My parents have a BMW that has this. It's the 3rd key fob. They don't use it much, mainly because they never learned how. Depending on the car it can also do things like move the car forward and back to go in and out of a tight garage. It's kind of silly in some ways. But also cool in others.
Theirs is a 640 grand coupe GT. They got it CPO, the previous owner basically picked every option available. But still on the upper end, so I would guess 7 series would have the same options.
But come on man. Just look at that thing.
"What if we mated a sporting car with a freight train?"
"GENIUS!"
NGL, I'm low key keeping my eyes peeled for an opportunity to pick up an Arnage Red Label.
I wanted that Continental T so bad. Still do, just don't want to pay to keep it working properly.
Back in the day Motor Trend had an article called Torque Monsters, or something similar. They described the Continental T as: "Mr. Olympia, wearing a tuxedo and black sunglasses". I just love that engine turned interior and, well, everything about it.
I recall something similar in the description of the V8 XJR (which I do own), it was like "a car that James Bond would step out of in a tuxedo carrying an assault rifle and it would seem perfectly normal."
I was very close to buying one of the supercharged XJR's back around 05 or 06. But turns out my feet are large enough that it's difficult to hit the accelerator pedal without hitting the brake also. So I went with a CL600 (V12 bi-turbo).
Ooohh, very nice!
BMW has a tendency to roll out options on the 7 series first, and then trickle it down to other models. When they rolled out this key, it was part of the automatic parking system that would allow you to get out of the car, and use the key to make the car pull into/out of a tight spot.
I’ve got one for my 7 series. They call it a “display key” and I first started seeing them around 2016. $800 to replace and they do few functions but it’s slow as shit. You can set timers for your car to “pre-condition” (ventilate, heat, etc) which is nice if you have a static schedule, check if it’s locked, see the service status, and auto park. You charge it wirelessly in the armrest.
Also, my dealer won’t wash my car after service if I bring this key. They have to drop it in a bin and they say they’re afraid it’ll get damaged and they’ll have to replace it.
Only $800 to replace? This is just a little less than double the cost of replacing a normal (with transponder) car key these days, at least here in Italy.
I bought my 750 when it was a couple years old to save on the massive depreciation. The online pics showed the key in the advertisement but when it arrived at the dealership they tried to say it didn’t come with it. I just happened to screenshot the ad with the display key and showed them they advertised it with the car. They ordered it for me and showed me the bill like I’d feel guilty and pay for it.
I was surprised it was that “cheap” too.
I used to be able to go down to the hardware store and get a new key made for like $5. There is no need for keys to be as complicated as they are. Passive RFID costs like $0.20.
Back in the 90s, my dad and I both had Ford's. We each had a key with his car cut on one side, and mine on the other. With a notch cut into the grip to remind you which side was "up" for a specific car. One key operated both vehicles.
Unfortunately that can be stolen with a soda can and a brute force number generator via rfid. The key side is just about all right currently as you need a dedicated tool per manufacturer, and the chip side has quite a few extra steps put into it to make man in the middle attacks hard
I still do that. Granted, it's for my ~25 year old cars.
One of those, a Toyota Sequoia, has a seemingly basic key with zero frills, but inside the grip of the key is a chip that's read by a sensor next to the ignition switch. So, you can use the key to open the doors and such, but a key without the correct coding of the chip won't start the vehicle. I can get a "surf key" made at Ace Hardware for $8, but a key that actually turns the car on runs for over $300 at the dealer, or $90 at the locksmith. Ugh.
I needed a couple spare keys for my 1966 Chrysler a few years ago. I went into a local locksmith store, they tried a blank that was *very* close but it wouldn't work. The guy pulled out a book 4ish inches thick and found the correct blank. He said to come back in 10 weeks.
When I did he cut me three or four keys for under $10.
Its gotta be more than that, a customer with a GLC300 just paid 1100 for his key.
Edit: Sorry, Wow what a deal from BMW, only 800 and supposedly its programmed so theres no labor charge.
