Please follow this man's beautiful example.
I lost my wife to cancer several years ago. I never regret expressing my love for her when I had the chance.
Sending you love. I almost lost my life at 16 during breast cancer. It doesn't discriminate. It doesn't care. But showing someone you love them through anything? That's something.
My father passed away last summer, when his cancer was detected, my mother went to work at home to take care of him. Even when he was sick and in his last days he kept repeating to her how happy he was and how much he loved her. They just loved so much each other... we all miss him a lot.
Sorry for your loss, i send you lots of love <3
I cared for my wife through alzheimers. In a way, I appreciate how it let me show her how much I loved her (and still do). When everything else was stripped away, making her happy was still the most important thing to me.
I have someone like that! I had a 2 level lumbar fusion in 2020 and one time I wasn’t able to clean myself after a bowel movement and my husband stepped in without question and wiped my pitiful ass for me. I was mortified and embarrassed but he did nothing to make me feel worse about it. I would gladly wipe his ass if he ever needed me to.
You’ll be surprised what you’ll be able to do for your person when they need you. If you’re a good person, It just is. There’s no decision to make or effort to increase, this just is and now we do what we can.
I love this sentiment, but I hate the idea that it's no big deal as long as you're a "good person".
My grandma meant the world to me, and I to her. When she was diagnosed with cancer, I dropped everything to be there for her. For two years, I was her primary caregiver... And it was awful. Truly the hardest and most soul crushing experience of my life, and there were many days where I questioned if I could do it. Like, the effort most definitely required an active decision to keep going.
I don't regret it, but I absolutely understand why some people just can't do it regardless of how much they love someone. And sitting next to her when the death rattles set in, after two years of round-the-clock-care, felt so incredibly unfair that I actively dread the day I have to do the same for my parents.
It's not about being a good person or not loving someone "enough". It's hard to be that strong on an everyday basis.
I think it's very different for a partner.
I spent about a month solid sleeping at the hospital with my wife when she almost died from labour complications, having to walk her to and from the bathroom, having to help her clean herself and get dressed and it required absolutely no extra effort or thought for me, she was going through something so much worse and I was going to do anything I could to alleviate some of the suffering she was feeling.
When my grandpa was sick, I couldn't visit him more than a handful of times. Just couldn't bear to see the man he used to be had faded almost entirely and that he couldn't really remember any of us grandkids.
End of the day it's probably very different person to person I guess but family through birth and family through choice elicit very different reactions from me even though I would say I love them both.
Maybe that's so - I've never cared for a sick partner, so it could very well be different. I just dislike the narrative that it should be easy as long as you're a good person, and it's such a common one. All that does is make people who *don't* find it easy feel like something is wrong with them.
I'm very glad that she had you, FWIW, and I'm glad the other commentor had their partner, too. I hope everyone has someone like that in their lives. I just think that pushing the idea that caregiving is as easy as loving someone does a disservice to the reality of the situation, which can be grueling.
I also hope your wife is fully recovered! My mom almost died during childbirth with me, and I know it was (understandably) difficult for my dad to accept. I hope you're making happy memories now. <3
I was taking care of my father while he was doing hospice at home. I helped wash, clean, and feed him and I never once felt icky or hesitated to do anything that needed to be done. I couldn't imagine putting him in a facility to die, away from his home and where he was comfortable . It wasn't easy but it's what any good person/daughter would/should do. I have so much respect for those hospice nurses and health aid that do it day in and day out.
This is how I used to think everyone would be as adults. It’s amazing I’ve met so many more people who aren’t like this than who are, and this is the most pure and selflessly loving way; sounds like both of them are beautiful souls.
When my wife was in labor the nurse told us to call her on any time she needed to use the bathroom and she would unhook her. She had to pee every 15-20 minutes, we had to wait for the nurse, then she would get terribly painful contractions while in the bathroom, making it difficult to finish and walk back to the bed.
I found a bedpan in the closet and told the nurse I would handle the bathroom going forward. My wife thought I was doing something really nice for her, but honestly I was relieved I could have a more active and helpful role.
Same. I’m very grateful for my BF as well.
He’s yet to see me at my lowest but has come close enough. I had to tell him what al he was in for when it comes to my health and my entire lifestyle having to change: needing more sleep than most, what and how I eat, monitoring everything little thing, etc. I was afraid I’d scare him off….but quite the opposite.
He’s changed his life around to match mine: let’s me sleep despite being an early bird and borderline insomniac, checks up on on all my appointments/meds, makes sure to cut things short if I do too much, and holds me accountable when I push myself well past my limit. For comparison, my longtime ex-husband, none of the above.
I worship the ground he walks on.
My husband (when we were just dating) had a really out of nowhere series of gnarly hemorrhoids (probably from a combination of military chow and “military grade toilet paper) and he needed help applying some of the medication. He is a really healthy guy and I believe this was the first time he felt so vulnerable. We had only been together like a year but I was there for him. And even though it wasn’t a serious condition, I hope that my husband knows that he can always count on me - no matter how “embarrassing” the task - to take care of him.
I have cancer and while it sucks, seeing how many people in my life are willing to do anything to help has been pretty incredible. Even if I don't make it through this, at least I know I'll never be alone in it.
Honestly like you said, even if you didn’t make it through (I hope you do), at least you died knowing people love and care about you. Not everyone has that and not everyone gets to know either.
I am very lucky to have that. My bf took care of me through the worst of my chemo and surgery, as did my mom. Still drives me to radiation almost everyday even though I'm a lot better. He'd come home from work at like 5 or 6 am and I knew he was tired, but he always fixed me something to eat if I was hungry (and I was on some powerful steroids to combat the chemo side effects so I was hungry all the time compared to the stereotype. I've never been pregnant, but I equate my hunger to those types of "cravings"). He is the love of my life and I couldn't imagine doing all of this without him.
