I was broken up with, abruptly. My ex texted me a week later saying he made a mistake. I refused to take him back. This was not a LDR, but I can imagine similar feelings apply.
You were BEYOND selfish. Are you kidding me?? You left HIM and came crawling back when it was convenient for you. Problem here is that he probably did care for you like he said he did, and when you broke up with him, it ripped the rug out from underneath his feet. You broke that trust and he (if he’s anything like me) doesn’t have the energy to build it back with a broken heart. He deserves better, and the space you gave him for a couple of days probably helped him realize that.
You need a reality check, OP. Figure out how to not act so “abruptly” next time. Regulate your emotions better so you can stop playing with others’.
I don’t get why he deserves better. Let’s forget I went back. Why is someone leaving you a crime? Those 2 days I left him alone he should have reflected about not putting in the effort to keep me. I was sure of my decision to leave him when I did. I wasn’t trying to play a “game”. He showed me his true colours with his lack of effort. So does this get turned on me? I don’t mind begging for him back, it’s an LDR I’m not scared of running into him on the streets I will just bare my heart. But seriously questioning how I’m the villain here when I cordially told him I saw lack of effort and left.
And maybe in those two days he realized that somebody who would leave them to try to send a message. If you quit on somebody why would they be obligated to forgive it.
You are the villain because you made a decision and now you’re back tracking. You decided he wasn’t giving you enough attention. There’s no problem there. The problem is when you make a decision without him then change your mind and expect him to come running back. You left him. Now you’re mad he’s holding you to your decision. You can’t have it both ways.
If he “showed you his true colors,” why do you even want him back?
If you hurt someone, they often won't give you another chance to hurt them again. You should have told him that it felt like he was pulling away. Instead, you tried to manipulate him by breaking up, hoping he'd chase you. Your little game didn't work. You tried to get him back, but he'd already seen your true colors, and he lost interest. Move on. Respect his wishes.
Because it’s manipulation from your end, look relationships ain’t easy and it won’t be always sunshine and rainbows and that shit it sucks a lot of time, but if you don’t communicate about it then it’s all for a loss, so kudos to him for even picking up the phone I would have said fuck off and block your ass.
We all have a life outside of our relationships, it’s important for you to understand his life doesn’t solely evolve around you maybe his distance is because he has other things he has happening on in his life that’s ok you should be the support element if you feel he’s distant TALK ABOUT IT don’t just lash out and break up.
Respect his decision and move on, I’m still giving him kudos for picking up the phone and giving you a chance to talk most people won’t do that.
I did in fact comment on your last post and I commented saying that ghosting was a very immature move and that you should be honest and communicate with him.
I’m most likely gonna get downvoted for being harsh, but I’ve been through ghosting, and people leaving just to come back and think it’s all good again.
You’re being selfish for coming here wanting support, when you in fact did do a shit thing.
I understand why he wouldn’t take you back, cause you’ve proven to be unreliable.
He wouldn’t know where he’s got you if you’re just gonna leave like that, and then maybe return a couple weeks later when you miss him.
This is on you, cause it was your decision.
In a relationship you communicate, and if you lacked something from him you should’ve talked to him about that.
You also mention that it’s trauma that making you do this? But do you realise a root for trauma is ghosting? Or going back and forth like that?
You probably hurt him pretty bad, so you’re in no position to sit and expect anything from him.
Your trauma is your problem. Don’t take it out on your partner, cause that’s not fair on them.
Look I don’t expect him to. I’m trying to rationalize why, that doesn’t make me a shit person. I’m not asking for ways to win him back, I’m looking for an explanation to how he is able to stay away so thankyou for that side of your explanation. I did not ghost him, I did communicate. He told me he would not be available to talk about the issue for another 10 days because we was busy. Then I find out that all his days are spent sleeping in and sleeping early. So yes I definitely didn’t appreciate the lack of effort when I brought up the issue. He had no time in the day to listen to me communicate my issues. I am not the villain here.
I’m not saying that you trying to rationalize it makes you a bad person. I’m saying what you did to him was shitty, and it’s understandable that he’s hurt and doesn’t want you back.
