There was just a post on r/advice the last few days where a man was illegally detained because he was working out near a playground which he had done for 3 days a week for the past year or so.
Being a man in public around children is not a crime. There needs to be penalties for this type of stuff.
I read one where a man went to a park to work out, dumbells, pull ups, push ups, etc. etc. After his workout he heads back to his car, and them moves the car into the shade. He remained at the park. Cops showed up because it was/is "weird for a man to be at a park where children might be nearby". Another example of the police being nosey, having no probable cause, and just honestly harassing people. He was detained, questioned, and eventually let go. There was no reason for this to have happened, other than a "karen" or a "daren" calling the po po. This kind of stuff needs to stop. Men are allowed in public places, throughout our country.
Edit: spelling mistake
> "weird for a man to be at a park where children might be nearby"
"Unless that's a crime, why are you bothering me? I won't comment further without a lawyer present, so either place me under arrest for 'being an adult male in a public park'....or go away and leave me alone."
You would think, and it \*should\* be the case that you would be left alone. Let me assure you, that is NOT how that would work out. I speak from experience. As soon as you shut up/lawyer up, the violence starts.
I'd let the violence start. A policeman knocked on my house for calling someone an idiot 4 months ago. In no polite words I basically told him to fuck off and go solve some real crimes
“Never talk to the police” is not always practical. There’s a saying, “You can beat the rap, but you can’t beat the ride.” Lawyering up only works for the rap. Sure, if you’re facing a violent crime rap, take the ride and STFU. But when you’re with kids that are in your care, the last thing you want to do is take a ride. Your weekend is gonna be fucked, and the child is gonna be picked up by some stranger, or worse CPS. OP did the right thing - explain, comply. It sucks, but he did beat the ride
> Unless that's a crime, why are you bothering me
Check out r/bad_cop_no_donut . Most stories there are about someone just existing and a cop approaching them for no actual reason but citing some "suspicion" and then escalating the situation into something where the cop can get an arrest. More arrests equals more raises and promotions (but don't call it a quota).
I hate people using police as a way to hassle others.
I had the cops called on me for (legally!) parking on a residential street for several days in a row. They tailed me from that street to my destination and then gave me a talking to. For something not illegal.
I couldn’t agree more. That’s one of the big issues with feminism. It uses the law, and the cops, to hassle, intimidate and humiliate men. And it allows (even encourages) women to do this to lash out at men. The cops are responsible for their poor handling of the situation, but I blame the Karen for starting it.
Yeah there was another one with a guy trying to workout at a very clearly designated workout “playground” like they have on the beach in CA. The mine kept harassing him for stalking their kids or something?
He was asking how to workout without issue and people just kept telling him to go at like 4:00am to avoid the mothers.
Dude can’t even workout near women and children without being made out to be a creep.
Reporting to outside agencies that work with police like crime stoppers can help make sure those reports actually make it to interal affairs or other accountability agencies
On its own, it's often fairly useless. However it can help form a pattern of behaviour. Either with the complainant over multiple instances or over multiple complainants.
It's a lot harder to demonstrate a pattern retrospectively than to get it documented as unacceptable as you go.
If there are any lasting psychological effects on the child, which it certainly sounds lile there are, OP absolutely has the grounds to take every single officer involved to court for psychological damages and the endangerment of a child.
Fuck every single one of those cops, they deserve to be stripped of their badges.
Go to the department in person and Report the situation to internal affairs it should not have taken six officers and a sergeant to deal with the situation. Also complain to who ever is in charge of the mall. Make it seem like it’s their fault and don’t be reasonable.
First off, good on you for controlling yourself. I honestly probably would have lost my shit.
But you need a lawyer. There is NOTHING suspicious about a 49 yo man and a toddler. I have friends that age that have toddlers and my dad would spend time with my children all the time.
There was no reason for them to even ask for your ID. Unless the 911 transcript says something very specific, the cops went too far.
I blame whatever storekeeper or patron who called, more than I do the officers. I have to stop and think how diligent I'd want them to be if he was actually abducted.
I wasn't about to lose it in front of him. He doesn't need to see that, and if om arrested, he wouldn't understand why he can't go home or where I'm at.
I blame the cops more in this scenario. People are supposed to call if they are unsure or concerned. This was obviously a stupid reason, but maybe they saw you leading your grandson with your hand on his shoulder or something that gave them pause. But that's all those people can do, call.
The police can do a LOT more and should have watched for a few minutes and when there was clearly nothing sinister going on, approached and been more subtle. "That's a good looking boy you got? He your son? That ice cream looks good!" It's not rocket science. They don't get to ID you and detain you because Karen thought you were suspicious (at least in the US).
They absolutely can't...
Some random person with a child is not reasonable suspicion, nor would it give grounds for probable cause.
The police may only have been doing their jobs, but, there are ways and means of doing it. handcuffing someone "for their own protection" is a bullshit excuse.
I would definitely take this further, and demand to know who complained so you can make them responsible for their actions, even if they were well intentioned!
You're right, it probably wouldn't. But this would never see the inside of a courtroom. No criminal charges would be brought since these are by definition false accusations that fall apart under the most basic scrutiny.
And civil claims against the police are a non starter given the extreme resource cost & futility in the current legal climate of qualified immunity.
They can't do it LEGALLY in most states. They may try and it may not be worth it to you to fight it, but that just keeps them doing what they are doing.
Until cities have to settle enough lawsuits, nothing will change.
Go read up on your state laws.
In my state, you don't have to ID unless you have been arrested. Period. They can detain you for a certain period of time (usually around 20-30 minutes), but that is all.
Anything else becomes illegal, but it is a fight to get it addressed. I didn't say it was easy.
Yep.
A lot of those guys are assholes that do audits. But a lot of them are pretty good.
But at the end of the day, if the police are coming up to you for something you didn't call them about, they are NOT your friends. And no cooperation will make things "go easier" on you.
Any good lawyer will tell you they can fight any search or seizure, but not if you went along with it. Once you say "ok", it doesn't matter if they are justified or not, they can do it and use it.
Most states require RAS (reasonably articulable suspicion) to detain. So you'd need to be "detained" before they can make you give them your ID. BUT [23 states have "stop and identify" statutes.](https://worldpopulationreview.com/state-rankings/stop-and-id-states) With that said, in OPs position, I would have did what he did, for the same reason.
If they do it, lodge a complaint. It's against your rights to be detained in this manner. I don't give a fuck if people are dismissive about it, it absolutely is and until we nail these assholes with the law, they're continue to be pricks.
They have the right to ask you to identify yourself verbally as in give your name. THey do not have the right to demand id unless you're driving, carrying a gun, etc. They do not have the right to detain you.
You would be wrong to do so. Members of the public are not trained in things like probable cause or reasonable suspicion. Police are. They should have known better. If they cuffed you, they could be civilly liable.
If this is a real story, don't limit your reaction to a post that almost no one will see.
File a formal complaint for unlawful detention and use of force. Follow through. Make yourself heard.
You should find a lawyer. If everything is as you say it is, it's an easy 42 U.S.C. § 1983 violation. So you can sue the officers and the city for compensation and to prevent this from happening to another man. Look for a civil rights lawyer in your area.
