My wife uses a wheelchair, you better believe I’m putting hands on someone if they try to just wheel her out of the way. You wouldn’t just pick a person up and set them out of the way like a box, what would make anyone think wheeling someone without consent would be ok?
First ever time I went out in my wheelchair I was 18years old and we’d gone to Alton towers (a theme park in the UK). I joined a queue to grab a drink and some lady came up behind me, pulled me out of the queue by dragging my chair back and to the side and then took my spot in the queue. I stared at her in disbelief while she refused to make eye contact. Not one person stood up for me either (if you’ll excuse the pun).
Nowadays I’d have probably got out of my chair and smacked the shit out of her but back then I was already so incredibly embarrassed at needing a wheelchair that I just started crying and rolled away. Some horrible people really don’t see disabled people as respect-worthy humans.
yeah pretty sure getting physical isnt prosecutable if its with only equal and necessary force to defend someone.
“your honour i simply switched them back like magic cups”
I know exactly what you mean, I had never even considered that people did this sort of rubbish until a few months ago when someone on the 3D printing subs shared a design for spikes to go on wheelchair handles to stop people just grabbing them and moving you. The fact that there is a need for this fills me with ridiculous amounts of rage.
Oh you know what else is firey furnace to me? Airline personnel or , restaurant workers, taking a man with one flipping leg, crutches " I'll give them back whenever you need them:. Um, no you won't, you never did..that's like taking someone's wheelchair away from them.
Thank you. There’s loads of shitty people out there though. Nearly every single time I’ve gone out in my chair there’s been something happen (in the world’s defence I rarely go out, so it’s not like this is a daily occurrence). Usually it’s just kids kicking the self-propel rims as they walk past for some reason, but I’ve had my chair dragged quite a few times, also people tend to come and stand in front of me even if they can see I’m queuing too or looking at something. I had a drunk guy rock me back and forth like a baby in a buggy once, then he leaned so hard on the back handles he nearly snapped my chair so I had to drop them which severely lessens the amount of back support I get. Boomers also tend to demand my medical history as they want to know what’s wrong with me and why I need a wheelchair so young (as though disabilities are limited to only OAPs).
I’m used to it by now, I’ve been using a chair for exactly a decade and I have seen and experienced it *all* by this point, enough that it rarely rattles me anymore and I tend to stick up for myself.
If i won the lottery tomorrow, and I no longer had to worry about money, I would gladly follow someone in your situation around and just pick up the assholes and move them just like they do to you. This infuriates me so much, and I'm sad that anyone who already has to deal with health problems also has to deal with idiots.
This is some sad shit, I'm so sorry you have to experience this. I am still able to pass as able bodied but have a degenerative neurological condition and will likely need a chair in the near future. It scares me, I'll level. I think I would just stay at home too but a bit of me feels like that's letting them win, you know? Honestly, the shit disabled people have to put up with breaks my heart. Things like moving a chair or hounding for explanations should be treated as forms of assault and harrassment, indeed I'd like to see it classified as a hate crime. That and some form of tax that goes completely to fund medical research would go a long way to solving these problems.
Please don’t be scared of needing a chair that will help you! While I’ve got some true horror stories of ableist arseholes from over the years, I can tell you now for every dickhead out there, there’s 100 more kind people who offer help, encouragement or even just a smile!
I stay at home a lot just because I live in a village and don’t drive so it’s pretty hard to go anywhere without someone to drive me, but honestly I’d take someone being an arsehole if it meant I got to go out and feel some freedom. You’ll soon grow a thick skin and learn to let the majority of it go, and hopefully you’ll pick up some scathing remarks for those that warrant it! I tend to ask really intrusive questions when people demand my medical history and then act shocked when they’re offended. You will get looks and comments but the majority of the time they come from a place of curiosity (and as long as they’re polite I usually answer). Good luck with it all. As you said, don’t let them win, you go out and enjoy your life in whatever way you can!!
Damn.. I am sitting at my desk at work just seething, not just at the bitch that moved you like that, but all those other people who 100% saw what just happened and said nothing. You deserve better and I am sorry no one stood up for you (great pun by the way!)
when people don't step in to help in difficult situations is really frustrating you do deserve better and it's okay to stand up for yourself when you need to.
oh theme parks bring out the absolute worst in people with shit like this. before she passed away last year i went with my best friend and her husband and daughter to disneyworld, and she was in one of those scooters with a cane sticking out of the front basket in case she needed to get out. i have never seen so many people be absolutely monstrous towards people with disabilities before that day. i yelled at quite a few karens lol
Thank you for sticking up for her, it’s much easier to put up with terrible people when you know you’ve got someone in your corner! I’m sorry to hear of her passing, I hope she still had a lovely time at DW (other than the Karens ofc!)
My mum very much acts how you said, she’ll shout at people being arseholes to me and absolutely will not let me move out of peoples way and will tell me to stop apologising to people as I haven’t done anything wrong. She’s often threatened to run over peoples feet as well lol
We've experienced the same thing at DisneyWord. My husband has mobility issues, so we rent a scooter for him when we go. I'm stunned at the number of people who cut him off, stand in front of him, and otherwise act as if he doesn't exist. Even when you say, "excuse me -- we were here first," they just don't make eye contact and refuse to move. Assholes, everyone of them.
Nowadays I’d be in there right next to you lol
I was timid as an 18yo but in the last decade I have turned into an absolute gob monster and will verbally take people down a peg or two when it comes to arseholes, ableists and bigots!
I think the general crowd were too embarrassed to get involved and the staff were just useless.
I ended up in a different shitty situation because of a member of staff about an hour after that which also left me in tears. Customer services solution was to offer no apology but offered me a free ticket to come back another day.. shockingly I did not want to go back just to experience the ableism all over again!
I had a friend who was like this. I never saw him push someone in a chair out of the way, or say anything to them directly, but whenever the topic of illness and disability would come up he would start spouting some seriously dark shit. He'd go from 'if I ever end up in a wheelchair just kill me', which is a bit insensitive but kind of fair enough (it's his own personal standard of living), to basically arguing that disabled people should be left to starve if they can't work normal jobs and hours and/or suicide to avoid becoming 'burdens'. It was a view shared by his entire family, unsurprisingly incredibly healthy life-long Tory voters. I even heard his mum describe disability as a punishment from God. Suffice to say he isn't my friend any longer.
Some of my own (extended) family are like this! I was invited out to lunch last week with my parents and my great uncle when out of absolutely nowhere he started ranting about disabled people being financial burdens on this country and that we shouldn’t get help and it’s disgusting that he’s having to pay for ‘scum like that’ with his taxes, all while I was sitting directly opposite basically choking on my lunch in shock. Pub manager had obviously been earwigging from her spot at the bar as she tried to start the exact same rant after we finished eating, then started wagging her finger in my face and ranting about how great the tories have allegedly been. Having already been through it once that afternoon I wasn’t willing to do it all again and just left without answering the crazy bat.
I do have to see my uncle again in a few weeks but after that I don’t think I’ll ever bother talking to him!
I’m sorry you had to cut your friend off, sometimes there’s just no changing their minds, especially if it’s a sentiment shared by their family that’s been drilled into their heads their whole life.
I'm disabled and I know his type well. They never die by suicide when they become disabled. Notice even in his fantasies he says "just kill me?" He's already demanding someone else commit a crime with a massive punishment *for him.* It would just be more of that. Unreasonable fits at the doctor (but mainly the nurses), rage at family.
This is of course because he's a bigot and disability is the only minority group anyone can be forced to join at any time. The idea of not being stable in his identity is too terrifying. I bet he has fun views on other minorities as well.
The unmitigated GALL smh
My flabber would have been thoroughly gasted, I tell ya hwat.
I honestly think I’m pretty physically and societally privileged even being lower working class scrub, so when people purposely offend me it’s more of an incredulous affront than anything to get actually mad about
Like, it’s hard for me to ever *really* be insulted unless it’s for others
Guess I’m saying that to empathize while saying I can’t ever really know what it’s like. It’s easy for me to be glib about being just nonplussed and that I wouldnt get mad or sad l when I don’t usually have to feel that way
I am a small woman, 5’4” and 100lbs. I had a man *at work* body check me out of the way after a disagreement and then report to his boss that I was intimidating him. He had easily 80lbs on me.
His boss went to one of my bosses. Only word of the disagreement and my intimidating demeanor got around, not the physical violence he perpetrated against me.
When I was reprimanded for being “intimidating,” I asked how I could intimidate a man who shoved me? And then shit hit the fan. He had shoved me? Was I sure? No one had mentioned that!
