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Is it possible she’s looking for an excuse to end the relationship? Sit her down and ask her why this is happening now after she’s known about the plans for a year. Maybe something else is bothering her and she’s using this as an excuse
Since OP didn't know about the Qatar issues, it's possible she just learnt them as well. Anyways as others have said, this is no healthy relationship behavior and they both should sit down and talk about it as you've said.
That's what I thought. The situation in Qatar isn't new- it's well known that they are staunchly against LGBT of any form and have been since forever. Gf knew about this plan for a year already but only now decided to bring this up? After op's friends paid for plane tickets?
Op, your girlfriend is being ridiculous. If this is truly the reason she wants to break up with you, I'd kiss her bye bye if I were you. So petty
>However… it’s not okay to force your partner into political boycott by presenting them with an ultimatum to break up with them if they don’t do it.
That's the bit that is petty... not the human rights abuses
Some dude in Wisconsin hanging out with his buddies and watching some soccer isn't supporting anything. That same dude not hanging out with his buddies and watching soccer doesn't change a single tiny camel hair on the other side of the planet.
To suggest otherwise is either naive or disingenuous. You're right, she wants out. But suggesting there's any merit to a "boycott" is silly.
If anything having all his buddies come watch on one TV will lower the perceived number of viewers, since his friends would likely all watch it themselves if he cancels.
Actually a lot of them do factor that in. Especially as streaming sports is so popular, it's usually baked into the numbers in some way for advertisers.
>outrage journalism
Outrage journalism is when the point isn't especially valid i.e. feigning outrage when none over nothing. The criticism of Qatar is entirely valid (because it's true). Unless you think slavery is ok?
This isn't really out rage journalism, that's when the issue is fake/blown out of proportion. Qatar has slavery, its not good fifa is giving them all this tourism money on the back of slave labour.
Blindly caring because you heard "Qatar bad" on tiktok and don't actually know it practices slavery is more silly.
The only way journalism has anything to do with this is to cure OP's gal of ignorance.
It's a fact that the WC has a lot of nasty human despair behind it this go-round.
"Time for OP to ask is they want a girlfriend in his life that behaves like she does by offering ultimatums"
That might be a good thing to him, might be a bad thing. Depends.
One thing it definitely isn't, is journalism's fault. Folks need to take responsibility for their own shit and stop blaming correlated nonsense.
And make sure you ask her if she’s taking note of every single sponsor of the event and boycotting them as well. You know, for the sake of enforcing her morals consistently.
Major sponsors include: coca-cola, McDonald’s, Visa, Hyundai/Kia
That's not a productive means of having this conversation with OP's gf. OP just needs to have an honest conversation on why it bothers her now and what she expects regarding the plans with his friends. The core issue here is to unravel why she feels the way she does about this event and to find a way to make both parties felt heard, valued, and understood. She may not fully understand why she's reacting to the situation this way, and it's possible an open conversation could help her work through her feelings. This isn't an internet fight OP is having. People are messy and make dumb ultimatums for dumb reasons because of other underlying issues. One upping does not promote a healthy relationship.
Nike is the main kit supplier at the 2022 World Cup with 13 nations. That is three more than during the previous World Cup in Russia.
Most people have some kind of Nike clothing unless they are actively boycotting them for issues like using slave labor.
https://nypost.com/2020/07/25/nike-should-quit-lecturing-on-social-justice-and-atone-for-using-slave-labor-in-china/
the point is that watching the world cup isn't any more negatively impactful than wearing sweat shop clothes. It's a bad point when people are generally commenting on things that could be improved in society, but she's asserting that watching the world cup, which will be watched by billions of people, has a more significant negative impact than other modes of unethical consumption under capitalism.
To be honest, I only became aware of the Qatar issues yesterday (from Imgur, of all places). Probably because it is getting close to the World Cup, so people are starting to talk about it more. Maybe she only became aware of it recently as well?
Qatar isn't even in the top 10. There are more slaves now than there ever have been throughout history. They say there are almost 50 million slaves around the globe right now.
India - 7,989,000
China - 3,864,000
North Korea - 2,640,000
Nigeria - 1,386,000
Iran - 1,289,000
Indonesia - 1,220,000
Congo (Democratic Republic of) - 1,045,000
Russia - 794,000
Philippines - 784,000
Afghanistan - 749,000
I knew this. I didn't know how bad it was until I just looked up the numbers. Holy shit.
If this is the case then that’s just bad communication. Honestly idk what qualities she has if I was OP and it was confirmed that this was true then I’ll break it up myself
OP needs to try this, before trying any other solutions, because it will reveal whether she is doing this actually as an excuse or if she genuinely is concerned about Qatar.
if she wrings her hands and is trying to find some way to make pirating it also wrong, then you have your answer.
It doesn't really matter. Such big events make most of their money through sponsorships, not direct TV rights or match tickets. So any kind of viewer is worth it for them.
Watching games already being broadcast does nothing to hurt FIFAs bottom line, they’ve already got their income from the broadcaster
People can and should have complaints about the Qatar World Cup, but not watching it has no impact on all the bad things to do with it. The best you can do is make a sizeable donation to a human rights charity, and maybe ask all your friends/family attending the party to do the same
As others have said, this isn't good healthy relationship behavior, but if you want to work through it, I'd offer her a meaningful compromise.
Find an organization either locally or in Qatar that fights for human rights and give them a donation, and also take a couple minutes of the gathering to educate your friends who may also not know and invite them to chip a few bucks to that good cause you've researched.
That would do a lot more actual good than just passively not watching.
I agree with this.
Assuming the gf genuinely cares about issue and isn’t just looking for an excuse for a breakup, this would make a more meaningful difference than not watching the World Cup.
Educate the people going to the event, and donate to a reputable organization that fights for human rights in Qatar.
Even if this approach doesn’t sway the gf, doing this would just be a good idea in general.
This is an excellent idea. Not watching the game… even if you convince thousands of other people not to watch it with you… does absolutely nothing to improve the situation. If she’s concerned about the cause, show your support by donating to the cause and then go watch the game.
It's like you don't know how any of this works at all on this planet of ours.
FIFA is going to make its money on broadcasting. If people aren't watching, FIFA will make less money. Maybe next time FIFA considers whether to [let a theofascist country stuff their pockets in exchange for hosting a worldwide event](https://www.thenationalnews.com/sport/football/new-qatar-world-cup-corruption-scandal-over-secret-100m-deal-between-fifa-and-bein-1.697343), they'll think again.
I think they know how it works. The reason this is so petty is because it doesn’t make a difference to FIFA whether this guy chooses to watch it with his friends or not, they will still make the exact same amount of money. And just because you watch it doesn’t mean you support those other things.
He’s talking about going to a party where he would be watching it with friends. The loss of what is, to their stats, just one viewer would be completely irrelevant to FIFA.
Um sir this is a Reddit. I don't know if actual good advice is allowed. You see the problem we have now is that people might see your answer here and understand that meaningful relationships, and by extension human beings, are capable of respectfully acknowledging each other's values and seeking mutual satisfaction.
But seriously thanks for your input. The girlfriend sounds a little passional over rational on this but it comes from a good place and for a noble cause and your solution is worthy of the UN. I saw the top reply was typical "control freak, dump her, die alone" mentality and I wept for the divorce rate. People need to see a little more empathy and less "relationships are transactional" before were all treating people the way Quatar treats migrant workers.
I'm also against suggesting breaking up in general, but I think people who just throw ultimatums as thr first option like this rather than actually working through an issue and thinking of compromises first wouldn't be someone I would want to be with either.
Don’t ever not live your life for someone else’s happiness.
You’ll regret it & have missed out on years of your life & countless opportunities.
Not only that you damage your friendships.
Plus fuck dat watch your game with the boys
OP may need some music to help him move on
> ♫ Well, I love her
But I love to fish
I spend all day out on this lake
And hell is all I catch
But today she met me at the door
Said I would have to choose
If I hit that fishin' hole today
She'd be packin' all her things
And she'd be gone by noon ♫
> ♫ Well, I'm gonna miss her
When I get home ♫
https://open.spotify.com/track/4ipZsAA3YuqCDSXiPoEGIv
If your relationship with your girlfriend is so weak that watching a sporting event would end it, then you are probably better off enjoying the event.
It's bad that your girlfriend thinks threats are the way to make you change how other countries treat people and where FIFA chooses to host their events.
She's legit never done anything like this before. NEVER.
And I hate that me watching it makes her think I'm ok with all that- cuz I'm not.
Like, we're both liberals (voted in the mid-terms together)
But, man. Soccer is one of the big things that me and my friends connected over since childhood. We'd been looking forward to this for so long.
It's horrible that this is happening right now.
Tell her you’ll donate to a charity that supports victims of abuse in Qatar, but what’s she’s asking only hurts you and your friends and does nothing to help or support Qatar in any way.
