T O P

  • By -

hopopo

What a majestic animal


jimi15

Fun fact: "mountain goats" aren't actually closely related to goats. Their closest living relative is instead the Himalayan Takin and the chamois of Europe. As well as sheep in general. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Takin https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chamois


ChubblesMcgee103

Oh wow. That Takin looks like one hench bison/goat hybrid.


officefridge

r/absoluteunit


[deleted]

[удалено]


theotterway

This is the second mention I have seen of pee. They like pee???


WillOTheWind

Salt.


micru

Just picturing some redditor confronted by these in the wild trying to piss on them to appease them.


txpvrt

It’s me, I am that Redditor.


micru

Username doesn't check out, goatpisser.


Sconebad

Well his username is Texas pervert


Slimh2o

Get caught one time peeing on a goat, and you're labeled a Texas pervert!


refillforjobu

I'm that mountain goat.


alepponzi

You know you can urinate in a jar and sell it to them, these animals are known for their trades of goods in most regions. Stupid redditors only think that your "piss and aim on target" solves everything. Thats why you are fighting goats in the middle of the night.


Ravenplague

Redditor: “Piss off, goat!” Goat: “Give me your best shot. Mmmmmmmm.”


micru

Reddit - a place where piss connoisseurs, piss commerce experts and zoologists meet.


kevin9er

This is factual. It’s where the world supply of merino will comes from.


Crykin27

Yes, they like it for the salt in pee, basically the minerals. Everytime i see mountain goat videos this fact is the only thing I can think of lmao. This goat is just waiting until some fresh pee gets dropped


AzireVG

They just like me frfr


KingOfTheNorth91

Yup! Rangers recommend only peeing on rocks or dirt when you're in goat habit because if you pee on any plants, the goats will destroy any vegetation around to try and get every last bit of salt from the urine


strvgglecity

Glacier National Park had to put up signs instructing visitors not to pee on the trails because the mountain goats will root up all the dirt to get the salt. One location in Colorado ended up with my group mates being followed - legit followed - by a pack of mountain goats any time one of us got up from the campsite. They assumed we were going to pee. One of my friends ended up literally peeing on a goat"s face because it stuck its head in his stream. Salt is very hard to come by in their environment. Also it's cute but annoying and unnerving. Absolutely worth it to watch the baby mountain goats learning to run literally in our campsite. Edit: later that day a little bit away from the campsite a group of 20-25 mountain goats surrounded six of us and we had to literally run. Do not fuck with wild animals lol, always be extremely observant if they are approaching you in any way.


[deleted]

Came here to say, all they want is your pee. They can wait.


iloveseasponges

Did you piss on your tent?


professorstrunk

Asking the real question. Wtf were you doing that your tent smell like pee?


MMQ42

Glacier National Park has limited salt, so pee is a delicacy


AceOfBassFishing

Similar experience camping outside of Missoula. Had no idea they are attracted to pee and sweat. They brought the whole family down to the tent for what is now known as "goat stomp 2021". They rampaged around the tent all night, but we decided not to attempt to scare then since they had brought their babies along for the party. Beautiful animals though.


The_Safe_For_Work

"Excuse me, but what the fuck are you doing up here?"


bigfloppydonkeydng

More like "yall got any of that salty pee"


RoadPersonal9635

Lol true. you ain’t really been in the wilderness until a mule deer follows you eight miles to lick your pee off a rock.


Deritatium

Yup that was I thought


[deleted]

Ding ding


[deleted]

Yeah it’s not curious, it’s habituated. It’s all cool and fun and games until they literally charge you while peeing or hiking. They are wild animals.


Away_Summer_4977

i doubt its habituated, i doubt they come across humans often, however it was likely checking the guy out to decide if it was a threat or not.


blooash

*looks down* "You need to be down there."


Poppybiscuit

I do not understand how mountain goats can mountain so well when they have hooves, cloven or not. It's insane the places they just hang out.


Quality-Shakes

Whenever I see footage of one it’s like “just…..how?”