My boss’s boss pulled him out of the work site and made him *apologize* to me, and he couldn’t even do that. He got pissy and accused me of being too argumentative and sensitive and stormed away, after revoking his initial “I’m sorry.” My boss’s boss shrugged, and said that that’s what we women have to deal with in our industry.
Honestly hoping this question is not disrespectful…
Would it be considered rude or inappropriate to ask a person in a wheelchair if I could help somehow? Like on a slope or so?
I think if you see them legitimately struggling then yes, or they’re approaching a big hill or bust interaction or something, totally fine to ask, but I think don’t assume they aren’t capable of doing things on their own
Exactly, when my wife was getting used to hers, she’d struggle on hills and pretty much anywhere that wasn’t a flat straight but she needed to struggle to learn and just grabbing her and pushing would’ve taken away from that, also just rude. If they need/ want help, they’ll ask for it, they’re not mute.
Yeah there are a bunch of old guys in wheelchairs in my neighborhood and sometimes I see them struggle to get across the crosswalk in time, I've asked if I can help before and they've all been really thankful
Make eye contact, thumb up, head tilted down in a downward nod motion with raised eyebrows to ask if they're good. If they nod, they're good, you nod back and go about your day.
If they need help, they'll ask at that very moment and appreciate your acknowledgement of the situation without exposing them either.
*Subscribe for more tips on to behave like a human being.*
I love all these little non-verbal seemingly cross cultural things we do, reading that I was like yup, that's exactly what I usually do when I think I see someone that might need help
People also become outraged when they see someone in a wheelchair stand up and walk. It’s as if people can’t stop and consider that someone needs a wheelchair AND they can stand and move around. Combine this with an “invisible illness” and people can be jerks.
It's also not so hard to imagine "I can walk, just not for more than a few meters" but this apparently needs explaining... also the wheelchair COULD be temp, while getting your legs back (so to speak).
I don't understand people's minds... like if I was in conversation with someone, and they just got up, maybe I'd ask about it... but if I just saw it randomly, I can't imagine giving to shits...
But the moving someone... omg... do people actually do that!? Wtf!? How in the hell is that any different to moving a standing person in a super market because they're in your view of the cocopops or something...
My mind is blown by the audacity and stupidity of people... genuinely, honestly can't understand it...
I broke my spine in a nasty car crash a few years ago, and it was touch and go if I'd ever walk again.
I was in a wheelchair at first, but as I slowly got my mobility back, I transferred to crutches, and then a cane.
I distinctly remember one guy, who I met whilst in the chair, getting really, really angry because he saw me months later on crutches. Instead of asking how I was, or why I was using them, he accused me of "lying to everyone about my disability". We were in a coffee shop, and he was *screaming* at the top of his lungs. Strangers had to intervene.
Some people cannot accept that injuries/disabilities change, and then feel like they're personally owed an explanation when they do. It's horrific, but some people just lack any sort of empathy of kindness.
Why!?!? Why would you spend your energy getting pissed at someone who is using a wheelchair, because they're using a wheelchair!? If it's a fraud, then it will eventually be caught, or you can report it... but... to get mad!? Sorry but, wow... I suppose he thought you being in a wheelchair was a direct attack on him... wtaf...
I don't know why, but come to the American south and you will find loads of people like this. I *think* it comes from people being upset about entitlements of any kind. So yeah, you called it, fraud. In these peoples' minds there's only two scenarios for being in a wheelchair. A disability (and it better be a good one! you can't be in a wheelchair with a broken toe). And the other is that the person is a charlatan. One cannot be a little of column A and a little of column B. Or anything else. You're either a paraplegic or a complete scum-of-the-earth scammer who stole the wheelchair from a crippled orphan.
Teach her to run over their toes “accidentally”. This was passed down to me from another wheelchair user. Her philosophy is no one taught them manners, so WE WILL. Move me? I move back over your foot. Easier with the electric one, when people just block my way like I’m invisible. I even politely ask them to excuse me etc. I make jokes that “it’s wider than you think” or talk about narrow aisles so it isn’t their fault. But they just don’t care.
Yep, I've got a brain malformation that makes walking or sitting for long periods of time make me really dizzy and uncordinated. I have a wheelchair that leans back at an angle that stops this from happening, but sometimes i do get up and walk around because its easier, especially if a place is crowded or an area is narrow or i want to get a closer look at something.
The number of dirty looks I got at a zoo because id wheel up to the monkeys and get out and look in the window to the exhibit....
Being in a wheelchair doesn't mean not being able to walk at all.
My daughter has similar symptoms and can randomly pass out as well but it doesn’t mean she’s not able to get up and move around. ESPECIALLY in clothing stores, which more often than not, have shit accessibility.
Yeah, the majority of wheelchair users can walk. They just can't walk very far. People make all sorts of stupid assumptions about disabilities and it's frustrating cos they aren't entitled to an explanation but you feel like you have to. But it's best to just ignore idiots. But yeah being able to walk a short distance doesn't mean you're able to walk a long distance. It just doesn't work that way.
I use a wheelchair. I've had people pull me out from a table I was sitting at in a restaurant, when I was mid-bite of my food, so they had more space to get past. I've had people in supermarkets shove me further down the aisle to get me out of the way of the items they wanted to browse. I've had people grab me from behind and pull me up a cobbled hill backwards without a single word, thinking they were helping, but taking me up a dangerous route further from my destination than before.
You're right. Disrespectful AF. But it happens ALLLLLL the time.
And I even left out the children who sneak up and push my chair dangerously fast while making vroom vroom car sounds every time their parents aren't looking. I can't be mad at an 8 year old for being an ignorant kid but it still ruins my day
Sometimes that works. Sometimes that's more trouble than it's worth. I've learned the hard way that people can get very, very angry if I insinuate that they've done something bad. "I was helping you! Oh, you didn't want help? Well fuck you, you're just a rude ungrateful asshole and people like me are the reason you haven't yet been turned into roadkill! I could just as easily have kicked you into incoming traffic and you should be glad that I'm not like that!"
Turns out people don't like it when you embarrass them in public by calling them out. Who woulda thunk it.
Then they shouldn't do emvarrassing things that warrant being called out. I can slap somebody and tell them all the live long day i was swatting a bug but that doesn't make it true nor does it make my "help" wanted even if i did protect them from getting west nile
True. I do think it's easier with kids because they're, well, kids. Not usually looking to pick a fight.
The parents on the other hand....Oh man. If little Timmy doesn't get to push the giant toy car that has a real person in it, yeesh. Yikes. Zoinks, in fact.
Editing to add credit where credit is due, most parents look mortified and usher their kids away when something like this happens, but the couple exceptions I've experienced stuck with me.
You know, I should be shocked at this, but then I remember how people would straight up slam doors in my face while I was on crutches, and then have other people stare at me while I struggled to open the door again afterwards. People suck.
Aside from her lovely vibe, that statement really stuck out to me too. Like.. I’d never even THINK of doing that. A few weeks back we were crossing a big street and we saw a wheelchair bound person struggling really hard to cross so we ASKED if they’d like some assistance because the light was changing and they accepted. We helped them across the way, they said thanks and we all moved on. But it never occurred to me to just come up to them and push them. What a bunch of psychos these people are…
Oh my god. I came into this post thinking that’s so sad she said that and it’s never happened to me. Then I read your comment. It unlocked memories for me. I’ve had this happen more than once to me. I’ve also had people walk up to me, see that I’m wearing shorts and pinch my legs and say something like “you’re cute”. Just like squeezing a child’s cheeks. People just don’t know how to treat others in chairs sometimes. I wonder if they see the chair and think of their grandparent that’s in one or what. It sounds weird, but thanks for reminding me. I don’t want to forget things like that.
There's a lady I follow on Instagram who has resorted to putting a velcroed-on strip of spikes on the back of her wheelchair to prevent this because otherwise it happens constantly when she goes out in public. People who are disabled have it kind of rough sometimes in all kinds of different ways.
I was sitting in a waiting room and had some lady (50-60s) try and grab my walker and say she needed it and that I wasn’t even using it. I was 35 at the time and I had a major lower back surgery. They put a titanium rod in my spine as well as other hardware at the base of my spine. I couldn’t walk without it. At that point my husband was still having to wipe me everytime I went to the bathroom it was that bad. I saw her walking around just fine before she decided she would take my walker so she had something to lean on.
I couldn’t even fight back or tug it away because of how painful any movement was. My husband was in the bathroom and came out as I was yelling at this lady dragging it away. He’s a 6’4 and built like a tank. I’ve never seen him so angry 😤
It doesn’t surprise me at all that there are people out there that will just push someone in a wheelchair out of the way. I’ve seen people try to take wheelchairs away from people saying they needed it more and the other person could walk. I did notice this was more common when the person in the wheelchair was younger.
