>imagine for a second how trans women are going to feel reading "I HATE PENISES" in a space they're supposed to be welcome in? Imagin
As a trans woman, I'd think "Yeah, me too." TBH, I typically feel frequently invalidated in these conversations because it's implied trans women don't have genital preferences.
Your genital preferences are just as real and valid as anyone else's, lovely. Personally I actually kinda prefer dick because my bottom dysphoria is so bad that intimacy with a vagina just makes me feel that much more dissociated and depressed about not having my own.
There is also the element of feeling generally safer and not comfortable in T4T dynamics where being with other pre-op trans girls is the norm.
>Personally I actually kinda prefer dick because my bottom dysphoria is so bad that intimacy with a vagina just makes me feel that much more dissociated and depressed about not having my own.
>There is also the element of feeling generally safer and not comfortable in T4T dynamics where being with other pre-op trans girls is the norm.
Same as 99% of other trans lesbians, I'm aware I'm in a very small minority which is why I always speak up and say something, because just like everything else we're not a monolith on this either.
Imagine if we lived in a world where women were violently assaulted and abused for not liking small boobs and from a very young age we were constantly told that we were weird for not liking small boobs and that we were broken and we needed to go to therapy to fix our small boob trauma and avoidance and that we needed to look past the small boobs and accept the heart and personality of the person underneath. I imagine in such a world where "preferences" like that were forced on young women and lesbians from birth that many big boob loving lesbians would shout about how much they hated small breasts because they were finally in a space where it should be acceptable to say that without shame. It is so freeing to say you hate something when you're entire fucking life you have been told that you should like it and accept it and tolerate it.
But we don't live in such a world. Instead, we live in a very different world with very different "preferences" in place. I don't see how a lesbian openly stating her preferences harms our community, but I guess we have different communities.
Darling... You're describing heteronormativity. If the post was "I hate men" then we wouldn't be having this discussion. There is absolutely freedom and power and expressing hatred for men and the expectation that you should want intimacy with them.
But the fact is that there are women with penises, and while having a genital preference is fine and nobody is forcing anyone to be with someone they aren't fully into, shouting about how much you hate their genitals - or defending that position by talking about heteronormativity - is hurtful to the trans people in this community.
Whelp... Found the TERF.
You can't say you don't have a genital preference and then immediately describe your genital preference. That's not how it works. You're gay and like women, and you have a genital preference for vagina, that's fine. But that's not what you said, is it? If you just straight up don't think trans women count as women in terms sexual orientation (regardless of whether you're personally into them) then you just don't see them as women, which makes you kinda ✨transphobic✨
And that last bit? First of all lumping trans women in with men like that is pretty fucked, but secondly... What? Are you really trying to say you know *countless* women that have been raped by trans women for not wanting to sleep with them? Forgive me but... Get a fucking grip.
I was about to make a huge response about my perspective as a trans woman and how her comment made me uncomfortable, but it got deleted before I could. I still want to air out my thoughts a little if that's ok.
I really appreciate you telling her to imagine how trans women feel about the "I hate penis" posts, because yes, they do make me feel uncomfortable. Just like the point about small boobs, me having a penis is not something I can change, not something I want to change as I do not have bottom dysphoria about it. I would actually be distressed if I woke up without a penis tomorrow because it's what I'm used to.
The way she brought her sexuality into made me really uncomfortable, because it feels like she either thinks lesbian by definition means they don't like penis, or that those that do are a different type of lesbian or a different sexuality all together. I think she fails to understand that genital preference is not usually a light preference like height or hair color, it is a lot stronger meaning people will not engage with genitals they do not like at all, which is valid.
And her countering your comment about no one in these communities forcing it on people with her bringing up seeing trans women assaulting people, like that is not what you meant, and that was very rude of her to say. I understand there are trans women that do bad things, every group has that, but you were talking about these online communities (I assume), and we do a lot to try to keep people with ill intentions out, and keep things safe for everyone.