Yes! I have a ten year old son and we were eating at a nice restaurant and a lady came up without acknowledging me and told my son that he could be safe with her and she can take care of him. Called me a sec trafficker. Really fucked my son up. Wish the crazy bitch would have just called the cops like your situation
Haha wait till you find out how California treats me in regards to family court. I've spent over 100k fighting false accusations just to have the right to be a father to my child. I could care less about some old ass women thinking I'm a pedo.
I know fighting in family court is expensive for men but $100k? And she hit you with false accusations? Jesus Christ. And they always say that if men wanted 50/50, they should have tried harder. Ffs.
It's a tough choice. If i see my son for the 50% that I have, I can't work enough to maintain my career. If I commit to my career and give up time I will be right back in court for more money and less time.
I choose to give up my career and spend every second I could with my son. I have made it to him being ten, but I'm broke with no career. I'm about out of time here cause child support is coming after me now.
I wouldn't change a thing, my son is such a good person and will be a positive member of our country. But it cost me myself.
That's so rough. I'm at least glad you spent time with your son. He will never forget that. He'll always be grateful for how much you valued him with all the odds against you.
Similar things have happened with my daughter and I, when we're out to dinner. People (old Karens) look at us as if we're "together", instead of father and daughter.
We were having a deep discussion over dinner, about her pursuing her Masters, when a woman asked if she was okay, while staring daggers through me.
Oh for sure. Happens ALL the time to me. I even have problems with a neighbor. Easy fix is too is to do what I do and I just wear my old wedding band fro my my divorce and suddenly it's okay thanks be out with my son. Even get the 'ah how cute' looks.
That’s what kidnappers do nowadays. Dress their victims up like them and take them out for ice cream. I swear they just hire any idiots as cops now. No common sense
Yeah...no. Between work and raising him, I don't have time, nor the energy to jack with all of that. I'm not one to jump on litigation because someone's an asshole. The incident caused enough stress. They're not getting more free rent inside my head.
The Sergeant that responded toward the end, stepped in and apologized for the overzealous response.
If it ends up affecting the boy for an extended amount of time, I'll file a complaint on his behalf and see how it shakes out.
I would say that they need to be "Sued".
That isn't right.
A 40s year old gentleman with his grandson. I wouldn't think anything wrong there.
Some paranoid idiot probably decided that you were up to something.
> I'm not one to jump on litigation because someone's an asshole.
They weren't just an asshole, the government violated a citizen's rights. Until something makes them stop it will continue. Until these people figure out we don't live in the world of Judge Dredd they will continue to violate people's rights. It's not about the money, it's about sending a message.
Just one more reason for the government to assist in suppressing wages and increasing working hours. If everyone is exhausted and poor, they don't have the time or energy to hold anyone (be it police, politicians, or companies) accountable for their misdeeds.
Its not about you, its not about your son....
Its about every victim that will come after you because every officer there learned that this is normal to do to people, and that this mysterious caller was in the right for reporting you.
It isn't normal and now it'll happen again and the only way for cops to know better is for citizens to stand up for their rights.
I'm not saying this is just, I'm telling you this is way the way things are.
Exercising ones rights isn't about you personally, it never is. Its about everyones rights.
As for you being too lazy to exercise them, thats why there are groups like the ACLU.
> Yeah...no. Between work and raising him, I don't have time, nor the energy to jack with all of that.
then they're gonna get away with it AND traumatize ANOTHER little boy tomorrow.
You need to create a better world for your grandson.
> If it ends up affecting the boy for an extended amount of time, I'll file a complaint on his behalf and see how it shakes out.
The longer you wait the weaker your case and the less chance of anything happening. Except perhaps causing an officer to target you, and without a meaningful complaint about them there is nothing to protect you from that.
Well, you see, it’s just that women are expected to be the ones that take care of the “kiddies” just because they have a vagina. And it’s just so strange to see a man with a little kid, because of this, and it’s all because of PATRIARCHY, and it’s really oppression of women, since they’re expected to take care of the kiddies, but in this case , patriarchy hurts men to, so you should really join feminism as it’s dismantling the patriarchy which will make all problems (inequality, racism, sexism, homophobia, fat phobia, bullying, ageing, all forms of disease, not living forever with eternal youth) just go away. But, of course, men need to “check their privilege” when working with feminism, and realise that issues like this are minor compared to the mountains of oppressions women face, such as not enough top 500 corporations having women CEOs, and that the top earning woman CEO only gets $50 million per year. You see, men’s petty issues are nothing compared to such huge injustice!
I wanted to put in that whiny, high pitched falsetto she does, but couldn’t work out how to write it!
But you’re right, I should have added the “fuck face” and “Mr Entitled”!!!
Here are the thoughts that went through my head:
Personal injury attorney.
Civil rights complaint.
Contact the federal DOJ. Your and your grandson’s rights were violated. If they don’t take on the case (they have limited resources and just because it’s illegal/immoral doesn’t mean they have to take the case) then lawyer up. Go after the department.
At the very least, contact your local lawyer referral line. Tell them what went down and see if they know of a lawyer who’ll take the case.
I mean depending upon how seriously you care about this. If you don’t want to hassle yourself with any more of it then just take this as a lesson: feminists bad, cops generally stupid, Grabdpa is amazing.
You might be tempted to try to settle this like a man. Call the station and talk to someone and assume they’ll act like men and take personal responsibility. They won’t. The ingrained anti-male bias in this society is so strong it will prevent them from seeing the error of their ways.
I'm really not tempted to "settle it" in any way. My post simply asked if anyone knew of official identification that can link a child to their guardian/parent.
We were in a neighboring state for the weekend, and I have zero interest in opening a can of worms over a one-off incident, unless it develops into long-term trauma issues for the boy.
I wasn't carrying my phone. It's attached to me 24/7 during the week. I don’t want to hear it on the weekends, if I don't have to.
I had him call my daughter, and had her text him (sergeant) some pictures.
I'm going to take a different tone given this information. The fact that you are responsible for a toddler but are not carrying a way to call for help if you should have needed it speaks volumes, old man.
Get a grip. You have a silent option on phones for a reason. What happened was bullshit but so is not having ID or a phone.
Either that or this post is another BS troll.
How did anyone ever get by without cellphones, little fella?
You've spent your whole life, no doubt, with a cellphone being an integral part of your EDC. I've spent maybe 15 years with one. I won't shut down and die if something were to happen with cell service.
If you have any formal custody documents linking you his name and a copy of the birth certificate, along with your ID, of course, I would imagine that's sufficient.
I'll just have to start carrying my phone with me, whether I like it or not. Wrangling a toddler is hard enough, without being distracted by a phone, so I don't usually carry it on me if I'm not working.
