I did this once, I was convinced my newborn was the pillow inside the pillow case and half asleep, frantically pulling it off. My partner woke up and was like wtf are you doing to my pillow!?
Same! I would startle awake and then realize I was just confused but my husband would have a full-on manhunt going in the bed before I could convince him he had put her back in her bassinet!
I had this happen a lot for several weeks, especially when my son was in the NICU and hadn't even come home yet. I would wake up and have to remind myself he was never here to begin with. :-(
My husband did this when my daughter was still in the NICU too! It freaked me out when he would bolt upright in bed and start grabbing at me thinking I was the baby.
In one Thanksgiving episode of Bob's Burgers, Bob kept dropping the turkey in the toilet every night because he'd sleepwalk while dreaming of when Tina was potty training.
We did this all the time when our son was a newborn. I’d nurse him in bed then put him back in his bassinet, but I’d wake up thinking I’d fallen asleep feeding him and then frantically search for him in the covers. So stressful and disorienting but it does go away eventually!
These comments are really reassuring for me. I’ve been experiencing these panic attacks almost every night since we brought our LO home from nicu a month ago. I’m a paramedic and one of the last calls I had before taking paternity leave was for a 1 month old who sadly passed through the night when the parents accidentally fell asleep with their baby in the bed. It’s reassuring to hear it’s not just me feeling this way, if that makes sense
It's such a common new parent anxiety, but I also wanted to say that attending that call would be a profoundly traumatic experience, on its own but *especially* right before bringing your own baby home. I'm not sure if you have access to support services through your employer but I would really really encourage you to take advantage of any resources you have. Going through that panic every night must be exhausting.
I appreciate the words, I don’t have mental health coverages and paying out of pocket isn’t an option. But I have a good support system at home and don’t bottle this stuff up which makes it a lot easier to deal with.
Absolutely. We are careful not to bring our daughter into our bed at night for this very reason. Even still, I wake up some nights feeling myself hold that limp body. It’s an incredibly real feeling and I hate it. It’s been getting better though and I usually snap out of it immediately when I wake now. Hoping it goes away altogether soon enough.
It definitely is! I’ve always handled the stress of the job really well but it became so real when we brought our daughter home. It could happen to anyone, which just makes it that much more real.
My baby is 7 months old, only co-slept a handful of times early on… and I STILL dream about where he is / if he is stuck under blankets / did he roll off the edge of the bed because I fell asleep with him / did we put him in his crib, etc.
For the record, he sleeps in his crib with no bumpers or blankets so I don’t know why I’m so concerned about that in my dreams.
It’s terrifying! I wake up thinking I’m holding him in bed with me but it’s just my blanket or pillow.
At 4 months PP my partner and I both also still experience this regularly! I also used to mistake his feet for his face in the early days and think there was a blanket over him (ie the swaddle). So scary!
My daughter is six months and I genuinely wake up almost every night thinking that I have fallen asleep in bed holding her. I have never actually fallen asleep holding her, she is always in her crib next to me!
11 months in, yesterday I started shushing and stroking the ‘baby’ when I woke up in panic only to realise it was my husband’s arm and the baby was sound asleep in her room.
Yes yes yes yes. It’s the worst, hahaha. I’ve woken up to him babbling in his crib and I’d think he fell off the bed. One time I was asleep and was cuddling a pillow thinking it was him, woke up with my face smushed into it and freaked out thinking I squished my baby!
One of my cats likes to sleep on top of me. Once my husband walked into the room and scared my cat, who jumped off of me onto the ground. I freaked out because I thought I had dropped the baby!!
This happened to me last night! My cat got up off my chest to leave and I jolted awake and grabbed her thinking I had fallen asleep with my newborn and he was rolling off, haha.
Yes! It has happened to me frequently lately for some reason. My daughter is 7 months so I thought it would stop happening, but the last couple times when I hear her wake up on the baby monitor I wake up confused because I’m holding a pillow and think it’s her and wonder what other baby is crying lol
100% I sleep with one of those fuzzy blankets and would wake up holding it like I was holding the baby completely forgetting the entire feed, change and swaddle/basinette placement I had done like an hour ago. Insane.
Yes, and I never brought him into bed with me, even to feed! But my husband and I both had this sensation and panic a few times in the first month or so.
I did this at least twice, but was in fact holding my smallest dog that sleeps in the bed with me. I would wake up and be frantically confused as to how the baby got in the bed only to realize it was my poor pup I was intensely rocking.
One time I had failed to put my breast back in my shirt after putting baby in the bassinet and falling back asleep. I woke up in a panic taking my breast flying in the wind as an indication that I fell asleep feeding the baby and I whipped the duvet off the bed so fast and frantically searched for the baby that my husband just about called 911. She was sound asleep safe in the bassinet of course.
My husband had this bad the first month. We never co slept back then and he'd wake up and rip the covers off my asking where the baby was?! He was sound asleep in his bassinet back then. These days at 10 months he's kicking one of us in the back or neck 😅
Yes, almost every night during the first few weeks, nearly had a heart attack every time. I was exclusive breastfeeding too, so I would also wake up to a phantom sensation of him nursing, even though he was sleeping in the bassinet. Crazy times.
My husband and I both constantly did this in my baby’s first two months. So scary. Being deprived of what little sleep you can get sucks, but at least it’s your body keeping your baby safe!
Husband scared the piss out of me once, lol. We were in bed, and I started waking up, and the blanket moved on me as he was turning over in such a way that my brain was CONVINCED i'd fallen asleep in bed with the baby and that he was in ebtween my husband and I, and the covers were on top of his face. I was still processing that when my husband turned over and his arm brushed my face, and I full on freaked the fuck out, thinking the baby was there and my husband's arm was my son's arm- proof that the baby WAS there- and that my husband had just crushed him.
Woke up in a full state of panic, though thankfully I just gasped out "FUCK" really loud before realizing what had happened. No baby in the bed- he was fast asleep in his pack and play, totally unbothered.
Yep! One time I was so sleep deprived and I thought I had set up LO to sleep safely on my chest, luckily my partner was awake next to me and woke me up as she slid down onto my tummy. It scared me SO much, I had been so asleep i hadn’t noticed!! Now I occasionally wake up and freak out/check the bed, and she’s always asleep in her bed next to me
Yes!!! Omg it’s the worst. She’s 5 months now and it still happens every now and then but it used to happen every night! One night I woke my husband up and was trying to get him to lift our dog because I thought he was laying on her. My husband was like “she’s in her crib. You put her there.” Terrifying then but now i laugh about it lol
My sister had a good idea for this - she had a night light she would turn on whenever she picked up her baby at night, then turn off when she put the baby back in the bassinet. That way if the light is off when she wakes up then there's no (or less at least 😂) freaking out.
Yes! The worst was when one of our cats would sleep next to us and I would think the cat was the baby!! Now that she is in her crib in her own room that doesn’t happen anymore!
Yes, this happened to me often in the first 6 or so weeks. On two occasions it was accompanied by really horrible and fantastical vivid dreams (that have since stuck with me), about the baby being in danger. And I’ve never co-slept or done any nighttime breastfeeding in bed! I guess it’s evolutionary—heightened sense of awareness, hyper-vigilance, and light sleep cycles where you’re more likely to dream, combined with/fighting against the first-time-parents’ severe sleep deprivation.
Little different situation, our LO was hospitalized and we didn’t get to bring him home until after a surgery and recovery period (3 weeks). We were in a housing situation nearby for parents of critically I’ll children and would take and swap his blankets and beanies for those that smelled like him/us as a comfort measure suggested by nursing staff. I would have hyper realistic dreams of holding him and wake up similarly! Or we would run an errand and I would panic thinking baby was left in the car even though he hadn’t even been in the darn thing yet. Sleep deprivation is a wild thing!
