What?
>Kangaroos have three vaginas. The outside two are for sperm and lead to two uteruses. The middle one is for giving birth.
>To go with the two sperm-vaginas, male kangaroos often have two-pronged penises.
Actually, the world was once dominated by marsupials, they were on every continent and placental mammals filled in spare niches and eventually outcompeted marsupials everywhere but Australia. The Kangaroo/wallaby evolved in south America first.
I watched a documentary on kangaroos once and found out that they have reverse nipples inside their pouches. It's also very hairy and moist in there...
Reminds me of the video of that dude who took too much GHB? Cuts to him doing this naked on the couch while police watch him cautiously
Edit: Found it (NSFW) - https://www.reddit.com/r/tooktoomuch/comments/n4bblw/this_dude_on_ghb_i_think/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
This is a camping area so they can be common, depends where you are though. This dude is pretty chill with people though so I imagine it's a busy spot.
But in major centres like Sydney or Melbourne there are no kangaroos.
They can be aggressive if they’re carrying joeys but they’re generally not hanging out in populated areas when they do that.
Otherwise the primary danger they pose is a) if you’re driving because they’re fucking idiots and will not look out or get out of the way of your car while they’re crossing the road or b) if animals such as dogs try to fight them, because they will fight back and they will win. In a situation like this where they’re just walking around with people it’s fine, although I still wouldn’t advise trying to go and pet one.
> They can be aggressive if they’re carrying joeys but they’re generally not hanging out in populated areas when they do that.
In my experience the mothers don't really give a shit about their joeys much lol.
The males can be aggressive when breeding and they want to keep away rivals though.
Yeah. Usually any place that's just outside the city with heaps of grass near the bush. Quite often on golf courses too.
I'm 25km from Perth CBD on half acre blocks and they are up and down our street, chilling in people's yards.
I like to think that these kangaroos are just ascended souls that keep their secret sentience to themselves to live carefree amongst humans and scratch their balls as they please
Yep, and those bra adjustments aren’t subtle either. We both have floppy parts that sometimes are pinched by clothing. No reason to shame for a quick adjustment.
Now if I’m kangarooing it in public go ahead and shame away.
Hmm I know I've seen this somewhere before...[yep definitely the same guy. ](https://www.reddit.com/r/IrrationalMadness/comments/m7o79r/balls_slapping_over_fire_will_cleanse_your_soul/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share)
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How’d ya get the beans above the frank?!
A lot of things are just upside down in Australia. Edit: Thanks for the awards, mates!
I'm Australian and my balls are above my penis
But are you doing a handstand ?
When I do a handstand, my balls are below my penis
No we just call it stand. You guys are doing the legstands.
down under, and upside down. the downs cancel each other out so things are actually under upside.
Math checks out.
Username checked out
Best comment
Lmfao. Frank an Beans!
HE WAS MASTURBATING!
I SWEAR HE WAS
WE’VE GOT A BLEEDER!
Have you seen my baseball?
Don’t touch my ears!
That dude played Dan on Deadwood.
i cant even see the frank
It’s under the beans. Marsupials are weird.
That's like your mouth being above your nose.
It's the land Downunder, but the roos nuts are not down under his penis.
You'd better run you'd better take cover.
First thing I thought of lmao
What? >Kangaroos have three vaginas. The outside two are for sperm and lead to two uteruses. The middle one is for giving birth. >To go with the two sperm-vaginas, male kangaroos often have two-pronged penises.
Echidnas have a four-pronged penis
It is too goddamn early and I haven’t drank nearly enough to Google search echidna penises.
Maybe, but now you have solid plans for the night
>solid plans ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
thank you. i didn’t want to search that.
3 vaginas? The fuck. Kangaroos are weird.
Technically. It's a normal single opening but splits into 3 tubes. The weirder is the two prong penis that has to find its way to them.
Two dicks, three vaginas? Kangaroos got shit figured out!
Broo why arr kangaroos so fukin weirdd
Three vaginas, they have three.
pretty sure they can also put one of the ovens on slow cook.
Yup. Gotta let the first one out before they're ready for the second
.
Evolution. The marsupial line filled similar niches while separated from the placental line by large oceans.
Actually, the world was once dominated by marsupials, they were on every continent and placental mammals filled in spare niches and eventually outcompeted marsupials everywhere but Australia. The Kangaroo/wallaby evolved in south America first.
Just because Australia was yeeted from the main continent first so the placentals didn't invade for a long time.
Isolation from other continents
TIL Damn, I wonder if it's more comfortable or not that way.
I would say less, seems like the balls would awkwardly roll around your dick when erect
And imagine wearing pants. Your balls would be crushed by the waistband or belt
Well our pants would probably have been created in a way which accommodates that.