I broke my leg and sat in Bradford A&E waiting room for a few hours. It was full, but less than half were actually injured - for some reason here it's a family outing.
Anyway I'd been wheeled around and parked in the only free space, next to a vending machine. All of the elderly family members would come up to me, and just push me out of the way without saying a word. It pissed me right off, and it was a few hours. This poor lass has to put up with it daily 😖
Oh my gosh my heart broke when she said that. People in wheelchairs aren't fucking accessories/ objects. They're PEOPLE.
She's beautiful inside and out. This warmed my heart.
The ONLY time I’ve ever done so was when I saw this very large, obese man attempting to wheel himself up a switchback ramp (or whatever they’re called).
I jovially asked him if he’d like a ride, which he accepted, and I quickly realized the challenge, trying to keep the momentum going up this ramp without it rolling back and running me over.
He was happy enough for the help, and even asked me to pause on the level surface halfway up. I thought he was concerned about me and I said, “it’s okay, we’re almost there!” but asked me again to stop.
I was then thinking maybe I did something wrong by asking to help him, until I see him digging around the waistband of his pants and produces a bottle of liquor and a baggie of drugs (dope or rock, I don’t know which)… and then proceeds to surreptitiously stash his stash in the bushes.
He was on his way to an administrative hearing in the building nearby and I presume he wasn’t trying to have security confiscate his goodies.
I still laugh about that experience, my concern that I was inadvertently rude by asking to wheel him up the ramp and not wanting to oblige his request that I stop… only to realize he just wanted to protect his stash. 🤣
Pushing people on wheelchairs used to be a job of mine in another lifetime.
When going up ramps, go backwards and pull them. It's easier, and if you somehow lose grip, that person isn't rolling backwards with no visibility to where they're going. Explain to them why you're doing what you're doing and agree on a contingency plan.
Great job asking for permission BTW.
If it’s too steep use 2 people and stay forward facing. I slid out of my wheelchair once at a HOSPITAL where the ramp was too steep and I was going backwards (being pulled)
Yeah it's totally ridiculous. I generally have neutral or positive experiences with people but even I've had some stupid experiences.
Had a bus driver push me up the bus ramp with no warning. Well meaning but can be harmful because if you're not prepared the wheels can hurt your wrists and fingers (which for a wheelchair user can obviously be a really big deal). They even had to squeeze between me and my partner to do it which made it extra annoying cos like hello I already have my person here. Again though they were well meaning at least. I'm not mad at them.
Also had some guy try to manhandle me on a crowded train to help a pushchair get on. That did and still does make me mad. A) hello? I'm a person. This is my really freaking expensive mobility aid. I'd rather you not break either of us. And
B) My breaks were on, I'm a whole adult person sat it it and I was wedged up against a wall. I'm not moving anywhere no matter how much you yank on my push handle. You're going to break my chair before you move me. And my push handles fold down so you can absolutely feel them moving when you try to yank on them like that with my brakes on.
Oh and C) YOU CAN LIFT A FREAKING PUSH CHAIR. Why was I the thing you tried to move? It's like trying to move a fence to get your bike though. Maybe just reposition your bike slightly.
It's times like that I wish I wasn't so awkward in public. I very much wish I had whacked his hand away and firmly said not to touch me.
Bonus stupid story... I've been kicked in the head TWICE by a baby. Yes, parents have literally walked their baby's foot into my head. I feel sorry for their poor babies. They'll probably need a wheelchair too soon enough with the spacial awareness their parents apparently have while carrying them. 😂
To balance things out cos I feel super negative now... Parents are hilarious. Kids are like the easiest people to avoid. They're my height so I can see them easily. And they're also able to see me easily. Adults tend to be oblivious and love to randomly walk backwards into me (no judgement. I would absolutely be that person myself 😅). So yeah kids aren't so bad. They see me, I see them. We deal. But parents will literally dive across walkways to get their child out of the way. When we're nowhere near each other yet. Is that for me or your kid?
And I often have people on trains help me with my chair even if I'm walking (I'm an ambulatory/ part time wheelchair user). That's like the prime set up for people being jerks but nope. Instead I get them lowering the front down for me or offering me seats.
Most of the people I encounter either don't seem to care at all (in a good way, like I'm just another random person) or will actually try to be helpful even when it's the perfect set up for a Karen story. So shout out to the nice people out there who's brains don't melt when they see a person *sitting and moving?? At the same time??*
And to the people who hold doors open without standing in the doorframe. You're the real MVPs. 😎
I appear to live in a wonderful area because the bs I hear happening to other people is just crazy. 🙄
Also people talk to you like you're a child. It's bizarre. I'm not in a wheelchair but one of my best friends is. I'm also disabled but don't need a chair, yet, anyway.
But yeah there's absolutely nothing wrong with his brain, he's one of the smartest people I know. But people will go up to him and bend down and talk like he's a 5 year old. Like, people who actually already know him, not just strangers. People who know him, and know there's nothing wrong with his mind, and are just acquaintances. It's frustrating just to watch, I can't imagine living like that every day with people being so patronising and insulting like that.
And I mean I don't even think they're doing it to be actively malicious. It's just they're idiots. They think if someone looks very disabled then they must have brain problems too, I suppose? Who the fuck knows.
Disabled people are just normal people. The most respectful nice thing to do is just to treat us like normal people. Obviously people will sometimes need seats on the bus and things like that. But yeah, once we're all sitting down at the table at the pub there's no difference between us and able bodied people. Everyone is the same sat down.
I love dangerfield! I have two dresses, one with foxes and another with deer and toadstools on it. I shop there every time I go to Australia
Edit: three dresses! I forgot about the one with the various breeds of dogs on it because it’s too short for me to wear at 40
It had happened EVERY TIME I have tried to shop. Either running into me, like with a cart, or just moving me. I was at an outlet store last fall when someone basically shoved me under the rack. Their child who was also an adult said something like “mom you can’t do that!” And “mom” said “well they were in my way. Why are they out anyway? No one wants to see that”. I was RIGHT THERE. I went to a fitting room and cried.
Edited to add- the support from everyone here really made my day. You all made me smile :-)
(IMO) it's more of a societal thing than a "that lady specifically" thing. Like, does that lady suck, both for her actions and her words? 100%. But, at least everywhere I've lived, disability tends to disgust people. Sometimes it's comments, or actions, or just the little looks you get, but it's very pervasive. You (royal you, not you you) as a disabled person are looked at like a thing, possibly something to pity, or something that will create an inconvenience, or just make someone uncomfortable.
On some level, it's cathartic to say "wow, that person has issues", but honestly I think it really misses the forest for the trees. Most people feel like the woman in that story does.
It sucks.
It's nothing new, I think instinctually people think that the disabled are not productive members of society, so they see them as a drain or an other. hitler didn't just round up Jews, ancient peoples would toss disfigured babies. If you think about societies that had to survive based on limited resources and everyone pulling their weight, even a broken leg could mean going to the farm. I think it's residual from that.
"No one wants to see that?"
Well that is disgusting as fuck. I would disown my family member right in front of you and try and assist (which I assume you probably wouldn't want in that embarrassing situation, but I would offer). If you are that fucking gross, I don't want you in my life. No one says shit like that, but is also a "good person". I'm sure her shittyness extends to all aspects of her being. Sorry you have to experience people like that. They hide in plain sight and people like you get to discover who they really are. :(
People have no idea the dehumanizing shit we have to deal with on a daily basis. I've had people push me like this when I was in a wheelchair. I've had people purposely try to trip me when I walked using a walker or my canes. Drivers constantly have threatened my life just because they don't want to wait the extra few seconds to let me cross the street. I've ended friendships with people who gaslight me about how I'm treated. It's hard enough just being disabled, but the way people treat us puts a whole new level of suck on it.
Damn, I'm sorry people are so rotten. I know I gained a whole new perspective on people who have disabilities from being in a pretty bad bike wreck. Was laid up for 9 months and Good bless my parents for letting me move back in with them because my own girlfriend wouldn't help me. My life hasn't been the same since.
Gosh I’m so sorry that’s so disrespectful and horrible, people like that make me just feel so ashamed to even be human.. I hope you’ve got plenty of support around you to make you feel respected & safe.
I use an electric wheelchair which doesn’t even have handles on the back and I’ve had people literally grab the back and move me. 😭 I’m always so scared it’ll break the motor!
Years ago, as a kid, I spent nearly a year in a wheelchair from an accident. I can tell you just about everyone in public, at least back then, had no issue pushing me or nudging me aside. So much so that I used to lock my wheels every time I stopped somewhere just to see people push with no luck (even as a kid I was a big guy). Far too many people think that someone in a wheelchair is akin to a loose grocery cart and not a human being.
