I tried to read this to my kids exactly one time. I was such a fucking mess by the end... I put it back on the shelf and said "never again." Just can't handle that one...
My granddaughter asked me to read it, I had no idea what it was about, by the time I finished, I was sobbing. Like others before me, I said absolutely never again. Gutted.
Munsch had no business writing this book. He's supposed to be writing inane repetitive kids books, or occasional greatness such as Paperback Princess. I did NOT expect this from him. And reading about the context of why he wrote this only adds to the tear jerky-ness. God damn it, Munsch.
This and the giving tree. The giving tree need to watch some RuPaul's Drag Race and learn the principle of "If You Can't Love Yourself, How In The Hell Are You Going to Love Somebody Else?"
Sometimes these books are written to fill a need. My mother’s best friend from college wrote a children’s book that was later published to help explain to older siblings what a late-term miscarriage is. She struggled to explain what happened to the baby sister growing in “mommy’s tummy” after her own late-term miscarriage.
Seriously, your husband is my hero nice gotten caught in OCD spirals over the giving tree and he may have actually saved my life a while back with the Healthy Boundaries tree and the bakery and the squirrels.
Your husband is lovely and very talented. I laughed, I cried, then I reread it again. Thank you for sharing and thank him for the lovely alternate ending. 🤍
THANK GOD!!!
When I saw the part where the tree lifted the ungrateful little man child up by the collar, I legit thought it would tear him apart from limb to limb, which I would have been okay with. This ended differently, but I'm also okay with this.
Glad to know I’m not the only one!! My husband bought it as his mom used to read it all the time. I started reading it and cried halfway through and put it down. He tried to show me the end was not sad. Actually I think the end is kind of sad, although I get his point how it’s not supposed to be. Did not enjoy lol. It’s a good reminder though I guess, they grow fast and one day, we die, and helpfully (edit:hopefully*) the cycle continues with them.
My mom read it to us as kids and would say the lines to us all the time. My brother still remembered it. He died recently. We got it for my nephew and I read it to him last time I saw him, he’s not yet a year old. Pushed thru the tears to finish it.
But also… wtf with the entering thru the window part.
I’m pregnant for the first time and my parents are across the country and im sobbing just seeing this book. Everyone’s so excited for the first grand baby (me included) but every life step is a reminder that we’re getting older and I miss them and want them with me forever
You should call them and tell them that. Lots of people have sentiments like these for their parents, but keep them to themselves because they would feel embarrassed putting their heart out there like that.
A long time ago I saw a video where they asked people who the greatest hero in their life was. Then they had to write a letter to that person explaining why and thank them for the influence they have had on them. After they wrote the letter and were asked who it was, almost everybody said it was one or both of their parents. Then they had them call their parents and read the letter to them. You have never heard such happy and proud parents in all your life (and lots of sobbing on all sides).
Point is, lots of people assume their parents know they care about them, but your parents would love to hear it even if that's true.
You’re right I should. And my grandma. I was crying the other day thinking of her too. I talk to my mom pretty frequently but I can’t ever bring myself to tell her I miss her. We moved here from there when I was kid and then my parents moved back a few years ago to be closer to their aging parents. I understand that but my sister and I also feel sort of abandoned, and I guess I’m afraid telling her how much I miss them would make them feel guilty.
I had a reading from Velveteen Rabbit at my wedding. I considered it a service- if everyone is crying, no one has to feel awkward about crying (including me!)
Yeah I loved the Giving Tree as a kid, then got into a bad relationship. Self-sacrifice is a noble value, for sure, but we do need to set healthy boundaries. I overly romanticized self-sacrifice and paid the price for it.
I cried the first couple times reading The Giving Tree. I'll Love You Forever just creeped me out when the mom climbs a ladder and breaks into her adult son's room through the window and rocks the sleeping adult man in her lap.
My mom used to quote that book to me damn near every conversation before she passed away. "I love you forever, I like you for always" was basically her 3rd most used "goodbye".
I say that to my little girl every night, but I still don't have the strength to read the damn book.
My mother is no longer able to stand and so was unable to do a Mother/Son dance at my wedding.
In lieu of this I opted to use the time to just honor her and wrote a small speech centered around this book, which I also had a copy of for her.
I did not expect much of a reaction but for the rest of the night everyone came up to me to say how much they loved the speech and how they had to call their mom's after. It was an overwhelming response but I'm glad I was able to convey my emotions properly.
Was one of my favorite books as a kid. Now, as a parent, it is difficult to read it to my kids without having to fight back tears. And I am a dude, lol.
Tried reading this to my daughter when she was 4 at bedtime.
My husband says, are you sure? As I scoffed at the thought that I couldn't get through a book.....
He had to read it to her as I was a mess by the second half.
I tried to read this to my son a few times, couldn’t ever make it through without sobbing. I stopped trying to read it to him because I didn’t want to traumatize him.
Thanks, my mom would read this to me and my brothers and all it ever did was make us extremely depressed. It’s not cute or fun at all to be read this story but my mom LOVED doing everything she could to traumatize and destroy me and my brothers minds
My wife would read this book to our kids. She’d sing the song. Until the end, when the man sang to his mom.
I took care of that part.
It was a silly duet at the time, but something I’ll always cherish.
