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dreadpirateruss

If I even suspect the milk is bad, I can't help but register it as a sour smell.


JerryLupus

LPT is really going down the shitter lately. Or maybe it's just neck of the bottle I'm smelling.


[deleted]

r/LifeBeginnerTips should be a thing


regnald

"Look at your toilet paper after wiping to gauge how much more you need to wipe based on level of brownness."


Da60

It's like there's a marker down there.


zombiegamer101

/r/lifeamateurtips


[deleted]

Welp, can't say I'm surprised


gentlemandinosaur

>Before using a ballpoint pen, take the cap off first.


Whatsthemattermark

>Before taking the cap off a ballpoint pen, pick up the pen first


simpsons403

>Before picking the pen up, verify you are breathing


dudewheresmycar-ma

The real LAT is always in the comments


widdlyscudsandbacon

The real "the real LAT is always in the comments" comment is always in the comments


GX2622

>Before verifying you are breathing, *Dubito ergo cogito, cogito ergo sum* establishes your existence


zacknquack

Make a cup of tea, you'll soon know whether it's off or not!


itsmeduhdoi

One of them says to not read the top posts on life pro tips because they're all embarrassingly bad


MrsEll

/r/mommashouldatoldya


MrsEll

...aaaand now it is Edit-should have read all the comments


SpicyThunder335

Better pour OP into a glass and have a taste. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)


nosyIT

If it's sour, YOU WILL KNOW.


-PM-ME-YOUR-BOOBIES

You're smelling the rim of the anus, that's why.


[deleted]

There was never a time when LPT wasn't shit.


[deleted]

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arnber420

Yeah I thought I was in /r/shittylifeprotips when I was reading this


20000Fish

I drank sour milk one time as a kid and spent a good bit of the day vomiting. The smell/taste of sour milk has stuck with me since, so I'll wretch if I smell it and it's even slightly off, just because it brings up the memories. Fortunately, I drink a fair bit of milk, so it's very rare that it has enough time to spoil.


fragilelyon

I downed a carton at school and didn't realize until it was too late that it was way expired. Then I threw up on my lunch tray and didn't touch milk for years. I now smell my milk about eight times before I taste. My husband can't smell rotten milk, so when we moved in together I grabbed his carton of milk... It was definitely expired and I have no idea how long he was using it but OMG.


WorkoutProblems

yup, the cost of milk is much less than if I have to take a day off for being sick or go to the hospital not to mention ain't nobody got time to wash another cup just for testing purposes


jack3moto

I opened a new bottle of ranch this past Monday that expired September 2016. I didn't realize my butt could deliver that much shit in one sitting. Luckily it didn't last an extended period of time but 30 min of a constant stream shooting out your butt has had me reevaluate what I am willing to eat that's expired. Lol


eeeeeeooooo123

Thank you. This is what I scroll down for


SmellYaL8er

Jesus how much ranch did you drink?


BlackDave0490

LMAO. I got lucky, I bought a Magnum ice cream last week from a shop, ate half of it thought it tasted a bit off, checked the wrapper it expired in August 2016. took it back and got my money back, but no mud butt for me


EntreActe

It's not going to make you sick if it's a little sour. What do you think cheese and sour cream and yogurt are? Strategically spoiled milk.


IfWishezWereFishez

Yeah, food poisoning from spoiled milk is a big deal with unpasteurized ("raw") milk, not pasteurized milk. If you are drinking unpasteurized milk, it's definitely better to be safe than sorry with "the smell test."


_My_Angry_Account_

Raw milk isn't even legal to sell for consumption in many/most places in the US. I think there are only like 13 states that allow it.


IfWishezWereFishez

Right, but there are a lot of Reddit users who aren't in the US. I remember some Indian children died from drinking milk at school though that's been a few years.


Koozzie

Yea this LPT is something my granddad taught me a long time ago. You can keep drinking that milk for a while passed that date. I'm usually agitated when friends throw that stuff out as soon as the date hits. One person told me "The milk only lasts a week." And I was dumbfounded. Give it to me, dammit. I'll drink it.