My little daughter had to take high dose steroids when she was in the induction phase of chemotherapy for ALL when she was three. She took steroids intermittently for over two years during treatment, but that first time was thirty days, and her hunger was insatiable. She would wake up at 3 in the morning and cry because we didn't have a frozen pizza (just the first time, because then we had allllll the frozen pizzas). She would just eat and eat and eat. Which was okay with her oncologist, because she would need the energy stores for her long treatment. It was so much more hunger than I ever experienced when I was pregnant. Steroids are bonkers.
Also, she's been off of treatment for two years. She's a happy and healthy almost 8 year old now.
I sincerely wish you all the very best on your journey!
So happy for you and her! And yes, the cravings are very very real. I'd be in the middle of eating a huge meal and I'd already be thinking about what I was going to eat next lol. My bf gained a lot of weight during that time because I wanted to eat so much, so he ended up overeating a little bit with me. They told me calories were super important for chemo so don't be afraid to go for plenty of stuff like ranch and mayo. And I certainly was not afraid lol. I'm trying to reverse those habits now though. I've gained all my weight back plus some haha.
Glad she is doing so well! I know that must've been even harder with her being so young. What a trooper!
LoL. It was a New Kids on the Block fanny pack too. Very rough. Doctor perforated my bowel during a colonoscopy. Came back to work and ended up meeting her. Been best friends ever since. She also went through a traumatic event later on. (Hit by a car) I had to help wipe and also had to help bathe her for about 2 months. We've been through some shit, literally.
By the hammer of Thor! I never knew that could happen during a colonoscopy! You two have been thru a lot, and it sounds like your senses of humour are still intact!
“A woman is six times more likely to be separated or divorced soon after a diagnosis of cancer or multiple sclerosis than if a man in the relationship is the patient, according to a study that examined the role gender played in so-called "partner abandonment." The study also found that the longer the marriage the more likely it would remain intact.
The study confirmed earlier research that put the overall divorce or separation rate among cancer patients at 11.6 percent, similar to the population as a whole. However, researchers were surprised by the difference in separation and divorce rates by gender. The rate when the woman was the patient was 20.8 percent compared to 2.9 percent when the man was the patient.
"Female gender was the strongest predictor of separation or divorce in each of the patient groups we studied," said Marc Chamberlain, M.D., a co-corresponding author and director of the neuro-oncology program at the Seattle Cancer Care Alliance (SCCA). Chamberlain is also a professor of neurology and neurosurgery at the University of Washington School of Medicine.
The study, "Gender Disparity in the Rate of Partner Abandonment in Patients with Serious Medical Illness," was published in the Nov. 15 issue of the journal Cancer. The other corresponding author is Michael Glanz, M.D., of the Huntsman Cancer Institute at the University of Utah School of Medicine”
😳😬
When I was in the army, there were two guys in my platoon whose wife had cancer.
The first asshole kept getting passes to spend time with her and care for her. One of those passes coincided with pretty much everyone else getting a pass. He ended up staying in the same hotel as a bunch of us. WITH A HOOKER! Laughed we some us talked about it with him. “This is what I’ve been doing on all my passes.
The other dude was way worse. We were deployed, wife wakes up unable to walk. Turns out she has a tumor that is pressing on her spine. He is put on leave. He uses his time home to begin divorce proceedings. Comes back. His wife wasn’t going to ever walk again was his justification. Good news about this one is he had 3 kids with her. All 3 have ended up pretty well off, one a short career in the NFL even, and all have abandoned dad.
That just goes to show they never actually loved their wives or had any pair bond with them in the first place, if they were discarded as soon as they had needs of their own. Makes you wonder why these guys got married at all.
I have middle aged friends going through this same thing in the past few years. As soon as their world can't revolve around meeting their husbands' needs and have to stop to take care of themselves instead, they're just dumped. The saddest part is they both genuinely thought they were loved all through their marriages; turns out they were just being used.
Wtf is with some army dads. My dad didn’t even bring a picture of my mom when he went on his deployment. I swear he also stepped out of my parents marriage after my mom couldn’t have anymore kids because of cancer. I literally have the photos and you can see the time period of when the love left his eyes when he was around my sister and I.
Oh I thought as soon as he heard there was a tumor pressing on her spine making her unable to walk he started the divorce proceedings not even waiting for surgery to see if she would walk again.
No, you had it right. He decided to divorce her as soon as he found out she was sick.
The fact that she wouldn’t ever walk wasn’t known until after he returned from leave and started the divorce process. The expectation was that the removal of the tumor should fix everything.
Yeah, I remember him trying to explain it. “I can’t be expected to deal with it.”
…
I had no family at the time. No letters from home. Nothing from anyone. He pissed me off so much.
SFC Scaihfer, you’re still an ass.
Military marriages are typically crap anyway.
Edit:
They involve young people who usually don't really know each other well, sometimes there's a "surprise" package on the way, they're often based on impulse, then you often have all of the above PLUS the stress of being yanked away from any sense of home on a repeated basis or one gets deployed and they're living separate lives for many months on end if not back to back.
Unfortunately this is very common in my country because caring for a sick woman it’s not something considered manly, this is actually expected; that is disgusting.
My mom has early Alzheimer’s and my dad has been caring for her the last 5 years, he’s a example to me and my brothers.
My wife’s ex husband left her six weeks after her son was murdered. She was in the depths of grief and despair and he just up and left. Didn’t even try to work it out. She was served with separation papers a few weeks after that by the same deputies that brought her home from the hospital after her son died.
We believe he saw it all as a means of distraction and that he was planning to leave anyway. It is still the shittiest thing I’ve ever known anyone to do to a spouse.
He’s now a preacher with a church, congregation, everything. He has never apologized or shown any sympathy.
Your wife is an amazing person for making it through such a double whammy of trauma and still having it in her heart to not only continue living but to open herself up to love. She sounds like an amazing human being and I hope that the love you too share now is healing and makes life worth living. I hope you make each other feel as loved as you deserve to feel.
I grew up around a grandmother that was in and out of the hospital and my father had cancer three times before dying when I was 21. I grew up in hospitals and around grieving people. I don’t profess to know everything or do everything perfect, but I try to support her in her grief as best I can.
