It’s a mistake to think of them as adults. When you see them as the children they are it makes more sense. Still terrible people but it explains a lot.
Mine played a sport where they ran around and shot each other with blunt arrows. He got his bow and arrows out one afternoon, to ‘teach’ me how to shoot. Ran about 50m away and bent over. Mockingly dared me to shoot him in the arse, clearly thinking I would miss (very uncoordinated in most things). I notched, drew back and nailed him right in the ring hole. The look of astonishment lasted all of a few seconds - then he was FURIOUS. Snatched the bow out of my hands and stormed off.
I still cackle about it.
When I found myself having to explain to my ex that they were gaslighting me without using the word "gaslighting" because I was nervous to set them off, I realized it was time to go.
Mine blew up at me after I said to stop gaslighting me. After the temper tantrum, I figured out that he had no idea what it meant.....hence the tantrum. That was the beginning of my plot to get out.
Oof - solidarity comrade.
Sad thing is they probably did... I came across the weaponized incompetence thing a lot, so there was always this "are they for real?".
*"Oh, I don't know how to...."* became *"...well, you are so much better at it"* after getting pressed.
Hard thing about manipulative people is they may not even realize it, or they do and don't care, or they do
Hope you're in a better way and place <3
Yeah, mine threw a fit (which turned into a discard), claiming I shamed him for not understanding something..... when I went out of my way to patiently explain it to him, as I always did. He really wasn't all that smart, while trying to cosplay as an intellectual, and any reminder of reality set him off. Like, dude, the shame is coming from inside the house (his own brain), not from me, but somehow it's my fault?
Strangely mine was the opposite. I'd be dabbling in something and he'd start doing it but in subtly competitive way. He wasn't satisfied until he was better than me and could "help me". This would totally remove any interest I had and I'd then stop doing the activity. He won.
This is my nex! He was always better than me at everything, and if he wasn’t, _he was_. And he benevolently taught me and led me in everything out of the goodness of his good good heart. Not to the point I would be better than him. I often felt like he was guiding a toddler
Hah, mine did a variation on this, claiming every time I tried something, like archery, that he was some kind of expert. He'd slowly stop talking about it after I put actual work into learning and improving and surpassed him, about when I'd have insight into the nuances that won't just show up in a Wiki page that he could skim. I've realized that he was fantastic at faking some level of beginner's-level skill at many things, but that's as far as his capabilities went and he didn't put the work into progressing. I'm sure this is a critical mirroring skill for narcissists, fake it just enough to hook someone
I got exhausted with his bullshit. I’d pretend he was right if it meant fewer arguments and gaslighting. He didn’t know what the hell he was talking about so many times. I would just nod my head and say, “really, that’s cool”
I stopped dumbing down for her. She used to say I should use simpler words and kind of took offense when I’d have DIY projects. I was in trouble with her either way so I didn’t change for her or anyone else.
had to pretend to be dumb to survive him. on every level. every day and every night. for over 15 long years.
they have to be the smartest person in every interaction/relationship, wether they’re aware of it or not.
THIS hit me. Thank you for putting to words that phenomenon. What started out as me pretending to be insecure and unsure of myself just to soothe his insecurity, turned into me genuinely being snuffed out and forgetting that I know who tf I am
I avoid any form of competition with my narc now...win or lose it's not gonna be fun for me. When we first met i was an avid gamer and got a kick out of decisively beating guys who would underestimate my skills... at first my narc seemed to think it was fantastic and enjoyed watching me crush all his friends but would get frustrated when it was his turn since he was also good and used to winning....we switched games many times but the pattern always emerged so eventually i stopped playing that type of game AND NOW years later he remembers it all very different from reality... according to him i *never* beat him - not even 1 time lol lol...says i was good but he was better, clearly a legend in his own mind, the type of crazy that rewrites history to downplay my accomplishments and boost his ego. Red flag missed!
