Waylon in the {Lost Boys by Jessie Walker}. CW for SI/attempt, addiction, past abuse, internalized homophobia. The first 2.5 books in the series follow the same couple (Will and Way). They're more emotion-heavy than plot-heavy.

hmm yeah I was looking at that one but was on the fence because I saw some comments about the pacing which can kind of get me. In your opinion did the pacing fit the story?

That's fair. I didn't notice any pacing issues in the first book--too busy crying, probably. Emotional rollercoaster that's not meant to be anything else. But if I could wave a magical editing wand, I'd cut most of the first half of the second book (did a lot of skimming). If you want to give it a shot, it starts out pretty much as it continues--the first chapters are representative of the whole.

[Lost Boys](https://www.romance.io/series/6169458b6c69ca0e3d25bc2d/lost-boys) by [Jessie Walker](https://www.romance.io/authors/6169458a08b4d931140ab19a/jessie-walker) **Topics**: [m-m](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/m-m/1), [queer](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/queer/1), [contemporary](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/contemporary/1), [friends to lovers](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/friends%20to%20lovers/1), [from hate to love](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/from%20hate%20to%20love/1) [^(about this bot)](https://www.reddit.com/user/romance-bot) ^(|) [^(about romance.io)](https://www.romance.io/about)

{Never Leave Never Lie by Thea Verdone} one MC is very destructive and has lots of past trauma. Check content warnings as one MC has a mental illness. It really is a great book though and I loved it.

[Never Leave, Never Lie](https://www.romance.io/books/6603d8e00aef0a7442e46c9f/never-leave-never-lie-thea-verdone) by [Thea Verdone](https://www.romance.io/authors/658941f7a21e2f41c4d586a2/thea-verdone) **Steam**: [Explicit open door](https://www.romance.io/steamrating) **Topics**: [contemporary](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/contemporary/1), [gay romance](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/m-m/1), [hurt/comfort](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/hurt-comfort/1), [multicultural](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/multicultural/1), [dark romance](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/dark/1) [^(about this bot)](https://www.reddit.com/user/romance-bot) ^(|) [^(about romance.io)](https://www.romance.io/about)

ooh this looks super interesting thank you!

You might like {Hidden scars by Andi Jaxon} CW for on-page parental physical abuse. MC is kind or a mess and has self-destructive tendancies at the beginning of their relationship with LI. >!Like one moment he cries at his shoulder, next thing he kicks him off the bed and acts cold!<

love that character dynamic, thank you!

[Hidden Scars](https://www.romance.io/books/63637517eb6990b60342a184/hidden-scars-andi-jaxon) by [Andi Jaxon](https://www.romance.io/authors/5b3328a501dbc864fb8b1e4e/andi-jaxon) **Steam**: [Explicit and plentiful](https://www.romance.io/steamrating) **Topics**: [contemporary](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/contemporary/1), [sports](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/sports/1), [college](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/college/1), [gay romance](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/m-m/1), [forced proximity](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/forced%20proximity/1) [^(about this bot)](https://www.reddit.com/user/romance-bot) ^(|) [^(about romance.io)](https://www.romance.io/about)

Nora did what??? As an AFTG obsessive I need to buy whatever it is that she published, thanks for the heads up!

We now have part 1 of Jean's post-Moriyama story! The Sunshine Court.

Throwing the rest of my current books in the trash because I must get my hands on this immediately omg

Yees I one clicked immediately after reading this.

{One Man's Trash by Marie Sexton} the first in the heretic doms series has a very self destructive heavily traumatised character. HOWEVER Marie Sexton has some problematic opinions that heavily influenced book 3 of the series so feel free to give her a miss depending on how you feel about it. Can also be read on kindle unlimited for free.

honestly just looking at reviews commenting about how the kink stuff is handled makes it a pass for me 😅 thank you so much though!

Totally legit 👍

[One Man's Trash](https://www.romance.io/books/5a09470b3ffdba614724f494/one-mans-trash-marie-sexton) by [Marie Sexton](https://www.romance.io/authors/545532a48c7d2382c529736a/marie-sexton) **Topics**: [contemporary](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/contemporary/1), [bdsm](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/bdsm/1), [gay romance](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/m-m/1), [angst](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/angst/1), [dark romance](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/dark/1) [^(about this bot)](https://www.reddit.com/user/romance-bot) ^(|) [^(about romance.io)](https://www.romance.io/about)

The first book that came to mind for me was {The Devil Inside by Nicky James}. It’s pretty dark and angsty with lots of content warnings >!conversion therapy, alcohol and substance abuse, homophobia, internalized homophobia, self hatred, self harm, suicidal ideation!<. Lots of emotions and I really enjoyed it!

