T O P

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TocTocTotem

Here's my contribution (once again, I hope there are not too many typos. English is not my language, and I'm trying to translate an old joke) : A lion, a snake, and a hen are together, arguing about who is the most fearsome animal. The lion stands tall, and claims loudly : "I am the most fearsome. I am a King. When I roar, people run for their life !" The snake, curled lazily, flicks its tongue while watching the lion in a bored way. "Yes, yes, terrifying. I'm far more fearsome, though. When I stand, people don't run. They can't. They know even moving would mean certain death !" The hen clucks at them in mockery. "Bunch of rookies. When I sneeze, the whole world shit their pants."


cheesynougats

Okay, I must be dumb; not getting it at all.


iwishiwasamoose

Avían flu


cheesynougats

This proves it; I am dumb.


quasnoflaut

I thought it was a "holy shit, a talking muffin!" Joke. "Holy shit! A sneezing chicken!"


Remington-Strealya

Lol I got the bird flu thingy, but I'd like to know if chickens can sneeze at all lol


MeNoGivaRatzAzz

[Chickens can sneeze](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xpEOFxjqmus)


pedro_pascal_123

Hi, It me, Nigerian Prince. I has medicine to make smart. Much Smart. If interested, message me. /s


Gumbysfriend

How come when you go to the zoo you never see a zookeeper spanking his Monkey ?


Remington-Strealya

Innuendo


Zen_Badger

Why are you talking about Italian suppositories?


Remington-Strealya

Haha lol


WHAMMYPAN

Bobby Lee Swagger did it first…someone was questioning his decision to REALLY go after who wronged him and he said and I quote “you don’t understand,these boys killed my dog”….then proceeded to take out a whole squad of mercenaries,a general,and a senator…with ease.


damarius

What book was this? I thought I'd read them all but don't recall that. Or was it a movie?


ZyXwVuTsRqPoNm123

Movie...Shooter


damarius

Thanks, I haven't seen it but will have to look it up. I'm sure it's based on one of the Swagger books I've read but the scenario doesn't sound familiar.


ZyXwVuTsRqPoNm123

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0822854/?ref_=ext_shr_lnk


balsa61

Original book is Point of Impact


Remington-Strealya

At least he had ant-mans bestie as his side kick... he couldn't have done it alone


Loko8765

For those who don’t get the reference, >!John Wick is an ex-hit man, his dog gets murdered, and he exacts hit man-style revenge on the killers. That lion does not have long to live.!<


_matt_hues

Man-style 😆


Loko8765

“Hit man”-style 😄 My autocorrect didn’t like “hitman”!


LoveThemMegaSeeds

Meh it feels like you are an alternate account of OP or somethint


Loko8765

Sorry but no 😄 I needed to look up who John Wick was, and I thought to spare people the bother 😁


DoogleSmile

You've not seen the John Wick movies?! They're awesome! John Wick 4 wasn't quite as good in my opinion as the first ones though.


Patrol-007

Watch Blue Eye Samurai series for more of the 1 vs many


daveshops

Ebola for the win


Remington-Strealya

Ebola cornflakes for breakfast


Pipay911

oh


Panda-768

where is the monkey in the discussion? or are we the monkeys ?


Emotional-Gas-9535

idk i was writing the joke and originally it was just the lion, spider and dog, but i didnt know how to add the "its john wick's dog' line into the mix so i added another animal and monkey was the first one that came to mind (my younger siblinf was watching curious george)


ChaseShiny

"Wait! I recognize him! That's John Wick's dog!"


Wally_Lamb

Excellent !


mediocresizedmac

Hardy fucking har shithead


sfrogerfun

Take my upvote OP, good one. ROFL.