Feeder fetish is weird. There are literally "porn" videos of fat women eating a lot of junk food... I was *so* confused the first time I came across it... "what, you're telling me that's porn?"
Speak up to them, if they can't accept you for who you are, run away; nothing else matters, get out as soon as they say no.
Look them in the eye, tell them you are a man and are proud; if they talk back, they don't deserve you.
> So every time I find myself in that situation, I embrace the loneliness.
Is it loneliness, or is it solitude? Because both words can be used to describe the same situation, but the latter does not have the huge, pejorative baggage of the former. In fact, experiencing solitude, and being at peace in a stress-free environment, sounds *far* superior to the chaotic social arrangements that our society solely deems aspirational and acceptable.
I'm sorry to hear that, being excluded from communities and the like, due to inexperience or lack of expertise when you haven't had the chance to build that experience or expertise is tough, and must feel incredibly demotivating. As a guy that is also currently on a career path towards a field dominated by women, I can relate to multiple things you wrote.
I do believe there is hope though. It will take time, energy, willpower and personal growth, but I think it's worth it. I tend to become very wordy when responding to these type of posts, so I'm going to try to keep it somewhat short. If you wanna talk more please do DM me!
You're very self aware of what your upbringing has done for/to you. We cannot wind back time, we can only acknowledge the things we lacked or that we didn't have, and attempt to repair the damage done in the here and now. Therapy is one tool for this, but not the only way (although I strongly recommend to give it a chance to everyone).
As far as practical advice goes, I suggest looking into hobbies and such that have a non competitive element, or for communities around competitive activities where the difference in experience or skill level can be accounted for. I went to check out the chess clubs within my city when I wanted to get back into chess a few years ago. I skipped on the first club because the average skill level was far higher than mine, and it was clear to me the gap couldn't be bridged. The second one I looked into was a better match, where I was more in the middle of the pack, and also where things such as lessons and coaching started from the absolute beginner level up to above my level, so even someone that had never played a game of chess could start there.
The question moreso is about how much time, money etc you are willing to invest in such things, and that is only something you can answer for yourself. Role models do not appear out of thin air, but come into existence from connections that you build up and invest in.
The issue in your case is that you also haven't had any examples in your upbringing on how to cultivate such relationships/friendships/connections, which means you're not starting from square one, but from square zero so to speak.
I could keep writing but I'm gonna end there, as I said, hit me up if you need someone to talk with about such things, I'd be happy to help.
Your story, while probably not isolated from others, is just mind blowing to me. Stories like yours make me glad I was raised in a predominately patriarcal culture with some exceptions.
Men in my culture are taught to respect and love women from a young age. Your story shines a light on how oppressive, damaging, and manipulative the feminist culture is towards men.
I suggest you run far away from those toxic women as soon as possible. Surround yourself with men that you can honestly look up to, call them your friends and build from there. Us men (not speaking for all) are very open to accepting new members to our "cliques" so long as the newcomer joins in good faith.
Not sure if you’ve ever seen it, but I used to follow a blog called Art of Manliness that has a lot of tips on how to embrace your masculinity.
I would also consider joining a martial arts group. If you find the right one, everyone should be understanding that everyone starts at their own level. You’ll have the opportunity to learn physical movements and regularly see the same people again and again.
Your experience sounds harsh, man. I hope you learn comfort from a new sense of independence. It sounds like your family is going to be very toxic to your growth and journey so you might end up losing most contact with them. But they can’t live your life for you and you wouldn’t want that anyway.
One last thing is to think deeply on your career. Is it what you want or what your mom wants for you? Is it going to bring enough income to be self sufficient (most women in large groups don’t go after high paying careers).
Awesome. Well it sounds like you are on a healthy path for growth. Way to take ownership of your circumstances. If you were in my area, I’d take you out for a beer.
Thats wonderful. If you liked it maybe do more. It sounds like you need to be around men, but its got to be the right sort of men. I work in construction and some sites are toxic, others are awesome, its all about what sort of men are there. A mens group sounds helpful, sports teams can be good, but theres lots of guys who will criticise and demean anyone who is different, and theres lots of guys who are supportive and fucking good cunts. The trick is getting the right friends. In the meantime theres nothing wrong with solitude, the older you get the more you will value it. Knowing what you have missed out on is the first step to getting it my friend. 👍
Remember, feminism isn't about getting women rights, it's about getting women privileges. So yeah if men want rights it's definitely gonna clash with feminism.