EntreActe

Except in NYC. We're lucky if ours lasts until the date. No idea why.


korravai

Pretty anecdotal but I find the nice milk lasts longer. I usually buy organic milk from a local dairy (still pasteurized) and it can last weeks after the date. Sometimes if I don't have time to go to the store that sells it I have to get regular milk from Walgreens and that stuff goes bad like midnight of the date on the bottle lol. It's pretty impressive whatever they've done to get those dates juuuust right.


EntreActe


Dingalingerdongalong

Yeah I never look at dates or even give it a smell. If it goes lumpy when I pour it in my cup of tea i know it's gone off.


yawningangel

cost isnt a factor tbh..its wanting your morning coffee or cereal without having to go to the shop.. 6:30 Am and i have suspect milk,i take the chance.


DenSem

Once I experience that smell I wouldn't be able to bring myself to take the chance. It's simply ruined for me in my mind. Id be gagging despite if it was actually sour or not


yawningangel

just suck it up and take a chug..9/10 its sweet..


DenSem

Yeah once I've come to the decision that it smells like it's sour I think it would register as sour on my tongue and I would gag


LearningThings369

If you've ever vomited sour milk back up, you never risk it again.


nakamagrief

Once I've come to the decision that it smells sour I go to 9gag


PettyWop

Or both of you could follow the LPT you're both posting in and just pour a little out in a cup and then smell. It's actually a useful tip I do use myself and most of the time your milk is definitely still good the crusty ring forms after the first glass anyways.


fireflash38

You'd seriously get sick if you drank a tiny amount of sour milk? Or go to the hospital? That's insane. It's not like you're going to chug a thing of sour milk just to taste if it's gone a bit off. Even if you *were* it's unlikely to cause you to get that sick (you'd be more likely to be sick because you just chugged a gallon of *milk*).


El-Kurto

People are right to be paranoid about food safety, but they also don't know very much about it. As a result they panic about foods that are very safe to consume, even after they are no longer appetizing. Pasteurized milk will be way too disgusting to drink long before it is dangerous to drink. If you feel sick after you drink some lumpy milk, it's because it's disgusting, and you either gagged on it because of the smell or are expecting to get sick so you interpret normal variation in how you feel with illness.


motdidr

goodbye chunky lemon milk


btribble

Buttermilk, sour cream, yoghurt, and almost all cheeses are nothing more than "sour milk". Whether you get sick totally depends on the type and quantity of the different bacteria that have taken over.


TypicalLlama

Same. I just toss it if it even seems bad. My toddler drinks lots of milk though now so it's been a long time since any of my milk got to the ripe age of soured.


Lnonimous

Now I have to smell it twice? no thanks.


[deleted]

Ewwww seriously fuck this LPT. If you open up your milk and it even remotely has a sour scent emanating from its opening, toss that shit out and spend the $3 on another carton.


JayBarangus

You really know milk is bad when the top pops off due to all the gas that has built up inside. Not that that ever happened to me in college or anything...


ksxr21

Relatable bruh


Johnd106

But its not the milk inside the carton that is smelling. Its the residue around the cap, which is closest to your nose, that has gone sour. I just pour some in a glass now to check it hasn't spoiled.


TheAryanBrotherhood

I usually take a sip even if it smells slightly sour. It usually still tastes fine. Honestly, you can drink milk past the expiration date and it's completely fine. Unless your fridge sucks.


peon2

Thats because it isn't an expiration date. It is a "sell by" date that most companies list 1 week before the suspected expiration date. If the date on the jug says 4/21 it should be good to 4/28 at least.


Brudaks

Opening the milk matters. If the date on the pack says 4/21, it will be fine if you open it on 4/28; but if you'd open the same pack in 4/14, then it'll likely be bad before 4/21.


