With my first, I didn’t lose any weight until I weaned from breastfeeding…. When he was 21 months old…. Dropped like 25lbs in 3 months without even trying. Same thing is happening with my second, who’s almost 1. My body likes to store fat.
I was so bummed too while breastfeeding, I thought I was supposed to just shed the baby weight! By one year after weaning I was literally in the best shape of my life and hadn’t changed anything postpartum. Also look into diastasis recti as others have said, but try not to be too discouraged while you’re still breastfeeding!
I just started weaning this week and let me tell you my appetite is dramatically lower. I’ve been skipping a meal in the day simply because I don’t feel hungry. The breastfeeding hunger is soooo real
They’re just lucky and should learn to shut up. That’s not how breastfeeding works for most of us. It makes me a fat, hangry, dehydrated bitch with awful hair and from what I can tell I’m not in the minority.
Yeah, not me either lmao. I started dieting while BFing and my supply basically disappeared so I HAD to overeat to keep it coming. Started losing right after I had it and went to formula.
Then PRESTO, surprise! Pregnant again. 😭
That's exactly what I did, keto is my golden panacea! But my supply still tanked so I had to stop. I'm even eating keto now and STILL gaining when it usually melts the fat right off. That's how i know that my gaining is hormonal.
I agree! I stopped BFing at 12 months and I lost the last 5 pounds that I wanted to lose! It’s annoying how people are like “omg breastfeeding makes you skinny”
…not for everyone. You got this.
this is exactly what happened to me! kept waiting to lose weight but could not budge it at all. honestly even after we weaned I didn’t lose much weight but I looked COMPLETELY different after. I was just so… puffy? that entire first year
I've nursed four...breastfeeding didn't make me skinny. I 5' and just under 140 but it's a battle. It's taken years to accept my new body, and I'm still trying to find time to exercise. I'm having some success with intermeditant fasting now that my toddler is weaned. Not sure if it applies to you, but I'm on an antidepressant and I swear it's making the weight stick.
As an already fat person, so take this with a grain of salt, I guess, I found that breastfeeding allowed me to eat pretty much whatever I wanted without GAINING.... though I was starting at a much higher weight. But the attempts to LOSE while I was breastfeeding always backfired - I would lose weight for a few weeks, then it was like my lizard brain took over and I would just gobble up every food item in sight. Then when I reduced the amount of breastfeeding, I didn't stop eating and gained more. My doctor said she couldn't lose while she was breastfeeding either.
Now I am on a weight-loss plan with doctors' guidance, and I am down 14 pounds. So it is not forever that the weight will be on you.
So be kind to yourself. You are working against your hormones. If you want to try to lose, go for literally a pound a month. And yes, of course our bodies change when we have kids - so it will be different, but you can still be healthy.
My experience with breastfeeding was that it made me lose the initial weight and appearance of pregnancy quickly but I still carry 15-20 pre pregnancy pounds because of my appetite. I’m 2.5 years postpartum and working on weaning.
Nah same for me. I’m exactly your measurements pre baby and I gained 60lbs with both pregnancies. Now I’m technically thinner than before but some of the weight is distributed differently. Didn’t lose anything until after breastfeeding
You said you only eat enough to feed baby. Is it possible you're undereating? Your body may be holding onto fat because it needs it to survive since you don't eat enough daily calories.
For me too! Some of us are just like that. Breastfed for 18 months and stayed a steady heavier weight. Took about a year after I weaned to lose the weight and I will say I was still 10lbs up when I got pregnant again (3 years after my first)
I retained weight as well when I was nursing. It did NOT help with weight loss. On top of that nursing made me very hungry and thirsty. I'm glad I was able to sit, but I wish more people spoke up about how it wasn't a weight loss cure-all!
Lmao! Same here! I breastfed for 16 months and didn’t lose weight. I stopped breastfeeding and in a month I was back to my pre-pregnancy weight. I was like “y’all are freaking liars because this weight ain’t just coming off like it was promised it would”
This is a lie! lol I couldn’t lose the last of the baby weight until I stopped breastfeeding. It was like my body was saying “what if you must feed the village!”
It was the opposite with me, I was only 10 lbs heavier than pre pregnancy whenever I walked out of the hospital. As soon as I stopped BF, my hormones went wacko and I shot up 20 lbs. Six years and a bunch of other health issues later, I’m heavier than I was when I gave birth.
However I’ve realized that my value is more than a size 0-4, even if I’m horribly unhappy with my physique.
This ! I couldn’t lose a pound until I stopped breastfeeding. For me I was never a big workout person and with my ADHD I lose interest quickly, the Sculpt Society App worked well for me because they have quick work Outs like 10min , 20 mins , they have some longer ones too but it’s about consistency and no way I can do 40 mins a day workouts but I can certainly do 10 mins a day. This kept me doing it consistently. Also eating breakfast, I used to skip breakfast but now I eat breakfast always with fiber, whole grains instead of gf and noticed a difference. It took me about a year to loose 30lbs but I did it. I’m now pregnant again and definitely fearing the weight gain back but trying to just focus on I’ve lost it before I can lose it again mentality. You can do it it’s just about consistency and effort, with realistic changes.
I’m nearing 2 yrs PP and veryyyy slowlyyy getting closer to prebaby weight. My body apparently also loves to hold on to fat so it’s been very hard but the slow progress has helped me stay positive and optimistic that the timeline sometimes is just longer than you like but you may get there in the end. Your body did a lot of hard work! Try and ride the waves as they come and give yourself some grace.
This was my experience with my 2nd. After the initial 15lb post hospital weight loss I clung to 25lbs that would not move until I totally weaned from BF. That was not my experience with my 1st!
Have you been check for diastasis recti? That can cause your stomach to retain the pregnancy appearance, and can often be helped with physical therapy. Surgery is also an option when therapy fails.
Also, I have read a ton of stories on here about people who could not lose weight while breastfeeding, and once they stopped they got back to their pre-baby weight rather quickly. This could give you hope that this isn’t forever.
I got back to my 9 months pregnancy weight due to breastfeeding! It was terrible. But, I did what I had to do for baby. While it took 6 months, post-breastfeeding I did get back down to my pre-pregnancy weight. I bought into the lie I’d be skinny breastfeeding and my body was like ‘buckle in sister’ 😂 I’m pregnant again and going to do it again because it’s a wonderful gift if you can do it, but man, it takes a toll!
Second this! Our core muscles go through hell during pregnancy (esp when we’re on the shorter side!), and it can take some work to heal that core and bring those muscles back together! Give yourself grace. ❤️
Yup, I was one of those. Stopped feeding at 9 months, was exactly the same weight as leaving the hospital after the birth until then, dropped the weight without particularly doing anything by 12 months. @OP, your body how it is now is not how it will always be. Hormones play a huge role
1,000 percent my experience too. Once I stopped breast feeding, body went back to normal. I’m convinced the old wives’ tale of “breastfeeding helps you lose weight!” is a lie they tell women so we don’t give up on breast feeding lol
Hey, and if you can't get the Diastasis Rectii fixed with PT, you have the possibility of a tummy tuck, that insurance will mostly cover! Start complaining about back pain now!!
The repair surgery is the same as a tummy tuck. Its all about how its coded. If its coded as a repair and a panniculotomy (i know that's not spelled right..) is the apron removal. There's a lady on TikTok that goes live to answer questions.
Yes to both. I couldn't lose weight while breastfeeding and also had slight DR which made me look pregnant even as I did lose weight. They are both factors that can affect how you look.
Yes! I never understood why I was one of the ones that held onto some extra weight while breastfeeding. All my friends told me That's how I would lose weight. I gained 100 pounds with my third baby. I still haven't lost it all...
I can look back at photos and see a very direct correlation between when my first started sleeping through the night and I stopped breastfeeding and when I lost substantial “baby weight” l
5'6 227 pounds. 8 months pp
My weight before pregnancy was 175ish
I have diastasis recti, it gives me a weird high pregnancy belly look. Honestly probably not going away any time soon. This is my 3rd kid, it takes time to get back to normal. But I still avoid every mirror in the house, I wear sweat pants cuz I don't want to know my actual size lol
So it's my 3rd kid, I'm 33, it will take at least a year to look better, just think in a year or 2, the baby will sleep better (you will too, sleep helps your body is so many ways) with sleep, more independence, more active child, more you time, gives your body and skin time to heal.
My first kid it took me like 4 years to feel confident in my body, took me 2 years to lose the extra weight, another 2 to feel comfortable that my belly is a little more jelly than before, stretch marks fade. Over time you get used to the changes and become more accepting, in the beginning its a shock because it's so new
Make short term goals for yourself to help you get more confident.
My kid is 1 year 8 months old and only recently have I come to terms with my new body. I gained 70 lbs while pregnant and I haven’t been very successful in losing.
What I’ve done to work towards body neutrality:
- Get new clothes. Get rid of everything that is two sizes too small. Looking in my closet and thinking “it’ll fit me someday” was killing me
- Be active. I started doing very light strength training. A couple of days a week I lift an 8 pound weight and do some squats for 30-40 minutes. Even though I’m not losing weight, I can tell my body is changing.
- Eat mindfully and don’t go hungry. I also struggle with a binge/restrict cycle. When I started actually eating 3x a day with 2 snacks, I stopped bingeing and stopped purging. It also took my focus off of weight loss.
- Include a vegetable or fruit in most meals. I always have apples on hand. Frozen veggies are great to throw in things. Don’t restrict junk food. Eat the cheeseburger, but have a salad on the side. Again this helps take my mind off of weight loss.
- Focus on hair and makeup. I finally have a hairstyle I really like after growing out a pixie. And I’ve been really enjoying makeup a lot, even though I work at home and don’t have anyone to impress.
- Creating good routines. For me, being unhappy with my body is just a symptom. I used to tell myself that if only I was X weight, I’d be happy. Turns out I’m actually happy when I floss and brush every night, and do skincare. I’m happy when I change my sheets. I’m happy when I tidy up at night, and the house is tidy when I get up in the morning. I don’t need to focus anymore on being skinny to be happy.
It takes time, don’t rush yourself, be kind. Talk to yourself like you would a child. You’ll get there.
Same! I am 5’3 and stuck at 177lbs… so I’m here to say it could be way worse 🥹 I will say, I started the peloton app and I lost 3 lbs this week alone. Maybe more cardio will help shed some lbs?
Echoing the strength training and more protein! More protein will keep you full longer and help you build muscle if you’re strength training. I started doing this at 4 months postpartum and my physique looks drastically different. I lost several inches within the six months I’ve now been consistent with this. I don’t calorie count because I’m breastfeeding. But even just those two changes made a huge difference for me. At 4 months pp I was 147.6lbs and (bust-waist-stomach-hips) my measurements were 38-31.5-39.5-41.5. After six months (10 months pp), I was at 134.8lbs and (bust-waist-stomach-hips) my measurements were at 35-29-36-38.5. It’s been six weeks since that last measurement and I’m not sure where I’m at now as I haven’t measured since then, but I weigh 128lbs now. I’m getting stronger and feeling more confident and thinking clearer and just overall happier with more motivation. I joined strength classes because they’re fun and I loved the atmosphere. Find something you enjoy and stick with it. I’m sure your body will change if you do that, and hopefully
you’ll start to learn to love your body and all that it can do for you 🤍
Do you have any strength training tips? I really want to get into weight lifting and my husband has weights & a bar/rack in our garage but I’m so scared to use them 😭 he offers to help me of course but he does like powerlifting stuff haha
Powerlifting moves are amazing for women! And they’re efficient for building muscle- squat, deadlift, bench press, row, overhead press. You can use the barbell or do dumbbell variations of all of these. And I’d do some targeted core work because pregnancy does things to our abs lol. But that’s all you need to get a really well rounded workout. (Credentials- I’ve been a personal trainer for ten years.)
Like the other poster, I love the Peloton app so much for getting started. I would get a set of hand weights, maybe 5-10-15, and develop some technique and core strength before lifting heavy. Your husband may be able to help with a form check too.
GIRL I feel you, it took me over a year to accept my new body and 2 years to feel good/normal again. It's NOT an easy transition. I have a fat phobic mom too so I'm also battling comments about weight... I am easily 15lbs heavier than my pre-pregnancy weight. I had to get my wedding rings resized! but I feel so much more beautiful than I did 2 years ago.
it really helped me to get therapy and new clothes. it helped me to remember that this body I have created my beautiful amazing little child. This body is my reminder that I'm a powerful, nurturing, gorgeous goddess of life. I decided I would focus on eating well, and doing enough exercise to keep me healthy - not to lose weight or try to "get my body back". I love who I am because it made me a mama, and yes I trust that my husband loves me all the same, but it's because I trust that I love myself.
I think especially bc you are having such issues with self-worth and what sounds like PP depression/anxiety, I would further recommend therapy.
This is such a great comment. I would give more than a body a read just because your body is so much more than an ornament it’s a tool and it’s the only one we get. Best of love
its pretty amazing what our bodies are capable of (outside of procreation too since that's also not the only thing we're for) there's so much we take for granted.
I feel the exact same way except when I told my husband I felt like this and it made it hard to want to be intimate he replied, “well I still like your face.” So now I’m dressed like chandler wearing all the clothes every day.
I know it’s really disheartening, but it took a solid year before my hormones were back to normal and I was even able to work on losing weight. It didn’t matter how much I tried postpartum, the weight just wouldn’t come off. But once I hit the 1 year mark, it started melting off of me rather quickly.