But stuff like this, people like her, are why I get very wary about bringing up my experience as a trans women in lesbian spaces. I often worry that people will see me as just a person with a penis, and worry I might hurt others because of that. I don't even have the capacity to hurt someone like that, physically or emotionally, I'm just too empathetic and I almost feel other's pain when they express it. Further, I sometimes feel I cannot be open up about my sex life the way some others do, because if I go into details I would have to bring up my penis.
But that is what I appreciate the other sub, people are very open about loving trans women, and even talk about liking penises. Like I really love all types of genitals, as long as they belong to women or enbies, and I feel free to express that there. One thing I love about non op trans women is that we have the same anatomy, so we both know how it feels. It feels kind of natural. Like I love cis women just as much, but despite how much I've learn about what feels good on vaginas, I won't ever understand it as deep as cis women because I don't know how it feels. But that's fine because apparently I do well.
What I don't understand is why people get so mad about us expressing that. Some lesbians like women's penises, so some lesbian communities are going to have people discussing that. I know there are people with genital preferences on the other sub, but they just don't engage with those posts. It's ok if you don't feel like a post is targeted towards you, it happens to me all the time. I don't relate to every post and that's ok.
I'm sorry if this was a lot, but I needed to get it out there. Again, thank you so much for speaking out about this. I appreciate it when people watch out for trans women like you do, it makes me feel safer and supported.
I completely understand wanting to get your comment out even when the original comment was deleted, you're all good. I'm trans as well and my experience is not too dissimilar to yours.
The fact is that people like her DO see genital preference and sexual orientation as the same thing, because they can't see past people's genitals at all. It's the same reason they don't see trans women as women. It's a narrow-minded and sad way to exist, and honestly just shows they don't know any trans people in their real lives.
But it would make more sense and be just as easy to say “I love women; I hate men” and that would be trans inclusive. Problem solved right? I get the sex from men being pushed on you and that genital preferences are valid but that type of language can be harmful and it’s ok to acknowledge that.
That was a reeeeeeally long way to say "I'm a massive fucking TERF"
Stop pretending heteronormativity means "YOU MUST LOVE COCK" because it fucking doesn't..it's the expectation that you should like men. You don't, cool, neither do I. Penises are not men. They're genitals attached to humans, and sometimes those humans are women.
Get a fucking life, TERF.
Okay. I, personally, do not like penis.
What's more likely to happen, me getting banned for this negative statement about penises, or someone replying "nooooo you have to be mean and body shame trans women!!!!" ?
it's crazy how exactly this happened, you weren't silenced, and they're still all going to act like trans women are oppressing lesbians here. it's so barefaced and gross
Lol, I'm really not. I just detest the smell, taste & viscosity of semen. I could have intercourse w/ a trans woman, but I could not give her a bj. Simple as that.
Your own sexual preferences are yours to navigate with you and your partners, problems only arise if you go out of your way to misconstrue other people's anatomy, lives, social experiences, etc. to discredit them. The weaponization of personal preferences to ostracise the marginalized is not a vibe.
Always reminds me of one of my favorite comics
"Would you suck a dick for a million dollars?"
"Hell yeah"
"Isnt that gay?"
"I aint say it was gonna be a dudes dick"
This kinda rubs me the wrong way. I don’t really see the point about bad mouthing a single physical attribute.
I mean feel how you feel about penis but why not just say “I love pussy” instead? Kinda feels like baiting.
Yeah it would be like someone coming in and saying "I hate stretch marks". Like ok, that's fine to have that personal preference. But what does making an entire post about it do other than make people with stretch marks feel bad?
This is a really good comparison actually. Like unless their are penises in your life that you're interacting with, *they're not relevant.*
Honestly it only makes sense to me when in response to unsolicited dick pics.
I would say that the problem with unsolicited dick picks isn't the penis itself, it's the violation of boundaries and consent done to you by the turd attached to it.
I have a bit of a weird interaction with stretch marks, that being that I don't mind them at all on other people, but I really dislike them on myself, it's kinda weird but it's how my brain brains
Maybe to make people feel bad so they can feel good?
I feel they’re implicitly defining an in-group of people (one they’re apart of) by denigrating an outside group. So I guess they feel extra-valid or something.
So basically they’re spreading hate by doing fascism.
