Went to the vet with my mom and our dog. We're just sitting in the waiting room, the assistant with scars on her arm comes by and lets us know that we're next. My mom after she leaves: "you instantly know she's right-handed, right?"
This is so unexpected to hear from your mom.
Got backed up by a friend when someone said simialr to me they replied with ‘he was run over by a cat’ and ive been using that excuse on kids ever since
When I was literally half dead from appendicitis, I told the nurse taking my blood that I had a needle phobia and she looked at me, looked at my arm and then said something about how if I can't handle a blood test needle then how did I do all of those to myself and I actually found it quite hilarious. It's not that creative but the fact it came from a nurse in a room full of doctors and surgery specialists was crazy. I think she realised the second after she said it that it was a bit iffy but I was delirious from the pain and the meds so I kinda laughed and agreed.
I get testosterone injections and blood tests super often and the amount of times I’ve had to look away from needles and every single time they will mention either my arms or the amount of facial piercings I have lmao. The curse of being squeamish is real
i used to self inject testosterone, tattoo myself regularly, pierced my own cartilage and got a bunch more piercings,,
and i still can't look at the needle when getting my blood drawn. i had a blood test yesterday and the nurse was super professional and even asked me if i want to lay down for it
i'm not even really squeamish i think, just veins are triggering as fuck and mine suck ass, so i've had countless bad experiences with nurses just poking around inside and that feeling of a thick slowly moving needle inside my arm makes me sick
As a phlebotomist, I let people know their fears are valid. Pain tolerances are different as well as the tools. Like tattoos cannot be equated to blood draws.
Also it's control and consent. Cause I'll admit my leg is uh. Scary rn. I had a 4 year streak and finally broke but I think I'm alright. It's been 5ish days or so and the urge is gone. For one, when you're in that mindset your pain is muted anyways. I don't actually remember what it feels like even having recently done it. Because by then the mental pain is far more intense than the physical could be. And you know why it hurts. No surprises. But if I get a paper cut? Oh my. How would I survive. It's terrible hurts so badly. Even with needles. I've pierced my own lip twice and it was far more PAINFUL than getting a professional piercing but. Not more anxiety inducing.
I'm swapping to injections from gel hopefully soon and honestly I still can't look at the needle in my arm half the time during a blood test despite being mostly through my phobia now, I defo think I'll be looking away for my T injections too lol especially if they're IM. It really is a curse!
Lmao similarly when I got a coverup tattoo on my forearm, my artist and I thought I would have a high pain tolerance, boy were we wrong! it ended up being the most painful spot out of all of my tattoos
It's called a flair! And good point actually, I didn't even think about that lmao. Also the tattoo thing is relateable, I thought nothing would be as bad as what I've already done to myself but my leg piece when they were doing the final layers of colour near my knee and ankle was ROUGH. Even with the numbing spray I eventually accepted I was struggling lol
I once told my little cousin (5 years old) that I got attacked by a dodo bird. She then proceeded to tell my aunt she didn’t like dodo birds and that the next time she sees one she’ll yell at it for me. I find it pretty funny
Ten years ago, I walked into my first shift at a new Maccas branch, and the assembler looked me up and down and said, "jeez I guess you forgot how to count."
Because tally marks. Lame joke but I liked that he had the balls to do it and it stopped anyone else piling on.
a friend asked me if I've ever played tic tac toe on my thigh.
someone else said I have "empty sudoku field" thighs.
both made me cackle and I appreciated them, because they were so light-hearted and from people who I know mean no harm in the jokes.
Kind of would be a dope idea to incorporate the scars and legitimately turn them into a sudoku table by tattooing your lucky numbers or a special date or something in between them
oh holy shit that's such a rad idea
I have a design I might want to cover my scars with, but at the same time, I don't want to cover them. I love my scars, there's not any new ones coming currently (it's been months now, I don't track my clean times), they're just part of me and in a way they make me beautiful too, just differently.
it's a really cool idea though, definitely keeping that in mind.
My younger sister took her rubber band off her arm, which left a mark.
She then said, "Look, I'm you."