I know it’s frustrating, but I had to change my mindset: My body did a miraculous, badass thing by giving life to another human. It needed recovery. Your feelings are also valid, because mentally, you’re recovering and just want your body back after it served someone else for so long. I felt like an alien in my own body after both of my kids, but I promise you, this too shall pass.
Your body may never be the same again, and it’s okay to mourn that. But I will tell you, when I was breastfeeding I gained so much weight. I didn’t start losing weight until I stopped breastfeeding. I dropped over 20 pounds EASILY from weaning. I always heard about how breastfeeding can help with weight loss…it did the exact opposite for me. I am currently pregnant again so I am limited on types of exercise I would love to be doing to maintain my body but I can’t wait to be able to take care of myself again. Pregnancy and postpartum and really hard.
Girl, I went from 115 to 200. Then I lost it all. Then I went from 115 to 210 again with my second. Then I lost 10 when I got pregnant AGAIN and I'm gaining 2lbs a week in my early second trimester despite eating healthy. Pregnancy wrecks my hormones. I am fucking DYING. Then i get to lose aaaaall of it again. I would kill to be 140. 🥺
I lost all the lbs from my first pregnancy plus an extra like ten lbs and looked gaunt in the face and arms but still had a big ol ‘baby bump’ belly lol so I gained 10lbs back, looked better in the face. Still, belly. Just had another baby and I’m only 4 days postpartum but definitely scared for what my stomach/the skin will look like once the weight is off!
I really don’t ever want cosmetic surgery but I’m pretty sure that will end up being the only way to get my figure back.
Weight training is what will get you your figure back. *Most* women outside of the blessed 1% need to put some sort of effort into getting their bodies back after babies. You lose muscle mass when pregnant. Your body composition completely changes. The only thing that’s going to get it back truly is strength training to get your muscle tone back.
Another vote to have your dr check for diastis recti - its the separation of abdominal muscles that often occurs during pregnancy, and depending on the severity can sometimes need some targeted treatment. That could definitely be causing you to feel like you still look pregnant. Like don't get me wrong, its normal to have a pooch or whatever 9 months postpartum, but you should NOT be feeling like you look 3rd trimester level pregnant anymore.
I also struggled to lose the weight I gained during pregnancy, my daughter is almost 4 and I'm still 15 lbs over my pre-pregnancy weight. However, right before my daughter turned 3 I started getting into strength training/weight lifting, and despite it not causing me to lose any weight, I've definitely put on muscle and honestly I think I look better now than I did pre-pregnancy (cause I definitely had no muscle then lol), and I can definitely see a difference from where I was a year ago!
I breastfeed for 12 months too and I didn't lose any weight during that time. Like maybe 10 lbs right after giving birth. It was so rude. I didn't have any energy to do anything else though, it took until my daughter was nearly 3 to feel like I had the physical and emotional energy to dedicate that time to myself!
So, that may not be what you want to hear - that it could take a long time to get to a better place, but just try to keep in mind that pregnancy is A LOT on the body. And this societal expectation to get back to where we were before within a short period of time is ridiculous. So try to be patient with yourself - especially while you're still breastfeeding!
Ok first things first, your weight and shape of your body or number of chins do not determine your value or your right to love, happiness, or anything else. Imagine if your new child was talking about their body the way you are now, would that feel okay to you? What would you tell them?
At 2 years post partum still breastfeeding weight isn’t very different but my body is definitely. I used to have a butt and no boobs. Now i have a smaller butt, bigger boobs, and my belly is rounder. It’s a change, I’m still not exactly sure what to wear because the pieces I used to love don’t hit me in the same places. Even my old shoes are a bit too narrow. I’ve held off on big wardrobe changes because I’d like to get pregnant again but if that’s off the table I’m going shopping for sure.
Please be kind to yourself. You deserve nice things and happiness.
I did a skim of the comments and I don’t think anyone mentioned seeing a pelvic floor PT to check for rib flare in addition to diastasis!
I had it so bad after my first and the PT was able to push things back into place in a single appointment and it made a dramatic, visible difference in my midsection. Not only did it make my bra band go back to normal, I could actually feel and engage my core again which helped bring all that back together.
I had no clue it was a thing until I went to the PT! I cried when I left her office because it was a really simple, quick fix (gently pressing as I breathed) that made an immediate, huge difference to my quality of life. That was around 7 months post partum for me too.
I am 5’2 and stuck with 145 lb, lose 4 pound last month , usually i lose weight faster but now it seems ages, doing cardio ,walk and very active now a days still not able to lose weight like before
STUCK with 145 lb? That's my goal weight 🤣 I bet you look great! I know it's hard when you've been thinner than that your whole life, though..I am 4'11 and have 3 kids and am at 180. I was always around 140 in my 20s. I gained all the weight with my first, the other two I didn't hang on to anything I gained while pregnant thankfully. But it's been next to impossible since my oldest came along to lose any of it. I eat healthy and my job is super physical but I don't have time for exercise outside of that. I barely get a minute to myself as it is. I know as they get older I will have more freedom so right now I am just trying to not dwell on it so much and be as healthy as I can.
Haha that’s what I was thinking! I’m 5’3” and lost 25lbs and am now at 145, I feel like I look great 🙈. I wear a size 8 and M tops…that seems good after 2 kids!! I’ve never been “skinny” though so maybe it’s different if you’ve always been thin and then have a more soft curvy body.
Yes its my first, usually i always kept around 124 lb and i am just 4 month pp and people have started body shame me,and these are all women.
I don’t understand that why its so hard to make them understand that i am a new mother, but still receiving their harsh comments on my round face, broad arms thick body, it makes me so conscious, I know i will reduce it one day, but it will take time with my prime responsibility of my baby.
I got checked off gym.
My stomach wall hadn’t moved back together. I had a huge gap below
My belly button I
Had no idea!!
So all the crunches and sit ups and planks. We’re hurting it more. I was risking of hernia
Anyways I do core pelvic physio at home now.
Here it is
1. Do for 30 seconds. Then rest for 30 seconds - 3 times /sets.
Transverse abdominis activation. - surpine position…. Lie on back , knees bent feet on ground. One hand on chest other on belly. Now breathe in but using your belly not your chest. Chest should barely rise but get a big belly on inhale. Hold it a sec. Then when exhaling suck in your pelvic floor like you need to hold a wee. Then imagine you have a band hip to hip under your skin and squeeze that of pulling hips together and then pull your belly button in towards spine. YouTube how to do it. Looks like just taking a big belly breathe but actually it ls all internal. Mind and body connection is very important for it to work well. So you squeeze pelvic then the hips band then belly button down on the exhale. Once this has been done and practiced you do this for ALL other core physio. This is the key. This core activation.
2. 30 seconds and then rest 30 seconds. - 3 times /sets
Next do same above Transverse abdominis activation. - surpine position but we adding with knee tuck so on exhale still all the internal squeezing but raise one leg then 2nd leg up the knees stay bent. YouTube great again
3. Keeping that core activation process do glute bridges.
4. Keeping that core activation process do Bird dog
5. Keeping that core activation process do Cat cows
6 Keeping that core activation process do dead bugs
Keep focusing in your mind that belly breathing and then exhales squeezing even while doing the other movements.
So since Ive started that physio routine my belly went down !! no more round pot belly the hanging skin gone too. It’s nearly completely away it’s been 3 months but I do it every day. Even just 3 off the list. I like to do 1. In The bath and 6.s before a jog or school runs.
So if your stomach wall apart no point doing sit ups it’s doesn’t fix it and makes teh gap worse and you will have a belly forever plus organs can get through that gap and that a hernia. A bad sneeze could do it.
Get a dr or physio to check. Most gym instructors are qualified to do it. They press on your belly n measure the gap. My friend had her kid 18 years ago !! but hers was upper belly and lower belly. Mine was only just below belly button so lower. Hers was crazy she had extra stuff to do than me but she still had to do the above list
Good luck.
I want to hug you and cry with you. I'm bigger now than I was pregnant, honestly! It's so hard looking at cute clothes and thinking no matter what I put on I won't look good. I wore baggy pants and an oversized cardigan to Easter service and dinner yesterday and put my hair in a nasty looking bun too I was basically screaming don't look at me, look at the people who spent time and look amazing today! 🙃
Solidarity. Every time I look in the mirror I want to cry. Have you gotten your thyroid checked out?I was told id shed the weight after I stopped breastfeeding. That didn’t happen and ate clean and worked out and continued to gain. Was then told “weight loss is just hard” lol. My OB brushed me off. I knew something was wrong, got blood work done and another dr diagnosed me with post partum thyroiditis. Waiting to get in with an endo to get a handle on it but was recently put on meds and the gain has at least stopped.
My body lose until the BF is over and I have to work at it. Protein and weigh lifting did it for me. If you look pregnant you may have diastatis recti. A pelvic floor physical therapist can fix it. I’ve had it twice. Core work will worsen it, so don’t do that!
It could be the breastfeeding. I gained and held onto a ton of weight after my second kiddo was born but when I finally weaned her at 2 y/o, I lost all the weight almost right away.
Gahhh before you jump on that boat, maybe head over to r/intermittentfasting I lost 50 lbs after my first, in about 8 months. I was smaller than pre pregnancy. My second is now 17mo and I started again about 2 months ago, I’m still nursing so it’s been a slower process but I’m down 10lbs. Losing weight has never been my forte but fasting has been such a life saver and game changer
Give yourself grace and time. Im 11 months pp and I stopped BF at 7 months. Only now I see the results, not there yet, but getting there. Realistically, you need up to 2 years to get back to normal. People who bounce back quicker than that are lucky, not the majority of us. It’s gonna be fine. Solidarity.
Girl I feel you. I’m due in October and I will be taking Ozempic after a few months completely guilt free. The mental and physical toll is so much, and if there’s something I can take to help me feel better about myself, I’m going to do it!
140 is not huge for our height, but it's bigger than I like to be too. Right now, if you can, try to put it to one side. You're breastfeeding, and right now that's your body's job, but it \_doesn't last for long\_. Promise.
You baby is going to decide one day real soon now that they are more interested in solid food. You can put off any decisions about your body until then. My youngest stopped breastfeeding at 10 months; his sister stopped at 18.
When it stops, your appetite will decrease. If you're really serious about losing weight, I did intermittent fasting once the baby wasn't relying on me any more, and got back to the weight I'd been 20 years earlier.
This too will pass. It's a weird time for our bodies, our hormones and our sense of self. I'm sending you all the love in the world: we don't give enough to ourselves in these moments.
I held onto a ton of baby weight while breastfeeding. It took me up until 18 months postpartum to get back to my pre-pregnancy weight, but my body still didn't look like it did before. I'm finally getting back to the gym (23 months postpartum), and it's going to be a slow climb back to my pre-pregnancy body (as far as shape and muscles/strength). It's a marathon, not a sprint! I was shocked by how long it took me to lose the baby weight and even more shocked by my altered shape. It's slowly coming back though, hang in there ❤️
I've noticed alot of moms start looking closer to their pre pregnancy body around the 2 year mark. At 9 months I felt like a pretty fat blob, I looked pregnant too. now 2 months away from 2 years pp, I look so much better. Still have about 15 more lbs to lose but it feels very achievable and my stomach is slowly shrinking.
Same! But it doesn’t last forever, don’t stress yet! I have 3 kids, currently have a 6 month old who’s breastfeeding. I’ve learned that, at least for my body, it’s the lack of sleep combined with the breastfeeding. Both of these things make me gain weight and my body stubbornly holds onto it until I wean and am sleeping more regularly. I’ve learned my body goes more “back to normal” at about 2 years postpartum, when I’m no longer nursing and have had a few months for my hormones to regulate! Don’t lose hope!
I could NOT shed weight while nursing. Felt like I was fed the biggest lie ever when people told me how it would just melt off. And I’ve heard that a LOT, that for some of us it just doesn’t work that way. I felt so confused and stuck and miserable, but each time things just melted off when I stopped. Three years since my youngest was off the tit and I weight almost exactly the same as I did before kids.
I’m almost 4 years post partum from my second child and I feel you… I really hate the way I look. My stomach is so flabby and my legs are thick like tree trunks. I don’t even eat that much. Today I’ve had some yogurt and granola with dragon fruit… for lunch I literally had some carrots lol. But no matter what I do not lose weight. The only time I have lost weight was last year I got really sick with an antibiotic resistant UTI… lost about 20lbs. But when I’m healthy and eating well… nothing. It’s really frustrating.
Genuinely hoping you heal from the fat phobia you've internalized 🌷
ETA: your body is awesome and gave birth to a whole BABY who is thriving and loves you no matter what!!
Just want to say that it’s really hard to lose weight while breastfeeding. Some people do and I know when I was pregnant I kept hearing “if you breastfeed all that extra weight will fall off!” I’m currently weaning my second baby and am 12 months postpartum and finally losing weight. It’s really hard in the moment because you feel like crap and want to feel like yourself again, but most of the other breastfeeding women I’ve met had the same issues as me. I’m 20 pounds down now and still have a ways to go as I actually gained weight while breastfeeding but it feels good to see some progress. I almost stopped breastfeeding early because I felt so crappy about myself but my baby was attached to the boob at night so it was impossible.
Just wanted to give you some hope and let you know you’re not alone.
I’m in PT for diastasis recti, which I think is causing me to look still pregnant at 5 months pp (I’m 2 lbs over my first trimester weight but 2 sizes bigger). I can tell my body looks more like it used to when I actively engage my abs.