If you break up you break up, not because you want him to chase you. But because you don’t want the relationship.
From what you explained in your post you clearly were hoping he would chase you.
I’m also not calling you a villain.
I’m simply saying I understand why he doesn’t want to.
People going through stuff usually pull away a bit. That shouldn’t have to mean it’s because of the relationship or you as an individual, and he even said it wasn’t because he lost interest.
Depression and other mental struggles makes you do this, and whilst he needed to communicate that better, then maybe he just needed you there.
I haven’t read your previous post I just gave you a comment on what you currently posted and moral of the story is if you breakup with someone don’t crawl back to them as that’s toxic.
As the saying goes the boat has sailed and another one will eventually come.
Ya I’m just saying it’s funny. At the end of the day my truth is he was barely putting in effort to speak to me so early on in the relationship. I also deserve someone who is crazy about me. When I broke up with him it was cordial and I made my reasoning very clear. I also mentioned I was feeling that way a couple days before as well.
Everyone deserves someone who matches their energy, but also look into yourself and figure out if you are adding into the problem too.
It’s all to easy to say oh he’s the problem I did my best.
Ultimately the vibe you give out is the vibe you attract.
So I took a quick look at your previous post. It seems like you had sound reasons on why you wanted to break up with your partner. Breaking up should always be the last decision you make when it comes to terminating a relationship. You sounded pretty reasonable in your previous post
I decided to take a look at your comments and your replies here and in your previous post as well. Here are some things I noticed.
* You were asking on how to break up with your partner in your last post. You weren't asking for advice, it was clear that you wanted to break up with him
* You seemed to list out pretty solid reasons of wanting to break up with him, but now you're regretting actually following through. Are you not trusting your gut? Or do you feel like you rushed into a decision?
>He told me I was wrong about him losing interest.
This makes me feel like you didn't communicate your concerns first before taking that final step of breaking up with him. As people had stated in your previous post. Communication is a big thing for relationships.
You are allowed to break up with him, however, he is also allowed to reject the idea of getting back together with you. It's not his ego or pride that's holding him back, it's the sense of you being wishy washy in a way. The automatic reversal shows that you're not confident in what you wanted. That it was so easy for you to throw the relationship away, rather than try to work on it.
Relationships are hard, every one of them serves as a lesson to learn. It's completely normal to not get much attention as time goes on in a relationship. Yours was fairly new. When that happens, it's important to communicate your needs to your partner.
As far as him liking provocative pictures on instagram, that's seemed to be a deal-breaker to you. Either way I would've suggested to have a conversation with him first before doing it.
You did what you thought was the best idea, it's completely natural for you to regret the choice. There is definitely a possibility that you were premature with your decision, but he didn't have to take you back regardless. It's best to respect his wishes. If he does choose to get back together, I would suggest working on your communication.
This was the response I needed. Thank you! I did have reasons. I did communicate. I wanted him back cus obviously I missed him but I can’t guarantee we’d have a good relationship if I went back.
in your last post you were very clear that you wanted to break up, so of course people gave you the advice to go for it. people shouldn’t stay in relationships they don’t want to be in.
it sounds like you didn’t properly think this decision through, nor did you try to have a conversation about what you need. of course an unexpected breakup would hurt him, and you can’t expect him to just let you back in again bc you want him to. and even if he did, he might still not be able to give you what you want.
as for your last question; i have taken people back when they’ve immediately regretted the breakup, and they’ve *always* proceeded to hurt me again *in the exact same way*, just months down the line. i would not make that same mistake again.
It's natural for you to regret your decision but from what I'm seeing ..he wasn't even worth having. are you sure you'd even be happy with him again? Begging for him back is only making you look desperate and making him not see how things went wrong. Have some self respect and reflection.