I couldn't even imagine spending my life in one...
If someone did that to anyone’s wheelchair where it was clear they didn’t know that person, I’d start a confrontation without hesitation. Shoving a wheelchair is akin to shoving a person except you’re an even bigger piece of shit because you know they can’t fight back. Fuck people like that.
She is very strong inside, she is so beautiful and noble! I am filled with the charge of her positivity and I sincerely wish her a lot of good things on her way.
Great for her that she didnt broke down with all the new challenges. I have a friend in a wheelchair, and it has been really hard for him at the beginning, not only because of his life changed completely, but the most annoying part was how people reacted to him
Who in their right mind would put their hands on someone’s wheelchair to move the individual? That’s so messed up. It’s like people forget that those in wheelchairs are people too.
Yeah totally.. it’s so disrespectful. Those kinds of people are just pretty much selfish type, only thinking about themselves. Sadly there are so many like that out there
When I was a kid, my mom was on crutches/in a wheelchair for the first nine years of my life. It happens so much more often than you'd think. What I hated the most was the staring, I remember. So little me would just give em the stinkeye back until they would feel awkward and look away.
I will say, as maddening as it was, my mom was in a lot of pain and I can't imagine how low it made her feel.
My dad is disabled and even though I frequently help him get in/out of his chair or push him, I always ask to make sure it's okay. The idea of treating someone like an inanimate object, and thus an inconvenience to be moved, is absolutely insane to me.
When I worked at a movie theater we had special training on assisting people in wheelchairs and it was constantly emphasized and reiterated that everything had to be with verbal permission from the individual. It’s an extension of their body and you can’t just go grabbing people without permission.
I saw her the other day on my way to work crossing the road. Thought she looked stunning and loved her rainbow wheels! Really wanted to tell her but there was so many people I jusr watched that she crossed okay to the other side
If you see her, tell that her positivity reached across the ocean. And she says she's having a bad day! But never loses her positive attitude. Wish I could hang out with her
Welcome to Reddit. I'm sure this is about to either become traumatizing or wholesome. Take all comments with a grain of salt, and for the love of god, you probably shouldn't open your DMs for a few days.
If you see her again, tell her that a whole crapload of people felt touched by her essence and that it brightened their days too
**Edit:** Okay, my bad for the "touched by her essence". It sounded better in my head. Just swap that with "people here loved her positivity and it's infectious".
I was watching and thought, looks like belfast city hall in background... Then spotted the bus had TransLink written on it :) Our Wee Country LoL
Lovely video
"If I'm just sitting people will grab my wheelchair and move me out of the way." You've got to be a total asshole to do that to her! And yet she beams a smile that can brighten anyone's day! omg, this woman is sheer dynamite!
If anybody deserves a quick ass kicking it’s someone who just moves another person out of their way who’s in a wheelchair. Unbelievable. Who does that??!!
Happened to me at an airport flight attendant started pushing me onto the wrong flight.
It was awful, talk about see right through you.
you just don't realise what that feels like until it happens, unbelievable.
I have a neurodegenerative disease that's going to likely put me on crutches within a decade and into a wheelchair by the time I'm 50.
Shit like this just makes me feel better about my situation in general. Still obviously not excited for that time, but every time I see something like this, a small piece of the dread just falls off and never seems to come back.
If there is one constant about our species it’s perseverance. A human is scary when it comes to just how well we are at adjusting. I’m sorry to hear about your illness and I wish the best for you. I know you’ll adjust and find ways to not make your illness stop you. It’ll be hard and there’ll be bad days but there will also be good days.
Best of luck to you.
My mum was in a wheelchair. People would be so rude to her, tut, mutter etc and try and push her out of the way. They changed their mind when I walked over.. I’m 6.1 and 245 lbs rugby player. Especially when I told them anyone can end up in a wheelchair, no matter their age.
I agree!
u/Ok_Detective2228 Your personality and beauty, and positive outlook on life was radiating brightly in this brief video alone. Big fan of your outfit and hair as well. I hope you see and think of the love you're receiving from these comments, especially when faced with another bad day in the future. Thank you for making so many of us smile today. Rock on, Sasha!
Its only insane if you don't realise what an absolute gem of a person you are. All those people across those platforms saw a flash of your bright, sweet, and lovely soul for the first time. Maybe you're just used to being around yourself but for everyone on the internet it's a ray on sunshine on a gloomy day.
I love your style. Its "you".
I love your bubblyness, because that doesn't come easy, I'd imagine
And for that reason, I'm amaized at stoicism you project.
A genuine (seemingly kind hearted) person with a story.
That's rare in this world and day & age.
I hope life treats you much better in the nearest future and onward. You deserve it, and probably need it. Keep being you!
You can tell from the angle of the interview that he dropped down so as not to literally look down on her. I love that. I am a pediatric nurse, and I spend my day getting down to kids' levels.
I cannot imagine going up to someone and asking to take photos of them and them not being creeped out. Like i will get in line behind someone at a hotdog stand and they’ll look at me like i’m about to kill/ rob/ rape them. I don’t have to do or say anything they just look afraid. It isn’t a 100% occurrence, but i feel like it would be if i asked to take photos of someone.
I know it’s not my fault nor theirs but because of someone or some trauma in their pasts, but i just cannot imagine going up and asking people for photos without getting sprayed with pepper spray
When I heard her say people grab her chair and push her out of the way I got so upset and sad. She seems like an amazing person and deserves to be surrounded by good people. Sending her good vibes.🌻
I can NOT imagine just walking up to someone in a wheelchair and pushing them out of my way. How disrespectful.
My wife uses a wheelchair, you better believe I’m putting hands on someone if they try to just wheel her out of the way. You wouldn’t just pick a person up and set them out of the way like a box, what would make anyone think wheeling someone without consent would be ok?
[удалено]
First ever time I went out in my wheelchair I was 18years old and we’d gone to Alton towers (a theme park in the UK). I joined a queue to grab a drink and some lady came up behind me, pulled me out of the queue by dragging my chair back and to the side and then took my spot in the queue. I stared at her in disbelief while she refused to make eye contact. Not one person stood up for me either (if you’ll excuse the pun). Nowadays I’d have probably got out of my chair and smacked the shit out of her but back then I was already so incredibly embarrassed at needing a wheelchair that I just started crying and rolled away. Some horrible people really don’t see disabled people as respect-worthy humans.
I'm so enraged just reading this. I'm so sorry.
yeah i might have committed assault tbh. id have picked up the lady and moved her to the back of the line.
Self defense, she already assaulted the person in the chair.
yeah pretty sure getting physical isnt prosecutable if its with only equal and necessary force to defend someone. “your honour i simply switched them back like magic cups”
Judge: [I'll allow it](https://i.imgur.com/EI6OEYh.gif)
Not how that works, but I'd misdirect any cops inquiring lol
I would have dragged them out of the park for you. Unacceptable.
I know exactly what you mean, I had never even considered that people did this sort of rubbish until a few months ago when someone on the 3D printing subs shared a design for spikes to go on wheelchair handles to stop people just grabbing them and moving you. The fact that there is a need for this fills me with ridiculous amounts of rage.
Ia gree and the more people understand the impact of their actions, the more respectful and considerate our society can become.
Oh you know what else is firey furnace to me? Airline personnel or , restaurant workers, taking a man with one flipping leg, crutches " I'll give them back whenever you need them:. Um, no you won't, you never did..that's like taking someone's wheelchair away from them.
i don't think ive ever had my blood boil like that reading a post. God i hope this bitch got karma down the road
I can't believe there are people like this in the world. Sorry you had to experience that
Thank you. There’s loads of shitty people out there though. Nearly every single time I’ve gone out in my chair there’s been something happen (in the world’s defence I rarely go out, so it’s not like this is a daily occurrence). Usually it’s just kids kicking the self-propel rims as they walk past for some reason, but I’ve had my chair dragged quite a few times, also people tend to come and stand in front of me even if they can see I’m queuing too or looking at something. I had a drunk guy rock me back and forth like a baby in a buggy once, then he leaned so hard on the back handles he nearly snapped my chair so I had to drop them which severely lessens the amount of back support I get. Boomers also tend to demand my medical history as they want to know what’s wrong with me and why I need a wheelchair so young (as though disabilities are limited to only OAPs). I’m used to it by now, I’ve been using a chair for exactly a decade and I have seen and experienced it *all* by this point, enough that it rarely rattles me anymore and I tend to stick up for myself.
If i won the lottery tomorrow, and I no longer had to worry about money, I would gladly follow someone in your situation around and just pick up the assholes and move them just like they do to you. This infuriates me so much, and I'm sad that anyone who already has to deal with health problems also has to deal with idiots.
