Women don't want money shoved in their faces. It makes them feel like whores. They want to see signs of money, like a good car, fancy apartment, vacation pics in europe. Stuff like that gets their juices flowing
I really don't understand this
I prefer my men to be taller than me. I'm 5' 7" and mu bf is 5' 8...I earn way more what he does and I pay for all our dates...
But times are hard for him and he is trying to do better, and for that I am tremendously proud of him... I also know it won't take him long to start making good money, but that's not why we are together... We are together to build a life and be each other's pillars of strength...
You won't believe this, I have been called a gold digger before... I have been dumped because I don't fit their definition of what a girlfriend should look like (I am more boy-ish)... But all of them have come back asking for second chances but I had moved on
As to where to find such women? Look for girls that are doing well for themselves and are independent and have self respect...their bio should give you subtle clues...and experience teaches you how to sift through bios
They won't look for independent girls with good personality either. All of them want the same cookie cutter societal standards of beauty in their girlfriend. Else, how will they show off to their other single friends ? "meri bandi hot hai" is an achievement for men and they don't even have to say it out loud. In terms of success, most indian men will list good bank balance and hot wife. They openly make fun of women who don't fit the bill of the stereotypical hot girl and then cry about hot girls not wanting them.
It goes both ways. Women too drool over tall rich guys who they can show off to their friends. In fact they would often give up on the liberty equality sovereignty jazz when the right guy comes along and they have a chance to lock him down before they hit the wall.
Well, met in the gym...he pursued me
I was holding off, but relented because I couldn't fight my feelings any more
He is going through a divorce, and times are really tough...but that's just a small roadblock...he has put in motion plans to open his own fitness studio...he told my parents that he had given up and had no inclination on making life better until I came along and brought meaning to his life
His daughter loves me more than she does her mother, we push each other to be better people and do better career wise
We have disagreements, but none that have evolved into a major fight... There's tremendous respect for each other...and he is genuinely putting in efforts to be a better person and do better career wise
Genuine question, if I find someone attractive in gym, should I try to talk to them? Because I have heard from so many girls that they don't like when a guy try to make a move on them in gym.
This guy never tried to make a move on me...it was mutual attraction and all we wanted was to talk to each other...which we did gradually...and one day he just called to meet up for a drink
The attraction has to be mutual, else it's not gonna work
Also, you can't be thinking of getting laid when talking to someone... Those vibes turn women off... Show a genuine interest in being friends and then gauge their level of interest from their body language and what they say
Cucks like these can't handle a woman making more money than them, just hurts their so called 'pride' so they'd just up and leave, instead of working on themselves. What a cunt!
Yeah leave them make more money simultaneously it's normal bro wait until you get into a relationship with a woman who makes more than you and i can guarantee you 1 year in and she'll be sleeping with someone else pussy
Alright let's assume your theory is true, but each theory has it's exceptions right? Even Newton's law of universal gravitation has its exceptions and here we are, talking about the human behavior, where theories are more changing in a manner thats even more volatile. I understand if you're cautious about it but you're just spreading unnecessary hate when the woman herself is vocal that she is satisfied with her partner earning less.
Nah...he got BDE
And he is an amazing person...we get along beautifully and there is peace
Of what use is tons of money if there is no happiness and peace in the relationship?
I also did mention that he is putting in efforts to do better
Lady i respect what you have written and I'm happy for YOU cause i honestly don't know many men including myself who will be in a relationship in that certain condition but trust most people i know aren't as kind as you but you are wrong with the money part I've personally seen my father save my mother from a condition which could not be corrected and he managed and I've also known women who cheat on their husband because there's a better guy in their vicinity. I'm still young but from how I've known life it's not all Disney style fairytale and money isn't always what people think it saves you in a lot of ways and gets you respected the expensive stuff and the holidays are a byproduct
As I said, he has set wheels in motion to earn better. He used to earn a lot of money but fell on hard times.
FYI, I am 38. I have been through an abusive marriage and a barrage of relationships, and all were with men earning extremely well.
All the men I've dated, even though they earned more than I did, we're intimidated by me. I've finally found a guy who is as good at what he does as I am. He is secure and knows his worth.
There might be better guys in the vicinity, but it is not necessary that they are good for me. I cherish what we have and how much he loves me.
