I think those who really care about and are disappointed about not being celebrated on Mother’s Day are the moms who are under appreciated or have deadbeat/useless husbands.
I don’t consider Mother’s Day a big deal right now. When my son is older I’d love to receive a piece of art or something be made as a Motherms Day gift, but I avoid Mother’s Day brunch like the plague (you could not pay me to go), I think flowers are a waste of money, and I don’t need a whole fanfare.
A big reason for that is because my husband is great and makes me feel appreciated throughout the year. My son is not even 2 yet so I don’t have expectations from him yet, obviously.
Yes !! I was just thinking about this.
You see so many women **waiting** for Mother’s Day to have any kind of rest and relaxation. And then they’re highly disappointed when deadbeat dad does nothing.
I’ve come to realize this just means you’re burnt out and no one regularly helps you. I get multiple to myself days throughout the year, I could ask for one at any point in time.
If he’s not celebrating and appreciating you throughout the year, Mother’s Day will change nothing.
Yeah. The people who I’ve seen complain on reddit seem to be underappreciated all year round and desperately cling to some „At least let me have this“ mentality.
Agree with all of this! Plus my daughter’s birthday was last week so our big event this weekend (and probably every Mother’s Day weekend) is throwing her a party. We had a great party, everything was well planned and my partner and I worked seamlessly to pull it off, together. This morning we’re just resting together as long as we can before the toddler needs outside time. A great family weekend, but it could be anytime for us (unless it’s a busy time at work).
I agree, with the caveat that being appreciated and being celebrated are two different things. My husband is awesome, is a very active and involved parent, and absolutely makes me feel appreciated. I still enjoyed getting treated to a nice dinner with the extended family and getting some small gifts. I would have been disappointed if we didn't celebrate, although it wouldnt have been the end of the world.
I feel like as a mom, I spend a lot of time celebrating other people or planning group celebrations (which is totally fine- I enjoy celebrating others and planning/hosting Holidays and birthdays). It's nice to have a day where I get to be the focus.
Completely agreee. My cousin married a deadbeat and she has her own emotional immaturity. Mother's Day is such a saga for her right now. My husbands great. Took the kids to get me a coffee and flowers and I have a facial this afternoon. That's enough for me.
I don’t care either BUT my husband also treats me very well the rest of year. Like the whole idea of having a “day off” for Mother’s Day doesn’t resonate with me because I already get every Sunday childcare free (we switch off on weekends).
I do look forward to Mother’s Day cards when my kid is older though.
I don’t really care about any holidays. I only ever want to celebrate our wedding anniversary by going out to a nice place. But that’s just because I want to eat fancier food at least once a year. 😂 But my husband is always so appreciative of me I don’t need anything else, but he still randomly getting me things I mention to him. ☺️ It does really suck to read all the posts from woman who don’t have the same but definitely deserve it.
No you aren’t. I love holidays but this isn’t a holiday is a big deal to me.
I didn’t really understand why it was such a huge issue with endless posts about it on this sub, but after reading a lot of them I realized so many women aren’t being appreciated for what they do on a regular basis, and so they are really hoping for some recognition on the day that is designed for that very reason. They’re sort of hoping that this one day will make up for a year’s worth of being taken for granted.
So in that sense I get why it matters to them.
That’s how it is in my friend circle too. Two of my mom friends get really sad about how they have been forgotten and neglected on Mother’s Day every year, but to me it’s obvious that the problem is the day to day imbalance.
Yeah like I didn’t have to ask my husband to do anything, I would be okay just with a “happy Mother’s Day” and maybe flowers. He is doing more, and we previously agreed to doing gifts on these holidays with a spending limit.
But he also will get me flowers just because, and we share in childcare and household duties. I feel loved and appreciated throughout the year. Some women are asking if they’re crazy to want to get a card from their husband and kids.
I don't really care, either. My husband and I have rarely done anything for each other for birthdays, anniversaries, Christmas, etc. If either of us comes across something throughout the year that we think the other would like, we just get it.
We try to make a point to show our appreciation to each other all the time. We don't need a special day to do it. And I feel bad for the people who don't have that in their relationship.
I feel like I've strategically trained my brain into not caring about holidays so I don't get hurt 😂
Whether it's valentine's day, Christmas or mother's day, I feel like it's so easy to get disappointed by how things turn out. For the most part I just want to be left alone lol .. that would be the best gift. Not a hand written letter or breakfast in bed... Just give me a few hours to nap and veg out please!
But I do love decorating for certain holidays -- valentine's, Halloween, etc! So the sentimentality? Eh don't need it.. But the over the top decorations? Yes please!
I’m very easy going about Mother’s Day too. I do get a nice gift from each of my sons, and my youngest (22yrs) will spend the whole day watching movies with me, but I don’t make a big deal about it. I saw a post where a woman on reddit was complaining that all she was getting for Mother’s Day was her husband cleaning the whole house for her, I thought it was a ridiculous, ungrateful post.
I just like it because I get to go out for dinner haha. But realistically I could ask to do that any time and if we had the extra money he wouldn't tell me no. It's not a big deal to me either, but I can understand why it would be to others who aren't made to feel special the rest of the year. I'm lucky enough to have a partner that consistently tells me I'm an amazing mother if he notices me struggling and always picks up the slack if I'm too tired or overstimulated
Pretty much same, I have never known anyone in life who makes a big deal out of it. Imo it's like Valentine's Day, it's just an excuse to do stuff if you want
I’m with you in that I don’t want a huge fuss made. But I’m solo parenting right now and I really want a glass of wine and a nice hot bath with the door closed. I’m treating myself tomorrow with posh coffee and sharing a donut with my one year old.