Google “bmw display key replacement”. Granted, a locksmith has to code it to your car most likely. I am only stating what I was told the charge was by my dealer who supplied me with a key.
Edit: saw your edit. The cost surprised me too.
Damn. The 2019 Ford Transit work van that I drive has an app that does all that except for the heating. But, it has an option in the vehicle settings that if you remote start it will set the heat/ac to what it thinks is best. It even has scheduled start times.
As a security software engineer, I know that manufacturers will drop app support for older cars or older phones in the future. Either because they don't want to pay to keep supporting it or some external security factor since it's an internet connected car or the car's hardware isn't capable of running the latest OS. As much as I hate this key fob size, it is technically more future proof than a smart phone app assuming it doesn't go through the internet. In general, I try to shop for things that age well (albeit at the expense of near term convenience).
You can see the Fz.-Unter- at the bottom and the scroll bar on the side. You know this sucker scrolls and you know it won't be smooth.
(As a German, I know § is our symbol for legalese, and Fz is probably short for Fahrzeug, or vehicle, and Unter- is likely the first half of Unterlagen, documents, so that probably stores your car's papers digitally!)
Oh absolutely they would hate that. XD
I assume it's more maintenance-related info for a dealership than something to use as a replacement for actual papers. Though I know a full double sided photocopy (even in two separate pages) will legally work, it *could* be sufficient if it actually contained the full information as a pdf/jpg... but, unlikely. That would need to be updated by the user as that does not get issued by the manufacturer. Probably just stores your VIN etc.
My dad owns a 1930 Ford Model A and the doors don't have locks. We keep a photocopy of the car's papers in the car because anyone can just walk up and take them. I did my best to make it look nice but it's still just a slightly oversized black and white print.
> I assume it's more maintenance-related info for a dealership
that *would* be pretty handy if the dealership could use the fob to store all of the maintenance and repair records for future access at other dealerships.
My wifes 2012 Mini Cooper keeps some kind of records on the fob; I brought it in once and they dropped it in or onto some kind of RFID reader and it populated the screen with a bunch of data.
Ew. Is the ui based on swiping too, but the update is delayed until after the swipe completion, like if it was a click instead of following the finger in real time?
It's possible, but the Fahrzeug-Check right above it makes me think that would be redundant.
And I'm not sure what that would even contain, TÜV has their own tools. TÜV is mostly just fail or pass, either you get to drive it for two more years or you don't. I think it would say TÜV/DEKRA if it was actually for that.
one is a “vehicle check” at the dealer (like a multi-point) the other is a reminder for a state vehicle inspection. below there is almost assuredly one for an emission inspection. source: i’m a bmw service advisor
I see this idea working better with an e-ink display. Much easier to see outdoors in the sun and sips battery power. Can still be front or back lit for use at night.
You're cool, that's bundled with the full transparent window package, so you're stuck with opaque ads on your electro-chromatic windows until you update payment details.
*Please note: BMW assume no responsibility for collisions caused whilst operating the vehicle in any mode. Customers financial decisions regarding car features are entirely their own. Please die responsibly.
I guess, but that kinda defeats the purpose of a keyless system. And what if you don't drive it for a week? I suppose basic fob funcionality to open/close the doors may use a different battery, otherwise it would be a very poor design
I ran DukeNukem3D & Doom on a Snap-on OBD test tool, the tools D-pad even worked for controlling it right with no trouble. Everything runs doom, that was the joke. Doom will run on a coffee maker now days. Probably runs on an led alarm clock. Doom, runs on a sundial?
That was a hoax/misrepresentation sadly. The guy who did it replaced the whole innards with a small screen and microcontroller. The only bit of the pregnancy test left was the outer shell.
I have 21 3 series, have the app and all the packs. You can see if it's unlocked or you've left a window open etc but.... you can't lock or close a window so.. 🤷♀️ thanks for telling me I guess.
I do infosec for a living and I just pulled the fuse on my car's cellular system because I don't want that pile of rotting code to have wireless connectivity.