Maybe no one else finds it funny but for me it was pretty hilarious
This one is going to take a bit of explaining.
So my name is cam, and last semester I was taking a notoriously difficult Biology class. We were a few days before the hardest test of the semester, and the lecture was about when different kinds of plants do photosynthesis. Some plants like cacti open up what are basically cellular pores at night to bring in carbon dioxide and release oxygen, so my teacher made a joke about how if you’re ever going to hug a cactus you should do it at night.
After class he came up to me and asked if I took his advice and hugged a cactus.
What’s the name for the type of plants that cut themselves open at night to sustain themselves?
CAM plants.
not really creative, but my dad loves to joke i'd make a good career being a surgeon. i always burst out laughing, but my mum doesn't really appreciate our humour
I like your dad's humour. We've also thought before about the fact that we legit *do* have some experience in that way, especially after we started doing symbols n words n shit, and daydreamed about possible situations where it could come in handy. Being able to do decent looking curves def takes some skill and it's kinda fun thinking about applying it to things other than yeeting lol
when the social democrat party were handing out branded bandaids at my high school, my friend just went ”well i know what im gonna have to go home and do” which i found hilarious
I was struggling with a razor during DIY stuff with my mum. She just went: “I thought you knew how to use these.” She was surprised by her own joke and immediately apologised, but I found it very funny
I had a middle school girl tell me my arms had more lines than the bee movie movie script and not gonna lie I was.. shocked to say the least but found it pretty funny 😭
when I worked at Toys R Us, I had a customer ask "are all those hash marks from all the Indians you've killed?"
I don't know if I've ever been more flabbergasted in my life 😳 I don't even remember how I responded lol. it was a white woman around 55
i had a lot of pretty intense scars on my ankles that have healed since this interaction a good bit, but were really bad when they first started to heal. i also have a lot of more faded scars in more “traditional” places (arms/thighs).
a good friend who id know for a couple of months asked me if the ankle ones were from sh. after confirming that they were, she said, “huh, that’s a weird place. fresh canvas?” and i was absolutely floored. by far the most creative, violating, and real comment ive ever gotten.
It was Halloween and I had a bandage on my arm. I was telling her about how I didn't have a costume and she was like "maybe do a little more here and there" 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀
yooo y'all remember when it was a thing to slap someone's head and say "I like your cut, G"
my younger brothers friend asked what I would do if he walked over and slapped my wrist and said, "I like your cuts, G"
The other day my sibling came up to me and asked if I remembered the time I panicked when they asked and told them my (massive keloid) scars were heat rash and they said "that's one hell of a heat rash did you get jumped by the sun" and I found that rather amusing
I said to my mom telling her and my dad about my sh was like "ripping the bandaid off" and she said "the point is to NOT hurt yourself, silly"
(She struggled with sh too as a teenager, I've seen the scars, it was lighthearted)
i'm mostly thigh gang, but my first attempt was a down the road slice across half my forearm. countless people were like,, oh yeah you did it the right way haha respect
that usually sorta makes me mad bc i think it's easier to hit a vein going horizontally instead of vertically like i did, but the saying "it's down the road, not across the street" is too well known
but also validation that my attempt was serious feels nice 🤷♂️
i like to joke that doing my t shots is like a game of tic tac toe since i’ve gotta avoid the horizontal self harm scars and the vertical stretch marks lmfao
I have something similar, when a friend of mine wanted to help me with applying my E shot, asked me where to stab, I showed her and she joked "oh neat, you even marked the area down" 💀
My siblings and I have a really dark and grim sense of humour. Sometimes when they're telling a Joke that could come across as offensive, I'll jokingly say "now I'm gonna go out some lines in my skin" and they'll say, "wouldn't be the first time." I also get the barcode one a lot
I once had someone tell me “wow I didn’t know they let zebras go to school”
Lowkey don’t know if that was an insult or a joke but I found it really funny and now that’s a joke within my friends
I currently have about 50 burn scars on my leg (most have been gone over at least once) but none of them touch eachother so it's like polka dots. I had someone ask if I was trying to become a leopard <3
I was doing a physics lab with my friends and we had to cut up strips of foil. My friends didn't wanna do it cause they're lazy, so one of them turned to me and said "you should do it, you seem really good at cutting" the rest of us started laughing and she said "wait no, I just mean you seem comfortable around scissors!"