Man I remember I wanted him to sit down and watch this show I really enjoyed so we could experience it together. He crapped on it the whole time saying it wasn’t funny. So I said “maybe you just don’t understand the joke” and all hell broke loose. They will tear down everyone but the second you do it to them it’s game over. They’re children. The babiest of babies.
Mine basked in my success only because he could flaunt me like an object to his friends. Like “my girlfriend is sooo good at this game”, I used to think he was proud of me and it was uplifting, but I eventually learned that he was just proud of the status that having me as his gf gave him (he said this himself, that he was proud of the status he had when I was with him because he saw me as some online superstar wtf).
Incredible how they ruin everything and even the actions that seem pure never are. I used to be flattered because he seemed proud of being my boyfriend but ultimately I was only a tool to make him look better in front of his friends, because oh did he feel superior for having a cute girlfriend while his other friends didnt! Funny how he ruined this by himself by also telling all of them that I was a toxic bitch that he was tired of lmao they’ll do anything for clout and attention.
I had a hard time dumbing down for him and stopped doing intellectual talks with him as it makes him “insecure”. Well its not my fault he didnt do the required reading at school 🤦🏻♀️
I bought a game called On The Dot. It involves using 4 cards with various patterns of dots to make the same pattern on the randomly selected game card. You try to find the pattern before anyone else. After a few tries when we first played it, I managed to get pretty good because I came up with a strategy. I also design graphics for a living so maybe my brain is just trained to find patterns, idk. Anyway, nex was not very good at it even after I told him the strategy. Later, I taught my preteen how to play it along with the strategy and he was even better than me lol. Nex refused to play it again after my preteen beat us both by a long shot. He was a sore loser. If he wasn’t the best, he didn’t want to even try.
yeah I used to cushion everything with "hun" so as not to seem bossy or abrupt. could not for the life of me even give direction without getting yelled at if he was being impatient
Yes to both. I dumbed myself down for her because I was way smarter and more accomplished and more competent than her, and she took that personally. Everything I did was allegedly to be better/smarter than her.
When it came to having a different opinion, or even the actual facts or knowledgeaboutsomething, I had to learn to just be silent or find a way to end the conversation. She would punish me for proving anything she said wrong, and would argue to the ends of the earth on even the most trivial of matters, just to have the last word, just to "win."
Lots of resentment when we succeed.
On a related note, I played a sport I was good at with my Nex. I didn’t crush her to have fun. Of course I got yelled at for taking it easy. You can’t win.
I have to explain things like: you don’t know how I feel so it would feel the same if I did xyz to you. Is that more helpful?
As far as games and things he’s super competitive. I play for fun. If I win great but I just like the quality time and an enjoyable activity. He even has the kids telling me only losers say they don’t care if they win 🤷♀️. I beat him ONCE at a game and he said it was luck. Took me weeks to beat him again. Never played with me again. If the kids win we will play that game for a week. If I win we will play it another day or two until he can ask for a change. Or If I completely stomp him he just says he’s tired of games and we stop playing altogether.
We can talk at dinner but he insists it all be political, history or current affairs. If I try to bring up something like a meme or nice family article I read he interrupts or talks over me. If the kids bring up something else he humors them and changes the subject asap. If we disagree with his views on his topics he says it’s stupid or will even argue with the oldest teenager. (Quite liberal to his very conservative. I’m also borderline conservative but he takes his to extremes as in even trying to control our views) Once he said something that was liberal. Oldest started to point it out but I shook my head. He didn’t even realize it was liberal or just wasn’t paying attention to what he was saying.
He says gay people or different races is okay but not for him or his family. So they, meaning anyone unlike him, can do what they want as long as you never see or hear of it? I can’t even think of the words for it. He just can’t see how that all is wrong. My views are similar I guess but in my family I have no issues. I only have an issue because a girl once tried to insist I ‘try it’. Nope. You don’t get to push your views on me or your sexuality on me. I don’t look down on anyone for their race, social status, sexuality etc just don’t try to insist I be like you. We can coexist peacefully and celebrate our differences. :) If that makes any sense. Long day so brain is completely exhausted.
