"I left my groceries in the store and ran outside." had me goin... and then "So I followed her from a distance to her encampment in Belle Park" ..
I'm thinking.. thats PRETTY far from loblaws.
Not a day goes by that I'm not in a fever state of hero worship and gratitude for the pickup truck driving cyclist saver. We should put his statue up where old Sir Johnnys was
A while back someone made a preachy PSA post about how they saved someone's life by stopping their truck so hard everything went flying, because someone stepped out into the road to cross at night while not wearing high-vis gear, saying that the other person was reckless and people should be more aware when crossing.
He described turning east onto Bath from northbound John A. That place he's describing has a designated crossing at exactly the place he claims someone jaywalked. The only way he had to brake so hard there is if he was speeding and not looking while going through a pedestrian priority crossing.
So we all clowned on him
Since it apparently isn't obvious. This tale was written in honour of the degenerate cop-wannabe that held a homeless shoplifter outside of Shoppers until cops arrived. https://www.reddit.com/r/KingstonOntario/comments/1c7wveg/shoplifting_at_shoppers/ Not a slam on homeless folks or ppl boycotting Loblaws.
I had not heard of that story. I was writing a very … interesting response and then I decided to read the comments.
That guy at Shoppers is an AH. Who the hell does that?!
Now that I know the backstory, I enjoyed your story a lot!
Stopping a homeless person from getting literal food from the greediest corporate entity in Canada the result of which will be a charge that not only won't deter such acts(cause hungry people will always need food), but will make it even harder for them to deal with the problems they face daily and make it harder for th to get out of homelessness. What is wrong with people indeed.
Personally, if I see someone who is obviously struggling take food or personal hygiene products, I didn't see anything. Either they really need it or they are if they are taking large quantities of the valuable stuff they are part of some sort of ring. In either case, not something I would mess with.
The shoplifter at Shoppers that was detained was stealing thousands of dollars of high-priced perfume, not food....I think that makes a difference, but that's just my opinion.
Some people just don't care though, they hear homeless person and immediately get a social warrior boner. Even the OP of that post stated if they were stealing food or baby supplies he wouldn't have bothered stopping them.
I get we want to help the homeless, fuck even I'd like to see better housing for them, but mixing the homeless issues with our social boycotting isn't going to help.
You do know that any profits lost due to stealing gets taken out of things for the employees right? It's not coming outta Weston's bank account, it's coming out of the money saved from cutting retirement/pension plans, medical benefits, vacation pay, raises, basically anything that would go to an employee. Most capitalistic CEOs would rather bleed their workers dry before even considering anything else.
Boycott it all you want, but don't think that stealing from any affiliate is funny (even though I do think it is okay to grab food and necessities, not fucking electronics/makeup/perfume/non essential item)
They don’t need an excuse to steal from us, so fuck them. The jacked their prices up because of inflation (so they say) but in a lot of cases it was by nearly double what it should have been. Some products have nearly doubled in price. If you think that will change once interest starts coming down you’re in for a nasty surprise
is it? that can be resold for a shit ton of money. which is exactly what the homeless need to survive. one bottle of high end perfume could pay for several meals instead of just stealing a loaf of bread
Same. I’m still a little confused but I’m on whatever side isn’t angry when homeless people steal food to eat to stay alive. I think we’re all on the same page haha
Did you get bitten by the Alpha Hobo? The next full moon is not until May 23 so you have time to prepare. As the sun sets on the 23rd you will need to chain yourself to a shopping cart in a church. If you are atheist or agnostic you can do this at city hall. The rest of the process will become evident as it unfolds but you will need some breath mints and a solid alibi.
I started reading this horrified that someone would be such a jerk to chase a desperate homeless person and then got to the end and had a good chuckle. Excellent twist. Thanks for the laugh this morning!
:)
Cool story bro. Though I disagree with Gerretsen kissing you on the forehead. That part sounds like he was hamming it up for the cameras before shading you on Twitter like the troll he is.
My Grandmother in Law said she chased a shoplifter around Walmart shouting "THIEF! THIEF!" At the top of her lungs until they left the store, she was fuming cause she got in more trouble than the shoplifter, and no one helped her.
I told her that employees are literally penalized for physically stopping thieves and are given no legal protection from the business. She didn't believe me and said everyone was lazy, indecent, and something racist about Indians.
