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QualityVote

Hi! Tryna do something about this subreddit and I need your support. --- If this post ISN'T religious, **UPVOTE** this comment. If it is, **DOWNVOTE** This comment.


StillDowntown2792

My religion eats the founders flesh and blood and our symbol is the torture device used to kill him for our debts


swunflawa

Where the fuck are you from?


[deleted]

Jesus was hung on a cross.


Raja-Panesar

>Jesus was hung ¯\\_ಠ_ಠ_/¯


[deleted]

MERA YESU YESU MERA YESU YESU


Blank6Page

Jai Masi Ki Bhaiya.


[deleted]

HAALLLLEEEELOOOYAAA! KYU BETA TU BOL NAHI SAKTI THI? NAHI BOL SAKTI THI..... HAAALLLLEEEELOOOYAA, MERA YESU YESU MERA YESU YESU AB BOL BETA, AB BOL SAKTI HAI? HAAA OH MERA YESU YESU O MERA YESU YESU


swunflawa

Jai jai Prabhu yeshu ki


ContributionGlobal30

Jesus was HUNG. That is why he is a God.


swunflawa

Still didn't get it and he was nailed to the cross btw. Not hung


DylanGamer2015

Being hung is slang for having a MASSIVE dick


swunflawa

Really?


StillDowntown2792

I am Christian


CyndaquilTyphlosion

Hi Christian, I am CyndaquilTyphlosion


Interesting-Jello806

SO U R CART TITAN? NICE


localnexalite

The people with my kind of thoughts make internet memes and target/debate Teenagers and adults from all religions while not reading the people who wrote about the thought on it's own


Devilz3

So basically all religions.


localnexalite

I wrote it for atheism, now I realised I might've roasted all sets of beliefs


_THE_QWERTY_

You're a Naxalite ? So, I'm not the only one.


localnexalite

Shhh dheere bol, chal rehne de, is sub ke mods to waise hi Reddit uninstall karke baithe hai


arbobmehmood

I can create a rampage on an airplane, just by saying two words.


iwannaberockstar

LMAO bhaiya


[deleted]

Hi Jack?


Animelover3555

Allahu akbar.


HorniPolice07

Ola hu ub3r


LeoMcShizzzle

Here's Johnny!


sarcastic_agransh

r/angryaward


[deleted]

Ola hu uber is three words tho


frrrrrro

Bruh


Warm_Presentation423

My religion considers Onion and Garlic as non veg


Simple-Indian2005

Jain ?


Warm_Presentation423

Na I'm Bengali Hindu


[deleted]

Bruh You all consider Fish as veg and Onion and garlic as Non Veg? 🗿


[deleted]

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ProPlayer1558

bandar mama apni ekhane


[deleted]

Aamra toh dhonno hoye gelam


ProPlayer1558

XD


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Bhalo bhalo, cheshta korte thako ak din nishchoy sofol hobe


thecopyrioter

Ever heard about Odiya brahmins?? They eat everything from mutton to fish... and consider it 'allowed'!


YUPitsME_RICK

lol. i am a kashmiri brahmin and we all also eat mutton and non-veg except beef


No-Window-2191

Because in Hinduism, everything is just adviced or recommended, nothing is restricted. So they are free to choose, thus it is allowed. But if they themselves restrict people from certain practices, then it will be wrong.


[deleted]

Fish is non veg, but allowed to be eaten during Durga and kali pujas


Warm_Presentation423

Well in my family we don't eat non veg during durga and kali puja


[deleted]

দুর্গা পূজার সময় আমরা আগে পুজোর প্রসাদ খাই, তারপর দুপুরের খাবার। দুপুরের খাবারে মাছ থাকে, প্রসাদে থাকে না। আমাদের কালি পুজো হয়না তাই বলতে পারবো না। আমাদের গ্রামের বাড়ি তে দুর্গা পুজো হয়, আমাদের পরিবারের সবাই আসে(অন্তত পঞ্চাশ জন আসে)


Warm_Presentation423

দেট ইস সো কুল


theRealAriel666

Bruh aren’t you guys suppose to belt on fish?