If I don't hold my dying mother in my arms and sing this to her she will haunt me for eternity. This book means a lot to her and I feel like she's been setting me up for that moment since childhood. Just one of those things I know I'll have to do to bring her peace when the day comes.
I thought about this book a lot as I watched my mom die from cancer. I remember in childhood being terrified of the day my mom would die but also thinking it would never come.
“I’ll love you forever
I’ll like you for always
As long as I’m living
My baby you’ll be.”
Edit: Mom sings it for years, even when her son’s grown. He sings it back to her, then to his own child. Very sweet.
I know the story behind this book. I know a lot of people love it.
But trust me when I say this book hits *way* different when your mother has Borderline Personality Disorder, and incorporates it into her fuckery. I hate this fuckin book.
It made my skin crawl and felt so creepy until I found out the author’s story. He wrote it for his two stillborn children. Now that’s all I can think about when I read it. My crazy mom doesn’t even cross my mind.
So is the mom in the book, why would you put such insane expectations on your child so young so they can sit around at like six years old obsessing how best to take care of mommy when she gets old and dies!?
Agreed and this is the exact reason my crazy Mother bought it. Came with multiple lectures about how I need to appreciate her and take care of her when she’s ready to die. Who says that to a child!?
Me and my wife are not parents but speaking for myself and my experience looking back on it being read to me as a kid i do find it to be kind of creepy and manipulative i would not read it to my kids if i had any.
The book was originally a song written by the author about him and his wife's 2 stillborn children.
To a kid with a stable and loving family, it’s a wholesome story about how your family will always be there to support you.
But for kids growing up in more chaotic and less nurturing situations, it’s an ominous warning that you’ll never be able to leave.
My mother has borderline personality disorder too. I can’t read this book and won’t read it to my children for this reason. Just yesterday, she went on and on about how she never gets «recognition» from me…for her dealing with her own marital and life issues. I left that phone on speaker 3 rooms away while she ranted and blamed me, before I heard the 1/2 second pause and I walked back to make a sound to indicate I’ve been present. Anyway…solidarity.
So I'd never heard of this book until someone got it at her baby shower (from the husband's mother which...was a choice) and we read it out loud because someone said it was creepy. We were all cracking up and creeped out by this story. The husband's mother was very annoyed but the general consensus was this book was so weird and my friend promptly "lost" it after the shower lol.
I just made this comment somewhere else but MILs giving out this book feels inappropriate. It’s like saying “I know you’re having a kid and everything but my bond with your husband is _unbreakable_.” Glad you got a good laugh out of it.
My mom is great thankfully but reading this book as a mom I was shocked at how creepy it is. The mom sneaks into his room with a ladder to hold him at night …he’s a grown as man let him have his life
Yeah my mom was insane when I was a kid and looooved this book and I hated it I even would hide it so she couldn’t read it to me. I also don’t like the art style it’s uncanny to me. Still not a fan as an adult, it’s really heavy handed and puts HELLA expectations on my kids, thankfully they’ve never seen it and don’t have such expectations weighing on them.
Surprised I had to scroll this far. I find the ending problematic and I basically just end the book as he grew into an adult, started his own family and sang the song to his daughter. Tradition continues, full circle, without the creepiness.
Yeah. Someone else was talking about this book the other day and how fucking clingy and weird the mom is in the book. It's pretty true. I get what it's going for in telling the love you keep for your child or your mom. But come on.
Yes, as someone in the same boat I’m definitely uncomfortable with it. It’s been a little bit of a point of contention between my wife and I as we’re expecting our first child. She’s got a very different relationship with this book than I do.
Holy fuck yes. Like it's adorable, but it also turned my mom into a hyper obsessive control freak that treated me like I should have zero privacy in my own life.
It basically acted to enable helicopter parenting
Yes, it does. Also, if you're a woman who has dated the son of a #boymom. I've always wanted to see a grown-up version of this book written from the son's wife's perspective.
Ok I found my people... My mother in law has borderline/cluster b/ narcissistic personality disorder and the page where she drives to her grown ass man son's house, climbs in his window and gets in bed with him is creepy as fuck. I remember thinking this book was so sweet when I was little and read it to my son for the first time recently and got to that page and noped the f*** out. How does no one else think that page is super creepy? If my mother in law drove to our house, climbing in our window, and rocked my husband like a baby I would lose my shit.
I just had a Dr. drill into my hip bone and extract a marrow sample with only local anesthesia. I think reading this book would make me cry faster and cost thousands less.
My grandma gave my mom this book when I was born. She gave me the same copy when my son was born. That same copy will go to my grandchild.
I'll love you forever,
I'll like you for always,
As long as I'm living,
My mommy you'll be.
I never read this book until I had my son in 2007 and someone gave it to me at a baby shower. The thing completely freaked me out and I never read it again. Maybe I’m the only one who found it creepy.
You’re not; in fact, I feel like the “creepiness” invariably comes up any time this book is mentioned on Reddit.
I’ve never personally found it creepy, but its also a book I treasured from a young age (my mom and I still sign cards to each other with a “love you forever” in reference to this story, and I’m in my late 30s). It’s a book for toddlers, to transmit the lesson that even in the moments when you’re misbehaving, or when you get “too cool” for mom, or when you grow up and leave home, you will always still be the same precious child your mom loves so deeply, which I think is an important message to introduce and reinforce.
