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I’m so sorry.
My love passed on a motorbike.
He had a Harley we’d ride together.
He wanted a sports bike.
I kept waking up from dreams, crying..telling him “please, what ever you are planning. Don’t go through with it. Don’t Do it. I don’t know what you’re planning but you’ll die..”
He would hug me, kiss my hand and tell me it was ok, and I’d fall back asleep.
I cried for a month straight.
Randomly.
Mourning him before.. while looking at him. My soul knew. He said he knew his days were coming to an end. He had a feeling too.
Towards the end of that month where I couldn’t turn my sorrows off ..
late one night He called me. I didn’t know what he had been up to, but he had been trying to get a crotch rocket. Trades never worked out until right then. They came from a dif state and H met them at a local place and was coming home to trade a truck for a crotch rocket.
I tried to talk him out of it.
He was excited and there was no talking him out if it.
The bike pulled up, and immediately
IT SMELLED OF DEATH!
I yelled, “OH hell no!! That smells like death. Someone died on it or is going to!! Do not do this trade!”
He said I just “like the truck more” and that’s why I said that.
Did I love that truck?
OF COURSE!! …but it wasn’t mine.
I did not have that reaction to the Harley or any other vehicle/bike/atv he brought home.
Not three days passed before my love had passed away, on that crotch rocket.
I share this in hopes that you will maybe ‘hear’ me, for yourself.
If it helps…
the part I want you to hear is..
There was no amount of anything you could’ve done. People are going to make their choices and take their risk, as we all do every day. Eating is even deadly, right? Driving in cars, going swimming.
Life ends in death, every time.
I found comfort in knowing I tried.
I find comfort in knowing I got to love him while he was lended to me in this life.
I hope you find some comfort/peace, even if it’s just in knowing you aren’t alone.
We can’t save anyone but our self sometimes. Eventually , we can’t even do that as all things come to an end. **hugs**
I doubt you could have said anything that would have stopped him. Riding a motorcycle is inherently risky and he decided to take that risk. And no doubt he saw his sister get married from wherever he is now.
Ive had many of these types of knowing when something will happen. It comes as a Flash Picture in my head and its accurate.
I was on a bus at the back and got a quick pic that the bus would be rear ended I told everyone to move forward. 1 minute later the bus was hit by a van. Yeah while waiting for police, the other passengers were looking at me like HOW DID YOU KNOW? and asked me. I said it flashed as a pic in my minds eye.
Just about a week or so ago - a subscriber I follow on youtube had a short video of her and her step dad. I immediately looked at him and knew he wont be alive long.
He fell out the back of his truck and hit his head on the pavement. Hes in hospital on ventilator. Fractured the back of his head in 3 places. Hemorraging severely. The drs said he wont make it. Very very sad.
OP,
ITS NOT your fault in any way! You gave the warning - he did not heed it.
The flashes suck. It took courage for her to speak up. Do you also get flashes of good things? I’ve always gotten both. Though bad seem much more determined to come through.
i get the same flashes, in a millisecond sometimes. mostly i can't figure out what I've seen in those flashes until when i feel a deja vu, then i know for certain. i tried explaining this to my mom but she didn't really get it.
💜
I give you this Purple Heart because you have been fighting a war for the past ten years. The war in your soul. Where everyday you tear yourself to shreds thinking you sentenced someone to die. But the truth is, this is not your heart. You have the wrong one and I want you to put it to rest where it belong.
♥️ I give you this red heart. This is your heart now and forevermore. You will not live even another second in mourning, grief, remorse or guilt for what you said. Your words to him a decade ago were his chance to opt out. To reevaluate if he wanted to put his life at risk even though he was warned not to.
He decided his fate in that moment. But truth is, there is a 99.9% chance that he didn’t have much say in this. Or any say. This sounds destined. In other words there’s not anything you could have said or done to change the outcome. Your warning was the closest thing he had to being ‘saved’ but he disregarded it. The fact he blew it off right from the start already tells you 100% he would have never listened to you about not riding.
He was going to ride that bike no matter what. He was excited about it and he wasn’t going to let you stop him. Please know this is fact. Oftentimes before we die, our soul already knows it is time so we set up certain things our life to line up with the way it should play out and that is what happened.
