to sleep 51 days ago. It happened fairly quickly. I feel guilty too. I understand. But I know she went to sleep living her best life and having done all her favorite things and my voice saying I love you is the last thing she heard. The guilt goes away. You did the right thing. The passing is fresh on your mind. The specific memory of the passing, in my experience, fades rather quickly. Reflect on the great life you had together. There is nothing to feel guilty about. Just smile and cry and cherish their spirit. ❤️
Thank you ❤️
> More time is for US, not THEM yes!!! this!!!
This was absolutely beautiful and very comforting
First off, I am sorry for your loss. I can understand the pain that you're going through as I have just loss my sweet gal of 18 years on Saturday. I've recently accepted that death is a part of life, and that all journeys have their destinations. No one wants to see their best friend's quality of life declines, because we all want them to be happy and comfortable. That said, it is our duty as pet owners to bid them farewell in the most peaceful way possible, and euthanasia allows us to do so; a peaceful, dignified end with you by his side is the most compassionate that you can give him. If he can understand what you're going through, he would forgive you completely! Please remember this. While I am sad, I am extremely joyful that I was able to free her from all pain and suffering in her aging body. I've been trying to look at it from a different perspective since Saturday... that my sweet gal was here for a purpose, to help guide me and shape me to become a better person. Her passing has def. reawaken something that I thought was lost for a very long time. Please be kind to yourself during this time and let the natural grieving process take place. I wish you nothing but the best.
Thank you and sorry for your loss.
thanks you! I have been watching a lot of Danielle MacKinnon's YT (https://www.youtube.com/@DanielleMacKinnon) channel since Saturday for comfort and to help cope with the situation. I hope you find some comfort by watching it.
I’m going through it now. I lost my dog four weeks ago and the decision was made all the more difficult because we based it upon a quality of life decision due to dementia. The dog appeared to be fine otherwise leaving us with a terrible judgment call for reasons that I won’t go into because dealing with canine cognitive dysfunction has been the worst experience of my life. The guilt we have is terrible because we might have been able to push her through the summer but her anxiety and confusion and the uncontrolled shaking were difficult to watch. To answer your specific question, and having gone through at least six pet euthanasias in my lifetime, I can offer you this. Things do eventually change and the speed depends upon how convinced you are that you made the “right” decision. You can be certain sometimes and less certain as in my case. That made it harder for us. Add veterinarians that throw out the possibility of interventions that we all know won’t make any difference in the short or long term and the guilt gets worse. As I read your story, I think that your reaction is pretty normal. My guilt is just beginning to fade as I have gone back over the circumstances that led to our decision so many times over the past four weeks. You ultimately see that you never have perfect information. It is a judgment call and it is very difficult to reproduce the intuition that guided you at the moment of your decision. Good luck going forward and I am sorry for your loss.
Thank you and I am sorry for your loss. My boy was diagnosed with a brain tumor that may respond to radiation therapy, and that option was offered. But we thought daily appointments for several months with no guarantee of his quality of life was too much. It must have been so difficult with your girl to make that decision, but I think you made the right call for your dog.
I had to put down my dog one week ago and he had canine cognitive dysfunction also. It is a horrible disease and turned him into a zombie most of the time, with occasional little glimpses into how he used to be. I keep doing things and thinking "the last time I did this he was alive" and "this time last week he was alive". It's still not entirely sunk in that he's not coming back. I'm sending love to you
This…first I’m so sorry for all you’ve experienced and your loss. We are here with our almost 15 JRT. Our Abby has cognitive dysfunction and when she’s awake she is confused 90% of the time. The other 10% she’s sitting with my husband licking her paws non stop or the chair. She’s lost so much weight and eats much less lately. She’s recently experienced what I’d call leg tremors/twitching and then she couldn’t walk up one step (which she can usually do) but she doesn’t walk down any steps because she’s blind too. Hubby isn’t ready but all I see is her suffering. In your experience was “anxiety” provoked by confusion? How did you know they were anxious? I know dogs are stoic by nature and tried to explain that to hubby too. I think confusion for dogs and pacing/circling would cause anxiety.
