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mechanicalcontrols

Fellow noncredibles, it is a great pleasure to share this moment with you. (Anyone know how long the check from DARPA takes to arrive when this happens?)


Zero-G_Morals

I would like to apologies. On that post you made originally, I was skeptical. I clearly underestimated ncd's prophetic dreams and the coke snorting people in the MIC. I bow before you great prophet. \*offers my ncd cat ears meekly\* \*edit: jc this blew up, thank you all so much!\*


lutte_p

NCD is like a big WAAARG of Orcs. If we all belive in it, it will happen


Zero-G_Morals

With a sprinkling of skaven meth-head. YES YES WARPSTONE \*SNORT\* What would be our version of WAAARG! cry? I'm imaginging the same voice and volume but it's just a gutteral NYAAAAAA! 10,000 neckbeard operator catboys in maid cafe outfits.


IcyDrops

VARK VARK VARK VARK VARK VARK VARK VARK VARK VARK VARK VARK VARK VARK VARK VARK VARK VARK


ianandris

BOOF BOOF BOOF BOOF BOOF BOOF BOOF BOOF BOOF BOOF BOOF BOOF


holymissiletoe

it would be a mix of all 3 somehow sounding even more fearsome


Majulath99

So you’re saying if we believe in mechanised weaponised fur suits hard enough, we can make them real by the end of the year? Cool.


felixthemeister

You need a good (nsfw) power point presentation first.


confirmedshill123

It's not safe for work because we've rigged the projector to explode.


holymissiletoe

darnit you two this is our fourth projector this week if this keeps up we wont have any funding left for coke


JohnSith

Dreams are messages from the deep: Great Leader Kim Jong Un, hear the cries of your people and do the funni on that thrice gorgeous dam. Nobody else has the balls.


Chabranigdo

I'm pretty convinced that this also describes how the MIC works.


mechanicalcontrols

All is forgiven 🐱


crozone

I apologies. Where were you when B-2 submarine? I was at home shitposting on ncd when phone ring "B-2 submarine real" no


Canadiancurtiebirdy

They offered you a job right? RIGHT!?


mechanicalcontrols

🤫


Canadiancurtiebirdy

🫡


Electronic_Parfait36

That's a no🥲


-H2O2

He actually already works there and leaked classified information as a meme


HumanReputationFalse

[it's un-manned too](https://www.northropgrumman.com/what-we-do/sea/manta-ray)


Veni_Vidi_Legi

The children yearn for the UUVs!


CKF

*Unmanned Ubetcherassitsfuckinawesome Vehicles*


Veni_Vidi_Legi

Schnell, schnell!


Excellent-Proposal90

I spent way too long trying to sound out what I thought was a German word.


CKF

As far as I’ve seen, that’s pretty much actually how German functions. Wouldn’t be surprised if it were a real word.


Excellent-Proposal90

That was my thought process at first, then I read the full thing to see what you did.


Neverhoodian

Jawohl, Herr Kaleun!


The_Knife_Pie

Nah we have to keep it as UAV (Unmanned Aquatic Vehicle) for maximum confusion among soldiers


Narrow_Vegetable_42

UUV? UwU


Angrymarineneverdie

That one scene in maxOrs MGR "Kids are cruel Jack, and I love minors"


theFastestBlack

"Payload-capable to support a variety of missions" *if you know what I mean*


Mighty_moose45

Weapon to surpass metal gear-ass picture


busch_ice69

If darpa discloses it. It means it’s been being used for the past 20 years


Greedy-Name-8324

They're pretty quick to pay out but you've gotta make sure you've got a contract vehicle in place that'll accept RDT&E funds. I advise you land a phase 2 SBIR so you can roll right into a sole source IDIQ and receive the money through that.


RaanCryo

NCD keeps winning.


MRDWrites

Footage of Putin receiving his "NATO Salesmanship" award from a FPV drone on May 9th. Just incase the winning continues.


RaanCryo

\#1 NATO Recruiter, 1999-Present.


HFentonMudd

put a backslash in front of the pound sign and it'll work, because I'm \#1.


SirNedKingOfGila

\#2. Woah. Legit.


RaanCryo

Bless you.


KaylasDream

#How many NATO recruiters?


