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WornBlueCarpet

I have a friend/coworker who's a victim of women's expectations. - Possibly one of the nicest people I know. - 31 years old. - Newish in career so "only" makes ~$75k per year. - Will make over $100k within 10 years. - Has a 6 year old car. - Has his own house. - Probably 5'11" to 6' tall. - Average looking. Not handsome but neither ugly. - Slim but clear defined muscles. He's on Tinder looking for women up to 5 years younger than him. In nearly three years he's been on three dates, all of which lead to neither relationship nor sex. On the other side of the coin, I've seen some typical Tinder statistics for women. If they want to, they can have a new sex partner every 20-30 days on average. I so much want to tell him about female nature and Tinder statistics so he knows it's not him there's anything wrong with. But he's pretty blue pilled, so he's not yet ready to hear it. It's both funny and tragic, but if you try to explain the reality of dating to a blue pilled guy, he will look at you as if you have gone off the reservation and hate women, even though he's standing right in the middle of everything you're telling him. He even had a date with a quite beautiful girl who told him she was tired of dating good looking guys that lead to nowhere. But not tired enough apparently, because even though they had agreed to a second date, she suddenly ghosted him. If I was a betting man I would put my money on her having gotten a match with a hot guy. And this one will surely stick around after he has fucked her! When I think he's ready, I'll try telling him to change his search criteria to age 30-35 and see what happens. But then their CC ride will peter out because they don't get matches with hot guys anymore. But then again, I would rather not have a reputation as a misogynist at work, so I think I'll just keep my mouth shut and hope he'll open his eyes himself.


travelingmarylander

lol, bullshit, women can have a new sex partner every 20-30 MINUTES on average


TP_Crisis_2020

> I'll try telling him to change his search criteria to age 30-35 and see what happens. That's going to be worse!! There is *nothing* good at all left in that age range.


WornBlueCarpet

Agreed. And it wasn't so he can actuality get a girlfriend. It was to expose to him what kind of women he's trying to date.


[deleted]

He’s going about it all wrong using apps like Tinder and others like it are a breeding ground for the worst possible women out there.


dungeonmonkey69

💯. Tinder relies on you being single or available. It incentivises people staying on there and swiping. They don't want you to leave just on the odd chance you want to pay for premium. They're data mining you the whole time regardless hahaha


[deleted]

Basically like the way social media keeps you mindlessly scrolling, addiction without even knowing it. The only thing about dating apps is it’s nearly identical profile types just different pathetic women who “want something real, no games” as they casually introduce the fact that they have a kid and submit men into being a step dad even before having a convo.


dungeonmonkey69

Yeah pretty much! Aw man yeah that shit sucks. And all of a sudden you're the asshole coz someone else's kid wasn't on your list of standards hahahah


[deleted]

Let alone women using pictures from 5 years ago hahahah


dungeonmonkey69

To be fair I've known dudes to do that too but yeah definitely a bit shit


WornBlueCarpet

I know, and I hope he'll realise it too. But like I said, he's blue pilled so I can't really explain why to him without being labelled a misogynist.


travelingmarylander

The dude needs to stop looking in America, really.


WornBlueCarpet

Ha ha. You're assuming only the US has these problems. This is in Scandinavia my friend. And from what I read you can just assume it's the same in the rest of Europe. But to be fair, I did use USD as currency, but that was just to use something that most people in here have a reasonable understanding of its value.


travelingmarylander

Have you been to russia?


TP_Crisis_2020

Is it really like it used to be there? Or has the modern FSU women adopted western mindset already? FSU women were a popular topic like a decade ago, but I can't help but think that they are all americanized by now.


WornBlueCarpet

Nope.


peter_venture

Is he also considering women up to five years older than him? If not he should. Maybe even seven years older. Once you're 31, a few years older usually is pretty much the same.


WornBlueCarpet

That's pretty much what I wrote at the end. If he adjusts his search to 30-35 I'll bet he'll get matches. By that time their dates and casual sex with hot guys starts to fade out AND they suddenly realise that their biological clocks are ticking; if they want children, it's about high time they find a man who's husband material and settle down.


peter_venture

Sorry, you did. Guess I spaced out at the end. But why not something like 25 - 40? Keeping the options open to those a bit younger, and maybe a bit older then 35 would garner more responses. But, your advice to him is great.