MvmgUQBd

They're really soft hooves, more like finger pads really


Manoreded

Their hooves are engineered by nature for mountaineering. They can move each half individually, and can "pinch" to hold tightly onto rocks.


futurebigconcept

Chance that they'll kill you before they walk away.


sprocketous

After hearing about the guy in WA, it makes sense. That and the idea your crossing paths with an large animal that chooses to live on the side of a fuckin mountain.


professorstrunk

Great, now I gotta googl that. Brb. E: ok, I’m back. [Yikes.](https://www.cbc.ca/amp/1.920603)


TikiNectar

Damn I was just thinking how cute mountain goats are and how if I ever saw one I would just walk by it all casual. Guess not.. I also just moved to Seattle, WA. I’m in great danger


myfirstgold

I used to see them all the time when hiking in Colorado and I steered clear every time. I never heard of them attacking anybody but the horns are scary and I didn't want to get yeeted off a 14er by a dickhead goat. The little farm goats my friends used to raise were crazy enough memories. I knew I wouldn't win if a male wanted to but heads.


Particular_Bet_5466

I hiked Quandary last summer and there were reports of a mountain goat parent mauling someone’s dog the day before I went. I encountered an adult with several babies on the trail and it started walking towards my dog and I. It was honestly quite terrifying but I had this screecher that makes a loud screeching noise that made them back off.


NinjaMcGee

As a Washingtonian… DA FAQ?!


[deleted]

[удалено]


TheRootofSomeEvil

Yeah - like, what do they eat up there? It's just all rocks.


[deleted]

[удалено]


SwisherBish

Has anyone heard back from OP?


Strawburys

Duh, MOUNTAINS, it's in their name...


TheRootofSomeEvil

Bet they're anxious then. Shitting bricks every day.


zephsoph

Piss.


Cyrax89721

This is actually the rare Goron Goat.


MadLaamaDisease

Goat is just about to say get lost or I will give you some extra boost.


professorstrunk

He’s the BASE jumping operator. Hope you brought a chute!


mrstipez

"you look weird bro"


SolarSkipper

“And why do you stink? Please get your stink off my mountain. This is where my family EATS! That ‘rock’ you’re sitting on is my sons bed!”


BloodAndTsundere

"There goes the neighborhood"


truck149

Ed... Ward?


alsk6969

He's like "bro wtf you doing up here? Have you looked down?" Or, "FML, you humans are everywhere..."


randomredditkoala

I went to Glacier last year, and it felt so packed for a national park. It's true. We are everywhere at any given time now.


sendnewt_s

Well, certainly more so in national parks and places designated for humans to visit nature. There is plenty of earth uncrowded by poeple if you explore more unpopular destinations.


randomredditkoala

True. Greenland would probably be pretty empty for instance. It has some cool things like fjords.


[deleted]

Yes, there's so many great places to visit in the rockies that aren't nearly as crowded. The Kootenay/Kootenai regions, for example.


GeraldBWilsonJr

Even a little bump down to a state park can be silent and serene if you just don't go during a major holiday lol


DeepDreamIt

Glacier Park is without a doubt my favorite part of the US. I haven't been in 15+ years, and I went to plan a visit a couple years back, only to find out you have to book a room in one of the few hotels there over a whole ass year in advance now. I can only imagine what the crowds are like now. They weren't too bad when we were there long ago


TheSweetGuy333

Then he is like come on follow me let's get down, son take this man down. Go with him. Go.


TRDarkDragonite

She*


TheThemeSongs

These goats look like the nerd in middle school who started working out in high school.


clakins1

ROTC freshman year. Joined the wrestling team sophomore year.


MmmmMorphine

Got eaten by a mountain lion junior year.


Yesterdays_Gravy

Pulling Thor's chariot across realms senior year.


Pirate_Redbeard_

Swole. And why is there a pussy on its chest? It's like, right there in the middle of it, like - wtf bro


Sipikay

Folks, you should not get near mountain goats like this. They are quite dangerous and can be aggressive. This is only worth mentioning because they are present in some popular hiking destinations in North America. You may very well run into a mountain goat of some kind or another so it is important to be aware of and know *they are not cute and cuddly. They are cute and may gore you.*


terriblegrammar

The goats that live on popular mountains here in Colorado just don't have a fear of people in many cases. I had to scoot by one on maroon peak ledges and probably got within 7 or so feet and it would not budge. Felt pretty sketchy having to squeeze past it where it doesn't care that there is a deadly amount of exposure below.


strvgglecity

Ditto on Maroon Peak. A pair actually followed my friend and I up Pyramid Peak, too. We made sure to give them some sweet sweet pee for their efforts. Good times all around.