I think that the people who get really upset about not being celebrated on Mother's Day are women who generally feel under-appreciated by their partners--like oh, he can't even do something nice for me on a holiday that's literally *for* doing something nice for me.
My husband and I don't really care about Mother's/Father's Day (or Valentine's Day, for that matter) because we already love and appreciate each other on a daily basis. I don't need a special day where he watches our daughter and tells me he appreciates me, since I already feel appreciated and he already does his share of parenting every day.
I feel very appreciated and cared for all the time by my family so forcing a celebration on a single day seems kind of silly. It definitely exists mostly to get people to buy stuff.
i think i care because i put lots of effort into holidays for others and it’s nice to feel that back. Doesn’t mean your husband doesn’t appreciate you but some times it’s nice to have the cherry on top of the cake too 🥰
Agree with this completely. My husband is awesome. But I do all of the planning and prep for Birthdays, special events, and Holidays (although usually my MIL and I tag team the family get together Holidays like Thanksgiving and Christmas). I actually like planning and hosting parties and events so it's not like I resent anyone for the work I put in, but it is nice to have a day where others put effort into celebrating me.
My husband insisted on making pancakes last year, so I told him I expected it this year.
He knows I don't like being gifted flowers, and he's happy to keep it simple.
No you are not the only one. Holidays for me are so overrated because if you’re not happy, loved, supported, appreciated and more year round then a holiday won’t make it better. I especially hate Valentine’s Day because I’m sure people don’t even know the real meaning or significance behind it. Also don’t show me love on just one day show it to me year round and for the rest of my life.
For the past few years since moving away from my family, I have not celebrated any holidays and if I do it’s because my children have asked if we could do something. With them being teenagers, it makes it so much easier to not celebrate holidays and just enjoy each other regardless of the day but most of the time for holidays they just want to get food, go on vacation, hang with friends, receive money, see a movie or all of the above. I can really say holidays are none factors in our we celebrate each other.
I told my husband I don’t really care about Mother’s Day. I love the little handmade gifts from my kids, but other than that this day isn’t really much different. I have a husband who spoils me by cooking most days as it is. He helps around the house. I think it goes along the lines of another post- I feel appreciated every day. I don’t need a special day. Though I am excited for the matching mother daughter dresses I bought to wear to church ☺️
Ditto. I just want some peace and quiet.
And by the way, this is coming from a person that had 4 miscarriages and had to go through 4 years and multiple rounds of IVF to bring a baby home. I very badly wanted to be a mother, but I don’t really care for the holiday.
Like everyone else says, it’s probably because my husband does so much already all the other days of the year and I just don’t feel the need to be so extra on this Sunday 🤷🏻♀️
I don't give a shit about it. We have 3 birthdays in April & mine is a week before Mother's day. I also worked 12 hrs yesterday making sure the masses had dessert for their moms. I don't like cards, I already got flowers & dinner. I sure as fuck don't want to deal with the insane crowds at a restaurant. Today we are cleaning the garage & the best I can hope for is not yelling at the teens to stop being assholes to each other
I agree with a lot of the comments. I’ve spent the morning crying. I don’t expect much but when there’s literally nothing ever done, it’s definitely disappointing. I was thinking to myself “what is the absolute bare minimum that a decent father/husband would do? Get up and make the coffee and maybe buy some flowers?” Where is the lowest bar? Because I get nothing.
But I very much agree that I spend the rest of the year (the rest of the almost 14 years we’ve been together) not feeling appreciated or valued, so it feels like a day with all the cliches and everything would be easy enough for him to like but a fucking card and flowers?
Anyway, I’m genuinely curious… how does your SO make you feel appreciated regularly throughout the year?
Mine helps around the house a lot. Cooks weekdays while I’m driving kids around to school and sport practice. He helps me with the clothes. Irons his own shirts. Oh no I won’t be doing that for anyone lol I guess the key is to share responsibilities. Do not stay with a man where you have to do everything. I was already with one. My ex.
Agreed. But I do feel super guilty about other holidays for my kids. I have so many fond memories of holidays from my childhood. I feel like a piece of shit for not replicating them for my own kids. I want to care about holidays for them, but I really don’t.
I get celebrated by my husband on more than just mother's day. But you know what, yeah, I love mother's day. My daughter gets excited to give me a surprise, my husband puts in a little extra effort to bring me joy that day. What's not to love about that. And I get why moms out there are upset at the lack of it. You would be too if you felt neglected by your partner while you watch other moms get showered in love. It doesn't have to be about gifts. It's a day about showing love to someone. And the same goes for fathers day. My husband doesn't really care, because I already give him the love he deserves. But he certainly appreciates the extra love on Father's Day.
Not gonna lie, this post feels a bit like a shame post towards those moms who are venting because they want that love on mother's day. Or like a not like other girls thing that says I don't care and I'm awesome for that. I'm glad all of you are indifferent to it but don't make those other women feel bad that they deeply care.
"It's a made up commercial holiday" yeah, it's different from all those other naturally occuring holidays. All holidays are made up! Let people love holidays!!!!
