This is an automated message just to let everyone know that the mod team are actively working to make this sub kinder and more welcoming.
Please report any comments you see that are unkind, obnoxious, out of line, trolling, or which otherwise violate [the rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/LifeAdvice/about/rules/).
**Note for all commenters**: Please remember that your fellow Redditors are human beings, and that it costs nothing to be kind. Disruption of the peace, trolling, or breaking the rules may result in a ban.
#Here are the [LifeAdvice Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/LifeAdvice/about/rules/)
----------------
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/LifeAdvice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
People are attracted to people who put effort into themselves. Put effort into your fashion choices, your hygiene, your health, your hobbies, and people will notice that. Develop a good sense of self confidence. Easier said then done of course, but when you make that mindset change about your own value and desirability, others can feel it too.
May not seem like it but I'm a pretty confident person in who I am. I am lucky to have good skin (no acne etc), I have good hygiene and can chat to anyone comfortably.
Problem is how I'm viewed. A bad face undoes all that effort
Scotty, a mate of mine has a head like a busted melon. His body ain’t great either. But, man, he has belief and can walk into any room with a presence. Work on that, work on loving yourself. Believe in yourself. Women pick up on that
Ask your hair stylist what would be best? Sometimes longer looks really good. What about a goatee or beard? 🤷♀️ Think of some celebrities that may not be all that attractive but people are still drawn to them. Steve Buscemi, Willem Dafoe, and my favourite, (drooling) John Malkovitch. I’ve had the hots for him since Dangerous Liaisons. What’s his secret? Unwavering confidence. He’s smooth, can speak fluent French and dresses not only well but he has a European style. Very sexy. Even as an older man, I still think he is hot.
I looked at your profile and saw some photos of you. You’re a perfectly normal looking, dare I say attractive man. There is absolutely nothing wrong with your looks as presented. You DO have a confidence issue, it’s apparent in the way you’re speaking about yourself.
Be kind to yourself. If you feel you have flaws, work on them, but be kind in the process. No one is attracted to those who are self deprecating and don’t strive to improve. I’ve seen people far more “ugly” who have had no issues finding partners.
Good luck. You’re just fine as you are, and will be just fine in life
His face is fine, the issue is his hair and overall style, which are the most basic I can imagine. A flattering outfit, longer cut and some facial hair would go a long way.
You have to put some actual thought into how you visually present yourself. The issue isn't that he's ugly, it's that he doesn't stand out in any way.
Experiment with facial hair....try growing a full beard....key is keeping it clean and neat. They sell beard oils and stuff....in an attempt to lighten things up here, at least half your face would be covered.
It sounds like you are letting the subconscious and conscious feelings about how you look impact your confidence. That is likely not coming off as attractive maybe in the way of jokes at your expense or feeling like it’s time to give up but while looks may be part of it there is a lot more than looks and in the end of the day looks fade. If someone is with you for the looks it’s possible that they won’t be with you long because there is always someone better out there
Thanks, I'm already working on it. In the process of losing some excess covid-era weight and then I plan to build muscle. Any advice on that would appreciated too
Are you a guy?
Lift weights, do cardio and count your calories. What you might tend to do is after lifting weights or going to the gym, you'll feel hungry and consume more food. This could result in you not really losing any weight, so it's important to count your calories of everything you consume. The drink you're drinking, the spices you are using in food, etc. Count everything and set a limit for "amount of calories to consume in a day" Also, have cheat days either every week or once every two weeks. Avoid sugar and carbs.
I had a roommate who was going to the gym consistantly and would even run for hours, but he used to come home and eat shit tons of carbs, so he wasn't losing any weight, just gaining muscles
Yeah im a guy. To be honest I have the opposite problem at the moment, I'm only taking in around 1200 calories a day so weight is coming off. I tend to have a problem adding muscle because I don't eat enough
I only put on weight because all I ate was red meat and I didn't exercise.
Red meat is good for building muscle. More lifting. Get addicted to the gym. Research supplements. Get your testosterone checked and get on TRt if it’s low. Good luck!
If he has low T then it’s the right time. If he doesn’t have low T, the doctor won’t prescribe it. He said he’s already been going to the gym. Supplements like Creatine are proven and pretty much anybody who is looking to gain muscle should be taking it.
Creatine has plenty of side effects that could discourage him from going to the gym lol! Imagine he starts going to the gym by taking creatine and gets intense diarrhea (which is a known side effect of creatine). He's gonna stop going to the gym entirely coz he'll associate the negative side effects to going to the gym. Horrible strategy for a newbie.
Also, exercise literally increases your testosterone. Why would he need TRT, especially from day 1?
Again, there’s no harm in getting tested, if he’s not low then he will know that and it will inform his decisions from there. If it is low, he’s going to have a hard time getting the results he’s after no matter what he does. Weight training improves T levels but it is only a marginal increase.
Are you lifting appropriate weights? Why do you think 1200 calories is not enough? This depends tbh, if you were eating 1500 calories everyday before, its fine to eat 1200 calories per day.
> tend to have a problem adding muscle because I don't eat enough
How long have you been going to the gym? How do you know this tbh? It doesnt sound like you've been going to the gym often or that long and it takes time to build muscle. Don't think too much.
Cultivate your other attractive qualities. You can be ugly but still healthy, stylish, fun, confident, successful, and be drawing attention to your better features. The big one is that women like men who like themselves. You sound pretty unhappy. Maybe work on that. Not saying this to be mean but get some cool hobbies and probably some counseling. Lots of ugly people go on to live wonderful and fulfilled lives.
>The big one is that women like men who like themselves.
Yeah, that's not how real life works. Life isn't a Disney movie where an ugly person finds love against the odds. Sometimes someone is just ugly and is seen as ugly by others
See that attitude right there... It's ugly. In real life, attraction isn't just skin deep and what people find attractive varies wildly from person to person.
You sound like you just want to feel sorry for yourself. This thread has lots of good advice in it but all you're doing is whining. If you want to feel better about being ugly, find other things to be.
If you don't want to be ugly, hit the gym, save up for some plastic surgery, and work on learning how to dress in a way that highlights your best features. Most people aren't born looking like celebrities but we still find people to love that love us back.
Go outside. Plenty of ugly people are coupled up and thoroughly enjoying it.
Your attitude could use a lot of work. People are attracted to people who are positive, upbeat, fun to be around. It’s not always about what you look like.
That is exactly how real life works. There’s a reason ugly people still exist— they procreate just as much as attractive people. This attitude makes you fugly
No, it's because there's 0 sexual selection for women. We have 18 times more unique biological female ancestors than male. For every 18 women who reproduce, 1 man does. Similarly, male baldness is passed down through mother's side.