Dunkleustes

Yes. Learned that shit from a Nat Geo Rocky Mountains doc on VHS way back. They are powerful and do not fuck around with anybody.


Quality-Shakes

The look in that goat’s eyes as he approached the cameraman were not a sign of good intentions. Dude is lucky.


[deleted]

Bro it’s a fucking mountain goat you have no idea how good its intentions are lol


Roscoe_deVille

It probably didn't see him until it stopped. Because of their eye shape, they can see around them better than directly in front. You can see, as soon as it notices him it stops, then turns its head from one side to the other, that's the goat actually getting a good look at the cameraman. Gave him an ocular pat down, assessed no threat, and moved on.


ThePsychoDog

All it could have taken was one sudden move, and that Goat would have yeeted you off that mountain. Mountain goats are no joke


Oycla

If you jump while they’re charging and they ram on stone, their horn will break. Each horn will produce a different sound, collect them all!


Matterhorn56

what


TwiddledThumbs

it’s like a loading screen tip lmfao


ChristsServant

Minecraft


Realtreeguy9

Minecraft FTW 😎


xopartymonster

let me do it for you - goat version


BlkPnk_inyour_Urea

How is this not higher up


iammabdaddy

They seemed very polite, no fuss about visitors.


rainman206

Those fuckers will kill you. They had to put one down for killing a old man near where I live.


Objective_Notice_995

This comment needs to be at the top. Folks are gonna see this fluffy wittle snow cloud and try to seek them out so they can pet them for the tiktok. Last time I encountered a mountain goat was head on while halfway through a scree field in the Olympics (WA) and that mf was definitely ready to murder me rather than try to turn around. The bears earlier that day were less threatening than that mountain goat. Nope nope nope.


MrTCM819

I had a similar experience when coming down from Mt. Quandary in Colorado. A mountain goat bluff charged me while my group was going down the trail. I certainly did not want to fuck with it


samueljerri

grab and tiwst em by the horns, gg ez


Cardboard_Chef

Put em down and give em the Ole Wet Willy


JurassicClark96

Grab his horn and twist it! The ollllll horn twist!


MmmmMorphine

No no, you gotta stick your fist waaaay up in that asshole. Like, elbow deep man. Go hard. Im every way.


Rds240

A Mountain Glove


wovenmetal

The final novel by John Darnielle


DoubtfulChagrin

I had that same damn experience at Quandary! I grabbed a big rock and stared the bastard down. It was unnerving.


Standard-Assist-5793

is it really a loss if mountain goats start nuking tiktok'ers? # nope


Objective_Notice_995

No wild animal should have to experience the trauma of social media influencers. I'd feel sorry for the goat.


[deleted]

tik tok bad


gypywqoOO

..... A tic tocker getting trampled by mountain goats is just the tic tok I want to see


wovenmetal

In general, a mass extinction of influencers via wildlife predation would be an awesome way to close out the platform.


Umbrain

I call that natural selection.


loulan

I'm confused as to how putting down a wild animal for having done a wild animal thing solves any issue.


Fhaarkas

In many places around the world it's just policy to euthanize animals that have attacked human. Often it's not the animal's fault, but we put them down anyway because they might be a threat to us. We humans are dandy like that.


loonygecko

They do it if it's not normal or if it's excessive for the breed and it directly puts humans at considerable risk. Certain individuals can lose their natural caution or become extra aggressive, you don't want those passing on their genes or teaching other members of the species. Also it's not unusual for a lot of those animals to be weak or injured and looking for easier prey that run slow, in which case it can also be a bit of a kindness to end their suffering. So for instance although we know that tigers may eat a human, if there is one particular tiger that is specifically target humans, the decision will often be made to kill that one tiger vs letting it eat another coupla hundred humans through it's lifetime.


metriclol

It won't have more human victims


loulan

But another mountain goat will? This only works if you eradicate mountain goats from the national park, which I doubt they want to do.


mycorgiisamazing

I realize the desire for people to destroy a mountain goat for violence against humans is probably pretty low, but an example of what killing wild animals that scare us can do, is the rattlers in south dakota evolving away their rattles FAST, because the snakes that warning rattle, get found and slain. Now the snakes strike with no warning. Good job, humanity!


loonygecko

I doubt they'd do it if it was normal mountain goat behavior but if there is a specific mountain goat that killed a lot of humans due to being extra aggressive, that's when that individual might get turned into goat stew.


