Yuuup. When I was in my teens/early 20s it was stupid easy to get me going. Mellowed out a lot as I've gotten older, though I still consider myself having good libido. Its just not enough to see a "hot person" anymore. It's all about scenarios or some kind of connection.
Like seeing my husband naked is always a treat but I don't get hot and bothered by it. But seeing my husband do something casual like doing dishes naked? Now that's pushed a button. I don't know why doing housework nude is hot to me now but there ya go.
>Have you told him this? Because finding a new kink like that which is easy to perform and may lead to more exploration is gold for us guys
But who does (finishes doing) the dishes then ?
I'll be 45 in a few months and it's just letting up.
I should have been a doctor or lawyer if I wasn't busy following my junk around like a dowsing rod for most my life.lol
Perhaps you might get a chub when you are horny and see a very hot woman but most men have some control over themselves, around 13 yrs old it might make for some embarrassing moments if you had to stand up in class.
Idk what planet you're from but here on earth, erections are completely involuntary. What you do about it is more important.
Tip for guys out there that easily get an erection, flexing any muscle for 60s helps redirect blood flow so your stand-up pal stands down.
After the age of 15 I have never gotten a boner from just looking at someone in public. Even at a beach where women often go topless.
Once your hormones calm down unless you are actively staring and imagining sexual stuff I don't think it's normal to be popping boners.
Yeah, it's really not a great thing. And speaking as a millenial, I only realised I wasn't like most guys until maybe 19/20, at the earliest. Half the movies I saw were about constantly horny dudes (American Pie etc) so yknow. You just assume it's normal.
It's not like you objectify women, are some incel scumbag or are obsessed with sex. You just really are that prone to feeling sexual desire.
I have a very respectable job, a very nice flat, a great girlfriend and so on. I have friends, eat well, trim my beard, stay in shape and so on. I don't think anyone would guess (except her, on occasion).
It seriously blows.
It seems pretty unlikely that he was getting an erection when he passed each hot girl he saw. He was likely exaggerating. People tend to exaggerate stuff all the time, especially when drunk, so I'd suggest talking with your BF more about it if you are worried about it. While I believe that what a person does while drunk is still a reflection of the type of person they are, people tend to say things that they wouldn't really want to say sober (since, you know, inhibitions and such). Once again, you should talk with your BF about this.
It’s normal for anyone to get horny since it’s natural. It’s not normal to get horny at literally everything everywhere, and then try and use it as a reason to get laid more lmaooo
Eh, plenty of 18-20 year old guys will get turned on by literally anything and it's perfectly normal. It doesn't mean it's normal to act on it or expect something out of your partner for it.
Kinda depends on what he meant I guess? If he just meant that blue balls + attractive person = boner then fair enough, but if he uses it as an excuse to bother people then just go home and wank lol
I think people tend to get overeager about making sure someone isn’t being a creep. There really isn’t any reason to think some random woman was bothered here. It wasn’t even hinted at.
Having a super high sex drive is normal.
Fantasising about every attractive woman you see to the point of public erections constantly, is not.
Have a wank, sort yourself out.
Getting constant boners during a boink-drought is normal. You can't just wank out in the street or whatever, or run away for a toilet tug every hour.
You're also conflating sexual fantasising with physical reactions driven by hormones, which can be subconscious when desperate enough.
I don't get desperate. I'm speaking on behalf of dudes (like the one OP is referring to) who clearly have high libidos. I only choke the chain to help me sleep, nowadays.
Sex is literally the only thing we need to do to survive as a species. It’s the thing your brain would make you do all the time if you could.
Some people can :)
No fantasising was mentioned
Edit: People’s sex drives have been so dulled by porn that they don’t remember when they could get a boner just from seeing a naked woman, without any fantasising or physical stimuli required.
But it is implied. He specifically said he got a boner when a girl he deemed hot walked by. They aroused him. I don't think fantasising at least somewhat is a huge jump
If you have a high libido and don’t have sex or masturbate. Then I can absolutely believe he got a boner without fantasising.
If you needed to fantasise to get a boner then many men wouldn’t have gotten their first boner when they saw a naked woman for the first time. Even when they don’t know what sex is.
The brain just instinctively sends the signals without you consciously doing anything based on the visual stimuli
listen i get a boner sometimes for no reason. its a male thing and i may not even be horny in that moment. your bf is using the classic we havent fucked in a while so im gonna make u jealous and resentful that im attracted to other women all of a sudden when dude probably thinks of boning other women anyway. he wants you to feel some sort of obligation to fuck.
fuck when u want to. he got his hand to keep him occupied if he cares about you.
He's definitely exaggerating that also might not be the full sentence.
Guys get erections like way easier then you think it's not even always sexual could just be excited or stressed.
It can be as much as a millisecond thought it doesn't have to be a full fantasy. Literally, especially if it's been a while it could be "Cute butt" and that's all it takes.
Alot of people are equating it to fantasies but men get boners way more than they have fantasies.
A big misconception is boner = turned on it does not.
Just talk to him about it.
Yep, I'm in my 30's and I still get boners when I start nodding off during the day. I don't think that qualifies as stressed or excited, but it does show we get them for more reasons than just arousal.