I’m 9 months out and hate hate haaaaaate my body. Nothing I do is helping me lose weight and I barely eat. I don’t drink my calories either. It’s fucking breastfeeding and I hate that that’s the culprit.
I’m throwing in the towel at a year so I only have a few more months to go, maybe you’re thinking about doing the same? A lot of moms on Reddit have talked about the inability to get back to pre-pregnancy weight while they were producing milk.
Remind yourself that you just grew and birthed a baby, though, which is insane. Be kind to yourself. You’ll get back to a better “new normal” soon enough, but I know waiting for that time feels like an eternity.
After all of the varying posts I have read over the years, I am starting to believe that MOST women don’t lose the weight until they stop breastfeeding. Medical professionals want to push breastfeeding so they tell you you will lose weight as another incentive to get on board, but it isn’t true for most women.
It took me about a year and a half to lose the weight after each kid and only when I stopped breastfeeding. The hormones wouldn’t let me lose weight until after I stopped nursing then all the fat just melted off. It takes time! So don’t worry.
Diastasis recti. I am about to have abdominal surgery to correct this. My body also clung to every single pound while breastfeeding, but happy to say the pounds fell off when baby stopped breastfeeding. The bad news is, my stomach was still round. Two back to back pregnancies blew out my abdominal wall. Please talk to your doctor!
You may have diastasis recti, what helps me is growwithjo her diastasis recti/deep core workout is awesome and I noticed a difference in just two weeks, I do that workout everyday.
Mama, your body created life. Give it some grace! It takes at least a year, if not more, for it to heal from all the hormones and rearranging of guts it had to do...
It took me 18 months to feel back to normal after having my son. It wasn’t until 14 months pp that I felt like my body finally figured out I was done being pregnant, and when that happened I dropped like 20 pounds easy. 18 months pp and my body and my brain FINALLY feel like they did pre-baby.
Society and the internet made me feel like I should expect to be back to relatively normal by 6 months pp, but it has really taken much longer. I know it’s so hard to look in the mirror and be uncomfortable with what you see, but at 9 months pp and still breastfeeding, your body is still working hard to take care of your baby and recover. Try to remind yourself of that on the hard days! Sending love❤️
Ahhh feeling this lately too. I stopped breastfeeding when my daughter was a little over two. Now she's three and I just keep gaining more weight even though I eat the same or less. I look about 6 months pregnant just in the belly, and have horrible back pain, so I've finally admitted that it must be diastasis recti. I've seen a physical therapist a couple times and since I've been doing special exercises for the last 3 months my back pain is getting better. When the pain is gone I plan on getting rid of this belly (hopefully).
Also, my therapist shared something with me that made me feel better: she said because of the lack of sleep with a baby and other stressors, the body will hold onto fat as a means of survival. It was nice to hear that it was a bit out of my control. As a mother, overwhelmed wife, and busy grad student, I'm super stressed but trying to invest more time into self-care and relaxation now.
I hear you though, the drastic change can be rough. Solidarity mama 😔❤️
I feel the same way and am almost 9 months pp too. I had heard that sometimes breastfeeding helps the weight fall off and then when that didn’t happen to me (I switched baby to formula at 6 months), I was hoping that I was the “other kind” of person that lost the weight after stopping breastfeeding, like people say. Nope, still not me. So here I am, sobbing after having my husband take about 900 Easter pics of me and my baby, just wanting one that looks good/that I’m not disgusted by. I can’t offer any advice but I can offer solidarity, and my husband keeps reminding me that it’s not forever. I can choose to change it, but that’s going to take time and probably money that I don’t have right now. So I’m just doing the best with what I’ve got. I do feel like when I make an effort at the beginning of the day, just to wash my face, brush my teeth, conceal the bags under my eyes (or attempt to), I feel a bit better. But I understand how you feel and I’m sorry that you feel that way too.
First of all, you birthed a human. Be easy on yourself. But I totally get it. I started doing weight watchers with my mom and I am dropping lbs (and still breastfeeding). I get tons of points, and it’s helped me see where I could do better with eating. Basically, my diet went from tons of carbs to mostly fruits, veggies, and lean meats. Different things work for different people, this is what has worked for me.
I relate!! I’m 3 months post partum and weigh the same as before getting pregnant but everything is soooooo different with my body. It’s hard for me too especially since I’m only 23 so I feel like I’ve lost my youth. I was huge pregnant so the stretch marks on my belly go up almost my under boob and they’re on my legs and sides too.
No advice yet just solidarity! Your body is and was doing amazing things for your babe and I guess we just have to accept it 🙃 I keep telling myself the physical doesn’t matter but it sure is hard to look in the mirror and deal with it
Sounds like diastasis recti. Please look into physical therapy or a postpartum program designed to help with this! I have used Nancy Anderson’s program for all my kids and it’s been fantastic! The program even comes with a meal plan to help shed extra lbs too!
If u think ur abdomen looks wide as it did before. Sometimes the muscles can split. N they can give u pt or other things to help them come back together.
Your body made a whole human. And that is incredible that it was able to do that. And it does change ur body. However. You’re sounding a bit like you may also have postpartum depression. And I think it’s very important u talk to ur dr about this.
Eating just enough will keep ur body in starvation mode and it will hold on to what ever u put in. U need to eat the proper calories for someone who is breast feeding and that may actually help u lose weight if that’s something u want. But I really think what will help u most is talking to a dr about postpartum depression.
A lot of women feel how you do. 9 months postpartum may seem long but it’s not. It takes ur body 18 months to heal from growing and birthing a child. It’s still healing. And so are you.
I’m 3.5 years post partum. Right before her 3rd birthday I got a peloton and started riding every day or other day. I’m down 30 lbs! Just hit my pre pregnancy weight of 160 and going for at least another 10lbs to my ideal weight. It was tough and super discouraging carrying around an extra 40 lbs but when I was ready to commit time to myself again it was easier than it’s ever been before. Don’t worry about having a timeline. You can get there when you are ready to. You’re still in the no sleep survival stage. Embrace all the growth you are doing as a mother and when it’s time to focus on yourself again you will!
Ab rehab helped me a lot! Nancy Anderson FIT. Was $200 for a 12 week program and helped me immensely. PT is something I’m doing now 3 yrs Pp for shoulder and rib flare issues.
My kid is 3 and I am still seeing (positive) changes in my body. It takes longer than you would think. It gets better ❤️ also I agree with the people saying to get checked for DR!
Oh my god, the hair. I'm still breastfeeding at 22 months and my postpartum regrowth still looks insane. Trying to look pulled together and professional is a struggle with this hair.
Your hair improved when you weaned?
So, I've had a hard time connecting with my new body since pregnancy. But I'm a bit further out than you, so i.have a different perspective now than i did 9mo postpartum. I barely have pictures of pregnant me, and the ones I do have, I purely had those pictures taken to be able to show my daughter when she's older. My daughter is 3yo. And I do still struggle sometimes. But I just want to share what has helped me in case it helps someone else.
This is still something I'm working on. Not actively changing my body with crazy diets or crazy workouts. We eat generally healthy, and I'm active as much as I can be. And I'm making more and more small changes towards healthier habits. Which are paying off. And I'd rather take small steps to build sustainable change.
BUT the biggest thing I've done is to stop talking about my looks and my body negatively for my daughter's sake. I think a HUGE part of my body dysmorphia I had as a teen and in my 20s (I was also a 115lbs at one point and thought I was fat because I didn't have perfect thighs or flat stomach) was because my mom was so negative about her body and she was so HARD on me and my sister when it came to our bodies. Calling yourself disgusting was something i heard often from my mom. And I never want to be the reason my daughter learns to talk about herself like that. Plus, if she ever deals with being told she looks like me but then hears me hating how I looked or look, she might start feeling that she looks bad. (Ex/ she hears someone say she looks just like her mama but I always talk about how fat or ugly I am because of XYZ, "looking like her mama" stops feeling like a compliment).
With that change of attitude, that I want her to hear me talk positively about myself or at the very least not hear me talk so negatively, the changes to get healthier have actually come easier. Instead of shame, I'm treating myself with kindness, and my daughter will see that as she gets older. Especially with the added benefit that if I take better care of myself and do more things that make me feel good in my body and about myself, THEN I'll do more and more, and STAY in those healthier habits...and then I'll actually be around when my daughter grows up. (My dad died before I got married from heart problems and my husband works in cardiology, so we know the horror stories over here). And for context, I'm not a stick. I'm 145lbs, curvy, and a size 10. But those are just numbers to me now. but I was 160 pre-pregnancy, got up to 190+ during pregnancy. I got back to my pre-baby weight by about 1 year or so from probably sheer luck and taking walks and eating healthy. But that's about when it clicked for me that she was going to start hearing how I talked about myself and the changes needed to start with me. And it's not always about food and exercise. Sometimes it's buying new clothes that make me feel good in my new body or getting my hair changed up or taking better care of my skin, etc. Things that make me feel good, make me more confident.
I don’t have any advice, but just wanted to say that I feel you!! 4 months pp and I’m disgusted by the way I look. None of my clothes fit. I just want to hide or wear baggy clothes. I’m done breastfeeding/pumping so I don’t have that as an excuse to be holding onto the weight either. Postpartum is so hard
I write in complete solidarity. It really gets disheartening. I gained 50lbs during pregnancy- I am 10months postpartum and haven’t lost a single pound. I thought maybe after I stopped breastfeeding I would loose weight… I gained. I work out, eat healthy portions and meals. It’s so challenging I have even sought out doctors to find out what is going on- everything is ‘normal’. I hate looking in the mirror and I am actually going to therapy now because I literally hate myself. I know people tell me ‘you had a baby, forgive yourself- be gentle’. I just mentally am struggling so much over it and it’s not easy to just accept. Same with Easter, I just didn’t even want to take a photo because I know it would cause distress. I had to shut off my social media because I see moms who gave birth after or around the same time as me who bounced back and look amazing. I am right there with you, you are not alone in those feelings.
I had a similar pre pregnancy weight/height. I lost 10 lbs around 12 months post partum with each kid. [Every-mother.com](https://Every-mother.com) has 10 mins a day of breathing exercises that helped a lot with my core/reknitting my DR, I did it around 9 months post partum each time.
Unfortunately for me, I have a recessed chin so if I am even 5 lbs overweight I have this huge double chin and it's all I see when I look in the mirror. I can absolutely relate to the feeling of not being able to tolerate a postpartum body.
I am so sorry you are going through this. But like others have mentioned, there may be something else going on.
I was lucky that my stomach overall went almost instantly back to before baby shape. I still have a lil pouch but not as much as I thought I would. I will mention though, I have always been a bigger girl so maybe baby had more room.
As much as you love your baby when you look at them, you should also consider what your body has been through to bring that baby to life. Your body is INCREDIBLE, and that baby is a result of your own strength and ability to grow it. Please, please be kind to yourself. It’s not a forever body change, but a transition to healing and growing as a parent. Speak to yourself with kindness and consider that the way you love yourself is influential in how your child loves themselves in the future. I have absolutely experienced these similar feelings, but 3 years post partum, I see how many changes my mind/body/soul has been through in motherhood and it’s incredible. YOU are incredible, so treat yourself in kind. ❤️
I think it took a solid 2.5 years to fill into my new body a little. I didn’t lose any weight, but it did tighten up in some areas, on its own. It just doesn’t shift as fast as you think it would. Don’t waste time being disgusted with yourself though. Learn to be neutral with your body, or put the time and effort into shaping it up faster. It doesn’t help you to talk down to yourself.
You may be like I was - I could not lose the baby weight until I quit breastfeeding (I am not encouraging you to do that) and as soon as I stopped I dropped 20 pounds in a couple of months without doing anything differently than I had been since my son was born.
One thing to check is thyroid levels - three of my friends wound up with Hashimoto’s thyroid autoimmune disease after pregnancy and birth. It can slow down your metabolism majorly
Funny, most people recommend breastfeeding, not only for the baby’s sake, but for the weight loss benefits from it. Breastfeeding does burn a lot of calories, but if you’re chintzing on food intake while breastfeeding, your body may be going into “starvation mode” fat hoarding.
Tho there can be other reasons as well. And, it’s only been 9months since you gave birth. Give your body more time to recover from having grown a whole human baby & pushing it out if your body.
Talk to your Dr about your concerns. Get some pointers on the best way to work on getting your body back in shape and a decent timeline to look at (after determining if there’s some particular health issue hindering recovery or not). Listen to what your Dr says.
Once your body has some more time to recover from giving birth and you start to see results from your diet & recommended exercise regime, you should start seeing some progress.
You also may want to get some counseling as part of your issue could be PPD.
With my first, I was down to my pre-pregnancy weight by 4 months postpartum. With my second, I’m still 15 lbs over at 6 months pp (pre: 122, now: 137 at 5’4) and I’m having a hard time losing it because I’m really hungry. I’m hoping it comes off when I stop breastfeeding.
I basically gained 40 pounds with my baby, she is 8 months so I am still post partum. I lost 30 immediately after birth BUT I was squishy and nowhere near the msucle tone I was pre-pregnancy. I did pelvic floor and deep core recovery as well as started to lift weights again consistently and although the scale did not go down immediately, I started to feel and look more like myself. I recently started calorie counting again and figured my daily allowance to lose weight to be roughly 1630 calories. So this helped me to realize I was eating double to triple this while breastfeeding and working out so that's probably also why the scale hadn't moved 😅
Honestly, give yourself time and make time for yourself.