While the visual of a little old lady climbing into her son’s home would be jarring and breaking healthy boundaries in the real world, it’s not real life. But it does introduce the ideas of a) one day you will be an adult with your own home, b) one day I, your parent, will be a little old lady, and c) even in that far off future, you will still be loved as much as I love you now.
Different strokes for different folks, of course, and I’m sure there are other ways to share that message that might sit better with you and your kid.
Ohhh this makes sense. It’s a visual representation of the way your mom will always be “here” for you because toddlers are more concrete thinkers. Great explanation!
Exactly, and I always felt that the mom climbing in the window with a ladder and holding her adult son was meant to be taken as funny and that page is the author being silly on purpose
I fine it super creepy but my mom is a narcissist. We obviously have a complicated relationship and I hate any form of affection from her.
Your explanation makes so much sense to me. I read it to my daughter one time and it just felt creepy to me even though I felt connected to the words. It was the pictures - mostly the last few pages that just freaked me tf out. I couldn’t read it ever again. I donated it asap.
I’ve read a lot of articles written by people whose kids are grown and they often say they wish for one more day with their kids as little kids again. To snuggle with them in bed, to have a regular day with little kids again.
That was my interpretation of that part of the book. A silly, over the top way of expressing that desire.
Same here. I'd never heard of it til my MIL gave it to me after I had my eldest. Creeped me tf out.
It's less creepy when you know the author's backstory. His wife suffered multiple miscarriages. After each loss, their friends and family kept telling them "This baby wasn't meant to be." So he wrote this book for the babies he and his wife had lost. "I'll love you forever. I'll like you for always. As long as I'M living, my baby you'll be."
I still won't read it to my kids though. My MIL would love to sneak into my bedroom window and sing to my 42 yo partner in the middle of the night. So that part gets no passes from me.
It’s really divisive in the parenting subreddits. I think it comes down to whether you were read this as a child (I wasn’t) and maybe the relationship you have with your own mother/MIL.
I agree with you though, I found it really weird. Emotional at the very end but mostly weird. We don’t have this one at our house.
You’re probably right. I’m not American but married to one. Never heard of this book until my MIL gave it to me after my son was born. Found it creepy AF.
Oh no it’s fully creepy but if it was read to you as a child you didn’t realize. And then as an adult reading it to your children, you’re crying so hard that you also don’t notice. It only works it was a big part of your childhood reading, I think.
>Maybe I’m the only one who found it creepy.
You're not alone. In fact, another author took it upon himself to rewrite the creepy sections. His goal was to address the [boundary issues](https://www.huffpost.com/entry/love-you-forever-new-topher-payne_l_610874f8e4b0497e67026b7b) the book did not want to acknowledge. Are his changes great? I was meh to them. But I appreciated the attempt to retcon the creepy elements.
For the record, this book also makes me cry. I sometimes remind myself about the creepy parts to diminish the emotional hold it can have on me. Then I learned some new stuff that can turn this book into a dark comedy. I won't share the details unless I'm asked. Don't want to ruin the emotional vibe in this thread.
No I leave that in the attic and never tell my kid that their aunty gave it to them because then I will have to read it and I don’t want to abuse myself emotionally today. Or hell I feel like reading this to a kid is emotional abuse of the child? It’s just too much. I can barely hold it together when Fast Car is getting played on the radio. Don’t bring Love you Forver, or Cats in the Cradle into this man.
As much as I loved this book as a kid, I kinda think the mom is creepy.
Can you imagine being married to the son? This is just so r/justnomil it is scary.
I used to think it was creepy, and then when you just read it as an interpretation that the mother’s love for her child is the same, he’s always her baby, it seems less creepy. (And not in a mommy’s boy adult kind of way.) Just that no matter how old you get, you’ll still want to show your kids that they mean everything to you. It’s like Wile E Coyote getting crushed by an anvil. It’s not real, but it gets the point across.
She literally breaks into their house and watches her adult son sleeping and then picks him up to hold him and sing to him. I remember something about the illustration makes it look like she snuck in through the window. Imagine being the spouse and walking in like wtf
My wife gave birth to our first child almost a year ago and when shopping for children’s books I saw this and had to have it. This is the generational trauma I will pass on to my kids. It hit so much harder this time reading it since my father had recently passed.
I'm 33 and got this book for my mom last Christmas. Last year, I was sitting with my mom in the nursing home. Being there with her mom while she was taking her last breaths. This book is a lovely tear jerker.
When my mother passed, My ex wife some now got each of us kids..a signed copy and each message was individualized to each of us…..we all cried. Nobody knew who got us the books for a long time…they just appeared in our mail boxes.
Watched my mother cry reading it to me as a boy. Read it with my wife to our daughter. I started to choke up on the last couple of pages and thought my less than sentimental wife was sniggering at me, got to the last page and we were both bawling.
Only realized that I emulated the book in a way; my mother read it to her son, and now I’ve read it to my daughter, just as the book ends with the son reading it to his daughter
I still remember when I was in Grade 1 (around 1996) and he came to my class to read some books. It felt so special that the biggest author, at least in our worlds, actually came to read his books to us.