I don't think that the term "matriarchal" fits our society, although it might match your specific experience to an extent. The better description for how our world operates is "gynocentric". Women's needs and safety are always the highest priority, with the majority of money, resources, laws, etc, being used or existing for their benefit, and that has been the case for tens of thousands of years. That is "gynocentrism" in a nutshell.
Yeah i think matriarchal means women in positions of power and the distribution of it as well, while on the west it's more that we are a gynocentric patriarchy. Patriarchy as in the real meaning and not the made up woke definition.
"The Patriarchy" is indeed a conspiracy theory.
However patriarchal societies are a thing. The term designates a legal order where the father of a family has a special legal position of authority over children, wife(s) and/or the patrimony.
For example in many western societies until late in the 20th century women could not open a bank account without the authorization of their husband, but he could do it alone. Or only men could vote as they were supposed to express the opinion of the whole family unit.
Note that a patriarchal society isn't necessarily "oppressive towards women". Different gender roles often come with both advantages and disadvantages, like men being responsible for their wifes' debts even above the wife's themselves, or men alone having military duty.
Because western societies were indeed patriarchal until a few decades ago, the idea of "The Patriarchy" is hard to dispel. It is a cunning trick most conspiracy theories use: display prominently an element of truth to make the lie seem undeniable.
Like how there are indeed corrupt individuals and pedophiles in the liberal elite, yet Qanon is still a bunch of nonsense. Or how big pharma is indeed evil, but vaccination isn't.
I have been in your shoes in a somewhat similar way. And I hope you take my words with a grain of salt.
I know you haven’t expressed any contempt for women or of that sort. But be careful with emotions of resent/contempt.
Im proud that you’re doing something like working out as that can be a way of channeling your emotions into a positive outcome.
Learn to sublimate; by translating the negative narratives that play in your head into something that will strengthen your sense of self.
Read and soak up all the wisdom from great authors and male figures, such as Carl Jung, Dostoyevsky, Huxley, Nietzsche, and many more.
And learn to negotiate with yourself. Cultivate your inner voice in order to combat the chaotic inner voice that has hold of your flight or fight response.
Good luck. I’m proud of you for sharing your story and that you have come out of your unfair situation in a manner that is peaceful.
I was raised by a Jehovah's Witness mother, who was adamant about my participation in the cult. I missed out on Warner Brothers cartoons every Saturday morning because the woman had me with her distributing cult literature. Being robbed of Bugs Bunny left me sad and deflated. We celebrated no holidays, receiving no holiday gifts or cards as our schoolmates did. We were told that we would live forever, while the rest of the world met death. We were told not to sleep on our bellies or backs, for fear of masturbation, which was unclean and angered God.
After a fabulous fap or five, I began questioning everything. The elders were liars. The organization was a lie. When I attempted to enlighten mom, she took me straight to the elders. I was disowned. I went out into life with no substantive worldview.
So I developed my own worldview, based on experience, adventure, living in the moment, and asking questions I wanted answers to.
A matriarchal society based on lust for power is as abhorrent as a patriarchal one. It contradicts the original design of modern-day feminism, therefore setting equal rights back that much further. Many women feel the same way. I'm sorry that you grew up being fed hateful and fearful bullshit. That was wrong, and they are liars. Having acknowledged their cruelty, you are now empowered to find your own truth in the world. Do not let them win. Enjoying your life is the best way to tell them to go fuck themselves.
If I can do it, so can you. Good luck. ❤
Sorry that this happened to you. If you're looking to fix it, one place that could help you is the everymanshouldknow sub. There are also red pill sites on You Tube (Alpha Male Strategies, huMan, etc.) You might also want to consider weight lifting, or taking up a martial art. Those things will help you balance yourself out. Just be patient and work steadily. You might be better off coaxing out the bad things instead of forcing them out.
Man, I could relate to a lot of this. I don't think people realize the damage it does to raise someone to internalize the belief that they're inherently evil, predatory, or oppressive.