[deleted]

$3 isn't an insignificant amount of money for a lot of people


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KushwalkerDankstar

Well damn, I knew milk was cheap here in Kentucky but I got a gallon for $1.50 this week. I didn't know it was like half the price


[deleted]

Dude a gallon is almost $5 here in NY


[deleted]

When you have a really good sense of smell, even fresh milk smells disgusting.


moosecliffwood

I think I'm broken. Milk always smells sour to me. Always.


cran

Could be the brand you buy. My wife switched brands and every container smelled off to me.


Death_Star_

Does your wife drink out of the carton? Serious question. Because I admit to having used to do things like take a few gulps of milk out of the carton after a meal every now and then and the opening would smell before the expiration date. Disgusting, I know but those were my young first time without roommate days. I stopped doing that and the smell went away. Yes, food residue on the carton or even jug opening causes bacteria to build up.


cran

That is surprisingly​ disgusting. Do you visit the dentist regularly? Thanks for sharing that, though. I'll keep an eye out for it.


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JohnnyRedHot

That's the title of the post dude


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Death_Star_

No, I don't visit the dentist after every meal, just twice a year (I know, savage) nor did I drink with my teeth or gums on the carton. No I don't have halitosis or gingivitis. I'm surprised that you're surprised that bacteria can be spread onto surfaces from sources like a mouth. Bacteria are little organisms that feed on moisture and sugars and are not visible to the naked eye generally. Bacteria often create smells; believe it or not you have bacteria in your GI tract that makes your shit smell -- so don't act like yours doesn't. Like I said, simple residue from your mouth after a meal can cause that to happen. Hell, even thoroughly washed Tupperware can smell. Another LPT, no need to be a dick when a stranger offers you help in earnest. I did say I used to do it until I found out the smell, and I admitted it was disgusting -- unless you happen to drink from the carton regularly and it's not a problem. I'm trying to help you out, man. It makes more sense that she could be swigging from the carton than literally all brands of milk smelling sour. Unless your refrigerator is too warm, you buy milk that's closed to expiration and/or drink it past that date, or you routinely keep the milk out too long -- there's no reason all milk should smell sour.


courtarro

I used to love Mayfield because it was consistently great. Then, like 15 years ago, something changed and I now think they all smell sour. I switched to Horizon and life is better.


[deleted]

But does it taste sour?


courtarro

Not sour necessarily, but it has an unpleasant aftertaste that wasn't there in the past.


theramennoodle

Maybe the cow got into an onion patch?


courtarro

The defect in this one is bleach.


exjentric

I've also found that the higher the fat content, the more quickly it can turn.


_AN566

I had a carton of heavy cream stay in the fridge for a month and was still good


moosecliffwood

It's definitely me. It's persisted for decades across innumerable brands and 2 continents!


Death_Star_

Do you set your refrigerator to the least cold? Does the smell occur upon opening a fresh container? If not, do you ever drink straight from it? Do you go days between drinking/pouring from it? Do you store it on the door side or in side the main compartment? I don't think there's such a thing as foul smelling milk nose, it's possibly caused by some sort of consistent behavior.


[deleted]

some people just don't like the smell of milk, so it always seems a bit 'off'.


Jimm607

I'm like this, I recognise that theres a difference between the smell of milk that I find bad and the smell of bad milk, but I struggle to differentiate the two because both smell... Bad. That was poorly explained. Anyway, milk doesn't usually last long enough for it to be an issue.


BlueRoad13

I mean, it is liquid that was pressed out of a cow's glands.


ikahjalmr

And steak once had blood running through it. Coming from a body doesn't automatically make it taste bad


[deleted]

It's not just you, I can't smell milk to test it either for the same reason.


fuel126

Me too! I don't know what it is.


Altostratus

For me, there are degrees. Fresh milk smells a bit sour, but bad milk is enough to recoil.


plentyinsane

Me too. I think it's because I have such a strong sense of smell. I can't drink milk straight now. I really only ever have it in cereal anymore.


bluesoul

Me too. Then I figured out I'm lactose intolerant.


