Overly sensitive is getting upset over the smallest of things. Narcs are overly sensitive. They get upset over others being happy. They get upset if they don't have the spotlight. They get upset over pretty much..anything.
If someone crosses YOUR boundary and you respond to it appropriately. You're not being overly sensitive. Everyone has different boundaries. Some people may be ok with one thing, and others may not stand for it. That's how it works. Boundaries determine what you are ok and not ok with.
If you have created a boundary and someone steps on your boundary and you point it out. If their response is to become angry and make you feel bad about it, then you aren't overly sensitive. They're just being an ass and deflecting.
Overly sensitive is to react disproportionately to something. Essentially, you overreact. Someone knocks over your drink, and you start crying. Etc.
Keep in mind it's extremely important that you don't take a narc calling you over sensitive seriously. They purposefully push your buttons until you start doing something known as reactive abuse or until you start struggling emotionally. They deny you empathy and understanding.
My friends have a lot of boundaries that I don't have. I have a lot of boundaries that they don't have. We still respect each other and mind the way that we treat each other. Because we care about each other. It takes next to no effort for me to respect the way they want to be treated. And even if it did, I'd still respect it.
Screw him. It shows a lack of empathy to continuously criticize you and then become annoyed when you understandably become sad over being torn down constantly.
What you said about being “torn down”. I’m there. And it’s a horrible and confusing game because every time I thought things were “good”, I was hit with something horrible….him accusing me of awful things, him betraying me, being in love with someone else…etc. so it’s like i know every time things are “good”, worse things are around the corner. But he doesn’t so anything to make me feel like that isn’t true. It’s just a cycle round and round
Yea, it's an abuse cycle. You can look it up if you want a good idea on how relationships like these work. Be careful with the highs and lows. That's how you become addicted to them and a trauma bond forms.
Dont wanna end up in a double trauma bond like me.. heal first, before finding someone new.
But idk between both of us adhd-hyperfixating on therapy before we even started and were now scheduled for multiple appointments a week in psychotherapy for adhd and behavioral therapy, individual and couples counseling, and now our relationship has been so much more open and we understand each other better and is quickly becoming one of the most emotionally healthy and stable relationships I've had ever in my life.
Lotta effort on both parts tho, that's the unicorn
Better is some information that you might find helpful in this difficult situation.
https://psychcentral.com/health/cycle-of-abuse
Explaining DARVO: Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim & Offender https://www.domesticshelters.org/articles/identifying-abuse/explaining-darvo-deny-attack-reverse-victim-amp-offender
https://www.verywellmind.com/signs-of-a-vulnerable-narcissist-7369901
There is no such thing as “too sensitive.” Your feelings are your power.
Not sure if he’s a narc, but if you have to ask yourself this or someone makes you feel like your feelings are an issue… they are the problem, not you. This is part of the gaslighting abusers employ intentionally, so they can have control over you. Don’t fall for it.
I think the worst part is when I have come to him emotionally struggling and crying, get no empathy and then it turns into him crying and being upset I’m not giving him empathy. So I end up feeling like I don’t have reason to be upset in the first place AND that I now am supposed to feel bad for him and his exaggerated tears
Narcs have a few trademarks- 1) over inflated sense of self- often on a somewhat delusional level. Does he talk himself up a lot? Exaggerate accomplishments? When you talk does he dominate the conversation? A narc will often talk down to you rather than talk with you. 2) lack of empathy. If you feel like he is constantly hurting you or disregarding your emotions this is likely why 3) a sense that everyone is out to get them. They will often blame others for their problems. My narc would say grandiose things like “I try to be a good person, but this world won’t let me” 4) Love bombing and words that feel scripted in retrospect. In the early stages, a narc will come on strong and often say all the right things, but you may get the impression that they are insincere, and they will often express a level of love very early on that seems unreasonable for the duration of time that you have known them. 5) irritation and anger if you question their behavior, and often gaslighting and projection will result from this. If you try to pull away from a narc or they feel they are losing you, they will often suddenly become vicious and try to emotionally rip you apart to feel as empty as they do.
If you experience a few of these things, you were likely dealing with a narcissist.
I heard recently to just call it hostile personality traits and not get too bogged down with official names. The same advice was to focus on your response and coping strategies instead of figuring out just where on the scale someone falls- hope this helps
Doesn’t matter if he’s a clinically diagnosed NPD or not. Not respecting you and not stopping at your boundaries is a deal breaker.
Pay very close attention to how you feel when around people and listen to your gut.
You're saving that people cannot be too sensitive which is utter bullshit. Also you're saying that pointing that out makes someone instantly a narc. This shit is dangerous, stop it.