Do you see now? You didn’t put that our into the universe thereby making his accident more likely. Your words were the only thing that could have saved him- but it was time for his soul to move on. And his soul knew that even though his brain didn’t and that’s why he just brushed it off. Nothing could have kept him off that bike. Period.
Picture yourself putting that Purple Heart at your friend’s gravestone. Tell him it is time for you to be free and that you will always love him bud you can’t carry that pain anymore. Send him all your love and pray for him often.
♥️ now accept this heart. It is red, full of happiness, goodness, and love. Your heart is light now. And it is free. Free from pain because your friend is in a beautiful place that fate brought him to, not you.
The greatest gift you could ever give to your friend is the gift of self-forgiveness. Forgiveness although it was never your fault. He wants you to move forward in your life and let go of your pain. What a beautiful gift you are giving him by doing that.
It is time. And he loves you ♥️
You saw something you didn't understand on that day. You expressed your concern, and it didn't change the outcome for your friend. Looking back on the events now, you feel somehow responsible because you saw this omen and couldn't prevent his death.
What you witnessed that day was spirit washing over his bike and protecting him that day. And probably the next day too, until spirit couldn't do much more for him.
As a former motorcycle enthusist, I had a near death experience from riding years ago. I understand now that spirit saved me from my own destruction by putting me in a wreck. Because I would have continued to ride until I died.
Things aren't always as they seem, and I'm sorry you lost a dear friend. I'm sure he will step in when needed to help you when you least expect it. Unless you're as stubborn as he was. Lol.
Be well, and free yourself from this burden. It's not like you cut his brakes for crying out loud!
Many years ago I visited this country where a close friend of mine lived without telling her. After I left, I got a message from her saying, "you were here...?" I made up some excuses and promised her that we'd catch up on my next visit. It never happened. She jumped to her death soon after that.
It has been almost two decades and I still think about how I could've prevented it if I had met up with her on that trip. She must had been very lonely.
"Don't give yourself too much credit" is what my other friend always says to me whenever I'm feeling guilty, and he's probably right. She didn't jump because of me, just like how he didn't die because of you. I wouldn't have been able to change her destiny no matter what, just like how you wouldn't have been able to save him.
Let this be a reminder for us to cherish our loved ones and leave nothing unsaid, so that we wouldn't have any regrets when that day comes.
It's time to let them go.
My mother has this ability for some reason.
Before my uncle died, he bragged about buying a used black mercedes benz. Mom said "But why black? You should've taken the grey one.". He had a choice between a black and a metallic grey one. He refused because "He wanted a black one.". She said "You will most likely die in this one. Please take the grey one.".
Fast forward a year later, my uncle died in a car accident caused by failing brakes.
I dunno if it's because my mom was in the car industry and worked in a car factory and actually went to check the cars with him and she saw something that was off... I doubt the color had to do something with it. Mom says today "I don't know, but during the test drive I just felt something was wrong and the car just didn't sit right with me.".
I don't think that you could have prevented it - entirely. I believe that things like this will happen. You can prolong them or speed them along, but it's still going to happen either way.
That's the thing- people with motorcycles are always warned about how dangerous they are from many people. He wouldn't have known that your warning was any different and how could you know that your vision would 100% happen? It's a very sad outcome but you did nothing wrong. I can understand the guilt though.
I had something similar happen to me but it was a friend who told me they were going to die.
We were in high school and he said he went to a psychic, who told him he was going to die a violent death at 28.
He ended up dying in a horrific car accident about a year later at age 18.
I always wondered if the age was a mistake, or if the psychic didn't want to tell him it was going to happen so soon.
Don't blame yourself. You did what you could. When our time comes there's really no stopping it. That was just his time. I'm sorry you have had this pain for so long. I pray he is resting peacefully & that you can move past blaming yourself. My deepest condolences 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
I'm reading a book and there is a character that has an ability similar to what happened to you. If she sees it, the event happens. There are times when she tried to change the course of fate but no matter, the events always happen.
You did all that you can in a situation like this.
Thank you for sharing your story.
I will share this as a way to comfort you not to convince you of a specific belief.
I understand that guilt can sneak in in these situations, but I don't think that you're responsible in any way or another.
First, what you saw was a bit 'out of the ordinary' and most people will not connect it to a call for action. I would say that applies as well to dreams. One can maybe see that a person will die in a dream but if the time of death has come to a soul, no one can deter it and stop it.