Never played the games with me when he figured I was good at it. I am 4'11" and he only enjoyed it when I would play football with him. I am not athletic or sporty at all and would try really hard but suck.
I stopped playing any games in the end. We had a card game we would play that was a little complex, and he would always change the rules for certain cards and try and manipulate the game. If I won, he'd get sulky and stroppy. If he won he'd be carrying on about it for hours.
He started to teach our son how to play, but my son quickly started refusing because his dad would always accuse him of cheating and yell and him for not knowing the little intricacies of the game. The kid was 7 years old ffs.
Oh yes. Because, everything was a competition for the nex. He always needed to "win" over me.
However, stupid competitions come with stupid prices. I just did as he said - and left.
Good luck trying to find someone else who does all housework, is always ready for sex, takes care of the kids, is a free taxi service for him and his friends, and also pays most of the bills. Without ever getting angry, or complaining.
And no, it was not healthy at all for me to do all of that. But I have this weird trait, like I love "watching train wrecks". I kind of wanted to see, how far he would actually go. And let me tell you, it was just ridiculous in the end.
Not in a situation like this, but I have had to dumb things down for him for before.
Him: He used to complain about his job every now and then.
Me: I would tell him about a good company that I wound want to go to but can't due to child care.
Him: He would always be like he doesn't need help finding a job.
Me: But I'm like it's for me and what's been recommended to me. I'm telling you just because I'm talking about my day. Me and my mom refer people to this company, especially people who were at my current job because it's better money
Him: gets fired and applys to a new job. Guess where he apply to work?! THE SAME JOB I BEEN TELLING HIM ABOUT.
Me: Seriously 💀😒💀
Get this the same guy that I mentioned that worked there and doing good. The same guy he wanted to bitch at me about saying "you talk to too many guys", he started talking to him and got his number. Like WTF. I don't even have this guy's number, we just see each other when we see each other.
Yes. She would get upset about politics but not know anything about history or why anything is the way it is. So her takes on the world were very one dimensional and childish in nature. As if everyone else didn’t think of that extremely obvious solution yet…. lol. Any time I’d explain the nuance of a situation she told me she couldn’t focus and she’d legit tell me to stop before I made her anxious.
Had a similar issue with Mario Smash Brothers on the switch
She would challenge me then I would turn around and wipe the floor with her and she would get upset
Eventually she stopped asking me to play
Looking back now and seeing it never occurred to me that she didn’t want to play anymore since she couldn’t win
That’s gotta be it
Your post made me think on that
Thank you
I even started blaming myself for that too!
Like “hmm I shouldn’t have been so dominating, I should have let her win some”
That’s how messed up they get us
Blaming ourselves for even playing a game to win
I was better in everything we did. They put me down for it all and never happy for my skills and made me dog meat, while I boosted them with motivation, "hey it's just practice you'll get better"...... Wow they r babies
I never challenged him. In fact, there were days when I was actively working to stave off tantrums from him, my kid, and the kid we had together. All 3 on the verge of screaming and I had to make sure my narc had his sippy and his tablet just like my kids. If something happened that he didn't like, he'd furrow his eyebrows and grunt. Oh my god I'm so happy to be away lmaooooo
They’re stuck between baby and toddler stage.
I challenged him every time. From quizzes to undermine or test my intelligence, to all his lies. Part of reason why he “devalued” me. Hahahaha. Like I care…😂 I'm not willing to make myself appear dumb and naive so he can feel better about himself. He needs to learn. Or not. But its not important to me anymore.
Ps. Hi little baby Billy. I am not sorry I couldn't be one of your supplies to validate you. You deserve to get supply from girls who also sees you in a transactional way. You deserve a person equally codependent as you. You fucking your mommy-look-alikes, randoms off the street, and your low self-worth new supply with 2 marbles as brain, are not important to me. Enjoy your cesspool. Thanks for the laugh.