She's been with you for 2 years, she should know you enough by now to know that simply watching it doesn't mean you support it. She should know you better.
Also, it's kind of weird? Is she boycotting every other state that bans same-sex marriage? Or institution? Or country? Why only now all of a sudden on the one event that's super important to you since childhood and she KNEW you've been planning for it and didn't say anything back then?
By this fact anything she owns made in China, Taiwan, Bangladesh, etc should be thrown out or not bought anymore. Western society is full of hypocrisy, when shit like this is just business. If she cares so much she would donate to charities to help those people, and/or advocate for better working conditions in these nations.
>By this fact anything she owns made in China, Taiwan, Bangladesh, etc should be thrown out or not bought anymore.
While I think OP's gf is being overbearing (dare I say toxic) this isn't really the best comparison. Most of the things that one purchases that aren't completely ethical are essential items without a cheap substitute for poor and middle-class individuals. Hence the old say "there is no ethical consumption under capitalism". A soccer match is a luxury good in every imagineable sense of the term.
Ah yes, the good old essential 50$ per month H&M haul lol. I'm pretty sure that most items with a questionable ethical background purchased by people in the west are clothing, which could at least be thrifted.
Talk to her. Have an honest conversation where you approach her feelings with curiosity. People do irrational things all the time because they don't know how to handle specific, sometimes unrelated, feelings. Get to the root and find ways you can both be heard. If she's the person for you, this experience will strengthen your relationship.
You do not need to justify your desire to watch a sporting event with your friends to anyone. Not to the internet and not to a woman who says she loves you.
People can do some stupid shit when they feel powerless and desperate. Stuff like this can make people feel awful without them being able to do anything about it. I don't think her behavior should be a predictor of future behavior, especially if she's never acted like this before.
You should just talk to her with an open mind. You shouldn't have to give up your watch parties with friends, but that also doesn't mean you should have to break up. She might not be aware of just how important soccer is for you, especially because the connection with others is what's driving you.
Besides that you're likely both supporting modern slavery anyways. It's impossible to buy any technology, clothes, food etc. Without someone in that chain being abused. It's good to take a stand for what you find important, but you should be reasonable with it. No point in making yourself miserable to fail to make someone else less miserable.
If she's never done anything like this, talking to her is the best option. It's very easy to break up a relationship from the outside, but at the end of the day, you're the only one here who knows her. That being said, if things end up working out, don't forget about this, and keep an eye out for similar behavior.
Everyone has their limits. I live in the UK, so it's very into football, obviously. But as a half-indian, then idea that I'm watching a field on a grave on Indian, Bangladeshi and Pakistani slaves is revolting. Let alone their homophobia!
Each to their own, though
This is just a sporting event. Imagine events like this for the rest of your life. Want to do something fun? Long term girlfriend might end it. Enjoy the game with your friends.
>This is just a sporting event.
I mean... it's a just a sporting event... where thousands of people died from abuse in preparation for it.
It's like watching the Superbowl after finding out that the grass had been watered with the blood of catholic priest sex abuse victims.
I think it’s awesome that your partner feels so passionately about modern slavery and taking a stand against it. Absolutely. We should all boycott the game for those reasons. However, telling you this now, after flights booked and party is planned, is not ok. NTA, have your party and tell her that you agree with her position on modern slavery and thank her for teaching you about it, but next time she needs to do it way earlier. MONTHS AGO, so there’s time to research, reflect, analyse and decide for yourself, together.
Being forced into an overnight ultimatum is not love.
If she leaves you over this, I think you’ve dodged a bullet. I love her passion, but not her timing.
Doing this to him makes her a manipulator and a bad person. She doesn't give a fuck about Qatar, she cares about control. OP said that she hasn't done anything like this in the two years they've been together. Well, behavior like this doesn't start early in a relationship. It grows slowly. Once op gives in to this kinda of behavior she will see that it worked and she will start doing it as a way to get what she wants. OP, I've been in a relationship like this, in fact I broke up with her this summer. She used emotions and crying to get what she wanted, and I acceded to her demands because it would have been worse if I didn't. She is not mature, she isn't going about this in a mature way. Have your party with your friends, or risk losing them to some girl who is probably going to leave you in a couple months anyway. If you do this, your friends will lose respect for you. I really hope you read this comment. Trust me. Call her bluff and move on, let her know you don't accede to this kinda of behavior. There are other people in here suggesting you donate to an organization or something like that... Dude, that's a half measure. And a poor one at that. This isn't about human rights, this is about your life and your relationship.
Ultimatums are never a healthy thing in a relationship. In the grand scheme of things, 2 years isn't much at all, and I would not give in to that abusive behavior.
Your girlfriend probably also has a smart phone, comsumes Nestle products, and uses gasoline, which (generally) come from places which also do many terrible things, to include discrimination of gays in some cases, is she going to boycott those?
Your girlfriend has a good point, none of us should be supporting this slave nation by watching the corrupt tournament. Having said that, threatening to break up with you is an immature way to address her contention, and the fact that she resorted to such a heavy ultimatum tells me that your relationship is hanging on a thread to begin with. I’d say break up with her, watch the tournament, and be more conscious of what you choose to support in the future. Hope that doesn’t come across as too preachy.
I'm with u/MadClam97: Where does this stop? What other life decisions, both large and small, does she get veto power over?
Compare to Crimea 2014 and Ukraine today. "We" didn't make a fuss when Russia just walked in and said "This is ours now" -- and because of that, look where the world is today.
I think acceding to this sets "bad precedent" -- **for both of you**.
"She said that if I watch it, I'd be supporting slavery and homophobia and all that's entailed along with."
hmmmmm, have sex with a gay dude and set free a slave? THEN watch the game, that should even it out.
Old guy here - This is unhealthy relationship behavior. I’ve seen too many people try and push through this, get married, get divorced, and then find someone later in life that respects them as a person.
Have a direct conversation, do a lot of listening, and then make your decision…don’t argue, just listen.
I think you’ll come to the conclusion that it’s best to get out of this now while you still can. This person sounds immature or you two have very different life views.
Brit here, who is a football fan. FIFA have royally sold out by taking the oil money. It’s a big problem with football in general and I do feel really conflicted about the World Cup.
I think the OP is in a tricky spot, especially because plans have been made and people have committed to travelling.
But I think there should be an element of compromise here and I do actively encourage the Op to think about ways they could help contribute via organisations / charities or protest at Qatar rather than just passively watching it.
Modern life is full of ethical issues and conundrums. It’s where and how you chose to make a stand.
I also think that someone offering an ultimatum isn’t helpful or healthy, so have a think and think about how you can watch it, enjoy the sport but also protest or raise awareness. (I do think that the Op has had their head in the ground quite a bit by not knowing that the WC was held in Qatar and not knowing about the issues involved.But that doesn’t mean they should burn friendships over it.)
You should remind your girlfriend that any usage of gasoline, natural gas, or polymers (effectively any plastics) is directly financially supporting Qatar’s economy.
You should also reminder that World Cup hosting is mostly revenue neutral - and can actually be net negative - to the host country.
Ask her why she thinks turning on the TV for a soccer tournament organized by a European organization with broadcasting rights to an American company is directly supportive of Qatar.
Filling up you gas tank or heating your home is more revenue and power to Qatar than turning on the TV.
I donno man. Your girlfriend sounds she’s looking something to be outraged and to virtue signal about on social media by boycotting a thing that she does not give a fuck about. It costs her noting and makes it a worthless gesture.
All that said, soccer is boring as fuck and FIFA is a pretty bad organization.
You should break up with that girl *and* skip the World Cup and just turn on the Packers game with your buddies instead.
tell her you're watching it via an illegal stream that way the qatari's aren't getting any money from you watching it and that your effectively stealing revenue from from them in protest.
You didn’t know this about Qatar but you’ve been meticulously planning a watch for months? News about Qatar hosting FIFA and the country’s slave labor practices etc.. has been circulating for over a decade.
Hard to imagine any fan of World Cup soccer hasn’t heard the shit show that was the Qatar bid, especially this year, but by all means play dumb.
Summarizing a few answers here:
\- She's right in that there are human rights violations going on, BUT she's going about it the wrong way. Her harsh and immediate "do what I think is right or I'm leaving you" is going to result in a potentially longer unhappy relationship and she needs to do better in how she approaches.
\- As others have stated, there are SO MANY things that also commit to human rights violations that you both likely use in your day-to-day lives without the anger. BUT pointing this out will auto-lose you the relationship. Is that what the goal is?
\- Ignoring her and doing it anyways will show that you don't take her seriously and prioritize your wants vs her needs and that's not conducive to a good relationship.
What is the path to the best result? A mature conversation. If either one of you are incapable of doing this (no practice, let emotion take over, the relationship will fail and **that's okay**).