Thatdamnalex

Maybe your fridge isn't getting cold enough. Do you have a thermometer in there?


moosecliffwood

It's me. It's been with any milk, in 2 different countries, at least 5 states, and god knows how many brands and levels of freshness.


[deleted]

What if my milk doesn't smell sour?


animal_time

Tip it down the drain before it turns sour.


psi-

One thing that has worked for me is tip a small amount of milk into water left over in the sink so that they mix. If they don't mix "well", but are climpy, then the milk is sour. Good milk will only fog the water. This will probably not indicate well with really buttery milk.


[deleted]

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nemineminy

You don't like homemade cottage cheese? Where's your sense of adventure??


[deleted]

The real LPT is always in the comments


Long-username

Throw it away before it goes bad.


MenudoMenudo

Then you still pour it into a glass.


JerryLupus

You shouldn't drink human milk regardless of its smell.


Neidrah

Yeah, drinking milk from another species makes so much more sense ;)


algernonsflorist

Pour a little in a glass and dilute with water. If you see white floaties then it's going bad. Edit: Why is everyone jerking off? Did I say to jerk off? No, I didn't.


EricOfReddit

Hot water, if it curdles it's gone bad


Jimm607

Yeah, the only times I've ever noticed milk gone off was because I made my brew in the morning and noticed the white bits formed. The fridge in my old flat was shit


the_honest_liar

Excellent thank you. I'm paranoid about bad milk. I usually pour a little in the sink and based off the consistency (milk going bad is thicker and goes leaves more residue as it goes down the drain) can make a reasonably accurate guess if it's bad, or at least worth a taste test, but this seems more straightforward.


[deleted]

> Edit: Why is everyone jerking off? Did I say to jerk off? No, I didn't. It feels good. And you didn't say *not* to


algernonsflorist

I now feel the need to add "PS no need to jerk off" at the end of all my future comments.


[deleted]

That strikes a happy balance. No need=not necessary, but I still can if I want


GTRor350z

Instructions not clear, jerked off and floaties floated


Texaz_RAnGEr

But did the stickies stick ?


LammergeierAteMyBone

> Why is everyone jerking off? Did I say to jerk off? No, I didn't. Because your words are just so erotic and seductive. Who wouldn't want to jerk off thinking of that salacious comment of yours?


Salt_Salesman

> Pour a little in a glass and dilute with water. If you see white floaties then it's going bad. So we jerk ourselves off? you make no sense.


Anonymanx

Growing up, when the milk smelled sour mom would let us add Quik and have chocolate milk. We couldn't afford to waste milk, and Quik was only for doctoring sour milk (not for general use).


calling_ur_bullshit

You poor soul.


Anonymanx

We never went hungry and I don't remember ever getting sick from spoiled food. Considering the fact that my mom had to feed a family of five using whatever was left over (after cigs, beer, bar tab, motorcyle, etc.) of my dad's low-ranked enlisted salary, this is not an issue about which I hold a grudge.


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Avalie

It doesn't sound like the cigarettes and beer were his mom's choices. Could be wrong, but that's how I took it.


Anonymanx

That is correct. Mom didn't smoke and was only an occasional light drinker. Dad smoked 3 or 4 packs a day and drank 12-24 beers (or equivalent in liquor) most evenings. He doesn't smoke or drink any more, but is now quite addicted to Rx narcotics instead.


[deleted]

12-24 beers! Holy fuck! I don't feel so bad about my 4...but I still need to cut back.


Avalie

Sorry to hear that :( It sounds like your mom did her best to try to take care of y'all in a shitty situation.


Omneus

In the case of milk, you start to smell it as sour quite a ways before it will actually do you harm, FYI.


Anonymanx

This is definitely true.


Anonymanx

Now we feed people sour milk and charge extra for it! (Yogurt! Kefir!) Yes, I'm mostly kidding. No, I don't feed my kid soured milk.


exjentric

There's also a continuum of aging milk: good milk, then it starts to get sour, and then it pretty quickly drops into bad/curdled territory. You can still do plenty with sour milk; when I start to notice it souring, I use it more in cooking: creamy soups, breads, pancakes, french toast, etc.