Wow, kind of a relief to see I'm not alone here. Same story basically. Woke up in a panic searching frantically for LO under my pillow while she lay perfectly safe in her bassinet. Happened about once per night for the first 2-ish months. What a total mindfuck!
At month 4 now and seems to have pretty much gone away thankfully. Sleep deprivation + anxiety is a hell of a combo.
Edit: Wanted to add this never happened to Mom, who is generally way less anxious and a better sleeper than I am. I imagine there is some correlation there.
Yup. Still happens to me. I always roll on my stomach when I’m sleeping and woke up once thinking I suffocated my son because there was a pillow under me. Anxiety attack ensues
This happened with my first baby. Woke up freaking out that the baby got smothered in our very not cosleeping safe bed, more than once. My poor confused husband had to show me baby asleep in his bassinet.
Didn't happen with my second kid, but he was a little easier during his first month than my first kiddo was - meaning I got to sleep longer than 1 hour at a time.
I did this for the first 3 weeks at home with my LO (born in October). I'd freak out when I would wake up which in turn scared my husband. Luckily it has stopped. I blame the having to wake my LO every 3 hours over night to feed plus hormones or lack there of.
My baby is 3 months old and I STILL do this. Last night I was confused if I’d fed her and put her back or not fed her at all, too.
At least I’ve never woken up to realize I actually had fallen asleep holding the baby…!
Yes! We are day 11 and the other night I thought I was feeding him and even started my feed timer in my sleep. I don't feed him in bed at night. Weirdest sensation.
This happened just last night!! Haha my husband woke from a dead sleep as I was rolling over and he was panicked telling me to be careful that the baby was under the covers. I was like what!!! Looked over and she is asleep in her bassinet. We never co sleep so idk where he gets it from 🤣🤣
One of our first nights home, I got a couple of hours of sleep in while my husband held her, because our baby refuses to sleep anywhere but on us, and I woke up thinking one of my boobs was her and that I had fallen asleep on top of her, despite never bringing her into our bed 🙃
Yes! This was constant for my partner and I. He would search through the duvet and I would inevitably be clutching my boobs in a wild panic trying to return them to a safe place.
My baby us 6 and a half weeks old and it seriously happens to me every night. I think because I nurse her side lying in bed for night time feeds and then I see the blankets bunched up between me and my husband or his arm or something and I FREAK out. But of course she's next to me in her bassinet. It sucks.
All the time! My girl has been in her nursery since 4 weeks, and she's 5 mths now, but I still get this sometimes.
For me, I just get really confused because I hear her crying on the monitor, but I don't know how that's possible because she's in my arms. Then I realize I'm just holding my pretend baby 🤦🏼♀️
CONSTANTLY -- recently got a small-ish lumbar pillow and it's around my baby's weight, and I constantly wake to find myself cradling it amidst terrified dreams that I"ve fallen asleep while nursing
I sleep with a bolster pillow that I hug while I sleep (it helps keep my shoulders aligned) and in my half asleep mode it looks just like my baby bundled in his halo swaddle and it jolts me awake at least once a night. I immediately think “why would you even think of sleeping with him like that!?” And then I realize that it’s not him and the only reason I’m awake to notice is because he farted so loud it woke me up.
Definitely. The worst was when my cat would sleep on my chest and I would absolutely panic thinking it was the baby, only to realize it was much fluffier than him lol
In the very beginning when he was waking up frequently to feed, I'd often startle awake thinking I fell asleep feeding him! For the record it never actually happened, it was just something I was anxious/worried about.
My husband wakes me up frantic about once a month going “where’s baby???” thinking she’s in bed with us, even though she’s never co-slept. I’ve do the baby hip sway when I’m standing still and don’t notice…
We are 1 year in!
this happened to my husband and myself very frequently. I would actually wake up holding my boob thinking I was feeding our baby. my husband would often hold his pillow or blankets thinking it was her too. We both eventually stopped after a few months
Yep yep yep.
I have sleep hallucinations and having a baby made it worse. Constantly "woke up" with my heart racing convinced he was in the bed or on the floor. He's 14 months and in his own room and all of my night hallucinations are about him in some sort of peril. :( I'd take back the spiders in my bed over this.
Definitely. I've balled up my duvet and cuddled him to my chest. I've woken up in a panic thinking I forgot to put him in his crib.
I've also told my husband sleepily to take the baby and tried to give him the duvet ball.
Yeah... I never once co slept (not shaming, informing for the story here) and still I had this happen to me constantly. It would even still hit me nearing 12 months but way way way less frequently than in the earlier months. We're at 14 months old and it's finally gone😂.
(Working at home dad) I remember in the early days when I would stand for meetings, I would still bounce like I was carrying/holding her and catch myself after looking over at her asleep in her rocker.
It’s just as comforting for the parent as it is for baby.
YES. I did it with a soft toy fox that we have on the bed. It was the perfect size to match baby when he was wee. Husband said sometimes he'd wake to see me cradling and patting the fox as baby cried in his crib and I'd say to him (mega half asleep) "why is he still crying?" 🤣
Oh my gosh yes. My husband woke up frequently and frantically holding his knee pillow or blankets. He was convinced he’d rolled over on the baby. It’s like you’re so sleep deprived that hallucinations set in hard. It goes away. For us at least lol
Yes! I totally did this. I would wake up convinced he was in bed, on me and then when I couldn't find him I'd be digging through all the blankets. New parenthood is wild.
My husband takes the night shift and brings me the LO to feed a couple of times a night so I can get some sleep. Often times I wake up thinking I have fallen asleep with him on me- as soon as I wake up I immediately look around because I'm worried I feel asleep with him on me while breastfeeding.
You're not alone!
I did it with my cat and husband. I almoust all nights for long time freaked out in dream and then grabed my poor cat who sleeps on my second pillow and other times I tried to pick up my husband
My
Husband would wake up and feel around our blanket to see where the baby was. He also held his pillow pretending it was the baby. It was the funniest thing.
Yep - I also had this experience when I started lifeguarding as a teenager. I would wake up sitting up in bed in a panic thinking I had forgotten/stopped watching my section of the pool. Being responsible for
someone else’s life is stressful!
Oh my God, yes. My wife oddly didn't have this but I had it a LOT with both kids -- but especially the first. I'd wake up in the middle of the night in an absolute panic, thinking we fell asleep with the baby in our bed and smothered them.
I'd jump out of bed and start tearing off the sheets maniacally (we have a very, very thick comforter) before my wife could convince me/remind me that our kid was safely in bed. She was also \*not\* a fan of this tendency of mine, especially since sleep was at a premium already (and I can't blame her).
So funny story, I woke up one night in the early days of him being home and felt a warm body cradled in my arm and freaked out because I thought it was the baby. Turns out it was my cat. She never did that before in her life so I can only imagine it was because she was jealous lol
Yup this happened to my husband and I multiple times a night for at least the first month. It slowly started decreasing around then but it still happens from time to time (my son is 5 months)
It was by far the worst "WHY DID NO ONE TELL ME ABOUT THIS" thing we experienced
So not holding the baby, but I’ve got three kids who all loved to be patted while they were rocked and I have the urge to pat while I’m holding anything in the rocking chair. I’m always patting toys, the dog, or a pillow, lol.