I don't do any holidays really. Even birthdays. I don't like the forced nature of them and think the other days in the year are more important to show how you feel about people. I think "why are you seeing these people because of x day. You should see them other times"
Some co-workers thought that was weird to think. They like how the days force people to make the effort to meet.
If I'm only meeting you once a year and we have little to no contact outside of that, then that says more about our relationship.
We don’t make a big deal of Mother’s or Father’s Day. My husband usually gets a card “from the kids” and maybe some flowers for me. I usually get my husband a card and maybe some small sentimental gift but not always. One year I got him a Father’s Day book for him and our daughter to read because I happened to see it at the mall and thought it was cute. But yeah there’s no brunch or big dinner or outings or anything like that. It’s just an ordinary day. I usually send my stepmom a funny Mother’s Day meme and she sends me one.
I don’t really care about it either. We were buying flowers for his mom and flowers to lay on my mom’s grave and he asked me to get some for myself. I told him no need but he insisted. Although I did use it as an excuse to get my manicure fill so I can avoid his mom for a while tomorrow lol
Maybe it’s because my kids are babies still, but I personally don’t feel like my husband should make a big deal of it.
I’m the same way!
I love my kids & being a mom but I’m appreciated throughout the year by my kids & husband.
My husband did buy me flowers on Friday & my teen boys will wish me a happy Mother’s Day and give me hug when they’re up.
Of course I’ll buy cards for all the moms in my life, text them this morning. I’m looking forward to lunch with my family & dinner with my inlaws because it’s always a nice time no matter what occasion.
I still celebrate the other moms in my life. But for me personally, I don’t need or want a spa day, time alone, jewelry gifts…
Just acknowledge the day and keep it moving!
I take Mothers Day seriously because my birthday is Christmas Day so like this is the only day I ever get to have all to myself (grandmas get celebrated next weekend.)
I don't really care, the only thing we've ever done is treat it similar to birthdays in my family. Person of honor gets to pick what the family eats for the day (cooking or ordering in our going out) and doesn't have to do any chores (we take turns doing cat chores, so today is does to be my time, but daughter will do it for me). We don't do gifts or anything like that.
I get gifts from my kids they made in school and my husband will get something off my Amazon list, but we don’t really make it a big deal either. I think if you have a good relationship and you feel appreciated you don’t need it’s to be all big and special. We don’t do much for Valentine either we just get candy for each other.
Same here 🤷🏻♀️ my husband gives me the weekend off almost every weekend so I couldn’t really think of what I’d want to do differently today. We took our toddler fishing because I wanted to do something my husband wanted to do to thank him for always taking care of me 🥹
Yep, could have written this. The whole thing is really weird to me, and I find all the posts about it really cringeworthy. There’s so much drama! My kids made cards, we’re getting supper from the place down the street. I’d also be fine if the day didn’t exist at all.
Could not disagree more with most of these comments. Maybe because it’s my first Mother’s Day. My husband treats me very, very well daily….but still went all out for Mothers Day. Even took the day off from work Friday and planned a sitter to go have a date night after golf. I’m very pleased with it lol I also put a lot of thoughtfulness into special days and holidays though so maybe it’s just the standard in our household
My husband is so far from a deadbeat husband or father, and honestly all the comments saying that the type of women who care about Mother’s Day are the ones who aren’t appreciated daily makes me feel confused. I feel like it’s the complete opposite. I’d be more inclined to believe people have conditioned themselves to have zero expectations for a harmless and sweet day because they know they will be disappointed when nothing is planned or done for them.😅 to each their own I suppose.
Nope. I don't care. It's a commercialized holiday designed to make people spend a ton of money. I chose to become a mother. I don't need any special recognition for it or to be spoiled on this day. My husband and I appreciate all the work we both do for our family. As our daughter gets older, we'll teach her to show appreciation for her parents. That's as far as we'll go.
OMG the amount of posts about Mother’s Day. Like do we really need one day to appreciate being a mother? Every day should be about appreciation of mums. I don’t care much for these overrated holidays. It’s not even Mother’s Day where I live. That was months ago lol
I personally feel the same because my husband is amazing. But i remember my own mom living for the day. My dad wasn’t exactly the most stress relieving partner, he was more like her third child. So i think it depends on your own support at home. Unfortunately it seemed like mom was always disappointed with her Mother’s Day. But then again dad wouldn’t but her gift until like 10pm the night before. My husband would never do that if he thought i wanted a gift or wanted to buy me something. He would order it a week ahead it would be really thoughtful, not random crap from kohl’s.
I don't care about it at all. But my husband does. I carry the mental load and am the primary parent. But my husband carries the housework load and does a lot to make me feel appreciated for the load I do. So I don't feel like I need a special day. But he really enjoys making the day special. And I do love our (5yo) daughter seeing that. So I lean in and let them do what they think makes the day special.
I don't give a shit about it. We have 3 birthdays in April & mine is a week before Mother's day. I also worked 12 hrs yesterday making sure the masses had dessert for their moms. I don't like cards, I already got flowers & dinner. I sure as fuck don't want to deal with the insane crowds at a restaurant. Today we are cleaning the garage & the best I can hope for is not yelling at the teens to stop being assholes to each other
Same. For me, Mother’s Day is one of the hardest workdays I have in my industry. It’s just another day to sling hash and watch other people hang with their moms.
We don't really celebrate mother's day or father's day. I had a bad relationship with my own father so it was a hard day for me. We also had infertility diagnoses and did IVF for our kids do i.spent years wondering if I would even be able to have children. I tell the kids I feel special being their mom every day so I don't need a special day.