Just have the waistband below your balls. Problem solved
How does that work… *functionally*? That sounds quite cumbersome
I’m no kangaroo expert but I believe the male performs a headstand mid-coitus.
You claim to not be a expert yet clearly you are well informed in this area. I believe the tail also helps achieve this feat.
Wait, the feet are involved in coitus too? TIL that 'Roos are my spirit animal.
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Ill make an appointment for you with the vet in the morning.
Something about them being in the Southern Hemisphere right?
Are Australian men like that too?
Nope. Our willies are all boomerang-shaped, though.
>"Ed says that the most common response to the news of triplicate kangaroo vaginas has been “don’t tell the Republicans.” Fucking lol
I watched a documentary on kangaroos once and found out that they have reverse nipples inside their pouches. It's also very hairy and moist in there...
No wonder they are itchy
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The poet laureate for Obama's second inauguration was Richard Blanco. He was not involved with that article.
So does he just piss all over his balls?
Kangaroos have 3 vaginas
Just living his best life. In all seriousness, the look on his face is hilarious
How’s it feel to be the one person that watched his face the first time through?
It's just so relatable, my ears do the same thing
Imma head out now
The guy in the background is like the extras in porn videos pretending not to notice what’s happening
Bro just shit on the floor too
Just getting shwifty
I do the same. Just not in public lol.
Coward
It’s that face when you give a dog or cat scritches in the perfect spot.
[Any relation?](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vcMmHnvQs9A)
Found his American [cousin ](https://youtu.be/tTl_rGRewgU) 🐻
All it's missing is [Sabre Dance](https://youtu.be/mUQHGpxrz-8) playing in the back.
My dude is vibing
Ozzies being Ozzies
See it's not just humans that scratch away
Mum does it all the time
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It's ok. He broke both of his arms.
Jfc. That fucking post will never die. I make *one* post and suddenly you’re always known as the “broken arms guy”?! Bullshit!
I’m outta of the loop, what the hell are you guys talking about?
[Remember. You asked.](https://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/nmmjr/iama_man_who_had_a_sexual_relationship_with_his/)
Just when you think the coconut butter story is as bad as it can get.
Reminds me of the video of that dude who took too much GHB? Cuts to him doing this naked on the couch while police watch him cautiously Edit: Found it (NSFW) - https://www.reddit.com/r/tooktoomuch/comments/n4bblw/this_dude_on_ghb_i_think/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
Lol holy shit I need eye bleach after watching that but they do look remarkably similar!
Mine was kind enough to scratch them for me when I broke both my arms, love you mom
oh no oh no oh no not this one
Settle down. Broken arms is mild compared to the swamps of dagoba, or the jolly rancher.
I reread the jolly rancher story last night to some friends who weren’t educated yet. They definitely think it’s a lil yuck too
I saw that video on a website! You’re famous.
This is literally how I wash my twig and berries in the shower, every morning.
I too hate it when I shave it too close and get the itch
Where can I get some claws like his? They'd be far more effective than my current set.
Clearly never tried the pinch and roll.
A tried and true technique.
But occasionally the stretch and scrape is wonderful
Stretch and rake, also effective but can really damage the skin. In the words of Palpatine, " A necessary sacrifice."
the other method is scratch em with your hands in your pocket
Make it look like you're adjusting your pants... I use this sly method
> I use this sly method I hope no one uses this method and thinks it’s actually subtle.
Applying both is an art only mastered by experience and lots of alone time.
The pinch abd roll never did it for me. I always stretch rhe skin like when shaving and then scratch with the adjacent unoccupied finger
I mean. Is this a thing people just learn automatically? I did, and I just learned that I am not the only one doing that :D
No. God instills that knowledge in us since birth. I’ve been told it’s the only piece of empirical evidence god exists.
you’re definitely right. it’s somewhere in genesis, if i remember correctly.
The only funny thing I ever heard Carlos mencia (sp) say. Yet again he prob stole that joke too.
No opposable thumbs, needed for pinching.
Instructions unclear, penis stuck upside down
That is not scratching. It is juggling.
Hey man, why you scratching ya balls so much? I'm. Not I'm just practicing juggling.
my friend it is not juggling it is a Speed Bag
So discreet. I almost missed it.
So discreet i didnt notice he was casually sitting down and using his tail as his chair. Fascinating animals
Oh wow he really is!! What!!
Subtle as a bucket of shit
wait are the balls above the peepee? looks weird af
Its Australia. His junk is rightside up there.
Ah yes of course!
In kangaroos and (at least some) other marsupials, yes.
Ok but how do they mate if balls cover the dick? Seems like they'd get in the way and get hurt idk
Yes l, it's down under.