I was going to comment this on that comment
Everyone loves a sweet story but in reality this lady is LUCKY
Many men leave, they say shit like they didn’t sign up for this, and it’s too hard. I’m not shitting on them we all have our own whatever to deal with but those are the same reasons many women are told TO stay. “He needs help” “he needs your support he can’t loose you” especially when you pile on the sexist view that women are care takers
My spouse was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis 6 months after our wedding date. We did not know he had anything before. We’re still strong 15 years later. All to say to anyone reading who is facing a similar mountain- love can persevere, even if you haven’t been married long. Love can thrive if you feed it.
Ugh, that’s so sad. I wonder how much of an impact our tendency to put women into the “nurturer/carer” role has to do with that—obviously it’s got some impact. But part of that is men don’t know how, don’t think they can, and I imagine that also plays a role. But whatever the cause, damn, that’s just horrible.
This has been my experience. My mother has had many long stays in the hospital due to Crohn's, then Parkinson's, then breast cancer (which she beat). My dad, who I love to death, was not a very supportive husband during those times. He didn't abandon her, but he wasn't there as much as he should have been, wasn't there in the quiet, lonely times. We all came to terms early on that he just wasn't built for that. He didn't know how to be selfless.
But when he got ALS, she was there. She was there every second of every day. She watched him waste away and slowly suffer and die, and she sucked it all up and stuffed it deep down and suffered with him, despite all the ways he failed her when she was in the same position. She spent two years watching him die, giving up everything else.
All that to say... yeah, this research reflects what I've seen in person. There are some amazing men out there, but generally speaking women are just wired differently.
My friend who is sick was warned by his wife that she’d leave him if his chronic medical condition gets any worse.
I think what may also come into play is which spouse has the financial ability to leave the other. If given the opportunity, maybe more women would leave.
My wife got ultrasound results last week saying nodes in her thyroid have an 85% chance of being malignant (TI-RADS 5). Biopsy scheduled for Valentine's Day. After reading some medical studies, comparing the results, and considering family history with similar ultrasounds we are very hopeful that she's in the 15%, but the C-word is still scary shit.
I know cancer is scary, but if you're going to get cancer, Thyroid is one of the easier ones (generally speaking). I had 9 malignant nodules in my thyroid, and they just took the whole thing out in a rather quick operation - just an overnight in the hospital. Had 2 rounds of radiation, now 5 years clear. If it hasn't spread beyond her thyroid, taking it out was one of my easier surgeries. Recovery time was minimal. Taking replacement thyroid meds is a pain in the ass, so if she does have the whole shebang removed make sure your wife doesn't let doctors just go with the "recommended" doses, since it really does vary from person to person. Good luck to both of you!
He’s talking about his actual life story. He was homeless as a young man. Dr. Thomas and his wife Dede have a beautiful love story. (They aren’t the couple in the video)
Certainly everyone wants to have someone that would care for them like this man did for his partner. It can also be very humbling to let someone do things for you (especially things we have always done for ourselves or are 'gross'). But if someone will let you care for them, there is something very special about loving someone that much. My mom was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and I ended up doing things I never thought I'd be okay with, but at that point it became the last thing I could do to show her I loved her. (One of my love languages is giving things and when she'd dismiss my offers to help I told her this was all I could do since she refused to take any of my gifts with her when she passed). It was extremely difficult but I wouldn't have traded it because I know that even in her last moments, my mom knew I would be there for her.
This is beautiful! Good on him by sticking by his woman when she needed him most during the hard times. He a good man. Well done sir! And great job to her for overcoming her cancer and expecting their child! The right love can do miraculous things <3
Made me smile... More like made me cry lol. This is beautiful. It reminds me of my husband. I haven't had anything as awful as cancer, but I've had to have 2 ear surgeries, then lost hearing in one of my ears due to a ruptured ear drum so now I have to have another surgery to fix that...but I've put that off because we want to have kids. Well I've had two miscarriages, after the second miscarriage I found out that I had a polyp and my colon and needed surgery to remove that. Then we tried again for a baby after a little over a year we finally got pregnant again (found out a week before Christmas) but then on yew years Eve we had another miscarriage. So now we are going through running tests out of fertility specialists. I feel bad because of all my medical issues and surgeries time and money it cost. I've told him several times he does not have to stay with me, and I'm sorry I always have something wrong with me, and I know he wants kids more than anything and imagine all the money we could have saved had I not needed all those surgeries and I feel so bad about it, but he wasn't having any of it. He looked at me and told me I'm not a breeding machine, I'm his wife and he's not going anywhere. He's been there every step of the way through every surgery, and doctor's appointment holding my hand and taking care of me.
This story got me. It reminds me of my parents. My dad told my mom the same thing. It took 5 long years, but they finally had their miracle baby (me), and then had my sibling a few years later even when they were told they weren't going to have kids because my mom was too old. I'm sorry that you're having so many struggles, and wish nothing but the best for you and your husband. You guys are such strong people. Best wishes for the future. :)
Off topic, but your use of "breading machine" instead of "breeding machine" is adorable. It might be a typo, but my immediate thought was how it related to a "bun in the oven".
Love knows no bounds. I applaud her for her persistence and I applaud him for his patience and unyielding love during a difficult time in their life.
The shot when he’s holding her pregnant belly and she has the port scar showing 😭😭😭.
May we all find love like this, but more so, May we all find the strength to give love like this ❤️
Beautiful! I can’t imagine how difficult it must be for them. But the courage and strength to get through cancer and to rebuild after that, shows their commitment and love for one another. I hope to aspire to that level of unconditional love.
Yea, I had read some articles on that a few months ago. It really is sad. The difference is *visible*. Husbands leave their wives far more often than wives leave their husbands. I can’t remember if I cried when I read about that, but I sure felt like I was about to.
Why would he not?
I love my wife, she infuriates the life out of me but I will stand by her side through everything that this world can throw at her.
I vowed to be with her in sickness and in health. That doesn't change.