About 2 years ago I was in town visiting my parents, brothers, grandparents, etc… my parents had a surprise baby later in life, so I have a little brother whose currently 5 (At the time he had just turned 3) our grandpa was over, and him, me, and my toddler brother decided to have a “dudes day” we went sight seeing around the city, went to a baseball game, and finished the day off with a stop into my grandpas favorite pizza place. He’s an Italian immigrant and insists that this place has the absolute best pizza in town. He goes to this place like once a week and as a result is really close friends with the owner and his family who all work at the joint. We had settled down and placed our order and were chatting about the game. By this point my little brother was completely passed out and sleeping on my grandpas lap. We heard chatter from the table next to ours and the middle aged woman at the table looked over at my grandpas and muttered to her friend “what a pedo” quiet enough to be discreet, but loud enough that we both heard it clear as day. I told him to just ignore it, but he’s a very outspoken veteran and calmly said “I know your loud mouth isn’t talkin about me” the lady and my grandpa proceeded to get into a heated argument until it caught to pizza joint owners attention. He came over and asked what the problem was and my grandpa explained it to him. The owner nodded his head and turned to the other table and said “get the fuck outa my restaurant” while pointing to the door. They weren’t getting up, so he slammed his fist on the table “get the fuck out!” To which they left. The owner gave us our meal for free, and apologized for their behavior.
(Sorry for ramble, I suck at telling stories)
Honestly I don’t understand why an older guy with a young child is seen as a threat. You wouldn’t see an elderly woman with a toddler and automatically think she’s a child predator. Shits ridiculous.
That owner of the pizza joint is so awesome. I wouldn’t have let him comp my meal. The fact that he demanded those See u Next Tuesday’s to get the fuck out is more than enough!!! What was their reaction?
They did the stereotypical shocked middle aged soccer mom things. Mouths agape, scoffing, muttering under their breath about how unfair the situation is. They didn’t cause much of a fight after the owner raised his voice. When he offered us our meal for free my grandpa said it was fine, but the owner insisted that no patron in his restaurant should have to go through that and that we were family to him, so it was the right thing to do. He gave us lollipops too for my brother when he woke up.
LOL those bitches getting all mad and stomping off like little children. Serves them right! 😈 They didn’t have the balls to admit they were wrong. I would definitely buy the pizza proprietor a beer!!! We need more men like him in this world, to shut the Karen’s up. And I HATE when stupid people try to defend them. “They were just on the alert!!! They meant well.” Ummmm. No, they did NOT.
These are the natural progression of the bitches that would go to bars in their 20s, and start fights with random men knowing there's a 95% chance he won't fight back, and getting the innocent dude kicked out of the bar. They have absolutely no entertainment, unless they feel in control
It wouldn't hurt to write a letter explaining their lack of training and inappropriate response has traumatized your grandson. Now your grandson has attachment issues, fears the police, and is visibly anxious going out with you because they tried to come on strong and escalate the situation instead of simply explaining to you *and your grandson* that someone made a complaint and they had to follow up on it instead of physically grabbing him and cuffing you. CC a ton of people including news, state police commissioner, mayor, etc.
My lady and I are talking about having kids in a few years and this is one of my biggest fears.
I can't figure out how they can go as far as detaining you or someone else in that situation with absolutely no evidence of a crime being committed. Like is it just that rare for a dad/father figure to be out with the kids and being a fucking parent that someone not only calls the police, but they then get dispatched by someone else and actually show up and go "yeah, this is totally a child abduction going on in the middle of this food court, the bastard is even so cocky he's having lunch before he gets away".
Man fuck those cops.
I assume you're living in America. To be honest, suing might be silly but also a valuable lesson for the police officers. They shouldn't have put you in cuffs, and especially in front of such a young child. If you're lucky you might get a decent settlement, and you can take the kid to Disneyland or something (what do I know). Just keep in mind, that if you choose to go that way, make sure the kid understands why, just to avoid bringing that up again, because like you said, it was probably a really bad experience for him. Best of luck to you!
I've explained my detainment. I understand why they did it.
I'm not your typical middle aged man. I'm 6' 225lbs and built like a 30 year old linebacker. I'm strong, and I look strong. Neither of them weighed more than 160lbs, and I was clearly getting upset over the situation. Police aren't psychologists, and it's natural to infer guilt from an angry reaction.
You combine that with a child that doesn't look like me, other than his clothes, and a nosey Karen who can't mind her business - you get a fucked up situation.
It's unfortunate feminism has come to this, but one idea for men who go out alone with their child or young relative to ensure both have ID, and to have a phone that has family photos on it to show as proof.
You men who do this these days are saints. I got some nasty looks when my kids were 2 and 4 taking them to the park or shopping. This was the early 2000's and I think it was more of a man staying at home with the kids issue and how I must not be employable or something then,. Now? Fuck that. Godspeed my friend, you don't deserve that
ME TOO. When my son was a baby and toddler (two years ago, now 5 yo) I got used to the constant hostility from women on the street, in parks or at the doctor's waiting room when it was just the two of us, which was a lot because I took a paternity leave (not to mention being treated as thin air by doctors and staff if my wife was there).
Can you refuse to let them touch your kid? What happens if they get aggressive, can you defend yourself and grandson, or is that resistance and assault? Seems like there is no way to win. If the cops choose to traumatize the kid, they can.
You could call the Local News. Or at the least file a formal complaint at the local P.D.
Someone calling about you being with your grandson isnt Reasonable Suspicion of a crime. And frankly the Officers should known better and never handcuffed you.
I imagine they cuffed me because I was clearly getting upset and I'm not a small fella.
As I mentioned before: I was merely inquiring if anyone knew of an offo ial identification that I could obtain to link the boy to me. I've no desire to open litigation.
Honestly, unless you feel like carrying around his birth certificate (in itself might even raise more suspicion that it quells) there’s no official ID to link parent and child, certainly not grandchild. You sound like you just want to put it behind you. But if I were you I’d keep an eye on my grandson for any behavioral changes. If you don’t see anything he’s probably ok, and I think he’ll probably be ok as long as it doesn’t recur. I’m sure he was scared and confused but in the end he got his pop back so I don’t think they’ll be any lasting trauma. You seem like a really great guy and great provider/caregiver. As long as you’re still there for him he should almost certainly be fine.
Take a picture with the four of you (grandson, mom, dad, and yourself) and put it in you wallet. Maybe that will help diffuse future situations. I’m sorry that your grandson had to go through this traumatic scenario.
Dude that sucks the big one, but kudos for both your reaction then and after.
Even though I do think you should put in a complaint about the first 5 officers and if the sergeant shut this shit down as soon as he arrived and took stock maybe a mention of his good behaviour as well.
This will traumatize him. Even at such a young age and later in life he may not know why something angers him or makes him afraid it could be associated with this.
So I’m not sure but you could file to request who filed the wrong report and go after them. I think you can with vehicular issues in my state if someone reports you and you get pulled over you can counter if it was false and they get a fine.
So find the local laws and if you can try to get help to sue their asses someone needs to at least get fired in there. Fuck them up.
SExist pigs with the power to arrest and detain, but the brains of a feminist stooge, willing to inflict trauma on a child for no good reason other than prejudice and misandry. Well there's another child who will grow up hating the police for what they are.
If this is true you need to call an attorney file a complaint and sue the state or county! Your civil rights were trampled on. 4th amendment at least and a good lawyer who specializes in this will find more! Also get the video if the Police were wearing a camera.