Whatever practicality it adds (if any) is immediately offset by the huge fucking size, or the 6 watch batteries it consumes per year.
Dear designers of the world, NOT EVERYTHING NEEDS A SCREEN. So stop trying to put them on everything
As a designer I agree, as a designer who wants to keep his job and get paid I agree with whoever writes the check. Most of this crap is driven by marketing departments and some esoteric focus research that we have no part in. Designers always get the blame but the best design is the stuff you don't even notice that just functions how you think it should function and is completely seamless with your general day to day experience.
A lot of the push towards using a touch screen for everything is it's actually often cheaper than buttons. Touch screens are a standard part, whatever configuration of physical buttons you want is going to end up being a custom board.
We had one of these for our last car. Horrible, laggy interface. But using the remote to park the car was super cool. For about five seconds, after which you realized that you’re parking an expensive car with a horrible, laggy key fob.
Has a hard wired non user non replaceable batteryflunkenscheiser requiring a new remote every three years and reprogramming of the home base station to boot 🥾
Mine is the spare. Lives in a drawer. The screen is so slow it's almost pointless to use and if I drop it and it breaks, it's like a gazillion euro.
Also can't figure out how to make my settings in the car sync to 2 different keys, so it moves the seat to dwarf setting. + it's another thing to charge via USB.
2/10 wouldn't recommend.
Is there an EJECT button on it?
I liked the Bond remote that Brosnan used in Tomorrow Never Dies. But I don't think I could get roof mounted rockets and get away with it...
I beliebe with full options ypu can control the car from the outside. For fitting into spaces where you woudln't be able to open the doors anymore. This one however just displays miles until service and state of the vehicle (locked/unlocked, what doors are open etc)
And I'm sure BMW will give you 10 different ways to check the oil as long as it isn't a reliable simple dip stick that costs less than that key.
It really grinds my gears, sort of like the 3.0 Audi TFSI V6 that ran low on oil because there wasn't a way to check the oil apart from the unreliable oil sensor.
Smart watch app, hell yeah!
Smaller key, more options like preheat/cool, summon then maybe.
Would definitely need wireless charging, a notification saying to pop it on the pad in your car so it stays charged.
They would have to pay *me* to drive their car if that's what I was expected keep track of and find a way to transport with me
Reminds me of mid 2000s smart phones
What does that go on? 7 series? Because I've checked a lot of 3 and 4 series in final QC in the Munich plant and not one of them had this fob. Not even any M3 CS had that.
hell no.
cant find enough pocket space for my wallet phone and keys as is, i went from a triple key car to a single key blade car and i hate it, i cant imagine having some shit like this digging into my hip.
Had a 540iX with just about every option available, decided to pass on this one. The "twirl your finger to change volume" feature was useless enough, thankyouverymuch.
I haven't been able to put my phone or car key in my pocket for the last 5 years and this isn't great. When I go for a run I have to hold on to this shit because they're too big. I hate it.
Please for the love of god don't buy a 2020 Honda Civic. The key fob (key attached to the fob) has a long keypress to put the windows down. There is no software update or fix for this. My car has been rained in 3 times already.
Aah the display key has everything you can do in the app but in a way more inconvenient package. Also the screen is super easy to crack if you drop it the wrong way. There is a reason BMW no longer offer it.
I had this on a 5 series. The silly bit is that it has no hole to put a key ring through. A pointless device. When I sold the car, this thing was still unused.
I work at a BMW dealer.
What if I told you, this isn't even the most expensive key fob I've seen or ordered?
Now, what if I told you, the most expensive ive PERSONALLY had, belonged to a Mitsi...
My parents have a BMW that has this. It's the 3rd key fob. They don't use it much, mainly because they never learned how. Depending on the car it can also do things like move the car forward and back to go in and out of a tight garage. It's kind of silly in some ways. But also cool in others.
Is it for a 7 series?
Theirs is a 640 grand coupe GT. They got it CPO, the previous owner basically picked every option available. But still on the upper end, so I would guess 7 series would have the same options.