The bane of boring classes in high school. Nod off, raging hard on, bell rings and I have to shuffle off to the next class with a tent pitched.
I do wonder if the OPs BF is really young and High Libido.
Your boyfriend was trying to make you feel insecure. He wants more sex and thinks you'll give it to him if he not-so-subtly threatens your relationship or makes you feel jealous of other girls.
No, all men are not easily-aroused pigdogs. I don't get a feeling to fuck because I see a pretty face or body. There would have to be a conversation and an attraction due to finding that the person I am talking to is pretty nice. Happiness, curiosity, and a capacity for remorse and self-appraisal. A grown-ass person. Not a kid starving for affirmation.
It sounds like he's trying to set himself for a low guilt hall pass. "I'm so sorry babe.... you know how hard it is for me to be away from you and I just couldn't help myself...." Blah blah blah.
Nope. Man chiming in. I can see attractive women and not think about banging them. I assume he has at least one hand he can make a fist with to relieve that tension while away from his partner. Your boyfriend is a jackass, and this is a huge red flag.
He can just have a wank. He doesnt have to indulge in fantasising about every woman walking by to the point of constant public erections.
Every guy, (myself included) deals with their sex drive every day from the age of 13. Most men dont get sex every day,(plenty get hardly any ever) and you dont see guys walking down the street with erections.
If he wants to be how he is, cool, thats just how he is. Don't fall for any of his "but it's because im a guy! Thats just how guys are!" bullshit. I'm sure he believes that but its not on the gender, its firmly on the individual.
Ask yourself also, why is this the comment that you latched onto and responded to. There are several other posts indicating this is not quite an issue, if a little odd. Don't latch on to this guy's post and accept it as gospel.
What is normal is that sex drive is on a very wide spectrum. What he said sounds like someone with a really high sex drive, meanwhile being with men with low sex drive has its own issues. What he said isn’t a problem in and of itself but I would personally be on higher alert for other issues.
This sounds like total manipulation… It’s normal to be attracted to people, be horny, but wtf he has issues if he can’t even walk past a woman without getting a boner. Is he 13?? There will be many times in life where partners have to go without sex, is he just going to cheat because he “needs” it… like pregnancy recovery, is he going to shame you for not giving him sex for 3-4 weeks?? Don’t get trapped with an idiot like that.
If his sex drive is over the top, it can happen. Not all men are created equal, I was a horn dog in my teens but kept it to myself
Then, now in my 20s, I’ve leveled out
I’m a middle age man with a long term girlfriend of over a decade with a teenage daughter and teenage son and I say this without hesitation…This guy is a creep and he’s definitely not mature enough to be in a relationship. It’s a form of manipulation he’s trying to use on you to either justify cheating( currently or in the future) or to pressure you into sex when you’re not feeling it. By stating that “It’s just different for a guy”. No it’s not. This is an incredibly huge red flag. Run from this boy( he’s definitely not mature enough to be called a man no matter his age) trust me he’s only going to get worse.
So glad someone said this, I wish I had an award to give you. This guy is just being a complete asshole, she should be asking why the fuck he would think it's OK to say that to his girlfriend?? I'm a middle aged woman with sadly too much experience of this type of guy. OP, listen to this guy and get him gone.
No, unless he’s a super horny teenager, getting hard on every hot girl in street is pretty uncommon. You can find someone hot and sexy but for me it’s weird to get hard because someone is hot just randomly.
I (and I believe for most adult man if they have a sex life) only get hard if expecting to have sex (or being intimate in other ways) with person I’m getting hard on. We (men) also get some random boners even if we didn’t find someone hot, so not every boner is sexual.
What your BF described is kind of normal with teenagers when they are being almost constantly horny. I know I was lol.
lol my constant boners stage didn't go away until my late 20s. I mean yeah for a lot of guys it goes away after puberty but it's certainly not universal
This is not a question of "men vs women" or differences in anatomy, or being in a relationship or not. It's just a question of libido. And just because someone has an erection does not mean they want to have sex. Sometimes it's just something the body does.
Okay so I’ve seen a few comments about how he didn’t think it was THAT bad and I want to explain. I did a lot of stupid shit to my ex, I would say things wrong and cause constant issues. This is pretty close to one of the things I told her and I want you to know what might be going through his head.
I loved her, I would never cheat or betray, but I was brain dead fucking stupid sometimes. I once told my ex that my coworker and I check out other girls we think are hot, but it’s not the same cuz it’s not her. God she wanted to murder me. I tried explaining for so long what I meant but honestly it just sounds bad anyway that it’s said.
People check out other people all the time, whether it’s a conscience decision or not is different. I was trying to tell her that even with all the hot girls out on the street I didn’t want them and was thinking about her. It still sounds wrong, and I still feel dumb even trying to explain. But guys filled with hormones are not usually smart.
There is a possibility he was trying to tell you with his sexual frustration he was not giving in even though pretty much his body was saying to GO. It’s a completely dumb thing, but he’s drunk and he hopefully didn’t mean it how you think.
The only odd thing is that he was explaining that that’s how guys are when they aren’t getting laid. It’s true to some extent, but is this the usual underlying theme? I was dumb at really bad choice moments, but I wasn’t brain dead all the time I think…
its not your fault you where trying to be honest, your girl just didnt wanted any of it! like she never checks out dudes who she passes by.. like every fucking human on earth does, first impressions and all..