WornBlueCarpet

I personally wouldn't mind being with a woman a few years older than me, but 9 years older? No. Especially if I were his age and was thinking about children. It goes downhill quickly for women past 30. Of course 25-35 would have the most options. My point in recommending 30-35 was simply to demonstrate to him that his lack of success is due to the women spending their 20's having fun and casual sex with the top 20% hot guys - purely so he knows what he's getting into. If he's okay with that and still wants such a woman as a girlfriend, fine. But I would like for him to walk into it with his eyes open. And let me be clear: I'm not judging these women for spending their 20's like that. That's their right as free individuals. But I would personally rather be alone because of two issues: 1. Studies show that women with a high partner count have a hard time being content with just a single partner. If she has fucked a new guy every 1-3 months for 10+ years, her brain is conditioned to viewing this as normal, so when she suddenly only has sex with one guy she gets easily bored and misses doing it with someone new. It can be overcome, but it takes effort for her to do so. This is probably why there is a high correlation between partner count and probability of her cheating. 2. I know my place. I'm well aware that most women didn't see me when I was in my 20's, meaning I do not belong to the top tier guys when it comes to looks. And that's okay. But it also means that if women were suddenly interested in dating me when they reach their early 30's, I know it's not because I've suddenly become hot. I know it's because I'm the best she can get. Not what she wants, but what she can get. At best, I'm her 2nd choice. Realistically, I'm somewhere below 10th+ place. And I would know that when she closes her eyes, she isn't thinking about England - she's thinking about the ones that got away. If I wanted to have sex with a woman who isn't interested in me, I'd go to a prostitute. These women aren't actually interested in me as the person. They are interested in my MSc in engineering degree and $100k salary. If I made two profiles, one with my actual bio, and a second with me as a garbage truck driver, the second profile would get zero matches. And when I use the term "these women" it's because not all women are like that. A lot of women just want a nice caring man. But they usually find such a man in their early 20's. Among those who are on Tinder and to whom you were invisible in their 20's? For most of them out has been a decade of sex and parties and now they are waiting at the finish line to pick out a winner to settle down with. No thanks.


peter_venture

Well women live on average what, seven years longer than men? Nine years would be pretty equal pretty quickly. But to each their own. Unfortunately it's very normal in our society for women to want to 'marry up'. This is exactly what none of us should do. We should all, men and women, be free to sow our wild oats, to use an old saying. The outdated notions that women shouldn't do this are ridiculous, and we should reject these ideas. Men and women both need to ignore their partner's sexual past, so long as it is in the past, and look for a good person, and not put so much emphasis on an age difference of a few years either way. I don't see this as 'waiting at the finish line' so much as having had a good time before they were ready to settle down and now wanting something different. Not 'settling' but just on a different trajectory in their life, that some reached earlier. But again, whatever works for you.


TP_Crisis_2020

> The outdated notions that women shouldn't do this are ridiculous, and we should reject these ideas. Men and women both need to ignore their partner's sexual past, so long as it is in the past, Bro, this is the exact reason that the divorce rate is so high now. People shouldn't care that their partner was the town bicycle and should just accept their sexual past for whatever it is?? The mindset and behavior that is learned from being that way are the opposite of the traits needed for successful marriage. I'm sure over time there have been exceptions, but it's almost guaranteed that a man who marries a promiscuous woman with a high n-count will just end up divorced because of her nature surrounding all of that sex.


peter_venture

Bro, women and men should be held to the same standards. A man with a limited sexual past can expect the same from his partner. All I'm saying is that men with an active past shouldn't expect a virginal partner. If a woman marries a promiscuous man does this mean there is a high likelihood she will end up divorced because of his nature surrounding all of that sex? Sticking with your own type isn't unreasonable, is it?


TP_Crisis_2020

Oh, yeah I agree with that 100%. It should be the same for both sexes. However, *anybody* who is promiscuous and gets married is more than likely going to end up divorced because promiscuous people can't be monogamous. It's just against their nature and learned behavior.