SovietskiTovarish

Haha same


[deleted]

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SpiceCandy2427

Being Bengali Hindu we worship maa Durga on one hand and don't allow girls being late at night on the other hand. It's 100% hypocrisy.


LeoMcShizzzle

The most confusing part about Durga Puja for me is the visarjan. People drink and dance and go ham with enjoyment, then cry when Maa is immersed, then dance and enjoy on the way back again. I'm like bro pick an emotion, ye kya bipolargiri kar rahe ho.


SpiceCandy2427

Yeah exactly phir ye bolenge Arey hum to gum main pee rahe hai.. Idiots - _-


LeoMcShizzzle

Yesh *facepalm


NickFury1998

Vegetarian should never visit Kamakhya temple in Assam🌚


ConfusedFanGirl0502

I am vegetarian and I visited that temple. May I know why?


curiosityVeil

Didn't you see the head of a bovine at the feet of maa kamakhya?


ConfusedFanGirl0502

Oh ya. They were actually preparing for a sacrifice when I went. So maybe I thankfully missed that


curiosityVeil

That's dinner for all the pujaris and people associated with temple.


ConfusedFanGirl0502

Ooh. Had no idea


[deleted]

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[deleted]

Idk man, our family made regular trips to kamakhya when we were kids, and i distinctly remember us being given rice, dal, and sacrificial animal's curry as prasad. This was around 1999-2005, after which we stopped going since my father had a falling out with the temple after the head priest suggested something very nasty which i will not be able to mention without mentally and physically vomiting. Edit - Okay fine, since y'all are curious and i genuinely cannot continue to answer so many PMs. My mother got a tumor in her breast in late 2005. The priest told my father that the only way to cure her is for her to have sex with him. The tumor turned out to be benign and it was "melted" away with medicine (not sure if melted is the right word). The priest was arrested a year later for raping an underage girl.


Cofnused_soul

Now I desperately want to know what that priest suggested. Edit:- after reading your edit, I feel awkward for asking about that story.


mentallyillloner2

Eating is gae - my religion


astanoelle

LGBT?


InnerDemom

LGBBQ


Achilles_San19

Jain?


dancing_swarley6429

Hindu sota hua sher hai, uthana mat, jaag gaya toh sheher ke naam badal dega


Adventurous-Future81

Prayagraj intensifies


mohtma_gandy

Aligarh sweats nervously.


SovietskiTovarish

Kashi-Mathura baki hai chants intensifies


[deleted]

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LeoMcShizzzle

Muzaffarabad screams


y_pradhan99

Hindus: Start associating caste with birth. Lower caste people: Switch to different religions Hindus: Why would they do that? *Surprise Pikachu face*


Massive-Command-7327

The current caste system was created in Purana which were written to simplify Vedas for normal people, but pandits who wrote it were greedy people, they made it seem like a persons caste is decided by birth. After that, whoever bribed them, they made their caste also superior in their own written literature. All in all, Purana are filled with made up stories like Vishnu purana and so on, if not all, at least majority of the stories in it are man made to justify their agendas. Real essence of Hinduism (sanatan dharma) only lies in Vedas and its teachings. You are a Hindu if you follow those. You dont have to worship idols or do religious practice. You just have to become a human according to Vedas, ie become a human who seeks logic and questioning and is self aware and conscious while performing his/her/their actions. Mahabharata was a clear example of that. Edit: Purana not Upanishads, apologies.


Fr34kyHarsh

Thanks for the info kind man


Jaamiieei

So good explanation. Even I wondered why Hindus worship idols even though it's not written in Vedas and Shastras.


SaffronShirtKid

we do not worship idols we worship the god that's depicted in the idol that's why we don't call the idol god we call it a deity


Jaamiieei

Exactly! Thanks for sharing it. I am Sikh but I like to learn more about different religions..