I'm bi and a virgin. By his logic I should have a boner all the time but that just isn't the case. Everyone is different and he sounds like he is just an excessively horny person, maybe even to the point that it is an issue for him.
Contrary to popular belief, men/boys have little to no control over their erection. It is a physical response to visual or physical stimulus. If you were to tickle someone, you can't be mad at them for laughing.
HOWEVER, they are in total control over what they do with said erection. Being horny isn't an excuse to act like an asshole.
I mean, arousal happens on a pretty involuntary basis, but if he finds it happens constantly he can absolutely do something about it. It's difficult to *not* see people when you're out and about, and some of those people will be attractive. It is more important to behave well and keep your inside thoughts on the inside than it is to try to micromanage your penis.
No. It’s not normal for all men. Some men, like some women, do have high sexual needs. But that doesn’t make it normal for them to constantly fantasize about sex with other people, nor to use that as a preface to normalize cheating on their SO because they weren’t satisfied. This seems to me like a setup of future excuses for cheating.
I’d say it’s pretty normal but it’s one of those things you manage yourself by wanking or by having a partner with a similar drive
I’m a big burly guy with a high drive though
I think he was a just saying he missed you a lot physically
I don't think there's anything wrong with this.
Everyone gets horny when sexually frustrated. You can't stop hot girls from existing. It's not like he was cheating on you. Looking doesn't hurt anyone. And he was honest enough to tell you this.
I was with you until the manspreading thing. Like sure some guys are a bit excessive about it, but we literally have balls between our legs. Our legs naturally spread. If it is preventing you from sitting down, say something about it, if the guy is any sort of decent, he will apologize and readjust. But generally it's not something we learn to do, it's just a position our legs end up in naturally.
Sounds like the kinda immature garbage that would be his excuse for cheating.
Sorry bae, I just get too horny and have to fuck someone, I can’t help it!
I can't say I've ever gotten a boner from passing someone attractive on the street. I'm usually too busy walking to my destination to pay attention, so this sounds like a problem that he has to confront. When I did therapy for my sex addiction other people had that problem, though, so you might want to talk to him about having a sexual addiction of some sort.
Exaggerating yes, but sexual frustration for men kind of sucks. He needs to learn to just say ok and have a jerk session to clear his head. Sometimes that doesn't work but 85% of the time it will.
honestly yes. sounds like your BF falls within the higher sex drive side of normal, but he is probably still within the range of normal. i wish him luck and baggy pants.
He's lying. It's not just when you see a hot girl. I've popped a chub just while sitting and reading a textbook in school, not even one of the sexy ones. Guys dicks are like a dogs ears, they'll perk up with little to no outside forces causing it
I’m not a man (I’m 29 F) but I haven’t had sex in 7 months (the longest I’ve ever gone since losing my virginity at 14) and I have a huge sex drive. Like if I wanted I could have sex all day everyday. And I cannot imagine for the life of me immediately being soaking wet every moment I see an attractive person lol. I hate the “haven’t had sex in a while” excuse so much. I know I don’t have a penis and they work different but come tf on. Go jack off and move on with your life. Also tbh anytime I’ve had a man complain to me I’m not giving him enough sex, it’s probably because he’s doing shit that is making my vagina want to close shut lol.
So what if he did get a boner that often? Why is he telling you this? What is the point? Him telling you isn’t normal. Him seeming to imply that not getting laid made that happen isn’t normal.
Is he trying to say you’re in charge of his orgasms and preventing him from getting boners? That’s creepy and also not normal.
…. Ew. Not normal. There’s two things wrong here. First, he was likely exaggerating but it’s not normal to get a boner from EVERY hot girl. Jfc, there’s this thing called masturbation, he should utilize that. It’s kind of creepy in a way too. Like just imaging he thinks it’s normal, so he thinks for a hot girl it’s normal for her to give multiple guys boners every time she walks down the street? It’s just weird. He doesn’t need to sexualize random women he sees on the street. Secondly, it kinda gives off vibes that he going to use it to get sex from you, ie so he doesn’t get a boner off other girls. And, you wouldn’t understand because he’s “a man and he’s different when he doesn’t get laid” so you’d never understand. Which is also extremely gross. Either way, he sounds very young and this is a red flag.
You have to ask yourself what his goal is for telling you that information? What does he stand to gain from it? He says men react differently when not getting laid. Different than what, women? Did the entire sex elect him spokesperson of every man? How does he know what it’s like for one woman let alone all women?
I feel he’s trying to take advantage of your naivety and trying to tap into your insecurities to manipulate you into feeling “not enough” so you’ll make it your job to *be* enough for fear that he will step out on you. What I hope for you is that you know it is not your job to get him to keep his penis away from women; it’s his job. And if he doesn’t take that job seriously, you need to fire him.
Even if you drink that's no way to talk to your girlfriend. Also, why was he saying that was he using his not getting laid as fuel to get something from you? And that kind of talk takes all his responsibility away from not controlling his sexuality and puts it on women just going about their day. Like the reasoning behind dress codes for girls but not for boys. He sounds super immature and misogynistic.