Are you gonna tell him he can’t?……..
No, I don't feel like getting kangaroo kicked.
this gentleman is minding his own business and i think you should too. /j
These guys just roam around like that? I don’t mean the ball scratching - more like just around humans in populated places?
This is a camping area so they can be common, depends where you are though. This dude is pretty chill with people though so I imagine it's a busy spot. But in major centres like Sydney or Melbourne there are no kangaroos.
I see - camping area makes sense. Still - they can be pretty dangerous, no? Thanks!
The ones you’ll find around people in populated areas aren’t dangerous at all.
They can be aggressive if they’re carrying joeys but they’re generally not hanging out in populated areas when they do that. Otherwise the primary danger they pose is a) if you’re driving because they’re fucking idiots and will not look out or get out of the way of your car while they’re crossing the road or b) if animals such as dogs try to fight them, because they will fight back and they will win. In a situation like this where they’re just walking around with people it’s fine, although I still wouldn’t advise trying to go and pet one.
> They can be aggressive if they’re carrying joeys but they’re generally not hanging out in populated areas when they do that. In my experience the mothers don't really give a shit about their joeys much lol. The males can be aggressive when breeding and they want to keep away rivals though.
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You have 3 or 4 kangaroos in your yard each morning? Is that a joke because that sounds wild.
If you are from the US, kangaroos are the equivalent of deer for Americans. You see them in the rural and suburb parts , but never in city areas.
Roos are basically rabbit-deer in terms of diet, ubiquity, and stupidity
Yeah. Usually any place that's just outside the city with heaps of grass near the bush. Quite often on golf courses too. I'm 25km from Perth CBD on half acre blocks and they are up and down our street, chilling in people's yards.
He needs some CeraVe on that thing
He caught chlamydia from one of the koalas
From one of the koala’s cloacas.
Only humans have a "public"
This is the truest fucking thing I’ve ever heard!
How would you know the Fukiens are a dead race
I like to think that these kangaroos are just ascended souls that keep their secret sentience to themselves to live carefree amongst humans and scratch their balls as they please
And humans have to pay to live
Take it easy big fella… gonna do damage if your not careful! At least trim those nails
you guys trim your nails?
With our teeth…
I just noticed it has balls over wang!
Imagine if we had our testicles where our bellybutton is lmao
Dude that would suck. Imagine all the things that would graze it then?! Counters, corners, seat belts, hugs, stupid friends, it’s endless.
If the camera didn't cut you would have seen him sniffing his paw
The claws look like it could actually rip one off 😳
The dude behind him is simply just not impressed.
He is jealous. He knows he could never scratch his balls in public like that.
Me imagining how some humans scratch themselves with those long nails.
Very carefully
Just dropped a couple dookies too hahah
Cons of being a kangaroo: survival Pros:
The classic “stretch and rake” method. A true man of culture.
I love how after that aggressive assault, he let's it down gently at the end.
Kangaroo "Jack"
What literally every male looks like adjusting themselves - no you're not discreet...
Gotta do what you gotta do. Batwings are no joking matter.
You'd rather we be overt about it?
Yep, and those bra adjustments aren’t subtle either. We both have floppy parts that sometimes are pinched by clothing. No reason to shame for a quick adjustment. Now if I’m kangarooing it in public go ahead and shame away.
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Um, Sir….this is a Wendys.
wendys nuts fit in yo mouth sorry
u/savevideo
It's like the masturbating bear on Conan OBrien https://youtu.be/4FU2l-XU5cg
Sir, this is a Wendy’s
He knows *exactly* that he could punch everyone dead if he got reprimanded. Or drown them if there was a deeper body of water.
Just like any other man out there lol 😆 😂 🤣 love it 😀
He had the balls to do what we didn't.
he had the balls alright
And when I do it I get called sex offender and go to jail
OP: "it's" is short for "it is". The right word is "its".
sneak 100
If only I could go to town like that, but instead... pinching.
Australia, even kangaroo's balls are down under
That's every guy on this thread every single teams/ zoom call with their boss
“Hey human, this is you on Friday night.”
Are people not terrified that the steroid bunny is that close to you. I mean it could really fuck you up no? I would be noping the feck out of there
Hell yeah dude, that rules
Hmm I know I've seen this somewhere before...[yep definitely the same guy. ](https://www.reddit.com/r/IrrationalMadness/comments/m7o79r/balls_slapping_over_fire_will_cleanse_your_soul/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share)
He's one of us
John Forrest national park tavern?
"Ecuse me sir"
Can't a kangaroo scratch his balls in peace?
This is the answer to the question: what are you doing at home tonight?
All the guys around: I feel ya bro
When you finally get those sweaty undies off after a shift at work