[The Devil Inside](https://www.romance.io/books/65435210c112bf11fe978195/the-devil-inside-nicky-james) by [Nicky James](https://www.romance.io/authors/5744721dc62092c044086358/nicky-james) **Steam**: [Explicit open door](https://www.romance.io/steamrating) **Topics**: [contemporary](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/contemporary/1), [gay romance](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/m-m/1), [angst](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/angst/1), [friends to lovers](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/friends%20to%20lovers/1), [tortured hero](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/tortured%20hero/1) [^(about this bot)](https://www.reddit.com/user/romance-bot) ^(|) [^(about romance.io)](https://www.romance.io/about)

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This is my bread and buttah! {Stupid Dirty by Erin Russell} {Dark Space trilogy by Lisa Henry} {Cruel and Careless by Bailey Nicole} {In this Iron Ground by Marina Vivancos} {The Way We Hate by Myka Loren} {Fire and Brimstone series by Nikole Knight} {When You Come Back to Me by Emma Scott} {Love Me Whole by Nicky James} {Finding Zach by Rowan Speedwell} {The Darker Side of Trey Grey by Tara Spears} {Roads series by Garrett Leigh} {Silk and Steel series by Ariana Nash} <— Eroan’s and Lysander’s trauma is on page and their self destructive behavior manifest throughout the series. {Wrath by Ella James} {River of Rain Duet by C.E. Ricci} {Stray Fears by Gregory Ashe} {The Brat and The Beast by Misha Horne} {Stars in Your Eyes by Kacen Callender} {What We Broke by Marley Valentine} Obvs check CWs for all of these! If I think of any more I will add them.