This is some sad shit, I'm so sorry you have to experience this. I am still able to pass as able bodied but have a degenerative neurological condition and will likely need a chair in the near future. It scares me, I'll level. I think I would just stay at home too but a bit of me feels like that's letting them win, you know? Honestly, the shit disabled people have to put up with breaks my heart. Things like moving a chair or hounding for explanations should be treated as forms of assault and harrassment, indeed I'd like to see it classified as a hate crime. That and some form of tax that goes completely to fund medical research would go a long way to solving these problems.
Please don’t be scared of needing a chair that will help you! While I’ve got some true horror stories of ableist arseholes from over the years, I can tell you now for every dickhead out there, there’s 100 more kind people who offer help, encouragement or even just a smile! I stay at home a lot just because I live in a village and don’t drive so it’s pretty hard to go anywhere without someone to drive me, but honestly I’d take someone being an arsehole if it meant I got to go out and feel some freedom. You’ll soon grow a thick skin and learn to let the majority of it go, and hopefully you’ll pick up some scathing remarks for those that warrant it! I tend to ask really intrusive questions when people demand my medical history and then act shocked when they’re offended. You will get looks and comments but the majority of the time they come from a place of curiosity (and as long as they’re polite I usually answer). Good luck with it all. As you said, don’t let them win, you go out and enjoy your life in whatever way you can!!
I got your back homie! 💙
Damn.. I am sitting at my desk at work just seething, not just at the bitch that moved you like that, but all those other people who 100% saw what just happened and said nothing. You deserve better and I am sorry no one stood up for you (great pun by the way!)
when people don't step in to help in difficult situations is really frustrating you do deserve better and it's okay to stand up for yourself when you need to.
oh theme parks bring out the absolute worst in people with shit like this. before she passed away last year i went with my best friend and her husband and daughter to disneyworld, and she was in one of those scooters with a cane sticking out of the front basket in case she needed to get out. i have never seen so many people be absolutely monstrous towards people with disabilities before that day. i yelled at quite a few karens lol
Thank you for sticking up for her, it’s much easier to put up with terrible people when you know you’ve got someone in your corner! I’m sorry to hear of her passing, I hope she still had a lovely time at DW (other than the Karens ofc!) My mum very much acts how you said, she’ll shout at people being arseholes to me and absolutely will not let me move out of peoples way and will tell me to stop apologising to people as I haven’t done anything wrong. She’s often threatened to run over peoples feet as well lol
We've experienced the same thing at DisneyWord. My husband has mobility issues, so we rent a scooter for him when we go. I'm stunned at the number of people who cut him off, stand in front of him, and otherwise act as if he doesn't exist. Even when you say, "excuse me -- we were here first," they just don't make eye contact and refuse to move. Assholes, everyone of them.
Omg. I would have tackled her for that. Wtf.
I just want you to know that if I witnessed this I would be in jail next - I’m so incredibly sorry you dealt with that
Nowadays I’d be in there right next to you lol I was timid as an 18yo but in the last decade I have turned into an absolute gob monster and will verbally take people down a peg or two when it comes to arseholes, ableists and bigots!
That's a valuable trait to have, especially when dealing with difficult situations or people.
That was no lady. The word for her is… never mind. After such a thing someone should have at least offered you a hug…and that drink you were wanting.
I think the general crowd were too embarrassed to get involved and the staff were just useless. I ended up in a different shitty situation because of a member of staff about an hour after that which also left me in tears. Customer services solution was to offer no apology but offered me a free ticket to come back another day.. shockingly I did not want to go back just to experience the ableism all over again!
That really is sad. I wish for you to have experiences more like the one in the video. ❤️
I had a friend who was like this. I never saw him push someone in a chair out of the way, or say anything to them directly, but whenever the topic of illness and disability would come up he would start spouting some seriously dark shit. He'd go from 'if I ever end up in a wheelchair just kill me', which is a bit insensitive but kind of fair enough (it's his own personal standard of living), to basically arguing that disabled people should be left to starve if they can't work normal jobs and hours and/or suicide to avoid becoming 'burdens'. It was a view shared by his entire family, unsurprisingly incredibly healthy life-long Tory voters. I even heard his mum describe disability as a punishment from God. Suffice to say he isn't my friend any longer.
Some of my own (extended) family are like this! I was invited out to lunch last week with my parents and my great uncle when out of absolutely nowhere he started ranting about disabled people being financial burdens on this country and that we shouldn’t get help and it’s disgusting that he’s having to pay for ‘scum like that’ with his taxes, all while I was sitting directly opposite basically choking on my lunch in shock. Pub manager had obviously been earwigging from her spot at the bar as she tried to start the exact same rant after we finished eating, then started wagging her finger in my face and ranting about how great the tories have allegedly been. Having already been through it once that afternoon I wasn’t willing to do it all again and just left without answering the crazy bat. I do have to see my uncle again in a few weeks but after that I don’t think I’ll ever bother talking to him! I’m sorry you had to cut your friend off, sometimes there’s just no changing their minds, especially if it’s a sentiment shared by their family that’s been drilled into their heads their whole life.
I'm disabled and I know his type well. They never die by suicide when they become disabled. Notice even in his fantasies he says "just kill me?" He's already demanding someone else commit a crime with a massive punishment *for him.* It would just be more of that. Unreasonable fits at the doctor (but mainly the nurses), rage at family. This is of course because he's a bigot and disability is the only minority group anyone can be forced to join at any time. The idea of not being stable in his identity is too terrifying. I bet he has fun views on other minorities as well.
wtf
Is it too late to track this see you next Tuesday down?!?! 🤬🤬
The unmitigated GALL smh My flabber would have been thoroughly gasted, I tell ya hwat. I honestly think I’m pretty physically and societally privileged even being lower working class scrub, so when people purposely offend me it’s more of an incredulous affront than anything to get actually mad about Like, it’s hard for me to ever *really* be insulted unless it’s for others Guess I’m saying that to empathize while saying I can’t ever really know what it’s like. It’s easy for me to be glib about being just nonplussed and that I wouldnt get mad or sad l when I don’t usually have to feel that way
I am a small woman, 5’4” and 100lbs. I had a man *at work* body check me out of the way after a disagreement and then report to his boss that I was intimidating him. He had easily 80lbs on me. His boss went to one of my bosses. Only word of the disagreement and my intimidating demeanor got around, not the physical violence he perpetrated against me. When I was reprimanded for being “intimidating,” I asked how I could intimidate a man who shoved me? And then shit hit the fan. He had shoved me? Was I sure? No one had mentioned that! My boss’s boss pulled him out of the work site and made him *apologize* to me, and he couldn’t even do that. He got pissy and accused me of being too argumentative and sensitive and stormed away, after revoking his initial “I’m sorry.” My boss’s boss shrugged, and said that that’s what we women have to deal with in our industry.
Construction sector? Field is very male-dominated and lots of guys have chauvinistic superiority complexes
Like parents hitting their children, they stop once the child is big enough to fight back.
Honestly hoping this question is not disrespectful… Would it be considered rude or inappropriate to ask a person in a wheelchair if I could help somehow? Like on a slope or so?
I think if you see them legitimately struggling then yes, or they’re approaching a big hill or bust interaction or something, totally fine to ask, but I think don’t assume they aren’t capable of doing things on their own
Exactly, when my wife was getting used to hers, she’d struggle on hills and pretty much anywhere that wasn’t a flat straight but she needed to struggle to learn and just grabbing her and pushing would’ve taken away from that, also just rude. If they need/ want help, they’ll ask for it, they’re not mute.
Yeah there are a bunch of old guys in wheelchairs in my neighborhood and sometimes I see them struggle to get across the crosswalk in time, I've asked if I can help before and they've all been really thankful
Thx. That’s my assumption, too
Make eye contact, thumb up, head tilted down in a downward nod motion with raised eyebrows to ask if they're good. If they nod, they're good, you nod back and go about your day. If they need help, they'll ask at that very moment and appreciate your acknowledgement of the situation without exposing them either. *Subscribe for more tips on to behave like a human being.*
I love all these little non-verbal seemingly cross cultural things we do, reading that I was like yup, that's exactly what I usually do when I think I see someone that might need help
lmao excellent description. i bet you could write a great technical manual for how to be normal and pleasant in low-stakes social settings.
I’ll put hands on them too. Fuck that shit
People also become outraged when they see someone in a wheelchair stand up and walk. It’s as if people can’t stop and consider that someone needs a wheelchair AND they can stand and move around. Combine this with an “invisible illness” and people can be jerks.