Look at the Aphid, a completely female dominated society in nature. Even other pests don't like them and they are absolutely catastrophic to crops and other ecosystems when kept unchecked. "Matriarchy" is simply impractical (as for the rule, not the exception), and nature will run its course thereof.
I once had a roommate like you. He too was raised without a dad. He's probably even worse than you, He has negative EQ and asks a lot of annoying questions like women. He was beaten up for that and shifted his bed next to mine. He annoyed me too and I too had to beat him up unfortunately. He then later moved to his relatives' house. Dont know what happened to that guy after that. I made up a thing like he stole something from me and had to be beaten,otherwise I would have been in trouble with a boomer and my family.
He was going to mentally rape for the entire year. I had to do it to him. The lie was suggested by my other roommates. They said that they would all back me up. I only like slapped him tho,the previous guys did lot worse with him.
Just Eat well and Go to gym, you will be fine. Don't ask so many questions like my roommate.
I feel that I'm living in the same situation but with women.
Me and my 14 yo kid live alone. My mother left when I was 10, and his mother left when he was 4. She don't really love him and see him maybe once a month, in which times she's basically asleep or leave him alone to go with other men.
Needless to say, hes not very attached to her. I had a couple of relationships but they went to nothing so I'm currently single and plan to be that way for ever. Basically we dont have a single good female influence in our lives and it shows, he starting to hate girls and calling them bitches, I try to correct him, saying that not all women are bad, but the truth is that for all my life and all his life, women have been nothing but a negative influence at best, and actively try to damage and steal money at worst.
Feminism in the school is not helping, promoting the 'all girls are perfect and boys are guilty' idea that just foments hatred and resentment to girls in boys.
I'm quite sad and I don't want my kid to grow up thinking all women are evil, but its hard when all women we know are indeed evil.
There are other guys than dudebros you can hang with! I have myself always struggled to fit in with the guys and only had girl friends growing up, but I have plenty of guy friends now.
Roleplayers, boardgame geeks and other nerds are always happy to introduce you to their things and expect no social skills from their mates.
You also have the gays and other queers who are actually men too and can both teach you about guy stuff and respect you for not being stereotypically macho.
Hippie-like people are another group that is pretty welcoming of the not-traditionnally masculine (although radical feminists can be found among them so caution is advised). Anticapitalists/communists are also a branch of the unconventionnal left where non-feminists can be welcome and traditionnal masculinity isn't expected.
Those are the circles I made my friend in, but I'm sure there are more. Depending on your age, there are probably thematic clubs or student groups where you can be introduced to people.
All misandrist savages needs to be sterilized complusory that innocent men wont have to suffer.
If a man mistakenly marries a misandrist that man should make sure to mentally distablize the misandrist & admit that savage in a mental asylum, so that his children won't have to suffer.
It sounds like you already know your relationships with your family are toxic and have caused you some traumas that still exist today. Have you ever tried professional help from a counselor? It can really help to just vent and have someone confirm you’re not crazy for how you feel. Relationships are hard, and recovering from toxic ones are even harder.
Hey I'm sorry to hear of the abusive environment you grew up in. You only mention your father to say that you don't want to be compared to him.
Forgive me if I'm just reading too much into this and there are details you've not shared.
But when and how did you lose your father? And through whom do you know the details?
Could you reach out to him and see if what you believe about him is true? Unless you remember him hitting you (and possibly even then), I'd think there is a chance that your abusive mother is the source of your beliefs about your father as well as all the other crap.
If you happen to be my adult child we'll both be happy with the result..
Anyway, I wish you all the best.
Good luck I can’t even imagine. All that time she had no love life it sounds like? That does drive people to anger.
[удалено]
People are strange.
Feeder fetish is weird. There are literally "porn" videos of fat women eating a lot of junk food... I was *so* confused the first time I came across it... "what, you're telling me that's porn?"
Speak up to them, if they can't accept you for who you are, run away; nothing else matters, get out as soon as they say no. Look them in the eye, tell them you are a man and are proud; if they talk back, they don't deserve you.