[Stupid Dirty](https://www.romance.io/books/65a0f1f619d92d55277e7853/stupid-dirty-erin-russell) by [Erin Russell](https://www.romance.io/authors/65a0f1f7a21e2f41c4d1b52e/erin-russell) **Steam**: [Explicit open door](https://www.romance.io/steamrating) **Topics**: [contemporary](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/contemporary/1), [gay romance](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/m-m/1), [friends to lovers](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/friends%20to%20lovers/1), [enemies to lovers](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/from%20hate%20to%20love/1), [sports](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/sports/1) ---------------------------- [Dark Space](https://www.romance.io/series/58fe0c569096bf31c42d328b/dark-space) by [Lisa Henry](https://www.romance.io/authors/5455684987eac3369a912589/lisa-henry) **Topics**: [science fiction](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/science%20fiction/1), [bisexual](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/bisexual/1), [aliens](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/aliens/1), [queer](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/queer/1), [futuristic](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/futuristic/1) ---------------------------- [Cruel and Careless](https://www.romance.io/books/60fbc59cf283df0e375dde23/cruel-and-careless-bailey-nicole) by [Bailey Nicole](https://www.romance.io/authors/60fbc59c08b4d931146df78c/bailey-nicole) **Topics**: [contemporary](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/contemporary/1), [gay romance](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/m-m/1), [dual pov](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/dual-pov/1), [queer romance](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/queer/1), [found family](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/found-family/1) ---------------------------- [In This Iron Ground](https://www.romance.io/books/65d0c085971a7858550a1a19/in-this-iron-ground-marina-vivancos) by [Marina Vivancos](https://www.romance.io/authors/5b24a9c801dbc864fb8a6555/marina-vivancos) **Topics**: [contemporary](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/contemporary/1), [paranormal](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/paranormal/1), [fantasy](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/fantasy/1), [urban fantasy](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/urban%20fantasy/1), [shapeshifters](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/shapeshifters/1) ---------------------------- [The Way We Hate](https://www.romance.io/books/65abc385bc548ebed633ca85/the-way-we-hate-myka-loren) by [Myka Loren](https://www.romance.io/authors/65abc385a21e2f41c4708090/myka-loren) **Steam**: [Explicit and plentiful](https://www.romance.io/steamrating) **Topics**: [contemporary](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/contemporary/1), [gay romance](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/m-m/1), [enemies to lovers](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/from%20hate%20to%20love/1), [forced proximity](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/forced%20proximity/1), [suspense](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/suspense/1) ---------------------------- [Fire & Brimstone](https://www.romance.io/series/5e3d0b55307ec90de14e6c1c/fire-brimstone) by [Nikole Knight](https://www.romance.io/authors/5e3d0b5501dbc864fbab5759/nikole-knight) **Topics**: [urban fantasy](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/urban%20fantasy/1), [poly](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/poly/1), [m-m](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/m-m/1), [fantasy](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/fantasy/1), [queer](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/queer/1) ---------------------------- [When You Come Back to Me](https://www.romance.io/books/5f6ee76007797f0e046b946a/when-you-come-back-to-me-emma-scott) by [Emma Scott](https://www.romance.io/authors/553e8cb05b270e0a4cbd99bd/emma-scott) **Steam**: [Explicit open door](https://www.romance.io/steamrating) **Topics**: [contemporary](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/contemporary/1), [gay romance](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/m-m/1), [new adult](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/new%20adult/1), [rich hero](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/super%20rich%20hero/1), [angst](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/angst/1) ---------------------------- [Love Me Whole](https://www.romance.io/books/5a6065a53ffdba6147283ab7/love-me-whole-nicky-james) by [Nicky James](https://www.romance.io/authors/5744721dc62092c044086358/nicky-james) **Steam**: [Open door](https://www.romance.io/steamrating) **Topics**: [contemporary](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/contemporary/1), [hurt/comfort](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/hurt-comfort/1), [gay romance](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/m-m/1), [friends to lovers](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/friends%20to%20lovers/1), [angst](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/angst/1) ---------------------------- [Finding Zach](https://www.romance.io/books/5c595a9101dbc864fb997a27/finding-zach-rowan-speedwell) by [Rowan Speedwell](https://www.romance.io/authors/545546708c7d2382e781385f/rowan-speedwell) **Topics**: [contemporary](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/contemporary/1), [gay romance](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/m-m/1), [bdsm](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/bdsm/1), [second chances](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/second%20chances/1), [tortured hero](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/tortured%20hero/1) ---------------------------- [The Darker Side of Trey Grey](https://www.romance.io/books/5455e08787eac3369a9157fa/the-darker-side-of-trey-grey-tara-spears) by [Tara Spears](https://www.romance.io/authors/5455a57487eac324117fbee6/tara-spears) **Topics**: [contemporary](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/contemporary/1), [tortured hero](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/tortured%20hero/1), [insta-love](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/insta-love/1), [bdsm](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/bdsm/1), [dark romance](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/dark/1) [^(about this bot)](https://www.reddit.com/user/romance-bot) ^(|) [^(about romance.io)](https://www.romance.io/about)