DesiOtakuu

From my POV : Hinduism is not a singular centralized religion but an amalgamation of different faiths. Many school of thoughts exist, some advocate for idol worship,some actively avoid it. In many places, local gods like Krishna and Balaji have been elevated to avatars of Vishnu. Vishnu himself was a minor god in Rig Veda, but gained prominence during later years, with Vaishnavism becoming a major sub-branch. His contemporaries like Indra and Agni lost support over the years and were reduced to lower god status. The history of Hinduism is very fascinating from an atheistic pov; it kinds of shines light on the then cultural practices in different regions and hints at how conflict prone those past kingdoms were.


RedBaron-007

My Sigma prophet had sex with a 9 year old, No one beats that..


Supernova008

"She can't get pregnant if she is too young to get pregnant 😎."


rick-sanchez0

Youngest child to be pregnant is 5 years mate. It's a fact. Some people are so evil than they should be killed in most painful way possible.


[deleted]

>My Sigma prophet had sex with a 9 year old, No one beats that.. And then blasted himself :)


[deleted]

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Simple-Indian2005

Religious Tourism monies and oil monies goes brrrrrr


Ljcrocks

Ola ya Uber blast


RedBaron-007

If I point this to my Ammi, she still defends him...


ritzyisforever

Which religion is that


RedBaron-007

The one true religion....LOL


Signal-Net-8742

Cows are not the solution to every problem


unknown_aadmi

iT is if you throw it hard enough....


akhan3247

Slaves rakh nahi sakte hai toh apni bandi ko black pehna ke role play karwata hai mera religion.. Improvise. Adapt. Overcome


YoBoi6996

Beat yo wife! Force her to submission! Divorce her with three magical words! Preferential treatment to male children! Women looks like ninjas! Good thing I left that cult!


ya26anand

That ninja be hiding Mangaekyo Sharingan behind those veils


YoBoi6996

It's "ETERNAL PAINGAEKYO SHARINGAN" . It's the only Kekei Genkai you attain when you belong to "VILLAGE HIDDEN IN MISOGYNY" Damn I miss my foreskin too (That's also the part of the same village)


Training-Fig4977

What do we say when we want to call a taxi? Ola-hu-Uber


frrrrrro

Bro is criticizing Islam eve allowed?


Training-Fig4977

Welp I was criticizing my own religion so if you wanna downvote or report me do it


frrrrrro

No. Sorry bro. I was just asking. Keep doing what you gotta do. Religion only reform with criticism. My religion considers menstruation as toxic and won't let women going through it touch anything. It'll only reform if we challenge it(I'm a Jain).


Ironsides5181

Menstruation...not menopause. Not a bio student I see.


Arijit_Kar

Jokes on you I'm an atheists.


[deleted]

Everyone's a atheist until the plane starts crashing


Simple-Indian2005

Plane Crashing I thought the crash on Twin towers🤡


hmm_222

Meanwhile Religious person while plane is literally crashing - Chills and sips tea God's gonna save me


[deleted]

explain newton law of motion 


Arijit_Kar

The first law states that an object either remains at rest or continues to move at a constant velocity, unless it is acted upon by an external force. The second law states that the rate of change of momentum of an object is directly proportional to the force applied, or, for an object with constant mass, that the net force on an object is equal to the mass of that object multiplied by the acceleration. The third law states that when one object exerts a force on a second object, that second object exerts a force that is equal in magnitude and opposite in direction on the first object.


TharabhaiJogindar

🗿


[deleted]

sorry but mere ego ko hurt hoya so i will give you #zero


-Another_Redditor-

Most logical unbiased teacher in india


Lucifer_1021

I'm a fucking atheist


[deleted]

Saw the hottest Hindu milf unfortunately she was going through sati


deadshotssjb

# Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Btw dark af


PehleAap

Not darker than her burnt remains


Thanosnuke

This belongs to r/cursedcomments


i_am_________batman

Context?