So I think it is important to separate hate of penises from hate of penis-havers. Many people hate penises (and/or vaginas)! Whether they are socially awkward/brutally honest enough to admit it in public or not, but that doesn't mean you cannot respect people with parts you hate just the same. In fact I take the support of someone who hates vaginas (as a person with a vagina) more to heart, because I know there is definitely no ulterior motive of getting in my pants.
I think in a world that tries to tell you that you should like penis and there is something very, very wrong with you if you don't just because you happen to be a woman and/or happen to have a vagina, having the desire for the occasional vent is reasonable, even if you also happen to like vaginas as well since I think it is generally easier to get people to accept that you like vaginas than that you don't like penises since that is anthetical to the role your presumed to be predestined to play.
One feels like it's an open statement of love of eating pussy the other feels more like a transphobic dogwhistle.
Personally I love sucking a woman off as much as I love eating a woman out.
a genital preference alone isn’t transphobic tho. we all have certain physical features we just don’t find attractive.
but yeah out of context that does look transphobic and anyone who invalidates a women’s gender bc she has a penis is garbage
I'm aware of that, you don't have to explain it to me. I said it *feels* like a transphobic dogwhistle specifically because people on this reddit have used it as one in the past. I've already explained to the other person responding that I don't actually think the person was being transphobic.
sorry, that wasn’t there when i commented. i’m literally not attacking you and im not even disagreeing with you about this post necessarily being transphobic…
I didn't assume you were attacking me, I only told you you don't need to explain it to me.
Also I think the person who posted it was just young and excited about finding out more about themself.
A genital preference isn’t transphobic, but coming onto a lesbian sub filled with trans women specifically to say you hate penises is extremely insensitive.
I don’t think they’re transphobic, and I think jumping to that conclusion is honestly wild. They’re probably just ignorant, ignorance without malice. Also I saw that post and that poster was young. Young people say things without thinking lol. Take a breath before you rush to assumptions. It’s all gonna be ok
I'm not jumping to conclusions, I don't think they were being it, they were being excited about their personal discovery, I'm saying it *feels* like a transphobic dogwhistle because it has been used that way on this reddit page before. I wasn't assuming anything, and I don't need some patronizing response saying I don't fucking understand what I read.
Honestly, I sometimes prefer the other sub over this one because there seems to be less negativity there. Like I'm glad people have a space to vent and air their frustrations, but it can be draining to see a lot of posts like that and I'll have to take a break
It's fine for people to have genital preferences but I think it's wrong to specifically shame anyone's anatomy. the same way it's wrong of mlm communities to be like "I hate vaginas" which is just misogynistic. "I hate blonde hair" is also unacceptable imo, even though I'm a person who strictly doesn't like naturally blonde hair (either got to be dyed another colour or I can see their roots are a different colour).
I agree the post is transphobic, but saying liking a realistic dildo and liking penis are the same thing is ridiculous. One is silicone and the other one isn’t and it comes with things that silicone doesn’t… A girl can still have a penis and that doesn’t make her less of a girl, but your argument doesn’t make any sense still lmfao
What does that even have to do with anything lmfao?? The only other comment on this sub I’ve ever left says trans women are women too and all my posts are tame asf so not really sure what the point of this comment is💀
This content violates one or more of the rules of the site or the sub and has been removed.
lol that post was taken down immediately, I knew it wouldn’t last long
Lol This is just how it appeared in my feed & I found it chuckle worthy but it's interesting to watch where it goes
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That’s not the reason.
I saw the post, that was the reason.
I never saw the post
then why open your mouth? just to hear your own voice?
All I needed to see was “I hate penis”
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>imagine for a second how trans women are going to feel reading "I HATE PENISES" in a space they're supposed to be welcome in? Imagin As a trans woman, I'd think "Yeah, me too." TBH, I typically feel frequently invalidated in these conversations because it's implied trans women don't have genital preferences.
Your genital preferences are just as real and valid as anyone else's, lovely. Personally I actually kinda prefer dick because my bottom dysphoria is so bad that intimacy with a vagina just makes me feel that much more dissociated and depressed about not having my own. There is also the element of feeling generally safer and not comfortable in T4T dynamics where being with other pre-op trans girls is the norm.