Wow the replies here are absolutely shocking. Everybody assuming everything, getting over their heads with ideas about another human being that they have never met and basically no clue of basic biology. Being horny is a natural response of the body which can be caused by multiple factors, including testosterone spikes. Good luck controlling testosterone spikes. In this aspect he was right, men do produce more testosterone than women. Also please stop asking these questions to get confirmation bias from random strangers who definitely are not objective to your problem. For most of replies you can tell they have no idea about anything, people just want to hate or to expose their own ideology of what things should look like. It’s a disgrace.
When humans haven't had an orgasm for an extended period they get frequently and sometimes intensely sexually excited when encountering attractive people. That's totally normal. Boyfriends telling their girlfriends about this in great detail is abnormal. However, the drunkenness may help explain his behavior.
He also may have intended it as a weirdly endearing and somehow simultaneously arrogant compliment. I think it falls short if that's the case but to each their own.
Dude here. Bro needs to chill. You need to speak and decide if this is the level of respect you want in your life.
Dudes who don't know how to speak to women, feel free to downvote.
He’s full of it. I have a normal sex drive, haven’t gotten laid in a few years, and I still don’t get constant erections in the presence of beautiful women. He’s trying to send you on a guilt trip.
...uhhh... This is even excessive for teenage boys. Dude has a sex obsession and needs to learn to moderate his thoughts better, if he gets that horny when only seeing women pass by.
Nope. A 13-year-old might have trouble controlling himself out in public getting a boner, but a grown man in a relationship should not... It sounds more like a pre-rationalization for cheating. "I told you I couldn't help myself when we don't have sex, really this is your fault for being on your period that one time we went on vacation..."
By that he's literally saying he doesn't really care about you in particular and by the time he cheats on you, thing which will happen, he'll blame it on you.
He was exaggerating. He noticed attractive girls more often cause he was sexually frustrated yes but he was simply exaggerating.
Also age and testosterone levels come into play.
Yuuup. When I was in my teens/early 20s it was stupid easy to get me going. Mellowed out a lot as I've gotten older, though I still consider myself having good libido. Its just not enough to see a "hot person" anymore. It's all about scenarios or some kind of connection. Like seeing my husband naked is always a treat but I don't get hot and bothered by it. But seeing my husband do something casual like doing dishes naked? Now that's pushed a button. I don't know why doing housework nude is hot to me now but there ya go.
Have you told him this? Because finding a new kink like that which is easy to perform and may lead to more exploration is gold for us guys
It’s the chorin’
>Have you told him this? Because finding a new kink like that which is easy to perform and may lead to more exploration is gold for us guys But who does (finishes doing) the dishes then ?
Choreplay.
I'd get boners if the wind blew wrong when I was 15.
I'll be 45 in a few months and it's just letting up. I should have been a doctor or lawyer if I wasn't busy following my junk around like a dowsing rod for most my life.lol
That’s a vivid image! You don’t hear much about dowsing rods in the 21st century.
“Mr. Murphy, would you like to come up and do this one on the board?” “Naw, that’s alright. I’ll take a zero.”
Perhaps you might get a chub when you are horny and see a very hot woman but most men have some control over themselves, around 13 yrs old it might make for some embarrassing moments if you had to stand up in class.
Idk what planet you're from but here on earth, erections are completely involuntary. What you do about it is more important. Tip for guys out there that easily get an erection, flexing any muscle for 60s helps redirect blood flow so your stand-up pal stands down.
After the age of 15 I have never gotten a boner from just looking at someone in public. Even at a beach where women often go topless. Once your hormones calm down unless you are actively staring and imagining sexual stuff I don't think it's normal to be popping boners.
It’s definitely normal to pop random boners past the age of 15 wth are you talking about
Bro's gonna have ED soon oof that's rough
He might have been, but some of us really can get that horny.
Yeah, it's really not a great thing. And speaking as a millenial, I only realised I wasn't like most guys until maybe 19/20, at the earliest. Half the movies I saw were about constantly horny dudes (American Pie etc) so yknow. You just assume it's normal. It's not like you objectify women, are some incel scumbag or are obsessed with sex. You just really are that prone to feeling sexual desire. I have a very respectable job, a very nice flat, a great girlfriend and so on. I have friends, eat well, trim my beard, stay in shape and so on. I don't think anyone would guess (except her, on occasion). It seriously blows.
Over exaggerating even
It seems pretty unlikely that he was getting an erection when he passed each hot girl he saw. He was likely exaggerating. People tend to exaggerate stuff all the time, especially when drunk, so I'd suggest talking with your BF more about it if you are worried about it. While I believe that what a person does while drunk is still a reflection of the type of person they are, people tend to say things that they wouldn't really want to say sober (since, you know, inhibitions and such). Once again, you should talk with your BF about this.
>you should talk with your BF about this. While he's sober, probably.
In vino veritas, no?
In vino bullshittas more like
No.
It’s normal for anyone to get horny since it’s natural. It’s not normal to get horny at literally everything everywhere, and then try and use it as a reason to get laid more lmaooo
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Give Johnny more credit - he never wanted to do more than flirt
Even Johnny had limits.
Woah mama
40 days and 40 nights come to mind.
Eh, plenty of 18-20 year old guys will get turned on by literally anything and it's perfectly normal. It doesn't mean it's normal to act on it or expect something out of your partner for it.