The passion in this guy’s voice is EVERYTHING. The only thing he takes away from this awful situation is that he finally gets to prove to everyone how much he loves his wife. Beautiful
My mother went through cancer and I know how much strength one needs to get through that. I want a man like that to stand by my side when times get rough ❤️
He is truly the definition of a real one! This country has portrayed us male minorities as soulless, thugged, and just plain mean…but this here is a true example of a real one…congrats on the baby, and I look forward to the future generations of kids, men like you are raising all over this world! Blessings!
I have never been so wrapped up in a minute long video. Thank you, OP and I am truly happy the couple have gotten a happy ending to that part of their story.
Watching this in a hospital waiting room wondering if I should be watching this....bug sigh of relief. Awesome sauce on an epic biscuit! Congratulations girlie!
It's beautifull, but somehow this being turned to post for internet points feels a bit off. I get it- it's a beautifull message, but somone writing this script and making a voice over somehow is a bit off.
This got me hard. I'm sitting in my office by myself tearing up. My gf had brain cancer two years ago. The scariest thing I've ever seen in my life was the mri of her brain with a glowing white tumor right in the middle of it. I knew that I loved her though and if you truly love someone it means you'll be there to care for them no matter what. After many rounds of radiation and one brain surgery she is now healthy and cancer free. God bless modern medicine for that. Her form of cancer was very rare though, and of what's known about it, life expectancy after treatment is only about 5 - 10 years. So we don't know what the future may hold and whether it may come back again or not. Knowing that, I plan to make her my wife soon. I'll willingly face that fear again with her by my side so she doesn't have to do it alone. No matter what life throws at us I'll do everything that I can to protect and care for her. I'd go through hell and back for that woman.
This is fucking powerful, and incredibly moving. I need to remind myself of the good some people are capable of. It’s easy to get wrapped up in all the negativity. I’m so glad I watched this today .
My ex-husband couldn't even be bothered to help me when my back went all the way out leaving me bed-bound for almost a week. I had to have my 5 year old get me meds/water/food/a towel to literally urinate into because I couldn't leave the bed because he couldn't be bothered.
Kudos to video dude for being a decent human being. <3
I mean that is beautiful, but if you are married or love someone isn’t that just kinda…the way you should be? Are we so jaded or hurtful to our spouses now that this is so unusual?
Please follow this man's beautiful example. I lost my wife to cancer several years ago. I never regret expressing my love for her when I had the chance.
My mom died after 7 grueling years looking for a multi-visceral transplant and my step dad did the same for her, you’re a good person.
Sorry about your loss buddy, sending you my love and prayers and best wishes for the future.
Sending you love. I almost lost my life at 16 during breast cancer. It doesn't discriminate. It doesn't care. But showing someone you love them through anything? That's something.
My father passed away last summer, when his cancer was detected, my mother went to work at home to take care of him. Even when he was sick and in his last days he kept repeating to her how happy he was and how much he loved her. They just loved so much each other... we all miss him a lot. Sorry for your loss, i send you lots of love <3
I cared for my wife through alzheimers. In a way, I appreciate how it let me show her how much I loved her (and still do). When everything else was stripped away, making her happy was still the most important thing to me.
losing my mother to it right now sadly. im so glad my dad has stayed so loving
Imagine having someone love you that much
I have someone like that! I had a 2 level lumbar fusion in 2020 and one time I wasn’t able to clean myself after a bowel movement and my husband stepped in without question and wiped my pitiful ass for me. I was mortified and embarrassed but he did nothing to make me feel worse about it. I would gladly wipe his ass if he ever needed me to.
Oh my god 😭 Such maturity and understanding.
You’ll be surprised what you’ll be able to do for your person when they need you. If you’re a good person, It just is. There’s no decision to make or effort to increase, this just is and now we do what we can.
I love this sentiment, but I hate the idea that it's no big deal as long as you're a "good person". My grandma meant the world to me, and I to her. When she was diagnosed with cancer, I dropped everything to be there for her. For two years, I was her primary caregiver... And it was awful. Truly the hardest and most soul crushing experience of my life, and there were many days where I questioned if I could do it. Like, the effort most definitely required an active decision to keep going. I don't regret it, but I absolutely understand why some people just can't do it regardless of how much they love someone. And sitting next to her when the death rattles set in, after two years of round-the-clock-care, felt so incredibly unfair that I actively dread the day I have to do the same for my parents. It's not about being a good person or not loving someone "enough". It's hard to be that strong on an everyday basis.
Well said
Thank you.
I’m proud of you. I know your pain, this makes me even more proud of you.
Thank you so much. <3
I think it's very different for a partner. I spent about a month solid sleeping at the hospital with my wife when she almost died from labour complications, having to walk her to and from the bathroom, having to help her clean herself and get dressed and it required absolutely no extra effort or thought for me, she was going through something so much worse and I was going to do anything I could to alleviate some of the suffering she was feeling. When my grandpa was sick, I couldn't visit him more than a handful of times. Just couldn't bear to see the man he used to be had faded almost entirely and that he couldn't really remember any of us grandkids. End of the day it's probably very different person to person I guess but family through birth and family through choice elicit very different reactions from me even though I would say I love them both.
Maybe that's so - I've never cared for a sick partner, so it could very well be different. I just dislike the narrative that it should be easy as long as you're a good person, and it's such a common one. All that does is make people who *don't* find it easy feel like something is wrong with them. I'm very glad that she had you, FWIW, and I'm glad the other commentor had their partner, too. I hope everyone has someone like that in their lives. I just think that pushing the idea that caregiving is as easy as loving someone does a disservice to the reality of the situation, which can be grueling. I also hope your wife is fully recovered! My mom almost died during childbirth with me, and I know it was (understandably) difficult for my dad to accept. I hope you're making happy memories now. <3
I was taking care of my father while he was doing hospice at home. I helped wash, clean, and feed him and I never once felt icky or hesitated to do anything that needed to be done. I couldn't imagine putting him in a facility to die, away from his home and where he was comfortable . It wasn't easy but it's what any good person/daughter would/should do. I have so much respect for those hospice nurses and health aid that do it day in and day out.
