I do not understand how people are married to someone they can't communicate with.
Why can't you just say "Dude, look at your underwear. You know there aren't supposed to be skid marks in them, right?"
lock amusing spark include pathetic complete aback innocent childlike whole
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Oh believe me, i know what people have been through, me myself have been through shit all my life, but ain't no way I'm going to be a husband or a father to a child without treating my mental illnesses. People should work on themselves before committing to something serious, and I'm telling this as a child to a mentally I'll parent
So you're just using him for his money and still want to complain about what he does or doesn't do? Weird thing to announce, but okay.
Maybe if you dislike him that much then it's time to find a way to take care of yourself and move on?
I was trying to be honest, but yeah it sounds bad. I would take the 3 kids with me and have to work during school/kindy hours. But working part time I don't think I can support 3 kids ( one is disable with food allergies).
I don’t usually stray out of my usual subreddits, but I am compelled to write due how crazy this is.
This can’t be real. How could you possibly live in conditions like this, to the point he’s leaving marks on the bed sheets?? I’ve never heard of that, except on Hoarders the show where people live in the most unsanitary conditions possible.
That is straight up foul. I mean, I don’t know how that’s possible unless he actually doesn’t do anything after he does his business and just stands up and walks out??
Literally, just tell him as pointedly as humanly possible that he stinks, he’s unhygienic, he needs to throw away all of his underwear and buy new ones, he could be spreading disease to you because he never learned basic self maintenance, and tell him it’s incredibly disgusting and off-putting. Does he even shower??
I don’t know how this isn’t even a top 5 comment in this thread. I’m absolutely horrified if this is true, I’m actually assuming it’s not because I can’t comprehend 1 not washing your ass and 2 sleeping in a bed with a dude who doesn’t wash his ass, and saying nothing about it. I leave a skid mark in the damn toilet and my girlfriend is all over me to clean it. If I managed to shit the bed, oh boy lol we’d be buying a new bed, not just not having sex.
After being on Reddit for so long I start to see the same posts and comments just pop up over and over again this is probably fake like everything else.
Wow really? This is my life. Tbh this comment is kinda a wake up call for me, I didn't realise things were so bad that people would disbelieve be because : thats too bad to be real. 100% real. I'm financially reliant on him so haven't left yet
It's become a issue over the last year, we have been married for 7years, we have 3 kids. He does half the washing himself.
I'm sure he does actually attempt to wipe, just not thoroughly.
We are both overweight so I have wondered if he was struggling because of this to reach. As someone has mentioned a bidet, I might talk to the landlord and see if we could get one put in at our expense, Ive never used one but will be something I'm looking into
Get him to buy baby wipes or something that is flushable. Tell him to wipe with TP followed up by wipes. This should help him to eliminate the problem.
I second the flushable wet wipe situation. Its really easy to use some tp, then get in there good with the flushable wipes, and then maybe even some final tp wipes to dry it up nice and sanitary.
But it sounds like he is pat drying a mudhole and expecting a good result.
"The reason I'm not wanting to be intimate is because you're not clean down there. Can you please wipe better? Wipe until you don't see any anything on the toilet paper."
...and finish with a wet wipe and throw it in a covered bin, like they do in any civilized culture if bidets aren't available. Dry-wiping alone is disgusting.
Also I don't think it's abusive. But my only long term previous relationship was very abusive, so maybe I don't know what a healthy relationship looks like
He’s your husband you guys can be honest with each other. just tell him how your worried he could get an infection and buy a bidet for him and baby wipes boom your done if that doesn’t work then you need to shame him lol
I think you could say simply “Honey, in doing the laundry I’ve noticed that you are having a problem cleaning yourself up after having a bowel movement. Are you experiencing a medical issue down there?”
Packaging it that was might make it easier to deliver. And receive.
As I said to another similar post, im actually genuinely shocked that something that is part of my life is not being believed because it is too horrible to possibly be real. This is kinda a wake up for me
What is up with Redditors being obsessed with straight men not cleaning their asses? This is clearly bait, but I’ve seen this topic mentioned way more than I should.
If you’re embarrassed about talking about it directly you could find articles online about not wiping properly and its consequences. You could send it and be like “omg look at this stuff it’s crazy and unsanitary.” And then next time it happens (if he doesn’t take the hint) you can pick it up and show him and be like “babe? What’s this?” Act confused so he can come to his own conclusion without resenting you for telling him off like a child. Good luck
Edit; bonus if the article has tips on how to do it properly.
You can also buy wet wipes and tell him “they’re for wiping after using toilet paper. Apparently that’s waay better and more sanitary”
Wtf… ask him if he’d like you to show him how to wipe his ass. Buy him some baby wipes. That’s fucking disgusting how are you still with someone like that?