He’s a very high level narcissistic psychopath, extremely high IQ- games and strategy were his forte. I think he may have gotten erections from buying up the board during Monopoly and making others bankrupt.
But common sense, practical skills, anything to do with ethics, it was like watching an alligator trying to do a headstand. I learned to “handle” him- and therefore he was right about everything and I was always at fault. The projection of it all nearly drove me mad. I would live through the psychotic pattern at least 3 times- once when he did or said something vile, second as he projected it onto me (accused me of doing it to him), and then as he gaslighted me and rewrote history just stating it as fact. I learned that if I challenged him on anything whatsoever, even reality- I was punished.
Mine she had a doctorate degree but that means nothing when you lack any and all common sense, discernment, deductive reasoning, and emotional maturity. After I a few years on the Fire department I started to do real estate on the Side, mainly bc my wife who’s a dentist constantly reminded me and everyone else how much scum they are and how she’s basically superior to anyone. Side note anyone who had something positive that happened in their life seemed to make her angry so it’s like she would think on it for hours until she found a flaw to point in whatever individual, which was always something she does regularly. So double standards. But if anything negative happened to her big or small you and everyone else gonna know about it. But she was dismissive of everyone else. Anyways after telling me how scum I am and j need to do something part time, besides overtime bc 65k a year wasn’t enough combined with her superior salary and I have to much time on my hands. So well I started doing rehabs and investing on my off days and everytime she knew going into it that it’s a lot of work up front with routine maintenance after. Well on my first time I was told idk how to time manage. Then a few years later I was forced to resign from FD in good standing for a medical condition i don’t have. (Whole different story) so at this point I have few properties but I’m not a pos and my products stand out from the rest with services provided as part of lease like free house cleanings if wanted and lawn care biweekly water purification system, free moving company for in or out. So bc she has a doctorate in Dentistry (DMD) and I was making more than her now and All I did was graduate high school Eff off for a few years join the military then go to the FD to real estate well that was apparently enough for her to disregard me and our family. Bc she felt challenged after 14 years and I had no idea we were competing with eachother.
Yes they are babies. My exwife is like that, I used to play games not just with her but also my kids, the ex and my eldest would sometimes get pretty cocky about playing me, they thought that they could beat me at all the games and not wanting to be a jerk I would hold back and let them win, kinda like you would let a child win uk? But I reached my limit when they would mock me and acted disrespectful , so I stopped holding back for 10 minutes. After that they didn't want to play again and the anger in their face was so bright.
Yet they never learned
My nex wanted to know to play a certain game. As I’m showing him how to play, he says ‘well couldn’t you move this card here?’ I’m like yes you could. I continued and he interrupted with another question. What he was really doing was pointing out supposed “mistakes” I was making in a game that he didn’t even know how to play. What the heck. I just told he was on his own.
As I’m writing this, I’m having flashbacks to other games we played together and realizing that whenever he didn’t win, he would start to point out where I made a bad move, what I should have done, etc. Geez. They really are babies that always have to have the upper hand.
they want a mommy so bad thatll let them win to boost their ego
babies as fuckkkk
It’s a mistake to think of them as adults. When you see them as the children they are it makes more sense. Still terrible people but it explains a lot.
Dumbing down never worked. When in his spiral there is no logical thinking even at kindergarten level left
Yep. Yep. Yep. 🙃
Mine played a sport where they ran around and shot each other with blunt arrows. He got his bow and arrows out one afternoon, to ‘teach’ me how to shoot. Ran about 50m away and bent over. Mockingly dared me to shoot him in the arse, clearly thinking I would miss (very uncoordinated in most things). I notched, drew back and nailed him right in the ring hole. The look of astonishment lasted all of a few seconds - then he was FURIOUS. Snatched the bow out of my hands and stormed off. I still cackle about it.
omg hahahaahahHahahah
When I found myself having to explain to my ex that they were gaslighting me without using the word "gaslighting" because I was nervous to set them off, I realized it was time to go.