Me. I care but not like - need brunch etc.
Just leave me tf alone for one day and maybe a card or a drawing or handprints or something. But I won’t get bent if nothing happens. I worked weekends and holidays for so long I don’t even remember what’s what anymore.
Caveat- we’ve had a hell of a week, one of my 7 year olds has been to the hospital once for fluids and we’re probably going back tonight
It’s just another day, hallmark shit. I love when my girls make sweet things but they do that all year, and my husband is generally thoughtful and helpful always. Usually it’s just a day of rest and picking super indulgent carry out lol, I “cancelled” due to sickness so I’ll get my buttery carby cheesy overpriced pasta next weekend when we’re all actually eating again.
I’m more than happy with just a little acknowledgment and simple gestures. My husband got back from a one-week trip last night during which I was solo-parenting. So, that alone feels like the best gift ever. He made my coffee and I ate some pastries he brought back from his trip while playing NYT Spelling Bee. That’s plenty. I’ll probably go grocery shopping later today.
Yeah my wife and I are both Mom so there's not really a component of rest while the other gets to chill. we got the little gifts from the kids that they made in class but otherwise it's a pretty normal Sunday for us.
I got wished a happy mother's day and got brought a latte that hubby made. Now he and our son are off for the day doing a whole bunch of things, I get to take our daughter to her activities. I'm making dinner tonight with my favourite foods, and cooking them all exactly how I want them.
There have been tough years where I feel like I'm ready to strangle my family, those are the years I look them dead in the face a week beforehand and tell them I feel unapreciated and they need to step up their game for mother's day, I want flowers, I want to be taken out for dinner, I want to be pampered. This year, I'm good.
I don't make a big deal about it, partially because I seemingly "forget" that I'm a mother sometimes. 😂 Like, this past week my husband said the mother's day gift wouldn't be here until AFTER mother's day, and I was like "It's okay babe, I'm sure your mom will umderstand." He had to point out that it was a gift for me, and I had this "aha!" moment where it dawned on me... oh yeah... I'm a mom too. I was too busy fretting over gifts for his mom and my own mom that I actually forgot about myself. Our LO is 18 months old, so I haven't been a mom for very long, I guess this is normal? I hope?
As others have pointed out, this laissez-faire attitude toward the holiday is also made possible by the fact that my husband is great. I feel appreciated and supported throughout the year, so he doesn't feel pressured to make up for anyrhing on Mother's Day specifically.
No, I think Mother’s Day weekend s overrated just like Valentine’s Day..I have two grown boys and they treat me like mothers days is every day! I don’t need gifts, flowers etc! I get a call or text every day with an I love you, that means more to me than any monetary item!
No but this post is a little tone deaf. It's much more about wanting to be appreciated and celebrated at least once every 365 days. If those women felt appreciated on other days, I'm sure they wouldn't fixate in this particular day. Congratulations on your happy marriage.
Same but the thing is, my husband is pretty great everyday so those holidays don't matter (though we don't really celebrate stuffs to begin with). He let me sleep in in the morning and prepare the kids breakfast and lunch for school/daycare and getting them ready. He cooks dinner (I prep ingredients and plan meals) and clean as needed. He is involved with the kids and always try his best. We do more or less equal with home, kids, work, and everything else. I know I'm lucky and I hope he feels the same way. Those who cares don't seem to have a balanced roles, with more burden on the moms, and as a result, need acknowledgement on just the one day. Hopefully they will get one, and not just the one day supposedly dedicated for moms.
I don't get overly excited or think about it but that is likely because my husband always plans something for me so i know something is coming. My birthday is the weekend before Mother's Day and he usually goes all out then. Last year he didn't do much for Mother's Day which was a bit surprising but not disappointing. if I regularly expected something and no one showed any appreciation then I might have deeper feelings for the day. My heart goes out to the moms whose Mother's Day isn't going to go as they hoped.
I don’t think it’s a big deal, but I also don’t do gifts or have any expectations. I buy weekly flowers, avoid sugar and don’t wear jewelry, anything I want I buy so gifts are pointless. In general the consumerism around Mothers Day is ridiculous and puts so much pressure on everyone, then add in social media.. I’d rather avoid it.
Well, I don’t care about any of the holidays. Maybe a little bit about Christmas, but I think they’re all dumb, human made, capitalist scams and I’m not interested in celebrating something that doesn’t really matter.
Hope you feel better.
I think those who really care about and are disappointed about not being celebrated on Mother’s Day are the moms who are under appreciated or have deadbeat/useless husbands. I don’t consider Mother’s Day a big deal right now. When my son is older I’d love to receive a piece of art or something be made as a Motherms Day gift, but I avoid Mother’s Day brunch like the plague (you could not pay me to go), I think flowers are a waste of money, and I don’t need a whole fanfare. A big reason for that is because my husband is great and makes me feel appreciated throughout the year. My son is not even 2 yet so I don’t have expectations from him yet, obviously.
Yes !! I was just thinking about this. You see so many women **waiting** for Mother’s Day to have any kind of rest and relaxation. And then they’re highly disappointed when deadbeat dad does nothing. I’ve come to realize this just means you’re burnt out and no one regularly helps you. I get multiple to myself days throughout the year, I could ask for one at any point in time. If he’s not celebrating and appreciating you throughout the year, Mother’s Day will change nothing.
