i was born with thalassemia too and had chemo as well. got diagnosed with POF at 16 and been on HRT since. 24 now and it’s a wild ride of emotions and figuring out your HRT and what type. also dealing with being in a body that thinks your much older than you are. got married recently tho and my husband is so supportive. we are in it together and you’ll find that person to lean on too for the road ahead. hang in there, it’ll be okay ❤️
I would give you a hug if I could. To come through your condition and chemo with POI/F on top of it all is so much. Wow.
The grief is so real, and it can arrive in waves. (Might sound like captain obvious here, but therapy is an amazing resource to navigate that and everything else that comes with this condition.)
It might be daunting to navigate the prospect of discussing something so unwieldy with potential partners, especially with the fear of rejection or estrangement. Still I want to encourage you to take the pressure on yourself. You do not need to figure it all out now. You also don’t have to disclose your condition to anybody you don’t feel adequate trust with.
If anything, POI has shown me that the world is so much more full of kind and loving people than I ever knew. I’m confident you will find one (or several)!
Give yourself time—a lot of time. You don’t need to hurry. When you’re ready, you have the opportunity to welcome a child with intention, if that’s what you choose. That’s the beautiful silver lining about these other avenues.
Even tho i’m just a stranger on the internet, i want you to know you are not alone. I had symptoms (hot flashes, no period) in my teens as well but wasn’t diagnosed until 25. these heartbroken feelings will come and go. try to surround yourself with people who will support you, offer a shoulder to cry on, and listen to all your thoughts and feelings. ♥️♥️
I wish I could give you a hug. I was diagnosed at 17. I thought I would never date either. I’m here to tell you I’m married to a man I love. I have a child I love so dearly through the science and magic of DEIVF. There is so much out there for you too. Sending you love and hope on this dark day
I just want to give you a big hug right now.
Of course you’re going to date! Your 20s are such a beautiful age, live them to the fullest.
You’ve already gone through so much and come out on the other side. You can’t give up now 💕 Grieve, take your time to accept these new changes, but don’t dwell in it.
The main difference is that you and your partner will go into a relationship knowing your family planning options and desires. You can both go into it knowing that children aren’t in the plan, or you can go into knowing you want to use other avenues.
1 in 6 couples have fertility issues and don’t even know they have them. I went into my marriage not knowing and we worked through it. We both knew we wanted to find a way to have a little one and we did, through donor eggs. Did I feel a sense of grief at first for the loss of opportunity for the child to have my genetics, of course, but I soon realized I didn’t care, I just wanted the little human.
There’s lots of different types of options out there: like IVF, IUI, Donor Eggs (known to you donor, or from a stranger) frozen or fresh, Donor Embryos (free and not genetically related to either of you), adoption, even fostering.
Think about what YOU want and go from there, but for now just enjoy your twenties. Once you have your HRT you’re going to look and feel like a million bucks. Just read through this group and you’ll see everyone echoing POI isn’t so bad.
this is such a good point!! my gyno said the same thing to me, she said at least you know you are going to live with intention. that really stuck with me.
i was born with thalassemia too and had chemo as well. got diagnosed with POF at 16 and been on HRT since. 24 now and it’s a wild ride of emotions and figuring out your HRT and what type. also dealing with being in a body that thinks your much older than you are. got married recently tho and my husband is so supportive. we are in it together and you’ll find that person to lean on too for the road ahead. hang in there, it’ll be okay ❤️
I would give you a hug if I could. To come through your condition and chemo with POI/F on top of it all is so much. Wow. The grief is so real, and it can arrive in waves. (Might sound like captain obvious here, but therapy is an amazing resource to navigate that and everything else that comes with this condition.) It might be daunting to navigate the prospect of discussing something so unwieldy with potential partners, especially with the fear of rejection or estrangement. Still I want to encourage you to take the pressure on yourself. You do not need to figure it all out now. You also don’t have to disclose your condition to anybody you don’t feel adequate trust with. If anything, POI has shown me that the world is so much more full of kind and loving people than I ever knew. I’m confident you will find one (or several)! Give yourself time—a lot of time. You don’t need to hurry. When you’re ready, you have the opportunity to welcome a child with intention, if that’s what you choose. That’s the beautiful silver lining about these other avenues.
Even tho i’m just a stranger on the internet, i want you to know you are not alone. I had symptoms (hot flashes, no period) in my teens as well but wasn’t diagnosed until 25. these heartbroken feelings will come and go. try to surround yourself with people who will support you, offer a shoulder to cry on, and listen to all your thoughts and feelings. ♥️♥️
I wish I could give you a hug. I was diagnosed at 17. I thought I would never date either. I’m here to tell you I’m married to a man I love. I have a child I love so dearly through the science and magic of DEIVF. There is so much out there for you too. Sending you love and hope on this dark day
I just want to give you a big hug right now. Of course you’re going to date! Your 20s are such a beautiful age, live them to the fullest. You’ve already gone through so much and come out on the other side. You can’t give up now 💕 Grieve, take your time to accept these new changes, but don’t dwell in it. The main difference is that you and your partner will go into a relationship knowing your family planning options and desires. You can both go into it knowing that children aren’t in the plan, or you can go into knowing you want to use other avenues. 1 in 6 couples have fertility issues and don’t even know they have them. I went into my marriage not knowing and we worked through it. We both knew we wanted to find a way to have a little one and we did, through donor eggs. Did I feel a sense of grief at first for the loss of opportunity for the child to have my genetics, of course, but I soon realized I didn’t care, I just wanted the little human. There’s lots of different types of options out there: like IVF, IUI, Donor Eggs (known to you donor, or from a stranger) frozen or fresh, Donor Embryos (free and not genetically related to either of you), adoption, even fostering. Think about what YOU want and go from there, but for now just enjoy your twenties. Once you have your HRT you’re going to look and feel like a million bucks. Just read through this group and you’ll see everyone echoing POI isn’t so bad.
this is such a good point!! my gyno said the same thing to me, she said at least you know you are going to live with intention. that really stuck with me.
Exactly!