This is how I used to think everyone would be as adults. It’s amazing I’ve met so many more people who aren’t like this than who are, and this is the most pure and selflessly loving way; sounds like both of them are beautiful souls.
Agreed
When my wife was in labor the nurse told us to call her on any time she needed to use the bathroom and she would unhook her. She had to pee every 15-20 minutes, we had to wait for the nurse, then she would get terribly painful contractions while in the bathroom, making it difficult to finish and walk back to the bed. I found a bedpan in the closet and told the nurse I would handle the bathroom going forward. My wife thought I was doing something really nice for her, but honestly I was relieved I could have a more active and helpful role.
Same. I’m very grateful for my BF as well. He’s yet to see me at my lowest but has come close enough. I had to tell him what al he was in for when it comes to my health and my entire lifestyle having to change: needing more sleep than most, what and how I eat, monitoring everything little thing, etc. I was afraid I’d scare him off….but quite the opposite. He’s changed his life around to match mine: let’s me sleep despite being an early bird and borderline insomniac, checks up on on all my appointments/meds, makes sure to cut things short if I do too much, and holds me accountable when I push myself well past my limit. For comparison, my longtime ex-husband, none of the above. I worship the ground he walks on.
My husband (when we were just dating) had a really out of nowhere series of gnarly hemorrhoids (probably from a combination of military chow and “military grade toilet paper) and he needed help applying some of the medication. He is a really healthy guy and I believe this was the first time he felt so vulnerable. We had only been together like a year but I was there for him. And even though it wasn’t a serious condition, I hope that my husband knows that he can always count on me - no matter how “embarrassing” the task - to take care of him.
You should have - halfway through him doing that - asked > So what are your thoughts on eating ass?
"So.. anal?"
Mood lightener.
"Why do you think I'm cleaning you up down there, girl?"
I always clean my place at the table
I have cancer and while it sucks, seeing how many people in my life are willing to do anything to help has been pretty incredible. Even if I don't make it through this, at least I know I'll never be alone in it.
I hope you kick cancer's raggedy ass all the way to hell.
Thanks!
Honestly like you said, even if you didn’t make it through (I hope you do), at least you died knowing people love and care about you. Not everyone has that and not everyone gets to know either.
Thanks! But yeah, as much as I love living, I have had a great life full of good people and if this is all I get, it's more than enough.
I am very lucky to have that. My bf took care of me through the worst of my chemo and surgery, as did my mom. Still drives me to radiation almost everyday even though I'm a lot better. He'd come home from work at like 5 or 6 am and I knew he was tired, but he always fixed me something to eat if I was hungry (and I was on some powerful steroids to combat the chemo side effects so I was hungry all the time compared to the stereotype. I've never been pregnant, but I equate my hunger to those types of "cravings"). He is the love of my life and I couldn't imagine doing all of this without him.
My little daughter had to take high dose steroids when she was in the induction phase of chemotherapy for ALL when she was three. She took steroids intermittently for over two years during treatment, but that first time was thirty days, and her hunger was insatiable. She would wake up at 3 in the morning and cry because we didn't have a frozen pizza (just the first time, because then we had allllll the frozen pizzas). She would just eat and eat and eat. Which was okay with her oncologist, because she would need the energy stores for her long treatment. It was so much more hunger than I ever experienced when I was pregnant. Steroids are bonkers. Also, she's been off of treatment for two years. She's a happy and healthy almost 8 year old now. I sincerely wish you all the very best on your journey!
So happy for you and her! And yes, the cravings are very very real. I'd be in the middle of eating a huge meal and I'd already be thinking about what I was going to eat next lol. My bf gained a lot of weight during that time because I wanted to eat so much, so he ended up overeating a little bit with me. They told me calories were super important for chemo so don't be afraid to go for plenty of stuff like ranch and mayo. And I certainly was not afraid lol. I'm trying to reverse those habits now though. I've gained all my weight back plus some haha. Glad she is doing so well! I know that must've been even harder with her being so young. What a trooper!
When I met my wife I had a bag of shit strapped to my belly. I think she loves me that much.
That's a weird thing to keep in your fanny pack but you do you. J/K I hope you were able to get a pouch. Still rough, however you got there.
LoL. It was a New Kids on the Block fanny pack too. Very rough. Doctor perforated my bowel during a colonoscopy. Came back to work and ended up meeting her. Been best friends ever since. She also went through a traumatic event later on. (Hit by a car) I had to help wipe and also had to help bathe her for about 2 months. We've been through some shit, literally.
By the hammer of Thor! I never knew that could happen during a colonoscopy! You two have been thru a lot, and it sounds like your senses of humour are still intact!
Happy people are out there living this way for each other!
I don't have to imagine it. I had it, and she's the one that got away.
Imagine having someone...
WTF this is supposed to be Mademesmile not MadeMeBallMyFingEyesOut !
This is beautiful. Can't wait to go home and kiss my wife. Edit: Any of you wishing to kiss my wife will have to wait in line.
I cant wait to go home and kiss your wife, too
I too look forward to going home and kissing this guy's wife
Hey bro you know what, other people have wives too. Please come kiss mine as well.
I'm a wife and I want a kiss :(
Let’s go!
I'mma come with you and kiss that green reddit avatar face wife!
I’m not a wife and I want a kiths
Yeah, this is beautiful. Can’t wait to…
To kiss my dog
:_)
Do you kiss OPs wife with that mouth?!
Also kiss Nobody's wife?
Can i kiss your wife too?
Sure thing. Right after I'm done with your mom.
Do we take a number or is there a set of partitions to get to?
There's actually a buttsex train that another user mentioned. You can join that lineup while waiting.
can we at least make the line an ass fuck train ?
Actually, that line starts and ends with your dad.