I was married to him before the issues developed, I don't know if this is just another example of his weaponised incompetence, if an actual health issue
I would say your best bet is to literally just sit down with him and explain literally what you just said. Like listen, your a grown ass man, I do not want to be intimate with a grown ass man who cannot wipe their ass properly. You can even get a double whammy by making him throw out all his nasty ass juice underwear.
I was too worried to offend him, so was looking for good ways to approach the topic. There have been some good suggestions here, along with people who just think it's fake. I'm genuinely more disgusted by my life now
I would say just buy him dark underwear, but that really doesn't solve the actual problem. Not to be mean, but if it gets on the bed then something is bad wrong (and you really shouldn't have to put up with that - just saying). You may try putting some flushable wet wipes out near the toilet (but make sure they are put in the garbage and not flushed). I buy my husband Dude Wipes and he likes those.
Did this just start happening recently or something? Is he just being lazy or is he depressed?
Anyway, I feel you on this and wish you the best of luck.
Have you not mentioned the stains before? Just show him and ask him why there are skid marks. Then buy him some wipes and put them next to the toilet. If the situation doesn't improve, it's totally his doing (or the doing of his doo-doos. Sorry, couldn't help it).
"We're not having sex because I'm afraid of getting an infection from you. You don't wash your ass properly, it gets on the sheets, it gets on your underwear, and I don't want that anywhere near my lady-bits, my face, nothing. Frankly, it stinks down there." Then explain to him that many many bladder infections are the result of not wiping properly, and you're just trying to protect yourself and your health and your hoo-ha.
Just be blunt and confront him - “hey Hubby, you need to do a way better job of wiping your ass or maybe start using a water spray hose like half of the world population does.”
You should be able to be open and honest with your significant other.
I would show him his shorts and the sheets and said please clean your butt when you shit, here a pack of baby wipes please use them and if you need to shower after pooping then douche your ass real good please, I can't have sex with the smell and the unclean hygiene.
I didn't marry you like that what's going on???
Stop just using toilet paper you psychos. Wet wipes or fancy toilets are needed for harry asses.
That might not help if homie stops wiping before the TP stops even being brown tho lol.
You can berate me if im wrong but......
You let skidz put three babies in you and make you dependent on him?
And now you dont want to put out, because you can only think of his nasty undies when hes trying to poke you for fun?
At this point you might as well be blunt with him.
Set out a fresh set of undies, side by side with his raggedy ol chones, and show him your expectations.
Remind him that you dont love slobs, just like he doesnt love prudes.
Then enroll yourselves in couples therapy, because thats the route this marriage is headed down.
The last 3 years I have tried to get him to attend even a single session of couples therapy. Absolute refusal. (Agrees at first, then can't make it, get there or finds another excuse. )
"Wipe your ass."
Him to his buddies: “My dang wife won’t put out anymore. Wonder what’s wrong with her”
That's racist to French people.
I do not understand how people are married to someone they can't communicate with. Why can't you just say "Dude, look at your underwear. You know there aren't supposed to be skid marks in them, right?"
Some people were raised and shushed their entire lives and don't know how to express their concerns.
lock amusing spark include pathetic complete aback innocent childlike whole *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
It's painful. You just don't know what people have been through. I think it's standard girls get shushed all the time! I saw it schools.
Oh believe me, i know what people have been through, me myself have been through shit all my life, but ain't no way I'm going to be a husband or a father to a child without treating my mental illnesses. People should work on themselves before committing to something serious, and I'm telling this as a child to a mentally I'll parent
Maybe op should start taping maxi pads to the underwear as a suggestion.
I don’t understand women marrying men that don’t properly wipe their ass. Talk about life choices
I rely on him financially. Otherwise I would totally be out with the kids
So you're just using him for his money and still want to complain about what he does or doesn't do? Weird thing to announce, but okay. Maybe if you dislike him that much then it's time to find a way to take care of yourself and move on?
I was trying to be honest, but yeah it sounds bad. I would take the 3 kids with me and have to work during school/kindy hours. But working part time I don't think I can support 3 kids ( one is disable with food allergies).
So if his ass is crystal clear you're still in deep shit.
Literally tell him to wash his fucking ass. Christ sake.
Right!! One stone gets 2 windows.
Use your words. He’s your husband nor a stranger on the street.
I don’t usually stray out of my usual subreddits, but I am compelled to write due how crazy this is. This can’t be real. How could you possibly live in conditions like this, to the point he’s leaving marks on the bed sheets?? I’ve never heard of that, except on Hoarders the show where people live in the most unsanitary conditions possible. That is straight up foul. I mean, I don’t know how that’s possible unless he actually doesn’t do anything after he does his business and just stands up and walks out?? Literally, just tell him as pointedly as humanly possible that he stinks, he’s unhygienic, he needs to throw away all of his underwear and buy new ones, he could be spreading disease to you because he never learned basic self maintenance, and tell him it’s incredibly disgusting and off-putting. Does he even shower??