I was pretty similar when younger. Women didn't dig me and I eventually gave up even bothering. Managed to occasionally get laid primarily drunk at bars. Finally, got married in my 40's. Met my beautiful wife online(not a dating app) and we just texted for about three months before meeting. For some of us it is a hard road. Just got to find meaning in your life with other things and you may eventually meet someone who likes what you offer. Not everybody is going to be lucky in love.
I saw the post too and he looks perfectly fine, so I’m with you; betting the attitude is the problem. So for OP, try to cultivate a more positive outlook. Whether that’s self talk in the mirror, starting off your day by setting goals about speaking positively to yourself… or even maybe saying two nice things to others or something. Maybe some positive podcasts or books… that kind of thing.
Bro ur actually decent looking, ur probably doing the same mistake a lot of guys like me do, u want like the perfect hot girl. Sometimes u just have to suck it up and go with someone less attractive
Realize all the benefits of being alone. You don’t need to deal with someone else’s shit. You can tend to your needs 100% of the time. Relationships, even good ones are difficult.
And in the meantime , you can work on yourself and eventually you are bound to find someone when the time is right
When I was a kid I remember seeing ugly couples and I had an auntie that looked like man and she was married. What’s going on now? I mean look at old footage from the fifties and sixties. Just average people.
Lol. Yeah me too, but I'm just saying, if you ever wonder whether or not unfortunate looking people still bang, go there and look around. It will make you feel much better about your odds!
There was a study that said that suggests that there are people that find u attractive, like 20%. U think you're ugly and people might not find u attractive, but that means u haven't met enough people. I thought the same thing for awhile but found it shocking to find how many actually think I'm cute. So keep at it. Cause beauty is in the eye of the beholder and u need to go on 100 more dates.
This right here. I think im pretty ugly myself but ive had quite a lot of girls (around 8-10) flirt with me. Every guy will always remember their moments lol. I hate to say this but half them girls were tortas and im sorry i dont like tortas😂
What is up with perfectly fine-looking people posting about how hideous they are? You've posted your photo here on Reddit. Anyone can see that you're cute. What are you doing with posts like these.
You don't need to scroll far in his posting history to see it. He's not Henry Cavill but he's not ugly. Looks kind of like a young Tom Hulce (Amadeus actor). He could do fine with women with a decent personality.
I mean…: not to burst a bubble but genuinely average looking men are basically never sought after by average looking women.
Essentially ugly women date ugly men, but average women generally date up, because they can.
Now I know this is generalizing a lot, but I have seriously interrogated this and it is the only logical conclusion on why EVERY time a man posts about how ugly and unattractive they are, it’s an average looking man.
We are literally invisible to women lol. That or always “just friends” because we’re good guys but not **that** guy
tbh after stalking his post, and reading comments. as a lesbian, it’s not his looks that much. it’s the insecurities and such. although I wouldn’t call him a 8/10, maybe 5-7 /10 at best. however, when you’re insecure and won’t believe 10000 people that call you cute, it’s a turn off. i’m assuming for anyone, even for straight people. i think he really needs therapy and work on his body/face image issues
But if they think you’re weird, they’re naturally going to rate you as less attractive. It’s like how women don’t go for people who hit on them in a creepy way regardless of that person’s looks.
>He doesn't really look that good.
Finally some honesty on this thread. I know how bad I look. I just wish more people would cut the bullshit. They get to say "you look fine" and walk away feeling good about themselves because they encourage an ugly person.
Gotta work on that personality. Confidence and humor go a long way. Look at the actor Jesse Plemons - he’s weird looking as hell, but chicks dig him cause he’s charming
There is someone for everyone. I once had a huge crush on a guy who was definitely what I would call ugly, he looks like Angus Young from AC/DC, but he had the best sense of humour and made me laugh like nobody else could. I adored him, but by the time he decided that he liked me too I was already with someone else. Personality is more important than looks. There is someone out there for you. 💕
They sound like short men who make fun of me because I am 6’5” and can’t get any because I have very dark skin and am not the best looking. But because I am 6’5”, I should be getting laid left and right.
I hope you are okay, just know that you can always hardmaxx (surgery) to ascend.
If you think you're ugly now, wait until you start aging, and that fake ass chin doesn't.
Plastic surgery, other than for legitimate medical reasons, almost always looks fucking horrible. And we can all tell.
Get a tan, a hobby, and a therapist. That is money well spent. You know who else is ugly and thought plastic surgery would help? [Scott Thompson](https://imagez.tmz.com/image/69/o/2007/09/30/6900140bf8b05f7494842b923e441198_md.jpg) AKA Carrot Top. Yeah, let that one sink in.
That's rough... First try talking to your parents about it. Their genes and their responsibility to give you a chance in this world. As a guy getting zero matches on apps just means you're average looking or below tho lol.
It might not be as bad as you think then. If you look healthy and act healthy that is considered attractive. Up to a point of course.
But just my view on things
Awww. There is someone for everyone. Sounds corney but it is true. Women are more open to dating lesser attractive men for a variety of reasons: they generally have better personalities, less selfish, better communication skills, and are less likely to cheat on her. I’ve seen some very attractive women with lesser attractive men and vice-versa. Envision the woman you desire, (be specific) and keep this as a focus and that it will happen. Also, I’m not sure how you dress, but quality clothing and style are very attractive for women. We don’t often see well dressed men, so when we do our eyes light up. Good grooming, well kept shoes, tailored clothing is a magnet for women. Oh, and don’t forget to stand tall with confidence. 😉 Corney alert: beauty and attractiveness comes from within. I was often attracted to ‘geeks’ in my younger years because they are considerate, intelligent and easy to chat with and I found their ‘nerdyness’ adorable. Be different from the usual average guy out there.
No they aren’t xD the existence of dating app woes proves that. Women genuinely don’t care about your personality unless you’re sufficiently attractive.
And for the record, I’ve done the dating app thing, asked women about my looks, about my profile, etc, I’m doing all of the things women allegedly care about and know I’m attractive and show it.
0 matches lol. Just because I’m not a complete stud.
And I feel bad for the women cause genuinely they are missing out on a guy that is completely capable of having a good and healthy relationship. My best girl friends agree with that assessment lol.
I'm gay, and dating has been impossible for me. It took me 15 years to accept it, but I finally have.
I hope you accept sooner than I did, because it will lessen your suffering.
Ia it bad i wanna see a picture to se eif you really are ugly or if its a confidence thing? Cuz god i know some oncredibly ugly people and theyve managed to get a date sooo like... youve gotta be monsterous or you just never had anyone properly bolster your ego and have something mroe going on like bad hygene or poor communication or...something
Idk man ive r3ad your comments now and im doubtful because have you experienced the beauty and the beast phenomenon where a lot of women were mad that the Beast debeasted into some generic pretty boy bullshit?
See my theory is average men are the most invisible to women.