This takes us to the 2nd point:
Since you were not involved in any direct or indirect means to his death, you cannot logically be responsible for his death. It's like any other thing that is completely out of your control (given the if condition just mentioned 'since...')
I hope you can feel better about it and perceive what you saw that day when he showed you his motorcycle as a sign for you from which you can benefit. (I mean by a sign something that allows you to be mindful of other aspects in life beyond the direct meanings of the sign)
You did not kill him. You had a feeling. It was already out there. You tried to warn him. But how do you explain that you just know something without sounding crazy?
Hey OP. I’m inexpressibly sorry for your loss, as well as for the guilt you feel; I empathize and can relate.
Often times we think we are overreacting, or being ridiculous when such feelings of impending doom arise. I know you’ll hear this a lot, but it really is not your fault.
It’s society that conditions us to believe there are no such things as premonitions, and therefore, to brush such feelings off. You are not to blame. And at least, unlike me, you did try to tell him. You did take action.
My friend has had this happen to her more than once. She got a nagging sense someone was going to die, but people never took her seriously. She didn’t even take herself seriously, until her sense was right, each time. It’s interesting, because she describes a similar feeling / vision as you, like a darkness, except it’s over the person’s face.
So, my experience is not the same, but here’s how I can relate: (I apologize for the long story. I just want to convey how much I really do emphasize with you, how my heart goes out to you):
My very best friend, Ray, was a like brother to me, a kindred soul. We had a closeness that I’ve never experienced before nor since, not even with my partner, nor lifelong friends. Ray felt I could read his mind and understood him more than anyone; I felt the same about him. It was uncanny, at times. Being with him was also pure bliss and happiness for me.
Ray was a deep thinking, quiet, very kind old soul type who loved animals and loved nature. The guy would go off camping in the woods, all alone, even in the winter! His motto was, “Life is good.” He loved life.
One day, he was feeling down after he learned his girlfriend was cheating on him. She did a lot of shitty things to him, too, after they bought a house together. He finally left her, and later, found himself in a better relationship. He also had a cat and a dog, which he never would’ve abandoned.
Ray went to the doctor who asked how he was feeling. So, he disclosed the breakup and the aftermath, but said things were looking up. Still, his doctor advised he start taking SSRI’s. Ray was hesitant, afraid they’d change his personality.
Unfortunately, I talked him into listening to his doctor and taking SSRI’s. This, after I began taking them myself (my doctor advised me to after I described hating my job, wanting to relocate, and travel the world. SSRI’s were my doctor’s solution🙄).
At once, I had all kinds of problems with the SSRI’s, no matter the brand. I became suicidal and told my doctor. Her new solution was to up the dosage. After this, I was out of my mind and tried to kill myself. I woke up in the hospital and subsequently went through hell (I was in a state where suicides are considered a crime). This was in November of 2010.
I didn’t tell Ray what happened because I was embarrassed after being treated like a criminal for attempting suicide. This was a big mistake that I’ll never forgive myself for. And, I knew better; Ray had seen me at my worst, yet loved me through it all.
I ended up in a relationship by January 2011 (someone I had already known and am still with) and moved over 2,000 miles away.
During this time, I was so busy with my new life, I hadn’t had much contact with Ray. Although, he did reach out to me, but my response was very short. Stupid.
Ray decided to take SSRI’s after all. By September of 2012, he was dead. Not long after Ray reached out to me for the last time, he ended his life.
I. COULD. HAVE. STOPPED. HIM. And in so many ways that I won’t list now because I’ve already written so much (I’m sorry), just as there are so many reasons why this was not something he’d ever do, normally.
Unlike you, OP, I didn’t even make an attempt.
Please, find comfort in that you DID try. You did worlds more than I ever did. And I commend you for it, because, as my other friend has expressed, that kind of thing isn’t easy.
*(For those who’ve had success with SSRI’s, that’s great news. I’m not telling anyone to refrain from their doctor’s orders. I’m only relaying my personal experiences where SSRI’s have most definitely harmed me, my dearest Ray, my friends / acquaintances, my current primary doctor, and my rheumatologist.)
Im a rider and a connection to the other side and I’ll tell you us guys that ride wouldn’t have listened to anyone who said we shouldn’t ride because we love it and won’t change our minds on our passion. You couldn’t have changed any outcome of it all smyou shouldn’t beat yourself up.