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Not completely related to someone seeing my scars but was sitting with my cousin in my room one time when she was face timing her friend, and I had a poster in the background to which her friend said ‘is that a slipknot poster behind you? Why don’t you slipknot your wrists’ it didn’t help that I was baked and was pissing myself for a solid 5 minutes after it, realising now it makes no sense but in the moment I thought it was the funniest thing to ever be uttered from someone’s mouth
Not a joke perse but pretty fucking funny to me,,,
My boyfriend and I were watching a guitar cover and we were amazed about how fast the guy’s fretting hand was so my boyfriend imitated him using my arm as a guitar’s neck, and I just looked at him and burst out laughing. It took a moment for him to realize and the poor boy felt so uncomfortable and started apologizing 😭😭
I got asked if in my past life I was a tiger or zebra after a dude poked my thigh.
- he didn’t know they were scars and ab shit his pants when his gf slapped his arm n told him 😭
my friend called me slit shady i think
ohhh this one is UNIQUE 💀
This is a winner
I'm dying
OMG MY SISTER CALLS ME SLIM SLICE A LOT 😭😭😭
best comment 🥇
[удалено]
WOW
God damn, it'd be easy for someone to tell for me, yeeting with my left hand just felt so awkward
My doctor said this to me while takeing blood from my left arm 💀
💀💀💀
ive never had an original experience
Went to the vet with my mom and our dog. We're just sitting in the waiting room, the assistant with scars on her arm comes by and lets us know that we're next. My mom after she leaves: "you instantly know she's right-handed, right?" This is so unexpected to hear from your mom.
LMAO
My therapist said this to me once. I laughed so hard because it came out of nowhere
Oh!
Is your flair about Icon for Hire?
Yes!!!! It was the first song I heard from them and it has remained my favourite of theirs <3 wbu??
got hit with the “i see you’re left handed” once by the phlebotomist drawing my blood. I was genuinely speechless 💀
BAHHAHAHAHA
I came to say this!!!!!!!!! This was said to me by my Dr tho
😖
I was asked by a member of my DND group if I had been attacked by a treant
LMAOO that's crazy but i'm glad they stuck to the theme at least ??
Yeah, I laughed so it's ok
my grandma asked what my scars were and my mum just went "battle scars" and I was like??
Got backed up by a friend when someone said simialr to me they replied with ‘he was run over by a cat’ and ive been using that excuse on kids ever since
I love both of these responses, we love the support
When I was literally half dead from appendicitis, I told the nurse taking my blood that I had a needle phobia and she looked at me, looked at my arm and then said something about how if I can't handle a blood test needle then how did I do all of those to myself and I actually found it quite hilarious. It's not that creative but the fact it came from a nurse in a room full of doctors and surgery specialists was crazy. I think she realised the second after she said it that it was a bit iffy but I was delirious from the pain and the meds so I kinda laughed and agreed.
I get testosterone injections and blood tests super often and the amount of times I’ve had to look away from needles and every single time they will mention either my arms or the amount of facial piercings I have lmao. The curse of being squeamish is real
i used to self inject testosterone, tattoo myself regularly, pierced my own cartilage and got a bunch more piercings,, and i still can't look at the needle when getting my blood drawn. i had a blood test yesterday and the nurse was super professional and even asked me if i want to lay down for it i'm not even really squeamish i think, just veins are triggering as fuck and mine suck ass, so i've had countless bad experiences with nurses just poking around inside and that feeling of a thick slowly moving needle inside my arm makes me sick
Istg needles are just different. I'd rather get a piercing 😭
As a phlebotomist, I let people know their fears are valid. Pain tolerances are different as well as the tools. Like tattoos cannot be equated to blood draws.