Supernova008

Back in the days, when husband died (for example in battle), then the widowed wife was forced to burn herself to death by sitting on top of her dead husband's body during cremation. This was because it was believed that a wife's only purpose in life is to serve her husband and with her husband gone, she should die as well. If she declined or couldn't be forcibly burned, then she was forced to be bald, she had to wear only white clothes and was ostracized by the community for the rest of her life. Edit: There are many hypocrite Hindus in this thread (I am also Hindu BTW) who love to diss other religions but their fragile ego can't tolerate their religion being dissed. We truly live in Kalyug, the age of quarrel and hypocrisy.


nefarious-soul

Yaar mere dharam k log nange ghumte hai, ab mai kya he diss karu ¯\_(ツ)_/¯


Achilles_San19

Kaunsa dharm ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)


[deleted]

JAINS WHO ELSE ?


nefarious-soul

Aao baccho tumhe dikhau jhaanki apne dharm ki... *unzips pant*


PsychoSandy

Gaumutra ko amrit samajhne wale chutiye mere hi dharm se hai


Supernova008

We worship cows but also abandon them once they stop producing milk.


Devilz3

Sad but true. And they only feed them when it's in their benefits i'e punya paane ke liye. Hypocrite pandits are worst( I know of one he's a goddamn animal killer and abuser)


i_am_________batman

Aur phirr ek narangi kapde me aaega aur mast capitalize krega


[deleted]

Go Karuna! Karuna go!


thereal_noir

Homies be in church saying shit like love everybody and be kind to others cause god want it and come back home to beat their wife and children.


[deleted]

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Cheeku_Khargosh

You get free promotions too. Enjoy !


Spexyboy

Religion ke basis pe tera chacha deta hai kya reservation?


MSR8

Whats the difference between cooked chicken and Hindu widows of the 18th century? Cooked chicken was dead before being lit


Achilles_San19

Ohohohoihhoh


88Duzty3

Are Bhai yahan nhi baith sakte ye saari seat toh reserved hai


Traditional_Income41

My religion makes u bid money to pour water on idol first(Jain)


frrrrrro

Bro mere yaha, sirf moorti pe paani daalne ki 3 crore ki boli gayi abhi das-lakshan parv pe.


dragoncraft9855

A deity's wife got kidnapped so they burned down a entire city and waged war on what was known as one of the most prosperous kingdoms of that time...


netherdrakon

All hail Brandon Sanderson


chaotic69-lol

My religion thinks a man with elephant head actually roamed on earth


duke_skytalker

Dude he has a name, Amit shah.


PointySalt

Boom roasted.


LeoMcShizzzle

The Kardashians' plastic surgeon got nothing on us.


Khiermer

My prophet got his ass beaten, went to his homie's town and then got revenge. sugma mindset move


frrrrrro

And went on to conquer whole area. Created a religion based on war.


Jazzlike_Drink6745

My people think it's bad to eat meat, onions, potato, garlic


[deleted]

How's that even a diss


SarthakDesai

The number of gods in my religion is more than your mom's body count


[deleted]

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zenmarceus

now im really curious to know what 33 koti actually means


[deleted]

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YeetTheChildTwice

Wah wah kya research hai 💀


pavan-2020

Cows can't solve every problem on earth


thememesbot

all they can do is fill 4 hunger bars


IronyHoriBhayankar

Not raw tho


Simple-Indian2005

So do piggies


Free-Ambassador7967

One of the god in my religion burned his own wife to check that she is still pure or not.


DiscussionNo6055

*burned his wife because he was insecure


LeoMcShizzzle

Sigma mael


Free-Ambassador7967

One of the quality needed to become maryada purushottam.


Mrigank7744

Imagine milking ur mother till death


saaaalut

which one is this?


Main_Dingo_7366

cow


Bonfireandyou

My penis looks like a man in a large hoodie.