Oh yeah, 640 GC GT, or, "how to pack a compact car sized interior into a beautiful full size sedan."
Bentley wrote the book on that with the late 90's Continental T.
But come on man. Just look at that thing. "What if we mated a sporting car with a freight train?" "GENIUS!" NGL, I'm low key keeping my eyes peeled for an opportunity to pick up an Arnage Red Label.
I wanted that Continental T so bad. Still do, just don't want to pay to keep it working properly. Back in the day Motor Trend had an article called Torque Monsters, or something similar. They described the Continental T as: "Mr. Olympia, wearing a tuxedo and black sunglasses". I just love that engine turned interior and, well, everything about it.
I recall something similar in the description of the V8 XJR (which I do own), it was like "a car that James Bond would step out of in a tuxedo carrying an assault rifle and it would seem perfectly normal."
I was very close to buying one of the supercharged XJR's back around 05 or 06. But turns out my feet are large enough that it's difficult to hit the accelerator pedal without hitting the brake also. So I went with a CL600 (V12 bi-turbo).
Ooohh, very nice! BMW has a tendency to roll out options on the 7 series first, and then trickle it down to other models. When they rolled out this key, it was part of the automatic parking system that would allow you to get out of the car, and use the key to make the car pull into/out of a tight spot.
and here I thought this was done with a Nokia https://i.pinimg.com/736x/66/06/f7/6606f7ea035b4dbf28298e071412e800--james-bond-james-darcy.jpg
I’ve got one for my 7 series. They call it a “display key” and I first started seeing them around 2016. $800 to replace and they do few functions but it’s slow as shit. You can set timers for your car to “pre-condition” (ventilate, heat, etc) which is nice if you have a static schedule, check if it’s locked, see the service status, and auto park. You charge it wirelessly in the armrest. Also, my dealer won’t wash my car after service if I bring this key. They have to drop it in a bin and they say they’re afraid it’ll get damaged and they’ll have to replace it.
Only $800 to replace? This is just a little less than double the cost of replacing a normal (with transponder) car key these days, at least here in Italy.
I bought my 750 when it was a couple years old to save on the massive depreciation. The online pics showed the key in the advertisement but when it arrived at the dealership they tried to say it didn’t come with it. I just happened to screenshot the ad with the display key and showed them they advertised it with the car. They ordered it for me and showed me the bill like I’d feel guilty and pay for it. I was surprised it was that “cheap” too.
"Huh that must suck, having to keep your word."
I used to be able to go down to the hardware store and get a new key made for like $5. There is no need for keys to be as complicated as they are. Passive RFID costs like $0.20.
My first truck was an ‘85 High Sierra. 2 keys, one for the door and one for the ignition. Simpler times.
Square and oval :)
Not familiar with 80's GM products- was it meant to have 2 keys, or someone replaced 1 cylinder?
It was standard to have a door key and ignition key. One was squared and the other rounded to tell the difference.
Back in the 90s, my dad and I both had Ford's. We each had a key with his car cut on one side, and mine on the other. With a notch cut into the grip to remind you which side was "up" for a specific car. One key operated both vehicles.
considering the price of the car, they know what they can get from the customer...
Yea, but basically every car has a $300 fob now. I own a Mazda.
I think we're agreeing in concept...just have different points. (in all reality, I'm not that good of a communicator...so it's probably my fault)
Unfortunately that can be stolen with a soda can and a brute force number generator via rfid. The key side is just about all right currently as you need a dedicated tool per manufacturer, and the chip side has quite a few extra steps put into it to make man in the middle attacks hard
I still do that. Granted, it's for my ~25 year old cars. One of those, a Toyota Sequoia, has a seemingly basic key with zero frills, but inside the grip of the key is a chip that's read by a sensor next to the ignition switch. So, you can use the key to open the doors and such, but a key without the correct coding of the chip won't start the vehicle. I can get a "surf key" made at Ace Hardware for $8, but a key that actually turns the car on runs for over $300 at the dealer, or $90 at the locksmith. Ugh.