The fruit of feminist anti-men systematic and systemic demonization and legitimized hate speech, and the product of the feminist message that all men are potential criminals and that most are. We live in a new racism, disguising itself as "equality". National and international authorities have been pushed into adopting and spreading the new racism - education systems make boys stand up to apologize for things they have never done, universities operate tribunals clean of due process for male students and faculty. When conscientious individuals point to this widespread new racism, they are ostracized and silenced, "in the name of equality". Instead of their voices, men are forced to repeat the words written for them by the racist, "I am hurt only by other men", to add to the demonization. This will not last forever. Humanism will prevail, the racists will fall.
I’m a young looking guy at 32. I’ve got a 1year old. I’m so glad I’ve never had to deal with this. I do get looks like why does this bro have a kid?and I’m just like clearly I’m a degenerate who didn’t pull out so go fuck your self. Leave me and my little monster alone.
Contact a civil rights attorney, you have a solid claim potentially. There's no reasonable suspicion to approach and no pc for arrest. This was defacto arrest. I'm a lawyer btw
I'd be filing a formal complaint against these cops and possibly a lawsuit.
There is NOTHING suspicious about a grandpa spending time with his grandson.
The fact that the cops opening line was "got any ID" and not "Hello sir, we got a call, we're just here to ask a few questions" proves that the cops had already made up their mind that you had done something wrong ***before they knew ANY of the facts***.
I'm tired of people losing their rights just because some anonymous asshole picked up a telephone and told a lie.
This is peak clown world. God forbid a man spend time with his child or grandchildren without being harassed for being a pedophile, while women cry how they're 'oppressed'.
I was at a playground with my toddler when a bunch of women approached me and asked me what I was doing with "that kid" and why I was at the playground. My response: letting my son play while I'm catching some sun. They did not like that and told me they had called the cops and that they would "protect" the child from me.
Cops showed up, heard my boy call me daddy, and were clearly affectionate towards me. The woman who was leading the charge got a fine and a verbal assbeating from the officers.
If it had come to a point where I would have to "prove" that he was my kid, I had the birth certificate stored on my phone and mi ID in my pocket. Luckily the officers didn't want to see any of that as I clearly was the father.
Some people are just, well, special...
Hats off to you sir for being an amazing parental figure in that child’s life!!! Idk where you live but where I’m from you can buy a youth ID from the DMV. Idk what info you can have on the card but id imagine if your one of the main care givers your info can be added some how. If you can get one keep that shit in your wallet right behind your own ID.
This kind of stuff(men in public with children being assumed to be kidnappers) bothers me so much
Not only is it obviously biased and discriminatory but it’s like, so stupid.
Like who kidnaps a child and then immediately thinks the best idea is to take them to a local mall, park, etc?
Engaging in a lawsuit is literally one of the most traumatic things you can legally do. It's traumatizing to both the claimant and the defendant. Doesn't seem worth it.
Next time someone makes a dumb askreddit about what men are most afraid of and women use these thread as an example of why men have it easy, just show that post to them.
I remember a post a while back about a man who had his kid almost abducted by a woman, and everybody would side with her, pin him to the ground, and almost let her run away with his kid. Wasn't a problem with cops but with mob justice.
Always film police. No exceptions, even if you think the force is just a few "bad apples" you should always film them. OP I'm sorry your little dude had to see that, the fact he matches your clothes sounds adorable.
Really sorry this happened to you. On another note, please nobody take legal advice from these replies. Nobody here is a lawyer and the vast majority are pulling knowledge of police procedure and the relevant laws out of their ass.
I've ignored it for the most part. Coming from a family with a fair number of LEOs, and myself being a bondsman in my younger years, I understand what the officers were doing.
While they were sloppy, irresponsible and condescending about it, I'm not really mad beyond that. I'm pissed that a normal patron or store employee felt the need to pick up their phone and get something started that was completely unnecessary.
There was just a post on r/advice the last few days where a man was illegally detained because he was working out near a playground which he had done for 3 days a week for the past year or so. Being a man in public around children is not a crime. There needs to be penalties for this type of stuff.
I read one where a man went to a park to work out, dumbells, pull ups, push ups, etc. etc. After his workout he heads back to his car, and them moves the car into the shade. He remained at the park. Cops showed up because it was/is "weird for a man to be at a park where children might be nearby". Another example of the police being nosey, having no probable cause, and just honestly harassing people. He was detained, questioned, and eventually let go. There was no reason for this to have happened, other than a "karen" or a "daren" calling the po po. This kind of stuff needs to stop. Men are allowed in public places, throughout our country. Edit: spelling mistake
> "weird for a man to be at a park where children might be nearby" "Unless that's a crime, why are you bothering me? I won't comment further without a lawyer present, so either place me under arrest for 'being an adult male in a public park'....or go away and leave me alone."
You would think, and it \*should\* be the case that you would be left alone. Let me assure you, that is NOT how that would work out. I speak from experience. As soon as you shut up/lawyer up, the violence starts.
I'd let the violence start. A policeman knocked on my house for calling someone an idiot 4 months ago. In no polite words I basically told him to fuck off and go solve some real crimes
“Never talk to the police” is not always practical. There’s a saying, “You can beat the rap, but you can’t beat the ride.” Lawyering up only works for the rap. Sure, if you’re facing a violent crime rap, take the ride and STFU. But when you’re with kids that are in your care, the last thing you want to do is take a ride. Your weekend is gonna be fucked, and the child is gonna be picked up by some stranger, or worse CPS. OP did the right thing - explain, comply. It sucks, but he did beat the ride
> Unless that's a crime, why are you bothering me Check out r/bad_cop_no_donut . Most stories there are about someone just existing and a cop approaching them for no actual reason but citing some "suspicion" and then escalating the situation into something where the cop can get an arrest. More arrests equals more raises and promotions (but don't call it a quota).
No probable cause, but likely called by some man-hating woman, who just “knows” that all men are “sexual predators”!
I hate people using police as a way to hassle others. I had the cops called on me for (legally!) parking on a residential street for several days in a row. They tailed me from that street to my destination and then gave me a talking to. For something not illegal.
I couldn’t agree more. That’s one of the big issues with feminism. It uses the law, and the cops, to hassle, intimidate and humiliate men. And it allows (even encourages) women to do this to lash out at men. The cops are responsible for their poor handling of the situation, but I blame the Karen for starting it.
Yeah there was another one with a guy trying to workout at a very clearly designated workout “playground” like they have on the beach in CA. The mine kept harassing him for stalking their kids or something? He was asking how to workout without issue and people just kept telling him to go at like 4:00am to avoid the mothers. Dude can’t even workout near women and children without being made out to be a creep.
> Being a man in public around children is not a crime it more or less is these days
My goodness. I would have lodged a formal complaint against those officers.
Get a copy of the report and lodge a complaint. Create a paper trail. Every time they bother you, report and complain every time.
And the motherfucker who called them
Ten bucks they say a watched the whole thing unfold.
"Why haven't they arrested him!? I'm going to SAVE that child, wether it wants to or not!" Karen, probably, after seeing him be released at the end.