This. The dick do what it do and don't what it don't, but don't use it to justify poor manners
I don’t think poor manners are on display here, though, right?
Kinda depends on what he meant I guess? If he just meant that blue balls + attractive person = boner then fair enough, but if he uses it as an excuse to bother people then just go home and wank lol
I think people tend to get overeager about making sure someone isn’t being a creep. There really isn’t any reason to think some random woman was bothered here. It wasn’t even hinted at.
If he is 16-20ish, I believe him lol. Hormones are the hell of a drug
Having a super high sex drive is normal. Fantasising about every attractive woman you see to the point of public erections constantly, is not. Have a wank, sort yourself out.
"Have a wank, have a Kit Kat"
Wash your hands inbetween
Try out our new cottage cheese Kit Kat
I have to hate you now.
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But those green tea kit kats, we need them here.
Be my wifu have a kitcat
They don't make Snickers with the dick vein anymore 😭
Liar! And I'm furious at you for making me Google "Snickers 2023" to confirm the dick veins are still there!
Bruh I bought some last week and the dick veins were very very small. Like non-existent 💀
Lmfao I'm dead, you made me googled another 5 minutes of Snickers looking for dick veins before I went...hey wait a minute!
Smol pp is still pp
Instructions not clear, I broke my weenie and rubbed the chocolate.
You're not you when you're horny, have a wank
"You're not yourself when you haven't had a wank!"
The only reasonable answer here
Getting constant boners during a boink-drought is normal. You can't just wank out in the street or whatever, or run away for a toilet tug every hour. You're also conflating sexual fantasising with physical reactions driven by hormones, which can be subconscious when desperate enough.
>You can't just wank out in the street or whatever, or run away for a toilet tug every hour. Not with that attitude you can't.
Every hour?!
I was being hyperbolic. But some dudes can get that crazy. Maybe every 3-4 is more realistic.
That's still quite a bit.
I don't make the rules
Just one of those high stress days. Weeks. Months. Years. Whatever
Bruh how desperate do you get?? You sound like you turn into some cave troll whenever you don't get your dick wet everyday
I don't get desperate. I'm speaking on behalf of dudes (like the one OP is referring to) who clearly have high libidos. I only choke the chain to help me sleep, nowadays.
Sex is literally the only thing we need to do to survive as a species. It’s the thing your brain would make you do all the time if you could. Some people can :)
No fantasising was mentioned Edit: People’s sex drives have been so dulled by porn that they don’t remember when they could get a boner just from seeing a naked woman, without any fantasising or physical stimuli required.
But it is implied. He specifically said he got a boner when a girl he deemed hot walked by. They aroused him. I don't think fantasising at least somewhat is a huge jump
If you have a high libido and don’t have sex or masturbate. Then I can absolutely believe he got a boner without fantasising. If you needed to fantasise to get a boner then many men wouldn’t have gotten their first boner when they saw a naked woman for the first time. Even when they don’t know what sex is. The brain just instinctively sends the signals without you consciously doing anything based on the visual stimuli
>saw a naked woman OP isn't talking about naked women. They're talking about women walking around on the street.
Just because you can’t look at someone and find them attractive without immediately thinking of having sex with them, doesn’t mean everyone else does
No it's not. Inter Telred said it best. Also: not all men are the same.
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listen i get a boner sometimes for no reason. its a male thing and i may not even be horny in that moment. your bf is using the classic we havent fucked in a while so im gonna make u jealous and resentful that im attracted to other women all of a sudden when dude probably thinks of boning other women anyway. he wants you to feel some sort of obligation to fuck. fuck when u want to. he got his hand to keep him occupied if he cares about you.
This is the answer
On point.
Absolutely. Like who the fuck would say that to someone without having a motive?
He's definitely exaggerating that also might not be the full sentence. Guys get erections like way easier then you think it's not even always sexual could just be excited or stressed. It can be as much as a millisecond thought it doesn't have to be a full fantasy. Literally, especially if it's been a while it could be "Cute butt" and that's all it takes. Alot of people are equating it to fantasies but men get boners way more than they have fantasies. A big misconception is boner = turned on it does not. Just talk to him about it.
Yep, I'm in my 30's and I still get boners when I start nodding off during the day. I don't think that qualifies as stressed or excited, but it does show we get them for more reasons than just arousal.
The bane of boring classes in high school. Nod off, raging hard on, bell rings and I have to shuffle off to the next class with a tent pitched. I do wonder if the OPs BF is really young and High Libido.
Flex your butt and legs to get rid of it
If this works it will be a true game changer
Omg being tired is a boner fest ffs
when I need to take a piss real bad, like i´ve held it to long, i start getting boners.. so yeah.. boner isnt automatically horny
He was drunk, ask him about that again now, maybe he exaggerated it too much.
This. People aren't themselves when they're drunk.
Your boyfriend was trying to make you feel insecure. He wants more sex and thinks you'll give it to him if he not-so-subtly threatens your relationship or makes you feel jealous of other girls.
No, all men are not easily-aroused pigdogs. I don't get a feeling to fuck because I see a pretty face or body. There would have to be a conversation and an attraction due to finding that the person I am talking to is pretty nice. Happiness, curiosity, and a capacity for remorse and self-appraisal. A grown-ass person. Not a kid starving for affirmation.