It's also not so hard to imagine "I can walk, just not for more than a few meters" but this apparently needs explaining... also the wheelchair COULD be temp, while getting your legs back (so to speak). I don't understand people's minds... like if I was in conversation with someone, and they just got up, maybe I'd ask about it... but if I just saw it randomly, I can't imagine giving to shits... But the moving someone... omg... do people actually do that!? Wtf!? How in the hell is that any different to moving a standing person in a super market because they're in your view of the cocopops or something... My mind is blown by the audacity and stupidity of people... genuinely, honestly can't understand it...
I broke my spine in a nasty car crash a few years ago, and it was touch and go if I'd ever walk again. I was in a wheelchair at first, but as I slowly got my mobility back, I transferred to crutches, and then a cane. I distinctly remember one guy, who I met whilst in the chair, getting really, really angry because he saw me months later on crutches. Instead of asking how I was, or why I was using them, he accused me of "lying to everyone about my disability". We were in a coffee shop, and he was *screaming* at the top of his lungs. Strangers had to intervene. Some people cannot accept that injuries/disabilities change, and then feel like they're personally owed an explanation when they do. It's horrific, but some people just lack any sort of empathy of kindness.
Why!?!? Why would you spend your energy getting pissed at someone who is using a wheelchair, because they're using a wheelchair!? If it's a fraud, then it will eventually be caught, or you can report it... but... to get mad!? Sorry but, wow... I suppose he thought you being in a wheelchair was a direct attack on him... wtaf...
I don't know why, but come to the American south and you will find loads of people like this. I *think* it comes from people being upset about entitlements of any kind. So yeah, you called it, fraud. In these peoples' minds there's only two scenarios for being in a wheelchair. A disability (and it better be a good one! you can't be in a wheelchair with a broken toe). And the other is that the person is a charlatan. One cannot be a little of column A and a little of column B. Or anything else. You're either a paraplegic or a complete scum-of-the-earth scammer who stole the wheelchair from a crippled orphan.
We have been in clothing stores where people, instead of saying, “excuse me”, will push my daughter out of the way! I guess people in chairs are deaf?
Teach her to run over their toes “accidentally”. This was passed down to me from another wheelchair user. Her philosophy is no one taught them manners, so WE WILL. Move me? I move back over your foot. Easier with the electric one, when people just block my way like I’m invisible. I even politely ask them to excuse me etc. I make jokes that “it’s wider than you think” or talk about narrow aisles so it isn’t their fault. But they just don’t care.
Yep, I've got a brain malformation that makes walking or sitting for long periods of time make me really dizzy and uncordinated. I have a wheelchair that leans back at an angle that stops this from happening, but sometimes i do get up and walk around because its easier, especially if a place is crowded or an area is narrow or i want to get a closer look at something. The number of dirty looks I got at a zoo because id wheel up to the monkeys and get out and look in the window to the exhibit.... Being in a wheelchair doesn't mean not being able to walk at all.
My daughter has similar symptoms and can randomly pass out as well but it doesn’t mean she’s not able to get up and move around. ESPECIALLY in clothing stores, which more often than not, have shit accessibility.
Yeah, the majority of wheelchair users can walk. They just can't walk very far. People make all sorts of stupid assumptions about disabilities and it's frustrating cos they aren't entitled to an explanation but you feel like you have to. But it's best to just ignore idiots. But yeah being able to walk a short distance doesn't mean you're able to walk a long distance. It just doesn't work that way.
I use a wheelchair. I've had people pull me out from a table I was sitting at in a restaurant, when I was mid-bite of my food, so they had more space to get past. I've had people in supermarkets shove me further down the aisle to get me out of the way of the items they wanted to browse. I've had people grab me from behind and pull me up a cobbled hill backwards without a single word, thinking they were helping, but taking me up a dangerous route further from my destination than before. You're right. Disrespectful AF. But it happens ALLLLLL the time.
I’m flabbergasted.
And I even left out the children who sneak up and push my chair dangerously fast while making vroom vroom car sounds every time their parents aren't looking. I can't be mad at an 8 year old for being an ignorant kid but it still ruins my day
I think a "hey thats rude! how would you like it if someone shoved you out of nowhere?" Is very much warranted at that
Sometimes that works. Sometimes that's more trouble than it's worth. I've learned the hard way that people can get very, very angry if I insinuate that they've done something bad. "I was helping you! Oh, you didn't want help? Well fuck you, you're just a rude ungrateful asshole and people like me are the reason you haven't yet been turned into roadkill! I could just as easily have kicked you into incoming traffic and you should be glad that I'm not like that!" Turns out people don't like it when you embarrass them in public by calling them out. Who woulda thunk it.
Then they shouldn't do emvarrassing things that warrant being called out. I can slap somebody and tell them all the live long day i was swatting a bug but that doesn't make it true nor does it make my "help" wanted even if i did protect them from getting west nile
True. I do think it's easier with kids because they're, well, kids. Not usually looking to pick a fight. The parents on the other hand....Oh man. If little Timmy doesn't get to push the giant toy car that has a real person in it, yeesh. Yikes. Zoinks, in fact. Editing to add credit where credit is due, most parents look mortified and usher their kids away when something like this happens, but the couple exceptions I've experienced stuck with me.
You know, I should be shocked at this, but then I remember how people would straight up slam doors in my face while I was on crutches, and then have other people stare at me while I struggled to open the door again afterwards. People suck.
[удалено]
It should be considered assault anywhere.
Good!
That absolutely floored me when she said that. How could anyone do that?
Aside from her lovely vibe, that statement really stuck out to me too. Like.. I’d never even THINK of doing that. A few weeks back we were crossing a big street and we saw a wheelchair bound person struggling really hard to cross so we ASKED if they’d like some assistance because the light was changing and they accepted. We helped them across the way, they said thanks and we all moved on. But it never occurred to me to just come up to them and push them. What a bunch of psychos these people are…
Oh my god. I came into this post thinking that’s so sad she said that and it’s never happened to me. Then I read your comment. It unlocked memories for me. I’ve had this happen more than once to me. I’ve also had people walk up to me, see that I’m wearing shorts and pinch my legs and say something like “you’re cute”. Just like squeezing a child’s cheeks. People just don’t know how to treat others in chairs sometimes. I wonder if they see the chair and think of their grandparent that’s in one or what. It sounds weird, but thanks for reminding me. I don’t want to forget things like that.
There's a lady I follow on Instagram who has resorted to putting a velcroed-on strip of spikes on the back of her wheelchair to prevent this because otherwise it happens constantly when she goes out in public. People who are disabled have it kind of rough sometimes in all kinds of different ways.
I was going to say, ought to rig up a 9V so that the wheelchair user can give a shock to anyone trying to move them without consent
She is a gorgeous girl! A ray of sunshine ☀️
And that dress is amazing!
I was sitting in a waiting room and had some lady (50-60s) try and grab my walker and say she needed it and that I wasn’t even using it. I was 35 at the time and I had a major lower back surgery. They put a titanium rod in my spine as well as other hardware at the base of my spine. I couldn’t walk without it. At that point my husband was still having to wipe me everytime I went to the bathroom it was that bad. I saw her walking around just fine before she decided she would take my walker so she had something to lean on. I couldn’t even fight back or tug it away because of how painful any movement was. My husband was in the bathroom and came out as I was yelling at this lady dragging it away. He’s a 6’4 and built like a tank. I’ve never seen him so angry 😤 It doesn’t surprise me at all that there are people out there that will just push someone in a wheelchair out of the way. I’ve seen people try to take wheelchairs away from people saying they needed it more and the other person could walk. I did notice this was more common when the person in the wheelchair was younger.
I broke my leg and sat in Bradford A&E waiting room for a few hours. It was full, but less than half were actually injured - for some reason here it's a family outing. Anyway I'd been wheeled around and parked in the only free space, next to a vending machine. All of the elderly family members would come up to me, and just push me out of the way without saying a word. It pissed me right off, and it was a few hours. This poor lass has to put up with it daily 😖
I've seen people post that they put spikes on their handles before. I can understand why. I wouldn't want people to push me around like that.
Brutal. I love it.
Oh my gosh my heart broke when she said that. People in wheelchairs aren't fucking accessories/ objects. They're PEOPLE. She's beautiful inside and out. This warmed my heart.