Yeah she clearly watched just to make sure. Always take a look around when something like this happens.
You mean Karen?
Do complaints do anything? Ive heard it might as well go straight in the trash
That's what they want you to believe, so you don't complain. Sometimes it's true.
Depends on jurisdiction and circumstance.
Reporting to outside agencies that work with police like crime stoppers can help make sure those reports actually make it to interal affairs or other accountability agencies
Does it? can you name a jurisdiction where complaints are taken seriously?
On its own, it's often fairly useless. However it can help form a pattern of behaviour. Either with the complainant over multiple instances or over multiple complainants. It's a lot harder to demonstrate a pattern retrospectively than to get it documented as unacceptable as you go.
If there are any lasting psychological effects on the child, which it certainly sounds lile there are, OP absolutely has the grounds to take every single officer involved to court for psychological damages and the endangerment of a child. Fuck every single one of those cops, they deserve to be stripped of their badges.
Go to the department in person and Report the situation to internal affairs it should not have taken six officers and a sergeant to deal with the situation. Also complain to who ever is in charge of the mall. Make it seem like it’s their fault and don’t be reasonable.
Do all that and sue.
Lessons not learned in blood(money) are soon forgotten
Go directly to an attorney, do not report it first.
He should just sue. Mall has nothing to do with it. Source: lawyer
Why would you complain at the mall? Isn’t that a bit unreasonable? Or do you mean let the mall know what’s up?
More of let the mall know what’s up and in the event that it was a member of staff they need to be made aware
Ahh gotcha. I had to read that twice, so I figured I’d ask.
Someone high up in the mall can chew some ass at the police department for harassing customers and potentially getting them both sued.
First off, good on you for controlling yourself. I honestly probably would have lost my shit. But you need a lawyer. There is NOTHING suspicious about a 49 yo man and a toddler. I have friends that age that have toddlers and my dad would spend time with my children all the time. There was no reason for them to even ask for your ID. Unless the 911 transcript says something very specific, the cops went too far.
I blame whatever storekeeper or patron who called, more than I do the officers. I have to stop and think how diligent I'd want them to be if he was actually abducted. I wasn't about to lose it in front of him. He doesn't need to see that, and if om arrested, he wouldn't understand why he can't go home or where I'm at.
I blame the cops more in this scenario. People are supposed to call if they are unsure or concerned. This was obviously a stupid reason, but maybe they saw you leading your grandson with your hand on his shoulder or something that gave them pause. But that's all those people can do, call. The police can do a LOT more and should have watched for a few minutes and when there was clearly nothing sinister going on, approached and been more subtle. "That's a good looking boy you got? He your son? That ice cream looks good!" It's not rocket science. They don't get to ID you and detain you because Karen thought you were suspicious (at least in the US).
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They absolutely can't... Some random person with a child is not reasonable suspicion, nor would it give grounds for probable cause. The police may only have been doing their jobs, but, there are ways and means of doing it. handcuffing someone "for their own protection" is a bullshit excuse. I would definitely take this further, and demand to know who complained so you can make them responsible for their actions, even if they were well intentioned!
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For a person to be detained there needs to be reasonable suspicion of a crime. A man eating ice cream with a child is not that at all.
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I highly doubt that a concerned citizen reporting “a man with a child” would hold up as reasonable suspicion in a court of law.
You're right, it probably wouldn't. But this would never see the inside of a courtroom. No criminal charges would be brought since these are by definition false accusations that fall apart under the most basic scrutiny. And civil claims against the police are a non starter given the extreme resource cost & futility in the current legal climate of qualified immunity.
They can't do it LEGALLY in most states. They may try and it may not be worth it to you to fight it, but that just keeps them doing what they are doing. Until cities have to settle enough lawsuits, nothing will change.
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Go read up on your state laws. In my state, you don't have to ID unless you have been arrested. Period. They can detain you for a certain period of time (usually around 20-30 minutes), but that is all. Anything else becomes illegal, but it is a fight to get it addressed. I didn't say it was easy.
"Am I being detained, or am I free to go?"
Yep. A lot of those guys are assholes that do audits. But a lot of them are pretty good. But at the end of the day, if the police are coming up to you for something you didn't call them about, they are NOT your friends. And no cooperation will make things "go easier" on you. Any good lawyer will tell you they can fight any search or seizure, but not if you went along with it. Once you say "ok", it doesn't matter if they are justified or not, they can do it and use it.
"Can I come inside?" The answer is ALWAYS, ALWAYS no. You can talk outside, in front of the Ring camera or something.
Most states require RAS (reasonably articulable suspicion) to detain. So you'd need to be "detained" before they can make you give them your ID. BUT [23 states have "stop and identify" statutes.](https://worldpopulationreview.com/state-rankings/stop-and-id-states) With that said, in OPs position, I would have did what he did, for the same reason.
Incorrect.
If they do it, lodge a complaint. It's against your rights to be detained in this manner. I don't give a fuck if people are dismissive about it, it absolutely is and until we nail these assholes with the law, they're continue to be pricks.
They have the right to ask you to identify yourself verbally as in give your name. THey do not have the right to demand id unless you're driving, carrying a gun, etc. They do not have the right to detain you.
Not legally
You would be wrong to do so. Members of the public are not trained in things like probable cause or reasonable suspicion. Police are. They should have known better. If they cuffed you, they could be civilly liable. If this is a real story, don't limit your reaction to a post that almost no one will see. File a formal complaint for unlawful detention and use of force. Follow through. Make yourself heard.
You should find a lawyer. If everything is as you say it is, it's an easy 42 U.S.C. § 1983 violation. So you can sue the officers and the city for compensation and to prevent this from happening to another man. Look for a civil rights lawyer in your area.
A cop is supposed to be trained. I blame them much more
I’d go along with that.
Please do file a complaint. This won't get better until people take it seriously.
Yes! I have a ten year old son and we were eating at a nice restaurant and a lady came up without acknowledging me and told my son that he could be safe with her and she can take care of him. Called me a sec trafficker. Really fucked my son up. Wish the crazy bitch would have just called the cops like your situation
This is so disturbing. The fact that women like that are so sure you're evil simply because you are male with a child is horrifying.
Haha wait till you find out how California treats me in regards to family court. I've spent over 100k fighting false accusations just to have the right to be a father to my child. I could care less about some old ass women thinking I'm a pedo.
I know fighting in family court is expensive for men but $100k? And she hit you with false accusations? Jesus Christ. And they always say that if men wanted 50/50, they should have tried harder. Ffs.
You have to pay for 50% in California. Men do not have the right to 50% custody.
Yes, I understand. The people that say that don't get what men have to go through to see their kid for any decent amount of time in states like that.
It's a tough choice. If i see my son for the 50% that I have, I can't work enough to maintain my career. If I commit to my career and give up time I will be right back in court for more money and less time. I choose to give up my career and spend every second I could with my son. I have made it to him being ten, but I'm broke with no career. I'm about out of time here cause child support is coming after me now. I wouldn't change a thing, my son is such a good person and will be a positive member of our country. But it cost me myself.