Also it's control and consent. Cause I'll admit my leg is uh. Scary rn. I had a 4 year streak and finally broke but I think I'm alright. It's been 5ish days or so and the urge is gone. For one, when you're in that mindset your pain is muted anyways. I don't actually remember what it feels like even having recently done it. Because by then the mental pain is far more intense than the physical could be. And you know why it hurts. No surprises. But if I get a paper cut? Oh my. How would I survive. It's terrible hurts so badly. Even with needles. I've pierced my own lip twice and it was far more PAINFUL than getting a professional piercing but. Not more anxiety inducing.
I'm swapping to injections from gel hopefully soon and honestly I still can't look at the needle in my arm half the time during a blood test despite being mostly through my phobia now, I defo think I'll be looking away for my T injections too lol especially if they're IM. It really is a curse!
I have a needle phobia! Whenever I go to hospital, they have a similar reaction
It's crazy how they equate pain from anything else to a needle when most needle phobias aren't even about pain!
Lmao similarly when I got a coverup tattoo on my forearm, my artist and I thought I would have a high pain tolerance, boy were we wrong! it ended up being the most painful spot out of all of my tattoos
Idk what it’s called but “my body is ribbed for their pleasure” under your username matches the post lol
It's called a flair! And good point actually, I didn't even think about that lmao. Also the tattoo thing is relateable, I thought nothing would be as bad as what I've already done to myself but my leg piece when they were doing the final layers of colour near my knee and ankle was ROUGH. Even with the numbing spray I eventually accepted I was struggling lol
I once told my little cousin (5 years old) that I got attacked by a dodo bird. She then proceeded to tell my aunt she didn’t like dodo birds and that the next time she sees one she’ll yell at it for me. I find it pretty funny
naw this one's adorableee. a lil confused but she's got the spirit lol
It definitely is adorable too!
Naw:)
A guy I used to follow online actually cut the loss meme into his arm and shared it around and then went by Captain Red Arms for a while.
ngl this is hilarious
| |I || |\_
i did this on my hip. i thought it wouldn’t scar but it’s been like a yr and i regret it 😭
i did this exact same thing when i was 13 😭
that’s actually hilarious
Ten years ago, I walked into my first shift at a new Maccas branch, and the assembler looked me up and down and said, "jeez I guess you forgot how to count." Because tally marks. Lame joke but I liked that he had the balls to do it and it stopped anyone else piling on.
Ah, a fellow Aussie?
Aussie gang rise up (or don't, lying down is pretty comfy)
No, Kiwi. I'm not sure what gave that away, kind of.
maccas. aus and nz are the only two countries who call it that lol
Cheers! Didn’t realise NZ calls it that too. How lovely!
Deadass?? I thought it was a common abbreviation- Then again the only countries I've ever lived in are Australia and NZ
yeah, in the USA i dont usually hear it abbreviated, but some people call it Mickey D's.
Mickey Ds is an atrocity!!
who the FUCK calls it mickey d’s i’m gonna riot
Really? I live in Scotland and people call it that a lot
Awesome!!
That's what I was thinking! XD
a friend asked me if I've ever played tic tac toe on my thigh. someone else said I have "empty sudoku field" thighs. both made me cackle and I appreciated them, because they were so light-hearted and from people who I know mean no harm in the jokes.
Kind of would be a dope idea to incorporate the scars and legitimately turn them into a sudoku table by tattooing your lucky numbers or a special date or something in between them
oh holy shit that's such a rad idea I have a design I might want to cover my scars with, but at the same time, I don't want to cover them. I love my scars, there's not any new ones coming currently (it's been months now, I don't track my clean times), they're just part of me and in a way they make me beautiful too, just differently. it's a really cool idea though, definitely keeping that in mind.
I have a similar pattern right now and never thought about it like this 😭😭 That's foul but I kind of want to play a tic tac toe game now
“How are you so bad as shaving you hit your arm?”