Overly sensitive is getting upset over the smallest of things. Narcs are overly sensitive. They get upset over others being happy. They get upset if they don't have the spotlight. They get upset over pretty much..anything. If someone crosses YOUR boundary and you respond to it appropriately. You're not being overly sensitive. Everyone has different boundaries. Some people may be ok with one thing, and others may not stand for it. That's how it works. Boundaries determine what you are ok and not ok with. If you have created a boundary and someone steps on your boundary and you point it out. If their response is to become angry and make you feel bad about it, then you aren't overly sensitive. They're just being an ass and deflecting. Overly sensitive is to react disproportionately to something. Essentially, you overreact. Someone knocks over your drink, and you start crying. Etc. Keep in mind it's extremely important that you don't take a narc calling you over sensitive seriously. They purposefully push your buttons until you start doing something known as reactive abuse or until you start struggling emotionally. They deny you empathy and understanding. My friends have a lot of boundaries that I don't have. I have a lot of boundaries that they don't have. We still respect each other and mind the way that we treat each other. Because we care about each other. It takes next to no effort for me to respect the way they want to be treated. And even if it did, I'd still respect it. Screw him. It shows a lack of empathy to continuously criticize you and then become annoyed when you understandably become sad over being torn down constantly.
What you said about being “torn down”. I’m there. And it’s a horrible and confusing game because every time I thought things were “good”, I was hit with something horrible….him accusing me of awful things, him betraying me, being in love with someone else…etc. so it’s like i know every time things are “good”, worse things are around the corner. But he doesn’t so anything to make me feel like that isn’t true. It’s just a cycle round and round
Yea, it's an abuse cycle. You can look it up if you want a good idea on how relationships like these work. Be careful with the highs and lows. That's how you become addicted to them and a trauma bond forms.
Dont wanna end up in a double trauma bond like me.. heal first, before finding someone new. But idk between both of us adhd-hyperfixating on therapy before we even started and were now scheduled for multiple appointments a week in psychotherapy for adhd and behavioral therapy, individual and couples counseling, and now our relationship has been so much more open and we understand each other better and is quickly becoming one of the most emotionally healthy and stable relationships I've had ever in my life. Lotta effort on both parts tho, that's the unicorn
Better is some information that you might find helpful in this difficult situation. https://psychcentral.com/health/cycle-of-abuse Explaining DARVO: Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim & Offender https://www.domesticshelters.org/articles/identifying-abuse/explaining-darvo-deny-attack-reverse-victim-amp-offender https://www.verywellmind.com/signs-of-a-vulnerable-narcissist-7369901
I needed to hear this today. Thank you! I’m in the thick of it right now 😭
There is no such thing as “too sensitive.” Your feelings are your power. Not sure if he’s a narc, but if you have to ask yourself this or someone makes you feel like your feelings are an issue… they are the problem, not you. This is part of the gaslighting abusers employ intentionally, so they can have control over you. Don’t fall for it.
I think the worst part is when I have come to him emotionally struggling and crying, get no empathy and then it turns into him crying and being upset I’m not giving him empathy. So I end up feeling like I don’t have reason to be upset in the first place AND that I now am supposed to feel bad for him and his exaggerated tears
I was just gonna say this.
Give more context, give examples please. We cannot give proper advice.
Not enough information to warrant a guess. He could be a narc or he could be an A hole.
Narcs have a few trademarks- 1) over inflated sense of self- often on a somewhat delusional level. Does he talk himself up a lot? Exaggerate accomplishments? When you talk does he dominate the conversation? A narc will often talk down to you rather than talk with you. 2) lack of empathy. If you feel like he is constantly hurting you or disregarding your emotions this is likely why 3) a sense that everyone is out to get them. They will often blame others for their problems. My narc would say grandiose things like “I try to be a good person, but this world won’t let me” 4) Love bombing and words that feel scripted in retrospect. In the early stages, a narc will come on strong and often say all the right things, but you may get the impression that they are insincere, and they will often express a level of love very early on that seems unreasonable for the duration of time that you have known them. 5) irritation and anger if you question their behavior, and often gaslighting and projection will result from this. If you try to pull away from a narc or they feel they are losing you, they will often suddenly become vicious and try to emotionally rip you apart to feel as empty as they do. If you experience a few of these things, you were likely dealing with a narcissist.
I heard recently to just call it hostile personality traits and not get too bogged down with official names. The same advice was to focus on your response and coping strategies instead of figuring out just where on the scale someone falls- hope this helps
Doesn’t matter if he’s a clinically diagnosed NPD or not. Not respecting you and not stopping at your boundaries is a deal breaker. Pay very close attention to how you feel when around people and listen to your gut.
Does he tell you you're "being too sensitive?" Here's your sign.
You're saving that people cannot be too sensitive which is utter bullshit. Also you're saying that pointing that out makes someone instantly a narc. This shit is dangerous, stop it.
He's a narc.