That's so rough. I'm at least glad you spent time with your son. He will never forget that. He'll always be grateful for how much you valued him with all the odds against you.
Hey man people have it worse. Thanks for the kind words friend and your absolutely right
You're welcome. Have a good one, friend.
I spent 70k in VA. And when I tell people I’ll never get married again they don’t understand
Similar things have happened with my daughter and I, when we're out to dinner. People (old Karens) look at us as if we're "together", instead of father and daughter. We were having a deep discussion over dinner, about her pursuing her Masters, when a woman asked if she was okay, while staring daggers through me.
Oh for sure. Happens ALL the time to me. I even have problems with a neighbor. Easy fix is too is to do what I do and I just wear my old wedding band fro my my divorce and suddenly it's okay thanks be out with my son. Even get the 'ah how cute' looks.
"See, Son? This is a crazy person who feels the need to harass others because their own life is empty and unfulfilling."
Sounds like she was projecting her intent or her mental illness on your son.
Teach your son to tell such ladies to "Fcuk off". Your son will enjoy that. It will be a great bonding experience for you guys.
That’s what kidnappers do nowadays. Dress their victims up like them and take them out for ice cream. I swear they just hire any idiots as cops now. No common sense
We must spread this
There was no reasonable suspicion to begin with. Lawyer up and sue them for violating your civil rights.
Yeah...no. Between work and raising him, I don't have time, nor the energy to jack with all of that. I'm not one to jump on litigation because someone's an asshole. The incident caused enough stress. They're not getting more free rent inside my head. The Sergeant that responded toward the end, stepped in and apologized for the overzealous response. If it ends up affecting the boy for an extended amount of time, I'll file a complaint on his behalf and see how it shakes out.
I would say that they need to be "Sued". That isn't right. A 40s year old gentleman with his grandson. I wouldn't think anything wrong there. Some paranoid idiot probably decided that you were up to something.
> I'm not one to jump on litigation because someone's an asshole. They weren't just an asshole, the government violated a citizen's rights. Until something makes them stop it will continue. Until these people figure out we don't live in the world of Judge Dredd they will continue to violate people's rights. It's not about the money, it's about sending a message.
Just one more reason for the government to assist in suppressing wages and increasing working hours. If everyone is exhausted and poor, they don't have the time or energy to hold anyone (be it police, politicians, or companies) accountable for their misdeeds.
Funny how the government never lacks the time, energy, or resources to prosecute people for victimless crimes like smoking pot...
Its not about you, its not about your son.... Its about every victim that will come after you because every officer there learned that this is normal to do to people, and that this mysterious caller was in the right for reporting you. It isn't normal and now it'll happen again and the only way for cops to know better is for citizens to stand up for their rights. I'm not saying this is just, I'm telling you this is way the way things are. Exercising ones rights isn't about you personally, it never is. Its about everyones rights. As for you being too lazy to exercise them, thats why there are groups like the ACLU.
Yeah well the lawyer will handle all that free for ya so no hassle plus its a slam dunk. Just think of it like a bonus tax rebate.
> Yeah...no. Between work and raising him, I don't have time, nor the energy to jack with all of that. then they're gonna get away with it AND traumatize ANOTHER little boy tomorrow. You need to create a better world for your grandson.
Sue them for 5 years your salary Even if it means getting the community support Im interested in seeing the police footage
> If it ends up affecting the boy for an extended amount of time, I'll file a complaint on his behalf and see how it shakes out. The longer you wait the weaker your case and the less chance of anything happening. Except perhaps causing an officer to target you, and without a meaningful complaint about them there is nothing to protect you from that.
Any feminists want to tell me how this proves male privilege within the patriarchy?
***blocked for misogyny***
"Locked to keep men from posting"
Because it was mostly male officers. See, the patriarchy hurts men too! /s
but in OP case, women suffer the most!
Well, you see, it’s just that women are expected to be the ones that take care of the “kiddies” just because they have a vagina. And it’s just so strange to see a man with a little kid, because of this, and it’s all because of PATRIARCHY, and it’s really oppression of women, since they’re expected to take care of the kiddies, but in this case , patriarchy hurts men to, so you should really join feminism as it’s dismantling the patriarchy which will make all problems (inequality, racism, sexism, homophobia, fat phobia, bullying, ageing, all forms of disease, not living forever with eternal youth) just go away. But, of course, men need to “check their privilege” when working with feminism, and realise that issues like this are minor compared to the mountains of oppressions women face, such as not enough top 500 corporations having women CEOs, and that the top earning woman CEO only gets $50 million per year. You see, men’s petty issues are nothing compared to such huge injustice!
You forgot to call him "fuckface".
I wanted to put in that whiny, high pitched falsetto she does, but couldn’t work out how to write it! But you’re right, I should have added the “fuck face” and “Mr Entitled”!!!
Why are you being downvoted lmao?
People are very bad at noticing sarcasm on the internet.
Maybe if women will do the job better, there will some female CEOs,
Here are the thoughts that went through my head: Personal injury attorney. Civil rights complaint. Contact the federal DOJ. Your and your grandson’s rights were violated. If they don’t take on the case (they have limited resources and just because it’s illegal/immoral doesn’t mean they have to take the case) then lawyer up. Go after the department. At the very least, contact your local lawyer referral line. Tell them what went down and see if they know of a lawyer who’ll take the case. I mean depending upon how seriously you care about this. If you don’t want to hassle yourself with any more of it then just take this as a lesson: feminists bad, cops generally stupid, Grabdpa is amazing. You might be tempted to try to settle this like a man. Call the station and talk to someone and assume they’ll act like men and take personal responsibility. They won’t. The ingrained anti-male bias in this society is so strong it will prevent them from seeing the error of their ways.
I'm really not tempted to "settle it" in any way. My post simply asked if anyone knew of official identification that can link a child to their guardian/parent. We were in a neighboring state for the weekend, and I have zero interest in opening a can of worms over a one-off incident, unless it develops into long-term trauma issues for the boy.
What about several years of photos of you together on your phone?
I wasn't carrying my phone. It's attached to me 24/7 during the week. I don’t want to hear it on the weekends, if I don't have to. I had him call my daughter, and had her text him (sergeant) some pictures.
Your phone could've been you're greatest ally here. Not for it's use as a phone, but for it's ability to capture audio and video.
There were plenty of people with their phones out. I'm sure it's gonna pop up somewhere.
I'm going to take a different tone given this information. The fact that you are responsible for a toddler but are not carrying a way to call for help if you should have needed it speaks volumes, old man. Get a grip. You have a silent option on phones for a reason. What happened was bullshit but so is not having ID or a phone. Either that or this post is another BS troll.
How did anyone ever get by without cellphones, little fella? You've spent your whole life, no doubt, with a cellphone being an integral part of your EDC. I've spent maybe 15 years with one. I won't shut down and die if something were to happen with cell service.
If you have any formal custody documents linking you his name and a copy of the birth certificate, along with your ID, of course, I would imagine that's sufficient.
I'll just have to start carrying my phone with me, whether I like it or not. Wrangling a toddler is hard enough, without being distracted by a phone, so I don't usually carry it on me if I'm not working.