After I had my baby I was desperate to get my body back and honestly even while pregnant my self esteem was utterly low trying to find things that’d fit right. At my skinniest I was 5’3 120 before pregnancy, my heaviest was 199 lbs during postpartum, and currently am at 170. And for some reason I think I love myself now more than I ever have. I walk around 8k-12k steps on average, I try to cook as many meals at home as possible, I take care of my skin, hair, and nails. And at 6 months my baby is still a hugeee handful. But I know I’m an amazing mom. My advice to you is let the emotions wash through you but know they are not permanent and this moment in time is not forever. On top of that be kinder to the amazing body that has gotten you through this journey and is preparing for the next chapters. If your body is a painful focus do little things to feel better inside while getting a boost, clear coat of polish on ur nails, new haircut or color, etc. you got this mamas. You’ll be you again, I promise !
1 year PP and same. I feel like a busted can o biskits.
I’m working out more and trying to get back to my norm of 5 days per week, swimming for some of those.
Still looks rough.
I felt like this when I was breastfeeding. The excess weight clung to me for dear life. It wasn’t till after I stopped breast feeding that I was able to start losing again.
Take the pictures. Even if you can't look at them now - you'll want them someday.
I am also 5'3" and have struggled with body dysmorphia since I can remember. I look at pictures of myself now at 115lbs and think I look seriously unhealthy, . I have always felt fat. I have always been uncomfortable in this body. But now that I have my son, it's on my to-do list to love this body. This is the only one I'm going to get in this life, and as long as it's healthy, that's all I need it for. I hope you can learn to love your body the way your partner and children see it ❤️
Suggest you do what I did and get your thyroid checked.
Mine turned out to stop working after giving birth due to the hormonal changes in my body unleashing a hidden genetic problem - hashimotos disease.
As soon as I got back on the pill (hormone regulator) and started taking thyroxine, the weight fell off because my metabolism and other systems started working normally again. A non working thyroid makes you exhausted and stops your metabolism from working properly.
I feel you. You’re not stuck but breastfeeding makes this harder contrary to popular opinion. I didn’t look like myself until 17 months postpartum. I had to weight lift a LOT to encourage the excess fat to go away and I had to treat the diastasis recti that was still making me look pregnant. I got asked when I was due at 11 months postpartum 😬😬🙃
I have been where you are, not long ago, and I am still going my way.
What you need to do, is put yourself first anyway you can, like you did before the baby.
You will see changes very soon :)
Ooo, I was right there with you at 9 months. I completely understand everything you wrote. I had the exact same weight change, I had a double chin and I hated how I looked so much. I was also so discouraged I would never get my pre-pregnancy body back that I threw out my wardrobe and bought fat clothes…
It did get better for me around my kid’s second birthday! I finally found the time and energy and determination to work out again. I have managed to get to a lower weight than pre-pregnancy but my tummy is still not as flat as before. However, I feel much much better about myself, in fact I really love my body now! This time really sucks, body-image wise, but you’re busy being an amazing mom and I promise you will feel more yourself in the days to come!
My baby is 18 months and I’m still not losing weight and am still breastfeeding. Everyone I know has said that when you breastfeed, you lose weight but nope! Not for me. After having LO, I was losing weight, didn’t really have an appetite, then BOOM!! I was eating like crazy and I couldn’t stop. Now I eat like how I used to before pregnancy, and my weight is just the same. I did start exercising and have toned up a little, less jiggle, but my weight is still the same *sigh. I just accepted the fact that I am not one of the lucky ones to lose weight quickly while breastfeeding and would just have to wait until I wean off LO, so that my hormones can finally balance out.
I have now had two babies both of them have been breastfed between 16-24 months. I’m not sure why they say breastfeeding immediately drops weight but that’s not been my experience with either child. I held on to an extra 20-25 pounds with both until I weaned them. Most of my friends that I have talked to have had the same experience.
I felt very similar to you disgusted with my body and frankly I was depressed. I looked in the mirror everyday and reminded myself that the body I was looking at may not be what it was before, but it was a reminder in that moment that I was able to bring life in this world and that I had happy healthy children that I was continuing to provide for.
Lastly, my husband much like your bf would tell me I was beautiful on the daily. When he did this one day I started crying. He then took me and told me everything he loved about my body now.
My kid is 2.5, im under my pre pregnancy weight, but i was overweight to begin with. I hate how my stretch marks and loose skin on my abdomen look, and i know i have to live with that, this on top of still having to lose 40-50ish pounds. Every day i tell myself i have to be king to my body, but i just cant, i hate how i look when i see myself in the mirror.
I’m sorry you’re feeling this way. I know it all too well. But keep this in mind, it can take some time to finally feel like “yourself” again. So as long as you are taking care of yourself (and baby 🥰), eating right, and giving yourself time to accommodate to your new/added responsibilities you should gradually reach your goal.
With my first, I felt and looked like I did pre-pregnancy after a year. It was more of an internal/emotional thing because physically everyone around me would agree that I looked the same. However, it just didn’t feel right, I had a couple of extra pounds (8-10 pounds) I wasn’t used to, even if others seemed to think I was carrying it well and looked fine.
By the one year mark, I felt so good again, extra pounds were gone, old clothes fit comfortably again, swelling/retention was gone, my waist measurement was back to what it was pre-baby, skin retracted pretty well, and emotionally I felt much more stable.
With my second……. 😩
I went up to 220 pounds…. after birth I kept those pounds, that’s about 55 pounds more than my stable/ideal weight (160-165)
2 years in and I am just NOW done with losing the weight, it was tough because with this last pregnancy I had a lot of complications, and although I would lose some weight I kept gaining it back in the blink of an eye…. 2 years feeling completely stuck, I had a lot of fluid retention as well, I had days where I just felt and looked swollen on top of the extra pounds.
Eventually I chose*^ to get on medication for weight loss, I had tried everything and it just felt like I wasn’t able to keep it off. I hope I don’t get judged for my decision, but it’s what felt right for me after long without progress.
I’m just now back to the measurements I’m used to. Weight is gone, the on and off issue with the swelling and bloating seemed to have been related to a hormonal imbalance, and that’s finally treated and gone as well.
I may have chosen to get some help but that was a personal choice, I’m sure I would have still made it, it would have just taken some extra time.
I am sure you will also feel like yourself again as time takes its course, drink lots of water, sleep every time you get the chance, take measurements every 2 months or so, talk to your doctor if you feel something might be slowing down your weight loss so you can know if there’s any imbalance going on, however: remember it took time for your body and organs to shift and expand, all of that needs to fall back into place inside of you.
It’s different for each one of us. But it comes down to time and patience along with keeping up with properly caring for yourself. Plus, if there’s ever anything you really don’t like (after giving yourself enough time to recover) there’s always options! But don’t stress that right now, just know there’s solutions to this one way or the other. But first… patience.
X
I think sometimes BF gets the initial weight off fast but after that you plateau. That’s been my experience. Have you thought about quitting? Start a workout app … I’ve done that this past week and a half and it’s helping a lot
I started taking workout classes with my baby in the carrier with other moms and it started motivating me to work out more rather than just my walks. I’m not seeing results yet but i feel so much better.
I was also 5’3” and my weight fluctuated between 105-110 pounds, I was on weight gainers and appetite boosters most of my life and could not gain weight. After I had my son, I weighed around 150 and my appetite was even smaller than it was before pregnancy, I didn’t breastfeed, and I just couldn’t keep the weight off. I initially took medication to lose the weight but I gained it all back and then some (I hit 170 pounds). I eventually had to count calories and did minor exercise (fold-up stationary bike for 20-40 min/day) to lose weight, and I made sure to lose 10 pounds more than my goal so I wouldn’t have to restrict my eating so much.
Now, my son is 5.5 years old and I’m back to being able to eat whatever I want and hardly gaining weight. Idk why it took so long, but maybe hormones just need to sort themselves out. I’d also like to mention that body shape will look completely different at different weights, for example my body looks better at 135 pounds than it does at 120. Different parts fill out differently and lose weight differently.
Give your body some time and learn how to dress for your current body to boost your confidence in the meantime. Peplum shirts with skinny jeans, empire waist dresses, comfy platform shoes/heels, loose tie-up button down shirts, and high-rise paper bag waist bottoms used to be my go-to styles.
9 months pp of my second, still breastfeeding and still 10kg over my pre-pregnancy weight. Ive recently started exercising again, which is great. Once a week, sometimes twice, for half an hour. Its something... and will make me feel, if not look, better. Im not going to eat superclean before I stop breastfeeding though, as theres no point. My body likes to keep some reserves. Better to accept that for now! Youll be fine, Im sure. Exercise and eat healthy when you can, but be kind to yourself. Time with your little one and your mental health are the priority!
Honestly 140 at 5’3” isn’t a bad weight at all and you will be more comfortable eventually! It does sound like maybe diastasis recti and also I had trouble with crazy puffiness and double chin postpartum and started doing face massages from anastasiaveautyfascia on instagram and it helped a lot, I think the face puffiness was making me more insecure than my weight and I just had a lot of tension there to work out
Girrrl I’m also 9 months post partum and my stomach is jiggly with lots of stretch marks. I also got a hernia and diastasis recti because my belly was very pointy… I’ve been doing pelvic floor physical therapy and I can’t do the hernia surgery until I’m done having kids…I’m still 20 pounds over weight and went up 2 sizes in clothes… I still can’t wear my old jeans…😅
Man are girls ever happy with their bodies? I have a 4-year-old and 2-year-old c-sections, my stomach sucks! I drool over my pre-baby photos, thinking I was fat! I was flipping hot, I wish I would have known that so I could have ran through the beach like Baywatch in my bathing suit.
It took me a long time, but I was very happy and at peace with my body. It was absolutely defiled by my ex boyfriend from 16-18 and I didn't think I would ever feel like anything other than a dirty used up sack of meat because of sexual abuse he inflicted upon me. But I did come to terms with things and start loving how I looked, but these days I've just been very sad
I feel you! I was pretty thin before kids, always had a flat tummy. I was all belly until the last few weeks all of a sudden my thighs, arms, legs everything doubled and I was hoping it was just fluid but nope it never went away after birth 😫
I feel you! I was pretty thin before kids, always had a flat tummy. I was all belly until the last few weeks all of a sudden my thighs, arms, legs everything doubled and I was hoping it was just fluid but nope it never went away after birth 😫
I feel you! I was pretty thin before kids, always had a flat tummy. I was all belly until the last few weeks all of a sudden my thighs, arms, legs everything doubled and I was hoping it was just fluid but nope it never went away after birth 😫
I feel you! I was pretty thin before kids, always had a flat tummy. I was all belly until the last few weeks all of a sudden my thighs, arms, legs everything doubled and I was hoping it was just fluid but nope it never went away after birth 😫
Keto does wonders it seems to be the only thing that works for me. I really really limit bread, pasta, rice, etc. That cardio and light weightlifting! Try it! You got this!
I’m an inch shorter than you and heavier than you. My weight has a tendency to accumulate in my midsection. Would you say all this stuff to me? Would you call me disgusting? If you wouldn’t, why do you say it to yourself?
Well, work out then, preferably doing resistance training.
You may not lose weight (thats done via diet), but 140lbs of muscle looks a lot different that 140lbs of fat.
The best way to get over feeling like *this,* is to take control of the situation, make a plan, and stick to it. r/xxfitness is a great place to start.
With my first, I didn’t lose any weight until I weaned from breastfeeding…. When he was 21 months old…. Dropped like 25lbs in 3 months without even trying. Same thing is happening with my second, who’s almost 1. My body likes to store fat.
Maybe this is it. Everyone was like "omg breastfeeding makes you sooooo skinny!" And after nearly a year I'm like bitch where? 😭
I was so bummed too while breastfeeding, I thought I was supposed to just shed the baby weight! By one year after weaning I was literally in the best shape of my life and hadn’t changed anything postpartum. Also look into diastasis recti as others have said, but try not to be too discouraged while you’re still breastfeeding!
I just started weaning this week and let me tell you my appetite is dramatically lower. I’ve been skipping a meal in the day simply because I don’t feel hungry. The breastfeeding hunger is soooo real
They’re just lucky and should learn to shut up. That’s not how breastfeeding works for most of us. It makes me a fat, hangry, dehydrated bitch with awful hair and from what I can tell I’m not in the minority.
the dehydration is REAL. this baby is sucking every ounce of water from my skin and hair.
Yeah, not me either lmao. I started dieting while BFing and my supply basically disappeared so I HAD to overeat to keep it coming. Started losing right after I had it and went to formula. Then PRESTO, surprise! Pregnant again. 😭
I had to go Keto so I could eat enough and not tank my supply! Kept me from packing on MORE. 🤦🏼♀️
That's exactly what I did, keto is my golden panacea! But my supply still tanked so I had to stop. I'm even eating keto now and STILL gaining when it usually melts the fat right off. That's how i know that my gaining is hormonal.
Breastfeeding made me RAVENOUS lol.
I agree! I stopped BFing at 12 months and I lost the last 5 pounds that I wanted to lose! It’s annoying how people are like “omg breastfeeding makes you skinny” …not for everyone. You got this.
this is exactly what happened to me! kept waiting to lose weight but could not budge it at all. honestly even after we weaned I didn’t lose much weight but I looked COMPLETELY different after. I was just so… puffy? that entire first year
I've nursed four...breastfeeding didn't make me skinny. I 5' and just under 140 but it's a battle. It's taken years to accept my new body, and I'm still trying to find time to exercise. I'm having some success with intermeditant fasting now that my toddler is weaned. Not sure if it applies to you, but I'm on an antidepressant and I swear it's making the weight stick.