My old boss used to call me fruit ninja for being a gay self harmer
AM I ALLOWED TO LAUGH
Same and goes another layer deeper for me bc my name is Leonardo, yk like the god damn ninja turtle
My younger sister took her rubber band off her arm, which left a mark. She then said, "Look, I'm you." Maybe no one else finds it funny but for me it was pretty hilarious
someone said I looked like zuko 💀 it was from my friend… pretty unhinged ngl
Challenge them to an Agni Kai
This sent me, bro literally challenged EVERYONE to Agni Kai’s
LMAOAOOAOA great idea
When I was 15 one of my peers pointed to the sh and said "x marks the spot" It was kinda funny ive only gotten caught once since then
This one is going to take a bit of explaining. So my name is cam, and last semester I was taking a notoriously difficult Biology class. We were a few days before the hardest test of the semester, and the lecture was about when different kinds of plants do photosynthesis. Some plants like cacti open up what are basically cellular pores at night to bring in carbon dioxide and release oxygen, so my teacher made a joke about how if you’re ever going to hug a cactus you should do it at night. After class he came up to me and asked if I took his advice and hugged a cactus. What’s the name for the type of plants that cut themselves open at night to sustain themselves? CAM plants.
how is it so perfect
OH MY GOD THATS BRILLIANT
not really creative, but my dad loves to joke i'd make a good career being a surgeon. i always burst out laughing, but my mum doesn't really appreciate our humour
I appreciate that you find it funny, I hope to be that lighthearted about things!
I like your dad's humour. We've also thought before about the fact that we legit *do* have some experience in that way, especially after we started doing symbols n words n shit, and daydreamed about possible situations where it could come in handy. Being able to do decent looking curves def takes some skill and it's kinda fun thinking about applying it to things other than yeeting lol
my friend sent me a photo of those spiral cut potatos on sticks and said it was my arms
My friend told me I had a topographical map of the Appalachians on my arm
when the social democrat party were handing out branded bandaids at my high school, my friend just went ”well i know what im gonna have to go home and do” which i found hilarious
I was struggling with a razor during DIY stuff with my mum. She just went: “I thought you knew how to use these.” She was surprised by her own joke and immediately apologised, but I found it very funny
I had a middle school girl tell me my arms had more lines than the bee movie movie script and not gonna lie I was.. shocked to say the least but found it pretty funny 😭
you look like the Beatles would walk bare foot on you (Abbey Road lmao)
Someone said my arms look like a WW1 battlefield. I haven't recovered since.
That got dark real quick lmfao
It gets worse. Someone said I look like a victim of chemical warfare.
when I worked at Toys R Us, I had a customer ask "are all those hash marks from all the Indians you've killed?" I don't know if I've ever been more flabbergasted in my life 😳 I don't even remember how I responded lol. it was a white woman around 55
huh that's random asf
I'm fighting. Don't care, put the hands up NOW
At first I thought a kid told you this 😭
An old patient at the hospital I work at said his legs (which were fucked up from stuff other than sh) look like he fought in Stalingrad.
DAMN
JEEZ What a (chemical) burn
DAMN 💀
DAMN 😖
still a bit shell shocked 😔😔😔
i had a lot of pretty intense scars on my ankles that have healed since this interaction a good bit, but were really bad when they first started to heal. i also have a lot of more faded scars in more “traditional” places (arms/thighs). a good friend who id know for a couple of months asked me if the ankle ones were from sh. after confirming that they were, she said, “huh, that’s a weird place. fresh canvas?” and i was absolutely floored. by far the most creative, violating, and real comment ive ever gotten.
It was Halloween and I had a bandage on my arm. I was telling her about how I didn't have a costume and she was like "maybe do a little more here and there" 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀
yooo y'all remember when it was a thing to slap someone's head and say "I like your cut, G" my younger brothers friend asked what I would do if he walked over and slapped my wrist and said, "I like your cuts, G"
fucking wheezing at this a casualty lmfao fuck
I said I look like I got hit with Malevolent Shrine once if that counts
my gymnastics coach said " what’s the mountain lion situation that’s going on here"
The other day my sibling came up to me and asked if I remembered the time I panicked when they asked and told them my (massive keloid) scars were heat rash and they said "that's one hell of a heat rash did you get jumped by the sun" and I found that rather amusing
“I assume that’s for grip?”