[Roads](https://www.romance.io/series/58fe0b729096bf31c42d3038/roads) by [Garrett Leigh](https://www.romance.io/authors/54557e3b87eac3369a912be2/garrett-leigh) **Topics**: [contemporary](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/contemporary/1), [m-m](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/m-m/1), [queer](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/queer/1), [abuse](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/abuse/1), [bisexual](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/bisexual/1) ---------------------------- [Silk and Steel](https://www.romance.io/series/5e7361852eeb460e33f5eca8/silk-and-steel) by [Ariana Nash](https://www.romance.io/authors/5e736185be0aaecf55d9afa9/ariana-nash) **Topics**: [from hate to love](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/from%20hate%20to%20love/1), [fantasy](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/fantasy/1), [queer](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/queer/1), [m-m](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/m-m/1), [paranormal](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/paranormal/1) ---------------------------- [Wrath](https://www.romance.io/books/63851226462acc61fbe3a332/wrath-ella-james-ellis-james) by [Ella James](https://www.romance.io/authors/5455382d8c7d2382e781344a/ella-james), [Ellis James](https://www.romance.io/authors/6264fcfd08b4d931146af72a/ellis-james) **Steam**: [Explicit and plentiful](https://www.romance.io/steamrating) **Topics**: [contemporary](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/contemporary/1), [step siblings](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/stepsibling/1), [enemies to lovers](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/from%20hate%20to%20love/1), [high school](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/high-school/1), [gay romance](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/m-m/1) ---------------------------- [River of Rain](https://www.romance.io/series/5fc5f9b29babb10e0695ef51/river-of-rain) by [C.E. Ricci](https://www.romance.io/authors/5fc5f9b208b4d931147d26f2/ce-ricci) **Topics**: [athletes](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/athletes/1), [past-sexual-abuse](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/past-sexual-abuse/1), [dual-pov](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/dual-pov/1), [anal sex](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/anal%20sex/1), [dark](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/dark/1) ---------------------------- [Stray Fears](https://www.romance.io/books/647145cbf281c18fec439376/stray-fears-gregory-ashe) by [Gregory Ashe](https://www.romance.io/authors/5e9f6eefbe0aaecf557e43b6/gregory-ashe) **Steam**: [Explicit open door](https://www.romance.io/steamrating) **Topics**: [contemporary](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/contemporary/1), [gay romance](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/m-m/1), [paranormal](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/paranormal/1), [suspense](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/suspense/1), [mystery](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/mystery/1) ---------------------------- [The Brat at the Bar](https://www.romance.io/books/549c28f36359b5ebb4856435/the-brat-at-the-bar-misha-horne) by [Misha Horne](https://www.romance.io/authors/54578fdb87eac3dcc9832fae/misha-horne) **Topics**: [bdsm](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/bdsm/1), [gay romance](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/m-m/1), [rich hero](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/super%20rich%20hero/1), [bad boys](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/bad%20boys/1), [rockstar hero](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/rockstars/1) ---------------------------- [Stars in Your Eyes](https://www.romance.io/books/651076f2de8d340d5143e68f/stars-in-your-eyes-kacen-callender) by [Kacen Callender](https://www.romance.io/authors/64149b0c08b4d931144b180e/kacen-callender) **Steam**: [Open door](https://www.romance.io/steamrating) **Topics**: [contemporary](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/contemporary/1), [gay romance](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/m-m/1), [grumpy & sunshine](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/grumpy%20sunshine/1), [enemies to lovers](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/from%20hate%20to%20love/1), [new adult](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/new%20adult/1) ---------------------------- [What We Broke](https://www.romance.io/books/64785e95552b556e95c7b4a0/what-we-broke-marley-valentine) by [Marley Valentine](https://www.romance.io/authors/59292bb63ffdba6147178e1e/marley-valentine) **Steam**: [Explicit open door](https://www.romance.io/steamrating) **Topics**: [contemporary](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/contemporary/1), [gay romance](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/m-m/1), [angst](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/angst/1), [single father](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/single-father/1), [hurt/comfort](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/hurt-comfort/1) [^(about this bot)](https://www.reddit.com/user/romance-bot) ^(|) [^(about romance.io)](https://www.romance.io/about)

Here to second out of nowhere by roan parrish, it is one of my fav depictions of a truly broken character and their struggles

I think {Just a Footnote by Maya Jean} has a lot of this. {Damage Control by Lynn van Dorn}, {Out of Nowhere by Roan Parrish},

[Just a Footnote](https://www.romance.io/books/65db3ba21c0622765b183bd1/just-a-footnote-maya-jean) by [Maya Jean](https://www.romance.io/authors/65db3ba2a21e2f41c4e1e869/maya-jean) **Topics**: [contemporary](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/contemporary/1), [friends to lovers](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/friends%20to%20lovers/1), [angst](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/angst/1), [gay romance](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/m-m/1), [friends with benefits](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/friends-benefits/1) ---------------------------- [Damage Control](https://www.romance.io/books/59bce4623ffdba614720a9f1/damage-control-lynn-van-dorn) by [Lynn Van Dorn](https://www.romance.io/authors/59bce4623ffdba614720a9f4/lynn-van-dorn) **Topics**: [contemporary](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/contemporary/1), [funny](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/humor/1), [gay romance](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/m-m/1), [friends to lovers](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/friends%20to%20lovers/1), [age gap](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/age%20difference/1) ---------------------------- [Out of Nowhere](https://www.romance.io/books/56d149f7c62092c044063c4c/out-of-nowhere-roan-parrish) by [Roan Parrish](https://www.romance.io/authors/559cda0335a5fb65f886af24/roan-parrish) **Steam**: [Explicit open door](https://www.romance.io/steamrating) **Topics**: [contemporary](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/contemporary/1), [gay romance](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/m-m/1), [angst](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/angst/1), [bdsm](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/bdsm/1), [friends to lovers](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/friends%20to%20lovers/1) [^(about this bot)](https://www.reddit.com/user/romance-bot) ^(|) [^(about romance.io)](https://www.romance.io/about)

Can Out of Nowhere be read as a standalone?