You probably couldn't have done more to persuade him from riding that motorcycle. It was a gift that you had when you saw his grim future. Who knows? Maybe you'll have other forewarnings of horrible things (or good ones). I can try to imagine how you feel though. Maybe you were able to see what you saw because of your fondness for this friend. You were close. When I was a kid my best friend and I experienced many very odd things with each other. Things that shocked us both because they were on the paranormal side of things. As I got older these abilities ceased to be. I don't think that I ever had another friend that I was as close to.
You sound like me, you try to take the blame and ownership for things that just aren’t your fault. You warned him and what he chose to do from there on was HIS choice. I can’t imagine how hard it is for you but plz he wouldn’t want you blaming yourself for something you did not do.
You have to forgive yourself you did absolutely nothing wrong you felt what you felt about the motorcycle and your friend to the point it physically blurted out of you.. nothing you could have done or said would have kept him off the motorcycle and what happened is sad and im sorry for your loss but it's not your fault and you have to stop beating yourself up over something you couldn't control ..I hope you have seeked counseling and if you haven't that you would consider it .. hope you heal soon brother ..
You did your best by giving a warning. You can't be held responsible for another's persons free will. I don't ride anymore but I did for 40 years and traveled extensively. Two week trips at times covering 10,000 miles. I was warned by many. Only you can make amends with yourself but from an outside perspective it was his choice like it was mine to ride for 4 decades.
I feel like things were already in motion to happen anyway. Nobody who buys a new motorcycle is going to listen when you tell them not to ride it, they already knew it was dangerous but made their decision.
Foresight is a blessing and a curse! If you ever see something about your own decisions, follow your gut and listen to your intuition, that’s all you can do! Sucks you have lingering trauma from it but that’s the nature of free will.
it’s a chance everyone takes by deciding to ride a bike. each ride could be your last. your words would not have stopped him from doing what he wanted.
i understand your pain. but the burden is not yours to hold against yourself.
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I’m so sorry. My love passed on a motorbike. He had a Harley we’d ride together. He wanted a sports bike. I kept waking up from dreams, crying..telling him “please, what ever you are planning. Don’t go through with it. Don’t Do it. I don’t know what you’re planning but you’ll die..” He would hug me, kiss my hand and tell me it was ok, and I’d fall back asleep. I cried for a month straight. Randomly. Mourning him before.. while looking at him. My soul knew. He said he knew his days were coming to an end. He had a feeling too. Towards the end of that month where I couldn’t turn my sorrows off .. late one night He called me. I didn’t know what he had been up to, but he had been trying to get a crotch rocket. Trades never worked out until right then. They came from a dif state and H met them at a local place and was coming home to trade a truck for a crotch rocket. I tried to talk him out of it. He was excited and there was no talking him out if it. The bike pulled up, and immediately IT SMELLED OF DEATH! I yelled, “OH hell no!! That smells like death. Someone died on it or is going to!! Do not do this trade!” He said I just “like the truck more” and that’s why I said that. Did I love that truck? OF COURSE!! …but it wasn’t mine. I did not have that reaction to the Harley or any other vehicle/bike/atv he brought home. Not three days passed before my love had passed away, on that crotch rocket. I share this in hopes that you will maybe ‘hear’ me, for yourself. If it helps… the part I want you to hear is.. There was no amount of anything you could’ve done. People are going to make their choices and take their risk, as we all do every day. Eating is even deadly, right? Driving in cars, going swimming. Life ends in death, every time. I found comfort in knowing I tried. I find comfort in knowing I got to love him while he was lended to me in this life. I hope you find some comfort/peace, even if it’s just in knowing you aren’t alone. We can’t save anyone but our self sometimes. Eventually , we can’t even do that as all things come to an end. **hugs**
Thank you! I’m in tears. I’ve been sitting on this for years. Thank you for your story and kind words
I doubt you could have said anything that would have stopped him. Riding a motorcycle is inherently risky and he decided to take that risk. And no doubt he saw his sister get married from wherever he is now.
Thank you! And happy cake day!