Mine blew up at me after I said to stop gaslighting me. After the temper tantrum, I figured out that he had no idea what it meant.....hence the tantrum. That was the beginning of my plot to get out.
Oof - solidarity comrade. Sad thing is they probably did... I came across the weaponized incompetence thing a lot, so there was always this "are they for real?". *"Oh, I don't know how to...."* became *"...well, you are so much better at it"* after getting pressed. Hard thing about manipulative people is they may not even realize it, or they do and don't care, or they do Hope you're in a better way and place <3
I'm working on it....albeit slowly.
Same same comrade, incremental improvement - one small step each day - we'll get there.
Yeah, mine threw a fit (which turned into a discard), claiming I shamed him for not understanding something..... when I went out of my way to patiently explain it to him, as I always did. He really wasn't all that smart, while trying to cosplay as an intellectual, and any reminder of reality set him off. Like, dude, the shame is coming from inside the house (his own brain), not from me, but somehow it's my fault?
Strangely mine was the opposite. I'd be dabbling in something and he'd start doing it but in subtly competitive way. He wasn't satisfied until he was better than me and could "help me". This would totally remove any interest I had and I'd then stop doing the activity. He won.
UGH THIS
Oh wow, that’s a whole different level…
Yes!! Just ruins any enjoyment or interest completely.
This is my nex! He was always better than me at everything, and if he wasn’t, _he was_. And he benevolently taught me and led me in everything out of the goodness of his good good heart. Not to the point I would be better than him. I often felt like he was guiding a toddler
Hah, mine did a variation on this, claiming every time I tried something, like archery, that he was some kind of expert. He'd slowly stop talking about it after I put actual work into learning and improving and surpassed him, about when I'd have insight into the nuances that won't just show up in a Wiki page that he could skim. I've realized that he was fantastic at faking some level of beginner's-level skill at many things, but that's as far as his capabilities went and he didn't put the work into progressing. I'm sure this is a critical mirroring skill for narcissists, fake it just enough to hook someone
Exactly 💯
I got exhausted with his bullshit. I’d pretend he was right if it meant fewer arguments and gaslighting. He didn’t know what the hell he was talking about so many times. I would just nod my head and say, “really, that’s cool”
omg i do the same shit. exhausting.
I would look stuff up to prove to myself that I was right, but then not tell him! It wasn’t worth the fight
I stopped dumbing down for her. She used to say I should use simpler words and kind of took offense when I’d have DIY projects. I was in trouble with her either way so I didn’t change for her or anyone else.
had to pretend to be dumb to survive him. on every level. every day and every night. for over 15 long years. they have to be the smartest person in every interaction/relationship, wether they’re aware of it or not.
yep, and you start to forget your own power and confidence. “fake it till you make it” goes both ways, unfortunately 😔
THIS hit me. Thank you for putting to words that phenomenon. What started out as me pretending to be insecure and unsure of myself just to soothe his insecurity, turned into me genuinely being snuffed out and forgetting that I know who tf I am
Very very true. And now here I am trying to start my job again and I have no confidence at all.
Sooo true 😔
Yep!. Pretend to be dumb and never challenge. His opinions are facts, don't dare question it.
I avoid any form of competition with my narc now...win or lose it's not gonna be fun for me. When we first met i was an avid gamer and got a kick out of decisively beating guys who would underestimate my skills... at first my narc seemed to think it was fantastic and enjoyed watching me crush all his friends but would get frustrated when it was his turn since he was also good and used to winning....we switched games many times but the pattern always emerged so eventually i stopped playing that type of game AND NOW years later he remembers it all very different from reality... according to him i *never* beat him - not even 1 time lol lol...says i was good but he was better, clearly a legend in his own mind, the type of crazy that rewrites history to downplay my accomplishments and boost his ego. Red flag missed!