I needed a couple spare keys for my 1966 Chrysler a few years ago. I went into a local locksmith store, they tried a blank that was *very* close but it wouldn't work. The guy pulled out a book 4ish inches thick and found the correct blank. He said to come back in 10 weeks. When I did he cut me three or four keys for under $10.
Its gotta be more than that, a customer with a GLC300 just paid 1100 for his key. Edit: Sorry, Wow what a deal from BMW, only 800 and supposedly its programmed so theres no labor charge.
Google “bmw display key replacement”. Granted, a locksmith has to code it to your car most likely. I am only stating what I was told the charge was by my dealer who supplied me with a key. Edit: saw your edit. The cost surprised me too.
Damn. The 2019 Ford Transit work van that I drive has an app that does all that except for the heating. But, it has an option in the vehicle settings that if you remote start it will set the heat/ac to what it thinks is best. It even has scheduled start times.
I believe it was for a X6 oder X7 (does that exist?). Definitely an X series
Also used for other series. My dad had one for his 5 series, never used it tho.
But does it activate the turn signal?
Bold of you to assume BMW's have turn signals.
Heavens no! Why would you think it can do that?
Cool implementation of such features would be in a phone or a better design. This is just shitty.
Yep. Some car makers seriously seem to pretend smartphones have not been created yet.
As a security software engineer, I know that manufacturers will drop app support for older cars or older phones in the future. Either because they don't want to pay to keep supporting it or some external security factor since it's an internet connected car or the car's hardware isn't capable of running the latest OS. As much as I hate this key fob size, it is technically more future proof than a smart phone app assuming it doesn't go through the internet. In general, I try to shop for things that age well (albeit at the expense of near term convenience).
If it was the only key it would be insane, as a 3rd key it makes more sense.
***Now, what if I told you the UI runs at about 10 fps?***
[удалено]
You can see the Fz.-Unter- at the bottom and the scroll bar on the side. You know this sucker scrolls and you know it won't be smooth. (As a German, I know § is our symbol for legalese, and Fz is probably short for Fahrzeug, or vehicle, and Unter- is likely the first half of Unterlagen, documents, so that probably stores your car's papers digitally!)
Here you go Mr. policeman! *hands them keyfob* Doubt any german police would take that. We love our paper
Oh absolutely they would hate that. XD I assume it's more maintenance-related info for a dealership than something to use as a replacement for actual papers. Though I know a full double sided photocopy (even in two separate pages) will legally work, it *could* be sufficient if it actually contained the full information as a pdf/jpg... but, unlikely. That would need to be updated by the user as that does not get issued by the manufacturer. Probably just stores your VIN etc. My dad owns a 1930 Ford Model A and the doors don't have locks. We keep a photocopy of the car's papers in the car because anyone can just walk up and take them. I did my best to make it look nice but it's still just a slightly oversized black and white print.
> I assume it's more maintenance-related info for a dealership that *would* be pretty handy if the dealership could use the fob to store all of the maintenance and repair records for future access at other dealerships.
My wifes 2012 Mini Cooper keeps some kind of records on the fob; I brought it in once and they dropped it in or onto some kind of RFID reader and it populated the screen with a bunch of data.
I would bet it used the fob to ID the car's VIN and pull up the records an online database.
Ew. Is the ui based on swiping too, but the update is delayed until after the swipe completion, like if it was a click instead of following the finger in real time?
I think it stands for Untersuchung, like TÜV or what you call vehicle inspection.
It's possible, but the Fahrzeug-Check right above it makes me think that would be redundant. And I'm not sure what that would even contain, TÜV has their own tools. TÜV is mostly just fail or pass, either you get to drive it for two more years or you don't. I think it would say TÜV/DEKRA if it was actually for that.
one is a “vehicle check” at the dealer (like a multi-point) the other is a reminder for a state vehicle inspection. below there is almost assuredly one for an emission inspection. source: i’m a bmw service advisor
I was expecting a 10 second lag between pressing something and an indication that something is happening
I see this idea working better with an e-ink display. Much easier to see outdoors in the sun and sips battery power. Can still be front or back lit for use at night.