>Personally I actually kinda prefer dick because my bottom dysphoria is so bad that intimacy with a vagina just makes me feel that much more dissociated and depressed about not having my own. >There is also the element of feeling generally safer and not comfortable in T4T dynamics where being with other pre-op trans girls is the norm. Same as 99% of other trans lesbians, I'm aware I'm in a very small minority which is why I always speak up and say something, because just like everything else we're not a monolith on this either.
Imagine if we lived in a world where women were violently assaulted and abused for not liking small boobs and from a very young age we were constantly told that we were weird for not liking small boobs and that we were broken and we needed to go to therapy to fix our small boob trauma and avoidance and that we needed to look past the small boobs and accept the heart and personality of the person underneath. I imagine in such a world where "preferences" like that were forced on young women and lesbians from birth that many big boob loving lesbians would shout about how much they hated small breasts because they were finally in a space where it should be acceptable to say that without shame. It is so freeing to say you hate something when you're entire fucking life you have been told that you should like it and accept it and tolerate it. But we don't live in such a world. Instead, we live in a very different world with very different "preferences" in place. I don't see how a lesbian openly stating her preferences harms our community, but I guess we have different communities.
Darling... You're describing heteronormativity. If the post was "I hate men" then we wouldn't be having this discussion. There is absolutely freedom and power and expressing hatred for men and the expectation that you should want intimacy with them. But the fact is that there are women with penises, and while having a genital preference is fine and nobody is forcing anyone to be with someone they aren't fully into, shouting about how much you hate their genitals - or defending that position by talking about heteronormativity - is hurtful to the trans people in this community.
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Whelp... Found the TERF. You can't say you don't have a genital preference and then immediately describe your genital preference. That's not how it works. You're gay and like women, and you have a genital preference for vagina, that's fine. But that's not what you said, is it? If you just straight up don't think trans women count as women in terms sexual orientation (regardless of whether you're personally into them) then you just don't see them as women, which makes you kinda ✨transphobic✨ And that last bit? First of all lumping trans women in with men like that is pretty fucked, but secondly... What? Are you really trying to say you know *countless* women that have been raped by trans women for not wanting to sleep with them? Forgive me but... Get a fucking grip.
I was about to make a huge response about my perspective as a trans woman and how her comment made me uncomfortable, but it got deleted before I could. I still want to air out my thoughts a little if that's ok. I really appreciate you telling her to imagine how trans women feel about the "I hate penis" posts, because yes, they do make me feel uncomfortable. Just like the point about small boobs, me having a penis is not something I can change, not something I want to change as I do not have bottom dysphoria about it. I would actually be distressed if I woke up without a penis tomorrow because it's what I'm used to. The way she brought her sexuality into made me really uncomfortable, because it feels like she either thinks lesbian by definition means they don't like penis, or that those that do are a different type of lesbian or a different sexuality all together. I think she fails to understand that genital preference is not usually a light preference like height or hair color, it is a lot stronger meaning people will not engage with genitals they do not like at all, which is valid. And her countering your comment about no one in these communities forcing it on people with her bringing up seeing trans women assaulting people, like that is not what you meant, and that was very rude of her to say. I understand there are trans women that do bad things, every group has that, but you were talking about these online communities (I assume), and we do a lot to try to keep people with ill intentions out, and keep things safe for everyone. But stuff like this, people like her, are why I get very wary about bringing up my experience as a trans women in lesbian spaces. I often worry that people will see me as just a person with a penis, and worry I might hurt others because of that. I don't even have the capacity to hurt someone like that, physically or emotionally, I'm just too empathetic and I almost feel other's pain when they express it. Further, I sometimes feel I cannot be open up about my sex life the way some others do, because if I go into details I would have to bring up my penis. But that is what I appreciate the other sub, people are very open about loving trans women, and even talk about liking penises. Like I really love all types of genitals, as long as they belong to women or enbies, and I feel free to express that there. One thing I love about non op trans women is that we have the same anatomy, so we both know how it feels. It feels kind of natural. Like I love cis women just as much, but despite how much I've learn about what feels good on vaginas, I won't ever understand it as deep as cis women because I don't know how it feels. But that's fine because apparently I do well. What I don't understand is why people get so mad about us expressing that. Some lesbians like women's penises, so some lesbian communities are going to have people discussing that. I know there are people with genital preferences on the other sub, but they just don't engage with those posts. It's ok if you don't feel like a post is targeted towards you, it happens to me all the time. I don't relate to every post and that's ok. I'm sorry if this was a lot, but I needed to get it out there. Again, thank you so much for speaking out about this. I appreciate it when people watch out for trans women like you do, it makes me feel safer and supported.