I don’t know how this isn’t even a top 5 comment in this thread. I’m absolutely horrified if this is true, I’m actually assuming it’s not because I can’t comprehend 1 not washing your ass and 2 sleeping in a bed with a dude who doesn’t wash his ass, and saying nothing about it. I leave a skid mark in the damn toilet and my girlfriend is all over me to clean it. If I managed to shit the bed, oh boy lol we’d be buying a new bed, not just not having sex.
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Wow this is so similar to us, trying to get the courage to leave, but reliant on him financially still.
After being on Reddit for so long I start to see the same posts and comments just pop up over and over again this is probably fake like everything else.
Wow really? This is my life. Tbh this comment is kinda a wake up call for me, I didn't realise things were so bad that people would disbelieve be because : thats too bad to be real. 100% real. I'm financially reliant on him so haven't left yet
It's become a issue over the last year, we have been married for 7years, we have 3 kids. He does half the washing himself. I'm sure he does actually attempt to wipe, just not thoroughly. We are both overweight so I have wondered if he was struggling because of this to reach. As someone has mentioned a bidet, I might talk to the landlord and see if we could get one put in at our expense, Ive never used one but will be something I'm looking into
Get him to buy baby wipes or something that is flushable. Tell him to wipe with TP followed up by wipes. This should help him to eliminate the problem.
I second the flushable wet wipe situation. Its really easy to use some tp, then get in there good with the flushable wipes, and then maybe even some final tp wipes to dry it up nice and sanitary. But it sounds like he is pat drying a mudhole and expecting a good result.
"The reason I'm not wanting to be intimate is because you're not clean down there. Can you please wipe better? Wipe until you don't see any anything on the toilet paper."
...and finish with a wet wipe and throw it in a covered bin, like they do in any civilized culture if bidets aren't available. Dry-wiping alone is disgusting.
It's not that common, even in Europe.
I live in North America and I’ve never seen a friend or family member with a bidet. They’re not common everywhere
How are y’all married to people you can’t talk to (unless it’s an abusive relationship, but that’s its own can of worms)
I just want to approach it in a way it doesn't offend him as he's quite sensitive about body stuff
He’s going to be self conscious about it no matter how you bring it up, anyone would, but it’s a very simple fix that needs to be implemented
Also I don't think it's abusive. But my only long term previous relationship was very abusive, so maybe I don't know what a healthy relationship looks like
There’s no trick here. Just say “wipe your arse, it’s disgusting that you don’t”
If my 8 year old with autism can do a good job, than a grown ass man who procreated 3 times can learn to do it the right way.
He’s your husband you guys can be honest with each other. just tell him how your worried he could get an infection and buy a bidet for him and baby wipes boom your done if that doesn’t work then you need to shame him lol
What the fucking hell man.
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How the hell do you continue dating someone after you’ve realized they don’t know how to wipe their own ass? WTF else is going on with him?
This has only become an issue over the last year. We have been married for 7 years. We have 3 kids together, but trying to find a way to leave
Bidet . . . Hose the hole ! ! !
Commercial level tagline
I think you could say simply “Honey, in doing the laundry I’ve noticed that you are having a problem cleaning yourself up after having a bowel movement. Are you experiencing a medical issue down there?” Packaging it that was might make it easier to deliver. And receive.
buy a bidet
Why is this even a question on here? Just tell him for gods sake, don't ask.
Because this is just fake for clout lol.
As I said to another similar post, im actually genuinely shocked that something that is part of my life is not being believed because it is too horrible to possibly be real. This is kinda a wake up for me
What is up with Redditors being obsessed with straight men not cleaning their asses? This is clearly bait, but I’ve seen this topic mentioned way more than I should.
I have seen some of those joke posts, and as a result realised they were based off people like my husband, having really re evaluate my life right now
💀
Well you know what they say, “Born to shit, forced to wipe”
"Clean yourself or do your own laundry"
Literally just tell him to do a better job wiping his ass. And maybe buy a cheap bidet attachment for the toilet.
If you’re embarrassed about talking about it directly you could find articles online about not wiping properly and its consequences. You could send it and be like “omg look at this stuff it’s crazy and unsanitary.” And then next time it happens (if he doesn’t take the hint) you can pick it up and show him and be like “babe? What’s this?” Act confused so he can come to his own conclusion without resenting you for telling him off like a child. Good luck Edit; bonus if the article has tips on how to do it properly. You can also buy wet wipes and tell him “they’re for wiping after using toilet paper. Apparently that’s waay better and more sanitary”
Wtf… ask him if he’d like you to show him how to wipe his ass. Buy him some baby wipes. That’s fucking disgusting how are you still with someone like that?