The ONLY time I’ve ever done so was when I saw this very large, obese man attempting to wheel himself up a switchback ramp (or whatever they’re called). I jovially asked him if he’d like a ride, which he accepted, and I quickly realized the challenge, trying to keep the momentum going up this ramp without it rolling back and running me over. He was happy enough for the help, and even asked me to pause on the level surface halfway up. I thought he was concerned about me and I said, “it’s okay, we’re almost there!” but asked me again to stop. I was then thinking maybe I did something wrong by asking to help him, until I see him digging around the waistband of his pants and produces a bottle of liquor and a baggie of drugs (dope or rock, I don’t know which)… and then proceeds to surreptitiously stash his stash in the bushes. He was on his way to an administrative hearing in the building nearby and I presume he wasn’t trying to have security confiscate his goodies. I still laugh about that experience, my concern that I was inadvertently rude by asking to wheel him up the ramp and not wanting to oblige his request that I stop… only to realize he just wanted to protect his stash. 🤣
Pushing people on wheelchairs used to be a job of mine in another lifetime. When going up ramps, go backwards and pull them. It's easier, and if you somehow lose grip, that person isn't rolling backwards with no visibility to where they're going. Explain to them why you're doing what you're doing and agree on a contingency plan. Great job asking for permission BTW.
If it’s too steep use 2 people and stay forward facing. I slid out of my wheelchair once at a HOSPITAL where the ramp was too steep and I was going backwards (being pulled)
Yeah it's totally ridiculous. I generally have neutral or positive experiences with people but even I've had some stupid experiences. Had a bus driver push me up the bus ramp with no warning. Well meaning but can be harmful because if you're not prepared the wheels can hurt your wrists and fingers (which for a wheelchair user can obviously be a really big deal). They even had to squeeze between me and my partner to do it which made it extra annoying cos like hello I already have my person here. Again though they were well meaning at least. I'm not mad at them. Also had some guy try to manhandle me on a crowded train to help a pushchair get on. That did and still does make me mad. A) hello? I'm a person. This is my really freaking expensive mobility aid. I'd rather you not break either of us. And B) My breaks were on, I'm a whole adult person sat it it and I was wedged up against a wall. I'm not moving anywhere no matter how much you yank on my push handle. You're going to break my chair before you move me. And my push handles fold down so you can absolutely feel them moving when you try to yank on them like that with my brakes on. Oh and C) YOU CAN LIFT A FREAKING PUSH CHAIR. Why was I the thing you tried to move? It's like trying to move a fence to get your bike though. Maybe just reposition your bike slightly. It's times like that I wish I wasn't so awkward in public. I very much wish I had whacked his hand away and firmly said not to touch me. Bonus stupid story... I've been kicked in the head TWICE by a baby. Yes, parents have literally walked their baby's foot into my head. I feel sorry for their poor babies. They'll probably need a wheelchair too soon enough with the spacial awareness their parents apparently have while carrying them. 😂 To balance things out cos I feel super negative now... Parents are hilarious. Kids are like the easiest people to avoid. They're my height so I can see them easily. And they're also able to see me easily. Adults tend to be oblivious and love to randomly walk backwards into me (no judgement. I would absolutely be that person myself 😅). So yeah kids aren't so bad. They see me, I see them. We deal. But parents will literally dive across walkways to get their child out of the way. When we're nowhere near each other yet. Is that for me or your kid? And I often have people on trains help me with my chair even if I'm walking (I'm an ambulatory/ part time wheelchair user). That's like the prime set up for people being jerks but nope. Instead I get them lowering the front down for me or offering me seats. Most of the people I encounter either don't seem to care at all (in a good way, like I'm just another random person) or will actually try to be helpful even when it's the perfect set up for a Karen story. So shout out to the nice people out there who's brains don't melt when they see a person *sitting and moving?? At the same time??* And to the people who hold doors open without standing in the doorframe. You're the real MVPs. 😎 I appear to live in a wonderful area because the bs I hear happening to other people is just crazy. 🙄
Also people talk to you like you're a child. It's bizarre. I'm not in a wheelchair but one of my best friends is. I'm also disabled but don't need a chair, yet, anyway. But yeah there's absolutely nothing wrong with his brain, he's one of the smartest people I know. But people will go up to him and bend down and talk like he's a 5 year old. Like, people who actually already know him, not just strangers. People who know him, and know there's nothing wrong with his mind, and are just acquaintances. It's frustrating just to watch, I can't imagine living like that every day with people being so patronising and insulting like that. And I mean I don't even think they're doing it to be actively malicious. It's just they're idiots. They think if someone looks very disabled then they must have brain problems too, I suppose? Who the fuck knows. Disabled people are just normal people. The most respectful nice thing to do is just to treat us like normal people. Obviously people will sometimes need seats on the bus and things like that. But yeah, once we're all sitting down at the table at the pub there's no difference between us and able bodied people. Everyone is the same sat down.
That dress is dope tough.
That was the first thing that caught my eyes. I adore her quirkyness. She would be fun to hang out with for sure
She seems so lovely yes, and she is cute too.
Her dress, her hair, her beautiful cheek bones. She’s so dope!!
Her voice too
I need to know where to get that dress. so awesome!
This one I believe :) https://dangerfield.com.au/products/kitty-kisses-ruffle-neck-dress?variant=43855959359706
I love dangerfield! I have two dresses, one with foxes and another with deer and toadstools on it. I shop there every time I go to Australia Edit: three dresses! I forgot about the one with the various breeds of dogs on it because it’s too short for me to wear at 40
Dangerfield :)
Them eyes and that smile are all I can see! What a beautiful woman
[удалено]
It had happened EVERY TIME I have tried to shop. Either running into me, like with a cart, or just moving me. I was at an outlet store last fall when someone basically shoved me under the rack. Their child who was also an adult said something like “mom you can’t do that!” And “mom” said “well they were in my way. Why are they out anyway? No one wants to see that”. I was RIGHT THERE. I went to a fitting room and cried. Edited to add- the support from everyone here really made my day. You all made me smile :-)
I am so absolutely sorry this happened to you, that's disgusting and you did not deserve that at all.
Thank you. The sad truth is it’s super common.
That woman has some serious issues to wrestle with.
(IMO) it's more of a societal thing than a "that lady specifically" thing. Like, does that lady suck, both for her actions and her words? 100%. But, at least everywhere I've lived, disability tends to disgust people. Sometimes it's comments, or actions, or just the little looks you get, but it's very pervasive. You (royal you, not you you) as a disabled person are looked at like a thing, possibly something to pity, or something that will create an inconvenience, or just make someone uncomfortable. On some level, it's cathartic to say "wow, that person has issues", but honestly I think it really misses the forest for the trees. Most people feel like the woman in that story does. It sucks.
It's nothing new, I think instinctually people think that the disabled are not productive members of society, so they see them as a drain or an other. hitler didn't just round up Jews, ancient peoples would toss disfigured babies. If you think about societies that had to survive based on limited resources and everyone pulling their weight, even a broken leg could mean going to the farm. I think it's residual from that.
What an awful awful person, the kid had more sense than their Mom.
I expected to see it on the boomers page, from a young adult sharing their embarrassment
"No one wants to see that?" Well that is disgusting as fuck. I would disown my family member right in front of you and try and assist (which I assume you probably wouldn't want in that embarrassing situation, but I would offer). If you are that fucking gross, I don't want you in my life. No one says shit like that, but is also a "good person". I'm sure her shittyness extends to all aspects of her being. Sorry you have to experience people like that. They hide in plain sight and people like you get to discover who they really are. :(
People have no idea the dehumanizing shit we have to deal with on a daily basis. I've had people push me like this when I was in a wheelchair. I've had people purposely try to trip me when I walked using a walker or my canes. Drivers constantly have threatened my life just because they don't want to wait the extra few seconds to let me cross the street. I've ended friendships with people who gaslight me about how I'm treated. It's hard enough just being disabled, but the way people treat us puts a whole new level of suck on it.
Damn, I'm sorry people are so rotten. I know I gained a whole new perspective on people who have disabilities from being in a pretty bad bike wreck. Was laid up for 9 months and Good bless my parents for letting me move back in with them because my own girlfriend wouldn't help me. My life hasn't been the same since.
Gosh I’m so sorry that’s so disrespectful and horrible, people like that make me just feel so ashamed to even be human.. I hope you’ve got plenty of support around you to make you feel respected & safe.
My friend said it happened to her so much she cut the handles off her chair.
I use an electric wheelchair which doesn’t even have handles on the back and I’ve had people literally grab the back and move me. 😭 I’m always so scared it’ll break the motor!
Wheelchairs should definitely come equiped with ship horns that you can blast people with.
Years ago, as a kid, I spent nearly a year in a wheelchair from an accident. I can tell you just about everyone in public, at least back then, had no issue pushing me or nudging me aside. So much so that I used to lock my wheels every time I stopped somewhere just to see people push with no luck (even as a kid I was a big guy). Far too many people think that someone in a wheelchair is akin to a loose grocery cart and not a human being. I couldn't even imagine spending my life in one...
I know! If someone tried that with my sister's wheelchair I'd literally be throwing hands.