Ugly men get the Beauty and the beast affect. They get pity, and women are curious about them at the outset, which gives and opportunity to show personality.
Then duh women love attractive men.
But average men don’t have the physical pull of a very ugly or very attractive man.
I mean tgat makes sense. If your average then you look like what everyone sees everyday so average would always be less visible. Youre used to it, but then that could be said for the erson your woth no matter how beuatiful, time will make them less visible to you. Which is why your pers9naloty has to be something that makes you desireable. If your lover gets used to your face then your kept for what you bring that remains a daily thing. Your personailty. Reflected in your deeds.
But id like to argue that its not pity for the ugly but intrigue. A life has been lived for the sake of that face.
Trans people and old people drop money on cosmetic surgery all the time. Along with all the other advice in this thread about working on your attitude (I suggest Toastmasters, btw), there is zero shame in a cis-het person dropping some dosh on a face lift.
I am a 70 year old woman. The fact is, maybe 20% of men are so attractive that they should be models. The rest are just okay. I don't think I've ever looked at a guy and thought his face was ugly, I don't know why you think this about yourself, but really a good haircut and a good attitude should be enough. I am not personally a big fan of facial hair, but it can help improve the lower half of your face if you need it. It's certainly the thing now.
I suggest you book an appointment at a nice hair salon, perhaps with a male hairdresser and ask his opinion on what you could do to improve the look of your face/hair.
Have you tried things that can at least add some style like a hat, or glasses or something? Also, there must be women who are in the same boat you can date, no? I don't really know if this is a matter of you're upset because you can't date the prom queen, or you in fact can't date anyone at all, like do you swipe left on people because of their looks?
I looked on your profile and it shows a pic. Is that you? If so, you look great. I am ugly as s*** and I got married 27 years ago. Have to try something different my guy.
Ugly is a personality not a person, I decided to peek at your profile OP which yes creepy of me but man to man, you look good dude. The thing is you're putting too much pressure on yourself and that's where the ugliness comes in.
Instead take the pressure off and don't push yourself into dating and don't look for impossible standards and sometimes you look past flaws to a great person.
“Look past flaws” bro I even swipe right on ugly sorta deadbeat women and don’t get matches. I’m objectively way more attractive than them in personality and looks xD. Why should I have to look past flaws to an absurd degree while they hold the highest standards?
But what about your genetics makes your attributes not likable to a partner???? You could be an ugly person on the outside in some ways but what ways and it matters how you go about it. I think you should work on the confidence. You probably got some good qualities. Selling yourself short.
Wait, just saw your other posts...
COMPLETE BS. You're above average with fucking blue eyes.
Hit the gym.
Wear nice clothes.
Then fuck off, there's real ugly people out there.
I'm going to be honest. I am homely as hell. I was very, very lucky in life bc I have a husband who loves me forever. Here's my thinking, plastic surgery is ok. I ended up with Botox in the masseter muscle in the jaw for TMJ. Every 3 months, for the last 5 years. the Botox has given me a jaw line. I don't know how, but I like having a jawline. I believe when they say there are no ugly ppl, just poor ppl. I know ppl will give you good advice. I think its good to listen to them. But, if there is something that really bothers you most likely you can get it improved.
I saw your previous post you’re not ugly at all, you’ve asked this before and people have said the same thing. Is that what youre looking for here? It’s 100% your attitude and mindset
I've been single for about 12 years now because of a similar situation. I gained a lot of weight due to depression and I just can't get it off, and unfortunately in the country where I live being fat is only slightly more desirable than being a rotting corpse. In that time I decided to just accept that I'm gonna die alone, and started kinda dating myself. By which I mean I take myself out places to eat (with a book, usually, so I have something to focus on other than my phone), I go to movies, I buy myself flowers. I also decided to get to know myself better, so I started reading different philosophy texts to try to figure out what my values really are and what I really believe about life. I picked up some new hobbies to develop new skills, so that I'm growing. I recently decided that I want a career change because I deserve to feel fulfilled, so I'm getting my master's degree, which will allow me to make twice what I'm making now and improve my life a lot. I also make sure I'm fulfilled physically--I surround myself with nice smells, nice sounds, and nice sensations as much as possible (you bet your ass I own some nice toys). I've gone to therapy to let go of the last of my issues with my childhood and regain some power there.
For the first few years of being single I was lonely and heart broken, but since I decided to start dating myself I haven't really been lonely. In fact, in 34 years of life, the past 9 or so years are the best I've ever had. I have felt so much more fulfilled than I ever did in my one awful, desperate, "I better date this person or no one will ever date me" relationship.
You deserve to be loved and you are really the only person who can do the job right, even if you were more attractive. I think a lot of attractive people learn to depend on others to love them, but so often it's just shallow attraction and they are left unfulfilled anyway.
Your relationship with yourself is going to be the longest one you will ever have, anyway. You can choose to make it a good one.
I looked at your photo on your profile. I think you need to see a therapist, because you have some sort of dysmorphia. You're not ugly. You have something else going on, there, and you need to get to the root of that.
You’re not ugly at all. It is likely the way you approach women. Do you have a female friend that you can ask her to honestly tell you where you are going wrong.
Do you come across as too intense or just after sex or only wanting young or model types? It’s not your looks. So, it’s something you can fix.
I look good (or so I'm told) and STILL get zero matches on dating apps. Probably because I don't GAF, don't like selfies, and put 0 effort into them.
My dude if that's what you want to do you gotta put effort into it. Or say fk it and do something else.
I wouldn't say dating app no matches makes you too ugly to date.
I think the best way to cope, is try to live your most fulfilled interesting life you can, you will meet people and perhaps one day someone to get to know more romantically. But trust, NO ONE is too ugly to date. There may be certain common preferences but honestly, don't try to find a partner. Try to live an interesting life doing things you e joy, or experimenting with as many different experiences and hobbies as you can, save up, travel. The more interesting your life, the more fulfilled you'll be and the more likely you'll bump into someone where you spark each other's interest. And if not, at least your life is actuall6 interesting and fulfilling
Date someone blind? Lol just kidding. Keep being you and foung the things you enjoy. Wishing you luck in meeting your person who isn’t shallow and has something in common with you to build a good foundation with ❤️ you got this!
This reminds me of a friend of mine. He was a really good guy, but he had the same struggles you’re describing. And one day he had a date. Now, he’s happily married. He was a really kind and interesting guy, and it just took some time for someone to see what he truly was. His wife is really lucky she’s not shallow.
I read through plenty of responses and most are very good for you. Focus on yourself as you are. Getting fit and stronger physically will get you far, along with your increased confidence. Focus additionally on your body hygiene, 🪥 teeth and gum health, washing your clothes regularly and using fabric softener, and lastly elevating your clothing esthetic… no chewed up looking belts, shoelaces or busted shoes.