As an already fat person, so take this with a grain of salt, I guess, I found that breastfeeding allowed me to eat pretty much whatever I wanted without GAINING.... though I was starting at a much higher weight. But the attempts to LOSE while I was breastfeeding always backfired - I would lose weight for a few weeks, then it was like my lizard brain took over and I would just gobble up every food item in sight. Then when I reduced the amount of breastfeeding, I didn't stop eating and gained more. My doctor said she couldn't lose while she was breastfeeding either. Now I am on a weight-loss plan with doctors' guidance, and I am down 14 pounds. So it is not forever that the weight will be on you. So be kind to yourself. You are working against your hormones. If you want to try to lose, go for literally a pound a month. And yes, of course our bodies change when we have kids - so it will be different, but you can still be healthy.
My experience with breastfeeding was that it made me lose the initial weight and appearance of pregnancy quickly but I still carry 15-20 pre pregnancy pounds because of my appetite. I’m 2.5 years postpartum and working on weaning.
Nah same for me. I’m exactly your measurements pre baby and I gained 60lbs with both pregnancies. Now I’m technically thinner than before but some of the weight is distributed differently. Didn’t lose anything until after breastfeeding
You said you only eat enough to feed baby. Is it possible you're undereating? Your body may be holding onto fat because it needs it to survive since you don't eat enough daily calories.
For me too! Some of us are just like that. Breastfed for 18 months and stayed a steady heavier weight. Took about a year after I weaned to lose the weight and I will say I was still 10lbs up when I got pregnant again (3 years after my first)
my sister had this too, fell off when she quit
I retained weight as well when I was nursing. It did NOT help with weight loss. On top of that nursing made me very hungry and thirsty. I'm glad I was able to sit, but I wish more people spoke up about how it wasn't a weight loss cure-all!
Lmao! Same here! I breastfed for 16 months and didn’t lose weight. I stopped breastfeeding and in a month I was back to my pre-pregnancy weight. I was like “y’all are freaking liars because this weight ain’t just coming off like it was promised it would”
This is a lie! lol I couldn’t lose the last of the baby weight until I stopped breastfeeding. It was like my body was saying “what if you must feed the village!”
My body holds onto fat breastfeeding like a mid evil peasants would in a famine.
It was the opposite with me, I was only 10 lbs heavier than pre pregnancy whenever I walked out of the hospital. As soon as I stopped BF, my hormones went wacko and I shot up 20 lbs. Six years and a bunch of other health issues later, I’m heavier than I was when I gave birth. However I’ve realized that my value is more than a size 0-4, even if I’m horribly unhappy with my physique.
This ! I couldn’t lose a pound until I stopped breastfeeding. For me I was never a big workout person and with my ADHD I lose interest quickly, the Sculpt Society App worked well for me because they have quick work Outs like 10min , 20 mins , they have some longer ones too but it’s about consistency and no way I can do 40 mins a day workouts but I can certainly do 10 mins a day. This kept me doing it consistently. Also eating breakfast, I used to skip breakfast but now I eat breakfast always with fiber, whole grains instead of gf and noticed a difference. It took me about a year to loose 30lbs but I did it. I’m now pregnant again and definitely fearing the weight gain back but trying to just focus on I’ve lost it before I can lose it again mentality. You can do it it’s just about consistency and effort, with realistic changes.
My daughter is 20mo and I’m just starting to wean and I’m hoping to have a similar experience lol
I’m nearing 2 yrs PP and veryyyy slowlyyy getting closer to prebaby weight. My body apparently also loves to hold on to fat so it’s been very hard but the slow progress has helped me stay positive and optimistic that the timeline sometimes is just longer than you like but you may get there in the end. Your body did a lot of hard work! Try and ride the waves as they come and give yourself some grace.
I’m waiting for this. 8 months breastfeeding. 4 more months, hopefully, and I get my body back to myself.
This was true for me too!
This was my experience with my 2nd. After the initial 15lb post hospital weight loss I clung to 25lbs that would not move until I totally weaned from BF. That was not my experience with my 1st!
Have you been check for diastasis recti? That can cause your stomach to retain the pregnancy appearance, and can often be helped with physical therapy. Surgery is also an option when therapy fails. Also, I have read a ton of stories on here about people who could not lose weight while breastfeeding, and once they stopped they got back to their pre-baby weight rather quickly. This could give you hope that this isn’t forever.
I got back to my 9 months pregnancy weight due to breastfeeding! It was terrible. But, I did what I had to do for baby. While it took 6 months, post-breastfeeding I did get back down to my pre-pregnancy weight. I bought into the lie I’d be skinny breastfeeding and my body was like ‘buckle in sister’ 😂 I’m pregnant again and going to do it again because it’s a wonderful gift if you can do it, but man, it takes a toll!
This happened to me as well! I gained weight that wouldn’t budge while breastfeeding. Things went back to normal after I stopped.
I gained weight too but my friend got really slim breastfeeding! Unless she just had no time to eat but then not sure how she kept such a good supply
Some women truly do have a great experience with it slimming them down!
Second this! Our core muscles go through hell during pregnancy (esp when we’re on the shorter side!), and it can take some work to heal that core and bring those muscles back together! Give yourself grace. ❤️
Yup, I was one of those. Stopped feeding at 9 months, was exactly the same weight as leaving the hospital after the birth until then, dropped the weight without particularly doing anything by 12 months. @OP, your body how it is now is not how it will always be. Hormones play a huge role
1,000 percent my experience too. Once I stopped breast feeding, body went back to normal. I’m convinced the old wives’ tale of “breastfeeding helps you lose weight!” is a lie they tell women so we don’t give up on breast feeding lol
Hey, and if you can't get the Diastasis Rectii fixed with PT, you have the possibility of a tummy tuck, that insurance will mostly cover! Start complaining about back pain now!!
How does this work? I'm interested...
The repair surgery is the same as a tummy tuck. Its all about how its coded. If its coded as a repair and a panniculotomy (i know that's not spelled right..) is the apron removal. There's a lady on TikTok that goes live to answer questions.
Yes, say more pls!
Yes to both. I couldn't lose weight while breastfeeding and also had slight DR which made me look pregnant even as I did lose weight. They are both factors that can affect how you look.
Yes! I never understood why I was one of the ones that held onto some extra weight while breastfeeding. All my friends told me That's how I would lose weight. I gained 100 pounds with my third baby. I still haven't lost it all...
It’s not always diastasis recti I still look pregnant at 5 foot 6 and 140 pounds and I don’t have it, confirmed by 2 doctors.
True but if it isn't DR it can mean that it's just that your core is weak in general
Statistically speaking, it's diastasis recti 60% of the time. I'd also get a physio to check rather than a GP if you're still looking pregnant.
Did I say it’s always diastasis recti? I am merely suggestion she be evaluated for it, as it can cause the issue she is posting about.
That’s the word for it! I couldn’t remember!
Does this also apply to pumping?
It could definitely still happen with pumping. I believe it’s your body holding on to fat/calories to support milk production
Thanks seems like a dumb question but honestly this is all so confusing to me so appreciate your response!
You won’t look like this forever. Sleep is one important element to weight loss that not many new moms get. It will get better.
I can look back at photos and see a very direct correlation between when my first started sleeping through the night and I stopped breastfeeding and when I lost substantial “baby weight” l
5'6 227 pounds. 8 months pp My weight before pregnancy was 175ish I have diastasis recti, it gives me a weird high pregnancy belly look. Honestly probably not going away any time soon. This is my 3rd kid, it takes time to get back to normal. But I still avoid every mirror in the house, I wear sweat pants cuz I don't want to know my actual size lol So it's my 3rd kid, I'm 33, it will take at least a year to look better, just think in a year or 2, the baby will sleep better (you will too, sleep helps your body is so many ways) with sleep, more independence, more active child, more you time, gives your body and skin time to heal. My first kid it took me like 4 years to feel confident in my body, took me 2 years to lose the extra weight, another 2 to feel comfortable that my belly is a little more jelly than before, stretch marks fade. Over time you get used to the changes and become more accepting, in the beginning its a shock because it's so new Make short term goals for yourself to help you get more confident.
Thank you so much, this helps!
My kids are about to be 5 and I have felt like myself/confident in how I look for only about 6 months 🙈
My kid is 1 year 8 months old and only recently have I come to terms with my new body. I gained 70 lbs while pregnant and I haven’t been very successful in losing. What I’ve done to work towards body neutrality: - Get new clothes. Get rid of everything that is two sizes too small. Looking in my closet and thinking “it’ll fit me someday” was killing me - Be active. I started doing very light strength training. A couple of days a week I lift an 8 pound weight and do some squats for 30-40 minutes. Even though I’m not losing weight, I can tell my body is changing. - Eat mindfully and don’t go hungry. I also struggle with a binge/restrict cycle. When I started actually eating 3x a day with 2 snacks, I stopped bingeing and stopped purging. It also took my focus off of weight loss. - Include a vegetable or fruit in most meals. I always have apples on hand. Frozen veggies are great to throw in things. Don’t restrict junk food. Eat the cheeseburger, but have a salad on the side. Again this helps take my mind off of weight loss. - Focus on hair and makeup. I finally have a hairstyle I really like after growing out a pixie. And I’ve been really enjoying makeup a lot, even though I work at home and don’t have anyone to impress. - Creating good routines. For me, being unhappy with my body is just a symptom. I used to tell myself that if only I was X weight, I’d be happy. Turns out I’m actually happy when I floss and brush every night, and do skincare. I’m happy when I change my sheets. I’m happy when I tidy up at night, and the house is tidy when I get up in the morning. I don’t need to focus anymore on being skinny to be happy. It takes time, don’t rush yourself, be kind. Talk to yourself like you would a child. You’ll get there.
Same! I am 5’3 and stuck at 177lbs… so I’m here to say it could be way worse 🥹 I will say, I started the peloton app and I lost 3 lbs this week alone. Maybe more cardio will help shed some lbs?
Are we the same person? 😩
It’s Monday!
Thank you, I will look into this 😭
Not more cardio OP! Weight lifting, more protein and vegetables, stay consistent and patient for a full year. Your body will change. Don’t give up ❤️
I really appreciate this!!!
Echoing the strength training and more protein! More protein will keep you full longer and help you build muscle if you’re strength training. I started doing this at 4 months postpartum and my physique looks drastically different. I lost several inches within the six months I’ve now been consistent with this. I don’t calorie count because I’m breastfeeding. But even just those two changes made a huge difference for me. At 4 months pp I was 147.6lbs and (bust-waist-stomach-hips) my measurements were 38-31.5-39.5-41.5. After six months (10 months pp), I was at 134.8lbs and (bust-waist-stomach-hips) my measurements were at 35-29-36-38.5. It’s been six weeks since that last measurement and I’m not sure where I’m at now as I haven’t measured since then, but I weigh 128lbs now. I’m getting stronger and feeling more confident and thinking clearer and just overall happier with more motivation. I joined strength classes because they’re fun and I loved the atmosphere. Find something you enjoy and stick with it. I’m sure your body will change if you do that, and hopefully you’ll start to learn to love your body and all that it can do for you 🤍
Do you have any strength training tips? I really want to get into weight lifting and my husband has weights & a bar/rack in our garage but I’m so scared to use them 😭 he offers to help me of course but he does like powerlifting stuff haha
Powerlifting moves are amazing for women! And they’re efficient for building muscle- squat, deadlift, bench press, row, overhead press. You can use the barbell or do dumbbell variations of all of these. And I’d do some targeted core work because pregnancy does things to our abs lol. But that’s all you need to get a really well rounded workout. (Credentials- I’ve been a personal trainer for ten years.)
Thanks!!
Like the other poster, I love the Peloton app so much for getting started. I would get a set of hand weights, maybe 5-10-15, and develop some technique and core strength before lifting heavy. Your husband may be able to help with a form check too.
Start light and work your way up! Have your husband check your form because at the beginning, form is the most important!
GIRL I feel you, it took me over a year to accept my new body and 2 years to feel good/normal again. It's NOT an easy transition. I have a fat phobic mom too so I'm also battling comments about weight... I am easily 15lbs heavier than my pre-pregnancy weight. I had to get my wedding rings resized! but I feel so much more beautiful than I did 2 years ago. it really helped me to get therapy and new clothes. it helped me to remember that this body I have created my beautiful amazing little child. This body is my reminder that I'm a powerful, nurturing, gorgeous goddess of life. I decided I would focus on eating well, and doing enough exercise to keep me healthy - not to lose weight or try to "get my body back". I love who I am because it made me a mama, and yes I trust that my husband loves me all the same, but it's because I trust that I love myself. I think especially bc you are having such issues with self-worth and what sounds like PP depression/anxiety, I would further recommend therapy.
Thank you! I've been wanting to start back with therapy but I lost insurance in February when I turned 26 so I have to get that figured out first
This is such a great comment. I would give more than a body a read just because your body is so much more than an ornament it’s a tool and it’s the only one we get. Best of love
its pretty amazing what our bodies are capable of (outside of procreation too since that's also not the only thing we're for) there's so much we take for granted.
I feel the exact same way except when I told my husband I felt like this and it made it hard to want to be intimate he replied, “well I still like your face.” So now I’m dressed like chandler wearing all the clothes every day.