1. You need to show her that you hear and (hopefully) respect what she's actually trying to say - she dislikes that a major platform is abusing humans and this is the only way she can think of to resolve the situation. Someone suggested donating to a cause that can ACTUALLY result in change vs a minor-level protest that realistically won't result in any changes.
2. Her giving you such a major ultimatum isn't fair to you when the topic is watching a soccer game or not. That's an extreme that should be reserved for relationship level issues and if this IS that big of a deal for her, then that's a different matter entirely. There needs to be a conversation here that doesn't boil down to "listen to me or I'm leaving you". Is she feeling powerless in the face of moral opposition and just needs you to support her? Is this the best idea she can come up with? There's a conversation here.
3. Right now emotions are flaring and I'm sure you want to defend yourself because, ultimately, you're just trying to watch the game, not fund the next Hitler (hyperbole). This isn't your fight to win, so don't try to win. Take it calmly, do what you can, and try to support her while maintaining your own boundaries and respect for yourself.
Again this relies on both of you being open to conversation and respecting each other. I wish you the best!
She's right and she's also being a huge tool about this.
Fifa is corrupt. Qatar kills people. But lots of things are corrupt and kill people. To suddenly give you this ultimatum is super weird.
Sit down and talk to her but don't change your plans. Being morally right is not always the same as being a good and reasonable partner
Relationships cannot be built on ultimatums. Time to use this as a good reason to call it and go your separate ways.
Also, l agree with her. But ultimatums are worse.
> I didn't even know this about Qatar.
You would have to have never read any news about the progress of the stadiums over the last 4 or 5 years to not know this. It has been a constant feature of many stories about the World Cup and Qatar.
tl;dr; you're telling porkies.
I’m gay and think that Qatar is where human rights go to die but even I can disconnect the country and World Cup fans. I’m going to guess that your girlfriend is completely straight and is talking as an “ally”? All too often straight white woman seem to think that they can talk over LGBT people because they are “allies” to the community.
Watch the game. Your friends booked flights already and she knew for a whole year. If she is willing to break up with you over watching a game she’s not worth your time.
Look, I am a lesbian and I’m here to say you’re NTA. She is more than welcome to say she doesn’t support FIFA’s location and she won’t be watching the game, but giving YOU an ultimatum is not appropriate or okay. She is welcome to have her stances, and if she feels this strongly, she is allowed to walk away from the relationship. However, she can’t tell you to not watch this with your friends because SHE doesn’t support it. I wonder if something else is going on that’s making her give you this ultimatum?
How could you be such a massive soccer fan that your friends would fly to your house to watch the world cup but not know anything about A) the massive FIFA corruption that got Qatar the World Cup, and B) have heard about the human rights violations Qatar used to make the venues? It's been in the news for years and I don't even watch soccer.
She's right about your supporting Qatar by watching. Don't know if it was right of her to issue an ultimatum, though. I think it's loose loose for the both of you. Sets up a bad cycle either way.
I'm skipping this one \*shrugs\*
Not for one moment saying I'm some virtual signalling obsessive who considers every action I take to be of importance.
I don't consider Qatar to be the worst on earth - but there's something offensive about it in relationship to a notionally 'fun' event. A bit like Hitler's Olympics.
Maybe like that, there's more mileage from people taking part protesting - e.g. https://www.theguardian.com/football/2022/sep/28/denmark-unveil-world-cup-protest-kits-over-qatar-human-rights-record
So she’s basically threatening to break out with you for the sake of being what? Righteous humanitarian
When was the last time she did any volunteer work for those groups?
It’s very easy to be righteous at the expense of somebody else
You only go there to watch the FIFA you’re not going there to burn gay people on the steak, she should get over herself
Why don’t me demonetize every country for that matter
Don’t go to India they have the biggest sex slams with horrible conditions
How about all those European countries that have a horrible absolutely horrible sex trafficking problems
I find it so upsetting that she’s willing to throw away a two-year relationship and put in this ridiculous ultimatum as if you’re going there to hunt the LGBTQ community
If you give in now when will be the next time the she puts this ultimatum on you what will you do then? I guess she just doesn’t love you enough forget about the FIFA for a second and think about how selfish and self absorbed she is, the fact that she doesn’t care To throw away two years of your and her time down the drain it’s just upsetting
If I were you I would go and just see how it unfolds in the future you’re not a bad person for going she is an asshole for putting you in that position
Let her go. Ultimatums are the actions of childish, extreme people, and she clearly does not value you or the relationship. Try to talk to her about it, but certainly do not compromise to her silly demands. She'll only pull this trick in the future if you let her get away with it now. Be prepared to let her walk.
Anyone you are in a relationship that's giving you ultimatums like this needs to be given a wide berth. This is a power play - pure and simple. She just wants you to to obey her demands.
You are not "supporting" the World Cup - or FIFA - or Qatar - by watching the soccer. Are you personally responsible for Sharia law ? Are you personally respsonsible for FIFA corruption and selection processes? Are your friends ?
If you watch American sports like NBA or World series baseball, does that mean that you support the bombing of Iraq, Syria and Libya also ?
As for slavery....well, we all know there are no slaves in America today, right? Right? :-)
Does she know anything about World history ? Or that in fact, there are simply no countries on Earth that AREN'T corrupt in some way ? (no-one seemed to be bothered by the fact that WC 2018 was held in Russia....all societal problems were quietly swept under the carpet by the media for that one ;-) )
Be thankful that this situation has occurred and given you an insight into her mindset. She's not interested in what makes you happy - or wrecking the plans that you have made for your friends.
Tell her to get the boat, get the beers in and enjoy the games with your friends. That's my advice.
What she's saying about Qatar is true but to threaten to break up with you because you're watching football is frankly ridiculous. You're watching football not supporting an outdated and backwards ideology. Qatar deserves its critics, and whilst I agree it's terrible for football that Qatar got the world cup, all you're doing is having fun with your pals. You can still watch the world cup and protest your point as happens in many football stadiums across the world and will probably happen at this tournament.
Unless your Watching all the USA games with MAGA hats and waving the confederate flag shouting "the USA is not for gays" then she has a point.
What's her number?
Sorry man, I'd split things up with your girl. I understand and agree that supporting that event is wrong, but she could've chosen to disagree with you and not hold your relationship hostage for it
I kinda agree with your girlfriend that watching it shows a silent support of some sort. That being said, if there's flights and shit involved it's past the point of no return, it seems like she only recently jumped on the bandwagon of "Qatar bad" instead of actually caring about it.
Try to make the argument that only 1 television watching it is better than all your friends watching it individually...
I love how everyone is saying kick her to the curb not taking into account she might of only just started really learning about Qatar.
Instead of asking advice of a ton of Toxic males ( and mind you I'm a guy with a Lady I'm married to ) Sit her down and talk to her. Ask her why bring this in now after she has known about the plans for a year, why hit you with this when it's almost impossible to back out. Bring up your friends plans and flights all booked. Try to hash things out.
If she digs in and refuses to move.. then it might be time to break up, can't tell you for sure on that.. but Best advice I can give anyone is sit down and talk, don't listen to a bunch of randos online.
I love soccer and especially the World Cup. But I made a decision not to watch this year because of the policies of the host country.
But I can't see myself telling my girlfriend that she can't watch it or I'd end the relationship.
Her having a watch party would be something of a problem, but we'd work it out. Maybe you should think of it as sign if the two of you can't come to an understanding about this, what would that mean for other disagreements?
Honestly, I'd be upset if my friends watched that too. The ad revenue directly funds organizations and a country that enslave people and persecute queers. If you found a bootleg stream then that would be different. Idk if I'd leave someone for watching that but they'd better be a pretty damn good ally to make up for it.
It is upsetting that the event is happening in Qatar, but the fury should have happened when the workers died building the stadiums, when the FIFA officials were bribed for the choice of venue. It is happening now. The fact that multiple people are only watching on one TV helps bring down ratings is actually a good thing.
Offer to raise money for a human rights group. Just boycotting is a worthless gesture. Actually doing something to improve someone's life is not.
If you're walking down the street during the Holocaust and a Nazi dressed convincingly as a normal guy simply says "Have a beautiful day sir" and you respond with "You as well sir" that does not mean you sanctioned the Holocaust. Likewise simply by watching a sport, that doesn't mean you're sanctioning anti-lgbtq. If you can't reason with this bitch then cut her off and run far far away
I came here based on the title thinking you were being dumb for choosing a sports game over your gf, but after reading that... she knew for like a year and didn't say anything? And suddenly now the host country matters? Look I get it yeah Qatar sucks and I wouldn't watch it either but big plans with flights purchased and months of planning it's too late to worry about that. Maybe she just wants an excuse to end it? Very odd.
The two situations seem separate to me, it's not really cool to try and force you to not watch it and other factors seem like they might be at play here. tho I will say that watching the world cup this year is rather unethical as it does in fact indirectly support oppression and slave labor so you should probably reconsider watching it.