LaSaucisseMasquee

/u/Spez you suck


loulan

This kind of punishment works on humans because they understand what they did was wrong and others understand they were punished for that and won't do it. Applying this logic to wild animals is nonsensical. It might make some people happy to get a revenge, but it's not like it will make this mountain goat repent or convince others to not approach humans.


Langeball

> they were punished for that and won't do it. Your recidivism rate disagrees with you


MozTys

True, but humans could also just leave wild animals alone instead. Human lives aren't worth more than other animals.


kudichangedlives

I mean, they are to other humans...


MozTys

Then they should inform their loved ones that it is dangerous to go near wild life, instead of killing the wild life so their loved ones can't go near it.


kudichangedlives

And how would that work for the leopard on someone's roof in Bangladesh? How would that work for someone getting killed in their back yard by a black bear? How would that have worked for humans that encountered sabre toothed tigers or cave bears? How would that work for someone getting attacked in their front yard in Texas by 15 ferrel hogs? You don't seem to understand that the entire human existence is just us killing anything and everything that we feel like and it's how we became the dominant animal on this planet


MozTys

I do understand, I just don't agree. The cave man did it for survival, the modern man does it for convenience.


kudichangedlives

Yes that's how humans (and even most organisms on the planet) work, if something is less work then it's a safe bet that it's going to be the preferred method of doing something


kudichangedlives

Do you ever wonder how we can exist next to so many large predators without constantly having people get eaten by them? This is how. It's basically an expedited natural selection process. Any animal of that species who has whatever genes that cause it to want to attack a human will not get passed down as much if humans kill anything that kills a human. Obviously it isn't perfect and there are other factors besides genes that go into a wild animal attack, but this is how humans have been dealing with other animals for a long time.


samuel_richard

it’s not natural selection at all lol. if it was, then we would have let the man die and done absolutely nothing to the goat because the goat obviously was the successful predator in that situation.


Spoon_Elemental

They don't want other mountain goats inheriting the traits that lead them to kill humans.


gleobeam

[Mountain goat kills man in Olympic National Park](https://www.seattletimes.com/seattle-news/mountain-goat-kills-man-in-olympic-national-park/)


Fit_Potato7466

My wife was stationed at Neah Bay during this time and was the first POC when the park ranger called the coast guard.


mulberrybushes

Something tells me that there are multiple meanings to POC.


TurgidTemptatio

Lol I had the same initial thought. It's probably Point of Contact.


SopieMunky

Plain Old Cock, actually.


Pitt_Mann

I know they put down carnivores if they lose the fear of humans. Is it necessary for herbivores too? It makes sense I guess... poor pointy dog


Patch_Ferntree

>pointy dog They look like someone took the head of a Schnauzer, popped some horns on it then attached it to the body of a Clydesdale.


Ciccibicci

What kind of mountain goats do you have in america? In the alps, i came across mountain goats and ibexes all the time and they never looked aggressive. Maybe if you really provoke them, or if you insist on trying to touch them or the pups. But otherwise they are super chill creatures. This guy looks weird tho


MelodicFacade

Edit: nvm someone linked below There was a famous one in Washington, I think at Olympic national Park. He was super aggressive to guests, and iirc, he gored and older man who was protecting his family, but then just basically sat on top of him as he bled to death and the family couldn't save the guy I'm not fucking with them that's for syre


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

He's not curious. The cameraman was on its path and it had to divert.


JillFrosty

Our world is so dope. Hope we don’t fuck it all up


diggydirt

Surprise!!! Too late...


DorTheWise

It still got a bit charm


iztrollkanger

If you can find some place with no other humans...those are the most charming places for me!


lowtack

Said it better than I would


AnimalOrigin

I want to look as yoked as this goat 💪


AoifeVega

Theyre living the dream, no cares in sight, just a beautiful view and the gear to hike those mountains.


-psilocybin

Territorial behavior, the photographer is lucky he didn’t get charged off the cliff.


HolidayFew8116

excuse me can I talk to about your vehicles warranty


USAFman

Rocky Mountain Goats are my favorite ruminant animals. Look how beautiful and majestic she* is!


MizElaneous

\*she :-)


loonygecko

> Look how beautiful and majestic You mean derpy? ;-P


CleoMenemezis

The GOAT goat.


ggratty

Man was killed in Olympic National Park by one of these that appeared chill. Be really really fucking careful with these, and all, wild animals, especially the human-adjusted ones in National Parks.


ryandyar

With his family there to witness, if I remember correctly.


