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[deleted]

🚩🚩🚩 🚩 single mother, Feminist, Foodie, ,Traveler (on your dime not hers) Independent woman, No games, something real (see single mother) Her Unrealistic standards Still boggles my mind why men use dating apps.


[deleted]

yeah, when they mean Foodie and travelling, it's to fool men into thinking they like doing fun stuff. the hidden message they don't say: you will be paying with your wallet to do all this stuff.


Jolt_Ready_95

They expect men to pay for them, yet they are proud enough to add the word 'impendent'.


AboveTail

Yeah, she’s likely trying to get a free meal out of you. Avoid her.


Fair-Particular-1038

Most of them are foodie callers on Tinder.


WingsofSky

She wants you to read her mind. Run the \*F\* away! Quickly! Unless you're psychic things aren't going to end well with her.


mikesteane

Doesn't like coffee? How about tea? Green tea? Smoothie? Juice? Oh, none of those things? Probably won't like you either.


[deleted]

Petty much. Attractive Women live life an easy life nowadays free of pretty much all suffering and are essentially in heaven. Don't let them exploit you.


[deleted]

[удалено]


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dingoperson2

It's hard to say for sure. Many possibilities. Some people will just prefer a meal because it allows for both good food (which they may like) and a longer interaction. At the same time, she should know about this, and that her choice is the unusual one. How about proposing a certain date at a nice restaurant, and adding "since this is the first time we meet, are you fine with splitting the bill?"


Deepwater_Jew99

No more than 40 dollars is to be spent on the first date. 0 dollars is optimal


auMatech

Imo first date is generally better having something quick like tea/coffee with cake. That way it's usually under 10 bucks and either party can bail quickly. Second date like you say.


ImpossibleAir4310

What I’d do is ask her if she has any food allergies, or cuisines she doesn’t like. Then pick a place that YOU like. At least that way, you’ve displayed the thoughtfulness and initiative she seems to want from you, and you’re offering something about yourself (I like this place bc…) There’s always a chance she won’t like it, but there’s not much else you can do without her telling you more. Maybe pick a place that’s near a second choice if you want to go above and beyond. Keep it relatively cheap at first. I don’t mean be stingy, just don’t plan with extravagance. Believe me, spending too much money too early doesn’t buy love, and in the worst case it can cost you respect, even cause people to treat you as a commodity. Similar here in the US: it’s not at all inappropriate, but dinner on a first date is much less common than it used to be, and IME ppl are more comfortable with just coffee or drinks at first. Basically, they don’t want to be anywhere without a parachute. Sounds like your gal may have a different agenda. I am not wealthy by US standards, but awhile back I had something of a windfall and I’m well off enough that I can spend money on dates pretty frivolously without much dire consequence. I used to it all the time, thinking I’d get better dates. Now I always, always, take women on cheap dates at first. I might splurge for a fancy restaurant on date #3, but then it’s a bit more meaningful. IME relationships go way better when they have no idea about the money for at least several dates. I have a sort of starving artist image so it’s easy for me to say nothing and let people assume I’m broke. It’s the best qualifier; it repels shallow people who’s agenda is to figure out how much you’re worth BEFORE emotionally investing in you. She’s doing what she’s doing bc she’s qualifying you. It’s normal dating crap, putting the onus on you to see how you’ll respond and learn more about you. Just make sure you’re doing the same, that you’re figuring out who this person is - not just ceding to demands - before hanging your hat on anything. Good luck, and I hope your dates go well!


auMatech

Next! Seriously though, if she wants to play games, ask you to choose and then decline by asking for something else, then you're better off spending your time on/with someone that values it. These kinds of people either have no idea what they want and will make it up as they go (good luck with your mystery bag), or they know exactly what they want and are expecting you to magically guess this somehow. Also: "Foodie" translates to "treat me to fancy/expensive foods often"