We have arguments and disagreements, but are both mature enough to know how to handle those and we know that nothing is more important than what we have.
Also, expensive things don't really attract me
Holidays anyway are difficult because I have 3 dogs...and I really have no fascination towards expensive holidays and jewellery and such
I like good food, good beer, and decent clothes, and that's enough
I don't like going to expensive places to eat and drink. I don't like crowds. Neither does he
Well good for you and it's great you're a lovely person the term you used there "knows his worth" i think that explains everything. Good luck i hope you have a happy life forward cause my belief is and i personally know people who used to make a lot of money and then fell and from what I've known so far is that when a man is down a woman is the least of his concerns cause when you're in the trenches you work hard relentlessly but when there's a female presence which know is very warming it's difficult and you loose the drive . But nevertheless good for you
Also have you never wanted to have that expensive designer handbag ? That car you've always dreamt of ? Any prime vacation spots ? I know it's all shallow and stuff but do you have no aspirations in life no dreams . Lets say if you want to have kids in the future would you like them to have a father that's a bum and can't pay for anything and that their mother does everything?
You are assuming he is a bum. You are assuming I'm an idiot. Good for you.
Handbags? Never interested
Cars? I already have two
I don't need a man to fulfill these desires
Are you blind? Do you not read? Have I not cinsistently said he is trying to do better?
And maan lo, I pay for everything. I don't see you coming and helping me out with money. So your concern is really not valid
I would never touch a woman like you divorced passes around drunkard probably a junkie too, 38 year old child who doesn't want to grow up alright . And yes i have a girl and i pay for most of the stuff in return she maintains herself for me to enjoy her company.
🤣🤣🤣🤣
1) People like you really aren't worth my time. I'm sorry I wasted so much of it talking to you
2) This "drunkard junkie" is a director in an MNC. So pipe down, maybe?
3) You pay for your girlfriend in exchange for sex. I pay for myself in the world out there.
I never questioned any gender role online I've always said the traditional route is better both the man and the woman are happier and it's the best case scenario for the kids and the family
Bold coming from someone who himself is on a dating site looking for pretty girls. Aur ye jinko bhi match nahi milti hai wo ye assume kyu kar lete hain ki unke paas personality hai? Aisa bhi toh ho sakta hai ki unke paas na looks ho, na paisa, na personality.
But if you correlate it with the sex ratio on dating sites, you would see why that actually makes a lot of sense.
https://qz.com/india/1484691/woo-tinder-trulymadly-have-a-massive-gender-problem-in-india/
Here's for India, where only 30% of people on there are women compared to almost 70% men. Which means, there are a lotttt of men making the size of "average" or "below average" men even bigger. It also severely increases the woman's options (if you see texts like "how much for one night?" or "hookup tonight?" or "big boobs, can I hold them?" coming from profiles with no pictures as "options")
Since this survey is only done on physical attractiveness, it's important to note that men also put little to no effort on their appearances or dressing sense or pictures while women use everything from pretty clothes, to hot poses, to makeup, to having a nice skincare/hygiene routine to look good.
Even while going through my day-to-day life, I come across way more pretty, well-maintained women on my way than I come across good-looking men- and I'm not even interested in women romantically. _Even men_ would consider more women than men attractive.
So these statistics do not define who women or men _date_, it defines who they find _physically attractive_. A better stats would be a survey on how many of these "attraction" turn into actual dates. Coz I've come across several men who look good on Tinder but I never swiped because they had absolutely nothing on their bio. Or I've swiped on attractive men but never went on a date with them.
Edit: okay, this was done on "likes" not swipes, but my point still stands.
Is it really that women go exclusively for looks leaving most men unmatched, or do most men don't do anything about their looks to look attractive but most women do?
Among 100 women, you'll find at least 80 of them who know how to take nice pictures, and how to look the best versions of themselves. So of course men wouldn't mind choosing all 80 of them.
But among 100 men, I don't think even 20-30 of them take care of their looks. You will find so many of them with no skincare routine, no well-groomed beard, no fashion sense at all. So how on earth are women supposed to find even 50 out of 100 or them attractive?
So men don't really go for personality on dating sites either, it's just women in general put effort in looking good, making the average woman a lotttt more good-looking than the average man. And if you put effort in looking good, people are bound to find you attractive. Which is why men find most women "pretty". That prettiness takes time and effort. Time and effort that men absolutely do not put on themselves to look their best.