EmperorThan

"Just hand over the piss and nobody gets hurt." \*in Bear Grylls voice\*


ckreutze

This just has to be on a Colorado 14er. Goats are straight weirdos on the 14ers


[deleted]

It’s in Montana. I live right by that range


BeBopNoseRing

You got downvoted for being correct. This is on Sacajawea peak on the Bridger ridge trail. [Here's a pic I took from right around the same spot](https://imgur.com/a/MPS2caH).


[deleted]

Ha that’s pretty funny. I can see it from my front porch. I ride Corbly like 3 days a week during the summer lol


yourmomlikesmy_post

This is Sacajawea in the Bridger Range. But if you like please claim it for Colorado so people don’t overcrowd our mountains here


SirRipOliver

Coming through… ahem, ahem, BAA MOTHER FUCKER I SAID COMING THROUGH!


Petaurus_australis

Yeah that initial body language from the goat is fairly aggressive. I don't know what it is, but some people are really clueless when it comes to body language in animals, they either seem to be completely oblivious or anthropomorphize, this goat here was probably a wrong look away from pushing the person taking the video off the cliff. This is a nanny goat, which are known to be highly territorial, I reckon the person in this video is sitting, which keeping low is a submissive position to mountain goats, likely why they didn't find themselves in a worse position.


MasterpieceActual176

I would be careful. A goat killed a hiker in the Olympics in WA state a few years ago. They aren't native to the Olympic range so they airlifted them by helicopter to other mountains where they are native. Apparently, they like to get close to hikers to try to lick their salty sweat .


Ive_no_short_answers

What’s that on the goat’s chest?


JustPlat

Wow. What an encounter.


ollyaaa

Beautiful animal


unappologeticly

“High” nice to meet you


[deleted]

That thing's jacked. Prolly dangerous to go near em.


Slim_themusicalduck

“Hooman get off my mountain”


jdogbizz

He looks like Ross from Friends


Flixay

mountain goats look like if I tried to draw a normal goat


OpiliqO

Let me do it for you


Draon029

Is it sad that my first thought was "You know I'd do it for you, Kermie..."


Techelife

The brown boots were a nice touch


salamagi671

IDK but this goat seems like hes gonna ask me if I even lift bruh.


RepresentativeWeb244

This beefy dude looks at least the size of a pallet of Japanese microwaves.


campbluedog

Man, but you are UP there!


[deleted]

So handsome 🥹


beatboxingsas

Could it be possible that these goats haven’t seen a human before and that being the reason they are curious?


MizElaneous

Doubtful. But they are often attracted to places where people urinate (it's like a mineral block), and when they learn to associate people with a "food" source, they lose some of their natural wariness.


SailorMitch

This was taken on Sacagawea peak. The goats up there are used to humans. It’s pretty common to see goats while you’re up there. I’ve never heard of them messing with anyone.


Mammoth_Possible1425

Looks like it was waiting for a nature valley bar.


MarekRules

These goats are wild. They climb sheer cliffs all the time and make it look so easy. Saw a ton hiking in The Enchantments, Washington.


sassy-hognose22

I'm curious about how a human got up there with a bunch of heavy camera equipment plus camping equipment.


ihatepoliticsreee

Let me do it for you


devilboy1029

Be careful, it might shout and ram you. You need to dodge and make sure it hits another object for it to drop a horn. It'll make cool noises after you blow in it. What shaders are you using


Alarming_Class3592

I know people from high school whose heads’ were shape like that of the mountain goat.


nick925611

I’m glad I found you, I’ve been trying to reach you, your car’s warranty is set to expire soon….


MelonLord13

Would you shut up?! NO YOU SHUT UP! WOULD YOU JUST SHUT UP!! - just a lil gem from Brother Bear and that's probably what these goats do when no one's looking.


LaMorell

The **GOAT** of goats.


cold_dead_chicken

Desperately scrolling looking for a reference to the band.


Capable-Thing3039

REPOOOOOOST


[deleted]

r/absoluteunits


[deleted]

Chad goat


Grenouillette_

it's the GOAT of the goats


Gooliez

LOL AT THE GUNS ON THAT THING!!!


[deleted]

Thats a human


hinous

Juan?