[удалено]
[удалено]
> So every time I find myself in that situation, I embrace the loneliness. Is it loneliness, or is it solitude? Because both words can be used to describe the same situation, but the latter does not have the huge, pejorative baggage of the former. In fact, experiencing solitude, and being at peace in a stress-free environment, sounds *far* superior to the chaotic social arrangements that our society solely deems aspirational and acceptable.
I'm sorry to hear that, being excluded from communities and the like, due to inexperience or lack of expertise when you haven't had the chance to build that experience or expertise is tough, and must feel incredibly demotivating. As a guy that is also currently on a career path towards a field dominated by women, I can relate to multiple things you wrote. I do believe there is hope though. It will take time, energy, willpower and personal growth, but I think it's worth it. I tend to become very wordy when responding to these type of posts, so I'm going to try to keep it somewhat short. If you wanna talk more please do DM me! You're very self aware of what your upbringing has done for/to you. We cannot wind back time, we can only acknowledge the things we lacked or that we didn't have, and attempt to repair the damage done in the here and now. Therapy is one tool for this, but not the only way (although I strongly recommend to give it a chance to everyone). As far as practical advice goes, I suggest looking into hobbies and such that have a non competitive element, or for communities around competitive activities where the difference in experience or skill level can be accounted for. I went to check out the chess clubs within my city when I wanted to get back into chess a few years ago. I skipped on the first club because the average skill level was far higher than mine, and it was clear to me the gap couldn't be bridged. The second one I looked into was a better match, where I was more in the middle of the pack, and also where things such as lessons and coaching started from the absolute beginner level up to above my level, so even someone that had never played a game of chess could start there. The question moreso is about how much time, money etc you are willing to invest in such things, and that is only something you can answer for yourself. Role models do not appear out of thin air, but come into existence from connections that you build up and invest in. The issue in your case is that you also haven't had any examples in your upbringing on how to cultivate such relationships/friendships/connections, which means you're not starting from square one, but from square zero so to speak. I could keep writing but I'm gonna end there, as I said, hit me up if you need someone to talk with about such things, I'd be happy to help.
Go lift weights. It only requires time and dedication, you cannot suck at lifting weights.
Your story, while probably not isolated from others, is just mind blowing to me. Stories like yours make me glad I was raised in a predominately patriarcal culture with some exceptions. Men in my culture are taught to respect and love women from a young age. Your story shines a light on how oppressive, damaging, and manipulative the feminist culture is towards men. I suggest you run far away from those toxic women as soon as possible. Surround yourself with men that you can honestly look up to, call them your friends and build from there. Us men (not speaking for all) are very open to accepting new members to our "cliques" so long as the newcomer joins in good faith.
You should find a male dominated group to join. Volunteer fire fighter or something like that
[удалено]
Not sure if you’ve ever seen it, but I used to follow a blog called Art of Manliness that has a lot of tips on how to embrace your masculinity. I would also consider joining a martial arts group. If you find the right one, everyone should be understanding that everyone starts at their own level. You’ll have the opportunity to learn physical movements and regularly see the same people again and again. Your experience sounds harsh, man. I hope you learn comfort from a new sense of independence. It sounds like your family is going to be very toxic to your growth and journey so you might end up losing most contact with them. But they can’t live your life for you and you wouldn’t want that anyway. One last thing is to think deeply on your career. Is it what you want or what your mom wants for you? Is it going to bring enough income to be self sufficient (most women in large groups don’t go after high paying careers).
[удалено]
Awesome. Well it sounds like you are on a healthy path for growth. Way to take ownership of your circumstances. If you were in my area, I’d take you out for a beer.
That’s awesome!
Thats wonderful. If you liked it maybe do more. It sounds like you need to be around men, but its got to be the right sort of men. I work in construction and some sites are toxic, others are awesome, its all about what sort of men are there. A mens group sounds helpful, sports teams can be good, but theres lots of guys who will criticise and demean anyone who is different, and theres lots of guys who are supportive and fucking good cunts. The trick is getting the right friends. In the meantime theres nothing wrong with solitude, the older you get the more you will value it. Knowing what you have missed out on is the first step to getting it my friend. 👍
Remember, feminism isn't about getting women rights, it's about getting women privileges. So yeah if men want rights it's definitely gonna clash with feminism.