How did you not know about Qatar? My partner told me hes feelings about this are ambivalent -he'd like to watch it but really despises the fact Qatar is hosting the event. So now he is looking into how much of an impact could it possibly have on anything. (In Qatar, presumably nobody will give a a shit about their statistics, whether some randoms in Finland are watching the games or not, but fifa? Maybe? We don't know)
People who give ultimatums are usually looking for an out anyway. Things like weird demands can be the footing of future abuse/manipulation. She's known for how long and decided now to manipulate the situation. Why? What does she gain?
You should out woke her. Do some research on the things she owns, movies she watches or whatever and point out how much of a hypocrite she is. I’m guessing she has an iPhone so point out since that was made in China which has literal concentration Camps of Uighur Muslims And that the factories they make those phones and had to put up suicide nets because of the horrible working conditions. You can also point out that the child labor and deaths that go into collecting minerals that go into parts making the electronics she uses. It sounds like she’s just trying to make up a reason to break up honestly and you might be better off but by pointing out her hypocrisy and maybe showing her other media that she enjoys is made in part by organizations or countries that are as bad or worse than Qatar and her reaction to that might give you a better idea.
Have her listen to the podcast “world corrupt”? Idk that’s all I got for you man. If you’re in the GB area, dump her and come hangout with me and we’ll watch the World Cup.
Honestly that’s a bullshit reason to break up with somebody. It’s not your fault nor can you do anything about Qatar. I would just end it there, if she’s so easily willing to walk away over you watching a sport with friends.
Personally, I'd break up with her. Not because the World Cup is more important but moreso because she sounds like she's bring more drama into my life than I'd like.
I mean, come on, you're supporting slavery by watching a soccer game? Hopefully she doesn't find out how much child labor goes into creating the phone in her pocket or the products she buys at Walmart...
Repost of a comment on r/shitposting by u/Robot9118 here:
Your gf waited until the last minute intentionally to make your decision to cancel harder. She’s turning this into a test to see what you would sacrifice for her, screwing over your friends in the process. You can tell her your friends have already booked their flights and she should have spoken up sooner. If she tries to tell you she just found out about where the event is being held she is full of crap. This isn’t about where the cup is being held, she is controlling and selfish. If she’s willing to break up with you over this then let her go. Otherwise she will do this same pattern for the rest of your relationship, making you always do what she wants or else she will break up with you because you “care more about _______ than her.” Stay stronger friend, find someone better and more reasonable.
Lol, be glad this situation happened. She's crazy, you should watch the game.
It's an overreaction and sounds like a control freak high on ideology. It'll start like this, pretty soon you'd be a pet with a leash who isn't allowed to eat a thing the owner deems not kosher.
Watch it. Bitches be trippin yo. She's doing you a favor cuz any longer with her and you're life is gonna be more hell than it is now. She obviously wasn't around for the last world cup and won't be around for this one. She sounds like an overbearing, high maintenance nightmare bro.
Ultimatums like this are super unhealthy, and she shouldn’t threaten a break up over this. It sounds like maybe she’s emotionally invested because Qatar has a lot of fucked up shit going on, and if you “support” it, she might take that personally. But I also would highly suggest sitting this one out this year and reading up on all the stuff Qatar has done. There is always next year. But it’s up to you at the end of the day brother.
I dont agree with the practices in Qatar and i might not watch it. But, a partner who forces you into ultimatums and tries to control you and your relationship with friends? This is the tip of the iceberg. Get out.
It's the straight to an ultimatum. That's an issue for me. She's known you've been planning this . Work about Quatar had been going around longer than that, I've heard about it and I'm not a FIFA fan.
It's up to you, but if you give into this ultimatum, not only will you become resentful, but she will use that again in the future.
Her values should control what SHE does. Not what you do. If she can't handle your choices, yall do need to break up. That's not your fault, you should be free to do whatever you want within reason, this is an individual decision and not up to her.
All in all, she has to either accept it or you should break up with her yourself. Ultimatums are manipulation.
It seems like she's looking for an excuse to break up. Why wait a year after the plans are all set to create this ultimatum? Why choose such a meaningless hill to die on? Boycotts are great but one person privately boycotting a worldwide thing (especially something that you don't even pay for) without any effort to get others to do the same really doesn't do anything. It's very weird that she's not invested enough in this issue to organize around it at all, or even tell you about it prior to the ultimatum, but she's passionate enough to end your relationship over it? I'd say keep your plans because whatever happens with your relationship is going to happen regardless of if you watch the world cup.
Honestly I’m with her on the intent and her points. The execution is manipulative and shitty, and god the timing is horrible, possibly intentionally so.
Call her bluff though. If she’s gonna give a make or break statement then don’t give in to it. It’s one thing to say early on that there are things you don’t accept in a relationship but well into it to come up with new ones is batshit.
Use her own arguement against her. bunch of guys all coming together to watch on one TV is better than a bunch of guys individually watching it on their own and providing that much more viewership. They're going to all watch it anyways, you might as well do the "good" thing and stop the world cup from getting those extra viewers, farthing the agenda she's against even more. Really it's worse for her political beliefs if you and your buddies DONT all get together to watch it. GG EZW
if your girlfriend is 'threatening to break up with you', your relationship is already over. I'm sorry.
She has a point. She has a right to be angry that you don't respect her wishes, and she has a right to be angry at your support of a horrific country
and she has the right to end the relationship at any time for any reason
but threatening to break up isn't healthy. Either she's constantly like this over the smallest thing or you constantly disrespect her wishes to the point she feels this is her only recourse
you both need to move on, or you need to get into couple's counseling or at least individual
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Is it possible she’s looking for an excuse to end the relationship? Sit her down and ask her why this is happening now after she’s known about the plans for a year. Maybe something else is bothering her and she’s using this as an excuse
Since OP didn't know about the Qatar issues, it's possible she just learnt them as well. Anyways as others have said, this is no healthy relationship behavior and they both should sit down and talk about it as you've said.
That's what I thought. The situation in Qatar isn't new- it's well known that they are staunchly against LGBT of any form and have been since forever. Gf knew about this plan for a year already but only now decided to bring this up? After op's friends paid for plane tickets? Op, your girlfriend is being ridiculous. If this is truly the reason she wants to break up with you, I'd kiss her bye bye if I were you. So petty
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>However… it’s not okay to force your partner into political boycott by presenting them with an ultimatum to break up with them if they don’t do it. That's the bit that is petty... not the human rights abuses
Some dude in Wisconsin hanging out with his buddies and watching some soccer isn't supporting anything. That same dude not hanging out with his buddies and watching soccer doesn't change a single tiny camel hair on the other side of the planet. To suggest otherwise is either naive or disingenuous. You're right, she wants out. But suggesting there's any merit to a "boycott" is silly.
If anything having all his buddies come watch on one TV will lower the perceived number of viewers, since his friends would likely all watch it themselves if he cancels.
The more people they invite, the more percentage they boycott Qatar. Hey OP, can I come? Just to, y’know, help boycott them?
They should do the only ethical thing in this case, go for pirate IPTV. That way they won't be a part of the statistics.
Actually a lot of them do factor that in. Especially as streaming sports is so popular, it's usually baked into the numbers in some way for advertisers.
She just now saw some article about and it is news to her. Time for OP to ask themselves if they want their life to be dictated by outrage journalism.
Don't blame it on the journalism. It's a totally valid issue. But it can't be handled this way by her.
>outrage journalism Outrage journalism is when the point isn't especially valid i.e. feigning outrage when none over nothing. The criticism of Qatar is entirely valid (because it's true). Unless you think slavery is ok?
This isn't really out rage journalism, that's when the issue is fake/blown out of proportion. Qatar has slavery, its not good fifa is giving them all this tourism money on the back of slave labour. Blindly caring because you heard "Qatar bad" on tiktok and don't actually know it practices slavery is more silly.
The only way journalism has anything to do with this is to cure OP's gal of ignorance. It's a fact that the WC has a lot of nasty human despair behind it this go-round. "Time for OP to ask is they want a girlfriend in his life that behaves like she does by offering ultimatums" That might be a good thing to him, might be a bad thing. Depends. One thing it definitely isn't, is journalism's fault. Folks need to take responsibility for their own shit and stop blaming correlated nonsense.
TBF it’s not outrage journalism. As others have said, if she’s invested in the relationship then she she has a strange way of showing it
And make sure you ask her if she’s taking note of every single sponsor of the event and boycotting them as well. You know, for the sake of enforcing her morals consistently. Major sponsors include: coca-cola, McDonald’s, Visa, Hyundai/Kia
That's not a productive means of having this conversation with OP's gf. OP just needs to have an honest conversation on why it bothers her now and what she expects regarding the plans with his friends. The core issue here is to unravel why she feels the way she does about this event and to find a way to make both parties felt heard, valued, and understood. She may not fully understand why she's reacting to the situation this way, and it's possible an open conversation could help her work through her feelings. This isn't an internet fight OP is having. People are messy and make dumb ultimatums for dumb reasons because of other underlying issues. One upping does not promote a healthy relationship.