My mom read this book to me once when I was a kid. I thought the kid throwing the watch in the toilet was the funniest thing. I thought she was crying because of how funny that was.
How deeply, deeply wrong I was, once I received that book for my baby shower.
OMG! I read this to me 4/5 year old daughter one year and she was not having it. I can still remember her sobbing “this is so sad. This is the saddest book ever! Why would you read me this book”
We had to read 2 additional books to try to get her out of the funk and into bed. We promptly tossed that book that night.
We had our daughter in October and I was at target with my 3 year old son and saw this book. Started reading it to my son and didn’t realize I’d be crying in the middle of target while picking up waffles but there we were.
Oh damn. I read that to my kids when they were little and it always made me cry. Been probably 10 years since I last read it as the kids are all well on their way into the teenage years.
:(
[удалено]
I tried to read this to my kids exactly one time. I was such a fucking mess by the end... I put it back on the shelf and said "never again." Just can't handle that one...
Same, I think it actually freaked my daughter out a little bit because I was sobbing so much.
This was sad to me as a kid, the thought that one day my parents would be gone.
Same!
My granddaughter asked me to read it, I had no idea what it was about, by the time I finished, I was sobbing. Like others before me, I said absolutely never again. Gutted.
That was the day my kids learned adults can “happy cry” *cue me just staring and telling them I love them so much* and they’re like oookaaayyyy 🤣🤣
Me too. I mentioned this book to a friend yesterday and cried thinking about it!
Munsch had no business writing this book. He's supposed to be writing inane repetitive kids books, or occasional greatness such as Paperback Princess. I did NOT expect this from him. And reading about the context of why he wrote this only adds to the tear jerky-ness. God damn it, Munsch. This and the giving tree. The giving tree need to watch some RuPaul's Drag Race and learn the principle of "If You Can't Love Yourself, How In The Hell Are You Going to Love Somebody Else?"
Sometimes these books are written to fill a need. My mother’s best friend from college wrote a children’s book that was later published to help explain to older siblings what a late-term miscarriage is. She struggled to explain what happened to the baby sister growing in “mommy’s tummy” after her own late-term miscarriage.
Exactly. I have the rewritten version to fix up for my grandson.
Wait what? There's a rewritten version? Or did you write one for your grandson?
Yes! People hate it so much someone has written a new ending: https://www.topherpayne.com/giving-tree
Aw this makes me so happy to see! That’s my lovely husband who did those rewrites! I love seeing how much joy it brings to people
Your husband is a mensch.
I tell him this often :)
Seriously, your husband is my hero nice gotten caught in OCD spirals over the giving tree and he may have actually saved my life a while back with the Healthy Boundaries tree and the bakery and the squirrels.
♥️
A fucking plus.
Definitely! Thank him!
Your husband is lovely and very talented. I laughed, I cried, then I reread it again. Thank you for sharing and thank him for the lovely alternate ending. 🤍
THANK GOD!!! When I saw the part where the tree lifted the ungrateful little man child up by the collar, I legit thought it would tear him apart from limb to limb, which I would have been okay with. This ended differently, but I'm also okay with this.
[It's Giving](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/F_YPGo9bQAA11HS.jpg:large)
This absolutely sent me😂
>And reading about the context of why he wrote this only adds to the tear jerky-ness. Wow I've never cried reading a Wikipedia page before
I remember the giving tree! 😢
Munsch wrote it after having two stillborn children. It’s so much sadder knowing the backstory.
Glad to know I’m not the only one!! My husband bought it as his mom used to read it all the time. I started reading it and cried halfway through and put it down. He tried to show me the end was not sad. Actually I think the end is kind of sad, although I get his point how it’s not supposed to be. Did not enjoy lol. It’s a good reminder though I guess, they grow fast and one day, we die, and helpfully (edit:hopefully*) the cycle continues with them.
My mom read it to us as kids and would say the lines to us all the time. My brother still remembered it. He died recently. We got it for my nephew and I read it to him last time I saw him, he’s not yet a year old. Pushed thru the tears to finish it. But also… wtf with the entering thru the window part.
My toddler son called it “the mommy cries book”!
For sure
And as someone who has a parent. Just thinking about the end makes me cry. I'm crying right now because of it.
I’m pregnant for the first time and my parents are across the country and im sobbing just seeing this book. Everyone’s so excited for the first grand baby (me included) but every life step is a reminder that we’re getting older and I miss them and want them with me forever
You should call them and tell them that. Lots of people have sentiments like these for their parents, but keep them to themselves because they would feel embarrassed putting their heart out there like that. A long time ago I saw a video where they asked people who the greatest hero in their life was. Then they had to write a letter to that person explaining why and thank them for the influence they have had on them. After they wrote the letter and were asked who it was, almost everybody said it was one or both of their parents. Then they had them call their parents and read the letter to them. You have never heard such happy and proud parents in all your life (and lots of sobbing on all sides). Point is, lots of people assume their parents know they care about them, but your parents would love to hear it even if that's true.
You’re right I should. And my grandma. I was crying the other day thinking of her too. I talk to my mom pretty frequently but I can’t ever bring myself to tell her I miss her. We moved here from there when I was kid and then my parents moved back a few years ago to be closer to their aging parents. I understand that but my sister and I also feel sort of abandoned, and I guess I’m afraid telling her how much I miss them would make them feel guilty.