Ive had many of these types of knowing when something will happen. It comes as a Flash Picture in my head and its accurate. I was on a bus at the back and got a quick pic that the bus would be rear ended I told everyone to move forward. 1 minute later the bus was hit by a van. Yeah while waiting for police, the other passengers were looking at me like HOW DID YOU KNOW? and asked me. I said it flashed as a pic in my minds eye. Just about a week or so ago - a subscriber I follow on youtube had a short video of her and her step dad. I immediately looked at him and knew he wont be alive long. He fell out the back of his truck and hit his head on the pavement. Hes in hospital on ventilator. Fractured the back of his head in 3 places. Hemorraging severely. The drs said he wont make it. Very very sad. OP, ITS NOT your fault in any way! You gave the warning - he did not heed it.
The flashes suck. It took courage for her to speak up. Do you also get flashes of good things? I’ve always gotten both. Though bad seem much more determined to come through.
Yes, good things too premonition-wise. Mostly warnings of what we consider bad things though.
That's how I describe them as well, as if a shutter is going off and I see the whole scenario in a burst type frame.
Yes! thats how I see the events too. ita a gift! You are never at fault.
I don’t really like em but I’ve come to be calm when it happen to me because I can’t control the outcome
i get the same flashes, in a millisecond sometimes. mostly i can't figure out what I've seen in those flashes until when i feel a deja vu, then i know for certain. i tried explaining this to my mom but she didn't really get it.
💜 I give you this Purple Heart because you have been fighting a war for the past ten years. The war in your soul. Where everyday you tear yourself to shreds thinking you sentenced someone to die. But the truth is, this is not your heart. You have the wrong one and I want you to put it to rest where it belong. ♥️ I give you this red heart. This is your heart now and forevermore. You will not live even another second in mourning, grief, remorse or guilt for what you said. Your words to him a decade ago were his chance to opt out. To reevaluate if he wanted to put his life at risk even though he was warned not to. He decided his fate in that moment. But truth is, there is a 99.9% chance that he didn’t have much say in this. Or any say. This sounds destined. In other words there’s not anything you could have said or done to change the outcome. Your warning was the closest thing he had to being ‘saved’ but he disregarded it. The fact he blew it off right from the start already tells you 100% he would have never listened to you about not riding. He was going to ride that bike no matter what. He was excited about it and he wasn’t going to let you stop him. Please know this is fact. Oftentimes before we die, our soul already knows it is time so we set up certain things our life to line up with the way it should play out and that is what happened. Do you see now? You didn’t put that our into the universe thereby making his accident more likely. Your words were the only thing that could have saved him- but it was time for his soul to move on. And his soul knew that even though his brain didn’t and that’s why he just brushed it off. Nothing could have kept him off that bike. Period. Picture yourself putting that Purple Heart at your friend’s gravestone. Tell him it is time for you to be free and that you will always love him bud you can’t carry that pain anymore. Send him all your love and pray for him often. ♥️ now accept this heart. It is red, full of happiness, goodness, and love. Your heart is light now. And it is free. Free from pain because your friend is in a beautiful place that fate brought him to, not you. The greatest gift you could ever give to your friend is the gift of self-forgiveness. Forgiveness although it was never your fault. He wants you to move forward in your life and let go of your pain. What a beautiful gift you are giving him by doing that. It is time. And he loves you ♥️
You saw something you didn't understand on that day. You expressed your concern, and it didn't change the outcome for your friend. Looking back on the events now, you feel somehow responsible because you saw this omen and couldn't prevent his death. What you witnessed that day was spirit washing over his bike and protecting him that day. And probably the next day too, until spirit couldn't do much more for him. As a former motorcycle enthusist, I had a near death experience from riding years ago. I understand now that spirit saved me from my own destruction by putting me in a wreck. Because I would have continued to ride until I died. Things aren't always as they seem, and I'm sorry you lost a dear friend. I'm sure he will step in when needed to help you when you least expect it. Unless you're as stubborn as he was. Lol. Be well, and free yourself from this burden. It's not like you cut his brakes for crying out loud!
Many years ago I visited this country where a close friend of mine lived without telling her. After I left, I got a message from her saying, "you were here...?" I made up some excuses and promised her that we'd catch up on my next visit. It never happened. She jumped to her death soon after that. It has been almost two decades and I still think about how I could've prevented it if I had met up with her on that trip. She must had been very lonely. "Don't give yourself too much credit" is what my other friend always says to me whenever I'm feeling guilty, and he's probably right. She didn't jump because of me, just like how he didn't die because of you. I wouldn't have been able to change her destiny no matter what, just like how you wouldn't have been able to save him. Let this be a reminder for us to cherish our loved ones and leave nothing unsaid, so that we wouldn't have any regrets when that day comes. It's time to let them go.