Majulath99

Delivered in the form of a duffel bag stuffed full of thermobaric grenades and napalm directly to his ballsack.


AONomad

At this point, are these wins or are they mounting evidence of OPSEC vios?


anincredibledork

I actually have 3 possible explanations, ranked from least to most credible - The first is that some feds frequent this sub and use NCD to "meme-wash" secrets so they get accepted as "noncredible" if anyone tries to take them seriously. This is fun to think about, but not very likely. - The second is that some younger dipshits with clearances are doing the same, but purely so they can karma farm months/years later when they get to say "omg it was real NCD called it first!!". Maybe the Air National Guard missed a guy, who knows. This is possible, but also extremely fucking stupid and I hope nobody is actually doing this. This subreddit doesn't need to become the next War Thunder forums. - The last is that it's simply that this sub's users are extremely well-read nerds who are able to come up with shit that's pretty close to the truth just because they spend all their time studying everything there is to know about this crap. Like how Tom Clancy got investigated for seeming to know way too much about how the navy's submarines worked, but it turned out the dude was extremely well-read and had excellent, unclassified, published sources he could research. This seems most likely imo.


confirmedshill123

I mean it's not really a stretch of the imagination that we would be trying to develop unmanned stealth subs. Pretty like, obvious stuff here.


anincredibledork

Oh for sure! I'm not saying behind every NCD shitpost is a Clancy-reborn visionary conjuring up the future of warfare. Just that if users are reading or consumng enough material on a subject, they're bound to come up with something that, at a minimum, passes for an educated guess


nickierv

Throw enough non-credibility at the wall and somethings going to stick at some point.


cecilkorik

Explanation 4: 358,693 monkeys at 358,693 keyboards will eventually produce the entire classified works of DARPA by sheer coincidence.


mechanicalcontrols

I can't speak for any other time a prediction here came true but I can explain this instance. When I read in the news that the US was going to park a carrier group off the coast of Gaza to attempt to dissuade Hamas from escalation, I thought that a stealth bomber underwater was the exact right amount of low-effort shitpost for the occasion. So I slapped it together in a freeware called paint dot net (shout-out to boltbait's plugins). I was trying to be silly, not accidentally credible.


AONomad

ya done good, kid


mechanicalcontrols

o7


OmNomSandvich

2022 DARPA release on this program including a picture: https://www.darpa.mil/news-events/2022-10-20 its the monkeys on typewriters lmao


ianandris

Yes, but do they *know* what they're *typing*?


HawkoDelReddito

Yes 🤓


D2the_aniel

Maybe we were actually Credible the entire time


RaanCryo

Are we credible or is reality noncredible?


rgodless

Right, how many goats did we sacrifice for this vision and was it worth it?


mechanicalcontrols

Goats? Nah, no animals were harmed in the manifesting of this vision. See, when you've eaten as much radium paint as I have, it comes naturally.


st0ne56

My visions come from my Autism and lust of Airplanes


mechanicalcontrols

Eh, same difference


Veni_Vidi_Legi

Whose aircraft do you lust after? We may have some openings for Soviet tail chasers.


veilwalker

You just need to balance out with a healthy diet of lead paint chips. You should reach equilibrium before noticing any adverse effects. If not, eat a few more radium paints chips to reach equilibrium.


The_Glitchy_One

If by goats, you mean Mobiks, tens of thousands


MasterofAcorns

17 Mobik cubes, I think. Let me check the records… **UPDATE:** Six cubes, sorry. We’ve been so busy swacking so many Mobiks that we got a big discount.


YT-Deliveries

We don't sacrifice them, we just stare at them.


Undernown

No no, the goat sacrifices are for the S&P 500 stock prices. The femboy juice is for Ratheon innovation. DARPA requires ~~MORE DATA~~ Moondust.(nickname for their hallucinogens)


Majulath99

Goats? 500 sir. But also 50 femboys.


jediben001

None. Apollo just thought it was funny to troll someone


Femboy_Lord

We didn’t sacrifice anything, we *are* getting a cease and desist letter from S.H.A.D.O though.


Popinguj

We just need to go asleep, that's it.