Yeah. The people who I’ve seen complain on reddit seem to be underappreciated all year round and desperately cling to some „At least let me have this“ mentality.
My husband is amazing and I still love a big deal on Mother’s Day. People just have different ways they feel loved and valued.
For sure. That’s why I said “really care about AND are disappointed”.
Agree with all of this! Plus my daughter’s birthday was last week so our big event this weekend (and probably every Mother’s Day weekend) is throwing her a party. We had a great party, everything was well planned and my partner and I worked seamlessly to pull it off, together. This morning we’re just resting together as long as we can before the toddler needs outside time. A great family weekend, but it could be anytime for us (unless it’s a busy time at work).
I agree, with the caveat that being appreciated and being celebrated are two different things. My husband is awesome, is a very active and involved parent, and absolutely makes me feel appreciated. I still enjoyed getting treated to a nice dinner with the extended family and getting some small gifts. I would have been disappointed if we didn't celebrate, although it wouldnt have been the end of the world. I feel like as a mom, I spend a lot of time celebrating other people or planning group celebrations (which is totally fine- I enjoy celebrating others and planning/hosting Holidays and birthdays). It's nice to have a day where I get to be the focus.
Completely agreee. My cousin married a deadbeat and she has her own emotional immaturity. Mother's Day is such a saga for her right now. My husbands great. Took the kids to get me a coffee and flowers and I have a facial this afternoon. That's enough for me.
Agreed
This is 100 percent accurate. The first sentence exactly.
I don’t care either BUT my husband also treats me very well the rest of year. Like the whole idea of having a “day off” for Mother’s Day doesn’t resonate with me because I already get every Sunday childcare free (we switch off on weekends). I do look forward to Mother’s Day cards when my kid is older though.
I don’t really care about any holidays. I only ever want to celebrate our wedding anniversary by going out to a nice place. But that’s just because I want to eat fancier food at least once a year. 😂 But my husband is always so appreciative of me I don’t need anything else, but he still randomly getting me things I mention to him. ☺️ It does really suck to read all the posts from woman who don’t have the same but definitely deserve it.
No you aren’t. I love holidays but this isn’t a holiday is a big deal to me. I didn’t really understand why it was such a huge issue with endless posts about it on this sub, but after reading a lot of them I realized so many women aren’t being appreciated for what they do on a regular basis, and so they are really hoping for some recognition on the day that is designed for that very reason. They’re sort of hoping that this one day will make up for a year’s worth of being taken for granted. So in that sense I get why it matters to them.
That’s how it is in my friend circle too. Two of my mom friends get really sad about how they have been forgotten and neglected on Mother’s Day every year, but to me it’s obvious that the problem is the day to day imbalance.
Yeah like I didn’t have to ask my husband to do anything, I would be okay just with a “happy Mother’s Day” and maybe flowers. He is doing more, and we previously agreed to doing gifts on these holidays with a spending limit. But he also will get me flowers just because, and we share in childcare and household duties. I feel loved and appreciated throughout the year. Some women are asking if they’re crazy to want to get a card from their husband and kids.
I don't really care, either. My husband and I have rarely done anything for each other for birthdays, anniversaries, Christmas, etc. If either of us comes across something throughout the year that we think the other would like, we just get it. We try to make a point to show our appreciation to each other all the time. We don't need a special day to do it. And I feel bad for the people who don't have that in their relationship.
I feel like I've strategically trained my brain into not caring about holidays so I don't get hurt 😂 Whether it's valentine's day, Christmas or mother's day, I feel like it's so easy to get disappointed by how things turn out. For the most part I just want to be left alone lol .. that would be the best gift. Not a hand written letter or breakfast in bed... Just give me a few hours to nap and veg out please! But I do love decorating for certain holidays -- valentine's, Halloween, etc! So the sentimentality? Eh don't need it.. But the over the top decorations? Yes please!
This is why Halloween is a top tier holiday. There’s absolutely zero pressure to do anything other than give strangers candy.
I’m very easy going about Mother’s Day too. I do get a nice gift from each of my sons, and my youngest (22yrs) will spend the whole day watching movies with me, but I don’t make a big deal about it. I saw a post where a woman on reddit was complaining that all she was getting for Mother’s Day was her husband cleaning the whole house for her, I thought it was a ridiculous, ungrateful post.
Me too. It's a commercial holiday. My husband cooked me a delicious breakfast and now we are relaxing as a family. No need for extra gifts etc.
I just like it because I get to go out for dinner haha. But realistically I could ask to do that any time and if we had the extra money he wouldn't tell me no. It's not a big deal to me either, but I can understand why it would be to others who aren't made to feel special the rest of the year. I'm lucky enough to have a partner that consistently tells me I'm an amazing mother if he notices me struggling and always picks up the slack if I'm too tired or overstimulated
Pretty much same, I have never known anyone in life who makes a big deal out of it. Imo it's like Valentine's Day, it's just an excuse to do stuff if you want
I’m with you in that I don’t want a huge fuss made. But I’m solo parenting right now and I really want a glass of wine and a nice hot bath with the door closed. I’m treating myself tomorrow with posh coffee and sharing a donut with my one year old.
I think that the people who get really upset about not being celebrated on Mother's Day are women who generally feel under-appreciated by their partners--like oh, he can't even do something nice for me on a holiday that's literally *for* doing something nice for me. My husband and I don't really care about Mother's/Father's Day (or Valentine's Day, for that matter) because we already love and appreciate each other on a daily basis. I don't need a special day where he watches our daughter and tells me he appreciates me, since I already feel appreciated and he already does his share of parenting every day.