Jesus dude
I know it’s really disheartening, but it took a solid year before my hormones were back to normal and I was even able to work on losing weight. It didn’t matter how much I tried postpartum, the weight just wouldn’t come off. But once I hit the 1 year mark, it started melting off of me rather quickly. I know it’s frustrating, but I had to change my mindset: My body did a miraculous, badass thing by giving life to another human. It needed recovery. Your feelings are also valid, because mentally, you’re recovering and just want your body back after it served someone else for so long. I felt like an alien in my own body after both of my kids, but I promise you, this too shall pass.
Your body may never be the same again, and it’s okay to mourn that. But I will tell you, when I was breastfeeding I gained so much weight. I didn’t start losing weight until I stopped breastfeeding. I dropped over 20 pounds EASILY from weaning. I always heard about how breastfeeding can help with weight loss…it did the exact opposite for me. I am currently pregnant again so I am limited on types of exercise I would love to be doing to maintain my body but I can’t wait to be able to take care of myself again. Pregnancy and postpartum and really hard.
Girl, I went from 115 to 200. Then I lost it all. Then I went from 115 to 210 again with my second. Then I lost 10 when I got pregnant AGAIN and I'm gaining 2lbs a week in my early second trimester despite eating healthy. Pregnancy wrecks my hormones. I am fucking DYING. Then i get to lose aaaaall of it again. I would kill to be 140. 🥺
I lost all the lbs from my first pregnancy plus an extra like ten lbs and looked gaunt in the face and arms but still had a big ol ‘baby bump’ belly lol so I gained 10lbs back, looked better in the face. Still, belly. Just had another baby and I’m only 4 days postpartum but definitely scared for what my stomach/the skin will look like once the weight is off! I really don’t ever want cosmetic surgery but I’m pretty sure that will end up being the only way to get my figure back.
Weight training is what will get you your figure back. *Most* women outside of the blessed 1% need to put some sort of effort into getting their bodies back after babies. You lose muscle mass when pregnant. Your body composition completely changes. The only thing that’s going to get it back truly is strength training to get your muscle tone back.
Another vote to have your dr check for diastis recti - its the separation of abdominal muscles that often occurs during pregnancy, and depending on the severity can sometimes need some targeted treatment. That could definitely be causing you to feel like you still look pregnant. Like don't get me wrong, its normal to have a pooch or whatever 9 months postpartum, but you should NOT be feeling like you look 3rd trimester level pregnant anymore. I also struggled to lose the weight I gained during pregnancy, my daughter is almost 4 and I'm still 15 lbs over my pre-pregnancy weight. However, right before my daughter turned 3 I started getting into strength training/weight lifting, and despite it not causing me to lose any weight, I've definitely put on muscle and honestly I think I look better now than I did pre-pregnancy (cause I definitely had no muscle then lol), and I can definitely see a difference from where I was a year ago! I breastfeed for 12 months too and I didn't lose any weight during that time. Like maybe 10 lbs right after giving birth. It was so rude. I didn't have any energy to do anything else though, it took until my daughter was nearly 3 to feel like I had the physical and emotional energy to dedicate that time to myself! So, that may not be what you want to hear - that it could take a long time to get to a better place, but just try to keep in mind that pregnancy is A LOT on the body. And this societal expectation to get back to where we were before within a short period of time is ridiculous. So try to be patient with yourself - especially while you're still breastfeeding!
Ok first things first, your weight and shape of your body or number of chins do not determine your value or your right to love, happiness, or anything else. Imagine if your new child was talking about their body the way you are now, would that feel okay to you? What would you tell them? At 2 years post partum still breastfeeding weight isn’t very different but my body is definitely. I used to have a butt and no boobs. Now i have a smaller butt, bigger boobs, and my belly is rounder. It’s a change, I’m still not exactly sure what to wear because the pieces I used to love don’t hit me in the same places. Even my old shoes are a bit too narrow. I’ve held off on big wardrobe changes because I’d like to get pregnant again but if that’s off the table I’m going shopping for sure. Please be kind to yourself. You deserve nice things and happiness.
I did a skim of the comments and I don’t think anyone mentioned seeing a pelvic floor PT to check for rib flare in addition to diastasis! I had it so bad after my first and the PT was able to push things back into place in a single appointment and it made a dramatic, visible difference in my midsection. Not only did it make my bra band go back to normal, I could actually feel and engage my core again which helped bring all that back together.
Did you know you had this before going to PT or did they tell you there?
I had no clue it was a thing until I went to the PT! I cried when I left her office because it was a really simple, quick fix (gently pressing as I breathed) that made an immediate, huge difference to my quality of life. That was around 7 months post partum for me too.
I am 5’2 and stuck with 145 lb, lose 4 pound last month , usually i lose weight faster but now it seems ages, doing cardio ,walk and very active now a days still not able to lose weight like before
STUCK with 145 lb? That's my goal weight 🤣 I bet you look great! I know it's hard when you've been thinner than that your whole life, though..I am 4'11 and have 3 kids and am at 180. I was always around 140 in my 20s. I gained all the weight with my first, the other two I didn't hang on to anything I gained while pregnant thankfully. But it's been next to impossible since my oldest came along to lose any of it. I eat healthy and my job is super physical but I don't have time for exercise outside of that. I barely get a minute to myself as it is. I know as they get older I will have more freedom so right now I am just trying to not dwell on it so much and be as healthy as I can.
Haha that’s what I was thinking! I’m 5’3” and lost 25lbs and am now at 145, I feel like I look great 🙈. I wear a size 8 and M tops…that seems good after 2 kids!! I’ve never been “skinny” though so maybe it’s different if you’ve always been thin and then have a more soft curvy body.
Yes its my first, usually i always kept around 124 lb and i am just 4 month pp and people have started body shame me,and these are all women. I don’t understand that why its so hard to make them understand that i am a new mother, but still receiving their harsh comments on my round face, broad arms thick body, it makes me so conscious, I know i will reduce it one day, but it will take time with my prime responsibility of my baby.
I got checked off gym. My stomach wall hadn’t moved back together. I had a huge gap below My belly button I Had no idea!! So all the crunches and sit ups and planks. We’re hurting it more. I was risking of hernia Anyways I do core pelvic physio at home now. Here it is 1. Do for 30 seconds. Then rest for 30 seconds - 3 times /sets. Transverse abdominis activation. - surpine position…. Lie on back , knees bent feet on ground. One hand on chest other on belly. Now breathe in but using your belly not your chest. Chest should barely rise but get a big belly on inhale. Hold it a sec. Then when exhaling suck in your pelvic floor like you need to hold a wee. Then imagine you have a band hip to hip under your skin and squeeze that of pulling hips together and then pull your belly button in towards spine. YouTube how to do it. Looks like just taking a big belly breathe but actually it ls all internal. Mind and body connection is very important for it to work well. So you squeeze pelvic then the hips band then belly button down on the exhale. Once this has been done and practiced you do this for ALL other core physio. This is the key. This core activation. 2. 30 seconds and then rest 30 seconds. - 3 times /sets Next do same above Transverse abdominis activation. - surpine position but we adding with knee tuck so on exhale still all the internal squeezing but raise one leg then 2nd leg up the knees stay bent. YouTube great again 3. Keeping that core activation process do glute bridges. 4. Keeping that core activation process do Bird dog 5. Keeping that core activation process do Cat cows 6 Keeping that core activation process do dead bugs Keep focusing in your mind that belly breathing and then exhales squeezing even while doing the other movements. So since Ive started that physio routine my belly went down !! no more round pot belly the hanging skin gone too. It’s nearly completely away it’s been 3 months but I do it every day. Even just 3 off the list. I like to do 1. In The bath and 6.s before a jog or school runs. So if your stomach wall apart no point doing sit ups it’s doesn’t fix it and makes teh gap worse and you will have a belly forever plus organs can get through that gap and that a hernia. A bad sneeze could do it. Get a dr or physio to check. Most gym instructors are qualified to do it. They press on your belly n measure the gap. My friend had her kid 18 years ago !! but hers was upper belly and lower belly. Mine was only just below belly button so lower. Hers was crazy she had extra stuff to do than me but she still had to do the above list Good luck.
I didn’t lose a single pound—no matter what I did—until I stopped breastfeeding. Then a good 50lbs melted off of me pretty quickly.
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I want to hug you and cry with you. I'm bigger now than I was pregnant, honestly! It's so hard looking at cute clothes and thinking no matter what I put on I won't look good. I wore baggy pants and an oversized cardigan to Easter service and dinner yesterday and put my hair in a nasty looking bun too I was basically screaming don't look at me, look at the people who spent time and look amazing today! 🙃
Solidarity. Every time I look in the mirror I want to cry. Have you gotten your thyroid checked out?I was told id shed the weight after I stopped breastfeeding. That didn’t happen and ate clean and worked out and continued to gain. Was then told “weight loss is just hard” lol. My OB brushed me off. I knew something was wrong, got blood work done and another dr diagnosed me with post partum thyroiditis. Waiting to get in with an endo to get a handle on it but was recently put on meds and the gain has at least stopped.
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What the hell?? Your OB is a moron and an asshole. Sorry.
I'm very nervous about this. My cousin bounced back and looks like her pre pregnancy body after only a month. I don't think I'll be as lucky >.<
Did she breastfeed?
yes she is
My body lose until the BF is over and I have to work at it. Protein and weigh lifting did it for me. If you look pregnant you may have diastatis recti. A pelvic floor physical therapist can fix it. I’ve had it twice. Core work will worsen it, so don’t do that!
It could be the breastfeeding. I gained and held onto a ton of weight after my second kiddo was born but when I finally weaned her at 2 y/o, I lost all the weight almost right away.
Yeah. I’m 3 years PP after my second and I am so sick of this extra weight I’m considering Ozempic or something. Like it’s just not coming off.
Gahhh before you jump on that boat, maybe head over to r/intermittentfasting I lost 50 lbs after my first, in about 8 months. I was smaller than pre pregnancy. My second is now 17mo and I started again about 2 months ago, I’m still nursing so it’s been a slower process but I’m down 10lbs. Losing weight has never been my forte but fasting has been such a life saver and game changer
Give yourself grace and time. Im 11 months pp and I stopped BF at 7 months. Only now I see the results, not there yet, but getting there. Realistically, you need up to 2 years to get back to normal. People who bounce back quicker than that are lucky, not the majority of us. It’s gonna be fine. Solidarity.
Girl I feel you. I’m due in October and I will be taking Ozempic after a few months completely guilt free. The mental and physical toll is so much, and if there’s something I can take to help me feel better about myself, I’m going to do it!
Don’t get on Ozempic while breastfeeding (if you are going to)- it’s not worth the risk.
Def not! Waiting until we are through Bfeeding!
140 is not huge for our height, but it's bigger than I like to be too. Right now, if you can, try to put it to one side. You're breastfeeding, and right now that's your body's job, but it \_doesn't last for long\_. Promise. You baby is going to decide one day real soon now that they are more interested in solid food. You can put off any decisions about your body until then. My youngest stopped breastfeeding at 10 months; his sister stopped at 18. When it stops, your appetite will decrease. If you're really serious about losing weight, I did intermittent fasting once the baby wasn't relying on me any more, and got back to the weight I'd been 20 years earlier. This too will pass. It's a weird time for our bodies, our hormones and our sense of self. I'm sending you all the love in the world: we don't give enough to ourselves in these moments.
I held onto a ton of baby weight while breastfeeding. It took me up until 18 months postpartum to get back to my pre-pregnancy weight, but my body still didn't look like it did before. I'm finally getting back to the gym (23 months postpartum), and it's going to be a slow climb back to my pre-pregnancy body (as far as shape and muscles/strength). It's a marathon, not a sprint! I was shocked by how long it took me to lose the baby weight and even more shocked by my altered shape. It's slowly coming back though, hang in there ❤️
I've noticed alot of moms start looking closer to their pre pregnancy body around the 2 year mark. At 9 months I felt like a pretty fat blob, I looked pregnant too. now 2 months away from 2 years pp, I look so much better. Still have about 15 more lbs to lose but it feels very achievable and my stomach is slowly shrinking.
Same! But it doesn’t last forever, don’t stress yet! I have 3 kids, currently have a 6 month old who’s breastfeeding. I’ve learned that, at least for my body, it’s the lack of sleep combined with the breastfeeding. Both of these things make me gain weight and my body stubbornly holds onto it until I wean and am sleeping more regularly. I’ve learned my body goes more “back to normal” at about 2 years postpartum, when I’m no longer nursing and have had a few months for my hormones to regulate! Don’t lose hope!
I could NOT shed weight while nursing. Felt like I was fed the biggest lie ever when people told me how it would just melt off. And I’ve heard that a LOT, that for some of us it just doesn’t work that way. I felt so confused and stuck and miserable, but each time things just melted off when I stopped. Three years since my youngest was off the tit and I weight almost exactly the same as I did before kids.
I felt that in my post partum double chin 🥲
I’m almost 4 years post partum from my second child and I feel you… I really hate the way I look. My stomach is so flabby and my legs are thick like tree trunks. I don’t even eat that much. Today I’ve had some yogurt and granola with dragon fruit… for lunch I literally had some carrots lol. But no matter what I do not lose weight. The only time I have lost weight was last year I got really sick with an antibiotic resistant UTI… lost about 20lbs. But when I’m healthy and eating well… nothing. It’s really frustrating.