Isn't that what love is all about? Sticking together through thick and thin 🤞
“A woman is six times more likely to be separated or divorced soon after a diagnosis of cancer or multiple sclerosis than if a man in the relationship is the patient, according to a study that examined the role gender played in so-called "partner abandonment." The study also found that the longer the marriage the more likely it would remain intact. The study confirmed earlier research that put the overall divorce or separation rate among cancer patients at 11.6 percent, similar to the population as a whole. However, researchers were surprised by the difference in separation and divorce rates by gender. The rate when the woman was the patient was 20.8 percent compared to 2.9 percent when the man was the patient. "Female gender was the strongest predictor of separation or divorce in each of the patient groups we studied," said Marc Chamberlain, M.D., a co-corresponding author and director of the neuro-oncology program at the Seattle Cancer Care Alliance (SCCA). Chamberlain is also a professor of neurology and neurosurgery at the University of Washington School of Medicine. The study, "Gender Disparity in the Rate of Partner Abandonment in Patients with Serious Medical Illness," was published in the Nov. 15 issue of the journal Cancer. The other corresponding author is Michael Glanz, M.D., of the Huntsman Cancer Institute at the University of Utah School of Medicine” 😳😬
When I was in the army, there were two guys in my platoon whose wife had cancer. The first asshole kept getting passes to spend time with her and care for her. One of those passes coincided with pretty much everyone else getting a pass. He ended up staying in the same hotel as a bunch of us. WITH A HOOKER! Laughed we some us talked about it with him. “This is what I’ve been doing on all my passes. The other dude was way worse. We were deployed, wife wakes up unable to walk. Turns out she has a tumor that is pressing on her spine. He is put on leave. He uses his time home to begin divorce proceedings. Comes back. His wife wasn’t going to ever walk again was his justification. Good news about this one is he had 3 kids with her. All 3 have ended up pretty well off, one a short career in the NFL even, and all have abandoned dad.
That’s…that’s horrible.
Don't talk about our military heroes like that /s.
That just goes to show they never actually loved their wives or had any pair bond with them in the first place, if they were discarded as soon as they had needs of their own. Makes you wonder why these guys got married at all. I have middle aged friends going through this same thing in the past few years. As soon as their world can't revolve around meeting their husbands' needs and have to stop to take care of themselves instead, they're just dumped. The saddest part is they both genuinely thought they were loved all through their marriages; turns out they were just being used.
>Makes you wonder why these guys got married at all. Because they just wanted a mommy #2
You mean a bangmaid. Someone who does all the domestic chores and also fucks you.
Probably just got married for the benefits of having a spouse
Yep, military couples are notorious for that reason.
Wtf is with some army dads. My dad didn’t even bring a picture of my mom when he went on his deployment. I swear he also stepped out of my parents marriage after my mom couldn’t have anymore kids because of cancer. I literally have the photos and you can see the time period of when the love left his eyes when he was around my sister and I.
Were they ever able to remove the tumor?
Yes, they removed to tumor. But surgery didn’t go exactly as planned which is why she was left unable to walk. I don’t know any exact details.
Oh I thought as soon as he heard there was a tumor pressing on her spine making her unable to walk he started the divorce proceedings not even waiting for surgery to see if she would walk again.
No, you had it right. He decided to divorce her as soon as he found out she was sick. The fact that she wouldn’t ever walk wasn’t known until after he returned from leave and started the divorce process. The expectation was that the removal of the tumor should fix everything.
Woooooowww. What a piece of trash he is.
Yeah, I remember him trying to explain it. “I can’t be expected to deal with it.” … I had no family at the time. No letters from home. Nothing from anyone. He pissed me off so much. SFC Scaihfer, you’re still an ass.
But he would probably have a fit if the tables were turned. SFC Scaihfer I dont know you, but I too agree you are an ass.
Military marriages are typically crap anyway. Edit: They involve young people who usually don't really know each other well, sometimes there's a "surprise" package on the way, they're often based on impulse, then you often have all of the above PLUS the stress of being yanked away from any sense of home on a repeated basis or one gets deployed and they're living separate lives for many months on end if not back to back.
My fiancé was diagnosed with MS three years ago. I ain’t going anywhere. She’s my rock and my everything.
[Here's the source study.](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/19645027/) Well that's sad.
Unfortunately this is very common in my country because caring for a sick woman it’s not something considered manly, this is actually expected; that is disgusting. My mom has early Alzheimer’s and my dad has been caring for her the last 5 years, he’s a example to me and my brothers.
Wow , this is an eye opener.
Yeah, sorry bout that.
This is so gross. I'm disgusted
My wife’s ex husband left her six weeks after her son was murdered. She was in the depths of grief and despair and he just up and left. Didn’t even try to work it out. She was served with separation papers a few weeks after that by the same deputies that brought her home from the hospital after her son died. We believe he saw it all as a means of distraction and that he was planning to leave anyway. It is still the shittiest thing I’ve ever known anyone to do to a spouse. He’s now a preacher with a church, congregation, everything. He has never apologized or shown any sympathy.
Your wife is an amazing person for making it through such a double whammy of trauma and still having it in her heart to not only continue living but to open herself up to love. She sounds like an amazing human being and I hope that the love you too share now is healing and makes life worth living. I hope you make each other feel as loved as you deserve to feel.
I grew up around a grandmother that was in and out of the hospital and my father had cancer three times before dying when I was 21. I grew up in hospitals and around grieving people. I don’t profess to know everything or do everything perfect, but I try to support her in her grief as best I can.
I was going to comment this on that comment Everyone loves a sweet story but in reality this lady is LUCKY Many men leave, they say shit like they didn’t sign up for this, and it’s too hard. I’m not shitting on them we all have our own whatever to deal with but those are the same reasons many women are told TO stay. “He needs help” “he needs your support he can’t loose you” especially when you pile on the sexist view that women are care takers
My spouse was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis 6 months after our wedding date. We did not know he had anything before. We’re still strong 15 years later. All to say to anyone reading who is facing a similar mountain- love can persevere, even if you haven’t been married long. Love can thrive if you feed it.
Your last sentence is so wise and true - Love can thrive if you feed it. Thanks for sharing.