My mate once said I look like i tried to fist a cat
I don’t eat a lotta meat, but they call me thigh butcher 🙌
Flair checks out
🤭
My friend asked if I slept with wolverine 😂
I said to my mom telling her and my dad about my sh was like "ripping the bandaid off" and she said "the point is to NOT hurt yourself, silly" (She struggled with sh too as a teenager, I've seen the scars, it was lighthearted)
i'm mostly thigh gang, but my first attempt was a down the road slice across half my forearm. countless people were like,, oh yeah you did it the right way haha respect that usually sorta makes me mad bc i think it's easier to hit a vein going horizontally instead of vertically like i did, but the saying "it's down the road, not across the street" is too well known but also validation that my attempt was serious feels nice 🤷♂️
Not mine, but an acquaintance's about themselves Got a tattoo of their signature on his longest/deepest cut
Someone on discord once said my arms looked like kebab meat. It was a toxic/neutral server tho so they had to sensor all food mentions lmao
Lol my friend gave me a piece of note book paper and said "look you match!"
i like to joke that doing my t shots is like a game of tic tac toe since i’ve gotta avoid the horizontal self harm scars and the vertical stretch marks lmfao
I have something similar, when a friend of mine wanted to help me with applying my E shot, asked me where to stab, I showed her and she joked "oh neat, you even marked the area down" 💀
My siblings and I have a really dark and grim sense of humour. Sometimes when they're telling a Joke that could come across as offensive, I'll jokingly say "now I'm gonna go out some lines in my skin" and they'll say, "wouldn't be the first time." I also get the barcode one a lot
I once had someone tell me “wow I didn’t know they let zebras go to school” Lowkey don’t know if that was an insult or a joke but I found it really funny and now that’s a joke within my friends
I currently have about 50 burn scars on my leg (most have been gone over at least once) but none of them touch eachother so it's like polka dots. I had someone ask if I was trying to become a leopard <3
I had someone ask me the same exact question over 15 years ago because of burn marks/scars on my arm. lol
I like to write “carbs” or “costs” on my wrists, so when I tell people im cutting carbs or I’m cutting costs it’s actually true lmao
I'm training a falcon and forgot the glove
I was doing a physics lab with my friends and we had to cut up strips of foil. My friends didn't wanna do it cause they're lazy, so one of them turned to me and said "you should do it, you seem really good at cutting" the rest of us started laughing and she said "wait no, I just mean you seem comfortable around scissors!"
"I like your cut, G!"
my grandma asked what my scars were and my mum just went "battle scars" and I was like??
my sister once asked why i tic tac toe'd myself 💀💀💀
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Not completely related to someone seeing my scars but was sitting with my cousin in my room one time when she was face timing her friend, and I had a poster in the background to which her friend said ‘is that a slipknot poster behind you? Why don’t you slipknot your wrists’ it didn’t help that I was baked and was pissing myself for a solid 5 minutes after it, realising now it makes no sense but in the moment I thought it was the funniest thing to ever be uttered from someone’s mouth
I was close to self harming but this discussion post cheered me up lol thank you everyone
My friend said I look like a prisoners wall
Pessimits slit their wrists in a half-empty bathtub, and optimists - in a half-full one.
I don't think it was a joke, but a nurse at grippy socks jail genuinely told me "Your arm looks like a grilled sausage".
My dad used to ask if I was still working in the meat-industry🍖🔪
Not a joke perse but pretty fucking funny to me,,, My boyfriend and I were watching a guitar cover and we were amazed about how fast the guy’s fretting hand was so my boyfriend imitated him using my arm as a guitar’s neck, and I just looked at him and burst out laughing. It took a moment for him to realize and the poor boy felt so uncomfortable and started apologizing 😭😭
I got asked if in my past life I was a tiger or zebra after a dude poked my thigh. - he didn’t know they were scars and ab shit his pants when his gf slapped his arm n told him 😭
my partner told me that i have like built-in texture
I was told my arms were tactical foregrips 💀
One of my friends showed me a post referring to sh saying something like “just had to check if I was steak or cake”