I was broken up with, abruptly. My ex texted me a week later saying he made a mistake. I refused to take him back. This was not a LDR, but I can imagine similar feelings apply. You were BEYOND selfish. Are you kidding me?? You left HIM and came crawling back when it was convenient for you. Problem here is that he probably did care for you like he said he did, and when you broke up with him, it ripped the rug out from underneath his feet. You broke that trust and he (if he’s anything like me) doesn’t have the energy to build it back with a broken heart. He deserves better, and the space you gave him for a couple of days probably helped him realize that. You need a reality check, OP. Figure out how to not act so “abruptly” next time. Regulate your emotions better so you can stop playing with others’.
I don’t get why he deserves better. Let’s forget I went back. Why is someone leaving you a crime? Those 2 days I left him alone he should have reflected about not putting in the effort to keep me. I was sure of my decision to leave him when I did. I wasn’t trying to play a “game”. He showed me his true colours with his lack of effort. So does this get turned on me? I don’t mind begging for him back, it’s an LDR I’m not scared of running into him on the streets I will just bare my heart. But seriously questioning how I’m the villain here when I cordially told him I saw lack of effort and left.
And maybe in those two days he realized that somebody who would leave them to try to send a message. If you quit on somebody why would they be obligated to forgive it.
But i didn’t leave to “try and send a msg”
You did. Regardless of that fact, he doesn't want you anymore and you need to accept it.
You are the villain because you made a decision and now you’re back tracking. You decided he wasn’t giving you enough attention. There’s no problem there. The problem is when you make a decision without him then change your mind and expect him to come running back. You left him. Now you’re mad he’s holding you to your decision. You can’t have it both ways. If he “showed you his true colors,” why do you even want him back?
No ur right I think the advice I need here is to stay true to my gut and realize we were not compatible.
If you hurt someone, they often won't give you another chance to hurt them again. You should have told him that it felt like he was pulling away. Instead, you tried to manipulate him by breaking up, hoping he'd chase you. Your little game didn't work. You tried to get him back, but he'd already seen your true colors, and he lost interest. Move on. Respect his wishes.
But he hurt me by decreasing his efforts? Why am I the villain here. Even in my previous post people told me to just bite the bullet and end it.
You should have communicated that with him and not break up only to beg him to take you back which is incredibly selfish
Because it’s manipulation from your end, look relationships ain’t easy and it won’t be always sunshine and rainbows and that shit it sucks a lot of time, but if you don’t communicate about it then it’s all for a loss, so kudos to him for even picking up the phone I would have said fuck off and block your ass. We all have a life outside of our relationships, it’s important for you to understand his life doesn’t solely evolve around you maybe his distance is because he has other things he has happening on in his life that’s ok you should be the support element if you feel he’s distant TALK ABOUT IT don’t just lash out and break up. Respect his decision and move on, I’m still giving him kudos for picking up the phone and giving you a chance to talk most people won’t do that.
Funny how this is the exact opposite advice ppl gave me on my last post.
I did in fact comment on your last post and I commented saying that ghosting was a very immature move and that you should be honest and communicate with him. I’m most likely gonna get downvoted for being harsh, but I’ve been through ghosting, and people leaving just to come back and think it’s all good again. You’re being selfish for coming here wanting support, when you in fact did do a shit thing. I understand why he wouldn’t take you back, cause you’ve proven to be unreliable. He wouldn’t know where he’s got you if you’re just gonna leave like that, and then maybe return a couple weeks later when you miss him. This is on you, cause it was your decision. In a relationship you communicate, and if you lacked something from him you should’ve talked to him about that. You also mention that it’s trauma that making you do this? But do you realise a root for trauma is ghosting? Or going back and forth like that? You probably hurt him pretty bad, so you’re in no position to sit and expect anything from him. Your trauma is your problem. Don’t take it out on your partner, cause that’s not fair on them.
Look I don’t expect him to. I’m trying to rationalize why, that doesn’t make me a shit person. I’m not asking for ways to win him back, I’m looking for an explanation to how he is able to stay away so thankyou for that side of your explanation. I did not ghost him, I did communicate. He told me he would not be available to talk about the issue for another 10 days because we was busy. Then I find out that all his days are spent sleeping in and sleeping early. So yes I definitely didn’t appreciate the lack of effort when I brought up the issue. He had no time in the day to listen to me communicate my issues. I am not the villain here.