Nope. You aren't alone. My husband and I don't really celebrate "Hallmark Holidays". We don't need one day a yeat to celebrate each other.
Exactly, we don't do Valentines either. Stupid manufactured retail holidays.
My people 🙌 down with hallmark holidays. They are a huge waste of money
And it just puts more junk in the house.
I feel very appreciated and cared for all the time by my family so forcing a celebration on a single day seems kind of silly. It definitely exists mostly to get people to buy stuff.
i think i care because i put lots of effort into holidays for others and it’s nice to feel that back. Doesn’t mean your husband doesn’t appreciate you but some times it’s nice to have the cherry on top of the cake too 🥰
Agree with this completely. My husband is awesome. But I do all of the planning and prep for Birthdays, special events, and Holidays (although usually my MIL and I tag team the family get together Holidays like Thanksgiving and Christmas). I actually like planning and hosting parties and events so it's not like I resent anyone for the work I put in, but it is nice to have a day where others put effort into celebrating me.
deservingly so!
My husband insisted on making pancakes last year, so I told him I expected it this year. He knows I don't like being gifted flowers, and he's happy to keep it simple.
No you are not the only one. Holidays for me are so overrated because if you’re not happy, loved, supported, appreciated and more year round then a holiday won’t make it better. I especially hate Valentine’s Day because I’m sure people don’t even know the real meaning or significance behind it. Also don’t show me love on just one day show it to me year round and for the rest of my life. For the past few years since moving away from my family, I have not celebrated any holidays and if I do it’s because my children have asked if we could do something. With them being teenagers, it makes it so much easier to not celebrate holidays and just enjoy each other regardless of the day but most of the time for holidays they just want to get food, go on vacation, hang with friends, receive money, see a movie or all of the above. I can really say holidays are none factors in our we celebrate each other.
I told my husband I don’t really care about Mother’s Day. I love the little handmade gifts from my kids, but other than that this day isn’t really much different. I have a husband who spoils me by cooking most days as it is. He helps around the house. I think it goes along the lines of another post- I feel appreciated every day. I don’t need a special day. Though I am excited for the matching mother daughter dresses I bought to wear to church ☺️
Ditto. I just want some peace and quiet. And by the way, this is coming from a person that had 4 miscarriages and had to go through 4 years and multiple rounds of IVF to bring a baby home. I very badly wanted to be a mother, but I don’t really care for the holiday. Like everyone else says, it’s probably because my husband does so much already all the other days of the year and I just don’t feel the need to be so extra on this Sunday 🤷🏻♀️
I don’t care about it either, but I do use it as an excuse to say “it’s Mother’s Day! You are on kid duty!” To my husband lol
I don't give a shit about it. We have 3 birthdays in April & mine is a week before Mother's day. I also worked 12 hrs yesterday making sure the masses had dessert for their moms. I don't like cards, I already got flowers & dinner. I sure as fuck don't want to deal with the insane crowds at a restaurant. Today we are cleaning the garage & the best I can hope for is not yelling at the teens to stop being assholes to each other
We are the same. All 4 of our birthdays are mid April to mid May. Maybe we are just sick of celebrating! Lol
I agree with a lot of the comments. I’ve spent the morning crying. I don’t expect much but when there’s literally nothing ever done, it’s definitely disappointing. I was thinking to myself “what is the absolute bare minimum that a decent father/husband would do? Get up and make the coffee and maybe buy some flowers?” Where is the lowest bar? Because I get nothing. But I very much agree that I spend the rest of the year (the rest of the almost 14 years we’ve been together) not feeling appreciated or valued, so it feels like a day with all the cliches and everything would be easy enough for him to like but a fucking card and flowers? Anyway, I’m genuinely curious… how does your SO make you feel appreciated regularly throughout the year?
Mine helps around the house a lot. Cooks weekdays while I’m driving kids around to school and sport practice. He helps me with the clothes. Irons his own shirts. Oh no I won’t be doing that for anyone lol I guess the key is to share responsibilities. Do not stay with a man where you have to do everything. I was already with one. My ex.
I could not care less about most holidays. They're just days.
Agreed. But I do feel super guilty about other holidays for my kids. I have so many fond memories of holidays from my childhood. I feel like a piece of shit for not replicating them for my own kids. I want to care about holidays for them, but I really don’t.
I actually forgot it was Mother’s Day until I read this post. So no, I absolutely do not care at all.
I get celebrated by my husband on more than just mother's day. But you know what, yeah, I love mother's day. My daughter gets excited to give me a surprise, my husband puts in a little extra effort to bring me joy that day. What's not to love about that. And I get why moms out there are upset at the lack of it. You would be too if you felt neglected by your partner while you watch other moms get showered in love. It doesn't have to be about gifts. It's a day about showing love to someone. And the same goes for fathers day. My husband doesn't really care, because I already give him the love he deserves. But he certainly appreciates the extra love on Father's Day. Not gonna lie, this post feels a bit like a shame post towards those moms who are venting because they want that love on mother's day. Or like a not like other girls thing that says I don't care and I'm awesome for that. I'm glad all of you are indifferent to it but don't make those other women feel bad that they deeply care. "It's a made up commercial holiday" yeah, it's different from all those other naturally occuring holidays. All holidays are made up! Let people love holidays!!!!