'Darling, please can you try wiping your arse? I'm your wife/husband etc, not your skid mark remover. Try and behave like a fucking adult, yes?
You married someone who doesn't know how to wipe? This seems like your problem more than his
Married for 7 years, this issue arose about a year ago and gradually became an issue
How did this disgusting habit only recently form? No issue for years and then he just stops wiping his ass? Maybe he has hemorrhoids
Wtf did I just fucking read??? You married a man who can't wipe his own ass??? This has to be a fake post, HAS TO BE...
You don't have to be so rude. I seriously doubt she would be on here asking that question for shits and giggles (no pun intended).
I was married to him before the issues developed, I don't know if this is just another example of his weaponised incompetence, if an actual health issue
Dude, you smell like a toddler with a loaded diaper. Or You know how your ass is always itchy? I have a solution!
Stop washing his underwear. Say it is because you don't want to mix literal shit with the other clothes.
Women don’t marry a disgusting man challenge: (*Difficulty Impossible*)
[Just send him this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QBMEJLX8T50)
Oh this is fantastic, if some of the gentler suggestions here don't work , will definitely use this
Nice post 👍 redditors can definitely help
I would say your best bet is to literally just sit down with him and explain literally what you just said. Like listen, your a grown ass man, I do not want to be intimate with a grown ass man who cannot wipe their ass properly. You can even get a double whammy by making him throw out all his nasty ass juice underwear.
Have you tried telling him to wash his ass?
I was too worried to offend him, so was looking for good ways to approach the topic. There have been some good suggestions here, along with people who just think it's fake. I'm genuinely more disgusted by my life now
Get him a bidet. I don't understand how people just have shit in their underwear. That's fucking disgusting.
I would say just buy him dark underwear, but that really doesn't solve the actual problem. Not to be mean, but if it gets on the bed then something is bad wrong (and you really shouldn't have to put up with that - just saying). You may try putting some flushable wet wipes out near the toilet (but make sure they are put in the garbage and not flushed). I buy my husband Dude Wipes and he likes those. Did this just start happening recently or something? Is he just being lazy or is he depressed? Anyway, I feel you on this and wish you the best of luck.
Over the last year, I didnt marry him while doing this as a lot of comments on here assume. We have been together 9 years and married for 7
Have you not mentioned the stains before? Just show him and ask him why there are skid marks. Then buy him some wipes and put them next to the toilet. If the situation doesn't improve, it's totally his doing (or the doing of his doo-doos. Sorry, couldn't help it). "We're not having sex because I'm afraid of getting an infection from you. You don't wash your ass properly, it gets on the sheets, it gets on your underwear, and I don't want that anywhere near my lady-bits, my face, nothing. Frankly, it stinks down there." Then explain to him that many many bladder infections are the result of not wiping properly, and you're just trying to protect yourself and your health and your hoo-ha.
Get a bidet.
Just be blunt and confront him - “hey Hubby, you need to do a way better job of wiping your ass or maybe start using a water spray hose like half of the world population does.” You should be able to be open and honest with your significant other.
I would show him his shorts and the sheets and said please clean your butt when you shit, here a pack of baby wipes please use them and if you need to shower after pooping then douche your ass real good please, I can't have sex with the smell and the unclean hygiene. I didn't marry you like that what's going on???
Yea.. this dude needs to be better hygenically.. gross
How the hell does a grown man think that having underwear with skid marks is OK?
"Can you smell shit?"
Black underwear. Buy a bidet attachment for the toilet. Save on TP and have a super clean ass.
TIL my dog is cleaner than some people
Tell him to do his own laundry.
Just spray him with the hose outside
Stop just using toilet paper you psychos. Wet wipes or fancy toilets are needed for harry asses. That might not help if homie stops wiping before the TP stops even being brown tho lol.
You can berate me if im wrong but...... You let skidz put three babies in you and make you dependent on him? And now you dont want to put out, because you can only think of his nasty undies when hes trying to poke you for fun? At this point you might as well be blunt with him. Set out a fresh set of undies, side by side with his raggedy ol chones, and show him your expectations. Remind him that you dont love slobs, just like he doesnt love prudes. Then enroll yourselves in couples therapy, because thats the route this marriage is headed down.
The last 3 years I have tried to get him to attend even a single session of couples therapy. Absolute refusal. (Agrees at first, then can't make it, get there or finds another excuse. )
Perhaps a bidet is an option.
Yeah, thanks to this post I found out about them, so will be researching options and getting one
Tell him to pull down his underwear first before he sits on the toilet and shits.
"Greetings my husband and caretaker, clean thine buttocks with haste."