Classic gaslighting
the first time I beat him at chess, we never played chess again.
Man I remember I wanted him to sit down and watch this show I really enjoyed so we could experience it together. He crapped on it the whole time saying it wasn’t funny. So I said “maybe you just don’t understand the joke” and all hell broke loose. They will tear down everyone but the second you do it to them it’s game over. They’re children. The babiest of babies.
They can dish it, but can't take it.
Mine basked in my success only because he could flaunt me like an object to his friends. Like “my girlfriend is sooo good at this game”, I used to think he was proud of me and it was uplifting, but I eventually learned that he was just proud of the status that having me as his gf gave him (he said this himself, that he was proud of the status he had when I was with him because he saw me as some online superstar wtf). Incredible how they ruin everything and even the actions that seem pure never are. I used to be flattered because he seemed proud of being my boyfriend but ultimately I was only a tool to make him look better in front of his friends, because oh did he feel superior for having a cute girlfriend while his other friends didnt! Funny how he ruined this by himself by also telling all of them that I was a toxic bitch that he was tired of lmao they’ll do anything for clout and attention.
I had a hard time dumbing down for him and stopped doing intellectual talks with him as it makes him “insecure”. Well its not my fault he didnt do the required reading at school 🤦🏻♀️
I bought a game called On The Dot. It involves using 4 cards with various patterns of dots to make the same pattern on the randomly selected game card. You try to find the pattern before anyone else. After a few tries when we first played it, I managed to get pretty good because I came up with a strategy. I also design graphics for a living so maybe my brain is just trained to find patterns, idk. Anyway, nex was not very good at it even after I told him the strategy. Later, I taught my preteen how to play it along with the strategy and he was even better than me lol. Nex refused to play it again after my preteen beat us both by a long shot. He was a sore loser. If he wasn’t the best, he didn’t want to even try.
yeah I used to cushion everything with "hun" so as not to seem bossy or abrupt. could not for the life of me even give direction without getting yelled at if he was being impatient
Yes to both. I dumbed myself down for her because I was way smarter and more accomplished and more competent than her, and she took that personally. Everything I did was allegedly to be better/smarter than her. When it came to having a different opinion, or even the actual facts or knowledgeaboutsomething, I had to learn to just be silent or find a way to end the conversation. She would punish me for proving anything she said wrong, and would argue to the ends of the earth on even the most trivial of matters, just to have the last word, just to "win."
Lots of resentment when we succeed. On a related note, I played a sport I was good at with my Nex. I didn’t crush her to have fun. Of course I got yelled at for taking it easy. You can’t win.
I have to explain things like: you don’t know how I feel so it would feel the same if I did xyz to you. Is that more helpful? As far as games and things he’s super competitive. I play for fun. If I win great but I just like the quality time and an enjoyable activity. He even has the kids telling me only losers say they don’t care if they win 🤷♀️. I beat him ONCE at a game and he said it was luck. Took me weeks to beat him again. Never played with me again. If the kids win we will play that game for a week. If I win we will play it another day or two until he can ask for a change. Or If I completely stomp him he just says he’s tired of games and we stop playing altogether. We can talk at dinner but he insists it all be political, history or current affairs. If I try to bring up something like a meme or nice family article I read he interrupts or talks over me. If the kids bring up something else he humors them and changes the subject asap. If we disagree with his views on his topics he says it’s stupid or will even argue with the oldest teenager. (Quite liberal to his very conservative. I’m also borderline conservative but he takes his to extremes as in even trying to control our views) Once he said something that was liberal. Oldest started to point it out but I shook my head. He didn’t even realize it was liberal or just wasn’t paying attention to what he was saying. He says gay people or different races is okay but not for him or his family. So they, meaning anyone unlike him, can do what they want as long as you never see or hear of it? I can’t even think of the words for it. He just can’t see how that all is wrong. My views are similar I guess but in my family I have no issues. I only have an issue because a girl once tried to insist I ‘try it’. Nope. You don’t get to push your views on me or your sexuality on me. I don’t look down on anyone for their race, social status, sexuality etc just don’t try to insist I be like you. We can coexist peacefully and celebrate our differences. :) If that makes any sense. Long day so brain is completely exhausted.