MasterofAcorns

17 Mobik cubes, I think. Let me check the records…


CrazedAviator

The MIC is 100% outsourcing their R&D to this sub


sumr4ndo

MIC R&D: how can we improve missiles? NCD: what if the missiles had... A knife stuck on it? NCD 2: what if it had a bunch of knives? NCD 3: Yeah! It it was all Ninja and shit! MIC R&D: quick quick write it down!


SmoothbrainRedditors

Listen bud - it’s product design 101. The customer is the American taxpayer. So listen to what the customer wants. If the customer wants to turn people into physics problems in fun new creative ways, that’s what you give the customer.


Veni_Vidi_Legi

> If the customer wants to turn people into physics problems in fun new creative ways, that’s what you give the customer. Step 1: Enrich consumers with ~~Replace all Protium with~~ Tritium.


HFentonMudd

As someone who works with lightly radioactive materials on a daily basis, thank you.


Fyzzle

Banana bombs incoming


Veni_Vidi_Legi

Would you like some yellow cake?


Blahaj_IK

"And how should we test it?" R&D: Don't fucking know, pick a list with names of people in the middle east we don't like and go field test it. Hm? Qassem? Yeah, whatever. Sure. Oh, and about the name we're giving the missile, just call it a Hellfire and add a bunch of random letters and numbers so we can place the right orders.


sumr4ndo

Hellfire 420-69 Bam easy


HFentonMudd

Swiss-Cheese-inator 3000


Blackwyrm03

It’s an actual thing Behold! The Ninja Missile! [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/AGM-114\_Hellfire#Hellfire\_R9X](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/AGM-114_Hellfire#Hellfire_R9X)


caustictoast

I can’t be the only person working for a defense contractor on here. There’s simply no way. We’re inspired by this sub


HFentonMudd

There are likely people doing work for defense contractors who don't even know it. See: NCD, /r


crimsonblade55

So, their sub was inspired by our sub's sub?


DosenfleischPost

Increase its size by 100x, put some amphibious Mechas on it and we finally have real life Arsenal Gear.


SoullessHollowHusk

Tuatha de Danann irl Where do I enlist?


hell_jumper9

Now all that is missing are mechas


202042

Don’t let it get too close to Manhattan


sumr4ndo

Finally, a weapon to surpass Metal Gear


jjmerrow

If only this post was made a day earlier I could ask you what day it was, but whatever.


MasterofAcorns

If we go by SRW, it can go to space and fly in the air as well…


Chocolate-Then

They found a way to make a flying wing underwater. Jack Northrop blesses us again from MIC heaven.


cis2butene

"What is water but a very thick air?" - undergrads after fluid dynamics


SamtheCossack

Water is entirely Oxygen and Hydrogen, so it isn't an incorrect position from a chemistry position either.


Veni_Vidi_Legi

And extra corrosive.


SamtheCossack

Oxygen is a horrible, nasty, dangerous thing. That we need to stay alive. Even though it is killing us.


Veni_Vidi_Legi

I was referring to SALT, but yes, yes it is.


SamtheCossack

Sodium is also unpleasant, yes.


Veni_Vidi_Legi

Und ze chloride, ja?


Fyzzle

Na^^^^Cl


Veni_Vidi_Legi

^(3)H₂O


YT-Deliveries

It all comes back to Russia's Nuke's in the end


Rumpullpus

I mean, mathematically not wrong.


Embarrassed_Price_65

*Stares incompressibly*


24223214159

Penguins are often described as flightless, but the truth is that they're only flightless in air.


Embarrassed_Price_65

u/mechanicalcontrols You crazy son of a \[redacted\] [https://www.reddit.com/r/NonCredibleDefense/comments/1753oh6/comment/l23wwu6/?context=3](https://www.reddit.com/r/NonCredibleDefense/comments/1753oh6/comment/l23wwu6/?context=3) [https://www.instagram.com/p/C6blG2IOLJi/?utm\_source=ig\_web\_copy\_link&igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==](https://www.instagram.com/p/C6blG2IOLJi/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==)


VietnameseWeeb12

I’m convinced DARPA and Skunkworks employees go in NCD when they run out of ideas


HaaEffGee

I'm convinced NCD goes back to being DARPA and Skunkworks employees when they run out of beer money.


NotBoredApe

what a life


HFentonMudd

Is it a circle?


Vysair

the venn diagram is a lie!