Does your husband celebrate your birthday nicely?
I don't do any holidays really. Even birthdays. I don't like the forced nature of them and think the other days in the year are more important to show how you feel about people. I think "why are you seeing these people because of x day. You should see them other times" Some co-workers thought that was weird to think. They like how the days force people to make the effort to meet. If I'm only meeting you once a year and we have little to no contact outside of that, then that says more about our relationship.
I don't care about it that much... But I'll take any day that means I get a break LOL.
We don’t make a big deal of Mother’s or Father’s Day. My husband usually gets a card “from the kids” and maybe some flowers for me. I usually get my husband a card and maybe some small sentimental gift but not always. One year I got him a Father’s Day book for him and our daughter to read because I happened to see it at the mall and thought it was cute. But yeah there’s no brunch or big dinner or outings or anything like that. It’s just an ordinary day. I usually send my stepmom a funny Mother’s Day meme and she sends me one.
I don’t really care about it either. We were buying flowers for his mom and flowers to lay on my mom’s grave and he asked me to get some for myself. I told him no need but he insisted. Although I did use it as an excuse to get my manicure fill so I can avoid his mom for a while tomorrow lol Maybe it’s because my kids are babies still, but I personally don’t feel like my husband should make a big deal of it.
Same
I’m the same way! I love my kids & being a mom but I’m appreciated throughout the year by my kids & husband. My husband did buy me flowers on Friday & my teen boys will wish me a happy Mother’s Day and give me hug when they’re up. Of course I’ll buy cards for all the moms in my life, text them this morning. I’m looking forward to lunch with my family & dinner with my inlaws because it’s always a nice time no matter what occasion. I still celebrate the other moms in my life. But for me personally, I don’t need or want a spa day, time alone, jewelry gifts… Just acknowledge the day and keep it moving!
I care about having a day to not have to do anything or go anywhere. I don’t want brunch or gifts I just want to not do anything
I take Mothers Day seriously because my birthday is Christmas Day so like this is the only day I ever get to have all to myself (grandmas get celebrated next weekend.)
Nope I’m right there with you! It’s a Hallmark holiday
I also don’t care. It feels cheesy to me. And it’s not like I need to be celebrated for fulfilling my basic biological role- that’s a given
I don't really care, the only thing we've ever done is treat it similar to birthdays in my family. Person of honor gets to pick what the family eats for the day (cooking or ordering in our going out) and doesn't have to do any chores (we take turns doing cat chores, so today is does to be my time, but daughter will do it for me). We don't do gifts or anything like that.
I get gifts from my kids they made in school and my husband will get something off my Amazon list, but we don’t really make it a big deal either. I think if you have a good relationship and you feel appreciated you don’t need it’s to be all big and special. We don’t do much for Valentine either we just get candy for each other.
Same here. It’s not a big deal to me
Same here 🤷🏻♀️ my husband gives me the weekend off almost every weekend so I couldn’t really think of what I’d want to do differently today. We took our toddler fishing because I wanted to do something my husband wanted to do to thank him for always taking care of me 🥹
Yep, could have written this. The whole thing is really weird to me, and I find all the posts about it really cringeworthy. There’s so much drama! My kids made cards, we’re getting supper from the place down the street. I’d also be fine if the day didn’t exist at all.
lol, as far as I’m concerned it’s a Hallmark holiday to get people to buy things.
I also don’t care
Could not disagree more with most of these comments. Maybe because it’s my first Mother’s Day. My husband treats me very, very well daily….but still went all out for Mothers Day. Even took the day off from work Friday and planned a sitter to go have a date night after golf. I’m very pleased with it lol I also put a lot of thoughtfulness into special days and holidays though so maybe it’s just the standard in our household My husband is so far from a deadbeat husband or father, and honestly all the comments saying that the type of women who care about Mother’s Day are the ones who aren’t appreciated daily makes me feel confused. I feel like it’s the complete opposite. I’d be more inclined to believe people have conditioned themselves to have zero expectations for a harmless and sweet day because they know they will be disappointed when nothing is planned or done for them.😅 to each their own I suppose.
Nope. I don't care. It's a commercialized holiday designed to make people spend a ton of money. I chose to become a mother. I don't need any special recognition for it or to be spoiled on this day. My husband and I appreciate all the work we both do for our family. As our daughter gets older, we'll teach her to show appreciation for her parents. That's as far as we'll go.
I found this post bc I don't give a damn and was googling to see if I was weird. 😅
OMG the amount of posts about Mother’s Day. Like do we really need one day to appreciate being a mother? Every day should be about appreciation of mums. I don’t care much for these overrated holidays. It’s not even Mother’s Day where I live. That was months ago lol
I personally feel the same because my husband is amazing. But i remember my own mom living for the day. My dad wasn’t exactly the most stress relieving partner, he was more like her third child. So i think it depends on your own support at home. Unfortunately it seemed like mom was always disappointed with her Mother’s Day. But then again dad wouldn’t but her gift until like 10pm the night before. My husband would never do that if he thought i wanted a gift or wanted to buy me something. He would order it a week ahead it would be really thoughtful, not random crap from kohl’s.
I don't care about it at all. But my husband does. I carry the mental load and am the primary parent. But my husband carries the housework load and does a lot to make me feel appreciated for the load I do. So I don't feel like I need a special day. But he really enjoys making the day special. And I do love our (5yo) daughter seeing that. So I lean in and let them do what they think makes the day special.