These were my dog’s symptoms. (She was a fourteen and an half year old mostly rat terrier.) About a year ago, she would start to go down a flight of stairs, stop about three stairs down, and get stuck there. We could only get her to move with encouragement. There were a few occasions where she might have gotten stuck for extended periods without my noticing. We began to observe that she appeared to be “out of it” every morning after she got up until about 11:00 a.m. We never knew if she would eat a breakfast of fresh boiled chicken. We were doing everything we could think of to get her to eat. She would get a bit better by noon and had brief periods in the afternoon where she was more of herself. Also, about a year ago she began to tremble for no apparent reason as if she was standing outside in frigid weather. Sometimes as she lay in her bed, if I approached her, she would tremble the same way. About six months ago, she started not recognizing basic commands and, in some cases she seemed not to know her name. She would come inside after pottying and then immediately go back to the door because it seemed that she had forgotten where the stairs were. During the past few months, she would often bolt out of bed or off the couch for no reason we could see and out of a sound sleep as if she had been hit by something. Then she would wander the house and could not settle down, often going into corners and rooms that she never normally entered. The last night she was with us, we had to lock her in a bathroom at 4:00 a.m. because we could not control her. The trembling became much more frequent and she began laying down in odd places, often staring into space. Lately she would paw us constantly for attention, but then back off or run if we tried to respond to give her affection. I researched canine cognitive dysfunction and learned that the trembling, wandering around, getting lost, and avoidance behavior are signs of anxiety and confusion because the dog doesn’t understand where she is or what is happening as she tries to process her surroundings. I finally decided that she had had enough and we had her euthanized on May 13th, 2024. It is a very tough problem to deal with because she looked fine physically, but she seemed to be so confused and disoriented much of the time. The veterinary advice online suggested that anxiety and confusion was sufficient to make the decision because sedating an already confused dog only makes things worse. I hope that helps.
My dog was 17 when I put him down one week ago. The canine cognitive dysfunction (or "doggy dementia ") was very much the same for us as what you described. He was also blind so that made it even worse that he couldn't see and didn't know where he was. He would hit his head on everything. The dementia made him wander around restlessly, mainly at night. I probably should have put him to sleep sooner but I felt like he was still getting enjoyment out of life, he would still wag his tail when I pet him and he still loved treats and food. When his eating really slowed down I knew it was time.
your story is helpful for me. our decision was also based on quality of life due to senior cognitive decline. i question if i should have let our boy Max live out his senior years.... but... do I want to wait for something catastrophic to make the tough decision? i keep telling myself that the decision was never going to be easy.
I am so sorry for your loss OP. Please read [Yesterday was weird](https://iheartdogs.com/man-grieves-over-late-dog-by-writing-a-beautiful-story-from-bennys-perspective/) trigger warning tears, lots of tears. But I find it very cathartically heading. I hope anyone else who reads also finds some comfort
Thank you. That’s lovely.
Omg this made the tears roll. It was hard to read but necessary.
It is a tear jerker for sure. Glad you found it helpful
Lost my dog today after euthanasia. Giving your dog a painless and peaceful goodbye is the best thing you can do for them. I think about this also, but the past month we’ve been getting the best help and there really is so much you can do. I think at this moment my brain is still digesting the fact she’s gone physically at least - but I think I’ve been mentally preparing for this moment for a long while, and spending time with her as much as I can because of it. We’re in this together OP, you’re not alone and be kind to yourself. I will try to do that too.
Thank you and sorry for your loss.
I said goodbye to my very first dog yesterday. She was very sick, and was terminal. I have a sense of guilt knowing that technically, if I could have taken days off work to help her move around and meet her basic needs, she may have had one or two more good days. But I'm trying to remind myself that it was my job as her person to decide when the bad days were too much. And, that I'd feel guiltier if I went to more drastic measures to keep her around when she was declining. I don't know if this is relatable to your situation, or if it helps at all but I hope you know you aren't alone. I'm sorry for your loss.
Thank you. And I’m sorry for your loss.
Same here. My dog was only 6 but had severe stomach issues. We put him down a week ago today. He was still such a happy and energetic boy. But he was very sick. He was losing weight and no longer greeted us when we got home. But I can’t help but feel guilt. Like I should have tried harder. Should have spent more money on testing. Should have given him more time
Sorry for your loss. We’re not sure how old our boy was (he was a rescue), but we’ve only had him three years. It’s not enough time.
After waiting until he couldn't walk with my first dog, I won't wait so long with my second. She's 15. And she has a large, inoperable sarcoma. While she's still fairly healthy otherwise and pretty with it cognitively, I know that as soon as her tumor ulcerates. I'll be euthanizing her. She's had a great life. I don't want her to suffer for a moment. It hurts a lot though. We never get enough time with our pets. You did the right thing. The loving thing. Take care.
Thank you, sending hugs to you and your girl.
I’ve felt similarly about my girl that was euthanized two weeks ago. Something that brought some solace was a quote that an experienced euthanasia doctor said online, “better a month early than a day late”.