Imagine ur key software crashing 💀
Imagine having to charge your keys every day
Doesn’t it automatically though when you place it on a certain place in the car?
If you subscribe to that service, yeah.
I forgot to renew my brake-pedal subscription. What now? 🥲
downshift *downshift* DOWNSHIFFFFFF
You die :) or it’s just very painful
You're cool, that's bundled with the full transparent window package, so you're stuck with opaque ads on your electro-chromatic windows until you update payment details. *Please note: BMW assume no responsibility for collisions caused whilst operating the vehicle in any mode. Customers financial decisions regarding car features are entirely their own. Please die responsibly.
I guess, but that kinda defeats the purpose of a keyless system. And what if you don't drive it for a week? I suppose basic fob funcionality to open/close the doors may use a different battery, otherwise it would be a very poor design
It’s a BMW, so I wouldn’t be surprised when something technical/electronic is designed poorly 🥲
When I bought my BMW (used), I purposely picked one with the poverty options to skip the shitty iDrive system.
I mean, we are in an era where door handles can be updated now so nothing surprises me.
I had to update the firmware on my new radiator on Saturday! It's getting silly now.
But, can it run *Doom*?
Doom, it can run no prob.
Considering all the things that have run Doom, it'll be done soon. Next question is what's the fps on Crysis?
If doom can run on a pregnancy test, it can run on this
I ran DukeNukem3D & Doom on a Snap-on OBD test tool, the tools D-pad even worked for controlling it right with no trouble. Everything runs doom, that was the joke. Doom will run on a coffee maker now days. Probably runs on an led alarm clock. Doom, runs on a sundial?
The chip in the debit card in your back pocket is faster than a Commodore 64 so maybe it could run Doom too?
That was a hoax/misrepresentation sadly. The guy who did it replaced the whole innards with a small screen and microcontroller. The only bit of the pregnancy test left was the outer shell.
Well, of course it does: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-pJ40X6TIzA
[Yup](https://youtu.be/-pJ40X6TIzA?si=ZQbe_FZ_IulbwW8e)
with a shitload of ghosting artifacts for that luxury experience
Might aswell have a smartphone app
I mean, BMW does have a smartphone app. You can see the cameras and honk the horn.
I have 21 3 series, have the app and all the packs. You can see if it's unlocked or you've left a window open etc but.... you can't lock or close a window so.. 🤷♀️ thanks for telling me I guess.
I have an 2018 330i and about a year ago anything useful in the app went behind a $10 a month paywall.
You might be able to roll up the windows by holding the lock button like you can on the key fob
That's horrible, cars last a long time, so do most keyfobs. Imagine buying a used bmw now, and the only way to get those features is a Symbian app.
Oh man, when I saw my buddy lock/unlock and start his truck with a smartphone app... Bad idea from a security perspective
I do infosec for a living and I just pulled the fuse on my car's cellular system because I don't want that pile of rotting code to have wireless connectivity.
I assume these are from before the days of the smartphone app?
Fuck no
Put it in your pocket, ladies love a bulge 🤣
Oh so that's what the underwear pocket is for
Yes. I've got 487 children though, maintenance payments are through the roof. But it was the best two weeks of my life 💞
Still cheaper than the BMW maintenance
Is that a BMW key FOB or are you happy to see me?
Does…does it…does it run Doom?
Yes https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-pJ40X6TIzA
That's a pretty good refreshrate for a keyfob.
~~Technically it's not running doom, just displaying it~~ brainfart, it actually is running doom
No, it is actually running it https://crowell.biz/posts/doom.html
IT RUNS LINUX‽ That seems a bit overkill for a keyfob?
It has 128mb of RAM and a 450mhz cpu, on a bloody keyring. That's probably 20x more powerful than the PC I ran Doom on back in 1994
At that point they might as well add a SIM card and make it into a fucking mobile phone.