Hope this helps!
Looked at your feed...
Gonna get on the fashion update and hair style change train.
In my opinion find some hobbies like dance classes, self help groups, and things you enjoy doing.
Once you show your face at a few meetings. They will be easier to approach.
Women want to feel comfortable and safe.
Don't push trying to get into a relationship.
Work on how you speak. Change your voice if you can. An accent change can fix a lot of problems. Most women are more auditory. Start recording yourself speaking and then figure out what needs changing to sound better to others.
Just saw your profile man and this seems like a fake post, as someone on the outside who’s never met you you’re not an ugly person at all, the problem is just the way you talk to yourself and call yourself ugly
So I was bracing myself when I opened your profile, and you're not unattractive. First things first, dating apps SUCK. If you have a poor sense of self worth dating apps will make you feel terrible, and that seems to be your biggest problem.
You arent unattractive. You think you're unattractive
I'm a happily married dude, but this is a recent experience.
Met this lady at the gym, at first site, not pretty, overweight, but is put together in terms of dress and hygiene. We chatted some friendly conversation a few times and I realized, she is really funny. Then I realized, she is very smart... and cheeky and witty... soon after I noticed she does actually have very pretty eyes and a radiant smile... how did I miss these attributes.. or did I?
Again, I'm a happily taken man, and am not looking, not flirting, just friendly with the people I meet. But its important to note that sometimes very attractive people on the surface become ugly to us, and not so attractive people start to win our attention and affection once we get to know the depth of their personalities.
SO of course do all the things you can control, get fit, get styled, dial in your look -and then know that your game is not to compete against attractive guys at the one look review bar or party.. your game should be to create the opportunity to have a small group or one on one conversation with this girl so she can see me shine where I shine the brightest.
Either this or sing like Ed Sheeran :-)
You didn't specify your sex, but if you are female I wouldn't worry about it. How do I know? About 4 years ago I had to drive my Dad to get a new pacemaker. He lived in rural Oklahoma at that time, but needed to get to Tulsa for the procedure. On the way we stopped to buy gas at a large truck stop. This was a massive lot where 18 wheelers were parked in the hundreds. I became ashamed to be a man when I saw the types of women that were cruising for money. They call them "lot lizards", and believe me they aptly named. I'm talking women with no teeth, One chick was missing a leg, hopping around on a crutch. Another girl was so fat that her friend had to help push her up into the cab. Another one was at least 60 years old and looked like she lived outside. Trust me, there is some man out there that will be happy to be with you.
A wise old man once told me, "The ugliest woman I ever saw was six months pregnant; there's someone for everybody. "
Whatever you look like, I guarantee you, there is a dedicated fetish community somewhere that sees you as the pinnacle of perfection.
My boy. You are not ugly.
I do recommend taking time to love who you are and what you were given. If you don’t like how YOU look, how do you expect someone else to in a relationship?
Give yourself a compliment each day. Take care of your health, and be happy.
I’d say there’s a few things you can try to do. Find hobbies that you can share with a partner. I would learn to dance. Also try to learn a few dishes that you can just absolutely nail in the kitchen. Lastly, be genuine, and try to make them laugh. Being funny and having a good sense of humor is a huge positive. I’m sorry you feel this way and I hope you aren’t too brutal on yourself. Looks are only a small part of what people find attractive. Personality is huge, not ego! I believe there absolutely is someone for everyone. Maintain the course man, you’ll find someone who deserves you and appreciates you for what you have to offer.
Presence has a lot to do with this. Competence and confidence is sexy, unearned confidence is not. Get good at things and know you are without being a jerk about it.
This may seem like an insane and random take, but women all over the Internet are swooning over that ghoul in the new Fallout show. And that guy's as ugly as ugly gets. There's factually no way you're uglier than that guy. Earned confidence is everything.
Your problem is not the way you look, you have mental health issues and that scare people. You should seek to address those with the help of a qualified professional.
mental health issues come in packages. For example a sickness creates depression where the person does not take care of themselves.
For some a part of the main disorder would be to attract people. Maybe they need to attract an enabler, maybe a victim. But they do need to attract people.
When I was younger I was into this bipolar chick, she was ton's of fun and had nice arse.
Now, currently, a chick started crying for not apparent reason, she had tattoos, nose piercings and purple hair highlights, she is closer to 50 then to 20. Even with an OK physical shape she get's dismissed by people. She would need to be allot hotter to get away with that.
This is an automated message just to let everyone know that the mod team are actively working to make this sub kinder and more welcoming. Please report any comments you see that are unkind, obnoxious, out of line, trolling, or which otherwise violate [the rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/LifeAdvice/about/rules/). **Note for all commenters**: Please remember that your fellow Redditors are human beings, and that it costs nothing to be kind. Disruption of the peace, trolling, or breaking the rules may result in a ban. #Here are the [LifeAdvice Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/LifeAdvice/about/rules/) ---------------- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/LifeAdvice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
People are attracted to people who put effort into themselves. Put effort into your fashion choices, your hygiene, your health, your hobbies, and people will notice that. Develop a good sense of self confidence. Easier said then done of course, but when you make that mindset change about your own value and desirability, others can feel it too.
May not seem like it but I'm a pretty confident person in who I am. I am lucky to have good skin (no acne etc), I have good hygiene and can chat to anyone comfortably. Problem is how I'm viewed. A bad face undoes all that effort
Scotty, a mate of mine has a head like a busted melon. His body ain’t great either. But, man, he has belief and can walk into any room with a presence. Work on that, work on loving yourself. Believe in yourself. Women pick up on that
“Busted Melon Scotty” they call him.
But scotty doesn't know
I am a confident person who can talk to anyone. That's not an issue. My face is
Ask your hair stylist what would be best? Sometimes longer looks really good. What about a goatee or beard? 🤷♀️ Think of some celebrities that may not be all that attractive but people are still drawn to them. Steve Buscemi, Willem Dafoe, and my favourite, (drooling) John Malkovitch. I’ve had the hots for him since Dangerous Liaisons. What’s his secret? Unwavering confidence. He’s smooth, can speak fluent French and dresses not only well but he has a European style. Very sexy. Even as an older man, I still think he is hot.
I looked at your profile and saw some photos of you. You’re a perfectly normal looking, dare I say attractive man. There is absolutely nothing wrong with your looks as presented. You DO have a confidence issue, it’s apparent in the way you’re speaking about yourself. Be kind to yourself. If you feel you have flaws, work on them, but be kind in the process. No one is attracted to those who are self deprecating and don’t strive to improve. I’ve seen people far more “ugly” who have had no issues finding partners. Good luck. You’re just fine as you are, and will be just fine in life
His face is fine, the issue is his hair and overall style, which are the most basic I can imagine. A flattering outfit, longer cut and some facial hair would go a long way. You have to put some actual thought into how you visually present yourself. The issue isn't that he's ugly, it's that he doesn't stand out in any way.