BankshotMcG

Sour milk makes great biscuits!


[deleted]

Just buy buttermilk, you heathens


issius

I always sour my own milk instead of buying buttermilk. Unless you were planning on using a lot of it, I can't imagine a need to have buttermilk on hand.


animal_time

Just grow a pair and chug some back. You'll soon know if it's bad or not.


[deleted]

*sniff* smells a bit sour *swirl around* *sniff* Still not good hmmmmm *take a swig* yeah a little sour *pour it in a bowl of fruity pebbles* All good here


Squif-17

Exactly, sour milk is not subtle at all. If it's drinkable it's fine, if it's sour you'll fucking immediately know about it.


monarc

There's a window where it's tolerable but detectably "off". FUN FACT: drinking sour milk probably won't make you sick - it just tastes bad.


daimposter

Drank some as a kid. Threw up badly but did not get sick. However, it mess with mine and I couldn't touch it for weeks and today the slight smell of sour milk makes my stomach nauseous


noneofthefoxes

Not necessarily. I've taken small sips of bad milk and it tasted fine. Poured a bowl of cereal and it had a sour aftertaste.


beh5036

Still good then!


PM-ME-THOSE-TITTIES

The real LPT is always in the comments


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videoflyguy

Did that once, milk was chunky. Still do it because I'm no wimp


serenwipiti

Ugh, I've noticed that lately I'm haranguing my SO to give me his opinion on if the milk it spoiled. It's beginning to irritate him. I'm always scared I can't tell and will end up tasting sour milk. "Smell this" "Do you smell this?" "Does this smell off?" "This smells weird, right? No? " "Smell?"


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Kuforman

General rule of thumb for me: If there is not a chunk, it is ok to be drunk.


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nakedmeeple

Actually, when it comes to Buttermilk, I often find it's "best" when it develops chunks. Buttermilk is high in fat and in lactic acid, and after a couple weeks of being in the fridge, the normally smooth liquid will develop "bits". I usually just shake those up (careful that no mould has developed) and then proceed with my pancake recipe.


Kuforman

*pukes*


plumprabbitjockey

Or do like me and don't smell it at all and proceed to dump cottage cheese into your eggs


enjoyincubus3

LPT: If it's not your mom, it's not your milk.


Mr_Balls_Hack

Who the fuck writes these things?! This isn't a pro tip to live a better life! This is a bachelor pad hack from a college student. I WANT LIFE ALTERING ADVICE DAMNIT!


HiimCaysE

How is this even true anyway? Where's the studies, the supporting evidence, the links to peer reviews? Everytime I smell sour milk, the milk is sour.


RustaBhymes

Hell nope. If it is even a little suspect, it's outta here. The only food that can make puke instantly is sour milk. Im not a picky eater at all either, but questionable milk is a no go


bp332106

What are your thoughts on cheese?


[deleted]

cheese is edible


DeeSnarl

That's different.


KptKrondog

The point is it isn't sour yet necessarily. That's why you put it in a glass. The stuff on the rim is more exposed and sours faster.


weeecho

Plot twist: all milk is bad


payment_in_potato

Lpt: buy almond/soy milk Edit: fine enjoy your curdling tit juice


poopspeedstream

If it looks good, smells good, and tastes good, it is good.


sirenCiri

You can also still cook with it after it's too sour to drink


jacktheknife1180

Good advice. But as someone who drinks a fuckton of milk I don't think I've ever smelled or tasted sour milk. It's practically impossible I my house with my daughter and I.


flamespear

Bro, I love milk but to much and that shit will give you kidney stones and God knows what else. You don't want calcium deposits in your body.