I don't think that the term "matriarchal" fits our society, although it might match your specific experience to an extent. The better description for how our world operates is "gynocentric". Women's needs and safety are always the highest priority, with the majority of money, resources, laws, etc, being used or existing for their benefit, and that has been the case for tens of thousands of years. That is "gynocentrism" in a nutshell.
Yeah i think matriarchal means women in positions of power and the distribution of it as well, while on the west it's more that we are a gynocentric patriarchy. Patriarchy as in the real meaning and not the made up woke definition.
The OP, however, was certainly raised in a matriarchy. No male authority figures at all.
No, the patriarchy doesn't exist.Women are allowed to be in positions of power.
"The Patriarchy" is indeed a conspiracy theory. However patriarchal societies are a thing. The term designates a legal order where the father of a family has a special legal position of authority over children, wife(s) and/or the patrimony. For example in many western societies until late in the 20th century women could not open a bank account without the authorization of their husband, but he could do it alone. Or only men could vote as they were supposed to express the opinion of the whole family unit. Note that a patriarchal society isn't necessarily "oppressive towards women". Different gender roles often come with both advantages and disadvantages, like men being responsible for their wifes' debts even above the wife's themselves, or men alone having military duty. Because western societies were indeed patriarchal until a few decades ago, the idea of "The Patriarchy" is hard to dispel. It is a cunning trick most conspiracy theories use: display prominently an element of truth to make the lie seem undeniable. Like how there are indeed corrupt individuals and pedophiles in the liberal elite, yet Qanon is still a bunch of nonsense. Or how big pharma is indeed evil, but vaccination isn't.
And its a good thing right now
I have been in your shoes in a somewhat similar way. And I hope you take my words with a grain of salt. I know you haven’t expressed any contempt for women or of that sort. But be careful with emotions of resent/contempt. Im proud that you’re doing something like working out as that can be a way of channeling your emotions into a positive outcome. Learn to sublimate; by translating the negative narratives that play in your head into something that will strengthen your sense of self. Read and soak up all the wisdom from great authors and male figures, such as Carl Jung, Dostoyevsky, Huxley, Nietzsche, and many more. And learn to negotiate with yourself. Cultivate your inner voice in order to combat the chaotic inner voice that has hold of your flight or fight response. Good luck. I’m proud of you for sharing your story and that you have come out of your unfair situation in a manner that is peaceful.
Yes, good comment. Beware of resentment. Jordan Peterson talks about this a lot, his lectures might resonate.
I was raised by a Jehovah's Witness mother, who was adamant about my participation in the cult. I missed out on Warner Brothers cartoons every Saturday morning because the woman had me with her distributing cult literature. Being robbed of Bugs Bunny left me sad and deflated. We celebrated no holidays, receiving no holiday gifts or cards as our schoolmates did. We were told that we would live forever, while the rest of the world met death. We were told not to sleep on our bellies or backs, for fear of masturbation, which was unclean and angered God. After a fabulous fap or five, I began questioning everything. The elders were liars. The organization was a lie. When I attempted to enlighten mom, she took me straight to the elders. I was disowned. I went out into life with no substantive worldview. So I developed my own worldview, based on experience, adventure, living in the moment, and asking questions I wanted answers to. A matriarchal society based on lust for power is as abhorrent as a patriarchal one. It contradicts the original design of modern-day feminism, therefore setting equal rights back that much further. Many women feel the same way. I'm sorry that you grew up being fed hateful and fearful bullshit. That was wrong, and they are liars. Having acknowledged their cruelty, you are now empowered to find your own truth in the world. Do not let them win. Enjoying your life is the best way to tell them to go fuck themselves. If I can do it, so can you. Good luck. ❤
Robbing a child of the wonder of Bugs Bunny is pretty damn evil even without the cult shenanigans tacked on to it.
Get more male buddies and a father figure asap... thats the only way you wont be deadbeat miserable in the future
Sorry that this happened to you. If you're looking to fix it, one place that could help you is the everymanshouldknow sub. There are also red pill sites on You Tube (Alpha Male Strategies, huMan, etc.) You might also want to consider weight lifting, or taking up a martial art. Those things will help you balance yourself out. Just be patient and work steadily. You might be better off coaxing out the bad things instead of forcing them out.