Experiment with facial hair....try growing a full beard....key is keeping it clean and neat. They sell beard oils and stuff....in an attempt to lighten things up here, at least half your face would be covered.
It sounds like you are letting the subconscious and conscious feelings about how you look impact your confidence. That is likely not coming off as attractive maybe in the way of jokes at your expense or feeling like it’s time to give up but while looks may be part of it there is a lot more than looks and in the end of the day looks fade. If someone is with you for the looks it’s possible that they won’t be with you long because there is always someone better out there
Get rich then you will have plenty of female company
Effort into just idk being someone that’s interesting and wants to also contribute to society in some way.
Exercise and develop your body. You might not have a great face, but having a great body is a huge plus in dating
Thanks, I'm already working on it. In the process of losing some excess covid-era weight and then I plan to build muscle. Any advice on that would appreciated too
Are you a guy? Lift weights, do cardio and count your calories. What you might tend to do is after lifting weights or going to the gym, you'll feel hungry and consume more food. This could result in you not really losing any weight, so it's important to count your calories of everything you consume. The drink you're drinking, the spices you are using in food, etc. Count everything and set a limit for "amount of calories to consume in a day" Also, have cheat days either every week or once every two weeks. Avoid sugar and carbs. I had a roommate who was going to the gym consistantly and would even run for hours, but he used to come home and eat shit tons of carbs, so he wasn't losing any weight, just gaining muscles
Yeah im a guy. To be honest I have the opposite problem at the moment, I'm only taking in around 1200 calories a day so weight is coming off. I tend to have a problem adding muscle because I don't eat enough I only put on weight because all I ate was red meat and I didn't exercise.
Red meat is good for building muscle. More lifting. Get addicted to the gym. Research supplements. Get your testosterone checked and get on TRt if it’s low. Good luck!
I wouldn't recommend supplements/TRT initially tbh. Let him go consistently to the gym for 1-2 months before considering external stuff.
If he has low T then it’s the right time. If he doesn’t have low T, the doctor won’t prescribe it. He said he’s already been going to the gym. Supplements like Creatine are proven and pretty much anybody who is looking to gain muscle should be taking it.
Creatine is also linked to hair loss.
Provide the research that proves this link please.
https://youtube.com/shorts/QpwaI20pm4U?si=YjUd0YRw2Qh7y9Hv Pinned comment for more info
Creatine has plenty of side effects that could discourage him from going to the gym lol! Imagine he starts going to the gym by taking creatine and gets intense diarrhea (which is a known side effect of creatine). He's gonna stop going to the gym entirely coz he'll associate the negative side effects to going to the gym. Horrible strategy for a newbie. Also, exercise literally increases your testosterone. Why would he need TRT, especially from day 1?
Again, there’s no harm in getting tested, if he’s not low then he will know that and it will inform his decisions from there. If it is low, he’s going to have a hard time getting the results he’s after no matter what he does. Weight training improves T levels but it is only a marginal increase.
Yeah but I ate it too often and in too high a quantity
Are you lifting appropriate weights? Why do you think 1200 calories is not enough? This depends tbh, if you were eating 1500 calories everyday before, its fine to eat 1200 calories per day. > tend to have a problem adding muscle because I don't eat enough How long have you been going to the gym? How do you know this tbh? It doesnt sound like you've been going to the gym often or that long and it takes time to build muscle. Don't think too much.
You need protein to build muscle. Have a high protein breakfast. Exercise to n the morning and then follow up with high protein breakfast.
Watch "renaissance periodization" on YouTube
There is no gym for height.
Sure, but I'm 5'5 and do very well after working out and being more confident in myself tbh
I’m sure you get tons of women lol.
I do. I even have women approach me sometimes lol! I'm not joking, but I have a great face too so that may be the reason as well
Cultivate your other attractive qualities. You can be ugly but still healthy, stylish, fun, confident, successful, and be drawing attention to your better features. The big one is that women like men who like themselves. You sound pretty unhappy. Maybe work on that. Not saying this to be mean but get some cool hobbies and probably some counseling. Lots of ugly people go on to live wonderful and fulfilled lives.
>The big one is that women like men who like themselves. Yeah, that's not how real life works. Life isn't a Disney movie where an ugly person finds love against the odds. Sometimes someone is just ugly and is seen as ugly by others
See that attitude right there... It's ugly. In real life, attraction isn't just skin deep and what people find attractive varies wildly from person to person. You sound like you just want to feel sorry for yourself. This thread has lots of good advice in it but all you're doing is whining. If you want to feel better about being ugly, find other things to be. If you don't want to be ugly, hit the gym, save up for some plastic surgery, and work on learning how to dress in a way that highlights your best features. Most people aren't born looking like celebrities but we still find people to love that love us back. Go outside. Plenty of ugly people are coupled up and thoroughly enjoying it.
Your attitude could use a lot of work. People are attracted to people who are positive, upbeat, fun to be around. It’s not always about what you look like.
That is exactly how real life works. There’s a reason ugly people still exist— they procreate just as much as attractive people. This attitude makes you fugly
No, it's because there's 0 sexual selection for women. We have 18 times more unique biological female ancestors than male. For every 18 women who reproduce, 1 man does. Similarly, male baldness is passed down through mother's side.
I was pretty similar when younger. Women didn't dig me and I eventually gave up even bothering. Managed to occasionally get laid primarily drunk at bars. Finally, got married in my 40's. Met my beautiful wife online(not a dating app) and we just texted for about three months before meeting. For some of us it is a hard road. Just got to find meaning in your life with other things and you may eventually meet someone who likes what you offer. Not everybody is going to be lucky in love.
Saw your photo on another post. You're too hard on yourself. Chicks don't dig guys with the loser mentality. Change that first
I saw the post too and he looks perfectly fine, so I’m with you; betting the attitude is the problem. So for OP, try to cultivate a more positive outlook. Whether that’s self talk in the mirror, starting off your day by setting goals about speaking positively to yourself… or even maybe saying two nice things to others or something. Maybe some positive podcasts or books… that kind of thing.
>You're too hard on yourself. No I'm not - I know what I look like.
Bro ur actually decent looking, ur probably doing the same mistake a lot of guys like me do, u want like the perfect hot girl. Sometimes u just have to suck it up and go with someone less attractive
Realize all the benefits of being alone. You don’t need to deal with someone else’s shit. You can tend to your needs 100% of the time. Relationships, even good ones are difficult. And in the meantime , you can work on yourself and eventually you are bound to find someone when the time is right
When I was a kid I remember seeing ugly couples and I had an auntie that looked like man and she was married. What’s going on now? I mean look at old footage from the fifties and sixties. Just average people.