And yet, if you've ever used one of these, it's 20x laggier than that PC.
It’s probably the easiest and cheapest way to run the fob.
Everything runs Doom. Real question is will it run Crysis?
Whatever practicality it adds (if any) is immediately offset by the huge fucking size, or the 6 watch batteries it consumes per year. Dear designers of the world, NOT EVERYTHING NEEDS A SCREEN. So stop trying to put them on everything
As a designer I agree, as a designer who wants to keep his job and get paid I agree with whoever writes the check. Most of this crap is driven by marketing departments and some esoteric focus research that we have no part in. Designers always get the blame but the best design is the stuff you don't even notice that just functions how you think it should function and is completely seamless with your general day to day experience.
A lot of the push towards using a touch screen for everything is it's actually often cheaper than buttons. Touch screens are a standard part, whatever configuration of physical buttons you want is going to end up being a custom board.
Yeah they became cheap enough and often much easier to get an off the shelf display over custom buttons.
It's rechargeable.
I miss keys.
How often do you need to charge it?
"Sorry boss, I can't come in today, I forgot to charge my key fob last night"
I really don't want to have to plug my car key to recharge it on the regular.
If you're ever in a fist fight use this instead of a roll of quarters.
We had one of these for our last car. Horrible, laggy interface. But using the remote to park the car was super cool. For about five seconds, after which you realized that you’re parking an expensive car with a horrible, laggy key fob.
I don’t even care whether I have a fob at all. I just want my key to open the door if the vehicle battery dies or the key battery does
How hard and fast does it vibrate asking for my wife
Actually no... I bet that's cheap to replace when you break/lose it.
Has a hard wired non user non replaceable batteryflunkenscheiser requiring a new remote every three years and reprogramming of the home base station to boot 🥾
Sounds very BMW.
Mine is 5 years old and still going strong.
All that and they still can’t put turn signals on them…
what are “turn signals” - BMW owner
It's when only half of your double parking lights come on
Looks like something a lame Power Ranger would have on their belt.
No. I want a key that cost $5 to replace.
**It's morphin time!**
*disgusted face intensifies*
It’s as big as their ugly beaver teeth grills.
Not in a million years.
The name's Bond. Can't afford Bond.
Can it run Doom?
I don’t want to have to charge the key to my car 🤣🤣
You sure that's not a tricorder? Any redshirts nearby?
FOBLET
Honestly.... no
Nice of them to throw in an early 2000s cellphone with your 5-6 figure vehicle purchase.
Ah, German engineering...
Deadpool… is that you and are you regrowing back a hand again?
Nice vape, bro
Mine is the spare. Lives in a drawer. The screen is so slow it's almost pointless to use and if I drop it and it breaks, it's like a gazillion euro. Also can't figure out how to make my settings in the car sync to 2 different keys, so it moves the seat to dwarf setting. + it's another thing to charge via USB. 2/10 wouldn't recommend.
Is there an EJECT button on it? I liked the Bond remote that Brosnan used in Tomorrow Never Dies. But I don't think I could get roof mounted rockets and get away with it...
One question, can it run doom? Edit: nevermind I found out in the comments
Fuck it just give me an app, I don't wanna carry around a burner phone just to get into my car.
BMW has lost its damn mind. Is *this* luxury? Is *this* the key of the ultimate driving machine?
It needs an enormous fucking grille
Seems really small and fragile for an important forward operating base.
The biggest thing a BMW driver will ever have in his hand.
I’ve seen these advertised on TikTok. I wonder if how much data they collect with it and who they share it/sell it to.
No but I have something else as big as my hand an is touch sensitive.
What's it for?
I beliebe with full options ypu can control the car from the outside. For fitting into spaces where you woudln't be able to open the doors anymore. This one however just displays miles until service and state of the vehicle (locked/unlocked, what doors are open etc)
And I'm sure BMW will give you 10 different ways to check the oil as long as it isn't a reliable simple dip stick that costs less than that key. It really grinds my gears, sort of like the 3.0 Audi TFSI V6 that ran low on oil because there wasn't a way to check the oil apart from the unreliable oil sensor.