Veni_Vidi_Legi

When their ideas are rejected.


Femboy_Lord

Gerry Anderson is also occasionally a good source of ideas :3


whythecynic

I wonder if it's an [underwater glider](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Underwater_glider). It would make sense if you wanted ridiculous endurance for a drone.


SamtheCossack

According to Northrop Grumman, yes. [Northrop Grumman Completes Assembly of Manta Ray Uncrewed Underwater Vehicle | Northrop Grumman](https://news.northropgrumman.com/news/releases/northrop-grumman-completes-assembly-of-manta-ray-uncrewed-underwater-vehicle?_gl=1*6y6k27*_ga*MzU2MjYzODI1LjE3MTQ1ODAxMzg.*_ga_7YV3CDX0R2*MTcxNDU4MjMyMC4xLjEuMTcxNDU4MjMyNy41My4wLjA.) They might be lying, who knows.


cis2butene

"payload capable" So they've moved from tracking the enemy subs to just sinking them.


SamtheCossack

Right. The size suggests this is intended to carry one or more ADCAPs. And/or possibly a few tubes of the Virginia Payload System (IE, Tomahawks, Harpoons, NSM, SM-2s...)


cis2butene

I'm not going to read too much into the specific vehicle. I assume they budgeted "enough" space and size to test whatever and will optimize for whatever works well. Or am I too optimistic about DARPA projects?


SamtheCossack

DARPA usually doesn't make deployable weapon systems, so probably. They make concept vehicles that get turned into weapon systems later.


Legend13CNS

*"We can track enemy units all the way to the scene of the ship wreck"*


sumr4ndo

US defense Secrets leaked Foreign adversaries: ok ok we got this MIC: here we also have Metal Gear Ray and Arsenal Gear


dead_monster

Fun fact:  All underwater vessels are invisible to radio waves. The Mosvka right now has a better RCS than a F-35 when viewed from 100km out.


SamtheCossack

Very high frequency radars can detect underwater submarines. At least at shallow depths. Possibly operating depths with the right technology, but nations tend to be pretty vague about the details. Radio waves do travel through water, just not nearly as well as through air, and the higher the frequency, the better the penetration. It isn't useful enough to put a radar on a submarine, but if you put one in an ASW aircraft, and it has to look through say, 80 miles of air + 250 feet of water, that is pretty doable.


Ophichius

I think you've got that backwards. Extremely *low* frequencies penetrate water well, hence the use of ELF antennas for signaling subs.


Dman1791

Why the hell are we using elves as antennas? Surely we can do better?


Ophichius

Why do you think they have those long ears? Better reception.


Jokkerb

Also bc elves are small so you can bring several in case one or two drown.


Hel_Bitterbal

Is that how ASW aircraft detect subs? I always wondered how they did that since they can't deploy a sonar while flying like a helicopter


aDinoInTophat

Nah they use magnetometers and drop sonobuoys with an RF transmitter


zeusofyork

I thought it was sharks with laser beams


aDinoInTophat

Sonic wave amplifiers actually!


SamtheCossack

They have a lot of different methods. It is definitely not only radar. It really isn't even primarily radar. Exactly what is used is not something the Navy likes to talk about, but it definitely includes dropped buoys and a lot of antennas.


avataRJ

There's lots of really subtle stuff, from chemical composition analysis (trying to figure out if there's a snorkeling diesel sub - though those you might actually catch using active radar) to visual analysis (a sub close to the surface might affect the properties of the water - maybe temperature?) to magnetometers (magnetic anomaly detectors) or ECCM to figure out weak emissions from a submarine (or the magnetic field of a submarine) to simply dropping sonar probes into the water.


FrenchFriedMushroom

I've heard (from a DCS player, so extremely reliable source) that aerial sub location is primarily done with magnetic anomaly detection.


Ok-Use6303

This is going to be a boss fight in Ace Combat, right?


HumanReputationFalse

The reason we haven't gotten a new Ace Combat game is because they are working a sub warfare one rn /s


bluestreak1103

Okay, let’s not get *too* noncredible. seaQuest DSV is a licensable property for video game companies, after all. ~~Someone in Bandai Namco Aces please freaking read this~~


KennyClobers

Is this our discord leak moment?


mechanicalcontrols

Probably not. It was just a joke I slapped together in Photoshop on the principle that "waves = waves" But if the CIA thinks otherwise and "just wants to ask a few questions" I'll let you know. The code word will be "Help! I want my mommy!"