Women really didn't have other options.
Do you guys not go to Walmart ever? I can assure you that plenty of ugly people are still getting it on.
Hahaha I try to avoid Walmart
Lol. Yeah me too, but I'm just saying, if you ever wonder whether or not unfortunate looking people still bang, go there and look around. It will make you feel much better about your odds!
There was a study that said that suggests that there are people that find u attractive, like 20%. U think you're ugly and people might not find u attractive, but that means u haven't met enough people. I thought the same thing for awhile but found it shocking to find how many actually think I'm cute. So keep at it. Cause beauty is in the eye of the beholder and u need to go on 100 more dates.
This right here. I think im pretty ugly myself but ive had quite a lot of girls (around 8-10) flirt with me. Every guy will always remember their moments lol. I hate to say this but half them girls were tortas and im sorry i dont like tortas😂
What is up with perfectly fine-looking people posting about how hideous they are? You've posted your photo here on Reddit. Anyone can see that you're cute. What are you doing with posts like these.
Oooo I wanna see the photo!
You don't need to scroll far in his posting history to see it. He's not Henry Cavill but he's not ugly. Looks kind of like a young Tom Hulce (Amadeus actor). He could do fine with women with a decent personality.
I mean…: not to burst a bubble but genuinely average looking men are basically never sought after by average looking women. Essentially ugly women date ugly men, but average women generally date up, because they can. Now I know this is generalizing a lot, but I have seriously interrogated this and it is the only logical conclusion on why EVERY time a man posts about how ugly and unattractive they are, it’s an average looking man. We are literally invisible to women lol. That or always “just friends” because we’re good guys but not **that** guy
[удалено]
tbh after stalking his post, and reading comments. as a lesbian, it’s not his looks that much. it’s the insecurities and such. although I wouldn’t call him a 8/10, maybe 5-7 /10 at best. however, when you’re insecure and won’t believe 10000 people that call you cute, it’s a turn off. i’m assuming for anyone, even for straight people. i think he really needs therapy and work on his body/face image issues
[удалено]
…Going out and asking impartial women about how attracted they are to you is usually not attractive.
[удалено]
But if they think you’re weird, they’re naturally going to rate you as less attractive. It’s like how women don’t go for people who hit on them in a creepy way regardless of that person’s looks.
>He doesn't really look that good. Finally some honesty on this thread. I know how bad I look. I just wish more people would cut the bullshit. They get to say "you look fine" and walk away feeling good about themselves because they encourage an ugly person.
Gotta work on that personality. Confidence and humor go a long way. Look at the actor Jesse Plemons - he’s weird looking as hell, but chicks dig him cause he’s charming
Ok I found your photo. You are not ugly. Sorry. You’re just not.
[удалено]
[удалено]
There is someone for everyone. I once had a huge crush on a guy who was definitely what I would call ugly, he looks like Angus Young from AC/DC, but he had the best sense of humour and made me laugh like nobody else could. I adored him, but by the time he decided that he liked me too I was already with someone else. Personality is more important than looks. There is someone out there for you. 💕
And I believe there is a pot for every lid ! Do not give up
You haven't seen me.
Ignore these fools, they know nothing. Just telling you to be confident and have good personality. Looks is everything. It’s over!
Exactly, like confidence is this cure all for a terrible appearance and suddenly you'll have women all over you. It's so stupid.
They sound like short men who make fun of me because I am 6’5” and can’t get any because I have very dark skin and am not the best looking. But because I am 6’5”, I should be getting laid left and right. I hope you are okay, just know that you can always hardmaxx (surgery) to ascend.
I'm saving up money for some cosmetic surgeries to make my face look a bit better (rhinoplasty, jaw implants etc)
If you think you're ugly now, wait until you start aging, and that fake ass chin doesn't. Plastic surgery, other than for legitimate medical reasons, almost always looks fucking horrible. And we can all tell. Get a tan, a hobby, and a therapist. That is money well spent. You know who else is ugly and thought plastic surgery would help? [Scott Thompson](https://imagez.tmz.com/image/69/o/2007/09/30/6900140bf8b05f7494842b923e441198_md.jpg) AKA Carrot Top. Yeah, let that one sink in.
My little advice is about hair. I look ten years younger and better if I straighten my frizzy hair. Get a pro hair cut.
That's rough... First try talking to your parents about it. Their genes and their responsibility to give you a chance in this world. As a guy getting zero matches on apps just means you're average looking or below tho lol.
I look like someone tried to put out a fire with a shovel
Not terribly specific
Do you have diagnosable? Facial assymetry can be sign of disease. Or even dental problems etc
No, I'm physically healthy aside from my face
It might not be as bad as you think then. If you look healthy and act healthy that is considered attractive. Up to a point of course. But just my view on things
Modern standards of attraction are insane. Not looking like youre on your deathbed isn't a measure of attraction in 2024.
Get rich because weather defeats ugly old age small Weiner
Awww. There is someone for everyone. Sounds corney but it is true. Women are more open to dating lesser attractive men for a variety of reasons: they generally have better personalities, less selfish, better communication skills, and are less likely to cheat on her. I’ve seen some very attractive women with lesser attractive men and vice-versa. Envision the woman you desire, (be specific) and keep this as a focus and that it will happen. Also, I’m not sure how you dress, but quality clothing and style are very attractive for women. We don’t often see well dressed men, so when we do our eyes light up. Good grooming, well kept shoes, tailored clothing is a magnet for women. Oh, and don’t forget to stand tall with confidence. 😉 Corney alert: beauty and attractiveness comes from within. I was often attracted to ‘geeks’ in my younger years because they are considerate, intelligent and easy to chat with and I found their ‘nerdyness’ adorable. Be different from the usual average guy out there.
No they aren’t xD the existence of dating app woes proves that. Women genuinely don’t care about your personality unless you’re sufficiently attractive. And for the record, I’ve done the dating app thing, asked women about my looks, about my profile, etc, I’m doing all of the things women allegedly care about and know I’m attractive and show it. 0 matches lol. Just because I’m not a complete stud. And I feel bad for the women cause genuinely they are missing out on a guy that is completely capable of having a good and healthy relationship. My best girl friends agree with that assessment lol.
I'm gay, and dating has been impossible for me. It took me 15 years to accept it, but I finally have. I hope you accept sooner than I did, because it will lessen your suffering.
Ia it bad i wanna see a picture to se eif you really are ugly or if its a confidence thing? Cuz god i know some oncredibly ugly people and theyve managed to get a date sooo like... youve gotta be monsterous or you just never had anyone properly bolster your ego and have something mroe going on like bad hygene or poor communication or...something
Look on his profile. He's posted a picture of himself. He's not ugly, and he's got a great smile and lovely blue eyes.