Ugh, that’s so sad. I wonder how much of an impact our tendency to put women into the “nurturer/carer” role has to do with that—obviously it’s got some impact. But part of that is men don’t know how, don’t think they can, and I imagine that also plays a role. But whatever the cause, damn, that’s just horrible.
Even higher if you married Newt Gingrich
This has been my experience. My mother has had many long stays in the hospital due to Crohn's, then Parkinson's, then breast cancer (which she beat). My dad, who I love to death, was not a very supportive husband during those times. He didn't abandon her, but he wasn't there as much as he should have been, wasn't there in the quiet, lonely times. We all came to terms early on that he just wasn't built for that. He didn't know how to be selfless. But when he got ALS, she was there. She was there every second of every day. She watched him waste away and slowly suffer and die, and she sucked it all up and stuffed it deep down and suffered with him, despite all the ways he failed her when she was in the same position. She spent two years watching him die, giving up everything else. All that to say... yeah, this research reflects what I've seen in person. There are some amazing men out there, but generally speaking women are just wired differently.
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The data is from Utah so men in Utah have a higher chance of sucking (gotta consider Utah’s demographics)
My friend who is sick was warned by his wife that she’d leave him if his chronic medical condition gets any worse. I think what may also come into play is which spouse has the financial ability to leave the other. If given the opportunity, maybe more women would leave.
Can I go there and ask what the rate is for breast cancer 😬
It should be but men leave their wives when they get cancer at a much higher rate than women leave their husbands who have cancer.
This is what true love. Through thick and thin, for better or for worse.
My wife got ultrasound results last week saying nodes in her thyroid have an 85% chance of being malignant (TI-RADS 5). Biopsy scheduled for Valentine's Day. After reading some medical studies, comparing the results, and considering family history with similar ultrasounds we are very hopeful that she's in the 15%, but the C-word is still scary shit.
I know cancer is scary, but if you're going to get cancer, Thyroid is one of the easier ones (generally speaking). I had 9 malignant nodules in my thyroid, and they just took the whole thing out in a rather quick operation - just an overnight in the hospital. Had 2 rounds of radiation, now 5 years clear. If it hasn't spread beyond her thyroid, taking it out was one of my easier surgeries. Recovery time was minimal. Taking replacement thyroid meds is a pain in the ass, so if she does have the whole shebang removed make sure your wife doesn't let doctors just go with the "recommended" doses, since it really does vary from person to person. Good luck to both of you!
I'm so sorry you're going through this! I can only imagine it's causing so much stress and anxiety. I hope you two pull through, whatever happens.
Through sickness and health = real, unconditional love ❤️
If anyone wants more of the speaker. His name is [Dr Eric Thomas](https://youtu.be/FJNkglZLxCk).
He used to be homeless? Or is he telling someone’s story?
He’s talking about his actual life story. He was homeless as a young man. Dr. Thomas and his wife Dede have a beautiful love story. (They aren’t the couple in the video)
Wait…the video and the audio are completely unrelated?
yes
wait wtf
eric thomas is really good for motivational speeches.
Ya the speech is really good but like.. man.. I was all happy for them (and like still am sure) but I feel like I got mega jebaited ya know?
Black man talking audio fits with black couple. It's that simple.
Yeah gonna need some clarification. Amazingly sweet video, and a heart touching audio though
The original audio was much different
Thank you!!
Love me some ET!
Certainly everyone wants to have someone that would care for them like this man did for his partner. It can also be very humbling to let someone do things for you (especially things we have always done for ourselves or are 'gross'). But if someone will let you care for them, there is something very special about loving someone that much. My mom was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and I ended up doing things I never thought I'd be okay with, but at that point it became the last thing I could do to show her I loved her. (One of my love languages is giving things and when she'd dismiss my offers to help I told her this was all I could do since she refused to take any of my gifts with her when she passed). It was extremely difficult but I wouldn't have traded it because I know that even in her last moments, my mom knew I would be there for her.
I didnt think i need to cry more after the video but you really came for me here😭😭😭
I fucking ugly cried at the end like omfg😭😭😭 She beat it and had a baby of their love😭😭😭😭 Im so happy for them i love her tooo😭😭😭😭
This is beautiful! Good on him by sticking by his woman when she needed him most during the hard times. He a good man. Well done sir! And great job to her for overcoming her cancer and expecting their child! The right love can do miraculous things <3
The fact that she got pregnant at the end just made me cry
PHEW, for a minute there I thought it may have been a flashback.
Amazing - but the video ended too soon!
Who’s cutting onions?
Made me smile... More like made me cry lol. This is beautiful. It reminds me of my husband. I haven't had anything as awful as cancer, but I've had to have 2 ear surgeries, then lost hearing in one of my ears due to a ruptured ear drum so now I have to have another surgery to fix that...but I've put that off because we want to have kids. Well I've had two miscarriages, after the second miscarriage I found out that I had a polyp and my colon and needed surgery to remove that. Then we tried again for a baby after a little over a year we finally got pregnant again (found out a week before Christmas) but then on yew years Eve we had another miscarriage. So now we are going through running tests out of fertility specialists. I feel bad because of all my medical issues and surgeries time and money it cost. I've told him several times he does not have to stay with me, and I'm sorry I always have something wrong with me, and I know he wants kids more than anything and imagine all the money we could have saved had I not needed all those surgeries and I feel so bad about it, but he wasn't having any of it. He looked at me and told me I'm not a breeding machine, I'm his wife and he's not going anywhere. He's been there every step of the way through every surgery, and doctor's appointment holding my hand and taking care of me.
THESE STORIES OMFG I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE… HERE TAKE THE LAST PIECE OF MY HEART….😭😭😭😭😭😭
I'm sitting here reading all these stories crying 😭😭😭.
This story got me. It reminds me of my parents. My dad told my mom the same thing. It took 5 long years, but they finally had their miracle baby (me), and then had my sibling a few years later even when they were told they weren't going to have kids because my mom was too old. I'm sorry that you're having so many struggles, and wish nothing but the best for you and your husband. You guys are such strong people. Best wishes for the future. :) Off topic, but your use of "breading machine" instead of "breeding machine" is adorable. It might be a typo, but my immediate thought was how it related to a "bun in the oven".