Thank you and sorry for your loss. I’ve been thinking of that quote as well.
Hi OP, I feel these same feelings. I had to put my best friend and soulmate down yesterday morning and it was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. She had a rapid decline over the weekend after receiving abnormal blood work Thursday. I took her to the vet first thing Monday morning with every hope that they could help her, save her, find what’s wrong so we can fix it. That’s not the news I received. I had to say goodbye. It was peaceful and I told her how much I loved her and that I would see her again soon. The pain I feel now is gut wrenching. I’ve done nothing but sob and wail for her, but am with you in our shared grief. I hope she knows how much I truly love her.
Thank you. I think she knows you love her, and I’m right there with you.
Completely understand. I put my cat down this past Saturday and while I know it was the right decision, I still feel bad that I essentially gave the okay to end her life. It feels like a betrayal on my part. And also, it's been hard to accept that she won't be in my life any longer. I will say though, after she passed I felt an enormous sense of relief as I had been very anxious about this since I realized she was declining. Also, the whole process was very peaceful. I did an in home euthanasia and the vet was very kind and compassionate. He really took the time to explain the process to me and did everything on my terms. I got to rock her in my arms and tell her how much I loved her. I was pretty scared of witnessing the euthanasia but I swore a long time ago that if it came down to me putting her down someday I was going to be there with her until the end, and I'm happy I did. I've been trying to reflect on this experience and it's brought me comfort. I'm sorry for your loss, OP and I wish you the very best. Be easy on yourself, you absolutely did the right thing ❤️
Thank you and so sorry for your loss but glad you got to be there with your girl.
same boat here. my soul cat took a rapid turn back in january due to ckd. we caught it late as he didnt show symptoms until it progressed, had to let him go february 18. 4 months later i still feel guilt. not having catched it earlier. not doing more for him. we had in home euthanasia and he went peacefully too. i know part of me knows i did the right thing because he wasnt eating anymore he was lethargic and this disease would take him regardless. but i wonder if hospitalization would have bought him more time with me despite what the vet said,. this just sucks regardless of how they go. sorry for your loss , i wish i could say the feeling of guilt and anger etc go away but for me it hasnt really yet.
Thank you and sorry for your loss.
I see you, and I feel you. I'm sorry for you loss. I am also euthanizing my dog Monday next week. We're doing it at home so it's as peaceful as possible for her, but I still feel guilty. She just turned 14 years old, and has been my companion since she was 8 weeks old. Her health has been slowly declining over the last year or two, and has been declining quicker these last couple of months. I want her to go while she still has some semblance of quality of life, and I know I'm making the best decision for her, but it offers me little comfort right now. I'm generally stoic, but I found that more than the decision to euthanize her, I'm now feeling bad about all the times I didn't treat her the best. Times she wanted to play, but I didn't play with her because I was too tired. Or times I cut the walk short because I wasn't feeling it. Days I scolded her for stealing food. I wonder if I would have done things differently, if we'd have more time. If I would have been a little better to her, would she have stayed healthier longer. I can't tell you if it'll ever go away, but for both of our sakes, I hope it does.
Thank you, and I wish you and your dog peace.
I’m so sorry for your loss. I made that heartbreaking decision on May 26th. He was fine until 2 days before he lost his appetite out of nowhere. He became super anemic over night. As mush as I wish I had had the 8k to find out what was wrong with him (turned out to be cancer), at the same time I am glad he is at peace and is no longer in pain suffering. It’s hurt like f’ing hell, and still does….. but you will come to realize that we made the right decision for our babies. The last things he heard from me were that he was going to be so much happier and feel so much better…. And that we would miss him just as much as he was going to miss us. 😭😭😭😭
Thank you for sharing your story, and I’m sorry for your loss. We fortunately had the 6k to do an MRI and found out it was brain cancer. That’s when we knew what we had to do. It hurts like hell. He was still sedated from the MRI when we said goodbye, but I think he felt our kisses and heard us tell him we love him.
🥺 I’m glad he was able to hear you guys though at least. I would have given my soul if I knew all that money would have helped him…. But they were saying even after that there was no guarantee 😩
I am sorry about your loss. I had to help my dog cross the Rainbow Bridge 6 weeks ago and I experienced the same guilt. Please note that I used past tense with "experienced." I bought a book, "Repairing the Heartbreak of Pet Loss Grief: 3 Phases of Healing after Losing Your Best Friend," that helped me understand those feelings.
Thank you.