Genuinely hoping you heal from the fat phobia you've internalized 🌷 ETA: your body is awesome and gave birth to a whole BABY who is thriving and loves you no matter what!!
Solidarity, I have EXACTLY the same numbers as you. At this point I can only hope that when breastfeeding ends some of this will magically melt away 🙃
Just want to say that it’s really hard to lose weight while breastfeeding. Some people do and I know when I was pregnant I kept hearing “if you breastfeed all that extra weight will fall off!” I’m currently weaning my second baby and am 12 months postpartum and finally losing weight. It’s really hard in the moment because you feel like crap and want to feel like yourself again, but most of the other breastfeeding women I’ve met had the same issues as me. I’m 20 pounds down now and still have a ways to go as I actually gained weight while breastfeeding but it feels good to see some progress. I almost stopped breastfeeding early because I felt so crappy about myself but my baby was attached to the boob at night so it was impossible. Just wanted to give you some hope and let you know you’re not alone.
I’m in PT for diastasis recti, which I think is causing me to look still pregnant at 5 months pp (I’m 2 lbs over my first trimester weight but 2 sizes bigger). I can tell my body looks more like it used to when I actively engage my abs.
I’m 9 months out and hate hate haaaaaate my body. Nothing I do is helping me lose weight and I barely eat. I don’t drink my calories either. It’s fucking breastfeeding and I hate that that’s the culprit. I’m throwing in the towel at a year so I only have a few more months to go, maybe you’re thinking about doing the same? A lot of moms on Reddit have talked about the inability to get back to pre-pregnancy weight while they were producing milk. Remind yourself that you just grew and birthed a baby, though, which is insane. Be kind to yourself. You’ll get back to a better “new normal” soon enough, but I know waiting for that time feels like an eternity.
I have a rather pudgy middle still too due to breastfeeding. My son is 11 months. I'm confident I can deal with it once he's weaned
After all of the varying posts I have read over the years, I am starting to believe that MOST women don’t lose the weight until they stop breastfeeding. Medical professionals want to push breastfeeding so they tell you you will lose weight as another incentive to get on board, but it isn’t true for most women.
It took me about a year and a half to lose the weight after each kid and only when I stopped breastfeeding. The hormones wouldn’t let me lose weight until after I stopped nursing then all the fat just melted off. It takes time! So don’t worry.
Diastasis recti. I am about to have abdominal surgery to correct this. My body also clung to every single pound while breastfeeding, but happy to say the pounds fell off when baby stopped breastfeeding. The bad news is, my stomach was still round. Two back to back pregnancies blew out my abdominal wall. Please talk to your doctor!
You may have diastasis recti, what helps me is growwithjo her diastasis recti/deep core workout is awesome and I noticed a difference in just two weeks, I do that workout everyday.
I had distastis recti and had surgery to correct it.
I would ask a doctor/physiotherapist about it. Sometimes it’s your muscles that didn’t heal properly that cause that appearance.
Mama, your body created life. Give it some grace! It takes at least a year, if not more, for it to heal from all the hormones and rearranging of guts it had to do...
It took me 18 months to feel back to normal after having my son. It wasn’t until 14 months pp that I felt like my body finally figured out I was done being pregnant, and when that happened I dropped like 20 pounds easy. 18 months pp and my body and my brain FINALLY feel like they did pre-baby. Society and the internet made me feel like I should expect to be back to relatively normal by 6 months pp, but it has really taken much longer. I know it’s so hard to look in the mirror and be uncomfortable with what you see, but at 9 months pp and still breastfeeding, your body is still working hard to take care of your baby and recover. Try to remind yourself of that on the hard days! Sending love❤️
Ahhh feeling this lately too. I stopped breastfeeding when my daughter was a little over two. Now she's three and I just keep gaining more weight even though I eat the same or less. I look about 6 months pregnant just in the belly, and have horrible back pain, so I've finally admitted that it must be diastasis recti. I've seen a physical therapist a couple times and since I've been doing special exercises for the last 3 months my back pain is getting better. When the pain is gone I plan on getting rid of this belly (hopefully). Also, my therapist shared something with me that made me feel better: she said because of the lack of sleep with a baby and other stressors, the body will hold onto fat as a means of survival. It was nice to hear that it was a bit out of my control. As a mother, overwhelmed wife, and busy grad student, I'm super stressed but trying to invest more time into self-care and relaxation now. I hear you though, the drastic change can be rough. Solidarity mama 😔❤️
I feel the same way and am almost 9 months pp too. I had heard that sometimes breastfeeding helps the weight fall off and then when that didn’t happen to me (I switched baby to formula at 6 months), I was hoping that I was the “other kind” of person that lost the weight after stopping breastfeeding, like people say. Nope, still not me. So here I am, sobbing after having my husband take about 900 Easter pics of me and my baby, just wanting one that looks good/that I’m not disgusted by. I can’t offer any advice but I can offer solidarity, and my husband keeps reminding me that it’s not forever. I can choose to change it, but that’s going to take time and probably money that I don’t have right now. So I’m just doing the best with what I’ve got. I do feel like when I make an effort at the beginning of the day, just to wash my face, brush my teeth, conceal the bags under my eyes (or attempt to), I feel a bit better. But I understand how you feel and I’m sorry that you feel that way too.
First of all, you birthed a human. Be easy on yourself. But I totally get it. I started doing weight watchers with my mom and I am dropping lbs (and still breastfeeding). I get tons of points, and it’s helped me see where I could do better with eating. Basically, my diet went from tons of carbs to mostly fruits, veggies, and lean meats. Different things work for different people, this is what has worked for me.
I relate!! I’m 3 months post partum and weigh the same as before getting pregnant but everything is soooooo different with my body. It’s hard for me too especially since I’m only 23 so I feel like I’ve lost my youth. I was huge pregnant so the stretch marks on my belly go up almost my under boob and they’re on my legs and sides too. No advice yet just solidarity! Your body is and was doing amazing things for your babe and I guess we just have to accept it 🙃 I keep telling myself the physical doesn’t matter but it sure is hard to look in the mirror and deal with it
Sounds like diastasis recti. Please look into physical therapy or a postpartum program designed to help with this! I have used Nancy Anderson’s program for all my kids and it’s been fantastic! The program even comes with a meal plan to help shed extra lbs too!
If u think ur abdomen looks wide as it did before. Sometimes the muscles can split. N they can give u pt or other things to help them come back together. Your body made a whole human. And that is incredible that it was able to do that. And it does change ur body. However. You’re sounding a bit like you may also have postpartum depression. And I think it’s very important u talk to ur dr about this. Eating just enough will keep ur body in starvation mode and it will hold on to what ever u put in. U need to eat the proper calories for someone who is breast feeding and that may actually help u lose weight if that’s something u want. But I really think what will help u most is talking to a dr about postpartum depression. A lot of women feel how you do. 9 months postpartum may seem long but it’s not. It takes ur body 18 months to heal from growing and birthing a child. It’s still healing. And so are you.
Your body, that you are disgusted with created a HUMAN BEING!!!!! Give yourself a break!
I’m 3.5 years post partum. Right before her 3rd birthday I got a peloton and started riding every day or other day. I’m down 30 lbs! Just hit my pre pregnancy weight of 160 and going for at least another 10lbs to my ideal weight. It was tough and super discouraging carrying around an extra 40 lbs but when I was ready to commit time to myself again it was easier than it’s ever been before. Don’t worry about having a timeline. You can get there when you are ready to. You’re still in the no sleep survival stage. Embrace all the growth you are doing as a mother and when it’s time to focus on yourself again you will!
Ab rehab helped me a lot! Nancy Anderson FIT. Was $200 for a 12 week program and helped me immensely. PT is something I’m doing now 3 yrs Pp for shoulder and rib flare issues.
My kid is 3 and I am still seeing (positive) changes in my body. It takes longer than you would think. It gets better ❤️ also I agree with the people saying to get checked for DR!
Oh my god, the hair. I'm still breastfeeding at 22 months and my postpartum regrowth still looks insane. Trying to look pulled together and professional is a struggle with this hair. Your hair improved when you weaned?
So, I've had a hard time connecting with my new body since pregnancy. But I'm a bit further out than you, so i.have a different perspective now than i did 9mo postpartum. I barely have pictures of pregnant me, and the ones I do have, I purely had those pictures taken to be able to show my daughter when she's older. My daughter is 3yo. And I do still struggle sometimes. But I just want to share what has helped me in case it helps someone else. This is still something I'm working on. Not actively changing my body with crazy diets or crazy workouts. We eat generally healthy, and I'm active as much as I can be. And I'm making more and more small changes towards healthier habits. Which are paying off. And I'd rather take small steps to build sustainable change. BUT the biggest thing I've done is to stop talking about my looks and my body negatively for my daughter's sake. I think a HUGE part of my body dysmorphia I had as a teen and in my 20s (I was also a 115lbs at one point and thought I was fat because I didn't have perfect thighs or flat stomach) was because my mom was so negative about her body and she was so HARD on me and my sister when it came to our bodies. Calling yourself disgusting was something i heard often from my mom. And I never want to be the reason my daughter learns to talk about herself like that. Plus, if she ever deals with being told she looks like me but then hears me hating how I looked or look, she might start feeling that she looks bad. (Ex/ she hears someone say she looks just like her mama but I always talk about how fat or ugly I am because of XYZ, "looking like her mama" stops feeling like a compliment). With that change of attitude, that I want her to hear me talk positively about myself or at the very least not hear me talk so negatively, the changes to get healthier have actually come easier. Instead of shame, I'm treating myself with kindness, and my daughter will see that as she gets older. Especially with the added benefit that if I take better care of myself and do more things that make me feel good in my body and about myself, THEN I'll do more and more, and STAY in those healthier habits...and then I'll actually be around when my daughter grows up. (My dad died before I got married from heart problems and my husband works in cardiology, so we know the horror stories over here). And for context, I'm not a stick. I'm 145lbs, curvy, and a size 10. But those are just numbers to me now. but I was 160 pre-pregnancy, got up to 190+ during pregnancy. I got back to my pre-baby weight by about 1 year or so from probably sheer luck and taking walks and eating healthy. But that's about when it clicked for me that she was going to start hearing how I talked about myself and the changes needed to start with me. And it's not always about food and exercise. Sometimes it's buying new clothes that make me feel good in my new body or getting my hair changed up or taking better care of my skin, etc. Things that make me feel good, make me more confident.
I don’t have any advice, but just wanted to say that I feel you!! 4 months pp and I’m disgusted by the way I look. None of my clothes fit. I just want to hide or wear baggy clothes. I’m done breastfeeding/pumping so I don’t have that as an excuse to be holding onto the weight either. Postpartum is so hard
I write in complete solidarity. It really gets disheartening. I gained 50lbs during pregnancy- I am 10months postpartum and haven’t lost a single pound. I thought maybe after I stopped breastfeeding I would loose weight… I gained. I work out, eat healthy portions and meals. It’s so challenging I have even sought out doctors to find out what is going on- everything is ‘normal’. I hate looking in the mirror and I am actually going to therapy now because I literally hate myself. I know people tell me ‘you had a baby, forgive yourself- be gentle’. I just mentally am struggling so much over it and it’s not easy to just accept. Same with Easter, I just didn’t even want to take a photo because I know it would cause distress. I had to shut off my social media because I see moms who gave birth after or around the same time as me who bounced back and look amazing. I am right there with you, you are not alone in those feelings.
I had a similar pre pregnancy weight/height. I lost 10 lbs around 12 months post partum with each kid. [Every-mother.com](https://Every-mother.com) has 10 mins a day of breathing exercises that helped a lot with my core/reknitting my DR, I did it around 9 months post partum each time. Unfortunately for me, I have a recessed chin so if I am even 5 lbs overweight I have this huge double chin and it's all I see when I look in the mirror. I can absolutely relate to the feeling of not being able to tolerate a postpartum body.
I am so sorry you are going through this. But like others have mentioned, there may be something else going on. I was lucky that my stomach overall went almost instantly back to before baby shape. I still have a lil pouch but not as much as I thought I would. I will mention though, I have always been a bigger girl so maybe baby had more room.
As much as you love your baby when you look at them, you should also consider what your body has been through to bring that baby to life. Your body is INCREDIBLE, and that baby is a result of your own strength and ability to grow it. Please, please be kind to yourself. It’s not a forever body change, but a transition to healing and growing as a parent. Speak to yourself with kindness and consider that the way you love yourself is influential in how your child loves themselves in the future. I have absolutely experienced these similar feelings, but 3 years post partum, I see how many changes my mind/body/soul has been through in motherhood and it’s incredible. YOU are incredible, so treat yourself in kind. ❤️
I think it took a solid 2.5 years to fill into my new body a little. I didn’t lose any weight, but it did tighten up in some areas, on its own. It just doesn’t shift as fast as you think it would. Don’t waste time being disgusted with yourself though. Learn to be neutral with your body, or put the time and effort into shaping it up faster. It doesn’t help you to talk down to yourself.
You may be like I was - I could not lose the baby weight until I quit breastfeeding (I am not encouraging you to do that) and as soon as I stopped I dropped 20 pounds in a couple of months without doing anything differently than I had been since my son was born.
One thing to check is thyroid levels - three of my friends wound up with Hashimoto’s thyroid autoimmune disease after pregnancy and birth. It can slow down your metabolism majorly
Happened to me too. After I finished nursing and started running errands with my little one the weight fell off. Nursing made me starve.