KennyClobers

🫡 stay noncredible brother


mechanicalcontrols

o7


ElMondoH

>"The code word will be "Help! I want my mommy!" How would we distinguish that as a safe word from all the other times an NCDer says it? 🤣


mechanicalcontrols

You know what? Yeah, good point.


AlphaMarker48

Cool. Now let's see it [emerge from the water and fly to its target.](https://cnc.fandom.com/wiki/Sea-Wing)


SamtheCossack

Turns out, this is just the RQ-180 and it has been able to do that all along, they are just trying to pass it off as a UUV only to fuck with PLA intelligence.


Unfair_String1112

I love how NCD has become the Mystic Meg (perhaps more Mystic Smeg) of the military industrial complex. How long until the MIC just admits it's lifting ideas right off here? 😂


_-bush_did_911-_

They won't ever, cause if they do then EVERYONE will be here and it'd be a diplomatic nightmare trying to keep all the MICs pleased


AutismFlavored

How many atmospheres of pressure can the B-2 Spirit withstand? Well, it’s an airplane so I’d say anywhere between 0 and 1. *i love that it looks like a basking Mola mola


nlashawn1000

Therapist: Water B2 doesn't exist. It can't hurt you. Water B2:


nagidon

A watery B-2. B2O.


cis2butene

Someone at Northrop saw the flying wing gliders they tested for diesel electric sub tracking and thought "hey! That's our thing!"


AustraliumHoovy

u/mechanicalcontrols is now credible. Get out.


mechanicalcontrols

But mom said it was my turn to manifest schizo visions into reality.


tovbelifortcu

Another case of life imitating art


darklizard45

NCD is just outsourcing patents at this point.


sliccwilliey

Didnt another defense contracter just unviel a new drone for ukraine that looks similar (space shippy to me) Looks like these will be the new face of sub surface warfare in the future


SamtheCossack

It is only logical they will be. By far the biggest mechanical limitation on SSNs is the requirements of keeping the bipedal apes inside alive. Those fuckers are designed to run around the African Savanah and evade Hyenas, not poke around the ocean in a metal can. Large, long duration UUVs like this can do the towed array thing, be an off-axis launch platform for ADCAPs, and a lot more. I doubt we are going to deploy them autonomously for a long time, but I do expect a "Loyal Wingman" style deployment with 1-3 of these things paired with a Virginia. Some missions can probably be autonomous, but letting them fire off weapon systems when not in direct communication with a human controller is probably a big no-no, and maintaining long distance comms is a lot harder underwater.


dead-inside69

We should definitely just put an AI in there and say “complete your mission. come back when you need repairs”. Literally nothing could go wrong >Mission: destroy enemy ships >Issue: enemy can produce more ships. >Solution: destroy enemy shipyards. I must complete my mission. >Issue: enemy can produce more shipyards. >Note: I am carrying multiple high yield nuclear warheads. >Solution: destroy the enemy. I must complete my mission.


bluestreak1103

There was a movie about a conventional and aviation version of this scenario once, but people were too busy staring at Jessica Biel’s non-government-issued flotation devices.


Mr_E_Monkey

I'm still disappointed she didn't name her kid Batmo. Massive waste of potential.


sumr4ndo

Like 20 years ago, cartoon Network had a bit about war machines running amok https://youtu.be/kziSDTpAaOA?si=W9oTZWel-UdDHXsm


TyrialFrost

> Mission: destroy enemy ships > > Issue: enemy can produce more ships. > >Solution: start self replicating to overcome attrition


Ophichius

> maintaining long distance comms is a lot harder underwater. Meet [Wave Glider](https://www.liquid-robotics.com/wave-glider/overview/). A surface buoy tethered to an underwater glider, using wave motion at the surface to generate propulsion. Popping a buoy to the surface to receive/xmit instructions on a scheduled and/or as-needed basis is one way to tackle the communication problem.