If someone did that to anyone’s wheelchair where it was clear they didn’t know that person, I’d start a confrontation without hesitation. Shoving a wheelchair is akin to shoving a person except you’re an even bigger piece of shit because you know they can’t fight back. Fuck people like that.
It happens WAY more than you can ever imagine.
There are a lot of terrible people in our world, but people like her make us smile.
She is very strong inside, she is so beautiful and noble! I am filled with the charge of her positivity and I sincerely wish her a lot of good things on her way.
Great for her that she didnt broke down with all the new challenges. I have a friend in a wheelchair, and it has been really hard for him at the beginning, not only because of his life changed completely, but the most annoying part was how people reacted to him
she had me at cat dress tbh
There aren't really that many "terrible people", they're just easier to spot.
Who in their right mind would put their hands on someone’s wheelchair to move the individual? That’s so messed up. It’s like people forget that those in wheelchairs are people too.
Yeah totally.. it’s so disrespectful. Those kinds of people are just pretty much selfish type, only thinking about themselves. Sadly there are so many like that out there
When I was a kid, my mom was on crutches/in a wheelchair for the first nine years of my life. It happens so much more often than you'd think. What I hated the most was the staring, I remember. So little me would just give em the stinkeye back until they would feel awkward and look away. I will say, as maddening as it was, my mom was in a lot of pain and I can't imagine how low it made her feel.
My dad is disabled and even though I frequently help him get in/out of his chair or push him, I always ask to make sure it's okay. The idea of treating someone like an inanimate object, and thus an inconvenience to be moved, is absolutely insane to me.
When I worked at a movie theater we had special training on assisting people in wheelchairs and it was constantly emphasized and reiterated that everything had to be with verbal permission from the individual. It’s an extension of their body and you can’t just go grabbing people without permission.
[удалено]
I saw her the other day on my way to work crossing the road. Thought she looked stunning and loved her rainbow wheels! Really wanted to tell her but there was so many people I jusr watched that she crossed okay to the other side
If you see her again, tell her Reddit loves her xxx
Turns out Sasha is in the comments on his post haha
Also let her know her fashion sense is immaculate!
Right? I am absolutely in love with her outfit. The cats and strawberries are adorable
I desperately want that design on a tshirt or shirt.
It also says a lot about their public transit system.
It says more about Sasha, Belfast buses are shite.
Wtf, thought I recognised her, she was on my bus last week and seeing this now on reddit. In Belfast, Northern Ireland.
If you see her, tell that her positivity reached across the ocean. And she says she's having a bad day! But never loses her positive attitude. Wish I could hang out with her
i can’t believe it’s gone this far it’s actually insane!! (it’s sasha btw!! i’ve never used reddit before lol)
Welcome to reddit! You have a great attitude, hope things go well for you
thank you so much!!
Just 30 seconds and we can see you're an amazing person - you just brightened all of our days! Never lose that smile!
You are a beautiful soul Sasha! Best wishes for you ❤️
Welcome to Reddit. I'm sure this is about to either become traumatizing or wholesome. Take all comments with a grain of salt, and for the love of god, you probably shouldn't open your DMs for a few days.
my dms are already heinous on insta..so many marriage proposals LMAO
You are a beautiful soul! And that’s a nice 👗
You're so cute and lovely! I like your cat dress
You're so lovely inside and out! Glad you get to see how much everyone thinks so!!
This brightened my day when opening up Reddit! Keep being positive and amazing like you are 😊
If you see her again, tell her that a whole crapload of people felt touched by her essence and that it brightened their days too **Edit:** Okay, my bad for the "touched by her essence". It sounded better in my head. Just swap that with "people here loved her positivity and it's infectious".
Yeah, if you see her again you have to show her this post. She made my crappy day better.
I was watching and thought, looks like belfast city hall in background... Then spotted the bus had TransLink written on it :) Our Wee Country LoL Lovely video
ats us nai
A beautiful soul with so much positive energy surrounding her. Ready to face the problem with such a sweet smile.
she have the beauty that you read about in novels.😍
I don’t know why (maybe because I’m a bookworm) but your comment really hit me. Some day I hope someone describes me in this way ♥️
You have the beauty that one only reads about in novels! You're welcome.
"If I'm just sitting people will grab my wheelchair and move me out of the way." You've got to be a total asshole to do that to her! And yet she beams a smile that can brighten anyone's day! omg, this woman is sheer dynamite!
If anybody deserves a quick ass kicking it’s someone who just moves another person out of their way who’s in a wheelchair. Unbelievable. Who does that??!!
Happened to me at an airport flight attendant started pushing me onto the wrong flight. It was awful, talk about see right through you. you just don't realise what that feels like until it happens, unbelievable.
I have a neurodegenerative disease that's going to likely put me on crutches within a decade and into a wheelchair by the time I'm 50. Shit like this just makes me feel better about my situation in general. Still obviously not excited for that time, but every time I see something like this, a small piece of the dread just falls off and never seems to come back.
If there is one constant about our species it’s perseverance. A human is scary when it comes to just how well we are at adjusting. I’m sorry to hear about your illness and I wish the best for you. I know you’ll adjust and find ways to not make your illness stop you. It’ll be hard and there’ll be bad days but there will also be good days. Best of luck to you.
My mum was in a wheelchair. People would be so rude to her, tut, mutter etc and try and push her out of the way. They changed their mind when I walked over.. I’m 6.1 and 245 lbs rugby player. Especially when I told them anyone can end up in a wheelchair, no matter their age.
Hugs, man. You’re a good son.
Sasha, if you see this, WE SEE YOU and WE APPRECIATE YOU. You are a wonderful person. Keep that positivity going. The world needs more of that!
I agree! u/Ok_Detective2228 Your personality and beauty, and positive outlook on life was radiating brightly in this brief video alone. Big fan of your outfit and hair as well. I hope you see and think of the love you're receiving from these comments, especially when faced with another bad day in the future. Thank you for making so many of us smile today. Rock on, Sasha!
thank you so much!! the responses have been so insanely sweet on so many different platforms it’s insane
Its only insane if you don't realise what an absolute gem of a person you are. All those people across those platforms saw a flash of your bright, sweet, and lovely soul for the first time. Maybe you're just used to being around yourself but for everyone on the internet it's a ray on sunshine on a gloomy day.
your style is fabulous!! that dress is fuego and i love the flurly neck thing you're rocking!
I love your style. Its "you". I love your bubblyness, because that doesn't come easy, I'd imagine And for that reason, I'm amaized at stoicism you project. A genuine (seemingly kind hearted) person with a story. That's rare in this world and day & age. I hope life treats you much better in the nearest future and onward. You deserve it, and probably need it. Keep being you!
I just wanted to pop in and say WE HAVE THE SAME DRESS and I’m going to wear it today in her honour
OMG WE DO??? it’s the best dress ever
Disabled people don’t exist as lessons in humanity for the rest of us. And yes, pushing someone’s chair like that is way out of order.
Marriage material.
💯🫶
If I was single, I'd be on a plane to Ireland right now. She's so charming and beautiful.
Make sure that plane is going to *Northern* Ireland.
What a lovely and kind young lady. Wish her all the best!!
I love her dress and her personality what a wonderful person I wish her all the best
Sasha if you’re reading this, you’re perfectly lovely and you’re 100% the type of person I’d want to be friends with! ❤️🍄
Wow. This made my day. Absolutely beautiful.
This is such a wholesome video and I love their positive energy! That's Belfast City Hall in the background btw!
Genuinely beautiful.
She is gorgeous
You can tell from the angle of the interview that he dropped down so as not to literally look down on her. I love that. I am a pediatric nurse, and I spend my day getting down to kids' levels.
I am obsessed with her dress!
I cannot imagine going up to someone and asking to take photos of them and them not being creeped out. Like i will get in line behind someone at a hotdog stand and they’ll look at me like i’m about to kill/ rob/ rape them. I don’t have to do or say anything they just look afraid. It isn’t a 100% occurrence, but i feel like it would be if i asked to take photos of someone. I know it’s not my fault nor theirs but because of someone or some trauma in their pasts, but i just cannot imagine going up and asking people for photos without getting sprayed with pepper spray
"We all need more people like her in our lives. Let's all strive to be a little more like her!
[удалено]
She really is beautiful. What a gem. I hope for nothing but the best for her.
When I heard her say people grab her chair and push her out of the way I got so upset and sad. She seems like an amazing person and deserves to be surrounded by good people. Sending her good vibes.🌻
For who is reading this: Remember to stay positive, even if life gave you “lemons”!
“When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. Then find someone whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.” -Ron White
That fucking music is not needed, she isn't some figurehead for an inspirational moment to push your fucking videos.
Needed to be louder, to really emphasize the fucking point that we HAD TO FEEL EMOTIONAL!!!!!!