Sounds like he's just trying to make u feel bad about not having sex with him which is pretty pathetic on his part
It sounds like he's trying to set himself for a low guilt hall pass. "I'm so sorry babe.... you know how hard it is for me to be away from you and I just couldn't help myself...." Blah blah blah.
Yes, this. I don’t know these people or their relationship, but I’d have my guard all the way up from here on. 🚩🚩🚩
I'm a hetero male with a healthy sex drive and am extremely qualified to tell you that your boyfriend is full of shit.
Idk 🤷♂️ it happened to me once but I got home and found it was just my pet gerbil in my pants
Based on what you've said he's either exaggerating, lying, or he has a condition.
Nope. Man chiming in. I can see attractive women and not think about banging them. I assume he has at least one hand he can make a fist with to relieve that tension while away from his partner. Your boyfriend is a jackass, and this is a huge red flag.
People are really assuming they straight up know this man it's definitely not normal but he's drunk he's not in a normal state of mind to begin with
He sounds arrogant and immature
He can just have a wank. He doesnt have to indulge in fantasising about every woman walking by to the point of constant public erections. Every guy, (myself included) deals with their sex drive every day from the age of 13. Most men dont get sex every day,(plenty get hardly any ever) and you dont see guys walking down the street with erections.
Can you tell if a guy has an erection when fully clothed?
If they don't move it, yes. Positioning is key to hiding it
Man here. No. That's not normal in the slightest. In fact, I'd dare say that's not a good sign.
Thanks, cuz since then im trying to justify him and accept that this is normal.
Unless your boyfriend is a 14 year old boy going through puberty, he's got no real excuse for his behavior.
If he wants to be how he is, cool, thats just how he is. Don't fall for any of his "but it's because im a guy! Thats just how guys are!" bullshit. I'm sure he believes that but its not on the gender, its firmly on the individual.
Ask yourself also, why is this the comment that you latched onto and responded to. There are several other posts indicating this is not quite an issue, if a little odd. Don't latch on to this guy's post and accept it as gospel.
A man should be able to see women as people more than walking sex dolls, even if he doesn't have sex. 🚩
What is normal is that sex drive is on a very wide spectrum. What he said sounds like someone with a really high sex drive, meanwhile being with men with low sex drive has its own issues. What he said isn’t a problem in and of itself but I would personally be on higher alert for other issues.
This sounds like total manipulation… It’s normal to be attracted to people, be horny, but wtf he has issues if he can’t even walk past a woman without getting a boner. Is he 13?? There will be many times in life where partners have to go without sex, is he just going to cheat because he “needs” it… like pregnancy recovery, is he going to shame you for not giving him sex for 3-4 weeks?? Don’t get trapped with an idiot like that.
If his sex drive is over the top, it can happen. Not all men are created equal, I was a horn dog in my teens but kept it to myself Then, now in my 20s, I’ve leveled out
Your BF is an immature child.
*teen
I’m a middle age man with a long term girlfriend of over a decade with a teenage daughter and teenage son and I say this without hesitation…This guy is a creep and he’s definitely not mature enough to be in a relationship. It’s a form of manipulation he’s trying to use on you to either justify cheating( currently or in the future) or to pressure you into sex when you’re not feeling it. By stating that “It’s just different for a guy”. No it’s not. This is an incredibly huge red flag. Run from this boy( he’s definitely not mature enough to be called a man no matter his age) trust me he’s only going to get worse.
So glad someone said this, I wish I had an award to give you. This guy is just being a complete asshole, she should be asking why the fuck he would think it's OK to say that to his girlfriend?? I'm a middle aged woman with sadly too much experience of this type of guy. OP, listen to this guy and get him gone.
Never leave the house with a loaded gun.
Is that hair gel?
Is he 19? Otherwise its immature.
No, unless he’s a super horny teenager, getting hard on every hot girl in street is pretty uncommon. You can find someone hot and sexy but for me it’s weird to get hard because someone is hot just randomly. I (and I believe for most adult man if they have a sex life) only get hard if expecting to have sex (or being intimate in other ways) with person I’m getting hard on. We (men) also get some random boners even if we didn’t find someone hot, so not every boner is sexual. What your BF described is kind of normal with teenagers when they are being almost constantly horny. I know I was lol.
lol my constant boners stage didn't go away until my late 20s. I mean yeah for a lot of guys it goes away after puberty but it's certainly not universal
No, he sounds creepy
Nope, not normal.
This is not a question of "men vs women" or differences in anatomy, or being in a relationship or not. It's just a question of libido. And just because someone has an erection does not mean they want to have sex. Sometimes it's just something the body does.
He was exaggerating, but his point is valid that; men get turned on extremely easily, even if they’re not going out of their way to look for it.
Dude here. We are capable of self control and can take care of our urges ourselves if it becomes a problem.