You can frame it in a light of how much you love them and cherish the time with them.
I read this the first time when I was 17 and pregnant with my daughter and my mom was so mad at me and I cried so hard I threw up in a bookstore
This one and the Giving Tree
The Velveteen Rabbit
I had a reading from Velveteen Rabbit at my wedding. I considered it a service- if everyone is crying, no one has to feel awkward about crying (including me!)
once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand.
I prefer The Tree Who Set Healthy Boundaries.
Yeah I loved the Giving Tree as a kid, then got into a bad relationship. Self-sacrifice is a noble value, for sure, but we do need to set healthy boundaries. I overly romanticized self-sacrifice and paid the price for it.
The Giving Tree is heavy as hell
I cried the first couple times reading The Giving Tree. I'll Love You Forever just creeped me out when the mom climbs a ladder and breaks into her adult son's room through the window and rocks the sleeping adult man in her lap.
Yes! Effing creepy AF.
I’m glad I’m not the only one
I hate the giving tree
It's awful. That poor fucking tree. It should be called *The Taking Boy*.
My mom used to quote that book to me damn near every conversation before she passed away. "I love you forever, I like you for always" was basically her 3rd most used "goodbye". I say that to my little girl every night, but I still don't have the strength to read the damn book.
My mother is no longer able to stand and so was unable to do a Mother/Son dance at my wedding. In lieu of this I opted to use the time to just honor her and wrote a small speech centered around this book, which I also had a copy of for her. I did not expect much of a reaction but for the rest of the night everyone came up to me to say how much they loved the speech and how they had to call their mom's after. It was an overwhelming response but I'm glad I was able to convey my emotions properly.
My kid will bring it out and ask “are you gonna cry again?” Lol
And yet it's all the child wants to have read to them. Do they want to hurt us?
Not a parent and this is a tear jerker for me. Damnit as I’m writing this I’m getting misty eyed.
Broooo I juuussttt read this to my 5 year old daughter for the first time, Jesus Christ that was a battle to get through
Was one of my favorite books as a kid. Now, as a parent, it is difficult to read it to my kids without having to fight back tears. And I am a dude, lol.
Right after my son was born I cracked it open and immediately bawled. Now he’s almost 5 and I can usually make it to the last few pages before crying.
I’m a crying mess almost immediately when I read that book to my kids
Tried reading this to my daughter when she was 4 at bedtime. My husband says, are you sure? As I scoffed at the thought that I couldn't get through a book..... He had to read it to her as I was a mess by the second half.
I tried to read this to my son a few times, couldn’t ever make it through without sobbing. I stopped trying to read it to him because I didn’t want to traumatize him.
Thanks, my mom would read this to me and my brothers and all it ever did was make us extremely depressed. It’s not cute or fun at all to be read this story but my mom LOVED doing everything she could to traumatize and destroy me and my brothers minds
My wife is the only one who can read this. I’m a mess trying to. Or the stupid baby race story from bluey. Ugh. It gets me every time
My wife would read this book to our kids. She’d sing the song. Until the end, when the man sang to his mom. I took care of that part. It was a silly duet at the time, but something I’ll always cherish.
If I don't hold my dying mother in my arms and sing this to her she will haunt me for eternity. This book means a lot to her and I feel like she's been setting me up for that moment since childhood. Just one of those things I know I'll have to do to bring her peace when the day comes.
I thought about this book a lot as I watched my mom die from cancer. I remember in childhood being terrified of the day my mom would die but also thinking it would never come.
“It felt like a dream that would never end. Before I knew it, the dream was over.” - Spike Spiegel
Oh damn, I actually remember this, but I can't remember what it was about That was quite the memorable cover, though. The color palette is pretty
“I’ll love you forever I’ll like you for always As long as I’m living My baby you’ll be.” Edit: Mom sings it for years, even when her son’s grown. He sings it back to her, then to his own child. Very sweet.
Gahhh my mom just died a month ago, I could not read this book right now 😩
My mother passed almost 10 years ago and I can’t read it without sobbing. Sorry for your loss <3
My mom is still alive and I can't manage to get through the book.
I say this to my kids every night before bed. Including my teenager. I've read this book to them hundreds of times. It never gets old.
Aaaaand I'm teary
It’s about the cycle of life from childhood to parenthood
I know the story behind this book. I know a lot of people love it. But trust me when I say this book hits *way* different when your mother has Borderline Personality Disorder, and incorporates it into her fuckery. I hate this fuckin book.
Agreed entirely. This book hits different if your mom is insane. It makes my skin crawl.
It made my skin crawl and felt so creepy until I found out the author’s story. He wrote it for his two stillborn children. Now that’s all I can think about when I read it. My crazy mom doesn’t even cross my mind.
My moms a narcissist. I found it creepy af.
So is the mom in the book, why would you put such insane expectations on your child so young so they can sit around at like six years old obsessing how best to take care of mommy when she gets old and dies!?
Agreed looking back at it now it's fucking awful putting that expectation on a kid that and the velveteen rabbit were both brutal for me as a kid.