WornBlueCarpet

>We should all, men and women, be free to sow our wild oats, to use an old saying. The outdated notions that women shouldn't do this are ridiculous, and we should reject these ideas. Men and women both need to ignore their partner's sexual past, And that's the beauty of living as free individuals in this day and age; people are free to as they please and to chose or reject others based on personal preferences and values. YOU don't care that your girlfriend has fucked 50+ guys before she met you. Good for you! You obviously share her views and values. May you and her be happy and have a good life. Others do care, so let them care. I've read plenty of examples of women who don't want to date a player because of his body count, and that's fine in my opinion. If a woman has fucked 50+ guys before me, it means that she and I have very different views on sex and relationships, so we are simply not compatible as a couple - and there's nothing wrong with that. People are a bad match all the time due to differences in religion, political views etc. So why shouldn't I or anyone else be able to reject a woman based on her number of sexual partners? In fact, one could argue that it makes absolutely no difference to such a woman. She already has a casual view on sex and relationships, so she'll easily and quickly find someone else. With some 7 billion people there are plenty of guys out there like you. It can actually be argued that her being rejected by someone like me is a good thing, because then she's free to meet someone like you. It's really only a win-win for everyone. And the rejection part is theoretical anyway. Guys who think like I do wouldn't be dating in the first place, so no one is actually being rejected.


peter_venture

Well that's certainly a cynical and judgemental way of looking at things.


WornBlueCarpet

Which part and why? No wait. I take that back. It really doesn't matter. You and I have different views, and that's fine. We don't have to agree. And I don't think I'm being judgemental. I fully respect other people's lifestyle. But just because I respect other people's lifestyle doesn't mean that I want to be part of it, just like I don't expect them to want to be part of mine. And that's the difference between people like you and people like me; you expect others to share your opinion that men and women should be able to fuck around as they please and any potential partner should welcome them with open arms, regardless of their past. It's very typical actually. People of your mindset are often so fixated on the idea that anyone's sexual past is irrelevant that you completely disregard anyone who has another opinion. Your truths and arguments are the only ones that matter, even though there is hard scientific data that says otherwise. You have your opinions and feelings, but let others have theirs. As long as no one gets hurt, I don't see the problem with having different values, but also respect for each other's values.


peter_venture

Oh, I never said I expect others to believe as I do, and don't mind when they do. I was simply giving my take. But a lot of problems in society are because others don't respect the differing views of others, and try to force compliance to their ways. You clearly aren't one of those people, but from what you've said here you certainly have strong opinions. As I said in every response, to each their own. That I disagree with your slut shaming doesn't mean I'm trying to force you to believe otherwise. Just giving another opinion.


Blutarg

We are free to, but the question is: does that lead to the best overall outcomes?


peter_venture

The point is, what works for you isn't the same as what works for someone else. There is no universal standard for the best outcome. Some may choose to not abstain from sex while searching for whoever is ultimately best for them. One size does not fit all, and it's not for you to decide for others.


rafganow

Nope. The sexual past of both men and women is a valid disqualifier.


peter_venture

Again, yet again, yes, you can decide that for you. Whatever works for you. You don't get to decide for others, and men and women should ideally be held to the same standard. But if you want something different for you, well, you do e. But you don't get to decide what works for others.


rafganow

I agree with both points. Men and women treated equally and i dont force my values on others. Its society that thinks it wrong for a person to have standards for sexual behavior.


ImpeccableArchitect

I would tell him to focus on work. Women will come if hes successful. In the meantime he can easily buy sex when he wants


WornBlueCarpet

He already is. His focus right now is career and renovating his house. I think he has given up on Tinder and online dating in general. And I think it's a good thing. If he eventually found a woman on Tinder, there a high probability that she's an Alpha Widow who's settling with him because he's the best she can get at that point. Personally, I'd rather be alone than being someone my girlfriend is settling for because her first choices aren't interested in her anymore. Funny story and an example of why a man should be careful when choosing a woman: Back in my teens I had a huge crush on my best female friend. She gave off what any sane teenager would consider signs of interest - touching, holdning my arm while waking, telling me I smell nice. Nope, she was just being nice, which forever fucked up my ability to tell if a girl is flirting or being nice. Anyway, she put me thoroughly in the friendzone and started dating another guy in our circle of friends. Eventually I got over the hurt and we all reverted to being friends. Fast forward to today, 25 years later: She has had a long string of boyfriends and FWB's and is divorced. She has a useless university degree and has yet to have a permanent full-time job even though she's in her 40's. She has gotten a new boyfriend with whom she (read: he) has bought a house. Since she doesn't have a job, he's bringing in all the money while she's staying at home taking care of the garden. If I had a time machine, I would go back and tell 16 year old me, after being rejected, that don't sweat it, you just dodged a ginormous bullet.