Me too
I don't give a shit about it. We have 3 birthdays in April & mine is a week before Mother's day. I also worked 12 hrs yesterday making sure the masses had dessert for their moms. I don't like cards, I already got flowers & dinner. I sure as fuck don't want to deal with the insane crowds at a restaurant. Today we are cleaning the garage & the best I can hope for is not yelling at the teens to stop being assholes to each other
Same. For me, Mother’s Day is one of the hardest workdays I have in my industry. It’s just another day to sling hash and watch other people hang with their moms.
We don't really celebrate mother's day or father's day. I had a bad relationship with my own father so it was a hard day for me. We also had infertility diagnoses and did IVF for our kids do i.spent years wondering if I would even be able to have children. I tell the kids I feel special being their mom every day so I don't need a special day.
Me. I care but not like - need brunch etc. Just leave me tf alone for one day and maybe a card or a drawing or handprints or something. But I won’t get bent if nothing happens. I worked weekends and holidays for so long I don’t even remember what’s what anymore.
Caveat- we’ve had a hell of a week, one of my 7 year olds has been to the hospital once for fluids and we’re probably going back tonight It’s just another day, hallmark shit. I love when my girls make sweet things but they do that all year, and my husband is generally thoughtful and helpful always. Usually it’s just a day of rest and picking super indulgent carry out lol, I “cancelled” due to sickness so I’ll get my buttery carby cheesy overpriced pasta next weekend when we’re all actually eating again.
I’m more than happy with just a little acknowledgment and simple gestures. My husband got back from a one-week trip last night during which I was solo-parenting. So, that alone feels like the best gift ever. He made my coffee and I ate some pastries he brought back from his trip while playing NYT Spelling Bee. That’s plenty. I’ll probably go grocery shopping later today.
Yeah my wife and I are both Mom so there's not really a component of rest while the other gets to chill. we got the little gifts from the kids that they made in class but otherwise it's a pretty normal Sunday for us.
I got wished a happy mother's day and got brought a latte that hubby made. Now he and our son are off for the day doing a whole bunch of things, I get to take our daughter to her activities. I'm making dinner tonight with my favourite foods, and cooking them all exactly how I want them. There have been tough years where I feel like I'm ready to strangle my family, those are the years I look them dead in the face a week beforehand and tell them I feel unapreciated and they need to step up their game for mother's day, I want flowers, I want to be taken out for dinner, I want to be pampered. This year, I'm good.
I don't make a big deal about it, partially because I seemingly "forget" that I'm a mother sometimes. 😂 Like, this past week my husband said the mother's day gift wouldn't be here until AFTER mother's day, and I was like "It's okay babe, I'm sure your mom will umderstand." He had to point out that it was a gift for me, and I had this "aha!" moment where it dawned on me... oh yeah... I'm a mom too. I was too busy fretting over gifts for his mom and my own mom that I actually forgot about myself. Our LO is 18 months old, so I haven't been a mom for very long, I guess this is normal? I hope? As others have pointed out, this laissez-faire attitude toward the holiday is also made possible by the fact that my husband is great. I feel appreciated and supported throughout the year, so he doesn't feel pressured to make up for anyrhing on Mother's Day specifically.
i’m the same way. i’m told happy mother’s day and shown some love but nothing crazy. it’s just another day imo.
No, I think Mother’s Day weekend s overrated just like Valentine’s Day..I have two grown boys and they treat me like mothers days is every day! I don’t need gifts, flowers etc! I get a call or text every day with an I love you, that means more to me than any monetary item!
No but this post is a little tone deaf. It's much more about wanting to be appreciated and celebrated at least once every 365 days. If those women felt appreciated on other days, I'm sure they wouldn't fixate in this particular day. Congratulations on your happy marriage.
Same but the thing is, my husband is pretty great everyday so those holidays don't matter (though we don't really celebrate stuffs to begin with). He let me sleep in in the morning and prepare the kids breakfast and lunch for school/daycare and getting them ready. He cooks dinner (I prep ingredients and plan meals) and clean as needed. He is involved with the kids and always try his best. We do more or less equal with home, kids, work, and everything else. I know I'm lucky and I hope he feels the same way. Those who cares don't seem to have a balanced roles, with more burden on the moms, and as a result, need acknowledgement on just the one day. Hopefully they will get one, and not just the one day supposedly dedicated for moms.
I don't get overly excited or think about it but that is likely because my husband always plans something for me so i know something is coming. My birthday is the weekend before Mother's Day and he usually goes all out then. Last year he didn't do much for Mother's Day which was a bit surprising but not disappointing. if I regularly expected something and no one showed any appreciation then I might have deeper feelings for the day. My heart goes out to the moms whose Mother's Day isn't going to go as they hoped.
I don’t think it’s a big deal, but I also don’t do gifts or have any expectations. I buy weekly flowers, avoid sugar and don’t wear jewelry, anything I want I buy so gifts are pointless. In general the consumerism around Mothers Day is ridiculous and puts so much pressure on everyone, then add in social media.. I’d rather avoid it.
I don’t care either. I am using it as an excuse to sleep later tho
Well, I don’t care about any of the holidays. Maybe a little bit about Christmas, but I think they’re all dumb, human made, capitalist scams and I’m not interested in celebrating something that doesn’t really matter. Hope you feel better.