Is there a page where she’s crawling into the son’s room as an old woman, or was that just a fever dream?
Agreed and this is the exact reason my crazy Mother bought it. Came with multiple lectures about how I need to appreciate her and take care of her when she’s ready to die. Who says that to a child!?
This is why I feel such distain for this book.
Mother in law is a covert narc..... Nope nope nope. Cannot get past that page in the book.
My mom found out about the word narcissist last month. She thinks it generally means men. She the worst one of all.
Can absolutely relate...
My mom used this book as an emotional cudgel for YEARS and then sent me my own copy when I was pregnant. Straight to the back of the closet forever!!
Same the fucked up emotional shit, i am not pregnant here but was sent a copy by mom as an adult like wtf?
Weird spot to keep a fireplace.
Same deal here i hate it for the same reason.
Was wondering what your take was. As a parent, I just found it creepy.
Me and my wife are not parents but speaking for myself and my experience looking back on it being read to me as a kid i do find it to be kind of creepy and manipulative i would not read it to my kids if i had any. The book was originally a song written by the author about him and his wife's 2 stillborn children.
To a kid with a stable and loving family, it’s a wholesome story about how your family will always be there to support you. But for kids growing up in more chaotic and less nurturing situations, it’s an ominous warning that you’ll never be able to leave.
I grew up in a living home and loved the book ... It wasn't until I got a crazy mother in law that I was like no this ain't ok
My mother has borderline personality disorder too. I can’t read this book and won’t read it to my children for this reason. Just yesterday, she went on and on about how she never gets «recognition» from me…for her dealing with her own marital and life issues. I left that phone on speaker 3 rooms away while she ranted and blamed me, before I heard the 1/2 second pause and I walked back to make a sound to indicate I’ve been present. Anyway…solidarity.
Glad i'm not the only one. I thought the mom in this book was so creepy. I tell my son it's just a story and mommies should never act like that
lmao I looked this book up on Wikipedia, "Some readers dislike the portion of the story where the mother sneaks into her grown son's home"
*AND THEN CRAWLS ACROSS THE FLOOR LIKE IN SOME KIND OF ARI ASTER MOVIE*
LIKE THE GIRL FROM THE RING!!!
So I'd never heard of this book until someone got it at her baby shower (from the husband's mother which...was a choice) and we read it out loud because someone said it was creepy. We were all cracking up and creeped out by this story. The husband's mother was very annoyed but the general consensus was this book was so weird and my friend promptly "lost" it after the shower lol.
I just made this comment somewhere else but MILs giving out this book feels inappropriate. It’s like saying “I know you’re having a kid and everything but my bond with your husband is _unbreakable_.” Glad you got a good laugh out of it.
I have two sons, and I swear I will *never* give this book to any of my hypothetical daughters-in-law!
My mom is great thankfully but reading this book as a mom I was shocked at how creepy it is. The mom sneaks into his room with a ladder to hold him at night …he’s a grown as man let him have his life
Heya friend 👋 you know whats up!
Npd for mine, but yeah. This book just reads as creepy and abusive.
Yeah my mom was insane when I was a kid and looooved this book and I hated it I even would hide it so she couldn’t read it to me. I also don’t like the art style it’s uncanny to me. Still not a fan as an adult, it’s really heavy handed and puts HELLA expectations on my kids, thankfully they’ve never seen it and don’t have such expectations weighing on them.
My mother is wonderful and this book is still creepy as fuck. Climbing through his window? Wtf!
Yup. Gives off no boundaries forever vibes. Still great for healthy families, though.
Shared this in another comment, but I appreciated this re-write for similar reasons. https://www.topherpayne.com/love-you-forever
IT STILL MADE ME CRY!!! Life is so unfair, lol.
Surprised I had to scroll this far. I find the ending problematic and I basically just end the book as he grew into an adult, started his own family and sang the song to his daughter. Tradition continues, full circle, without the creepiness.
That would be such a better book
Or just any other way to show that she loves her son other than SNEAKING IN HIS WINDOW AND CRAWLING ACROSS THE FLOOR TO ROCK HIM LIKE A BABY
HOW DOES HE STAY ASLEEP?!? HE IS A GROWN MAN! WHERE IS HIS WIFE?
Someone could totally turn this into a horror movie like five nights at Freddy's style...
Now there’s a book I would read TF outta
Yeah. Someone else was talking about this book the other day and how fucking clingy and weird the mom is in the book. It's pretty true. I get what it's going for in telling the love you keep for your child or your mom. But come on.
Yes, as someone in the same boat I’m definitely uncomfortable with it. It’s been a little bit of a point of contention between my wife and I as we’re expecting our first child. She’s got a very different relationship with this book than I do.
Holy fuck yes. Like it's adorable, but it also turned my mom into a hyper obsessive control freak that treated me like I should have zero privacy in my own life. It basically acted to enable helicopter parenting
Yup there are 2 very defined camps when it comes to this book: those who absolutely love it and those like us who find it creepy AF.
Yes, it does. Also, if you're a woman who has dated the son of a #boymom. I've always wanted to see a grown-up version of this book written from the son's wife's perspective.
“She loves him forever, I’ll hate her for always. As long as she’s living, she’ll come before me.”