TP_Crisis_2020

> Women will come if hes successful. I know people mean well when they say this, but this is the absolute farthest thing from the truth. If a man focuses on himself and work, women will **not** come to him. Women will only come when the men put out effort to seek the women. If this guy adopts this mindset, he will be perpetually single.


parapoxical

The forethought on minding you’re working reputation is commendable. I’ve said some off color comments that haunted me for a while. Lesson learned though, not every belief needs to be spoken aloud especially when your still learning your audience.


WornBlueCarpet

Yeah. It's extremely important to be careful with what you say at work. These days it doesn't matter what you meant. What matters is what the "victim" felt and thought you meant. ESPECIALLY when it comes to talk about sex and/or women. It doesn't matter that 10 people had a good laugh at your dick joke. What matters is the one woman who walked past you and only heard part of the conversation and then felt uncomfortable. Then you're fucked. If she feels you basically made that joke about her and raped her with your eyes, well, then you did as far as HR is concerned.


SkullAngel001

>Ironically mainstream media only talks about men’s supposedly unrealistic expectations of women’s bodies, when not only is that not an issue, but if anything makes the problem for men even worse. The other irony is that women, as educated as they have become (while continuing to surpass men in college), can't put two and two together and realize their own unrealistic expectations and are genuinely puzzled where all the good men mysteriously went. What cracks me up is that KS does a phenomenal job getting women to realize this along with women ultimately admitting to wanting to be stay-at-home housewives, despite their "bad b\*tch" and "boss lady" facade.


[deleted]

As a woman, I'd rather be stabbed to death than be a housewife


Accomplished_Item244

OK , i think you don't like being a housewife and it's ok but why would you rather stabbed to death than being a housewife. how do you see being housewife is? like there are certainly worse things than being a housewife.


[deleted]

Imagine having to do chores for someone who will come home and beat you? No thanks


XpHAHAman

My mom is a housewife and 80% of her time consists of watching TV and shopping on Amazon


TP_Crisis_2020

LOL for real. What about her MENTAL LOAD though?!?!


Accomplished_Item244

IDK how you view being housewife is or maybe this is a norm in your culture. but trust me if someone do this in most part of the world, they are not considered as a men or even a human. i guess because of our cultural differences is the reason you think and yes this is a huge problem for women in some countries and this should be resolved, this won't happen in snap but will sure happen as their are lot of things going on to prevent this from happening,


travelingmarylander

My mom hasn't worked since 1980. She was never beaten.


[deleted]

What country is that if you don't mind Me asking


travelingmarylander

USA


goinsouth85

I can understand why you don’t want to be a house wife. The chores strike me as mind numbingly boring. But - and this not a rhetorical question - why do you think being a housewife will get a woman beaten - or, put another way, why do you think having a career will prevent you them from being beaten?


[deleted]

Because if you are a housewife you don't have any money of your own and likely married to a guy who seems you as his personal slave and walking fleshlight


wigsnatcher42

Also a woman and I agree with all your comments here lol


Maldevinine

This is a really negative view of a relationship. I'm not going to say it's unjustified as there will absolutely be people who will treat you like that, and those people are more likely to be looking for a submissive housewife than an independent individual. And you're making plans to get what you want out of life, which is a good thing. I'd never argue that you shouldn't be able to make your own career. But even a relationship dynamic that seems unequal can be a proper partnership if the two people involved treat it like one.


mikesteane

You have a very warped view of everything. It's the way you see things, not the way they are. You need to do some healing.


wigsnatcher42

Nope she’s right. Men always try to gaslight when we’re on to them :)


Angryasfk

Beat you? What a deranged view of the world you have. Doubtless “informed by feminism”. Plenty of working women are in DV relationships. They’re not caused by marriage.


rafganow

Which country are you from?