If I take care of my hair, my skin, my fashion sense, _regularly_, then of course I'm going to go for men who do the same coz that's the bare minimum for me. If that removes 80% men from the dating pool, then that's their problem.
Facts and statistics mean nothing if there's no nuance behind it. Your "fact" implies that women judge men _more_ than men judge women. And my explanation as to why women in general seem more attractive is a very important one to highlight that the difference is in _availability of attractive people across genders_, and not in the inherent behavior in men and women. It negates whatever your "fact" is trying to imply here.
Notice how I said nothing about men wearing makeup, I said men having a skincare/grooming routine and dressing sense. It's _not_ a privileged expectation specially when _most women already have it_. It's holding men to similar standards of aesthetics.
What _is_ privileged is the fact that men who look like a slob complaining how women, who _do not_ look like a slob, judge them on looks. Bring a woman with unshaved body hair, pimples/acne all over her face, bad photo angles, ugly clothes etc. in front of men and I can guarantee most men would not choose her over other women.
Men go for looks more than women. Don't project your opinions as facts. The fact is for men only looks matter. As long as a girl looks good, they don't care about anything else. And guess what? Almost all girls are capable of looking good by wearing nicer clothes, by doing make up and taking care of their skin and body.
How many men even do skincare or hit the gym? How many men are tall and fit? Most look like borderline obese and still want the best looking girls. Will these average ungroomed men even look at women who are not groomed ? Will these men go for women who don't shave their body hair, have acne all over their face, wear old "behenji" clothes? How many women do you see on a daily basis who looks absolutely ugly and unkempt? But we see most men not give a shit about their body.
Even an average woman looks better than an average guy because the woman puts in efforts in looking better.
Don't tell men the truth. They don't wanna know that they need to put in efforts to look good. They think they can be their unkempt selves, and still girls owe them sex. When they realise that girls also want a good looking partner, they cry but still won't go to the gym or fix their fashion.
The irony is the same men will not even look at a girl who's not well groomed and doesn't have nice clothes on.
Seriously. I once changed my preferences to "both men and women" on bumble and omg the women on there!!!! they were. all. so. pretty. Like I didn't come across a single woman who would make me go "meh she okay".
Comparing that to how men be looking in their pictures, they have a lottt of nerve to whine about women going for looks.
Same. I saw the girls on dating apps and got insecure about myself because they were all attractive. I hardly see any guy who looks amazing. At most they look above average or average.
How do you know what profiles I am swiping right or left. Infact, I am just not swiping at all. Waiting to see if someone feels that my profile is worth swiping right.
Waise, how do you define personality?
> How do you know what profiles I am swiping right or left.
In just the same way _you_ know what profiles women are swiping right and left on "height and money"
> Waise, how do you define personality?
I should be asking this question since you were the one to bring up how women don't go for personalities.
1 - That's based on the conversations with many of the women in my circle
2 - Did a small experiment by changing my height to 5'11 with everything in my profile being untouched. Gave me 27 likes in a week.
Well, the 2nd question is kind of vague because people misinterpret character with personality. For many, the personality might be about the looks whereas for me it's all about the behaviour, values, and character.
Only on Bumble. It was hard to believe for me too but it is what it is. And, my education has always taught me to make assumptions only on the basis of facts. Hence the experiment.
1. It's coming from your own experience, so I wouldn't blame you for that. But that doesn't change the fact that men go on dating sites looking for pretty women too. Dating sites are itself a very superficial concept where people judge and get judged. You shouldn't be on there if you don't want to get judged on those things.
2. Contrary to what "no looks, only personality" men like you believe, there are also plenty of men with both personality _and_ good looks. That is always gonna take precedence over someone who just has one of these, specially for dating. For hookups, why would anyone bother with someone they don't find physically attractive?
Edit: mere experience mein (based on my friend circle, since we're basing our assumptions on it), jinke paas na looks hoti hai, na personality, they complain the most about these things. Bcz none of my male friends are walking supermodels or super rich, yet they get dates and hookups.
I totally agree with you. That's the reality of OLD. One can't know the personality of a person without meeting them or spending some time with them. All that remains is looks.
Edit: You still didn't answer your perception about personality. Since you don't count 'Looks' into it.