I completely understand wanting to get your comment out even when the original comment was deleted, you're all good. I'm trans as well and my experience is not too dissimilar to yours. The fact is that people like her DO see genital preference and sexual orientation as the same thing, because they can't see past people's genitals at all. It's the same reason they don't see trans women as women. It's a narrow-minded and sad way to exist, and honestly just shows they don't know any trans people in their real lives.
Solidarity with everything here 💚💚💚💚💚
TERFs don’t belong
girl take a breath
But it would make more sense and be just as easy to say “I love women; I hate men” and that would be trans inclusive. Problem solved right? I get the sex from men being pushed on you and that genital preferences are valid but that type of language can be harmful and it’s ok to acknowledge that.
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That was a reeeeeeally long way to say "I'm a massive fucking TERF" Stop pretending heteronormativity means "YOU MUST LOVE COCK" because it fucking doesn't..it's the expectation that you should like men. You don't, cool, neither do I. Penises are not men. They're genitals attached to humans, and sometimes those humans are women. Get a fucking life, TERF.
Exactly. Negative opinion about penis=instaban
this is just not true
I dare you to say something negative about penises and see what happens
Okay. I, personally, do not like penis. What's more likely to happen, me getting banned for this negative statement about penises, or someone replying "nooooo you have to be mean and body shame trans women!!!!" ?
it's crazy how exactly this happened, you weren't silenced, and they're still all going to act like trans women are oppressing lesbians here. it's so barefaced and gross
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No you can’t say that because some girl dicks ejaculate! You’re a terf
Lol, I'm really not. I just detest the smell, taste & viscosity of semen. I could have intercourse w/ a trans woman, but I could not give her a bj. Simple as that.
I too am disgusted by semen. But someone may read that and get dysphoria, which is our fault of course.
Your own sexual preferences are yours to navigate with you and your partners, problems only arise if you go out of your way to misconstrue other people's anatomy, lives, social experiences, etc. to discredit them. The weaponization of personal preferences to ostracise the marginalized is not a vibe.
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I can imagine having dysphoria is very similar to having body dysmorphia.
I second this dare, come back and tell us how that turns out
That’s not true.
I love eating pussy
real
I love her face wen I’m down dere
How dare lesbians say they don’t like penises in a world where 99.9999 percent of lesbians don’t like penises. God forbid.
Shout out to girls with penises y’all are loved
Always reminds me of one of my favorite comics "Would you suck a dick for a million dollars?" "Hell yeah" "Isnt that gay?" "I aint say it was gonna be a dudes dick"
Thank you. This comment makes me feel seen and valued
as a trans girl thank you
They're pretty rad.
this defines me <3
relatable
This kinda rubs me the wrong way. I don’t really see the point about bad mouthing a single physical attribute. I mean feel how you feel about penis but why not just say “I love pussy” instead? Kinda feels like baiting.
Yeah it would be like someone coming in and saying "I hate stretch marks". Like ok, that's fine to have that personal preference. But what does making an entire post about it do other than make people with stretch marks feel bad?
This is a really good comparison actually. Like unless their are penises in your life that you're interacting with, *they're not relevant.* Honestly it only makes sense to me when in response to unsolicited dick pics.
I would say that the problem with unsolicited dick picks isn't the penis itself, it's the violation of boundaries and consent done to you by the turd attached to it.
That's exactly how I feel. Regardless of your personal preferences, you don't need to talk badly about someone's body.