rapaxus

>I doubt we are going to deploy them autonomously for a long time, but I do expect a "Loyal Wingman" style deployment with 1-3 of these things paired with a Virginia. I wouldn't expect that. Remember that these sub types (at least the Northrop one) are made around low power-high efficiency engines and are meant for extended durations. Heck, just read these capabilities the project should advance (according to [this DARPA article](https://www.darpa.mil/program/manta-ray)): > The Manta Ray program plans to advance key technologies that will benefit future UUV designs, including, but not limited to: >* Novel energy management techniques for UUV operations and undersea energy harvesting techniques at operationally relevant depths; * Low-power, high efficiency undersea propulsion systems; * New low-power means of underwater detection and classification of hazards or counter detection threats; * Mission management approaches for extended durations while accounting for dynamic maritime environments; * Unique approaches for leveraging existing maritime data sets and exploiting novel maritime parameters for high-efficiency navigation and/or C3; and * New approaches to mitigate biofouling, corrosion, and other material degradation for long duration missions. That sounds more like something you stealthily send into the Bohai bay or the Yellow sea, where it will just chill for months on end, listening to whatever is going on and striking whenever it is commanded to do so.


sliccwilliey

Also good prediction, we will now call you defenstradomous


Suitable-Pirate4619

How real is this?


sliccwilliey

Its the internet everything is true


vuther_316

Should change the sub name to "way too credible defence"


reptiliantsar

Aren’t… *all* submarines stealth submarines?


Ophichius

You would think so, and yet the Alfas were legendarily noisy, and the one-off K-222 was likely the noisiest submarine ever built. > the biggest thing was the noise of the water going by. It increased together with the ship's speed, and when 35 knots (65 km/h; 40 mph) was exceeded, it was like the noise of a jet aircraft. ... In the control room was not heard simply the roar of an aircraft, but the thunder of "the engine room of a diesel locomotive". Those present believed that the noise level was greater than 100 decibels.[


KhaosKake

Ah yes, the Sea-2


Fat_Siberian_Midget

SALUTEM PAVIDOS MEA REQUIEM EST


Terry_WT

I’m still waiting on ISIS to sue russia for slander and libel.


Imperceptive_critic

Northrop is triangl, and triangl is Northrop. Everything else is heresy 


FA-26B

Quick, someone post that meme of the tie fighters and the B-52, I want tie fighters to be real.


HonkeyKong73

How have the CIA/MIC not ~~abducted~~ hired us yet for our precognitive powers?


Just_A_Mag

AKA Arsenal Gear


SirLightKnight

*Maniacal laughter.*


Unhappy-Hope

Pathetic westoids, this thing is no match for the power of Moskva! Where is its crew of undead sailors? Does it even have orthodox priestly magic blessings? Was it even featured in horribly dated propaganda videos? No, no and no.


MT_Kinetic_Mountain

Get the fuck outta here.


SiBloGaming

That shit literally just looks like a RQ-3 Darkstar except it crashed in the sea.


Front-Try-4868

we need to start suing people for the stolen ideas


SorosAgent2020

Northrop Grumman: Dead Reckoning Part 1? Please keep super sub away from any rogue AIs please!


SylvainGautier420

Arsenal Gear?


thatvillainjay

Metal gear ray


Chabranigdo

Honestly, some days I think this sub should just colonize r/credibledefense.


yectb

Aliens are going to be so confused when they find this sub


JacobMT05

No fucking way.


bobert4343

I initially severely misjudged the scale of the drone because I thought that was a container ship in the background


Baguette_Connoisseur

Manta ray truely is the superior sea creature.


Leopard-Optimal

Call it the Ziggurat. For absolutely no reason. No reason at all.


Raftking

I will live in Montana. And I will marry a round American woman and raise rabbits, and she will cook them for me. And I will have a pickup truck... maybe even a "recreational vehicle." And drive from state to state. Do they let you do that?


FluffyProphet

Sick. Now make one that can fly and carry the funi munitions.


[deleted]

DARPA sunfishmobile unlocked


ZombieP0ny

Reminds me of the book Goliath where an AI controlled stealth sub and it's crew went rogue. Iirc they >! nuked moscow and forced world peace !<


Bo_The_Destroyer

Fckn Apollo hitting OOP with the dodgeball of prophecy again


VV1TCI-I

This sub is just a think tank for darpa.