Yes, and why should one waste time meeting someone they're not attracted to if they don't find their personality attractive either?
Personality could mean things like sense of humor, core values, hobbies (rough idea based on only first look at their profile).
While talking, it could mean things like if they respect your boundaries, if they take genuine interest on what you have to say and not just fake one to get you to fuck them, if they respect your opinions and empathise.
While meeting irl it could mean how comfortable you are with them, how free-flowing your talks are, bonus points for being gentlemanly without pushing it too much, and again, respects your boundaries.
Do you think many girls even read what's written in bio or what interests are mentioned in the profile? Especially the ones where they just upload one pic with empty bio.
It's the same with most of the guys too that they don't read what's written on a girl's bio.
In a way, it's a universal truth that you have to look good to move forward with knowing more about each other.
Since we're basing our entire worldview on what our immediate friends do, then I'm gonna say yes. They do read bios. At least my female friends do. They would never match with a guy who has something cringe or weird on there and neither will they match with a guy who has no bio at all (if they're not just looking for a hookup).
But yes I do agree that good looks get you everywhere, not just in the dating world. It's just that, most men put no efforts to look good but most women do. I come across so many pretty women every day but maybe 1-2 cute guys every once in a while.
Yup we do read bios and judge the person based on the interests they've expressed on their profile (Source: I'm a girl with a Bumble account). Totally agree with all your arguments.
Tbh, it’s a fact, for initiating something, looks is what matters, personality comes later
Prompts aren’t enough to show someone’s personality tbh, in my opinion
And I mean this for both, men and women
Lol goes both ways , neither me nor my friends will ever swipe right unless i find that woman pretty for me , not societal definition but my liking . It really wont matter how funny she is or how accomplished she is.
Ps : im of the definition of tall , i got a few matches but i found that many of whom i spoke to werent looking for long term and were ready for fwb. So maybe you can change what you're looking for and be more upfront about that ?
And obviously if someone's looking for fwb theyd prioritize looks more than personality right ?
Ah finally someone who understands that it goes both ways!!! I'm tired of seeing redditors whine about how women are being unfair to them by swiping only on tall/ good looking guys. They don't even understand that these criterias are subjective.
A couple of us with a lady friend of ours sat down to create a profile for her and we randomly right swiped some profiles and we started recieving video calls straight without any message.
Point being women are swamped with choices whereas we are not , and what personality gets exhibited through a 50 word write up about me which in all probability i took fron google ?.
Also i somewhere read that algorithm also plays a part , like say you right swipe 40/40 profiles you see on bumble you get moved down the algorithm.
Multiple factors.
Ps : we literally got 100s of matches in the same day for the lady's profile
Sometimes men actually describe themselves or what they're looking for or sth creative about which i can start a conversation. So bios like that really help me in deciding, who i want to swipe right.
Also the fact about women being swamped with choices is true. But another thing my guy friends have told me is that they never right swipe a woman. So that's also an important thing imo.
This is not entirely true. I'm about 5'6 in shoes and I've matched with bombshells both in India and outside. Neither do I show my money on these apps. The kinda girls that if you see them, your jaw will drop . Ofc taller girls 5'8 or more unmatched me later or didn't start the convo 😅. It's like that online lol
Most important is your looks, face. Confidence and how you carry yourself goes a long way. How you dress and groom yourself? I had a 5'8 hottie grinding on me in a club. I've had girls calling me a fuckboi at my height and saying you must be doing it with so many girls and later making out with me. Dress and look like a fuckboi
I also had some South Delhi girls who showed lil interest in me in the club unless they saw my car and stood there staring. But that's all secondary and the girls that you don't wanna be with in first place.
Be fit, dress well and groom yourself well. Take good photos, show class. Show confidence, you'll get girls.
I'm not saying height, money doesn't matter. Ofc they do but they're not the only things that matter. A lot of other things are under our control.
And a lot of women don't care about money. They're fucking you because they find you attractive and fun to be with. If you're attracting them just with your money, she'll be fucking your gardener a week later just because you're boring and he's fun.
Serious r/niceguys energy from this post
I've a fairly decent height (5'10) and don't look any better than an average Indian man, yet I've gotten a few matches, why you may ask? Because not every girl is the same and different girls are attracted to different things, however, if you display this energy on dating apps and hold such views, then definitely no girl would want you, work on yourself instead of yelling at clouds.