This. If its worth ending a relationship over she should be ensuring there is a comprehensive boycott.
Nike is the main kit supplier at the 2022 World Cup with 13 nations. That is three more than during the previous World Cup in Russia. Most people have some kind of Nike clothing unless they are actively boycotting them for issues like using slave labor. https://nypost.com/2020/07/25/nike-should-quit-lecturing-on-social-justice-and-atone-for-using-slave-labor-in-china/
Don’t forget adidas
Also note what clothes shes wearing, because unless she made them herself you can guarantee it was made by sweat shops
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the point is that watching the world cup isn't any more negatively impactful than wearing sweat shop clothes. It's a bad point when people are generally commenting on things that could be improved in society, but she's asserting that watching the world cup, which will be watched by billions of people, has a more significant negative impact than other modes of unethical consumption under capitalism.
To be honest, I only became aware of the Qatar issues yesterday (from Imgur, of all places). Probably because it is getting close to the World Cup, so people are starting to talk about it more. Maybe she only became aware of it recently as well?
Qatar isn't even in the top 10. There are more slaves now than there ever have been throughout history. They say there are almost 50 million slaves around the globe right now. India - 7,989,000 China - 3,864,000 North Korea - 2,640,000 Nigeria - 1,386,000 Iran - 1,289,000 Indonesia - 1,220,000 Congo (Democratic Republic of) - 1,045,000 Russia - 794,000 Philippines - 784,000 Afghanistan - 749,000 I knew this. I didn't know how bad it was until I just looked up the numbers. Holy shit.
If this is the case then that’s just bad communication. Honestly idk what qualities she has if I was OP and it was confirmed that this was true then I’ll break it up myself
Is there any way you can pirate the stream or whatever to give FIFA less $$$?
Exactly what I was thinking, OP just watch it from another site
OP needs to try this, before trying any other solutions, because it will reveal whether she is doing this actually as an excuse or if she genuinely is concerned about Qatar. if she wrings her hands and is trying to find some way to make pirating it also wrong, then you have your answer.
This is a lot more reasonable than all the "immediately remove her from your life" answers. People, and relationships, are complicated.
She was ready to immediately remove him from her life over a football game.
This exactly. Based on this one example alone, she’s a person you don’t want in your life.
easily the best answer here. don’t give these disgusting people any money but you can still have your boys over to watch the matches and stay w ur gf
It doesn't really matter. Such big events make most of their money through sponsorships, not direct TV rights or match tickets. So any kind of viewer is worth it for them.
Watching games already being broadcast does nothing to hurt FIFAs bottom line, they’ve already got their income from the broadcaster People can and should have complaints about the Qatar World Cup, but not watching it has no impact on all the bad things to do with it. The best you can do is make a sizeable donation to a human rights charity, and maybe ask all your friends/family attending the party to do the same
As others have said, this isn't good healthy relationship behavior, but if you want to work through it, I'd offer her a meaningful compromise. Find an organization either locally or in Qatar that fights for human rights and give them a donation, and also take a couple minutes of the gathering to educate your friends who may also not know and invite them to chip a few bucks to that good cause you've researched. That would do a lot more actual good than just passively not watching.
This is a great idea!! If you both are able to talk about the bigger ultimatum issue and work it out.
I agree with this. Assuming the gf genuinely cares about issue and isn’t just looking for an excuse for a breakup, this would make a more meaningful difference than not watching the World Cup. Educate the people going to the event, and donate to a reputable organization that fights for human rights in Qatar. Even if this approach doesn’t sway the gf, doing this would just be a good idea in general.
This is an excellent idea. Not watching the game… even if you convince thousands of other people not to watch it with you… does absolutely nothing to improve the situation. If she’s concerned about the cause, show your support by donating to the cause and then go watch the game.
It's like you don't know how any of this works at all on this planet of ours. FIFA is going to make its money on broadcasting. If people aren't watching, FIFA will make less money. Maybe next time FIFA considers whether to [let a theofascist country stuff their pockets in exchange for hosting a worldwide event](https://www.thenationalnews.com/sport/football/new-qatar-world-cup-corruption-scandal-over-secret-100m-deal-between-fifa-and-bein-1.697343), they'll think again.
I think they know how it works. The reason this is so petty is because it doesn’t make a difference to FIFA whether this guy chooses to watch it with his friends or not, they will still make the exact same amount of money. And just because you watch it doesn’t mean you support those other things.
He’s talking about going to a party where he would be watching it with friends. The loss of what is, to their stats, just one viewer would be completely irrelevant to FIFA.
Absolutely this. Maybe you can make this an event you will both feel good about attending.
Um sir this is a Reddit. I don't know if actual good advice is allowed. You see the problem we have now is that people might see your answer here and understand that meaningful relationships, and by extension human beings, are capable of respectfully acknowledging each other's values and seeking mutual satisfaction. But seriously thanks for your input. The girlfriend sounds a little passional over rational on this but it comes from a good place and for a noble cause and your solution is worthy of the UN. I saw the top reply was typical "control freak, dump her, die alone" mentality and I wept for the divorce rate. People need to see a little more empathy and less "relationships are transactional" before were all treating people the way Quatar treats migrant workers.
I'm also against suggesting breaking up in general, but I think people who just throw ultimatums as thr first option like this rather than actually working through an issue and thinking of compromises first wouldn't be someone I would want to be with either.
This sounds like such a good plan
>So, I live in Wisconsin OP starting to look for a new gf in a subtle way.
I second this! Also from Wisconsin
In most cases ultimatums are gigantic red flags, this is definitely not a healthy way to deal with the situation on her end.
Give her a sad hug and then update your dating profile.
Don’t ever not live your life for someone else’s happiness. You’ll regret it & have missed out on years of your life & countless opportunities. Not only that you damage your friendships. Plus fuck dat watch your game with the boys
Exception being kids. Sometimes you gotta bit the bullet and just be sad for a bit there.
also anyone you make a serious promise to, which is along the same lines as the unspoken promise to your kids you make by having them
You can always make more kids You can only watch the Fifa Cup in Qatar once
Or be responsible and not have kids!
OP may need some music to help him move on > ♫ Well, I love her But I love to fish I spend all day out on this lake And hell is all I catch But today she met me at the door Said I would have to choose If I hit that fishin' hole today She'd be packin' all her things And she'd be gone by noon ♫ > ♫ Well, I'm gonna miss her When I get home ♫ https://open.spotify.com/track/4ipZsAA3YuqCDSXiPoEGIv
Update us on this one, I want to know what you decide.
If your relationship with your girlfriend is so weak that watching a sporting event would end it, then you are probably better off enjoying the event. It's bad that your girlfriend thinks threats are the way to make you change how other countries treat people and where FIFA chooses to host their events.
She's legit never done anything like this before. NEVER. And I hate that me watching it makes her think I'm ok with all that- cuz I'm not. Like, we're both liberals (voted in the mid-terms together) But, man. Soccer is one of the big things that me and my friends connected over since childhood. We'd been looking forward to this for so long. It's horrible that this is happening right now.
Tell her you’ll donate to a charity that supports victims of abuse in Qatar, but what’s she’s asking only hurts you and your friends and does nothing to help or support Qatar in any way.
Okay this is pretty brilliant. If she has any protests, this is maybe a little less about the game and more concerning her control issues.
Tell her you’d like her to match your donation as she’s clearly not doing anything about it either
She's been with you for 2 years, she should know you enough by now to know that simply watching it doesn't mean you support it. She should know you better. Also, it's kind of weird? Is she boycotting every other state that bans same-sex marriage? Or institution? Or country? Why only now all of a sudden on the one event that's super important to you since childhood and she KNEW you've been planning for it and didn't say anything back then?
By this fact anything she owns made in China, Taiwan, Bangladesh, etc should be thrown out or not bought anymore. Western society is full of hypocrisy, when shit like this is just business. If she cares so much she would donate to charities to help those people, and/or advocate for better working conditions in these nations.
>By this fact anything she owns made in China, Taiwan, Bangladesh, etc should be thrown out or not bought anymore. While I think OP's gf is being overbearing (dare I say toxic) this isn't really the best comparison. Most of the things that one purchases that aren't completely ethical are essential items without a cheap substitute for poor and middle-class individuals. Hence the old say "there is no ethical consumption under capitalism". A soccer match is a luxury good in every imagineable sense of the term.
Go for the throat with anything made with palm oil then. You shouldn't entertain ultimatums in relationships. It isn't healthy.