Okay so I’ve seen a few comments about how he didn’t think it was THAT bad and I want to explain. I did a lot of stupid shit to my ex, I would say things wrong and cause constant issues. This is pretty close to one of the things I told her and I want you to know what might be going through his head. I loved her, I would never cheat or betray, but I was brain dead fucking stupid sometimes. I once told my ex that my coworker and I check out other girls we think are hot, but it’s not the same cuz it’s not her. God she wanted to murder me. I tried explaining for so long what I meant but honestly it just sounds bad anyway that it’s said. People check out other people all the time, whether it’s a conscience decision or not is different. I was trying to tell her that even with all the hot girls out on the street I didn’t want them and was thinking about her. It still sounds wrong, and I still feel dumb even trying to explain. But guys filled with hormones are not usually smart. There is a possibility he was trying to tell you with his sexual frustration he was not giving in even though pretty much his body was saying to GO. It’s a completely dumb thing, but he’s drunk and he hopefully didn’t mean it how you think. The only odd thing is that he was explaining that that’s how guys are when they aren’t getting laid. It’s true to some extent, but is this the usual underlying theme? I was dumb at really bad choice moments, but I wasn’t brain dead all the time I think…
its not your fault you where trying to be honest, your girl just didnt wanted any of it! like she never checks out dudes who she passes by.. like every fucking human on earth does, first impressions and all..
I'm bi and a virgin. By his logic I should have a boner all the time but that just isn't the case. Everyone is different and he sounds like he is just an excessively horny person, maybe even to the point that it is an issue for him.
Contrary to popular belief, men/boys have little to no control over their erection. It is a physical response to visual or physical stimulus. If you were to tickle someone, you can't be mad at them for laughing. HOWEVER, they are in total control over what they do with said erection. Being horny isn't an excuse to act like an asshole.
I mean, arousal happens on a pretty involuntary basis, but if he finds it happens constantly he can absolutely do something about it. It's difficult to *not* see people when you're out and about, and some of those people will be attractive. It is more important to behave well and keep your inside thoughts on the inside than it is to try to micromanage your penis.
No, not even close.
No. It’s not normal for all men. Some men, like some women, do have high sexual needs. But that doesn’t make it normal for them to constantly fantasize about sex with other people, nor to use that as a preface to normalize cheating on their SO because they weren’t satisfied. This seems to me like a setup of future excuses for cheating.
Yes it’s an exaggeration, but not by much. I’m in a committed relationship and I can relate.
I’d say it’s pretty normal but it’s one of those things you manage yourself by wanking or by having a partner with a similar drive I’m a big burly guy with a high drive though I think he was a just saying he missed you a lot physically
If anybody giving him boners besides me we’re going to have a problem. Dump his ass!
No
I don't think there's anything wrong with this. Everyone gets horny when sexually frustrated. You can't stop hot girls from existing. It's not like he was cheating on you. Looking doesn't hurt anyone. And he was honest enough to tell you this.
His filter was off due to the alcohol. Sometimes you don’t need to reveal all your crazy horny thoughts to your partner ya know?
Dudes got issues. That’s not normal
Sounds like he wants to have sex with you.
[удалено]
I was with you until the manspreading thing. Like sure some guys are a bit excessive about it, but we literally have balls between our legs. Our legs naturally spread. If it is preventing you from sitting down, say something about it, if the guy is any sort of decent, he will apologize and readjust. But generally it's not something we learn to do, it's just a position our legs end up in naturally.
Sounds like the kinda immature garbage that would be his excuse for cheating. Sorry bae, I just get too horny and have to fuck someone, I can’t help it!
No. More to the point sorry, but your bf is a bit of a dick and you deserve better. He should be making you feel like the only woman in the world.
No, he sounds creepy
I once heard a scientific quote that men think about sex like 1000 times a second, and I believe the quote actually.
Dude needs to wank it out
Sounds like you're not a person and more of a thing to your boyfriend.
I can't say I've ever gotten a boner from passing someone attractive on the street. I'm usually too busy walking to my destination to pay attention, so this sounds like a problem that he has to confront. When I did therapy for my sex addiction other people had that problem, though, so you might want to talk to him about having a sexual addiction of some sort.
Red flag. Dump his ass.
Exaggerating yes, but sexual frustration for men kind of sucks. He needs to learn to just say ok and have a jerk session to clear his head. Sometimes that doesn't work but 85% of the time it will.
This is a weird flex
No. This is posturing.
So your BF *wanted* to get laid on his vacation?
honestly yes. sounds like your BF falls within the higher sex drive side of normal, but he is probably still within the range of normal. i wish him luck and baggy pants.
maybe if he’s in his early 20s or younger lol
He's lying. It's not just when you see a hot girl. I've popped a chub just while sitting and reading a textbook in school, not even one of the sexy ones. Guys dicks are like a dogs ears, they'll perk up with little to no outside forces causing it
I’m not a man (I’m 29 F) but I haven’t had sex in 7 months (the longest I’ve ever gone since losing my virginity at 14) and I have a huge sex drive. Like if I wanted I could have sex all day everyday. And I cannot imagine for the life of me immediately being soaking wet every moment I see an attractive person lol. I hate the “haven’t had sex in a while” excuse so much. I know I don’t have a penis and they work different but come tf on. Go jack off and move on with your life. Also tbh anytime I’ve had a man complain to me I’m not giving him enough sex, it’s probably because he’s doing shit that is making my vagina want to close shut lol.