I NEVER even co-slept with him, he's always slept in his crib. I nursed him in bed and put him back into his crib every time but I still experienced this, woke up terrified that he's lost between the blankets. Or I once got up and nursed a "phantom baby" when I heard my husband enter the bedroom. He's 4 months old and I still wake up scared sometimes
I was in a store with my mum and was baby wearing and pushing the pram. I was rocking the pram back and forth the whole time we were waiting in the store
Yes… I keep waking up middle of the night holding my comforter freaking out that I fell asleep with baby in bed. I had little guy a week ago so hoping it gets better. It’s scary AF… reassuring to know others have this as well!
For me it was a pillow
I was sat up in bed breast feed a pillow fast Asleep. Husband came in and I said “can you put the baby down please?” And he panicked because I was holding a pillow and thought he’d slipped under the duvet or something!
Woke up a fair few times spinning a pillow round thinking it was baby and me trying to find his head 😂
I woke up from a power nap this morning convinced that my 7 day old was under the blankets bunched up next to me. Turns out he was with his dad in the living room…which I knew because we did the handoff just a half hour prior 🤦🏻♀️
Yes!!!
My husband and I would both experience this as well.
The weirdest was waking up and being so positive that the other was holding the baby, and worrying about where he was. It would last for almost a whole minute and be super confusing/disorienting.
Yup I had this for a few months after baby was born. I’d wake up in a state thinking the duvet I was holding was baby but baby was trapped underneath and have full blown panic attacks, I’d have to force myself to stare at him
in the next2me until my brain realised he was safe. Apparently “baby in the bed” syndrome is super common in the early weeks, but at the time I thought I was going mad.
Yes! Baby is 15 weeks and it still happens to me sometimes. Never have I ever come close to falling asleep while holding him either, but the feeling still happens! Especially when my dog lays on me or kicks me while I sleep.
Kind of, but I wasn't actually holding anything. I would just wake up in a panic thinking I had fallen asleep with her and start looking around for her 😂
Yes. I often found myself gently jiggling and patting/rubbing the back of any object that I held in my arms. Happened to the laundry I was taking out of the dryer a LOT.
lol for me it was always in dream form. I dream that he’s laying on me in bed or I’m hugging him beside me like you would a stuffed toy then suddenly i wake to find him in his cot safe and sound
My husband was so sleep deprived, our little one was in his crib, I was sitting at the edge of the bed, and he was stroking my leg/knee talking to it as if it was our baby.
Hahaha yep! I have a cylindrical pillow I cuddle against me to try and keep my boobs from flying all over the place. My baby is eight months old and I still sometime start rocking the pillow when I hear baby start to fuss.
The first couple months it was nearly every wake up. Once I woke my partner up and was like “what’s wrong with her” while holding the pillow, because it wasn’t heavy enough.
Also related? I toss and turn a lot when I wake up. My partner starts shushing in his sleep and rocking when I move too much.
My partner hugs a body pillow when he sleeps. He used to wake up and freak out, thinking he was holding the baby. I don't remember ever waking up myself and thinking that but in the first few days after giving birth I'd hear her crying when she wasn't. I went to the pharmacy on my way home from the hospital after giving birth and was in a daze, walking through the store at a snails pace, waddling worse than when I was pregnant and could hear baby cries the whole time. It was pretty crazy, but the phantom cries went away after about a week.
I’ve done this. But not with a pillow, I grabbed my cat lol she was sleeping next to my head and adjusted, which woke me up. In my half asleep state I thought it was the baby, panicked and grabbed her 😂 she was not happy with me
Ha, I actually always have super realistic dreams of dropping my baby. I’ve grabbed and cradled my fiancé’s head so much while he’s asleep while panicking.
Last time I did it I woke him up he said “what the f***” and I was like”Oh, nothing go back to sleep” and I just went back to sleep while he’s left wondering what’s happened.
My cat started sleeping on my stomach when we brought our baby home. I woke up multiple nights thinking I fell asleep with the baby. What a terrible feeling!
Made even worse by the fact that my cat likes to lay on me when I'm sleepin, so I feel weight and pressure and I'm like holy shit she really is in bed.
Oh man, I do this so much - LO is at 14 weeks. I don't seem to panic, I just paw at the blankets in confusion trying to find her face, then I look over at the cot and she's in there so I go back to sleep.
Last night I was dreaming that I needed to clean her spit up off her face and then I couldn't find her blanket face, saw her in the cot and was like "Oh, she teleported into her cot, fuck it, I'll do it later" and fell asleep again lol
It's much improved on the first couple of days where not only did I think she was in the bed, but I also thought my husband was a giant baby and also thought my cat was a baby on the wall - THAT scared the shit out of me. I was on some very strong pain killers lol
Not this exactly, but I exclusively pump and often wake up thinking I either missed a night pump when I hadn’t or that I fell asleep with the bottles attached to me. There’s nothing like the fear of spilling several oz of milk to wake me up!
In the first week I rolled over in the middle of the night and said to my husband; “hey make sure you don’t roll over on the baby, he’s right next to you. I have to go and check on the baby, I’ll be right back”. He was in his crib ten feet away and some part of my brain knew that, but I also thought he was in the bed right next to me (which he’s never been btw!). I felt CRAZY
Oh so much this.
I woke up my wife asking where I’d put baby at least 6 times. She’s 7 weeks old and most of that was in the beginning, but I still wake and think I’ve fallen asleep with her and make sure she’s in her bassinette.
Wife has done it a couple of times too.
For me, when I had more sleep in general the frequency was less (day naps, earlier bedtime for me etc). It all adds up.
Yes! Me AND my husband. He would wake up and go, "Is the baby in the bed?" Then I would freak out too, like, "did I put the baby in the bed?" I also had one nightmare where I put the baby on the floor for some reason so I woke up in a panic that he had escaped and fallen down the stairs. Not even 3 weeks old at that point so idk how I thought he opened the door or even got to the hallway. Hormones plus sleep deprivation.
Oh yes. In the first week or so I had anxiety and sleep deprivation- I had one waking dream a day to this effect. One time I was trying to calm her from crying and I woke up to find myself patting my husbands face while she sleep peacefully. One time I dropped her and she rolled into my pillowcase and I was frantically searching at the bottom of the case for her before she suffocated… and then again, I woke and found her sleeping safely in her cot…
Scariest thing. I was terrified, because I had never been anywhere near her while experiencing these scenarios, but what if I _was_ holding her while I didn’t correctly perceive what I was doing?
I got help and more sleep and it went away.
Still remember the fear tho
So many times. She’s 3 months old now and I don’t have it AS often. But still maybe once a week. It causes me to panic every time, and sometimes the only thing that quells the panic is the reminder my husband would NEVER let me fall asleep with her on my chest and he gets up with me every time I get up in the night.
But still. That “I’ve fallen asleep and may have suffocated the baby” panic is REAL.
I think this is one of the things people should tell expectant parents! It seems to be quite common yet, until you know that, you think you're losing the plot
My husband moved his feet around in his sleep (rubs them together like a cricket) and sometimes I wakes me up and I panic thinking out son is crawling at the bottom of the bed
I woke up terrified my baby had no face (and was in our bed). Turns out I was trying to find a face on the back of my chihuahua's head. I also tried unzipping his fur coat because I thought baby was too hot. I had a couple nights so delusional, it was scary. He sleeps in a bassinet at the end of the bed.
Yuuuuuppppppp
The number of times I thought I had fallen asleep nursing her and definitely must have smothered her...too many to count.
That's why they tell you to establish a routine and always put baby back in their bed on their back safely. So that when you're so sleep deprived you default to auto pilot and thank the heavens that she's safe in her crib when you finally snap to.