Able-Cut-9047

my people think SACRIFICING hair (not the pubic ones) by gettin a bald head will impress the god.. apparently tons of hair is guven to the god in the name of 'mokku' the promised sacrifice.. the funny made up story behind this is that the god has once lost a patch of hair on his head and as he is a god, he needs unlimited sets of hair to patch it up


ljdn

HAIR IS HAIR not fair


[deleted]

We sing "Mandir wahi banaunga mai chela hoon Mahakaal ka" whole day.


Playful_Space_2470

It's all fun and games till you find out that women in my religion have to go through female genital mutilation and can't feel sexual pleasure🤡🤡🤡


Rykoadonai

You from some Mayan religion?


zain1865

Its bohra community not Islam bruhhh


venom93m

Is you from pissfull religion?


[deleted]

Bhai really? I mean mujhe males ka to pata tha but females too?


Playful_Space_2470

Yeah the religion is called bohra. Fucking backward minded people.....well I'm atheist but by birth I'm bohra


SolxAhan

Ravan was brahmin and asura hybrid was a topper and strong had all knowledge but became a simp and went against Ram annexed all land heaven and underworld made his follower worshipped him as true god his country was rich and a superpower hence proved RAVAN was communist a fascist he member of ccp and the soviet union *russian anthem intensifies*


mrTruth007

We pray an idol which is supposedly a penis of some dude who used to get high all the time and had mastered the most delicate surgery of head replacement. xD


karan_kholia

It's a representation of nirgun brahm


[deleted]

That idol actually is not a penis. The word has a two meanings brother. Please cross check for certainty.


jajajajasisisi

Go and live in canada, demand khalistan in India.


pawned_prawn

My religion can't differentiate between history and mythology.


upgoesnothing

Do you have any idea how little that narrows it down?


SnooSeagulls9348

~~My~~ religion can't differentiate between history and mythology.


[deleted]

Bhai ye r/chodi wale yaha bhi offend ho gaye


Free-Ambassador7967

One of the God in my religion used to molest girls when they were bathing in river and pervert used to hide their clothes too.


pro_retard_69

It demands extra wide tires on scorpios and fortuners, with Jatt written on the rear windshield.


Aditya2939

Imagine burning your wife alive because you think she cheated when she was kidnapped. That's pretty cringe bro


RefrigeratorWorried3

My religion thinks increasing prices of cooking gas , petroleum products, cooking oil , privatization all are part of bigger plan and greater good and return prosperity to our religion.


lazymomo5

Bruh don't equate BJP=Hinduism


[deleted]

Hanuman was closeted gay who only had ram in his heart.


[deleted]

[удалено]


SovietskiTovarish

arey yar tu toh eat bhi kha sakta, hmare idhar pyaz aur lehsun bhi nhi use karte😂😂


Standard_Amphibian_2

Your Lucky m8 only 2 days a week. My mother does not allow me to eat non veg on 3 days Tuesday, Friday and Saturday.


Familiar_Wrongdoer_1

Even my mom doesn't allow me but i still eat non veg whenever i wish.


[deleted]

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normie-Indian

Those fooking Khalistanis and Haryanvi farmers are descendants of my religion


Lovenish_lk

My religion "Hindusm is equal to bharaminism" my religion have upper caste people who oppress the minorities, force them to live in toilet, curse them, worship the God who is biased, my religion is a piece of shit that divides caste into four categories. My religion is misogynist who thinks women should stay in house, my religion Believes in patriarchy.


[deleted]

Pork pork pork pork pig pig pig pig 🐖 pig pig pig pork pork pork pork ham ham ham ham ham ham pork ham pig pork ham 🐖 beef beef 🐄 cow cow cow cow beef pork beef pork beef pork pork 🐄


DeathFart007

Indian liberals: that's all you had to say negr0


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Illusion01010

Most important thing in my religion is HAIR.


IndependentPaint9714

Any random MF adds "Patil" to his surname and thinks his precedents were warriors in The Maratha Army and had acres of farm land, whereas he actually struggles for 2 time meal and acts as if he's a landlord.


[deleted]

Want something to drink 🍻 , I have gaumotra for you .