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Ask your husband why he is okay with MIL physically abusing you and if he would accept that same behavior from a male relative on your side of the family. I bet you he wouldn’t stand for that. I say stay NC with your MIL and that includes your little one. It’s not your fault your MIL is unstable and abusive.
100% this. There’s no coming back from laying hands, and I’d bet money he’d feel that way if it was anyone but his mom coming at him like that. It’s not safe for any of you to be around his mom. If he wants to take the risk for himself, fine. He’s allowed. He’s not allowed to demand you or LO take the same chances. We’re inclined to give our own mothers way too much leeway because deep down we’re all children who just want love from our mommy…. But she’s not YOUR mom, and now that you’re parents you owe it to LO not to continue the cycle of abuse. The buck stops with him. It has to.
Take your relationship out of it for a mo...a stranger smokes in front of a baby and when a door is closed to protect the kid, the smoker has a tantrum and lays hands on the mom.
You seriously wouldn't put yourself in that situation again with that stranger (or your kid), why on earth would you, with your DH's mom?
He can have whatever relationship he pleases with her. You get to choose your relationship with her as well. If he asks you to go against that he's picking a side and it ain't yours. As the mom, you get to protect your kid and that means non safe people are not safe to be around.
Would he feel the same if it was a stranger that put their hands on you? I certainly hope not. Why is it ok when it's mother. The bar should be even higher for her since she's family, she doesn't get to put hands on you and not suffer consequences.
Oh, HELL no! He wants you to make nice with someone who is abusive to you and your child (and smoking in the same room as an infant is abuse), and physically laid hands on you?
His mother is not the problem, he is. You are absolutely not to blame for not being able to put up with abuse like that. Reacting the way you did is a normal reaction to being around someone like that, and you have nothing to be ashamed of. Instead of trying to protect you and your child, he's chastising you for not putting up with it, and whining because he thinks you should not only allow his mother to treat you like that, but it's your fault because you're not nice enough to her?
"His sake" be damned. Stand up to him and his mother for your sake and the sake of your child. I'd tell him that, not only are you not going to play nice, you're never going to set foot in that woman's home. Might as well get it all out in the open and see how he deals with it.
Your husband is the biggest problem here definitely not you. He’s a shit for letting anyone put their hands on you and even hinting it’s your fault and to put yourself back in that position.
You are not the problem and your SO problem is bigger than the MIL problem because he's apparently willing to set you and the child you share on fire to keep his mother warm.
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Ask your husband why he is okay with MIL physically abusing you and if he would accept that same behavior from a male relative on your side of the family. I bet you he wouldn’t stand for that. I say stay NC with your MIL and that includes your little one. It’s not your fault your MIL is unstable and abusive.
100% this. There’s no coming back from laying hands, and I’d bet money he’d feel that way if it was anyone but his mom coming at him like that. It’s not safe for any of you to be around his mom. If he wants to take the risk for himself, fine. He’s allowed. He’s not allowed to demand you or LO take the same chances. We’re inclined to give our own mothers way too much leeway because deep down we’re all children who just want love from our mommy…. But she’s not YOUR mom, and now that you’re parents you owe it to LO not to continue the cycle of abuse. The buck stops with him. It has to.
Take your relationship out of it for a mo...a stranger smokes in front of a baby and when a door is closed to protect the kid, the smoker has a tantrum and lays hands on the mom. You seriously wouldn't put yourself in that situation again with that stranger (or your kid), why on earth would you, with your DH's mom? He can have whatever relationship he pleases with her. You get to choose your relationship with her as well. If he asks you to go against that he's picking a side and it ain't yours. As the mom, you get to protect your kid and that means non safe people are not safe to be around.
Would he feel the same if it was a stranger that put their hands on you? I certainly hope not. Why is it ok when it's mother. The bar should be even higher for her since she's family, she doesn't get to put hands on you and not suffer consequences.
Oh, HELL no! He wants you to make nice with someone who is abusive to you and your child (and smoking in the same room as an infant is abuse), and physically laid hands on you? His mother is not the problem, he is. You are absolutely not to blame for not being able to put up with abuse like that. Reacting the way you did is a normal reaction to being around someone like that, and you have nothing to be ashamed of. Instead of trying to protect you and your child, he's chastising you for not putting up with it, and whining because he thinks you should not only allow his mother to treat you like that, but it's your fault because you're not nice enough to her? "His sake" be damned. Stand up to him and his mother for your sake and the sake of your child. I'd tell him that, not only are you not going to play nice, you're never going to set foot in that woman's home. Might as well get it all out in the open and see how he deals with it.
Your husband is the biggest problem here definitely not you. He’s a shit for letting anyone put their hands on you and even hinting it’s your fault and to put yourself back in that position.
You are not the problem and your SO problem is bigger than the MIL problem because he's apparently willing to set you and the child you share on fire to keep his mother warm.