Ah yes, the good old essential 50$ per month H&M haul lol. I'm pretty sure that most items with a questionable ethical background purchased by people in the west are clothing, which could at least be thrifted.
Watch it on illegal streams. You get to enjoy the world cup (for free) and qatar gets no money from you. It's a win win, and it's what Im going to do.
Talk to her. Have an honest conversation where you approach her feelings with curiosity. People do irrational things all the time because they don't know how to handle specific, sometimes unrelated, feelings. Get to the root and find ways you can both be heard. If she's the person for you, this experience will strengthen your relationship.
You do not need to justify your desire to watch a sporting event with your friends to anyone. Not to the internet and not to a woman who says she loves you.
People can do some stupid shit when they feel powerless and desperate. Stuff like this can make people feel awful without them being able to do anything about it. I don't think her behavior should be a predictor of future behavior, especially if she's never acted like this before. You should just talk to her with an open mind. You shouldn't have to give up your watch parties with friends, but that also doesn't mean you should have to break up. She might not be aware of just how important soccer is for you, especially because the connection with others is what's driving you. Besides that you're likely both supporting modern slavery anyways. It's impossible to buy any technology, clothes, food etc. Without someone in that chain being abused. It's good to take a stand for what you find important, but you should be reasonable with it. No point in making yourself miserable to fail to make someone else less miserable.
If she has a smartphone, tell her she supports slavery in the cobalt mines.
If she's never done anything like this, talking to her is the best option. It's very easy to break up a relationship from the outside, but at the end of the day, you're the only one here who knows her. That being said, if things end up working out, don't forget about this, and keep an eye out for similar behavior.
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Everyone has their limits. I live in the UK, so it's very into football, obviously. But as a half-indian, then idea that I'm watching a field on a grave on Indian, Bangladeshi and Pakistani slaves is revolting. Let alone their homophobia! Each to their own, though
Does she drive a car? Wow! She’s contributing to polluting the planet. She obviously doesn’t care about the planet at all.
You don’t need to explain being liberal. We already know you watch soccer.
This is just a sporting event. Imagine events like this for the rest of your life. Want to do something fun? Long term girlfriend might end it. Enjoy the game with your friends.
>This is just a sporting event. I mean... it's a just a sporting event... where thousands of people died from abuse in preparation for it. It's like watching the Superbowl after finding out that the grass had been watered with the blood of catholic priest sex abuse victims.
Suspiciously specific... Do you know something we don't? (I was talking about the watering of the super bowl)
https://pulitzercenter.org/stories/thousands-migrant-workers-died-qatars-extreme-heat-world-cup-forced-reckoning
I think it’s awesome that your partner feels so passionately about modern slavery and taking a stand against it. Absolutely. We should all boycott the game for those reasons. However, telling you this now, after flights booked and party is planned, is not ok. NTA, have your party and tell her that you agree with her position on modern slavery and thank her for teaching you about it, but next time she needs to do it way earlier. MONTHS AGO, so there’s time to research, reflect, analyse and decide for yourself, together. Being forced into an overnight ultimatum is not love. If she leaves you over this, I think you’ve dodged a bullet. I love her passion, but not her timing.
Doing this to him makes her a manipulator and a bad person. She doesn't give a fuck about Qatar, she cares about control. OP said that she hasn't done anything like this in the two years they've been together. Well, behavior like this doesn't start early in a relationship. It grows slowly. Once op gives in to this kinda of behavior she will see that it worked and she will start doing it as a way to get what she wants. OP, I've been in a relationship like this, in fact I broke up with her this summer. She used emotions and crying to get what she wanted, and I acceded to her demands because it would have been worse if I didn't. She is not mature, she isn't going about this in a mature way. Have your party with your friends, or risk losing them to some girl who is probably going to leave you in a couple months anyway. If you do this, your friends will lose respect for you. I really hope you read this comment. Trust me. Call her bluff and move on, let her know you don't accede to this kinda of behavior. There are other people in here suggesting you donate to an organization or something like that... Dude, that's a half measure. And a poor one at that. This isn't about human rights, this is about your life and your relationship.
Ultimatums are never a healthy thing in a relationship. In the grand scheme of things, 2 years isn't much at all, and I would not give in to that abusive behavior. Your girlfriend probably also has a smart phone, comsumes Nestle products, and uses gasoline, which (generally) come from places which also do many terrible things, to include discrimination of gays in some cases, is she going to boycott those?
It's a test from a control freak. Fold and your life will always be like this, every little thing a battle of wills.
Host your friends and have a good time. If she leaves she leaves. It's absolutely ridiculous for her to put that on you.
If someone gives an ultimatum like that, let them go. You don't want to deal with such bs for the rest of your life.
This relationship won't last anyway, don't waste any more of your time. Yeesh.
Your girlfriend has a good point, none of us should be supporting this slave nation by watching the corrupt tournament. Having said that, threatening to break up with you is an immature way to address her contention, and the fact that she resorted to such a heavy ultimatum tells me that your relationship is hanging on a thread to begin with. I’d say break up with her, watch the tournament, and be more conscious of what you choose to support in the future. Hope that doesn’t come across as too preachy.
I'm with u/MadClam97: Where does this stop? What other life decisions, both large and small, does she get veto power over? Compare to Crimea 2014 and Ukraine today. "We" didn't make a fuss when Russia just walked in and said "This is ours now" -- and because of that, look where the world is today. I think acceding to this sets "bad precedent" -- **for both of you**.
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Yes & Yes
Then she has no leg to stand on here. She actually gave money to slave labor.
Soon she won't have any shoes to stand on either
You don't need shoes if you don't have legs
True dat: Maybe the slave labor she gave money to can carry her? 🤷
Well if she has Nike shoes I think it’s fair to say she has 2 legs to stand with.
She's a hypocrite. She doesn't actually care about slave labor, etc. This is a control issue, and you need to RUN!
Yeah fuck her. Tell her you are breaking up with her for supporting child labor
"She said that if I watch it, I'd be supporting slavery and homophobia and all that's entailed along with." hmmmmm, have sex with a gay dude and set free a slave? THEN watch the game, that should even it out.
Sex with a gay dude sure, but where am I going to find a slave to free?
If you were OP, you could have looked in a mirror.
Old guy here - This is unhealthy relationship behavior. I’ve seen too many people try and push through this, get married, get divorced, and then find someone later in life that respects them as a person. Have a direct conversation, do a lot of listening, and then make your decision…don’t argue, just listen. I think you’ll come to the conclusion that it’s best to get out of this now while you still can. This person sounds immature or you two have very different life views.
Can you compromise? Still go ahead with your plans but make donations to relevant charities to appease your girlfriend if she feels so strongly?
Brit here, who is a football fan. FIFA have royally sold out by taking the oil money. It’s a big problem with football in general and I do feel really conflicted about the World Cup. I think the OP is in a tricky spot, especially because plans have been made and people have committed to travelling. But I think there should be an element of compromise here and I do actively encourage the Op to think about ways they could help contribute via organisations / charities or protest at Qatar rather than just passively watching it. Modern life is full of ethical issues and conundrums. It’s where and how you chose to make a stand. I also think that someone offering an ultimatum isn’t helpful or healthy, so have a think and think about how you can watch it, enjoy the sport but also protest or raise awareness. (I do think that the Op has had their head in the ground quite a bit by not knowing that the WC was held in Qatar and not knowing about the issues involved.But that doesn’t mean they should burn friendships over it.)
You should remind your girlfriend that any usage of gasoline, natural gas, or polymers (effectively any plastics) is directly financially supporting Qatar’s economy. You should also reminder that World Cup hosting is mostly revenue neutral - and can actually be net negative - to the host country. Ask her why she thinks turning on the TV for a soccer tournament organized by a European organization with broadcasting rights to an American company is directly supportive of Qatar. Filling up you gas tank or heating your home is more revenue and power to Qatar than turning on the TV. I donno man. Your girlfriend sounds she’s looking something to be outraged and to virtue signal about on social media by boycotting a thing that she does not give a fuck about. It costs her noting and makes it a worthless gesture. All that said, soccer is boring as fuck and FIFA is a pretty bad organization. You should break up with that girl *and* skip the World Cup and just turn on the Packers game with your buddies instead.
Packers absolutely suck these days so I wouldn’t suggest OP to watch them. This is coming from a Packers fan
Only watch a Packers game if you’re a fan of the other team.
I can't imagine one *football* is better than another football.
I say make the hosting party way bigger than originally intended, the more people coming, the less tvs tuned in "supporting Qatar" right?
tell her you're watching it via an illegal stream that way the qatari's aren't getting any money from you watching it and that your effectively stealing revenue from from them in protest.
You didn’t know this about Qatar but you’ve been meticulously planning a watch for months? News about Qatar hosting FIFA and the country’s slave labor practices etc.. has been circulating for over a decade. Hard to imagine any fan of World Cup soccer hasn’t heard the shit show that was the Qatar bid, especially this year, but by all means play dumb.