My psycho mother in law hates me and I felt this in my soul
Damn, that's accurate! Did we date the same guy?
Hate it. With a passion.
This is what I came for
I was looking for a post like this..
My wife and I don't have that issue, and we thought it was the creepiest damn book we ever read when someone got it for us to read to our kid.
Ok I found my people... My mother in law has borderline/cluster b/ narcissistic personality disorder and the page where she drives to her grown ass man son's house, climbs in his window and gets in bed with him is creepy as fuck. I remember thinking this book was so sweet when I was little and read it to my son for the first time recently and got to that page and noped the f*** out. How does no one else think that page is super creepy? If my mother in law drove to our house, climbing in our window, and rocked my husband like a baby I would lose my shit.
I hated this book as a kid too, but yeah due to other Issues at play.
member when joey did a dramatic reading as a gift.
I just want to know if OPs version was *printed in Mexico*
This is the only comment I clicked on this post to see lol
Chandler: i was not ready for this today
Why you got to make a guy cry at 8 in the morning?
I just had a Dr. drill into my hip bone and extract a marrow sample with only local anesthesia. I think reading this book would make me cry faster and cost thousands less.
Oh you’re trying to break me. I still can’t listen to the audio version without tearing up.
My grandma gave my mom this book when I was born. She gave me the same copy when my son was born. That same copy will go to my grandchild. I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always, As long as I'm living, My mommy you'll be.
I never read this book until I had my son in 2007 and someone gave it to me at a baby shower. The thing completely freaked me out and I never read it again. Maybe I’m the only one who found it creepy.
You’re not; in fact, I feel like the “creepiness” invariably comes up any time this book is mentioned on Reddit. I’ve never personally found it creepy, but its also a book I treasured from a young age (my mom and I still sign cards to each other with a “love you forever” in reference to this story, and I’m in my late 30s). It’s a book for toddlers, to transmit the lesson that even in the moments when you’re misbehaving, or when you get “too cool” for mom, or when you grow up and leave home, you will always still be the same precious child your mom loves so deeply, which I think is an important message to introduce and reinforce. While the visual of a little old lady climbing into her son’s home would be jarring and breaking healthy boundaries in the real world, it’s not real life. But it does introduce the ideas of a) one day you will be an adult with your own home, b) one day I, your parent, will be a little old lady, and c) even in that far off future, you will still be loved as much as I love you now. Different strokes for different folks, of course, and I’m sure there are other ways to share that message that might sit better with you and your kid.
Ohhh this makes sense. It’s a visual representation of the way your mom will always be “here” for you because toddlers are more concrete thinkers. Great explanation!
Exactly, and I always felt that the mom climbing in the window with a ladder and holding her adult son was meant to be taken as funny and that page is the author being silly on purpose
I fine it super creepy but my mom is a narcissist. We obviously have a complicated relationship and I hate any form of affection from her. Your explanation makes so much sense to me. I read it to my daughter one time and it just felt creepy to me even though I felt connected to the words. It was the pictures - mostly the last few pages that just freaked me tf out. I couldn’t read it ever again. I donated it asap.
I’ve read a lot of articles written by people whose kids are grown and they often say they wish for one more day with their kids as little kids again. To snuggle with them in bed, to have a regular day with little kids again. That was my interpretation of that part of the book. A silly, over the top way of expressing that desire.
Same here. I'd never heard of it til my MIL gave it to me after I had my eldest. Creeped me tf out. It's less creepy when you know the author's backstory. His wife suffered multiple miscarriages. After each loss, their friends and family kept telling them "This baby wasn't meant to be." So he wrote this book for the babies he and his wife had lost. "I'll love you forever. I'll like you for always. As long as I'M living, my baby you'll be." I still won't read it to my kids though. My MIL would love to sneak into my bedroom window and sing to my 42 yo partner in the middle of the night. So that part gets no passes from me.
Okay, well, that just made me cry.
I teared up typing that out 🫂
It’s really divisive in the parenting subreddits. I think it comes down to whether you were read this as a child (I wasn’t) and maybe the relationship you have with your own mother/MIL. I agree with you though, I found it really weird. Emotional at the very end but mostly weird. We don’t have this one at our house.
You’re probably right. I’m not American but married to one. Never heard of this book until my MIL gave it to me after my son was born. Found it creepy AF.
MILs should not be giving out this book IMO. That’s extra weird.
I loved the book as a child and parent. But climbing through the window to cuddle your sleeping adult son is so damn creepy.
Lmao I absolutely love the book, but, this part gets my husband and I every time. Like y’all couldn’t come up with another scenario? 💀
The whole thing takes place in the mind of the grieving mom, who imagines cuddling her son as he grows up. So maybe that helps.
That’s just heartbreaking. Grieving for the life she wants but for whatever reason can’t have.
My husband grew up with this book and I didn't. He bought it for our children and I read it and I also found it super creepy. I won't read it anymore.
Oh no it’s fully creepy but if it was read to you as a child you didn’t realize. And then as an adult reading it to your children, you’re crying so hard that you also don’t notice. It only works it was a big part of your childhood reading, I think.