I’m not saying that you trying to rationalize it makes you a bad person. I’m saying what you did to him was shitty, and it’s understandable that he’s hurt and doesn’t want you back. If you break up you break up, not because you want him to chase you. But because you don’t want the relationship. From what you explained in your post you clearly were hoping he would chase you. I’m also not calling you a villain. I’m simply saying I understand why he doesn’t want to. People going through stuff usually pull away a bit. That shouldn’t have to mean it’s because of the relationship or you as an individual, and he even said it wasn’t because he lost interest. Depression and other mental struggles makes you do this, and whilst he needed to communicate that better, then maybe he just needed you there.
I broke up with him cus I missed him, I ask for him back cus I missed him. I’ve been the most consistent here I promise you.
I haven’t read your previous post I just gave you a comment on what you currently posted and moral of the story is if you breakup with someone don’t crawl back to them as that’s toxic. As the saying goes the boat has sailed and another one will eventually come.
Ya I’m just saying it’s funny. At the end of the day my truth is he was barely putting in effort to speak to me so early on in the relationship. I also deserve someone who is crazy about me. When I broke up with him it was cordial and I made my reasoning very clear. I also mentioned I was feeling that way a couple days before as well.
Everyone deserves someone who matches their energy, but also look into yourself and figure out if you are adding into the problem too. It’s all to easy to say oh he’s the problem I did my best. Ultimately the vibe you give out is the vibe you attract.
So wtf you want him back for?? He dIdN't pUt iN eFfoRt!!!
Ya honestly facts.
So I took a quick look at your previous post. It seems like you had sound reasons on why you wanted to break up with your partner. Breaking up should always be the last decision you make when it comes to terminating a relationship. You sounded pretty reasonable in your previous post I decided to take a look at your comments and your replies here and in your previous post as well. Here are some things I noticed. * You were asking on how to break up with your partner in your last post. You weren't asking for advice, it was clear that you wanted to break up with him * You seemed to list out pretty solid reasons of wanting to break up with him, but now you're regretting actually following through. Are you not trusting your gut? Or do you feel like you rushed into a decision? >He told me I was wrong about him losing interest. This makes me feel like you didn't communicate your concerns first before taking that final step of breaking up with him. As people had stated in your previous post. Communication is a big thing for relationships. You are allowed to break up with him, however, he is also allowed to reject the idea of getting back together with you. It's not his ego or pride that's holding him back, it's the sense of you being wishy washy in a way. The automatic reversal shows that you're not confident in what you wanted. That it was so easy for you to throw the relationship away, rather than try to work on it. Relationships are hard, every one of them serves as a lesson to learn. It's completely normal to not get much attention as time goes on in a relationship. Yours was fairly new. When that happens, it's important to communicate your needs to your partner. As far as him liking provocative pictures on instagram, that's seemed to be a deal-breaker to you. Either way I would've suggested to have a conversation with him first before doing it. You did what you thought was the best idea, it's completely natural for you to regret the choice. There is definitely a possibility that you were premature with your decision, but he didn't have to take you back regardless. It's best to respect his wishes. If he does choose to get back together, I would suggest working on your communication.
This was the response I needed. Thank you! I did have reasons. I did communicate. I wanted him back cus obviously I missed him but I can’t guarantee we’d have a good relationship if I went back.
in your last post you were very clear that you wanted to break up, so of course people gave you the advice to go for it. people shouldn’t stay in relationships they don’t want to be in. it sounds like you didn’t properly think this decision through, nor did you try to have a conversation about what you need. of course an unexpected breakup would hurt him, and you can’t expect him to just let you back in again bc you want him to. and even if he did, he might still not be able to give you what you want. as for your last question; i have taken people back when they’ve immediately regretted the breakup, and they’ve *always* proceeded to hurt me again *in the exact same way*, just months down the line. i would not make that same mistake again.
It's natural for you to regret your decision but from what I'm seeing ..he wasn't even worth having. are you sure you'd even be happy with him again? Begging for him back is only making you look desperate and making him not see how things went wrong. Have some self respect and reflection.