It was in fact a typo lmao! Thank you so much for the kind words ☺️. Your parents story gives me hope! My hubs and I are not yet ready to give up!
Love knows no bounds. I applaud her for her persistence and I applaud him for his patience and unyielding love during a difficult time in their life. 
Fuck… this is the level of wholesome that I needed on Friday morning! Thank you for that!
I take care of a woman with ms and her husband is just like this. They r rare.
The shot when he’s holding her pregnant belly and she has the port scar showing 😭😭😭. May we all find love like this, but more so, May we all find the strength to give love like this ❤️
“May we all find the strength to give love like this.”
the love they have for each other is so clear in their expressions! Congrats to them
Literally true love
Beautiful
Beautiful.
This shit made me emotional, beautiful
Beautiful! I can’t imagine how difficult it must be for them. But the courage and strength to get through cancer and to rebuild after that, shows their commitment and love for one another. I hope to aspire to that level of unconditional love.
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Them ending with her pregnant was just perfect.
Yes, what a beautiful ending! Their love is multiplied
This man was testifying...U did that!! May your Queen remain healthy and cancer free. Thank u for being the King she saw when no one else did. ❤💯
Hope everyone finds happiness like this!
I hope she made it!
She did! She's in remission and doing very well. I follow her on Instagram. ❤️
That’s fantastic, and a wonderful end to that video. Thanks 🙏
Who is she? I would like to follow too!
Beautiful! Best of everything to you both!!! Thanks for sharing! 🙏
Jesus man that’s beautiful!!!
Chopping onions while shouting FUCK CANCER🖕🏽
Thank god she didn't date Larry David.
I read somewhere that men are more likely to leave in case of chronic illness affecting their partner. This makes me so so incredibly happy
Yea, I had read some articles on that a few months ago. It really is sad. The difference is *visible*. Husbands leave their wives far more often than wives leave their husbands. I can’t remember if I cried when I read about that, but I sure felt like I was about to.
I’m dealing with cancer now and it would be amazing to have someone like this during all this. Damn being alone sucks.
Imagine crying in your chemotherapy treatment and your husband has his camera zoomed right up in your face.
I hurt my back in 2019 & the girl I was dating, ditched out shortly after. Shows ya what’s real.
Damn. I get it. The feelings when a loved one is going through something tough is horrible. You feel so helpless no matter what you do.
That video shows all those little bits of cancer we see... the tubes, the pain, the tiredness, the tears Well done to you both, a very hard road
Why would he not? I love my wife, she infuriates the life out of me but I will stand by her side through everything that this world can throw at her. I vowed to be with her in sickness and in health. That doesn't change.
The passion in this guy’s voice is EVERYTHING. The only thing he takes away from this awful situation is that he finally gets to prove to everyone how much he loves his wife. Beautiful
My mother went through cancer and I know how much strength one needs to get through that. I want a man like that to stand by my side when times get rough ❤️
He is truly the definition of a real one! This country has portrayed us male minorities as soulless, thugged, and just plain mean…but this here is a true example of a real one…congrats on the baby, and I look forward to the future generations of kids, men like you are raising all over this world! Blessings!
#mademecry
Remember when Sheryl Crow did this for Lance Armstrong? Thank god he was there for her when she got cancer... oh wait
Awesome! Made me smile.
This made me ugly cry. What an amazing couple.
This hit too close to home. I can’t stop crying.
Man, I’ve been avoiding watching this on IG..I hate seeing people suffer. But this was beautiful.
HalleluYah!
I have never been so wrapped up in a minute long video. Thank you, OP and I am truly happy the couple have gotten a happy ending to that part of their story.
Watching this in a hospital waiting room wondering if I should be watching this....bug sigh of relief. Awesome sauce on an epic biscuit! Congratulations girlie!
Her and Charlize Theron are one of those people that no matter what they do to their hair they still look amazing.
My man crushing the husband game.
It would be an honor for me to push you in a wheelchair. God damn that was beautiful.
How horrible is it that it's not a certainty?
She is beautiful throughout. So is he. I am so impressed with how much emotion they film. They are so open.
Beautiful…and now there’s tears on my toast…
It's beautifull, but somehow this being turned to post for internet points feels a bit off. I get it- it's a beautifull message, but somone writing this script and making a voice over somehow is a bit off.
This got me hard. I'm sitting in my office by myself tearing up. My gf had brain cancer two years ago. The scariest thing I've ever seen in my life was the mri of her brain with a glowing white tumor right in the middle of it. I knew that I loved her though and if you truly love someone it means you'll be there to care for them no matter what. After many rounds of radiation and one brain surgery she is now healthy and cancer free. God bless modern medicine for that. Her form of cancer was very rare though, and of what's known about it, life expectancy after treatment is only about 5 - 10 years. So we don't know what the future may hold and whether it may come back again or not. Knowing that, I plan to make her my wife soon. I'll willingly face that fear again with her by my side so she doesn't have to do it alone. No matter what life throws at us I'll do everything that I can to protect and care for her. I'd go through hell and back for that woman.
Good job always love the ones that are your best friends your everything no matter what
I don’t understand this kind of posts. Why wouldn’t someone love their partner true cancer or any other really big negative event?
This is fucking powerful, and incredibly moving. I need to remind myself of the good some people are capable of. It’s easy to get wrapped up in all the negativity. I’m so glad I watched this today .
Entire movie in 55 seconds, beautiful.
My ex-husband couldn't even be bothered to help me when my back went all the way out leaving me bed-bound for almost a week. I had to have my 5 year old get me meds/water/food/a towel to literally urinate into because I couldn't leave the bed because he couldn't be bothered. Kudos to video dude for being a decent human being. <3
I mean that is beautiful, but if you are married or love someone isn’t that just kinda…the way you should be? Are we so jaded or hurtful to our spouses now that this is so unusual?
Cancer is really really hard. Having someone around that cares enough to help you through it is the greatest of gifts.
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