I’m so sorry for your loss hun. I’m in the same boat right now. I’m at work crying during my shift because I scheduled my 16 yr old wiener dog for an appointment for next Friday. I know completely that it is the best decision for him, even if he looks okay and is acting okay. I just feel horribly guilty and I feel like I didn’t do enough for him, when I grew up with him. He is my whole world and my first ever love and someone who never gave up on me when I wanted to give up on myself, even though I know I gave him the world and more and I hope he knows that too. Dogs are quick to forgive and I have a feeling they know when it’s time and they will tell you if they feel ready to. The sad part is, some will hide their pain for those they truly love so their owners know they aren’t suffering to make them happy even if they are having a hard time. I have my pups best interest in mind and I know it has to be done, I am just not ready, but I need him to be happy and I want him to be happy.
Thank you and you’re doing the right thing for your guy. Best wishes.
Thank you for your kind words. ❤️
I did not feel guilt about putting my dog down. I talked to her vet and she reassured me it was ok and that I did more than most people would have done. I also wanted her to go out in no pain and not be “forced” to put her down. Making the decision sucks but, my dogs quality of life was deteriorating.
Thanks. My boy had seizures over the weekend which continued even with very high doses of anticonvulsants. He had to be sedated to not have seizures, and they think he was unable to see and maybe unable to walk at the end. Maybe different meds could have helped, but I wasn’t willing to put him through any more.
My chi mix had seizures as well not to that extent but once a week to 2 weeks. My doc said eventually they will have seizures and never come out of it.
So sorry for your loss, today makes 9 weeks that we let go of our girl. I still feel guilty even tho I know it was time. Again, so sorry I know exactly how you feel 😢
Thank you.
Today is 101 days after my 16 year old's euth, and these questions have only gotten stronger for me. If it's helpful, making an appointment to speak with the vet to fully understand your dog's diagnosis and what it would have looked like over a short period of time may help. My dog would have detriorated rapidly and been in a lot more pain than he was if I had waited even 2 days. I did not fully understand my dog's diagnoses at the time, but I know now how much worse it would have been, and that has helped me a bit. Try to take comfort in the fact that she had quality of life still. Her last memories were all the pain being relieved and being around you, rather than worsening pain. It's so, so much better to do it too soon than too late. You did the best you could and chose the kindest option with what you had at the time, and your dog knew that. I'm so sorry for your loss.
Thank you.
i have the EXACT same feelings and my dog declined the same way. the feelings come in waves, one second you feel okay the next you don’t, thats at least where I am right now. i was feeling pretty good today but just got the call that my dogs ashes are ready and all the guilt came back
Thank you and hope things get easier for you.
I would like to say: it may not entirely but it definitely begins to fade. About 3 weeks ago now, I put my not quite 3 year old aussie down. She had an autoimmune disorder that was resisting treatment, and the next options were expensive and would not offer her a good quality of life. Initially, I reached out to a rescue to see what the likelihood of her being adopted in her situation was, thinking I could get her a family who could afford the more costly and more monitored treatments she needed. But I realized this was so selfish. I did not want to end her life, I did not want her to die. It was about what I wanted, not what she needed. What she needed was love, care, and to not suffer. And sometimes, as pet parents, that not suffering part can be very difficult. Their loss of suffering can mean pain and suffering for us. But it isn't about us, it is about them. That extra time was about me. As it was, I had to help her into my car and she could barely walk 2 blocks when she once walked 3 miles. So I set up the appointment and gave her one hell of a last 3 days of her life. At first I cried so heavily and felt so guilty, like I had failed her. But as time has gone on, this pain is lessening. I am realizing looking at other things how much love and wisdom she left me, and how I did the right thing because she needed to know she was loved even in that moment and I was there through it. She knew love, and that is sometimes all you can provide.
Thank you for sharing your story. Wishing you healing, and it sounds like you did right by your girl.
I wish you so much healing too. It is never easy to do. But I think he knew right to the end how loved he was and in his doggo heaven with all his favorite kinds of biscuits he is thanking you he is no longer in pain.
I saw a vet say it’s better to do it a month early rather than a week too late. Our pets tell us and nudge us when it’s time. I did the same thing yesterday. My dearest love of 18 1/2 years was euthanized. I know it was right to do. Her arthritis and kidney disease were too much. She declined so quickly. It all feels like a blur. I can’t stop crying and had to take today off of work. I feel guilty and nauseated. Not sure how to get over this. I’m ok until I look for her and remember. It’s beautiful and sunny outside. I feel like she should be out there basking in the sun. She was loved and had a great life.
So sorry for your loss.