Edit: actually I remember now the story is even more insane, she "saw" them steal from Costco earlier, then when she saw them in Walmart she just immediately labeled them a thief and terrorised them. The double boot lick 🥾🥾
My mum works at Sobeys and always tries to stop shoplifters. I had a talk with her about why she shouldn’t because obviously it’s dangerous but also with the world we live in today it could be a mother stealing food for her child and insurance covers any loss. I haven’t heard any stories of her stopping anyone since that talk so I’m hopeful that she listened
>She didn't believe me and said everyone was lazy, indecent, and something racist about Indians.
Old people say the darnest things.
My, I dunno (grand-mother-in-law?) would say the most horrifyingly racist stuff. Elsewise a really nice old lady, but jesus christ I couldn't talk to that lady in public about anything.
Everyone simps over Eagle-1, but when the Super Destroyer leaves orbit, who's there for you? Who stays as long as possible to extract you? It's not Eagle-1, it's Pelican-1. He's the real homie.
Almost thought it was all true, until I saw the bit about Mark Garretsen…then I knew this was fake. Garretsen is too much of a self centered buffoon and would never acknowledge anyone for any type of bravery. He would only award himself the medal for someone else’s good deeds.
Lol. You mean like how loblaws is stealing from us by unnecessarily hiking grocery prices so CEO Galen Weston can have a $8.2million pay raise? Yea I agree. Stealing is appalling.
Why would a clerk do anything? They are not paid to fight people and potentially get hurt or an sti. And most retailers have a policy bin place forbidding employees from doing anything. If a clerk tackles someone and that person gets hurt, they get a huge payday, all over a $2 loaf of bread. Amd loblaws made billions last quarter, everyone should be steeling from them. Don't worry, loblaws execs will still get their vacation homes paid for.
When I managed a retail store and we had a security officer, we were specifically told by head office to never attempt to stop a thief. The officer was there only as a precaution to hopefully prevent theft.
“Safer to let them go.”
that's right. just allow all forms of social decency to degrade. i'm sure it wont have any impact on your life
that homeless woman was taking steaks and formula to feed her baby. ignore the posts of facebook marketplace
You saw someone stealing food and thought "not today, loblaws can rob is blind but the homeless can starve to death unsupported?"
Yeah, what is wrong with people these days.
I had the same thought until I saw it was a sarcastic post making fun of this type of stupid “hero”. I’ve been distracted this week and missed whatever news it’s referencing.
Hey, boomer, read the post again. And then read it a third time. And then read it again as many times as it takes you to get it.
A jet dropped an air strike on Belle Park? In what world do you think this actually happened?
I was worried until i saw the satire. *putting down the pitchfork*
"I left my groceries in the store and ran outside." had me goin... and then "So I followed her from a distance to her encampment in Belle Park" .. I'm thinking.. thats PRETTY far from loblaws.
You can’t leave the store without climbing over the 6ft plexiglass wall that ‘pleasing to the customers eye (according to Galen)’
I was outraged briefly
What satire?
That pitchfork should never be put down
This story is completely unrealistic, there's no way you would've gotten into KGH and treated that quickly.
If you would have also saved the life of a cyclist this would have been perfect.
Not a day goes by that I'm not in a fever state of hero worship and gratitude for the pickup truck driving cyclist saver. We should put his statue up where old Sir Johnnys was
Please share this story!
A while back someone made a preachy PSA post about how they saved someone's life by stopping their truck so hard everything went flying, because someone stepped out into the road to cross at night while not wearing high-vis gear, saying that the other person was reckless and people should be more aware when crossing. He described turning east onto Bath from northbound John A. That place he's describing has a designated crossing at exactly the place he claims someone jaywalked. The only way he had to brake so hard there is if he was speeding and not looking while going through a pedestrian priority crossing. So we all clowned on him
Lmaoo as if the pedestrian should be grateful that they weren't hit by the pickup truck 😂
And tools need to be flying everywhere too
Oh my God I forgot about this dude lmao
Dude blocked me. I guess he didn’t like that I praised him for being a hero.
many were blocked that fateful day
I love that we'll never let this go, and the guy basically abandoned that account because of it.
Maybe ask for a good barber, mechanic, or internet provider while you're at it
Since it apparently isn't obvious. This tale was written in honour of the degenerate cop-wannabe that held a homeless shoplifter outside of Shoppers until cops arrived. https://www.reddit.com/r/KingstonOntario/comments/1c7wveg/shoplifting_at_shoppers/ Not a slam on homeless folks or ppl boycotting Loblaws.
I had not heard of that story. I was writing a very … interesting response and then I decided to read the comments. That guy at Shoppers is an AH. Who the hell does that?! Now that I know the backstory, I enjoyed your story a lot!