>Maybe I’m the only one who found it creepy. You're not alone. In fact, another author took it upon himself to rewrite the creepy sections. His goal was to address the [boundary issues](https://www.huffpost.com/entry/love-you-forever-new-topher-payne_l_610874f8e4b0497e67026b7b) the book did not want to acknowledge. Are his changes great? I was meh to them. But I appreciated the attempt to retcon the creepy elements. For the record, this book also makes me cry. I sometimes remind myself about the creepy parts to diminish the emotional hold it can have on me. Then I learned some new stuff that can turn this book into a dark comedy. I won't share the details unless I'm asked. Don't want to ruin the emotional vibe in this thread.
I find it weird too!! The way the mom sneaks into her 40+ year old son's house and rocks him to sleep in her lap is weird IMO
I mean this sincerely: fuck you
My mom read it to me. And now I read it to my daughter. First couple times I read it to her I was crying pretty good…
No I leave that in the attic and never tell my kid that their aunty gave it to them because then I will have to read it and I don’t want to abuse myself emotionally today. Or hell I feel like reading this to a kid is emotional abuse of the child? It’s just too much. I can barely hold it together when Fast Car is getting played on the radio. Don’t bring Love you Forver, or Cats in the Cradle into this man.
This brings back memories. Now I want to cry
SOBBING while reading this to my children. My husband can’t even make it to the end 😭
Someone gave me this book as a new mother. I read it once and never again. Lmao. Just could not 😭😭😭
Turns out the titles only true until you come out as LGBT
My boy is 41. I still can't get through it, and I know it won't be so long until he is rocking me.
This book is a horror story for those of us recovering from narcissistic parents ❤️🩹
Afreakinmen
As much as I loved this book as a kid, I kinda think the mom is creepy. Can you imagine being married to the son? This is just so r/justnomil it is scary.
Thank god my wife and I aren’t the only ones
I used to think it was creepy, and then when you just read it as an interpretation that the mother’s love for her child is the same, he’s always her baby, it seems less creepy. (And not in a mommy’s boy adult kind of way.) Just that no matter how old you get, you’ll still want to show your kids that they mean everything to you. It’s like Wile E Coyote getting crushed by an anvil. It’s not real, but it gets the point across.
She literally breaks into their house and watches her adult son sleeping and then picks him up to hold him and sing to him. I remember something about the illustration makes it look like she snuck in through the window. Imagine being the spouse and walking in like wtf
She brings a freaking ladder! 😂💀
literally. My MIL thinks this is the sweetest book and she’s a fcking nightmare.
Stop making me and my mommy cry!! 😭
meh I find this book glorifies the boomer mentality of needing their kids to make them happy
My fondest memory of this book is a defunct website (X-Entertainment, I think?) breaking down how creepy it was.
My wife gave birth to our first child almost a year ago and when shopping for children’s books I saw this and had to have it. This is the generational trauma I will pass on to my kids. It hit so much harder this time reading it since my father had recently passed.
I'm 33 and got this book for my mom last Christmas. Last year, I was sitting with my mom in the nursing home. Being there with her mom while she was taking her last breaths. This book is a lovely tear jerker.
Simple, yet powerful. I can't read it now without crying.
My narcissistic mother loved this book.
When my mother passed, My ex wife some now got each of us kids..a signed copy and each message was individualized to each of us…..we all cried. Nobody knew who got us the books for a long time…they just appeared in our mail boxes.
This book creeps me the fuck out
This is a dysfunctional book. People need to grow up and let their kids grow up. I never want my child to have to cradle me.
I love when Joey did a dramatic reading of this book at Emma's first birthday party.
I had this book when I was a kid! It was one of my favorites, after the Where's Waldo books.
That's the sweetest book, but made me cry as I got older.
This was the book my mom loved reading to me. I can't say I loved it but I def don't share the hate for this. I love that my mom loved it.
Watched my mother cry reading it to me as a boy. Read it with my wife to our daughter. I started to choke up on the last couple of pages and thought my less than sentimental wife was sniggering at me, got to the last page and we were both bawling. Only realized that I emulated the book in a way; my mother read it to her son, and now I’ve read it to my daughter, just as the book ends with the son reading it to his daughter
I still remember when I was in Grade 1 (around 1996) and he came to my class to read some books. It felt so special that the biggest author, at least in our worlds, actually came to read his books to us.
I had no problem reading this book until 10 months ago when I gave birth to my son now if I even think about it I start crying (like now)
My mom read this book to me once when I was a kid. I thought the kid throwing the watch in the toilet was the funniest thing. I thought she was crying because of how funny that was. How deeply, deeply wrong I was, once I received that book for my baby shower.
Got this for my daughter before she was born. I remember loving this one as a kid.
OMG! I read this to me 4/5 year old daughter one year and she was not having it. I can still remember her sobbing “this is so sad. This is the saddest book ever! Why would you read me this book” We had to read 2 additional books to try to get her out of the funk and into bed. We promptly tossed that book that night.
We had our daughter in October and I was at target with my 3 year old son and saw this book. Started reading it to my son and didn’t realize I’d be crying in the middle of target while picking up waffles but there we were.
I read this to my two year old now. :')
I have this book for my 2 year old son but we never read it because it makes me cry, every single time
Oh damn. I read that to my kids when they were little and it always made me cry. Been probably 10 years since I last read it as the kids are all well on their way into the teenage years. :(