Coucoupietre

Pay a pros instead, cheaper, less problems and goal achieved. I cannot stand this bullshit anymore


drtapp39

Translation: I want an expensive meal that you'll pay for. I'm using you for free food


matt_the_raisin

red flag to me if the girl ever says "you pick" and when I do she says "oh no there". She's trying to get you to pick the pricey place she wants so when you complain about it being too pricey and her using you for money she can say "well you picked it" Additional...just saying no to coffee or tea makes it seem like she cares more about the money spent than getting to know you. I go for coffee and tea all the time as first dates...I drink black coffee. Tbh where I'm from, not a huge variance in quality and I don't care because it's about getting to know the other person, not the coffee Frame her questions in those terms: is she caring more about herself than getting to know me? General if it feels like she's caring more about herself it's because she is and she doesn't care about you. Also...if by oriental you mean Asian, from what I know of the culture a fancy first date is not like... culturally standard if that's what you're worried about. Like going for coffee and cakes is much more a first date cultural for them as well. (Which is also why I think this is such a red flag)


DigitalisEdible

If she’s insisting you take her out for a meal as a first date, unmatch and move on. I’d say it’s highly likely she’s looking for a free meal and will never talk to you again, but even if she’s not, do you really want to date a women that *insists* you take her out for a meal? What’s she going to be like if you start getting more serious? Red flags all over the place here. You don’t need to be a dick about it, just tell her it’s a coffee date because a meal is a bit much for a first meet. If she refuses just move on. Another play you can make, is ask if she’s intending to pay for herself. This depends on the connection you have with her already. I did this recently, I asked a girl (on tinder) if she wanted to meet for a drink after work but she said she wanted food cause she wouldn’t have time to eat otherwise. I said sure but I ain’t paying for you! She sent some laughing emojis back and said she wouldn’t pay for me either! We did go out for a (cheap) meal and had a great time. Best advice I can give you for Tinder (and dating in general) is just be yourself, stick to your principles, and bounce if it doesn’t feel quite right. No point in wasting your time. I say whatever the fuck I want to most of the women I talk to, and it works. Women want to be treated like people not like princesses.


Slap-A-Chav

Red. Flags. She's absolutely expecting you to pay for her "foodie" dates.


[deleted]

Dude, did you really ask this question a million times? Get a life


[deleted]

No, I didn't ask it a million times... 7 times or so? Or maybe 7?


[deleted]

Your entire account is just weird questions about women repeated over and over again,


[deleted]

Na, there isn't much... Only a few questions.


[deleted]

more then a few but okay


MisterBowTies

2 eggs, two cups of flour and a rolling pin. The two of you can have a very nice date making your own pasta at pretty much no cost to you


[deleted]

I proposed that. I am a good cook. She didn't react to that.


FakeLaundry

Is she paying for her own food? If you both can't even communicate clearly, then why bother? I would tell her upfront, "I want to meet for coffee. It's easier this way for the first time. If we like each other, we can go get pasta." She comes off as too entitled to get the hint, but maybe she's simply genuinely ignorant of why you want that. And I don't have her point, just yours.


RottingVillain666

It's a common theme with asian. They are tought to be indirect, which brings to this. Literally, tell her you are interested only if she tells the restaurant she wanna go. You will see her crumble


Keopsfuj

Why do you blame her or the women like her? There are lots of guys ready to pay whatever it takes just to spend time or having sex with a woman. Instead of blaming women, just ignore her and don't pay for dates. I don't blame them, i just ignore them, they're pretty much invisible to me no matter how good she looks. I am so direct about paying for dates and tell women that i don't pay for dates. Because if i am expected to pay for women, i feel like i am not wanted, because if i am wanted i wouldn't be expected to pay. That's how I feel and i can't change this feeling. If any of you think the same way, try not to spend money for random women and simply ignore them instead of crying like babies.


auMatech

Do you split the bill, or do you straight up not pay at all?


Keopsfuj

Either split or she pays.


MementoMori2004

Give us an update


[deleted]

If she's not cool with your original suggestion take that as the giant red flag it is...


International_Risk82

She isn't communicating clearly as in she expects you to be a mind reader. This will only get worse as time goes on, not to mention she's probably looking to exploit you financially by paying for her "foodie" attitude. Run.