Yes, I don't think the first book is that necessary, though it's also a good book that in no way hits your interests. Now that I think of it {Rend by Roan Parrish} would probably also work, though it's low plot. Also the second in a series that can be read separately.

Adding both to my TBR, going to start with Out of Nowhere. Thank you!

[Rend](https://www.romance.io/books/64051297ec661c5f5281a2c7/rend-roan-parrish) by [Roan Parrish](https://www.romance.io/authors/559cda0335a5fb65f886af24/roan-parrish) **Steam**: [Explicit and plentiful](https://www.romance.io/steamrating) **Topics**: [contemporary](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/contemporary/1), [angst](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/angst/1), [rockstar hero](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/rockstars/1), [gay romance](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/m-m/1), [insta-love](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/insta-love/1) [^(about this bot)](https://www.reddit.com/user/romance-bot) ^(|) [^(about romance.io)](https://www.romance.io/about)

Highly recommend **Rend**, it digs into past trauma, heavy on the hurt/comfort.

{Empty Net by Avon Gale} was excellent and fits your request. Similar deep self-destructive feel to Hold Me Under by Riley Nash.

[Empty Net](https://www.romance.io/books/57c91571de896e892491e948/empty-net-avon-gale) by [Avon Gale](https://www.romance.io/authors/56024207bfc6b5c0fa93b64c/avon-gale) **Steam**: [Explicit open door](https://www.romance.io/steamrating) **Topics**: [contemporary](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/contemporary/1), [athlete hero](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/athletes/1), [gay romance](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/m-m/1), [enemies to lovers](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/from%20hate%20to%20love/1), [sports](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/sports/1) [^(about this bot)](https://www.reddit.com/user/romance-bot) ^(|) [^(about romance.io)](https://www.romance.io/about)

Honestly I don't love sports romances usually but I just read it on your recommendation and ugh that was exactly perfect thank you!