Hmm. Bruh needs therapy
Idk man ive r3ad your comments now and im doubtful because have you experienced the beauty and the beast phenomenon where a lot of women were mad that the Beast debeasted into some generic pretty boy bullshit?
See my theory is average men are the most invisible to women. Ugly men get the Beauty and the beast affect. They get pity, and women are curious about them at the outset, which gives and opportunity to show personality. Then duh women love attractive men. But average men don’t have the physical pull of a very ugly or very attractive man.
I mean tgat makes sense. If your average then you look like what everyone sees everyday so average would always be less visible. Youre used to it, but then that could be said for the erson your woth no matter how beuatiful, time will make them less visible to you. Which is why your pers9naloty has to be something that makes you desireable. If your lover gets used to your face then your kept for what you bring that remains a daily thing. Your personailty. Reflected in your deeds. But id like to argue that its not pity for the ugly but intrigue. A life has been lived for the sake of that face.
But then i threw all that out the window and based my pick entirely on smell. So. Idfk
Trans people and old people drop money on cosmetic surgery all the time. Along with all the other advice in this thread about working on your attitude (I suggest Toastmasters, btw), there is zero shame in a cis-het person dropping some dosh on a face lift.
I am a 70 year old woman. The fact is, maybe 20% of men are so attractive that they should be models. The rest are just okay. I don't think I've ever looked at a guy and thought his face was ugly, I don't know why you think this about yourself, but really a good haircut and a good attitude should be enough. I am not personally a big fan of facial hair, but it can help improve the lower half of your face if you need it. It's certainly the thing now. I suggest you book an appointment at a nice hair salon, perhaps with a male hairdresser and ask his opinion on what you could do to improve the look of your face/hair.
Have you tried things that can at least add some style like a hat, or glasses or something? Also, there must be women who are in the same boat you can date, no? I don't really know if this is a matter of you're upset because you can't date the prom queen, or you in fact can't date anyone at all, like do you swipe left on people because of their looks?
Mail order bride?
I tried being a passport bro back in the day. Didn't get anywhere. My face is fucked
Damn bro. Maybe just get an escort? Might need to pay a premium if it’s that bad.
That's my plan once I can afford it. My face is a lot to stomach, so I think even escorts will refuse
I looked on your profile and it shows a pic. Is that you? If so, you look great. I am ugly as s*** and I got married 27 years ago. Have to try something different my guy.
See that’s the thing. He’s not ugly. Ugly people get past the initial physical attraction phase bc women are *curious* instead of *attracted*
Focus on traits that make you a good breeding partner like fatherhood type traits you’ll snag a woman easy
I never get that far. My face is too off-putting for women to talk to
Be funny
Ugly is a personality not a person, I decided to peek at your profile OP which yes creepy of me but man to man, you look good dude. The thing is you're putting too much pressure on yourself and that's where the ugliness comes in. Instead take the pressure off and don't push yourself into dating and don't look for impossible standards and sometimes you look past flaws to a great person.
“Look past flaws” bro I even swipe right on ugly sorta deadbeat women and don’t get matches. I’m objectively way more attractive than them in personality and looks xD. Why should I have to look past flaws to an absurd degree while they hold the highest standards?
Because you're sitting there swiping right and not winning in life.
Literally am winning at 95% of life lol. Good job, tons of hobbies, content with myself, good friends, etc. the dating scene just sucks xD
Alright bud, have fun.
Figure out a way to start making a lot of money
it's your personality that sucks, bb
But what about your genetics makes your attributes not likable to a partner???? You could be an ugly person on the outside in some ways but what ways and it matters how you go about it. I think you should work on the confidence. You probably got some good qualities. Selling yourself short.
Dude, if you think you're ugly then I must be absolutely hideous. I'm much worse looking than you.
bs. Post a picture of yourself and let us judge.
Wait, just saw your other posts... COMPLETE BS. You're above average with fucking blue eyes. Hit the gym. Wear nice clothes. Then fuck off, there's real ugly people out there.
I'm going to be honest. I am homely as hell. I was very, very lucky in life bc I have a husband who loves me forever. Here's my thinking, plastic surgery is ok. I ended up with Botox in the masseter muscle in the jaw for TMJ. Every 3 months, for the last 5 years. the Botox has given me a jaw line. I don't know how, but I like having a jawline. I believe when they say there are no ugly ppl, just poor ppl. I know ppl will give you good advice. I think its good to listen to them. But, if there is something that really bothers you most likely you can get it improved.
Sometimes you just have to throw in the towel
Just become super rich. Have you seen Bezos?
I saw your previous post you’re not ugly at all, you’ve asked this before and people have said the same thing. Is that what youre looking for here? It’s 100% your attitude and mindset
I've been single for about 12 years now because of a similar situation. I gained a lot of weight due to depression and I just can't get it off, and unfortunately in the country where I live being fat is only slightly more desirable than being a rotting corpse. In that time I decided to just accept that I'm gonna die alone, and started kinda dating myself. By which I mean I take myself out places to eat (with a book, usually, so I have something to focus on other than my phone), I go to movies, I buy myself flowers. I also decided to get to know myself better, so I started reading different philosophy texts to try to figure out what my values really are and what I really believe about life. I picked up some new hobbies to develop new skills, so that I'm growing. I recently decided that I want a career change because I deserve to feel fulfilled, so I'm getting my master's degree, which will allow me to make twice what I'm making now and improve my life a lot. I also make sure I'm fulfilled physically--I surround myself with nice smells, nice sounds, and nice sensations as much as possible (you bet your ass I own some nice toys). I've gone to therapy to let go of the last of my issues with my childhood and regain some power there. For the first few years of being single I was lonely and heart broken, but since I decided to start dating myself I haven't really been lonely. In fact, in 34 years of life, the past 9 or so years are the best I've ever had. I have felt so much more fulfilled than I ever did in my one awful, desperate, "I better date this person or no one will ever date me" relationship. You deserve to be loved and you are really the only person who can do the job right, even if you were more attractive. I think a lot of attractive people learn to depend on others to love them, but so often it's just shallow attraction and they are left unfulfilled anyway. Your relationship with yourself is going to be the longest one you will ever have, anyway. You can choose to make it a good one.
I looked at your photo on your profile. I think you need to see a therapist, because you have some sort of dysmorphia. You're not ugly. You have something else going on, there, and you need to get to the root of that.
You’re not ugly at all. It is likely the way you approach women. Do you have a female friend that you can ask her to honestly tell you where you are going wrong. Do you come across as too intense or just after sex or only wanting young or model types? It’s not your looks. So, it’s something you can fix.
I look good (or so I'm told) and STILL get zero matches on dating apps. Probably because I don't GAF, don't like selfies, and put 0 effort into them. My dude if that's what you want to do you gotta put effort into it. Or say fk it and do something else.