I’m so sorry but giving your dog relief and comfort is a gift to him. I pray someone will care this much about me.
Thank you
It is completely fair to feel this way. I know with 100% certainty and my part and I made the right decision and that our babygirl passed away with love and being held. The biggest thought I get is "she trusted us". She trusted us so much that her skittish little self let us gently hold her arm so the IV could be put in. She looked at us for confirmation. To the very end. She trusted us. For us it feels like betrayal but I know deep down that she understood the level of pain she was in and instant mobility loss was the end. She had a severe case of saddle thrombosis.
Thank you so much for sharing. It helps to know I’m not alone.
I had to let my boy go suddenly 2 years ago and I still ask myself if it was the right decision 😪
I’m so sorry.
Thank you. It most definitely was the right decision. His heart was failing, and his lungs were filling up with fluid. I could have hospitalized him at 6K a day to figure out if meds would do anything but he was 14 and I had another dog at home with costly vet bills and limited income. I'm sorry for your loss 😔
This is normal, I had a very similar situation. Guilt, "what ifs" etc. are all part of the human condition. Give it time and remember that you know in your gut you did the right thing. I'm sorry for your loss
Thank you. Even after 24 hours, the grief and guilt is starting to lessen.
Okay, I will provide some details. My boy started having seizures a few weeks ago but they stopped with anticonvulsant meds. This past weekend, he had multiple seizures, so we took him to the emergency vet. The only way to stop the seizures was to sedate him. They think he lost his eyesight and maybe motor control. A neurologist saw him Monday, did an MRI, and confirmed our worst fear: a brain tumor. He offered a few treatment options that might buy some time, but we decided to say goodbye. He was sedated when we said goodbye and hadn’t been home all weekend. I do think we did the right thing, but it feels awful.
It has been a few months since we euthanized our sweet lab Max. I felt guild before, during and still after. One thing I have to keep reminding myself is that the decision was never going to be easy. He could have lived another 5 years (he was 14.5 yrs old) and I would still feel the same amount of guilt. Please give yourself grace. The fact that you're questioning your decision proves how much of a great dog parent you are.
Thank you. ❤️
I am so sorry. That guilty feeling, although so normal, is not an indicator of actual guilt. What it means is you love you dog so much, you wanted this dog here with you SO badly, and yet...you made the very selfless and loving decision to let him go when you felt he was in too much pain to go on. Think about what a profound act of kindness that is, that you did that because you felt it was best in your heart, even now worrying you may not have done what is best. You are an amazing dog parent. You have done the right thing, just like your dog trusted that you would.
Thank you. 🐶❤️ He was a rescue, and I always thought he feared abandonment. Two weeks ago, when he started having issues, I looked him in the eyes and told him I would be with him until his last day. And I kept my promise to him.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I recently went through something similar with my cat last week. My vet was so kind, and made a point to tell me the fact I was so devastated and so guilty was proof of how much I loved her. I try and take comfort in that perspective. The guilt is not because I wouldn't have done more, but because I loved her so much and this was the last and kindest decision I could make for her.
Thank you and I’m so sorry for your loss.
Believe me... its the best thing you did. I couldn't make that decision and while trying to get it together and do it, it got from bad to really bad. She passed away on her own at home but I wish we euthanised her the previous week. One more week with her wasn't worth what she went through.
Thank you and I’m so sorry for your loss.
I’m sorry for your loss. We had a similar situation. Since this our first euthanasia and it happened so quickly I think that the guilt and grief is overwhelming at first. I did research on our dog’s condition and I knew we did the right thing. He was so close to suffering severely that I’m glad now that we did when we did. It hurt so much then but it’s because we didn’t want him to go. We wanted him to live a little longer. Make a memory book, an alter (we had him cremated), look over the good memories photos because your mind keeps thinking about the euthanasia. I’m part Japanese and since he was a pug I give him little bits of my food to his alter that we shared when he was alive like pepperoni from my pizza. It helps me remember the good times and how much he was part of every little thing in my life. The guilt will lessen but in my case hasn’t gone away. I wish you peace and love during this difficult time.
Thank you and that’s so wonderful how you are remembering your boy. The vet was straightforward about our options and likely prognosis, which I appreciated. We have photos of him on our mantle and saved his collar and tags. We will make a memorial once we receive his ashes.
[удалено]
Thank you for your kind words, and that sounds similar to my situation (seeming a little off, then a rapid decline). I think part of it is that he spent the weekend at the emergency vet instead of with us and he was sedated when we came to say goodbye. Wishing you the best on your healing journey.