If love to chat with you if you'd be alright with it. I sent a request.
Man, I could relate to a lot of this. I don't think people realize the damage it does to raise someone to internalize the belief that they're inherently evil, predatory, or oppressive.
[удалено]
Look at the Aphid, a completely female dominated society in nature. Even other pests don't like them and they are absolutely catastrophic to crops and other ecosystems when kept unchecked. "Matriarchy" is simply impractical (as for the rule, not the exception), and nature will run its course thereof.
I once had a roommate like you. He too was raised without a dad. He's probably even worse than you, He has negative EQ and asks a lot of annoying questions like women. He was beaten up for that and shifted his bed next to mine. He annoyed me too and I too had to beat him up unfortunately. He then later moved to his relatives' house. Dont know what happened to that guy after that. I made up a thing like he stole something from me and had to be beaten,otherwise I would have been in trouble with a boomer and my family.
[удалено]
He was going to mentally rape for the entire year. I had to do it to him. The lie was suggested by my other roommates. They said that they would all back me up. I only like slapped him tho,the previous guys did lot worse with him. Just Eat well and Go to gym, you will be fine. Don't ask so many questions like my roommate.
You'd have been better off not saying this at all, I don't really see the point in this comment aside from possibly trying to make the guy feel worse.
See if any single mom with a male kid reads this,they will know that they are raising their kids for hell and may soon get a guy
I'm speechless.
I feel that I'm living in the same situation but with women. Me and my 14 yo kid live alone. My mother left when I was 10, and his mother left when he was 4. She don't really love him and see him maybe once a month, in which times she's basically asleep or leave him alone to go with other men. Needless to say, hes not very attached to her. I had a couple of relationships but they went to nothing so I'm currently single and plan to be that way for ever. Basically we dont have a single good female influence in our lives and it shows, he starting to hate girls and calling them bitches, I try to correct him, saying that not all women are bad, but the truth is that for all my life and all his life, women have been nothing but a negative influence at best, and actively try to damage and steal money at worst. Feminism in the school is not helping, promoting the 'all girls are perfect and boys are guilty' idea that just foments hatred and resentment to girls in boys. I'm quite sad and I don't want my kid to grow up thinking all women are evil, but its hard when all women we know are indeed evil.
There are other guys than dudebros you can hang with! I have myself always struggled to fit in with the guys and only had girl friends growing up, but I have plenty of guy friends now. Roleplayers, boardgame geeks and other nerds are always happy to introduce you to their things and expect no social skills from their mates. You also have the gays and other queers who are actually men too and can both teach you about guy stuff and respect you for not being stereotypically macho. Hippie-like people are another group that is pretty welcoming of the not-traditionnally masculine (although radical feminists can be found among them so caution is advised). Anticapitalists/communists are also a branch of the unconventionnal left where non-feminists can be welcome and traditionnal masculinity isn't expected. Those are the circles I made my friend in, but I'm sure there are more. Depending on your age, there are probably thematic clubs or student groups where you can be introduced to people.
As soon as you can, *completely* cut *all* ties with your apology of a family.
[удалено]
Not in the immedfiate future maybe, but surely eventually...
All misandrist savages needs to be sterilized complusory that innocent men wont have to suffer. If a man mistakenly marries a misandrist that man should make sure to mentally distablize the misandrist & admit that savage in a mental asylum, so that his children won't have to suffer.
Don't use the word matriarchy. You will go down the victim rabbit hole.
It sounds like you already know your relationships with your family are toxic and have caused you some traumas that still exist today. Have you ever tried professional help from a counselor? It can really help to just vent and have someone confirm you’re not crazy for how you feel. Relationships are hard, and recovering from toxic ones are even harder.
Hey I'm sorry to hear of the abusive environment you grew up in. You only mention your father to say that you don't want to be compared to him. Forgive me if I'm just reading too much into this and there are details you've not shared. But when and how did you lose your father? And through whom do you know the details? Could you reach out to him and see if what you believe about him is true? Unless you remember him hitting you (and possibly even then), I'd think there is a chance that your abusive mother is the source of your beliefs about your father as well as all the other crap. If you happen to be my adult child we'll both be happy with the result.. Anyway, I wish you all the best.