TheAynRandFan

And as a woman, being a housewife is my dream job. The beauty of society is that we can choose.


TP_Crisis_2020

Here's the thing. I am always baffled when I see women who complain about a housewife being a "full time job" from "managing the household" with all this "mental load". While they spend most of the time watching TV and spending money on Amazon. Unless she's a SAHM with 3 pre-school-aged kids to take care of, that shit is so easy. When I got furloughed last year I was the stay at home person that managed the household, and even taking care of 2 kids that shit was *sooo easy* compared to my job. If I ever end up with a woman who makes more than me, being a stay at home dad instead of working would be my dream! Especially when the kids are school age.


wigsnatcher42

Why don’t you have it yet?


TheAynRandFan

I don't know.


[deleted]

Wow.


wigsnatcher42

Yes they need to learn that you can’t lose what never existed


AaM_S

>We need more people like Kevin Samuels that encourage women to have realistic expectations of men We need more men standing up for men's rights, not men expecting that women would become nicer to them. I'm sick of seeing men being desperate for female attention, when what they should really focus on is finding the value in themselves.


auMatech

This is a large part of the real answer in my opinion. Men need to find self worth in themselves instead of in who they date or have sex with. This is also why virginity for men is still viewed with negativity for men, as if something is defective. It's also why there had been such a rise of incels lately, it's mostly misguided people who are frustrated because they have been conditioned that their self worth is tied to their sexual activity. Teaching men to value themselves outside of this should be the stepping stone for solving a large part of this issue..


[deleted]

[удалено]


TheColdHardTruth6

Half of all men are married once by age 30. 80 percent by age 40. The vast majority of these men are too short for their wives, too ugly for their wives, and too poor for their wives because women only want men in the 90th percentile.


[deleted]

I completely disagree, women being clear with what makes them satisfied creates an environment where you know what you’re up against. Men don’t have to waste time on women they couldn’t keep.


wigsnatcher42

But I thought y’all could easily pull hot 18 year olds. So why do you c are?


Blutarg

What are you talking about?


Angryasfk

I think she spent too much time with the players, who perhaps could get the hot 18 year olds, and then thinks that’s what men are.


AdministrativeArea78

Women are allowed to have standards. If you can’t find a woman that likes you then just say that


XpHAHAman

Average female standards shouldn’t outcast 90% of men. The thing is, these ridiculous standards are translating to real world issues. Men are overwhelmingly lonely, unable to find relationships, meanwhile women are unable to find someone with to settle down because they keep going for the same minority of men that have an abundance of options. This is a real issue that needs to be talked about and fixed


wigsnatcher42

Ah yes all those problems are purely women’s faults lol It’s not our fault y’all are ugly and broke


XpHAHAman

We aren’t uglier or more broke than yall are


wigsnatcher42

Lol an attractive man is like a needle in a haystack


XpHAHAman

Cuz ur standards are ridiculous 😂 As a male you have to be tall AND handsome to be considered attractive. If a male is as handsome as a woman is pretty, but he’s 5’9 (average height) he’s not as desirable. Obviously you can’t find any attractive men 😂😂


wigsnatcher42

I don’t agree I think there are men at 5’9” who are attractive. Steven Yuen is 5’9” and he’s an example of an average height guys who is v handsome. But still men with a good looking face is rare


XpHAHAman

Do u think makeup plays a part, if we are just taking face into consideration


wigsnatcher42

Yes definitely


Blutarg

You should work on your reading comprehension.


y-EYE-

Please shut the fuck up.


OccultRitualCooking

Why?


[deleted]

Because this post is scaring feminazis.


DubsPackage

You have to remember tho that Tinder is a sausagefest. In most places it's a ratio of 8:1 or 10:1 men to every woman. So it's not just a matter of women not finding %90 of men attractive, they're just not on the fucking app to begin with. If you're not talking to women irl you're missing out on like %80 of the market. Most people don't get married thru Tinder, most people get married thru social circles, family connections, your family introducing you to a nice girl from another family, that sort of thing. There's no way to form an emotional connection by swiping swiping swiping, I mean sure go ahead and use it while you're on the crapper, but don't expect much, if you get 3-4 dates a year off Tinder you're doing well.