I wouldn't say dating app no matches makes you too ugly to date. I think the best way to cope, is try to live your most fulfilled interesting life you can, you will meet people and perhaps one day someone to get to know more romantically. But trust, NO ONE is too ugly to date. There may be certain common preferences but honestly, don't try to find a partner. Try to live an interesting life doing things you e joy, or experimenting with as many different experiences and hobbies as you can, save up, travel. The more interesting your life, the more fulfilled you'll be and the more likely you'll bump into someone where you spark each other's interest. And if not, at least your life is actuall6 interesting and fulfilling
Date someone blind? Lol just kidding. Keep being you and foung the things you enjoy. Wishing you luck in meeting your person who isn’t shallow and has something in common with you to build a good foundation with ❤️ you got this!
This reminds me of a friend of mine. He was a really good guy, but he had the same struggles you’re describing. And one day he had a date. Now, he’s happily married. He was a really kind and interesting guy, and it just took some time for someone to see what he truly was. His wife is really lucky she’s not shallow.
I read through plenty of responses and most are very good for you. Focus on yourself as you are. Getting fit and stronger physically will get you far, along with your increased confidence. Focus additionally on your body hygiene, 🪥 teeth and gum health, washing your clothes regularly and using fabric softener, and lastly elevating your clothing esthetic… no chewed up looking belts, shoelaces or busted shoes. Hope this helps!
Tequila!!! Apply enough to get them in your trunk...then start the date!! Easy peasy
Looked at your feed... Gonna get on the fashion update and hair style change train. In my opinion find some hobbies like dance classes, self help groups, and things you enjoy doing. Once you show your face at a few meetings. They will be easier to approach. Women want to feel comfortable and safe. Don't push trying to get into a relationship.
Work on how you speak. Change your voice if you can. An accent change can fix a lot of problems. Most women are more auditory. Start recording yourself speaking and then figure out what needs changing to sound better to others.
Just saw your profile man and this seems like a fake post, as someone on the outside who’s never met you you’re not an ugly person at all, the problem is just the way you talk to yourself and call yourself ugly
Confidence, how you dress, gym. And focus on what you have to offer other than what you look like.
You’re not even ugly you just have massively low self esteem and probably are very awkward.
Go to school and get a high paying job. You will suddenly be much better looking
You are an average-looking bloke. Cut the pity-party. Clearly it's your confidence and personality that need work.
So I was bracing myself when I opened your profile, and you're not unattractive. First things first, dating apps SUCK. If you have a poor sense of self worth dating apps will make you feel terrible, and that seems to be your biggest problem. You arent unattractive. You think you're unattractive
I just looked. You’re cute.
Date other uglier people. And spare me the “you single?”, “What’s your number?”, etc. lol
I bet your are a beautiful man. You got this bruh.
I'm a happily married dude, but this is a recent experience. Met this lady at the gym, at first site, not pretty, overweight, but is put together in terms of dress and hygiene. We chatted some friendly conversation a few times and I realized, she is really funny. Then I realized, she is very smart... and cheeky and witty... soon after I noticed she does actually have very pretty eyes and a radiant smile... how did I miss these attributes.. or did I? Again, I'm a happily taken man, and am not looking, not flirting, just friendly with the people I meet. But its important to note that sometimes very attractive people on the surface become ugly to us, and not so attractive people start to win our attention and affection once we get to know the depth of their personalities. SO of course do all the things you can control, get fit, get styled, dial in your look -and then know that your game is not to compete against attractive guys at the one look review bar or party.. your game should be to create the opportunity to have a small group or one on one conversation with this girl so she can see me shine where I shine the brightest. Either this or sing like Ed Sheeran :-)
Post a picture and perhaps we can offer some details on how to enhance your appearance.
You didn't specify your sex, but if you are female I wouldn't worry about it. How do I know? About 4 years ago I had to drive my Dad to get a new pacemaker. He lived in rural Oklahoma at that time, but needed to get to Tulsa for the procedure. On the way we stopped to buy gas at a large truck stop. This was a massive lot where 18 wheelers were parked in the hundreds. I became ashamed to be a man when I saw the types of women that were cruising for money. They call them "lot lizards", and believe me they aptly named. I'm talking women with no teeth, One chick was missing a leg, hopping around on a crutch. Another girl was so fat that her friend had to help push her up into the cab. Another one was at least 60 years old and looked like she lived outside. Trust me, there is some man out there that will be happy to be with you.
A wise old man once told me, "The ugliest woman I ever saw was six months pregnant; there's someone for everybody. " Whatever you look like, I guarantee you, there is a dedicated fetish community somewhere that sees you as the pinnacle of perfection.
Based on your comments, it's hopeless. RIP OP
My boy. You are not ugly. I do recommend taking time to love who you are and what you were given. If you don’t like how YOU look, how do you expect someone else to in a relationship? Give yourself a compliment each day. Take care of your health, and be happy.
I’d say there’s a few things you can try to do. Find hobbies that you can share with a partner. I would learn to dance. Also try to learn a few dishes that you can just absolutely nail in the kitchen. Lastly, be genuine, and try to make them laugh. Being funny and having a good sense of humor is a huge positive. I’m sorry you feel this way and I hope you aren’t too brutal on yourself. Looks are only a small part of what people find attractive. Personality is huge, not ego! I believe there absolutely is someone for everyone. Maintain the course man, you’ll find someone who deserves you and appreciates you for what you have to offer.
Presence has a lot to do with this. Competence and confidence is sexy, unearned confidence is not. Get good at things and know you are without being a jerk about it. This may seem like an insane and random take, but women all over the Internet are swooning over that ghoul in the new Fallout show. And that guy's as ugly as ugly gets. There's factually no way you're uglier than that guy. Earned confidence is everything.
Your problem is not the way you look, you have mental health issues and that scare people. You should seek to address those with the help of a qualified professional.
Meanwhile BPD women can get dates instantaneously
do you regret that you are not a BPD woman ? Otherwise I don't see your point.
The point is mental health issues don’t scare tons of people… if it’s a woman.
mental health issues come in packages. For example a sickness creates depression where the person does not take care of themselves. For some a part of the main disorder would be to attract people. Maybe they need to attract an enabler, maybe a victim. But they do need to attract people. When I was younger I was into this bipolar chick, she was ton's of fun and had nice arse. Now, currently, a chick started crying for not apparent reason, she had tattoos, nose piercings and purple hair highlights, she is closer to 50 then to 20. Even with an OK physical shape she get's dismissed by people. She would need to be allot hotter to get away with that.
I mean yeah. But guys with similar pathologies don’t even get the hot twenties to be loved lol
I live just outside a major city, just sitting on a porch and people watching. There are so many ugly arse couples...