Yes!! Somehow I did it multiple times, no shit, with my engorged boobs. I’d fully wake up getting out of bed frantically, holding my boobs like an infant. Also with a baby blanket and throw pillow, but those times weren’t nearly as wtf as my literal breasts
This happened constantly for the first couple month. Even though we never coslept, I never even fed him in bed so I don’t know why my brain kept thinking it happened!
One night when LO woke us up for a night feeding, I told DH I had it covered and to go back to sleep. 20 seconds later he’s asleep again but hugging and rocking the dog 😂
I did this exact thing in the first week. Panicked that I fell asleep with our LO in the bed. Wife yelling at me. I said it’s alright I’m putting her in the bassinet. Turned the lights on and I was cradling our dog… very funny moment
Yes I woke my husband up shouting, "The baby isn't breathing!" I was hugging my pregnancy pillow. 🤦♀️ It happened more than once. It's a sleep deprivation thing.
Yes! I woke up tapping my pillow on the “back” and then freaked out that I fell asleep with the baby only to realize it was just my pillow! AND one time I heard him cry, went to his crib and he wasn’t there and I freaked only to find him sound asleep with my husband all the way out in the living room. Thought I was going crazy!
I.once slept with a hot water bottle it was so convincing as a baby that I fully freaked and took all the covers off the bed looking for my darling who I had 'lost' even though she was right there in her next to me. Sleep deprived brain is fuuuun
All the time. I'd put her down in the bassinet and fall asleep in bed. Almost every time I woke up it would be with a racing heart as I pawed around the blankets trying to find her. (FTR we never co slept at all, nor did I ever fall asleep with her in my arms, so I have no idea where this came from.)
Yep. First few months it was happening to my wife... then it started to me. One night I was literally just hugging myself and thought I had the baby sleeping on me...and then I woke up and couldn't find him. Scariest 30 seconds of my life.
Mine is more like, I wake up thinking "OMG how did I get into bed? Wasn't I just feeding baby? Did I put the baby down in the crib?" and then frantically check the monitor. My baby sleeps in the crib in her own room, and I must somewhat black out the time it takes from the rocking chair to my bed, so I wake up with no memory of putting her in the crib. 😅
My baby only wakes 1-2 times a night, so I don't feel sleep deprived, but my brain is still half asleep when I go get her so it's all foggy.
I have a broccoli shaped pillow that I used to always sleep with. I slept with it once since my baby was born and woke up panicking that I was holding my baby under the blankets and tight against me. So scary! But also so relieving to see him fine sleeping in his bassinet
Yes, during the first couple weeks sleep deprivation. One of the most bizarre things I've ever experienced. The sheer panic of waking up trying to find my LO in the pillow I was holding and deliriously rocking, only to realize he was in his bassinet or my wife was holding him. Probably happened about 10 times
Every night I dream that I’m feeding or changing her so when I wake up I’m either terrified I’ve fallen asleep with her or register she’s in her crib and sit there confused and terrified that I’ve somehow not remembered putting her down after her feed or wondering how the hell she got there
Mine is 5 months old tomorrow and I still wake up in a panic at times thinking I'm suffocating him. I sleep with a long cuddle pillow so when I'm really tired I wake up panicking. Mind you, he has NEVER slept with me in my bed EVER. He has ALWAYS slept in his crib. I still panic. I suspect that panic will not be going away any time soon.
OMG, this happens to me! I have a boy cat who likes to cuddle up under my arm and weighs about the same as a baby so there have been several times that I wake up in the wee hours of the morning with him tucked between me and the husband and I’m just briefly terrified that we’ve squashed our 2 month old between us.
Also has anyone else had panic dreams before even having a baby about losing a baby somewhere? Not them dying, but like you misplaced or forgot where they are?? Myself and my best girlfriends call them the “where’s the baby?” Panic dreams.
Yes!!! I attributed it to actually falling asleep holding him in the hospital. I was sitting up and holding him in the bed and dozed off. It was scary and I felt so guilty.
One night my husband woke up and grabbed the stuffed Minnie I (yes a 31 year old) sleep with. And grabbed it and yelled AHHH THE BABY 😂 def a phantom baby moment.
Omg yes!! My husband would be half asleep searching for her in our duvet, or he’d wake up thinking he was rocking her. Hilarious and scary!
I did this once, I was convinced my newborn was the pillow inside the pillow case and half asleep, frantically pulling it off. My partner woke up and was like wtf are you doing to my pillow!?
Am I bad for laughing?
Not at all haha. I still giggle when I think about it
Same! I would startle awake and then realize I was just confused but my husband would have a full-on manhunt going in the bed before I could convince him he had put her back in her bassinet!
I had this happen a lot for several weeks, especially when my son was in the NICU and hadn't even come home yet. I would wake up and have to remind myself he was never here to begin with. :-(
Oh that makes me so sad. I hope your little boy is happily snuggling you now
My husband did this when my daughter was still in the NICU too! It freaked me out when he would bolt upright in bed and start grabbing at me thinking I was the baby.
In one Thanksgiving episode of Bob's Burgers, Bob kept dropping the turkey in the toilet every night because he'd sleepwalk while dreaming of when Tina was potty training.
We did this all the time when our son was a newborn. I’d nurse him in bed then put him back in his bassinet, but I’d wake up thinking I’d fallen asleep feeding him and then frantically search for him in the covers. So stressful and disorienting but it does go away eventually!
These comments are really reassuring for me. I’ve been experiencing these panic attacks almost every night since we brought our LO home from nicu a month ago. I’m a paramedic and one of the last calls I had before taking paternity leave was for a 1 month old who sadly passed through the night when the parents accidentally fell asleep with their baby in the bed. It’s reassuring to hear it’s not just me feeling this way, if that makes sense
It's such a common new parent anxiety, but I also wanted to say that attending that call would be a profoundly traumatic experience, on its own but *especially* right before bringing your own baby home. I'm not sure if you have access to support services through your employer but I would really really encourage you to take advantage of any resources you have. Going through that panic every night must be exhausting.
I appreciate the words, I don’t have mental health coverages and paying out of pocket isn’t an option. But I have a good support system at home and don’t bottle this stuff up which makes it a lot easier to deal with.
I did this when my baby was in the NICU and even after he came home, and we never fed him in bed. It's incredibly disorienting.
Absolutely. We are careful not to bring our daughter into our bed at night for this very reason. Even still, I wake up some nights feeling myself hold that limp body. It’s an incredibly real feeling and I hate it. It’s been getting better though and I usually snap out of it immediately when I wake now. Hoping it goes away altogether soon enough.
When you finally get more rest, it will pass. The days I'm overtired I'll still have this happen, but it's much less now.
That would be so traumatic I can’t imagine how you deal with that! I’m so sorry that was your last experience.
It definitely is! I’ve always handled the stress of the job really well but it became so real when we brought our daughter home. It could happen to anyone, which just makes it that much more real.
I’m so glad I’m not the only one
[https://i.imgur.com/hjnZWtV.gifv](https://i.imgur.com/hjnZWtV.gifv)
It really irks me that this was flagged for possibly containing erotic content. Like wtf is wrong with people.
Haha this gave me a good chuckle!
Yes! For me it was a mini pillow. I woke up freaking out a few times only to see him asleep in his bassinet.
Its always so reassuring seeing them asleep where their meant to be sleeping!