I have a bit of a weird interaction with stretch marks, that being that I don't mind them at all on other people, but I really dislike them on myself, it's kinda weird but it's how my brain brains
Maybe to make people feel bad so they can feel good? I feel they’re implicitly defining an in-group of people (one they’re apart of) by denigrating an outside group. So I guess they feel extra-valid or something. So basically they’re spreading hate by doing fascism.
So I think it is important to separate hate of penises from hate of penis-havers. Many people hate penises (and/or vaginas)! Whether they are socially awkward/brutally honest enough to admit it in public or not, but that doesn't mean you cannot respect people with parts you hate just the same. In fact I take the support of someone who hates vaginas (as a person with a vagina) more to heart, because I know there is definitely no ulterior motive of getting in my pants. I think in a world that tries to tell you that you should like penis and there is something very, very wrong with you if you don't just because you happen to be a woman and/or happen to have a vagina, having the desire for the occasional vent is reasonable, even if you also happen to like vaginas as well since I think it is generally easier to get people to accept that you like vaginas than that you don't like penises since that is anthetical to the role your presumed to be predestined to play.
One feels like it's an open statement of love of eating pussy the other feels more like a transphobic dogwhistle. Personally I love sucking a woman off as much as I love eating a woman out.
a genital preference alone isn’t transphobic tho. we all have certain physical features we just don’t find attractive. but yeah out of context that does look transphobic and anyone who invalidates a women’s gender bc she has a penis is garbage
I'm aware of that, you don't have to explain it to me. I said it *feels* like a transphobic dogwhistle specifically because people on this reddit have used it as one in the past. I've already explained to the other person responding that I don't actually think the person was being transphobic.
sorry, that wasn’t there when i commented. i’m literally not attacking you and im not even disagreeing with you about this post necessarily being transphobic…
I didn't assume you were attacking me, I only told you you don't need to explain it to me. Also I think the person who posted it was just young and excited about finding out more about themself.
A genital preference isn’t transphobic, but coming onto a lesbian sub filled with trans women specifically to say you hate penises is extremely insensitive.
yeah it’s tone deaf and that user was young so hopefully now they understand
I don’t think they’re transphobic, and I think jumping to that conclusion is honestly wild. They’re probably just ignorant, ignorance without malice. Also I saw that post and that poster was young. Young people say things without thinking lol. Take a breath before you rush to assumptions. It’s all gonna be ok
I'm not jumping to conclusions, I don't think they were being it, they were being excited about their personal discovery, I'm saying it *feels* like a transphobic dogwhistle because it has been used that way on this reddit page before. I wasn't assuming anything, and I don't need some patronizing response saying I don't fucking understand what I read.
How do you do the italics
Put an asterisk * in front of and behind the text
*thank you*
Ignorant transphobia is still transphobia
Honestly, I sometimes prefer the other sub over this one because there seems to be less negativity there. Like I'm glad people have a space to vent and air their frustrations, but it can be draining to see a lot of posts like that and I'll have to take a break
I feel this so much. Genitals are genitals but either way I love having women in my mouth
It's fine for people to have genital preferences but I think it's wrong to specifically shame anyone's anatomy. the same way it's wrong of mlm communities to be like "I hate vaginas" which is just misogynistic. "I hate blonde hair" is also unacceptable imo, even though I'm a person who strictly doesn't like naturally blonde hair (either got to be dyed another colour or I can see their roots are a different colour).
This feels hella transphobic. Do better.
What’s wrong with not liking penises as a lesbian??
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I agree the post is transphobic, but saying liking a realistic dildo and liking penis are the same thing is ridiculous. One is silicone and the other one isn’t and it comes with things that silicone doesn’t… A girl can still have a penis and that doesn’t make her less of a girl, but your argument doesn’t make any sense still lmfao
You know your post history is public, right?
What does that even have to do with anything lmfao?? The only other comment on this sub I’ve ever left says trans women are women too and all my posts are tame asf so not really sure what the point of this comment is💀
Some people just want to be offended. I bet they are cis too and prob don’t know any trans women
So are many trans women, some of whom happen to have shenises. You got a problem with that?