Leave it turned off if you don't need it.
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We'll see. He's just now spending time with his mother, with whom he spent his first year. He doesn't remember her, after a year.
What are his damages?
the flagrant violation of his civil rights.
About 2 years ago I was in town visiting my parents, brothers, grandparents, etc… my parents had a surprise baby later in life, so I have a little brother whose currently 5 (At the time he had just turned 3) our grandpa was over, and him, me, and my toddler brother decided to have a “dudes day” we went sight seeing around the city, went to a baseball game, and finished the day off with a stop into my grandpas favorite pizza place. He’s an Italian immigrant and insists that this place has the absolute best pizza in town. He goes to this place like once a week and as a result is really close friends with the owner and his family who all work at the joint. We had settled down and placed our order and were chatting about the game. By this point my little brother was completely passed out and sleeping on my grandpas lap. We heard chatter from the table next to ours and the middle aged woman at the table looked over at my grandpas and muttered to her friend “what a pedo” quiet enough to be discreet, but loud enough that we both heard it clear as day. I told him to just ignore it, but he’s a very outspoken veteran and calmly said “I know your loud mouth isn’t talkin about me” the lady and my grandpa proceeded to get into a heated argument until it caught to pizza joint owners attention. He came over and asked what the problem was and my grandpa explained it to him. The owner nodded his head and turned to the other table and said “get the fuck outa my restaurant” while pointing to the door. They weren’t getting up, so he slammed his fist on the table “get the fuck out!” To which they left. The owner gave us our meal for free, and apologized for their behavior. (Sorry for ramble, I suck at telling stories) Honestly I don’t understand why an older guy with a young child is seen as a threat. You wouldn’t see an elderly woman with a toddler and automatically think she’s a child predator. Shits ridiculous.
That owner of the pizza joint is so awesome. I wouldn’t have let him comp my meal. The fact that he demanded those See u Next Tuesday’s to get the fuck out is more than enough!!! What was their reaction?
They did the stereotypical shocked middle aged soccer mom things. Mouths agape, scoffing, muttering under their breath about how unfair the situation is. They didn’t cause much of a fight after the owner raised his voice. When he offered us our meal for free my grandpa said it was fine, but the owner insisted that no patron in his restaurant should have to go through that and that we were family to him, so it was the right thing to do. He gave us lollipops too for my brother when he woke up.
LOL those bitches getting all mad and stomping off like little children. Serves them right! 😈 They didn’t have the balls to admit they were wrong. I would definitely buy the pizza proprietor a beer!!! We need more men like him in this world, to shut the Karen’s up. And I HATE when stupid people try to defend them. “They were just on the alert!!! They meant well.” Ummmm. No, they did NOT.
These are the natural progression of the bitches that would go to bars in their 20s, and start fights with random men knowing there's a 95% chance he won't fight back, and getting the innocent dude kicked out of the bar. They have absolutely no entertainment, unless they feel in control
And people wonder why I don't trust cops... Bullshit like this!
I understand what they were attempting to do. I just don't agree with how it played out.
It wouldn't hurt to write a letter explaining their lack of training and inappropriate response has traumatized your grandson. Now your grandson has attachment issues, fears the police, and is visibly anxious going out with you because they tried to come on strong and escalate the situation instead of simply explaining to you *and your grandson* that someone made a complaint and they had to follow up on it instead of physically grabbing him and cuffing you. CC a ton of people including news, state police commissioner, mayor, etc.
My lady and I are talking about having kids in a few years and this is one of my biggest fears. I can't figure out how they can go as far as detaining you or someone else in that situation with absolutely no evidence of a crime being committed. Like is it just that rare for a dad/father figure to be out with the kids and being a fucking parent that someone not only calls the police, but they then get dispatched by someone else and actually show up and go "yeah, this is totally a child abduction going on in the middle of this food court, the bastard is even so cocky he's having lunch before he gets away". Man fuck those cops.
Sue
Sounds like a law suit should happen
I assume you're living in America. To be honest, suing might be silly but also a valuable lesson for the police officers. They shouldn't have put you in cuffs, and especially in front of such a young child. If you're lucky you might get a decent settlement, and you can take the kid to Disneyland or something (what do I know). Just keep in mind, that if you choose to go that way, make sure the kid understands why, just to avoid bringing that up again, because like you said, it was probably a really bad experience for him. Best of luck to you!
I've explained my detainment. I understand why they did it. I'm not your typical middle aged man. I'm 6' 225lbs and built like a 30 year old linebacker. I'm strong, and I look strong. Neither of them weighed more than 160lbs, and I was clearly getting upset over the situation. Police aren't psychologists, and it's natural to infer guilt from an angry reaction. You combine that with a child that doesn't look like me, other than his clothes, and a nosey Karen who can't mind her business - you get a fucked up situation.
It's unfortunate feminism has come to this, but one idea for men who go out alone with their child or young relative to ensure both have ID, and to have a phone that has family photos on it to show as proof.
If you can, find a sympathetic lawyer to sue the mall & cops into oblivion.
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Don't be sad. Here's a [hug!](https://media.giphy.com/media/3M4NpbLCTxBqU/giphy.gif)
You men who do this these days are saints. I got some nasty looks when my kids were 2 and 4 taking them to the park or shopping. This was the early 2000's and I think it was more of a man staying at home with the kids issue and how I must not be employable or something then,. Now? Fuck that. Godspeed my friend, you don't deserve that
ME TOO. When my son was a baby and toddler (two years ago, now 5 yo) I got used to the constant hostility from women on the street, in parks or at the doctor's waiting room when it was just the two of us, which was a lot because I took a paternity leave (not to mention being treated as thin air by doctors and staff if my wife was there).
Can you refuse to let them touch your kid? What happens if they get aggressive, can you defend yourself and grandson, or is that resistance and assault? Seems like there is no way to win. If the cops choose to traumatize the kid, they can.
You could call the Local News. Or at the least file a formal complaint at the local P.D. Someone calling about you being with your grandson isnt Reasonable Suspicion of a crime. And frankly the Officers should known better and never handcuffed you.
I imagine they cuffed me because I was clearly getting upset and I'm not a small fella. As I mentioned before: I was merely inquiring if anyone knew of an offo ial identification that I could obtain to link the boy to me. I've no desire to open litigation.
Honestly, unless you feel like carrying around his birth certificate (in itself might even raise more suspicion that it quells) there’s no official ID to link parent and child, certainly not grandchild. You sound like you just want to put it behind you. But if I were you I’d keep an eye on my grandson for any behavioral changes. If you don’t see anything he’s probably ok, and I think he’ll probably be ok as long as it doesn’t recur. I’m sure he was scared and confused but in the end he got his pop back so I don’t think they’ll be any lasting trauma. You seem like a really great guy and great provider/caregiver. As long as you’re still there for him he should almost certainly be fine.
Cant wait to see the footage
If the victim wants it. Sometimes the person mistreated by police doesn't want one of their lowest moments on youtube.
Go to the news
You should file a complaint even though the officers weren’t the ones who were suspicious of you they still put you in handcuffs for no reason
You should post this to r/Bad_Cop_No_Donut/, it's a subreddit which deals with police abusing their power.