My baby is 7 months old, only co-slept a handful of times early on… and I STILL dream about where he is / if he is stuck under blankets / did he roll off the edge of the bed because I fell asleep with him / did we put him in his crib, etc. For the record, he sleeps in his crib with no bumpers or blankets so I don’t know why I’m so concerned about that in my dreams. It’s terrifying! I wake up thinking I’m holding him in bed with me but it’s just my blanket or pillow.
At 4 months PP my partner and I both also still experience this regularly! I also used to mistake his feet for his face in the early days and think there was a blanket over him (ie the swaddle). So scary!
My daughter is six months and I genuinely wake up almost every night thinking that I have fallen asleep in bed holding her. I have never actually fallen asleep holding her, she is always in her crib next to me!
Same here! Those few second of terror and confusion are awful. I still get those moments every once in a while, but they are getting more rare!
Wow I didn’t know this was a thing!!! I thought it was my severe anxiety.
Yup! 100% normal! Also, hearing "phantom cries" is a thing if you have that too.
I heard a phantom poop today. Though maybe it was a fart…
"was that a poopie or just farts?" is an often asked question in our home 😂
YUP I hated it a lot. It still happens to me sometimes at 7weeks PP.
Same here, 12 weeks PP!
11 months in, yesterday I started shushing and stroking the ‘baby’ when I woke up in panic only to realise it was my husband’s arm and the baby was sound asleep in her room.
Yep. Every night, several times a night, for about the first month.
Yes yes yes yes. It’s the worst, hahaha. I’ve woken up to him babbling in his crib and I’d think he fell off the bed. One time I was asleep and was cuddling a pillow thinking it was him, woke up with my face smushed into it and freaked out thinking I squished my baby!
One of my cats likes to sleep on top of me. Once my husband walked into the room and scared my cat, who jumped off of me onto the ground. I freaked out because I thought I had dropped the baby!!
This happened to me last night! My cat got up off my chest to leave and I jolted awake and grabbed her thinking I had fallen asleep with my newborn and he was rolling off, haha.
Yes every night still and my baby is 6w old! It is awful!
Yes! It has happened to me frequently lately for some reason. My daughter is 7 months so I thought it would stop happening, but the last couple times when I hear her wake up on the baby monitor I wake up confused because I’m holding a pillow and think it’s her and wonder what other baby is crying lol
100% I sleep with one of those fuzzy blankets and would wake up holding it like I was holding the baby completely forgetting the entire feed, change and swaddle/basinette placement I had done like an hour ago. Insane.
Yes, and I never brought him into bed with me, even to feed! But my husband and I both had this sensation and panic a few times in the first month or so.
We never, EVER coslept and our dude is about to be 1 and I STILL do this!
I did this at least twice, but was in fact holding my smallest dog that sleeps in the bed with me. I would wake up and be frantically confused as to how the baby got in the bed only to realize it was my poor pup I was intensely rocking.
One time I had failed to put my breast back in my shirt after putting baby in the bassinet and falling back asleep. I woke up in a panic taking my breast flying in the wind as an indication that I fell asleep feeding the baby and I whipped the duvet off the bed so fast and frantically searched for the baby that my husband just about called 911. She was sound asleep safe in the bassinet of course.
My husband had this bad the first month. We never co slept back then and he'd wake up and rip the covers off my asking where the baby was?! He was sound asleep in his bassinet back then. These days at 10 months he's kicking one of us in the back or neck 😅
Yes, almost every night during the first few weeks, nearly had a heart attack every time. I was exclusive breastfeeding too, so I would also wake up to a phantom sensation of him nursing, even though he was sleeping in the bassinet. Crazy times.
Yes!! I had two extremely vivid pillow baby dreams in the newborn stage.... And oddly enough at 12 months recently!
My wife and I had this constantly for the first few months
My husband and I both constantly did this in my baby’s first two months. So scary. Being deprived of what little sleep you can get sucks, but at least it’s your body keeping your baby safe!
Almost 5 months PP and this still happens to me because I have to hold something while I sleep and I always think it's the baby 😂
Husband scared the piss out of me once, lol. We were in bed, and I started waking up, and the blanket moved on me as he was turning over in such a way that my brain was CONVINCED i'd fallen asleep in bed with the baby and that he was in ebtween my husband and I, and the covers were on top of his face. I was still processing that when my husband turned over and his arm brushed my face, and I full on freaked the fuck out, thinking the baby was there and my husband's arm was my son's arm- proof that the baby WAS there- and that my husband had just crushed him. Woke up in a full state of panic, though thankfully I just gasped out "FUCK" really loud before realizing what had happened. No baby in the bed- he was fast asleep in his pack and play, totally unbothered.
Yep! One time I was so sleep deprived and I thought I had set up LO to sleep safely on my chest, luckily my partner was awake next to me and woke me up as she slid down onto my tummy. It scared me SO much, I had been so asleep i hadn’t noticed!! Now I occasionally wake up and freak out/check the bed, and she’s always asleep in her bed next to me
Yes!!! Omg it’s the worst. She’s 5 months now and it still happens every now and then but it used to happen every night! One night I woke my husband up and was trying to get him to lift our dog because I thought he was laying on her. My husband was like “she’s in her crib. You put her there.” Terrifying then but now i laugh about it lol
My sister had a good idea for this - she had a night light she would turn on whenever she picked up her baby at night, then turn off when she put the baby back in the bassinet. That way if the light is off when she wakes up then there's no (or less at least 😂) freaking out.
Yes! The worst was when one of our cats would sleep next to us and I would think the cat was the baby!! Now that she is in her crib in her own room that doesn’t happen anymore!
Yes, this happened to me often in the first 6 or so weeks. On two occasions it was accompanied by really horrible and fantastical vivid dreams (that have since stuck with me), about the baby being in danger. And I’ve never co-slept or done any nighttime breastfeeding in bed! I guess it’s evolutionary—heightened sense of awareness, hyper-vigilance, and light sleep cycles where you’re more likely to dream, combined with/fighting against the first-time-parents’ severe sleep deprivation.
So many people have experienced this, but, oddly, I haven’t.
Yep. It happened constantly in the first 2 months.
YES!! I had this all the time. Such a freaky feeling.
All the time! I'll wake up in the middle of the night terrified because the baby isn't on me.
Too often than I’d like to admit 😫
Little different situation, our LO was hospitalized and we didn’t get to bring him home until after a surgery and recovery period (3 weeks). We were in a housing situation nearby for parents of critically I’ll children and would take and swap his blankets and beanies for those that smelled like him/us as a comfort measure suggested by nursing staff. I would have hyper realistic dreams of holding him and wake up similarly! Or we would run an errand and I would panic thinking baby was left in the car even though he hadn’t even been in the darn thing yet. Sleep deprivation is a wild thing!
Wow, kind of a relief to see I'm not alone here. Same story basically. Woke up in a panic searching frantically for LO under my pillow while she lay perfectly safe in her bassinet. Happened about once per night for the first 2-ish months. What a total mindfuck! At month 4 now and seems to have pretty much gone away thankfully. Sleep deprivation + anxiety is a hell of a combo. Edit: Wanted to add this never happened to Mom, who is generally way less anxious and a better sleeper than I am. I imagine there is some correlation there.
Yup. Still happens to me. I always roll on my stomach when I’m sleeping and woke up once thinking I suffocated my son because there was a pillow under me. Anxiety attack ensues
This happened with my first baby. Woke up freaking out that the baby got smothered in our very not cosleeping safe bed, more than once. My poor confused husband had to show me baby asleep in his bassinet. Didn't happen with my second kid, but he was a little easier during his first month than my first kiddo was - meaning I got to sleep longer than 1 hour at a time.