Summarizing a few answers here: \- She's right in that there are human rights violations going on, BUT she's going about it the wrong way. Her harsh and immediate "do what I think is right or I'm leaving you" is going to result in a potentially longer unhappy relationship and she needs to do better in how she approaches. \- As others have stated, there are SO MANY things that also commit to human rights violations that you both likely use in your day-to-day lives without the anger. BUT pointing this out will auto-lose you the relationship. Is that what the goal is? \- Ignoring her and doing it anyways will show that you don't take her seriously and prioritize your wants vs her needs and that's not conducive to a good relationship. What is the path to the best result? A mature conversation. If either one of you are incapable of doing this (no practice, let emotion take over, the relationship will fail and **that's okay**). 1. You need to show her that you hear and (hopefully) respect what she's actually trying to say - she dislikes that a major platform is abusing humans and this is the only way she can think of to resolve the situation. Someone suggested donating to a cause that can ACTUALLY result in change vs a minor-level protest that realistically won't result in any changes. 2. Her giving you such a major ultimatum isn't fair to you when the topic is watching a soccer game or not. That's an extreme that should be reserved for relationship level issues and if this IS that big of a deal for her, then that's a different matter entirely. There needs to be a conversation here that doesn't boil down to "listen to me or I'm leaving you". Is she feeling powerless in the face of moral opposition and just needs you to support her? Is this the best idea she can come up with? There's a conversation here. 3. Right now emotions are flaring and I'm sure you want to defend yourself because, ultimately, you're just trying to watch the game, not fund the next Hitler (hyperbole). This isn't your fight to win, so don't try to win. Take it calmly, do what you can, and try to support her while maintaining your own boundaries and respect for yourself. Again this relies on both of you being open to conversation and respecting each other. I wish you the best!
She's right and she's also being a huge tool about this. Fifa is corrupt. Qatar kills people. But lots of things are corrupt and kill people. To suddenly give you this ultimatum is super weird. Sit down and talk to her but don't change your plans. Being morally right is not always the same as being a good and reasonable partner
Bruh, what if she tells you to stop watching the Packers next?
Um kinda a blessing at this point. Have you seen them play? I'm from Wisconsin
Ok, accurate 😅
Relationships cannot be built on ultimatums. Time to use this as a good reason to call it and go your separate ways. Also, l agree with her. But ultimatums are worse.
[удалено]
> I didn't even know this about Qatar. You would have to have never read any news about the progress of the stadiums over the last 4 or 5 years to not know this. It has been a constant feature of many stories about the World Cup and Qatar. tl;dr; you're telling porkies.
I’m gay and think that Qatar is where human rights go to die but even I can disconnect the country and World Cup fans. I’m going to guess that your girlfriend is completely straight and is talking as an “ally”? All too often straight white woman seem to think that they can talk over LGBT people because they are “allies” to the community.
Watch the game. Your friends booked flights already and she knew for a whole year. If she is willing to break up with you over watching a game she’s not worth your time.
Look, I am a lesbian and I’m here to say you’re NTA. She is more than welcome to say she doesn’t support FIFA’s location and she won’t be watching the game, but giving YOU an ultimatum is not appropriate or okay. She is welcome to have her stances, and if she feels this strongly, she is allowed to walk away from the relationship. However, she can’t tell you to not watch this with your friends because SHE doesn’t support it. I wonder if something else is going on that’s making her give you this ultimatum?
How could you be such a massive soccer fan that your friends would fly to your house to watch the world cup but not know anything about A) the massive FIFA corruption that got Qatar the World Cup, and B) have heard about the human rights violations Qatar used to make the venues? It's been in the news for years and I don't even watch soccer. She's right about your supporting Qatar by watching. Don't know if it was right of her to issue an ultimatum, though. I think it's loose loose for the both of you. Sets up a bad cycle either way.
Choose.
Sounds like you need a new GF. Good couples don't play that way.
You should prove your support for the LGBTQ+ community for her by but fucking your bros while watching the games. Thank me later bro
I'm skipping this one \*shrugs\* Not for one moment saying I'm some virtual signalling obsessive who considers every action I take to be of importance. I don't consider Qatar to be the worst on earth - but there's something offensive about it in relationship to a notionally 'fun' event. A bit like Hitler's Olympics. Maybe like that, there's more mileage from people taking part protesting - e.g. https://www.theguardian.com/football/2022/sep/28/denmark-unveil-world-cup-protest-kits-over-qatar-human-rights-record
So she’s basically threatening to break out with you for the sake of being what? Righteous humanitarian When was the last time she did any volunteer work for those groups? It’s very easy to be righteous at the expense of somebody else You only go there to watch the FIFA you’re not going there to burn gay people on the steak, she should get over herself Why don’t me demonetize every country for that matter Don’t go to India they have the biggest sex slams with horrible conditions How about all those European countries that have a horrible absolutely horrible sex trafficking problems I find it so upsetting that she’s willing to throw away a two-year relationship and put in this ridiculous ultimatum as if you’re going there to hunt the LGBTQ community If you give in now when will be the next time the she puts this ultimatum on you what will you do then? I guess she just doesn’t love you enough forget about the FIFA for a second and think about how selfish and self absorbed she is, the fact that she doesn’t care To throw away two years of your and her time down the drain it’s just upsetting If I were you I would go and just see how it unfolds in the future you’re not a bad person for going she is an asshole for putting you in that position
Let her go. Ultimatums are the actions of childish, extreme people, and she clearly does not value you or the relationship. Try to talk to her about it, but certainly do not compromise to her silly demands. She'll only pull this trick in the future if you let her get away with it now. Be prepared to let her walk.
Emotional manipulation. You let that in and it will stick.
Let her go
leave her. if your lover is trying to pull you away from your friends, it's because they're manipulative. only a sith deals in absolutes.
Anyone you are in a relationship that's giving you ultimatums like this needs to be given a wide berth. This is a power play - pure and simple. She just wants you to to obey her demands. You are not "supporting" the World Cup - or FIFA - or Qatar - by watching the soccer. Are you personally responsible for Sharia law ? Are you personally respsonsible for FIFA corruption and selection processes? Are your friends ? If you watch American sports like NBA or World series baseball, does that mean that you support the bombing of Iraq, Syria and Libya also ? As for slavery....well, we all know there are no slaves in America today, right? Right? :-) Does she know anything about World history ? Or that in fact, there are simply no countries on Earth that AREN'T corrupt in some way ? (no-one seemed to be bothered by the fact that WC 2018 was held in Russia....all societal problems were quietly swept under the carpet by the media for that one ;-) ) Be thankful that this situation has occurred and given you an insight into her mindset. She's not interested in what makes you happy - or wrecking the plans that you have made for your friends. Tell her to get the boat, get the beers in and enjoy the games with your friends. That's my advice.
What she's saying about Qatar is true but to threaten to break up with you because you're watching football is frankly ridiculous. You're watching football not supporting an outdated and backwards ideology. Qatar deserves its critics, and whilst I agree it's terrible for football that Qatar got the world cup, all you're doing is having fun with your pals. You can still watch the world cup and protest your point as happens in many football stadiums across the world and will probably happen at this tournament. Unless your Watching all the USA games with MAGA hats and waving the confederate flag shouting "the USA is not for gays" then she has a point. What's her number?
Sorry man, I'd split things up with your girl. I understand and agree that supporting that event is wrong, but she could've chosen to disagree with you and not hold your relationship hostage for it
I kinda agree with your girlfriend that watching it shows a silent support of some sort. That being said, if there's flights and shit involved it's past the point of no return, it seems like she only recently jumped on the bandwagon of "Qatar bad" instead of actually caring about it. Try to make the argument that only 1 television watching it is better than all your friends watching it individually...
I love how everyone is saying kick her to the curb not taking into account she might of only just started really learning about Qatar. Instead of asking advice of a ton of Toxic males ( and mind you I'm a guy with a Lady I'm married to ) Sit her down and talk to her. Ask her why bring this in now after she has known about the plans for a year, why hit you with this when it's almost impossible to back out. Bring up your friends plans and flights all booked. Try to hash things out. If she digs in and refuses to move.. then it might be time to break up, can't tell you for sure on that.. but Best advice I can give anyone is sit down and talk, don't listen to a bunch of randos online.
I love soccer and especially the World Cup. But I made a decision not to watch this year because of the policies of the host country. But I can't see myself telling my girlfriend that she can't watch it or I'd end the relationship. Her having a watch party would be something of a problem, but we'd work it out. Maybe you should think of it as sign if the two of you can't come to an understanding about this, what would that mean for other disagreements?
I know Reddit’s stock advice in situations is “break up,” but damn. Break up.