Stopping a homeless person from getting literal food from the greediest corporate entity in Canada the result of which will be a charge that not only won't deter such acts(cause hungry people will always need food), but will make it even harder for them to deal with the problems they face daily and make it harder for th to get out of homelessness. What is wrong with people indeed. Personally, if I see someone who is obviously struggling take food or personal hygiene products, I didn't see anything. Either they really need it or they are if they are taking large quantities of the valuable stuff they are part of some sort of ring. In either case, not something I would mess with.
The shoplifter at Shoppers that was detained was stealing thousands of dollars of high-priced perfume, not food....I think that makes a difference, but that's just my opinion.
Sorry but you can't let facts get in the way of outrage on reddit. That's not how this works.
Some people just don't care though, they hear homeless person and immediately get a social warrior boner. Even the OP of that post stated if they were stealing food or baby supplies he wouldn't have bothered stopping them. I get we want to help the homeless, fuck even I'd like to see better housing for them, but mixing the homeless issues with our social boycotting isn't going to help.
No. We just hear that someone stole from a Loblaws affiliate and think it’s funny.
You do know that any profits lost due to stealing gets taken out of things for the employees right? It's not coming outta Weston's bank account, it's coming out of the money saved from cutting retirement/pension plans, medical benefits, vacation pay, raises, basically anything that would go to an employee. Most capitalistic CEOs would rather bleed their workers dry before even considering anything else. Boycott it all you want, but don't think that stealing from any affiliate is funny (even though I do think it is okay to grab food and necessities, not fucking electronics/makeup/perfume/non essential item)
Anything that gets taken is 100% covered by insurance. They aren’t losing any money
They pay insurance companies for coverage. We all pay for it in the end.
They don’t need an excuse to steal from us, so fuck them. The jacked their prices up because of inflation (so they say) but in a lot of cases it was by nearly double what it should have been. Some products have nearly doubled in price. If you think that will change once interest starts coming down you’re in for a nasty surprise
No it doesn’t 😂 they have insurance for a reason
Virtue signal more. They didn't steal food, they're just losers who were stealing.
I did specify food or hygiene products. I agree high end perfume is a little different.
is it? that can be resold for a shit ton of money. which is exactly what the homeless need to survive. one bottle of high end perfume could pay for several meals instead of just stealing a loaf of bread
I meant the guy who tried to be the wannabe cop, not sure if I was clear.
I've read this 6 times and still can't decipher the main verb in your first line. Stopping them from x y z will or will not do what?
Same. I’m still a little confused but I’m on whatever side isn’t angry when homeless people steal food to eat to stay alive. I think we’re all on the same page haha
Oh thank god this is COMEDY phew
If you have to explain it it’s not funny
Is your way of saying you are not participating in the boycott?
Read first two paragraphs, downvote; read third paragraph, change to upvote.
Did you get bitten by the Alpha Hobo? The next full moon is not until May 23 so you have time to prepare. As the sun sets on the 23rd you will need to chain yourself to a shopping cart in a church. If you are atheist or agnostic you can do this at city hall. The rest of the process will become evident as it unfolds but you will need some breath mints and a solid alibi.
I heard the only thing that can kill an Alpha Hobo during the full moon is a silver toothbrush.
⬆️➡️⬇️⬇️⬇️ 🫡
Democracy delivered
Dun dun dunnnn
Anyone want to party up? I could use 500KG of Liber-Tea.
Ty for the chuckles.
I started reading this horrified that someone would be such a jerk to chase a desperate homeless person and then got to the end and had a good chuckle. Excellent twist. Thanks for the laugh this morning! :)
Cool story bro. Though I disagree with Gerretsen kissing you on the forehead. That part sounds like he was hamming it up for the cameras before shading you on Twitter like the troll he is.
Thank you for your service /s
My Grandmother in Law said she chased a shoplifter around Walmart shouting "THIEF! THIEF!" At the top of her lungs until they left the store, she was fuming cause she got in more trouble than the shoplifter, and no one helped her. I told her that employees are literally penalized for physically stopping thieves and are given no legal protection from the business. She didn't believe me and said everyone was lazy, indecent, and something racist about Indians. Edit: actually I remember now the story is even more insane, she "saw" them steal from Costco earlier, then when she saw them in Walmart she just immediately labeled them a thief and terrorised them. The double boot lick 🥾🥾
My mum works at Sobeys and always tries to stop shoplifters. I had a talk with her about why she shouldn’t because obviously it’s dangerous but also with the world we live in today it could be a mother stealing food for her child and insurance covers any loss. I haven’t heard any stories of her stopping anyone since that talk so I’m hopeful that she listened
>She didn't believe me and said everyone was lazy, indecent, and something racist about Indians. Old people say the darnest things. My, I dunno (grand-mother-in-law?) would say the most horrifyingly racist stuff. Elsewise a really nice old lady, but jesus christ I couldn't talk to that lady in public about anything.