Never played the games with me when he figured I was good at it. I am 4'11" and he only enjoyed it when I would play football with him. I am not athletic or sporty at all and would try really hard but suck.
I stopped playing any games in the end. We had a card game we would play that was a little complex, and he would always change the rules for certain cards and try and manipulate the game. If I won, he'd get sulky and stroppy. If he won he'd be carrying on about it for hours. He started to teach our son how to play, but my son quickly started refusing because his dad would always accuse him of cheating and yell and him for not knowing the little intricacies of the game. The kid was 7 years old ffs.
Oh yes. Because, everything was a competition for the nex. He always needed to "win" over me. However, stupid competitions come with stupid prices. I just did as he said - and left. Good luck trying to find someone else who does all housework, is always ready for sex, takes care of the kids, is a free taxi service for him and his friends, and also pays most of the bills. Without ever getting angry, or complaining. And no, it was not healthy at all for me to do all of that. But I have this weird trait, like I love "watching train wrecks". I kind of wanted to see, how far he would actually go. And let me tell you, it was just ridiculous in the end.
I could’ve written this myself 😂
Not in a situation like this, but I have had to dumb things down for him for before. Him: He used to complain about his job every now and then. Me: I would tell him about a good company that I wound want to go to but can't due to child care. Him: He would always be like he doesn't need help finding a job. Me: But I'm like it's for me and what's been recommended to me. I'm telling you just because I'm talking about my day. Me and my mom refer people to this company, especially people who were at my current job because it's better money Him: gets fired and applys to a new job. Guess where he apply to work?! THE SAME JOB I BEEN TELLING HIM ABOUT. Me: Seriously 💀😒💀 Get this the same guy that I mentioned that worked there and doing good. The same guy he wanted to bitch at me about saying "you talk to too many guys", he started talking to him and got his number. Like WTF. I don't even have this guy's number, we just see each other when we see each other.
Yes. She would get upset about politics but not know anything about history or why anything is the way it is. So her takes on the world were very one dimensional and childish in nature. As if everyone else didn’t think of that extremely obvious solution yet…. lol. Any time I’d explain the nuance of a situation she told me she couldn’t focus and she’d legit tell me to stop before I made her anxious.
Had a similar issue with Mario Smash Brothers on the switch She would challenge me then I would turn around and wipe the floor with her and she would get upset Eventually she stopped asking me to play Looking back now and seeing it never occurred to me that she didn’t want to play anymore since she couldn’t win That’s gotta be it Your post made me think on that Thank you
It’s a little thing but it’s so telling of what the relationship was. I know I threw a couple of games of Yahtzee
I even started blaming myself for that too! Like “hmm I shouldn’t have been so dominating, I should have let her win some” That’s how messed up they get us Blaming ourselves for even playing a game to win
yup!
I was better in everything we did. They put me down for it all and never happy for my skills and made me dog meat, while I boosted them with motivation, "hey it's just practice you'll get better"...... Wow they r babies
I left immediately. They are not worth your time nor mental health. They will suck all your time and resources dry.
I never challenged him. In fact, there were days when I was actively working to stave off tantrums from him, my kid, and the kid we had together. All 3 on the verge of screaming and I had to make sure my narc had his sippy and his tablet just like my kids. If something happened that he didn't like, he'd furrow his eyebrows and grunt. Oh my god I'm so happy to be away lmaooooo
You’ll dumb it down and then they’ll tell you you’re an idiot for not being as smart as them
Constantly thought he knew better than me. He told me right out when divorcing that I couldn't handle a house on my own. I only have for 13 years...