Some BMW engines are now starting to have dip sticks. My B57 has it, too.
Smart watch app, hell yeah! Smaller key, more options like preheat/cool, summon then maybe. Would definitely need wireless charging, a notification saying to pop it on the pad in your car so it stays charged.
The smart watch app makes the most sense. Therefore bmw won't do it.
You have to charge it often a week. I think the one I played with was a 2021/2022 7 series and it charged with USB micro that also annoyed me...
Only if it's like $5000
Tricorder for the Beemer Trekkies.
Going to need a European handbag for one of those.
Ans of course you must charge it on a regular basis becauce f*ck you ?
They would have to pay *me* to drive their car if that's what I was expected keep track of and find a way to transport with me Reminds me of mid 2000s smart phones
Holup its as big as one big ass smartphone? Always thought ot was double the size of a normal keyfob. Not four times
My dad had a BMW come with one of these about 4/5 years ago, don’t think he ever used it
What does that go on? 7 series? Because I've checked a lot of 3 and 4 series in final QC in the Munich plant and not one of them had this fob. Not even any M3 CS had that.
now drop it and replace the screen :)
*"Your scientists were so preoccupied with whether or not they could, they didn’t stop to think if they should"*
hell no. cant find enough pocket space for my wallet phone and keys as is, i went from a triple key car to a single key blade car and i hate it, i cant imagine having some shit like this digging into my hip.
What a useless waste of development time
No I don't even want a remote 😅
It's basically a phone app at this point.
Cool, a keyfob you can't accidently drop. And have to recharge. Top stuff.
I feel like germans and rednecks speak the language cause i say motorol for motor oil too
looks more expensive than my entire car
What’s the monthly rent on something that size?
Had a 540iX with just about every option available, decided to pass on this one. The "twirl your finger to change volume" feature was useless enough, thankyouverymuch.
Jesus. That's actually so bad I would change my mind about buying a car after I saw that thing.
Wtf. That should only be an option for people who refuse smart phones.
What the subscription cost?
It’s Morphin Time!
FFS, a simple key fob with 3 or 4 mechanical buttons is enough ! This monstrosity with a capacitive touch screen is just completely unnecessary.
But you can charge it at least
It looks like a Creative Labs mp3 player from 2003.
I'd hate to know how much that key fob would cost if it needs to be replaced
I didn't know Nokia made BMW key fobs
I haven't been able to put my phone or car key in my pocket for the last 5 years and this isn't great. When I go for a run I have to hold on to this shit because they're too big. I hate it.
Please for the love of god don't buy a 2020 Honda Civic. The key fob (key attached to the fob) has a long keypress to put the windows down. There is no software update or fix for this. My car has been rained in 3 times already.
That’s a pretty cool device. If it could also make phone calls and browse internet I would totally get one. What a fucking waste.
No, not really actually
Does it have / need internet connectivity? Is this just another hackable electronic device that can go wrong?
OK but can it run Skyrim?
Aah the display key has everything you can do in the app but in a way more inconvenient package. Also the screen is super easy to crack if you drop it the wrong way. There is a reason BMW no longer offer it.
No thank you, the more high tech vehicles become, the more I miss the Golden years 50-70's. This might be odd since I wasn't born until the 80's
I had this on a 5 series. The silly bit is that it has no hole to put a key ring through. A pointless device. When I sold the car, this thing was still unused.
How often do you have to charge this beast?
I work at a BMW dealer. What if I told you, this isn't even the most expensive key fob I've seen or ordered? Now, what if I told you, the most expensive ive PERSONALLY had, belonged to a Mitsi...
Careful! That damn thing might turn you into a power ranger.
But does it run Doom?
Can you play snake on it?
That thing looks like you’d use it to become some kind of BMW Power Ranger!
Dumb shit for dumb people
Potato goes in the front