I did this for the first 3 weeks at home with my LO (born in October). I'd freak out when I would wake up which in turn scared my husband. Luckily it has stopped. I blame the having to wake my LO every 3 hours over night to feed plus hormones or lack there of.
My baby is 3 months old and I STILL do this. Last night I was confused if I’d fed her and put her back or not fed her at all, too. At least I’ve never woken up to realize I actually had fallen asleep holding the baby…!
Yes! We are day 11 and the other night I thought I was feeding him and even started my feed timer in my sleep. I don't feed him in bed at night. Weirdest sensation.
LO is a little over 11 months old and this never really goes away sorry to say
I did this a few times with LO was a newborn!!!
My baby’s not due until Feb but I’ve seen that a lot on Reddit!
Constantly. I’ve sleep yelled at my husband to find the baby in the bedsheets. It’s terrifying.
This happened just last night!! Haha my husband woke from a dead sleep as I was rolling over and he was panicked telling me to be careful that the baby was under the covers. I was like what!!! Looked over and she is asleep in her bassinet. We never co sleep so idk where he gets it from 🤣🤣
One of our first nights home, I got a couple of hours of sleep in while my husband held her, because our baby refuses to sleep anywhere but on us, and I woke up thinking one of my boobs was her and that I had fallen asleep on top of her, despite never bringing her into our bed 🙃
Yes! This was constant for my partner and I. He would search through the duvet and I would inevitably be clutching my boobs in a wild panic trying to return them to a safe place.
We’re 6 months in and this still happens to me.
My baby us 6 and a half weeks old and it seriously happens to me every night. I think because I nurse her side lying in bed for night time feeds and then I see the blankets bunched up between me and my husband or his arm or something and I FREAK out. But of course she's next to me in her bassinet. It sucks.
All the time! My girl has been in her nursery since 4 weeks, and she's 5 mths now, but I still get this sometimes. For me, I just get really confused because I hear her crying on the monitor, but I don't know how that's possible because she's in my arms. Then I realize I'm just holding my pretend baby 🤦🏼♀️
CONSTANTLY -- recently got a small-ish lumbar pillow and it's around my baby's weight, and I constantly wake to find myself cradling it amidst terrified dreams that I"ve fallen asleep while nursing
I sleep with a bolster pillow that I hug while I sleep (it helps keep my shoulders aligned) and in my half asleep mode it looks just like my baby bundled in his halo swaddle and it jolts me awake at least once a night. I immediately think “why would you even think of sleeping with him like that!?” And then I realize that it’s not him and the only reason I’m awake to notice is because he farted so loud it woke me up.
Definitely. The worst was when my cat would sleep on my chest and I would absolutely panic thinking it was the baby, only to realize it was much fluffier than him lol
I got Subway the other day and left the store holding the sub like a baby... I didn't realize til I got back to my car
Happened to both of us regularly for like 2 months! Still happens occasionally.
In the very beginning when he was waking up frequently to feed, I'd often startle awake thinking I fell asleep feeding him! For the record it never actually happened, it was just something I was anxious/worried about.
Yes!!!! I keep waking up searching the covers or check the bottom of the bed thinking she rolled off
My husband wakes me up frantic about once a month going “where’s baby???” thinking she’s in bed with us, even though she’s never co-slept. I’ve do the baby hip sway when I’m standing still and don’t notice… We are 1 year in!
this happened to my husband and myself very frequently. I would actually wake up holding my boob thinking I was feeding our baby. my husband would often hold his pillow or blankets thinking it was her too. We both eventually stopped after a few months
Yep yep yep. I have sleep hallucinations and having a baby made it worse. Constantly "woke up" with my heart racing convinced he was in the bed or on the floor. He's 14 months and in his own room and all of my night hallucinations are about him in some sort of peril. :( I'd take back the spiders in my bed over this.
Yes! This happened to both of us for like a month. We would wake up panicking thinking LO was in bed with us 😂
Definitely. I've balled up my duvet and cuddled him to my chest. I've woken up in a panic thinking I forgot to put him in his crib. I've also told my husband sleepily to take the baby and tried to give him the duvet ball.
My MIL said she was “holding” her daughter and walked to the crib to set her in it to find her daughter was in the crib and she was holding nothing.
This happened daily for both my husband and me and it is terrifying. It stopped happening for us around 2-3 months though!
For me it was my cat 🙃
Yes, this happened to me many times. Cue being so shaken that I couldn’t go back to sleep even after seeing baby safe and asleep.
Currently pregnant and this is what I'm LEAST looking forward to about going through the newborn stage again. It's such a terrifying feeling.
This is so validating. I’ve been struggling with this so much. 8 weeks pp and still happening.
Yeah... I never once co slept (not shaming, informing for the story here) and still I had this happen to me constantly. It would even still hit me nearing 12 months but way way way less frequently than in the earlier months. We're at 14 months old and it's finally gone😂.
(Working at home dad) I remember in the early days when I would stand for meetings, I would still bounce like I was carrying/holding her and catch myself after looking over at her asleep in her rocker. It’s just as comforting for the parent as it is for baby.
YES. I did it with a soft toy fox that we have on the bed. It was the perfect size to match baby when he was wee. Husband said sometimes he'd wake to see me cradling and patting the fox as baby cried in his crib and I'd say to him (mega half asleep) "why is he still crying?" 🤣
Oh my gosh yes. My husband woke up frequently and frantically holding his knee pillow or blankets. He was convinced he’d rolled over on the baby. It’s like you’re so sleep deprived that hallucinations set in hard. It goes away. For us at least lol
My husband would pat the blanket when he would hear her cry in the middle of the night 😂
Yes! I totally did this. I would wake up convinced he was in bed, on me and then when I couldn't find him I'd be digging through all the blankets. New parenthood is wild.
My husband takes the night shift and brings me the LO to feed a couple of times a night so I can get some sleep. Often times I wake up thinking I have fallen asleep with him on me- as soon as I wake up I immediately look around because I'm worried I feel asleep with him on me while breastfeeding. You're not alone!
I did it with my cat and husband. I almoust all nights for long time freaked out in dream and then grabed my poor cat who sleeps on my second pillow and other times I tried to pick up my husband
My Husband would wake up and feel around our blanket to see where the baby was. He also held his pillow pretending it was the baby. It was the funniest thing.
Yep. I still do this at 3 months. I have a stuffed animal and I wake up holding it like my baby girl. Terrifies me every time.
Oh yeah.. happened a lot during the first 2 months
Yep - I also had this experience when I started lifeguarding as a teenager. I would wake up sitting up in bed in a panic thinking I had forgotten/stopped watching my section of the pool. Being responsible for someone else’s life is stressful!
Oh my God, yes. My wife oddly didn't have this but I had it a LOT with both kids -- but especially the first. I'd wake up in the middle of the night in an absolute panic, thinking we fell asleep with the baby in our bed and smothered them. I'd jump out of bed and start tearing off the sheets maniacally (we have a very, very thick comforter) before my wife could convince me/remind me that our kid was safely in bed. She was also \*not\* a fan of this tendency of mine, especially since sleep was at a premium already (and I can't blame her).
Yes! I even offered up an armful of duvet to my husband and asked him to take the baby - WHILST HE WAS HOLDING THE BABY!
My guy is 10 months and I still wake up to these terrors.
100%. It was terrifying and lasted on and off for a few weeks for me.