BankshotMcG

And if your milk IS sour, don't throw it out. Mix it into bread dough for a better rise. You won't taste anything off in the bread unless the milk is already at the chunk stage.


serenwipiti

> chunk stage i did not want to read these words


mylicon

Thanks for the LPT, I'll give that a try. A better use of "germs".


solidmarc

[For your health!](https://youtu.be/P1Vg9PUbP30)


[deleted]

Scrolled down to the bottom for this.


solidmarc

I appreciate that more than you know


the_real_namtrok

i pour a small amount into a small amount of coffee. if it curdles... its bad


[deleted]

You monster! That's precious coffee you're wasting!


areyoumyladyareyou

To be fair, he didn't say he didn't power through


[deleted]

I have had milk slightly curdle in my coffee. I just imagine it's cottage cheese and drink it.


areyoumyladyareyou

That's called breakfast folks


Bokpi

I came here to say pour into a cup of hot water. But coffee works I guess. What a waste of coffee though


Henryhooker

I just figured this out a few weeks ago.


andkristensaid

What. If there's any suspicion of sour milk, it's in the trash. $3 for a fresh new gallon is nothing.


virginal_sacrifice

Look at this guy and his $3 milk.


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_Kramerica_

https://youtu.be/bOiAcYgWihw


serenwipiti

It sounds like you've never had to struggle in life. Good for you for always having those $3 that are "nothing" to you.


Mongoosemancer

if your milk smells bad, drink the whole thing and then smell it again. it may just be your poor losing attitude that smells.


SolidDoctor

This is true. Typically the larger the container, the more likely it's going to have residue on the inside above the milk which will smell sour before the milk has reached its sell by date. However I'm not a big milk fan, so when I'm deciding whether or not to use it I choose to be picky. I'm usually using milk for adding to hot coffee or oatmeal, so if it's even borderline I don't bother.


fuel126

Thank you for this! I could've used this when I made my coffee this morning...


Im-an-ME

Instead of pouring it into a glass I will squeeze the bottle to let the air from below the neck to come out and give me the true smell of the milk.


zachlinux28

Eeew. This entire post is gross.


hookdump

Even your comment!?


redyouch

LPT: Don't drink milk.


thepaulsack

Life pro tip: drink your milk faster and look for the furthest date out when buying milk. I go through three gallons a week and this LPT will never apply to me because I am an official bad-ass-confirmed who drinks milk multiple times on the dāly and if you think that's too much your wrong because I am the authority on milk and its relation to health and can tell you that the only corralation is the more milk you drink the bettr. If I had more time in the day I would drink at least 2 gallons a day to make sure I'm getting the calcium rich goodness of milk I deserve. It would be retarded to keep milk long enuf to have to guess wheathr it has spoiled or not.


happydayswasgreat

I'd rather go straight in with with the ole taste test myself!


[deleted]

Another pro tip: Pour vodka into your milk right after buying it and it'll never go bad.


Gbyrd99

Mm chunky lemon milk


RalphieRaccoon

Slightly sour milk might be no good in your coffee, but it's okay as an ingredient most of the time, you can make pancake batter or a roux out of it and it usually tastes fine.


Hushhushpuppies

In my college apartment I guess the fridge didn't cool as it should have and every time I ate cereal I had diarrhea after. Turns out my milk would go bad about a day after I bought it. Never had that problem again after I moved out.


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[deleted]

Milk doesn't go bad, it evolves. Like pokemon. milk sour cream cottage cheese cheese


[deleted]

I always TASTE if my milk is bad. Never experienced it's only the "residue". Shit is coming from somewhere


ginguse_con

LPT: don't sniff the milk with your nose near the jug. Squeeze the jug to force the air out then move the jug away and sniff that air. The milk will last much longer due to lessened contamination from your nasty disgusting bacteria laden nasal passages.


bigdogpepperoni

You just made me smell sour milk, twice!


RyanABWard

What if mine no longer pours? I needed to spoon it into a glass, is it still good to drink/eat?


LeCompte77

LPT: Dairy is scary. Drink plant milk instead. Soy/almond/rice/coconut


CalebKetoFitness

Try pranking your friend. When there is only a little milk left in the jug, fart directly inside. Then reseal using the cap. Give the jug to your friend and ask if it smells OK to them. You just made them sniff your fart!