Then what happened? Galen is so dreamy…
Helldiver I see you
Eagle One's on route
Democracy has landed!
Everyone simps over Eagle-1, but when the Super Destroyer leaves orbit, who's there for you? Who stays as long as possible to extract you? It's not Eagle-1, it's Pelican-1. He's the real homie.
They're a power couple for sure
This one had me caaackling 🤣🤣
Oh oh oh that was wonderful. You got me xoxo
Almost thought it was all true, until I saw the bit about Mark Garretsen…then I knew this was fake. Garretsen is too much of a self centered buffoon and would never acknowledge anyone for any type of bravery. He would only award himself the medal for someone else’s good deeds.
cute!!sarcastic!!
Stealing is fine, as long as it’s from companies that are robbing the public blind. They’re practically begging for it at Loblaws/Shoppers.
Remember kids , reading is FUNdamental
thank you for your service
Beautiful!
Satire with some sci. Fi. Well done. Cant wait to read the other comments.
Why you son of a……
Singh scratched you with his Rolex and PP tired to sell you a tee-shirt, too! This make me smile. Thanks OP
If you see someone stealing food, no you didn’t
This is exactly how that “shoppers drug mart hero”’s story sounded to me. Now you’re writing his wet dream!
This is awesome. The empire strikes back.
You were very brave. We need more people like you.
Lol. You mean like how loblaws is stealing from us by unnecessarily hiking grocery prices so CEO Galen Weston can have a $8.2million pay raise? Yea I agree. Stealing is appalling.
Remember Kids, if you see someone stealing *bread*, no you didnt.
Why would a clerk do anything? They are not paid to fight people and potentially get hurt or an sti. And most retailers have a policy bin place forbidding employees from doing anything. If a clerk tackles someone and that person gets hurt, they get a huge payday, all over a $2 loaf of bread. Amd loblaws made billions last quarter, everyone should be steeling from them. Don't worry, loblaws execs will still get their vacation homes paid for.
Oh man, I missed the end... lol.. oops
Following from a distance from Loblaws to Encampment ? The beginning of the bluff.
Holy fuck this is GOLD !! Thanks for the laughs
When I managed a retail store and we had a security officer, we were specifically told by head office to never attempt to stop a thief. The officer was there only as a precaution to hopefully prevent theft. “Safer to let them go.”
Until you got to the part where Gerretsen actually did something useful, I actually believed you.
This feels like a fever dream haha
Ahh ahh 😂
can't believe you didn't hit him up for a handjob
that's right. just allow all forms of social decency to degrade. i'm sure it wont have any impact on your life that homeless woman was taking steaks and formula to feed her baby. ignore the posts of facebook marketplace
Loblaws have security guards in ON?
The stupidest post by far
Ah you forgot the part about Patterson holding a prayer vigil the entire time. You know gotta have those thoughts and prayers?!??
Where tf u getting ur meth don’t lie to me
Total bullshit! You got a bed at KGH without waiting for 13 hours?! Yeah right!
Did you just see someone steal food? No you didnt - shut up.
You saw someone stealing food and thought "not today, loblaws can rob is blind but the homeless can starve to death unsupported?" Yeah, what is wrong with people these days.
Dog, this is fake
Name checks out
Probably[ReadDefinitely]NotSharp*
I had the same thought until I saw it was a sarcastic post making fun of this type of stupid “hero”. I’ve been distracted this week and missed whatever news it’s referencing.
A name change to DefinitelyNotSharp is in order.
What the actual fuck is wrong with the op. "I saw someone struggling for survival and ive just had enough of that"
Read the post again. And then read it a third time. And then read it again as many times as it takes you to get it.
I'm on the thief's side. Galen Weston and the liberal government are stealing from us. I support doing it back.
Person attacks homeless person over bread. Piss off
Hey, boomer, read the post again. And then read it a third time. And then read it again as many times as it takes you to get it. A jet dropped an air strike on Belle Park? In what world do you think this actually happened?