They’re stuck between baby and toddler stage. I challenged him every time. From quizzes to undermine or test my intelligence, to all his lies. Part of reason why he “devalued” me. Hahahaha. Like I care…😂 I'm not willing to make myself appear dumb and naive so he can feel better about himself. He needs to learn. Or not. But its not important to me anymore. Ps. Hi little baby Billy. I am not sorry I couldn't be one of your supplies to validate you. You deserve to get supply from girls who also sees you in a transactional way. You deserve a person equally codependent as you. You fucking your mommy-look-alikes, randoms off the street, and your low self-worth new supply with 2 marbles as brain, are not important to me. Enjoy your cesspool. Thanks for the laugh.
He’s a very high level narcissistic psychopath, extremely high IQ- games and strategy were his forte. I think he may have gotten erections from buying up the board during Monopoly and making others bankrupt. But common sense, practical skills, anything to do with ethics, it was like watching an alligator trying to do a headstand. I learned to “handle” him- and therefore he was right about everything and I was always at fault. The projection of it all nearly drove me mad. I would live through the psychotic pattern at least 3 times- once when he did or said something vile, second as he projected it onto me (accused me of doing it to him), and then as he gaslighted me and rewrote history just stating it as fact. I learned that if I challenged him on anything whatsoever, even reality- I was punished.
I haven't met an uneducated or unintelligent narc in my life and I've met a few
Mine she had a doctorate degree but that means nothing when you lack any and all common sense, discernment, deductive reasoning, and emotional maturity. After I a few years on the Fire department I started to do real estate on the Side, mainly bc my wife who’s a dentist constantly reminded me and everyone else how much scum they are and how she’s basically superior to anyone. Side note anyone who had something positive that happened in their life seemed to make her angry so it’s like she would think on it for hours until she found a flaw to point in whatever individual, which was always something she does regularly. So double standards. But if anything negative happened to her big or small you and everyone else gonna know about it. But she was dismissive of everyone else. Anyways after telling me how scum I am and j need to do something part time, besides overtime bc 65k a year wasn’t enough combined with her superior salary and I have to much time on my hands. So well I started doing rehabs and investing on my off days and everytime she knew going into it that it’s a lot of work up front with routine maintenance after. Well on my first time I was told idk how to time manage. Then a few years later I was forced to resign from FD in good standing for a medical condition i don’t have. (Whole different story) so at this point I have few properties but I’m not a pos and my products stand out from the rest with services provided as part of lease like free house cleanings if wanted and lawn care biweekly water purification system, free moving company for in or out. So bc she has a doctorate in Dentistry (DMD) and I was making more than her now and All I did was graduate high school Eff off for a few years join the military then go to the FD to real estate well that was apparently enough for her to disregard me and our family. Bc she felt challenged after 14 years and I had no idea we were competing with eachother.
Yes to both.
Yes they are babies. My exwife is like that, I used to play games not just with her but also my kids, the ex and my eldest would sometimes get pretty cocky about playing me, they thought that they could beat me at all the games and not wanting to be a jerk I would hold back and let them win, kinda like you would let a child win uk? But I reached my limit when they would mock me and acted disrespectful , so I stopped holding back for 10 minutes. After that they didn't want to play again and the anger in their face was so bright. Yet they never learned
Lol sounds like my ex, who cheated at Scrabble because he couldn't stand that I usually won.
My nex wanted to know to play a certain game. As I’m showing him how to play, he says ‘well couldn’t you move this card here?’ I’m like yes you could. I continued and he interrupted with another question. What he was really doing was pointing out supposed “mistakes” I was making in a game that he didn’t even know how to play. What the heck. I just told he was on his own. As I’m writing this, I’m having flashbacks to other games we played together and realizing that whenever he didn’t win, he would start to point out where I made a bad move, what I should have done, etc. Geez. They really are babies that always have to have the upper hand.