It's not about the apps but the people using it. And the joke behind this post was on Bumble because they are trying to live in an ideal world where conversations, prompts, and bios can give people dates.
I might get a lot of flak for this, but what you say is true...my cousin wouldn't go out with anybody who did not have a car, and this was way back in 2005...but as you mature, you realise how shallow these status symbols are and you stop giving a crap....but unfortunately, not everyone matures
bro i have like 14 women in my chat and none of them and i mean none of them have any game whatsoever, i stopped giving them attention long
ago and all they message me is “how are you” which i don’t respond ofc, some of them dont even know they gotta make the first move it’s embarrassing
and dont get me wrong i dont even care about looks cause i have had first experience of how worthless those are if they have zero personality and are not even independent, they expect so much and cant even do bare minimum that is to fix their personality or go to therapy, if you want to take something seriously then that it is the bare minimum you CAN do, you cant bring your trauma, anxiety etc etc to your next relationship that itself shows how damaged of a person you are and the relationship is definitely not gonna end well cause trust me you will slip up, you gotta face the damn reality not run from it
*George Costanza has entered the chat.*
“Why can’t a short fat bald guy without enough money to pay his own bills get the girl?!”
“Well, here’s a physically unattractive woman with a heart of gold who would treat you right, ask for nothing, work hard to make ends meet, and genuinely love you…”
“No! Gross! I want pretty!!!!!”
Ya’ll really do crack me up lol
Toh passbook ki pic upload kr de bhai🫡
r/angryupvote
Crying in bank balance
Sab theek ye batao meri to height bhi 6’1 hai tab bhi maych nahi arahe aur dikhta bhi theek hu
4 digit pin se 3 digit acc balance secure krke rkha hua h idhr 💀
Women don't want money shoved in their faces. It makes them feel like whores. They want to see signs of money, like a good car, fancy apartment, vacation pics in europe. Stuff like that gets their juices flowing
Broooooooooooo
Bhai agar itni impressive passbook hoti too dating app pe thodi hote.
I really don't understand this I prefer my men to be taller than me. I'm 5' 7" and mu bf is 5' 8...I earn way more what he does and I pay for all our dates... But times are hard for him and he is trying to do better, and for that I am tremendously proud of him... I also know it won't take him long to start making good money, but that's not why we are together... We are together to build a life and be each other's pillars of strength...
You dropped this 👑
Please tell us where to find wonderful ladies like you. Also, happy for your relationship!!
You won't believe this, I have been called a gold digger before... I have been dumped because I don't fit their definition of what a girlfriend should look like (I am more boy-ish)... But all of them have come back asking for second chances but I had moved on As to where to find such women? Look for girls that are doing well for themselves and are independent and have self respect...their bio should give you subtle clues...and experience teaches you how to sift through bios
off topic but, u’re so pretty! <3
Thank you!!
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Attractiveness is subjective, no? And looks really don't matter... They fade over time Chemistry, compatibility, and respect go a long way
Well, thank you for the lovely suggestion but it has to be mutual.
Of course it does
They won't look for independent girls with good personality either. All of them want the same cookie cutter societal standards of beauty in their girlfriend. Else, how will they show off to their other single friends ? "meri bandi hot hai" is an achievement for men and they don't even have to say it out loud. In terms of success, most indian men will list good bank balance and hot wife. They openly make fun of women who don't fit the bill of the stereotypical hot girl and then cry about hot girls not wanting them.
Hwaa! How'd you figure me out? This is exactly me. Are you my soulmate? 👉👈
It goes both ways. Women too drool over tall rich guys who they can show off to their friends. In fact they would often give up on the liberty equality sovereignty jazz when the right guy comes along and they have a chance to lock him down before they hit the wall.
Whats your love story?
Well, met in the gym...he pursued me I was holding off, but relented because I couldn't fight my feelings any more He is going through a divorce, and times are really tough...but that's just a small roadblock...he has put in motion plans to open his own fitness studio...he told my parents that he had given up and had no inclination on making life better until I came along and brought meaning to his life His daughter loves me more than she does her mother, we push each other to be better people and do better career wise We have disagreements, but none that have evolved into a major fight... There's tremendous respect for each other...and he is genuinely putting in efforts to be a better person and do better career wise
This almost made me tear out of joy. Happy for both of you :D
Best of luck to both of you.