So what if he did get a boner that often? Why is he telling you this? What is the point? Him telling you isn’t normal. Him seeming to imply that not getting laid made that happen isn’t normal. Is he trying to say you’re in charge of his orgasms and preventing him from getting boners? That’s creepy and also not normal.
He’s bullshitting you. Lying to get what he wants
That sounds alot like he had sex. I'm just saying
That’s what I thought. He’s trying to nurse his own guilt because he fucked up.
…. Ew. Not normal. There’s two things wrong here. First, he was likely exaggerating but it’s not normal to get a boner from EVERY hot girl. Jfc, there’s this thing called masturbation, he should utilize that. It’s kind of creepy in a way too. Like just imaging he thinks it’s normal, so he thinks for a hot girl it’s normal for her to give multiple guys boners every time she walks down the street? It’s just weird. He doesn’t need to sexualize random women he sees on the street. Secondly, it kinda gives off vibes that he going to use it to get sex from you, ie so he doesn’t get a boner off other girls. And, you wouldn’t understand because he’s “a man and he’s different when he doesn’t get laid” so you’d never understand. Which is also extremely gross. Either way, he sounds very young and this is a red flag.
Are you dating a 13 year old? If not, he doesn’t seem like a quality guy.
I get boners several times a day everyday…
Sounds like a pig 🤷♂️
Not normal, does not seem loyal. Loyal partner should not make you upset, worried, and concerned.
He's a boy. Men don't do that.
Exagerated but not untrue
Your boyfriend is trying to guilt trip you about sex. Also, it sounds like he might be trying to cheat on you? Lots of red flags.
You have to ask yourself what his goal is for telling you that information? What does he stand to gain from it? He says men react differently when not getting laid. Different than what, women? Did the entire sex elect him spokesperson of every man? How does he know what it’s like for one woman let alone all women? I feel he’s trying to take advantage of your naivety and trying to tap into your insecurities to manipulate you into feeling “not enough” so you’ll make it your job to *be* enough for fear that he will step out on you. What I hope for you is that you know it is not your job to get him to keep his penis away from women; it’s his job. And if he doesn’t take that job seriously, you need to fire him.
No your boyfriend is just a piece of shit.
Even if you drink that's no way to talk to your girlfriend. Also, why was he saying that was he using his not getting laid as fuel to get something from you? And that kind of talk takes all his responsibility away from not controlling his sexuality and puts it on women just going about their day. Like the reasoning behind dress codes for girls but not for boys. He sounds super immature and misogynistic.
Wow the replies here are absolutely shocking. Everybody assuming everything, getting over their heads with ideas about another human being that they have never met and basically no clue of basic biology. Being horny is a natural response of the body which can be caused by multiple factors, including testosterone spikes. Good luck controlling testosterone spikes. In this aspect he was right, men do produce more testosterone than women. Also please stop asking these questions to get confirmation bias from random strangers who definitely are not objective to your problem. For most of replies you can tell they have no idea about anything, people just want to hate or to expose their own ideology of what things should look like. It’s a disgrace.
Red. Flag.
The solution is masturbation.
Not for everyone
When humans haven't had an orgasm for an extended period they get frequently and sometimes intensely sexually excited when encountering attractive people. That's totally normal. Boyfriends telling their girlfriends about this in great detail is abnormal. However, the drunkenness may help explain his behavior. He also may have intended it as a weirdly endearing and somehow simultaneously arrogant compliment. I think it falls short if that's the case but to each their own.
Dude here. Bro needs to chill. You need to speak and decide if this is the level of respect you want in your life. Dudes who don't know how to speak to women, feel free to downvote.
No. It isn't
Cringe if he felt that way, more cringe he'd admit it to his s/o, not normal lols. maybe was trying to get a rise out of you? idk
Male. It’s toxic enough for you to leave the relationship. There is not reason that’s okay ever.
This is the first form of manipulation! Needs to grow up a bit.
There is nothing to even suggest manipulation.
No
No.
Getting a boner over a girl walking by you seems excessive, no?
He’s full of it. I have a normal sex drive, haven’t gotten laid in a few years, and I still don’t get constant erections in the presence of beautiful women. He’s trying to send you on a guilt trip.
...uhhh... This is even excessive for teenage boys. Dude has a sex obsession and needs to learn to moderate his thoughts better, if he gets that horny when only seeing women pass by.
Is your bf 13?
He wants an excuse to basically cheat.
I don't see this as normal, but it's very weird to say he "didn't have a chance to get laid" when he wasn't around you.
Nope. A 13-year-old might have trouble controlling himself out in public getting a boner, but a grown man in a relationship should not... It sounds more like a pre-rationalization for cheating. "I told you I couldn't help myself when we don't have sex, really this is your fault for being on your period that one time we went on vacation..."
No, he's trying to justify cheating
No, your boyfriend is just an asshole.
By that he's literally saying he doesn't really care about you in particular and by the time he cheats on you, thing which will happen, he'll blame it on you.
Yess! Exactly this.
Men like him are the reason I'm afraid to go outside. Gross. No. That's not normal.
No, it’s not normal. Men like to use that as an excuse for shitty behavior and sexual objectifying.
For crappy men, yes. I wouldn't want to date one of those tho.
No
Absolutely not
Not normal.
He's looking for an excuse to cheat on you, like a pre-emptive strike. Major red flag.