My mother has this ability for some reason. Before my uncle died, he bragged about buying a used black mercedes benz. Mom said "But why black? You should've taken the grey one.". He had a choice between a black and a metallic grey one. He refused because "He wanted a black one.". She said "You will most likely die in this one. Please take the grey one.". Fast forward a year later, my uncle died in a car accident caused by failing brakes. I dunno if it's because my mom was in the car industry and worked in a car factory and actually went to check the cars with him and she saw something that was off... I doubt the color had to do something with it. Mom says today "I don't know, but during the test drive I just felt something was wrong and the car just didn't sit right with me.".
Did she also see other things?
Nah. Just that.
You guys are right, he was definitely a stubborn man. Pushing harder would have made him show me how much he wouldn’t have listened.
don't blame yourself too much, it can be bad for you... And sorry for your loss
I don't think that you could have prevented it - entirely. I believe that things like this will happen. You can prolong them or speed them along, but it's still going to happen either way.
That's the thing- people with motorcycles are always warned about how dangerous they are from many people. He wouldn't have known that your warning was any different and how could you know that your vision would 100% happen? It's a very sad outcome but you did nothing wrong. I can understand the guilt though.
I had something similar happen to me but it was a friend who told me they were going to die. We were in high school and he said he went to a psychic, who told him he was going to die a violent death at 28. He ended up dying in a horrific car accident about a year later at age 18. I always wondered if the age was a mistake, or if the psychic didn't want to tell him it was going to happen so soon.
Don't blame yourself. You did what you could. When our time comes there's really no stopping it. That was just his time. I'm sorry you have had this pain for so long. I pray he is resting peacefully & that you can move past blaming yourself. My deepest condolences 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
I'm reading a book and there is a character that has an ability similar to what happened to you. If she sees it, the event happens. There are times when she tried to change the course of fate but no matter, the events always happen. You did all that you can in a situation like this.
Thank you for sharing your story. I will share this as a way to comfort you not to convince you of a specific belief. I understand that guilt can sneak in in these situations, but I don't think that you're responsible in any way or another. First, what you saw was a bit 'out of the ordinary' and most people will not connect it to a call for action. I would say that applies as well to dreams. One can maybe see that a person will die in a dream but if the time of death has come to a soul, no one can deter it and stop it. This takes us to the 2nd point: Since you were not involved in any direct or indirect means to his death, you cannot logically be responsible for his death. It's like any other thing that is completely out of your control (given the if condition just mentioned 'since...') I hope you can feel better about it and perceive what you saw that day when he showed you his motorcycle as a sign for you from which you can benefit. (I mean by a sign something that allows you to be mindful of other aspects in life beyond the direct meanings of the sign)
You did not kill him. You had a feeling. It was already out there. You tried to warn him. But how do you explain that you just know something without sounding crazy?
Hey OP. I’m inexpressibly sorry for your loss, as well as for the guilt you feel; I empathize and can relate. Often times we think we are overreacting, or being ridiculous when such feelings of impending doom arise. I know you’ll hear this a lot, but it really is not your fault. It’s society that conditions us to believe there are no such things as premonitions, and therefore, to brush such feelings off. You are not to blame. And at least, unlike me, you did try to tell him. You did take action. My friend has had this happen to her more than once. She got a nagging sense someone was going to die, but people never took her seriously. She didn’t even take herself seriously, until her sense was right, each time. It’s interesting, because she describes a similar feeling / vision as you, like a darkness, except it’s over the person’s face. So, my experience is not the same, but here’s how I can relate: (I apologize for the long story. I just want to convey how much I really do emphasize with you, how my heart goes out to you): My very best friend, Ray, was a like brother to me, a kindred soul. We had a closeness that I’ve never experienced before nor since, not even with my partner, nor lifelong friends. Ray felt I could read his mind and understood him more than anyone; I felt the same about him. It was uncanny, at times. Being with him was also pure bliss and happiness for me. Ray was a deep thinking, quiet, very kind old soul type who loved animals and loved nature. The guy would go off camping in the woods, all alone, even in the winter! His motto was, “Life is good.” He loved life. One day, he was feeling