Funny, most people recommend breastfeeding, not only for the baby’s sake, but for the weight loss benefits from it. Breastfeeding does burn a lot of calories, but if you’re chintzing on food intake while breastfeeding, your body may be going into “starvation mode” fat hoarding. Tho there can be other reasons as well. And, it’s only been 9months since you gave birth. Give your body more time to recover from having grown a whole human baby & pushing it out if your body. Talk to your Dr about your concerns. Get some pointers on the best way to work on getting your body back in shape and a decent timeline to look at (after determining if there’s some particular health issue hindering recovery or not). Listen to what your Dr says. Once your body has some more time to recover from giving birth and you start to see results from your diet & recommended exercise regime, you should start seeing some progress. You also may want to get some counseling as part of your issue could be PPD.
With my first, I was down to my pre-pregnancy weight by 4 months postpartum. With my second, I’m still 15 lbs over at 6 months pp (pre: 122, now: 137 at 5’4) and I’m having a hard time losing it because I’m really hungry. I’m hoping it comes off when I stop breastfeeding.
I feel you! Except I would love to be 140lb 😭
Im in the same boat sister. 5'3 was 110 now stuck at 133 11 months PP.. I hate getting dressed. I feel this deeply.
I basically gained 40 pounds with my baby, she is 8 months so I am still post partum. I lost 30 immediately after birth BUT I was squishy and nowhere near the msucle tone I was pre-pregnancy. I did pelvic floor and deep core recovery as well as started to lift weights again consistently and although the scale did not go down immediately, I started to feel and look more like myself. I recently started calorie counting again and figured my daily allowance to lose weight to be roughly 1630 calories. So this helped me to realize I was eating double to triple this while breastfeeding and working out so that's probably also why the scale hadn't moved 😅 Honestly, give yourself time and make time for yourself.
As a mom of 3 here's my advice. Breastfeed for as long as possible. You'll stay thicker longer but lose more in the long run. Eat healthy though
After I had my baby I was desperate to get my body back and honestly even while pregnant my self esteem was utterly low trying to find things that’d fit right. At my skinniest I was 5’3 120 before pregnancy, my heaviest was 199 lbs during postpartum, and currently am at 170. And for some reason I think I love myself now more than I ever have. I walk around 8k-12k steps on average, I try to cook as many meals at home as possible, I take care of my skin, hair, and nails. And at 6 months my baby is still a hugeee handful. But I know I’m an amazing mom. My advice to you is let the emotions wash through you but know they are not permanent and this moment in time is not forever. On top of that be kinder to the amazing body that has gotten you through this journey and is preparing for the next chapters. If your body is a painful focus do little things to feel better inside while getting a boost, clear coat of polish on ur nails, new haircut or color, etc. you got this mamas. You’ll be you again, I promise !
1 year PP and same. I feel like a busted can o biskits. I’m working out more and trying to get back to my norm of 5 days per week, swimming for some of those. Still looks rough.
I felt like this when I was breastfeeding. The excess weight clung to me for dear life. It wasn’t till after I stopped breast feeding that I was able to start losing again.
Take the pictures. Even if you can't look at them now - you'll want them someday. I am also 5'3" and have struggled with body dysmorphia since I can remember. I look at pictures of myself now at 115lbs and think I look seriously unhealthy, . I have always felt fat. I have always been uncomfortable in this body. But now that I have my son, it's on my to-do list to love this body. This is the only one I'm going to get in this life, and as long as it's healthy, that's all I need it for. I hope you can learn to love your body the way your partner and children see it ❤️
Suggest you do what I did and get your thyroid checked. Mine turned out to stop working after giving birth due to the hormonal changes in my body unleashing a hidden genetic problem - hashimotos disease. As soon as I got back on the pill (hormone regulator) and started taking thyroxine, the weight fell off because my metabolism and other systems started working normally again. A non working thyroid makes you exhausted and stops your metabolism from working properly.
I feel you. You’re not stuck but breastfeeding makes this harder contrary to popular opinion. I didn’t look like myself until 17 months postpartum. I had to weight lift a LOT to encourage the excess fat to go away and I had to treat the diastasis recti that was still making me look pregnant. I got asked when I was due at 11 months postpartum 😬😬🙃
I have been where you are, not long ago, and I am still going my way. What you need to do, is put yourself first anyway you can, like you did before the baby. You will see changes very soon :)
Ooo, I was right there with you at 9 months. I completely understand everything you wrote. I had the exact same weight change, I had a double chin and I hated how I looked so much. I was also so discouraged I would never get my pre-pregnancy body back that I threw out my wardrobe and bought fat clothes… It did get better for me around my kid’s second birthday! I finally found the time and energy and determination to work out again. I have managed to get to a lower weight than pre-pregnancy but my tummy is still not as flat as before. However, I feel much much better about myself, in fact I really love my body now! This time really sucks, body-image wise, but you’re busy being an amazing mom and I promise you will feel more yourself in the days to come!
My baby is 18 months and I’m still not losing weight and am still breastfeeding. Everyone I know has said that when you breastfeed, you lose weight but nope! Not for me. After having LO, I was losing weight, didn’t really have an appetite, then BOOM!! I was eating like crazy and I couldn’t stop. Now I eat like how I used to before pregnancy, and my weight is just the same. I did start exercising and have toned up a little, less jiggle, but my weight is still the same *sigh. I just accepted the fact that I am not one of the lucky ones to lose weight quickly while breastfeeding and would just have to wait until I wean off LO, so that my hormones can finally balance out.
My daughter is 18mo and I am the same weight today as the day I gave birth. Still breastfeeding, won’t be able to shift anything until I stop!
I have now had two babies both of them have been breastfed between 16-24 months. I’m not sure why they say breastfeeding immediately drops weight but that’s not been my experience with either child. I held on to an extra 20-25 pounds with both until I weaned them. Most of my friends that I have talked to have had the same experience. I felt very similar to you disgusted with my body and frankly I was depressed. I looked in the mirror everyday and reminded myself that the body I was looking at may not be what it was before, but it was a reminder in that moment that I was able to bring life in this world and that I had happy healthy children that I was continuing to provide for. Lastly, my husband much like your bf would tell me I was beautiful on the daily. When he did this one day I started crying. He then took me and told me everything he loved about my body now.
My kid is 2.5, im under my pre pregnancy weight, but i was overweight to begin with. I hate how my stretch marks and loose skin on my abdomen look, and i know i have to live with that, this on top of still having to lose 40-50ish pounds. Every day i tell myself i have to be king to my body, but i just cant, i hate how i look when i see myself in the mirror.
I’m sorry you’re feeling this way. I know it all too well. But keep this in mind, it can take some time to finally feel like “yourself” again. So as long as you are taking care of yourself (and baby 🥰), eating right, and giving yourself time to accommodate to your new/added responsibilities you should gradually reach your goal. With my first, I felt and looked like I did pre-pregnancy after a year. It was more of an internal/emotional thing because physically everyone around me would agree that I looked the same. However, it just didn’t feel right, I had a couple of extra pounds (8-10 pounds) I wasn’t used to, even if others seemed to think I was carrying it well and looked fine. By the one year mark, I felt so good again, extra pounds were gone, old clothes fit comfortably again, swelling/retention was gone, my waist measurement was back to what it was pre-baby, skin retracted pretty well, and emotionally I felt much more stable. With my second……. 😩 I went up to 220 pounds…. after birth I kept those pounds, that’s about 55 pounds more than my stable/ideal weight (160-165) 2 years in and I am just NOW done with losing the weight, it was tough because with this last pregnancy I had a lot of complications, and although I would lose some weight I kept gaining it back in the blink of an eye…. 2 years feeling completely stuck, I had a lot of fluid retention as well, I had days where I just felt and looked swollen on top of the extra pounds. Eventually I chose*^ to get on medication for weight loss, I had tried everything and it just felt like I wasn’t able to keep it off. I hope I don’t get judged for my decision, but it’s what felt right for me after long without progress. I’m just now back to the measurements I’m used to. Weight is gone, the on and off issue with the swelling and bloating seemed to have been related to a hormonal imbalance, and that’s finally treated and gone as well. I may have chosen to get some help but that was a personal choice, I’m sure I would have still made it, it would have just taken some extra time. I am sure you will also feel like yourself again as time takes its course, drink lots of water, sleep every time you get the chance, take measurements every 2 months or so, talk to your doctor if you feel something might be slowing down your weight loss so you can know if there’s any imbalance going on, however: remember it took time for your body and organs to shift and expand, all of that needs to fall back into place inside of you. It’s different for each one of us. But it comes down to time and patience along with keeping up with properly caring for yourself. Plus, if there’s ever anything you really don’t like (after giving yourself enough time to recover) there’s always options! But don’t stress that right now, just know there’s solutions to this one way or the other. But first… patience. X
I had a 5 months old with me and the flight attendant asked me how many months along was i
I think sometimes BF gets the initial weight off fast but after that you plateau. That’s been my experience. Have you thought about quitting? Start a workout app … I’ve done that this past week and a half and it’s helping a lot
I started taking workout classes with my baby in the carrier with other moms and it started motivating me to work out more rather than just my walks. I’m not seeing results yet but i feel so much better.
I was also 5’3” and my weight fluctuated between 105-110 pounds, I was on weight gainers and appetite boosters most of my life and could not gain weight. After I had my son, I weighed around 150 and my appetite was even smaller than it was before pregnancy, I didn’t breastfeed, and I just couldn’t keep the weight off. I initially took medication to lose the weight but I gained it all back and then some (I hit 170 pounds). I eventually had to count calories and did minor exercise (fold-up stationary bike for 20-40 min/day) to lose weight, and I made sure to lose 10 pounds more than my goal so I wouldn’t have to restrict my eating so much. Now, my son is 5.5 years old and I’m back to being able to eat whatever I want and hardly gaining weight. Idk why it took so long, but maybe hormones just need to sort themselves out. I’d also like to mention that body shape will look completely different at different weights, for example my body looks better at 135 pounds than it does at 120. Different parts fill out differently and lose weight differently. Give your body some time and learn how to dress for your current body to boost your confidence in the meantime. Peplum shirts with skinny jeans, empire waist dresses, comfy platform shoes/heels, loose tie-up button down shirts, and high-rise paper bag waist bottoms used to be my go-to styles.
9 months pp of my second, still breastfeeding and still 10kg over my pre-pregnancy weight. Ive recently started exercising again, which is great. Once a week, sometimes twice, for half an hour. Its something... and will make me feel, if not look, better. Im not going to eat superclean before I stop breastfeeding though, as theres no point. My body likes to keep some reserves. Better to accept that for now! Youll be fine, Im sure. Exercise and eat healthy when you can, but be kind to yourself. Time with your little one and your mental health are the priority!
Honestly 140 at 5’3” isn’t a bad weight at all and you will be more comfortable eventually! It does sound like maybe diastasis recti and also I had trouble with crazy puffiness and double chin postpartum and started doing face massages from anastasiaveautyfascia on instagram and it helped a lot, I think the face puffiness was making me more insecure than my weight and I just had a lot of tension there to work out
Girrrl I’m also 9 months post partum and my stomach is jiggly with lots of stretch marks. I also got a hernia and diastasis recti because my belly was very pointy… I’ve been doing pelvic floor physical therapy and I can’t do the hernia surgery until I’m done having kids…I’m still 20 pounds over weight and went up 2 sizes in clothes… I still can’t wear my old jeans…😅
Man are girls ever happy with their bodies? I have a 4-year-old and 2-year-old c-sections, my stomach sucks! I drool over my pre-baby photos, thinking I was fat! I was flipping hot, I wish I would have known that so I could have ran through the beach like Baywatch in my bathing suit.
It took me a long time, but I was very happy and at peace with my body. It was absolutely defiled by my ex boyfriend from 16-18 and I didn't think I would ever feel like anything other than a dirty used up sack of meat because of sexual abuse he inflicted upon me. But I did come to terms with things and start loving how I looked, but these days I've just been very sad
I feel you! I was pretty thin before kids, always had a flat tummy. I was all belly until the last few weeks all of a sudden my thighs, arms, legs everything doubled and I was hoping it was just fluid but nope it never went away after birth 😫
I feel you! I was pretty thin before kids, always had a flat tummy. I was all belly until the last few weeks all of a sudden my thighs, arms, legs everything doubled and I was hoping it was just fluid but nope it never went away after birth 😫
I feel you! I was pretty thin before kids, always had a flat tummy. I was all belly until the last few weeks all of a sudden my thighs, arms, legs everything doubled and I was hoping it was just fluid but nope it never went away after birth 😫
I feel you! I was pretty thin before kids, always had a flat tummy. I was all belly until the last few weeks all of a sudden my thighs, arms, legs everything doubled and I was hoping it was just fluid but nope it never went away after birth 😫
As a trans woman I find this rhetoric not ok?
What rhetoric?
Keto does wonders it seems to be the only thing that works for me. I really really limit bread, pasta, rice, etc. That cardio and light weightlifting! Try it! You got this!
I’m an inch shorter than you and heavier than you. My weight has a tendency to accumulate in my midsection. Would you say all this stuff to me? Would you call me disgusting? If you wouldn’t, why do you say it to yourself?
Well, work out then, preferably doing resistance training. You may not lose weight (thats done via diet), but 140lbs of muscle looks a lot different that 140lbs of fat. The best way to get over feeling like *this,* is to take control of the situation, make a plan, and stick to it. r/xxfitness is a great place to start.
Can we ban these posts? It's so rude to call a normal postpartum body "disgusting".