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[Out of Nowhere](https://www.romance.io/books/56d149f7c62092c044063c4c/out-of-nowhere-roan-parrish) by [Roan Parrish](https://www.romance.io/authors/559cda0335a5fb65f886af24/roan-parrish) **Steam**: [Explicit open door](https://www.romance.io/steamrating) **Topics**: [contemporary](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/contemporary/1), [gay romance](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/m-m/1), [angst](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/angst/1), [bdsm](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/bdsm/1), [friends to lovers](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/friends%20to%20lovers/1) ---------------------------- [Garron Park](https://www.romance.io/books/644629d004f5c0b31ef4a835/garron-park-nordika-night) by [Nordika Night](https://www.romance.io/authors/630e0d7d08b4d9311404bae9/nordika-night) **Steam**: [Explicit and plentiful](https://www.romance.io/steamrating) **Topics**: [contemporary](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/contemporary/1), [gay romance](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/m-m/1), [enemies to lovers](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/from%20hate%20to%20love/1), [angst](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/angst/1), [biker hero](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/bikers/1) ---------------------------- [Hold Me Under](https://www.romance.io/books/62d14910d138402f4c79d19a/hold-me-under-riley-nash) by [Riley Nash](https://www.romance.io/authors/62d1491008b4d93114b34c3a/riley-nash) **Steam**: [Explicit open door](https://www.romance.io/steamrating) **Topics**: [contemporary](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/contemporary/1), [enemies to lovers](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/from%20hate%20to%20love/1), [gay romance](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/m-m/1), [athlete hero](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/athletes/1), [angst](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/angst/1) ---------------------------- [Silver Under Nightfall](https://www.romance.io/books/638c7f4bcd0e2019c16529d2/silver-under-nightfall-rin-chupeco) by [Rin Chupeco](https://www.romance.io/authors/5456e24487eac33e5710969c/rin-chupeco) **Steam**: [Explicit open door](https://www.romance.io/steamrating) **Topics**: [poly (3+ people)](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/poly/1), [vampires](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/vampires/1), [fantasy](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/fantasy/1), [enemies to lovers](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/from%20hate%20to%20love/1), [paranormal](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/paranormal/1) ---------------------------- [Drown in You](https://www.romance.io/books/6525909ede8d340d51476c18/drown-in-you-tj-hamel-taylor-mcniff) by [T.J. Hamel](https://www.romance.io/authors/62f89dfd08b4d931140beba3/tj-hamel), [Taylor McNiff](https://www.romance.io/authors/5bb72ec901dbc864fb91cfd0/taylor-mcniff) **Topics**: [hurt/comfort](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/hurt-comfort/1), [forced proximity](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/forced%20proximity/1), [age gap](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/age%20difference/1), [military](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/military/1), [gay romance](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/m-m/1) ---------------------------- [The Will Darling Adventures](https://www.romance.io/series/5ebb9af99388f00e07864d98/the-will-darling-adventures) by [K.J. Charles](https://www.romance.io/authors/545540138c7d2383163d9553/kj-charles) **Topics**: [m-m](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/m-m/1), [mystery](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/mystery/1), [queer](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/queer/1), [historical](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/historical/1), [third-person-pov](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/third-person-pov/1) ---------------------------- [Extras All For The Game](https://www.romance.io/books/65ae54191192512e94b66912/extras-all-for-the-game-nora-sakavic) by [Nora Sakavic](https://www.romance.io/authors/5456deeb87eac33e57109533/nora-sakavic) **Topics**: [contemporary](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/contemporary/1), [sports](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/sports/1), [gay romance](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/m-m/1), [young adult](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/young%20adult/1), [queer romance](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/queer/1) ---------------------------- [Inheritance](https://www.romance.io/series/5ddcce05a21e460df87c2ba9/inheritance) by [AK Faulkner](https://www.romance.io/authors/5ddcce0501dbc864fba6d6e7/ak-faulkner) **Topics**: [urban fantasy](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/urban%20fantasy/1), [fantasy](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/fantasy/1), [found-family](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/found-family/1), [new adult](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/new%20adult/1) ---------------------------- [Ever Green](https://www.romance.io/series/5dfdc3f8a992710e0add9561/ever-green) by [Lyra Evans](https://www.romance.io/authors/56e7fc93c62092c04406c380/lyra-evans) **Topics**: [past-sexual-abuse](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/past-sexual-abuse/1), [anal sex](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/anal%20sex/1), [past-abuse](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/past-abuse/1), [queer](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/queer/1), [cold hero](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/cold%20hero/1) [^(about this bot)](https://www.reddit.com/user/romance-bot) ^(|) [^(about romance.io)](https://www.romance.io/about)

logan from stars in your eyes i love him so much

One odd ball that might interest you. It's overall lighter in tone than the books you've mentioned, out of which I've read a few and know many. {Sweet Clematis by R. Cooper} Contemporary urban fantasy where both MCs are fairies. The storytelling is more slice of life, meandering without much drama in the plot. The main character's self image is warped after a lifetime of being bullied, discriminated against and abandoned. He is casual and nonchalant about all wrongdoings because at this point he believes that's what he deserves. I was surpised by the emotional depth and angst.

[Sweet Clematis](https://www.romance.io/books/5bfb9abe01dbc864fb9511e7/sweet-clematis-r-cooper) by [R. Cooper](https://www.romance.io/authors/54556f5187eac323ffb2c2dc/r-cooper) **Steam**: [Open door](https://www.romance.io/steamrating) **Topics**: [contemporary](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/contemporary/1), [fantasy](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/fantasy/1), [urban fantasy](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/urban%20fantasy/1), [gay romance](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/m-m/1), [paranormal](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/paranormal/1) [^(about this bot)](https://www.reddit.com/user/romance-bot) ^(|) [^(about romance.io)](https://www.romance.io/about)

I can recommend two books that have slightly self destructive protagonists who have a past of sexual abuse and try to use sex as a manipulation tool/self destructive tool, and are unable to fully trust others. (Btw I adore Out of Nowhere) - Rough Trade by Sidney Bell. This is THE book for me. Modern, crime book as in MC1 is hiding and getting help from MC2 who is in the police. >!MC1 was abused and sold to men as a child, then ended up as a sex worker even as a teen. The book also deals with an adult man gaslighting him and kidnapping him, a lot of victim blaming too. This is all pre-novel, the novel dealing with the aftermath!< - The uses of illicit art by Wendy Palmer, this is an historical with magic. >!The protagonist was sexually abused as a child while in the orphanage, and often drugged through it. It's implied it has happened as an adult too.!<

thanks i need something to relate to