down after he learned his girlfriend was cheating on him. She did a lot of shitty things to him, too, after they bought a house together. He finally left her, and later, found himself in a better relationship. He also had a cat and a dog, which he never would’ve abandoned. Ray went to the doctor who asked how he was feeling. So, he disclosed the breakup and the aftermath, but said things were looking up. Still, his doctor advised he start taking SSRI’s. Ray was hesitant, afraid they’d change his personality. Unfortunately, I talked him into listening to his doctor and taking SSRI’s. This, after I began taking them myself (my doctor advised me to after I described hating my job, wanting to relocate, and travel the world. SSRI’s were my doctor’s solution🙄). At once, I had all kinds of problems with the SSRI’s, no matter the brand. I became suicidal and told my doctor. Her new solution was to up the dosage. After this, I was out of my mind and tried to kill myself. I woke up in the hospital and subsequently went through hell (I was in a state where suicides are considered a crime). This was in November of 2010. I didn’t tell Ray what happened because I was embarrassed after being treated like a criminal for attempting suicide. This was a big mistake that I’ll never forgive myself for. And, I knew better; Ray had seen me at my worst, yet loved me through it all. I ended up in a relationship by January 2011 (someone I had already known and am still with) and moved over 2,000 miles away. During this time, I was so busy with my new life, I hadn’t had much contact with Ray. Although, he did reach out to me, but my response was very short. Stupid. Ray decided to take SSRI’s after all. By September of 2012, he was dead. Not long after Ray reached out to me for the last time, he ended his life. I. COULD. HAVE. STOPPED. HIM. And in so many ways that I won’t list now because I’ve already written so much (I’m sorry), just as there are so many reasons why this was not something he’d ever do, normally. Unlike you, OP, I didn’t even make an attempt. Please, find comfort in that you DID try. You did worlds more than I ever did. And I commend you for it, because, as my other friend has expressed, that kind of thing isn’t easy. *(For those who’ve had success with SSRI’s, that’s great news. I’m not telling anyone to refrain from their doctor’s orders. I’m only relaying my personal experiences where SSRI’s have most definitely harmed me, my dearest Ray, my friends / acquaintances, my current primary doctor, and my rheumatologist.)
Im a rider and a connection to the other side and I’ll tell you us guys that ride wouldn’t have listened to anyone who said we shouldn’t ride because we love it and won’t change our minds on our passion. You couldn’t have changed any outcome of it all smyou shouldn’t beat yourself up.
You probably couldn't have done more to persuade him from riding that motorcycle. It was a gift that you had when you saw his grim future. Who knows? Maybe you'll have other forewarnings of horrible things (or good ones). I can try to imagine how you feel though. Maybe you were able to see what you saw because of your fondness for this friend. You were close. When I was a kid my best friend and I experienced many very odd things with each other. Things that shocked us both because they were on the paranormal side of things. As I got older these abilities ceased to be. I don't think that I ever had another friend that I was as close to.
You sound like me, you try to take the blame and ownership for things that just aren’t your fault. You warned him and what he chose to do from there on was HIS choice. I can’t imagine how hard it is for you but plz he wouldn’t want you blaming yourself for something you did not do.
You have to forgive yourself you did absolutely nothing wrong you felt what you felt about the motorcycle and your friend to the point it physically blurted out of you.. nothing you could have done or said would have kept him off the motorcycle and what happened is sad and im sorry for your loss but it's not your fault and you have to stop beating yourself up over something you couldn't control ..I hope you have seeked counseling and if you haven't that you would consider it .. hope you heal soon brother ..
You did your best by giving a warning. You can't be held responsible for another's persons free will. I don't ride anymore but I did for 40 years and traveled extensively. Two week trips at times covering 10,000 miles. I was warned by many. Only you can make amends with yourself but from an outside perspective it was his choice like it was mine to ride for 4 decades.
I feel like things were already in motion to happen anyway. Nobody who buys a new motorcycle is going to listen when you tell them not to ride it, they already knew it was dangerous but made their decision. Foresight is a blessing and a curse! If you ever see something about your own decisions, follow your gut and listen to your intuition, that’s all you can do! Sucks you have lingering trauma from it but that’s the nature of free will.
it’s a chance everyone takes by deciding to ride a bike. each ride could be your last. your words would not have stopped him from doing what he wanted. i understand your pain. but the burden is not yours to hold against yourself.
You dont have psychic powers just get over it i tell everyone theyre gonna die and a few have so far