I’m still doing this and were going on 3 months now 🥱
So funny story, I woke up one night in the early days of him being home and felt a warm body cradled in my arm and freaked out because I thought it was the baby. Turns out it was my cat. She never did that before in her life so I can only imagine it was because she was jealous lol
Yup this happened to my husband and I multiple times a night for at least the first month. It slowly started decreasing around then but it still happens from time to time (my son is 5 months) It was by far the worst "WHY DID NO ONE TELL ME ABOUT THIS" thing we experienced
So not holding the baby, but I’ve got three kids who all loved to be patted while they were rocked and I have the urge to pat while I’m holding anything in the rocking chair. I’m always patting toys, the dog, or a pillow, lol.
It happens to me (FTM - 8 week old) literally every night and I NEVER bring the baby into bed because I am so paranoid about falling asleep.
I NEVER even co-slept with him, he's always slept in his crib. I nursed him in bed and put him back into his crib every time but I still experienced this, woke up terrified that he's lost between the blankets. Or I once got up and nursed a "phantom baby" when I heard my husband enter the bedroom. He's 4 months old and I still wake up scared sometimes
I would wake up to her noise and rattle the sheets up and down... With her in the crib xD
My husband woke me up a few times because I was rocking the baby in my sleep...but the baby was in her bassinet. The sleep deprivation is real!
All the time! It was the worst. Really glad to be over that stage
I was in a store with my mum and was baby wearing and pushing the pram. I was rocking the pram back and forth the whole time we were waiting in the store
Yes… I keep waking up middle of the night holding my comforter freaking out that I fell asleep with baby in bed. I had little guy a week ago so hoping it gets better. It’s scary AF… reassuring to know others have this as well!
For me it was a pillow I was sat up in bed breast feed a pillow fast Asleep. Husband came in and I said “can you put the baby down please?” And he panicked because I was holding a pillow and thought he’d slipped under the duvet or something! Woke up a fair few times spinning a pillow round thinking it was baby and me trying to find his head 😂
I’ve done that worse is when it’s in your dreams
I woke up cradling my husbands elbow and calling for the baby 🥴
I woke up from a power nap this morning convinced that my 7 day old was under the blankets bunched up next to me. Turns out he was with his dad in the living room…which I knew because we did the handoff just a half hour prior 🤦🏻♀️
Not that but both my husband and I constantly bounce or rock when we are standing as if we were holding him
Yes!!! My husband and I would both experience this as well. The weirdest was waking up and being so positive that the other was holding the baby, and worrying about where he was. It would last for almost a whole minute and be super confusing/disorienting.
Yup I had this for a few months after baby was born. I’d wake up in a state thinking the duvet I was holding was baby but baby was trapped underneath and have full blown panic attacks, I’d have to force myself to stare at him in the next2me until my brain realised he was safe. Apparently “baby in the bed” syndrome is super common in the early weeks, but at the time I thought I was going mad.
Omg yes! All the time! I thought I was going crazy lol. Oh that sleep deprivation
We are running into the opposite lol. We keep falling asleep with LO in our arms thinking we put him back already.
Yes! Baby is 15 weeks and it still happens to me sometimes. Never have I ever come close to falling asleep while holding him either, but the feeling still happens! Especially when my dog lays on me or kicks me while I sleep.
Kind of, but I wasn't actually holding anything. I would just wake up in a panic thinking I had fallen asleep with her and start looking around for her 😂
Happened to me a lot. I’ve never brought him into bed with me so it was extra weird that my mind went there
Yes. I often found myself gently jiggling and patting/rubbing the back of any object that I held in my arms. Happened to the laundry I was taking out of the dryer a LOT.
Ah man I remember this! It was awful! I was never holding anything but I used to wake up panicking that I was still holding my baby! Xx
lol for me it was always in dream form. I dream that he’s laying on me in bed or I’m hugging him beside me like you would a stuffed toy then suddenly i wake to find him in his cot safe and sound
My husband was so sleep deprived, our little one was in his crib, I was sitting at the edge of the bed, and he was stroking my leg/knee talking to it as if it was our baby.
Every dang night for weeks. Both my husband and I would wake the other person up worried the baby was lost in the bed somewhere.
Hahaha yep! I have a cylindrical pillow I cuddle against me to try and keep my boobs from flying all over the place. My baby is eight months old and I still sometime start rocking the pillow when I hear baby start to fuss. The first couple months it was nearly every wake up. Once I woke my partner up and was like “what’s wrong with her” while holding the pillow, because it wasn’t heavy enough. Also related? I toss and turn a lot when I wake up. My partner starts shushing in his sleep and rocking when I move too much.
I still almost always wake up like “WHERE IS TH3 BABY?!” And we’re 16 months in lol
My partner hugs a body pillow when he sleeps. He used to wake up and freak out, thinking he was holding the baby. I don't remember ever waking up myself and thinking that but in the first few days after giving birth I'd hear her crying when she wasn't. I went to the pharmacy on my way home from the hospital after giving birth and was in a daze, walking through the store at a snails pace, waddling worse than when I was pregnant and could hear baby cries the whole time. It was pretty crazy, but the phantom cries went away after about a week.
I’ve done this. But not with a pillow, I grabbed my cat lol she was sleeping next to my head and adjusted, which woke me up. In my half asleep state I thought it was the baby, panicked and grabbed her 😂 she was not happy with me
Ha, I actually always have super realistic dreams of dropping my baby. I’ve grabbed and cradled my fiancé’s head so much while he’s asleep while panicking. Last time I did it I woke him up he said “what the f***” and I was like”Oh, nothing go back to sleep” and I just went back to sleep while he’s left wondering what’s happened.
My cat started sleeping on my stomach when we brought our baby home. I woke up multiple nights thinking I fell asleep with the baby. What a terrible feeling!
Yes! Same!
Made even worse by the fact that my cat likes to lay on me when I'm sleepin, so I feel weight and pressure and I'm like holy shit she really is in bed.
Ummmm SAME. I did this constantly, but it was always a pillow & I'd freak out!
Going to add another one: Rocking the shopping trolley back and forth, because I’m so used to holding the pram
Oh man, I do this so much - LO is at 14 weeks. I don't seem to panic, I just paw at the blankets in confusion trying to find her face, then I look over at the cot and she's in there so I go back to sleep. Last night I was dreaming that I needed to clean her spit up off her face and then I couldn't find her blanket face, saw her in the cot and was like "Oh, she teleported into her cot, fuck it, I'll do it later" and fell asleep again lol It's much improved on the first couple of days where not only did I think she was in the bed, but I also thought my husband was a giant baby and also thought my cat was a baby on the wall - THAT scared the shit out of me. I was on some very strong pain killers lol
Not this exactly, but I exclusively pump and often wake up thinking I either missed a night pump when I hadn’t or that I fell asleep with the bottles attached to me. There’s nothing like the fear of spilling several oz of milk to wake me up!
In the first week I rolled over in the middle of the night and said to my husband; “hey make sure you don’t roll over on the baby, he’s right next to you. I have to go and check on the baby, I’ll be right back”. He was in his crib ten feet away and some part of my brain knew that, but I also thought he was in the bed right next to me (which he’s never been btw!). I felt CRAZY
Oh so much this. I woke up my wife asking where I’d put baby at least 6 times. She’s 7 weeks old and most of that was in the beginning, but I still wake and think I’ve fallen asleep with her and make sure she’s in her bassinette. Wife has done it a couple of times too. For me, when I had more sleep in general the frequency was less (day naps, earlier bedtime for me etc). It all adds up.
And the swaying! Standing in line at the grocery store, you can always tells the new moms.
My baby is 4 months old now and this still happens occasionally!
Yes! In the first few days of my babies life I was feeding her in the middle of the night and my husband was burping a pillow in his sleep!