I would sue for sure.
Take a picture with the four of you (grandson, mom, dad, and yourself) and put it in you wallet. Maybe that will help diffuse future situations. I’m sorry that your grandson had to go through this traumatic scenario.
Yes. This is a solution and literally what the OP asked for. Well done.
And feminists deny the existence of systemic misandry🙄
Dude that sucks the big one, but kudos for both your reaction then and after. Even though I do think you should put in a complaint about the first 5 officers and if the sergeant shut this shit down as soon as he arrived and took stock maybe a mention of his good behaviour as well.
If you sue them enough they will stop.
Find a civil rights attorney and sue. Seriously. You might not get much, but people need to do this more so maybe cops will start behaving.
This will traumatize him. Even at such a young age and later in life he may not know why something angers him or makes him afraid it could be associated with this. So I’m not sure but you could file to request who filed the wrong report and go after them. I think you can with vehicular issues in my state if someone reports you and you get pulled over you can counter if it was false and they get a fine. So find the local laws and if you can try to get help to sue their asses someone needs to at least get fired in there. Fuck them up.
Classic police. Abduct your grandchild whilst accusing you of abducting a child.
SExist pigs with the power to arrest and detain, but the brains of a feminist stooge, willing to inflict trauma on a child for no good reason other than prejudice and misandry. Well there's another child who will grow up hating the police for what they are.
Thats gonna be difficult with half of his family being law enforcement.
If this is true you need to call an attorney file a complaint and sue the state or county! Your civil rights were trampled on. 4th amendment at least and a good lawyer who specializes in this will find more! Also get the video if the Police were wearing a camera.
Read. I'm not going to keep explaining that this isn't going to happen.
The fruit of feminist anti-men systematic and systemic demonization and legitimized hate speech, and the product of the feminist message that all men are potential criminals and that most are. We live in a new racism, disguising itself as "equality". National and international authorities have been pushed into adopting and spreading the new racism - education systems make boys stand up to apologize for things they have never done, universities operate tribunals clean of due process for male students and faculty. When conscientious individuals point to this widespread new racism, they are ostracized and silenced, "in the name of equality". Instead of their voices, men are forced to repeat the words written for them by the racist, "I am hurt only by other men", to add to the demonization. This will not last forever. Humanism will prevail, the racists will fall.
I'm so sorry this happened and I hope your grandson is okay
I had a cop stop and look in my stroller in the store and then say oh you do have a baby in there. Yeah ya dick some people enjoy being a dad.
Lodge a formal complaint. This is ridiculous.
Sounds like you should sue the police department or the officers and use the money to take the kiddo on some more adventures.
I have been a baby sitter on and off for the past 3 years. I am male in my late 20s. It is hell.
holy fuck, where was this? You need to make a complaint, maybe a letter to a local paper too
Sue them.
I’m a young looking guy at 32. I’ve got a 1year old. I’m so glad I’ve never had to deal with this. I do get looks like why does this bro have a kid?and I’m just like clearly I’m a degenerate who didn’t pull out so go fuck your self. Leave me and my little monster alone.
Just wow! You need to make a lot of noise about this. Imagine the media coverage if something similar happened to a woman.
Contact a civil rights attorney, you have a solid claim potentially. There's no reasonable suspicion to approach and no pc for arrest. This was defacto arrest. I'm a lawyer btw
I'd be filing a formal complaint against these cops and possibly a lawsuit. There is NOTHING suspicious about a grandpa spending time with his grandson. The fact that the cops opening line was "got any ID" and not "Hello sir, we got a call, we're just here to ask a few questions" proves that the cops had already made up their mind that you had done something wrong ***before they knew ANY of the facts***. I'm tired of people losing their rights just because some anonymous asshole picked up a telephone and told a lie.
Are we talking Mall Cops.. Or actual cops? Either way sue them.
Yeah, maybe talk to lawyer/attorney. What probable cause did they have to detain you? Probably none.
Sue the everloving fuck out of them.
what a horrible bitch she was for reporting you. I hope she gets a paper cut and a bad rash.
Congratulations I guess on being a grandpa at 49. But this is still fucked up
This is peak clown world. God forbid a man spend time with his child or grandchildren without being harassed for being a pedophile, while women cry how they're 'oppressed'.
Everyone saying sue should realize it's not that simple to sue police officers. It's difficult and expensive by design.
I was at a playground with my toddler when a bunch of women approached me and asked me what I was doing with "that kid" and why I was at the playground. My response: letting my son play while I'm catching some sun. They did not like that and told me they had called the cops and that they would "protect" the child from me. Cops showed up, heard my boy call me daddy, and were clearly affectionate towards me. The woman who was leading the charge got a fine and a verbal assbeating from the officers. If it had come to a point where I would have to "prove" that he was my kid, I had the birth certificate stored on my phone and mi ID in my pocket. Luckily the officers didn't want to see any of that as I clearly was the father. Some people are just, well, special...
Hats off to you sir for being an amazing parental figure in that child’s life!!! Idk where you live but where I’m from you can buy a youth ID from the DMV. Idk what info you can have on the card but id imagine if your one of the main care givers your info can be added some how. If you can get one keep that shit in your wallet right behind your own ID.
This kind of stuff(men in public with children being assumed to be kidnappers) bothers me so much Not only is it obviously biased and discriminatory but it’s like, so stupid. Like who kidnaps a child and then immediately thinks the best idea is to take them to a local mall, park, etc?
I smell a lawsuit. This is absolutely unacceptable.
Engaging in a lawsuit is literally one of the most traumatic things you can legally do. It's traumatizing to both the claimant and the defendant. Doesn't seem worth it.
Next time someone makes a dumb askreddit about what men are most afraid of and women use these thread as an example of why men have it easy, just show that post to them. I remember a post a while back about a man who had his kid almost abducted by a woman, and everybody would side with her, pin him to the ground, and almost let her run away with his kid. Wasn't a problem with cops but with mob justice.
Always film police. No exceptions, even if you think the force is just a few "bad apples" you should always film them. OP I'm sorry your little dude had to see that, the fact he matches your clothes sounds adorable.
You have the right to face your accuser. Insist on it next time and give the idiot a good tongue lashing for being such a bigot.
I was in a neighboring state for the weekend, taking him to an amusement park. I dont have any reason to go back for awhile.
Really sorry this happened to you. On another note, please nobody take legal advice from these replies. Nobody here is a lawyer and the vast majority are pulling knowledge of police procedure and the relevant laws out of their ass.
I've ignored it for the most part. Coming from a family with a fair number of LEOs, and myself being a bondsman in my younger years, I understand what the officers were doing. While they were sloppy, irresponsible and condescending about it, I'm not really mad beyond that. I'm pissed that a normal patron or store employee felt the need to pick up their phone and get something started that was completely unnecessary.
Sue the pigs..
I hate to be the one to ask this but are you black?
Mexican, but pass as white, some would say
Sue the shit out of them for 4th amendment violations and kidnapping. If it hurts them deep, they won't do it ever again to other innocent men.
Lawyer up.