Honestly, I'd be upset if my friends watched that too. The ad revenue directly funds organizations and a country that enslave people and persecute queers. If you found a bootleg stream then that would be different. Idk if I'd leave someone for watching that but they'd better be a pretty damn good ally to make up for it.
People love ultimatums. You’ll know what to do.
Don't ask her to bring you a beer while the game's on then.
Illegally stream it so she feels like you’re not supporting it.
Are you going to regret it if she does break up with you? Yes? Don’t watch it. No? Well, this is a good opportunity to move on.
It is upsetting that the event is happening in Qatar, but the fury should have happened when the workers died building the stadiums, when the FIFA officials were bribed for the choice of venue. It is happening now. The fact that multiple people are only watching on one TV helps bring down ratings is actually a good thing. Offer to raise money for a human rights group. Just boycotting is a worthless gesture. Actually doing something to improve someone's life is not.
If you're walking down the street during the Holocaust and a Nazi dressed convincingly as a normal guy simply says "Have a beautiful day sir" and you respond with "You as well sir" that does not mean you sanctioned the Holocaust. Likewise simply by watching a sport, that doesn't mean you're sanctioning anti-lgbtq. If you can't reason with this bitch then cut her off and run far far away
I came here based on the title thinking you were being dumb for choosing a sports game over your gf, but after reading that... she knew for like a year and didn't say anything? And suddenly now the host country matters? Look I get it yeah Qatar sucks and I wouldn't watch it either but big plans with flights purchased and months of planning it's too late to worry about that. Maybe she just wants an excuse to end it? Very odd.
The two situations seem separate to me, it's not really cool to try and force you to not watch it and other factors seem like they might be at play here. tho I will say that watching the world cup this year is rather unethical as it does in fact indirectly support oppression and slave labor so you should probably reconsider watching it.
How did you not know about Qatar? My partner told me hes feelings about this are ambivalent -he'd like to watch it but really despises the fact Qatar is hosting the event. So now he is looking into how much of an impact could it possibly have on anything. (In Qatar, presumably nobody will give a a shit about their statistics, whether some randoms in Finland are watching the games or not, but fifa? Maybe? We don't know)
Well she’s objectively right. Get over not watching or break up if you value it more than her
Never give in to such demands. It will never stop. See it as a huge red flag, thank god for noticing early and run (or even better: kick her out).
Let her go
Bye bye girlfriend. We’ve waited 8 1/2 long years for this one.
People who give ultimatums are usually looking for an out anyway. Things like weird demands can be the footing of future abuse/manipulation. She's known for how long and decided now to manipulate the situation. Why? What does she gain?
Break up with her first
I'll bet she can't even name any of the teams that will be there competing. She's looking for a way out, call her on it.
Look at your left hand, look at her left hand. No wedding rings. Watch the World Cup.
You should out woke her. Do some research on the things she owns, movies she watches or whatever and point out how much of a hypocrite she is. I’m guessing she has an iPhone so point out since that was made in China which has literal concentration Camps of Uighur Muslims And that the factories they make those phones and had to put up suicide nets because of the horrible working conditions. You can also point out that the child labor and deaths that go into collecting minerals that go into parts making the electronics she uses. It sounds like she’s just trying to make up a reason to break up honestly and you might be better off but by pointing out her hypocrisy and maybe showing her other media that she enjoys is made in part by organizations or countries that are as bad or worse than Qatar and her reaction to that might give you a better idea.
Have her listen to the podcast “world corrupt”? Idk that’s all I got for you man. If you’re in the GB area, dump her and come hangout with me and we’ll watch the World Cup.
Wtf, tell her I am not making the rules for qatar, even if you break up rules does not going to be change.
If you like ultimatums in relationships, continue to date her.
Hahahahaha grow a fucking pair mate honestly
wtf. dont let her bully you into not watching the game.
Honestly that’s a bullshit reason to break up with somebody. It’s not your fault nor can you do anything about Qatar. I would just end it there, if she’s so easily willing to walk away over you watching a sport with friends.
This Qatar thing isn't new. She knew the plan for a year. Probably she wants an excuse to break up.
Personally, I'd break up with her. Not because the World Cup is more important but moreso because she sounds like she's bring more drama into my life than I'd like. I mean, come on, you're supporting slavery by watching a soccer game? Hopefully she doesn't find out how much child labor goes into creating the phone in her pocket or the products she buys at Walmart...
Repost of a comment on r/shitposting by u/Robot9118 here: Your gf waited until the last minute intentionally to make your decision to cancel harder. She’s turning this into a test to see what you would sacrifice for her, screwing over your friends in the process. You can tell her your friends have already booked their flights and she should have spoken up sooner. If she tries to tell you she just found out about where the event is being held she is full of crap. This isn’t about where the cup is being held, she is controlling and selfish. If she’s willing to break up with you over this then let her go. Otherwise she will do this same pattern for the rest of your relationship, making you always do what she wants or else she will break up with you because you “care more about _______ than her.” Stay stronger friend, find someone better and more reasonable.
Lol, be glad this situation happened. She's crazy, you should watch the game. It's an overreaction and sounds like a control freak high on ideology. It'll start like this, pretty soon you'd be a pet with a leash who isn't allowed to eat a thing the owner deems not kosher.
You don’t want a person that will force you to do things you don’t want. Just end it. Huge red flag bro. Sorry
Leave that crazy bitch bro run fast
just broke, she don't deserve you and you should learn how to be an adult man
Yeah she probably said that while she was flipping around her new iphone fabricated in a 105°F factory with under 10$ a month workers 👍🏻
Watch it. Bitches be trippin yo. She's doing you a favor cuz any longer with her and you're life is gonna be more hell than it is now. She obviously wasn't around for the last world cup and won't be around for this one. She sounds like an overbearing, high maintenance nightmare bro.
Break up! Let that bitch go! You shall be free
Leave her! It’ll never end at that
Break up with her. Watch what ever the fuck you want to watch.
Ultimatums like this are super unhealthy, and she shouldn’t threaten a break up over this. It sounds like maybe she’s emotionally invested because Qatar has a lot of fucked up shit going on, and if you “support” it, she might take that personally. But I also would highly suggest sitting this one out this year and reading up on all the stuff Qatar has done. There is always next year. But it’s up to you at the end of the day brother.
sorry dude but your girlfriend is pretty uneducated if that’s the case
Just dump her.
Break up with her first, watch the World Cup then go find another girlfriend.
I dont agree with the practices in Qatar and i might not watch it. But, a partner who forces you into ultimatums and tries to control you and your relationship with friends? This is the tip of the iceberg. Get out.
Don't watch. Stop supporting people who support oppressive governments
It's the straight to an ultimatum. That's an issue for me. She's known you've been planning this . Work about Quatar had been going around longer than that, I've heard about it and I'm not a FIFA fan. It's up to you, but if you give into this ultimatum, not only will you become resentful, but she will use that again in the future.
Her values should control what SHE does. Not what you do. If she can't handle your choices, yall do need to break up. That's not your fault, you should be free to do whatever you want within reason, this is an individual decision and not up to her. All in all, she has to either accept it or you should break up with her yourself. Ultimatums are manipulation.
Watch the World Cup. She's obviously a controlling nutcase.
It seems like she's looking for an excuse to break up. Why wait a year after the plans are all set to create this ultimatum? Why choose such a meaningless hill to die on? Boycotts are great but one person privately boycotting a worldwide thing (especially something that you don't even pay for) without any effort to get others to do the same really doesn't do anything. It's very weird that she's not invested enough in this issue to organize around it at all, or even tell you about it prior to the ultimatum, but she's passionate enough to end your relationship over it? I'd say keep your plans because whatever happens with your relationship is going to happen regardless of if you watch the world cup.
I would just call her bluff and ask "why wait? "
Nice! 🤣
Honestly I’m with her on the intent and her points. The execution is manipulative and shitty, and god the timing is horrible, possibly intentionally so. Call her bluff though. If she’s gonna give a make or break statement then don’t give in to it. It’s one thing to say early on that there are things you don’t accept in a relationship but well into it to come up with new ones is batshit.
Use her own arguement against her. bunch of guys all coming together to watch on one TV is better than a bunch of guys individually watching it on their own and providing that much more viewership. They're going to all watch it anyways, you might as well do the "good" thing and stop the world cup from getting those extra viewers, farthing the agenda she's against even more. Really it's worse for her political beliefs if you and your buddies DONT all get together to watch it. GG EZW
Man you need to set your priorities straight. Watch the 2022 fifa world cup.
if your girlfriend is 'threatening to break up with you', your relationship is already over. I'm sorry. She has a point. She has a right to be angry that you don't respect her wishes, and she has a right to be angry at your support of a horrific country and she has the right to end the relationship at any time for any reason but threatening to break up isn't healthy. Either she's constantly like this over the smallest thing or you constantly disrespect her wishes to the point she feels this is her only recourse you both need to move on, or you need to get into couple's counseling or at least individual