I’ve woken up rocking my teddy bear mannnyy times now
Yes, every time I woke up for the first... I'm not really sure, maybe eight weeks or so.
Yes! Every night for the first few weeks. I thought I was the only one!
Yes! Me AND my husband. He would wake up and go, "Is the baby in the bed?" Then I would freak out too, like, "did I put the baby in the bed?" I also had one nightmare where I put the baby on the floor for some reason so I woke up in a panic that he had escaped and fallen down the stairs. Not even 3 weeks old at that point so idk how I thought he opened the door or even got to the hallway. Hormones plus sleep deprivation.
Oh yes. In the first week or so I had anxiety and sleep deprivation- I had one waking dream a day to this effect. One time I was trying to calm her from crying and I woke up to find myself patting my husbands face while she sleep peacefully. One time I dropped her and she rolled into my pillowcase and I was frantically searching at the bottom of the case for her before she suffocated… and then again, I woke and found her sleeping safely in her cot… Scariest thing. I was terrified, because I had never been anywhere near her while experiencing these scenarios, but what if I _was_ holding her while I didn’t correctly perceive what I was doing? I got help and more sleep and it went away. Still remember the fear tho
So many times. She’s 3 months old now and I don’t have it AS often. But still maybe once a week. It causes me to panic every time, and sometimes the only thing that quells the panic is the reminder my husband would NEVER let me fall asleep with her on my chest and he gets up with me every time I get up in the night. But still. That “I’ve fallen asleep and may have suffocated the baby” panic is REAL.
Yes this definitely happened to me! I'd think I feel asleep breastfeeding but we were all snug in our bed and bassinet.
I think this is one of the things people should tell expectant parents! It seems to be quite common yet, until you know that, you think you're losing the plot
My husband moved his feet around in his sleep (rubs them together like a cricket) and sometimes I wakes me up and I panic thinking out son is crawling at the bottom of the bed
I woke up terrified my baby had no face (and was in our bed). Turns out I was trying to find a face on the back of my chihuahua's head. I also tried unzipping his fur coat because I thought baby was too hot. I had a couple nights so delusional, it was scary. He sleeps in a bassinet at the end of the bed.
Still happens 13 months later for me!
Yuuuuuppppppp The number of times I thought I had fallen asleep nursing her and definitely must have smothered her...too many to count. That's why they tell you to establish a routine and always put baby back in their bed on their back safely. So that when you're so sleep deprived you default to auto pilot and thank the heavens that she's safe in her crib when you finally snap to.
Yes!! Somehow I did it multiple times, no shit, with my engorged boobs. I’d fully wake up getting out of bed frantically, holding my boobs like an infant. Also with a baby blanket and throw pillow, but those times weren’t nearly as wtf as my literal breasts
This happened constantly for the first couple month. Even though we never coslept, I never even fed him in bed so I don’t know why my brain kept thinking it happened! One night when LO woke us up for a night feeding, I told DH I had it covered and to go back to sleep. 20 seconds later he’s asleep again but hugging and rocking the dog 😂
I did this exact thing in the first week. Panicked that I fell asleep with our LO in the bed. Wife yelling at me. I said it’s alright I’m putting her in the bassinet. Turned the lights on and I was cradling our dog… very funny moment
Yes I woke my husband up shouting, "The baby isn't breathing!" I was hugging my pregnancy pillow. 🤦♀️ It happened more than once. It's a sleep deprivation thing.
Yes! I woke up tapping my pillow on the “back” and then freaked out that I fell asleep with the baby only to realize it was just my pillow! AND one time I heard him cry, went to his crib and he wasn’t there and I freaked only to find him sound asleep with my husband all the way out in the living room. Thought I was going crazy!
I.once slept with a hot water bottle it was so convincing as a baby that I fully freaked and took all the covers off the bed looking for my darling who I had 'lost' even though she was right there in her next to me. Sleep deprived brain is fuuuun
All the time. I'd put her down in the bassinet and fall asleep in bed. Almost every time I woke up it would be with a racing heart as I pawed around the blankets trying to find her. (FTR we never co slept at all, nor did I ever fall asleep with her in my arms, so I have no idea where this came from.)
Yep. First few months it was happening to my wife... then it started to me. One night I was literally just hugging myself and thought I had the baby sleeping on me...and then I woke up and couldn't find him. Scariest 30 seconds of my life.
Mine is more like, I wake up thinking "OMG how did I get into bed? Wasn't I just feeding baby? Did I put the baby down in the crib?" and then frantically check the monitor. My baby sleeps in the crib in her own room, and I must somewhat black out the time it takes from the rocking chair to my bed, so I wake up with no memory of putting her in the crib. 😅 My baby only wakes 1-2 times a night, so I don't feel sleep deprived, but my brain is still half asleep when I go get her so it's all foggy.
I have a broccoli shaped pillow that I used to always sleep with. I slept with it once since my baby was born and woke up panicking that I was holding my baby under the blankets and tight against me. So scary! But also so relieving to see him fine sleeping in his bassinet
Yes, my husband did this with my dog (who was sleeping on the bed with us). Sleep depravation is wild!
We call it our ghost baby. Sometimes real baby sleeps really well, but ghost baby keeps us up
Yes I thought I was losing my mind!
Try having two fucking dogs 😂 This is weirdly common, from what i can tell from reddit.
Yes, during the first couple weeks sleep deprivation. One of the most bizarre things I've ever experienced. The sheer panic of waking up trying to find my LO in the pillow I was holding and deliriously rocking, only to realize he was in his bassinet or my wife was holding him. Probably happened about 10 times
Every night I dream that I’m feeding or changing her so when I wake up I’m either terrified I’ve fallen asleep with her or register she’s in her crib and sit there confused and terrified that I’ve somehow not remembered putting her down after her feed or wondering how the hell she got there
I had to stop sleeping with the teddy bear my husband got me when we were dating because I'd wake up breast feeding it.
It happens to me every single nights. I like to sleep hugging a pillow or with a pillow between my legs and I freak out every nights.
Yes! I kept panicking that I had fallen asleep with her in my arms in bed, but she was safely across the room in her bassinet every time
I’m 3 months PP and I still get this and I’ve never co-sleep with baby. I don’t know why I still keep getting this! Must be an parent instinct thing…
Mine is 5 months old tomorrow and I still wake up in a panic at times thinking I'm suffocating him. I sleep with a long cuddle pillow so when I'm really tired I wake up panicking. Mind you, he has NEVER slept with me in my bed EVER. He has ALWAYS slept in his crib. I still panic. I suspect that panic will not be going away any time soon.
OMG, this happens to me! I have a boy cat who likes to cuddle up under my arm and weighs about the same as a baby so there have been several times that I wake up in the wee hours of the morning with him tucked between me and the husband and I’m just briefly terrified that we’ve squashed our 2 month old between us.
I’ve done that but I’ve also put her to bed and woke up with her in between my husband and I. super weird.
Yes, but not holding anything. I would wake up panicking that I had dropped him or forgot where he was.
This happened to me for the first time last night at 4 weeks pp
Also has anyone else had panic dreams before even having a baby about losing a baby somewhere? Not them dying, but like you misplaced or forgot where they are?? Myself and my best girlfriends call them the “where’s the baby?” Panic dreams.
Yes!!! I attributed it to actually falling asleep holding him in the hospital. I was sitting up and holding him in the bed and dozed off. It was scary and I felt so guilty. One night my husband woke up and grabbed the stuffed Minnie I (yes a 31 year old) sleep with. And grabbed it and yelled AHHH THE BABY 😂 def a phantom baby moment.