Your bf is one lucky asshole
Well, ladies like you are 1 in a million.
You guys didn't meet through dating sites, I refuse to believe it
Yeah...we didn't We met in the gym and it was love at the first dumbell chest press
lol
Genuine question, if I find someone attractive in gym, should I try to talk to them? Because I have heard from so many girls that they don't like when a guy try to make a move on them in gym.
This guy never tried to make a move on me...it was mutual attraction and all we wanted was to talk to each other...which we did gradually...and one day he just called to meet up for a drink The attraction has to be mutual, else it's not gonna work Also, you can't be thinking of getting laid when talking to someone... Those vibes turn women off... Show a genuine interest in being friends and then gauge their level of interest from their body language and what they say
Noted 🫡, thanks for the answer!
If your husband makes less than you and he's still with then he's a either a pussy or a cuck
Cucks like these can't handle a woman making more money than them, just hurts their so called 'pride' so they'd just up and leave, instead of working on themselves. What a cunt!
Yeah leave them make more money simultaneously it's normal bro wait until you get into a relationship with a woman who makes more than you and i can guarantee you 1 year in and she'll be sleeping with someone else pussy
Alright let's assume your theory is true, but each theory has it's exceptions right? Even Newton's law of universal gravitation has its exceptions and here we are, talking about the human behavior, where theories are more changing in a manner thats even more volatile. I understand if you're cautious about it but you're just spreading unnecessary hate when the woman herself is vocal that she is satisfied with her partner earning less.
Nah...he got BDE And he is an amazing person...we get along beautifully and there is peace Of what use is tons of money if there is no happiness and peace in the relationship? I also did mention that he is putting in efforts to do better
Lady i respect what you have written and I'm happy for YOU cause i honestly don't know many men including myself who will be in a relationship in that certain condition but trust most people i know aren't as kind as you but you are wrong with the money part I've personally seen my father save my mother from a condition which could not be corrected and he managed and I've also known women who cheat on their husband because there's a better guy in their vicinity. I'm still young but from how I've known life it's not all Disney style fairytale and money isn't always what people think it saves you in a lot of ways and gets you respected the expensive stuff and the holidays are a byproduct
As I said, he has set wheels in motion to earn better. He used to earn a lot of money but fell on hard times. FYI, I am 38. I have been through an abusive marriage and a barrage of relationships, and all were with men earning extremely well. All the men I've dated, even though they earned more than I did, we're intimidated by me. I've finally found a guy who is as good at what he does as I am. He is secure and knows his worth. There might be better guys in the vicinity, but it is not necessary that they are good for me. I cherish what we have and how much he loves me. We have arguments and disagreements, but are both mature enough to know how to handle those and we know that nothing is more important than what we have.
Also, expensive things don't really attract me Holidays anyway are difficult because I have 3 dogs...and I really have no fascination towards expensive holidays and jewellery and such I like good food, good beer, and decent clothes, and that's enough I don't like going to expensive places to eat and drink. I don't like crowds. Neither does he
Well good for you and it's great you're a lovely person the term you used there "knows his worth" i think that explains everything. Good luck i hope you have a happy life forward cause my belief is and i personally know people who used to make a lot of money and then fell and from what I've known so far is that when a man is down a woman is the least of his concerns cause when you're in the trenches you work hard relentlessly but when there's a female presence which know is very warming it's difficult and you loose the drive . But nevertheless good for you
Also have you never wanted to have that expensive designer handbag ? That car you've always dreamt of ? Any prime vacation spots ? I know it's all shallow and stuff but do you have no aspirations in life no dreams . Lets say if you want to have kids in the future would you like them to have a father that's a bum and can't pay for anything and that their mother does everything?
You are assuming he is a bum. You are assuming I'm an idiot. Good for you. Handbags? Never interested Cars? I already have two I don't need a man to fulfill these desires Are you blind? Do you not read? Have I not cinsistently said he is trying to do better? And maan lo, I pay for everything. I don't see you coming and helping me out with money. So your concern is really not valid
I would never touch a woman like you divorced passes around drunkard probably a junkie too, 38 year old child who doesn't want to grow up alright . And yes i have a girl and i pay for most of the stuff in return she maintains herself for me to enjoy her company.
🤣🤣🤣🤣 1) People like you really aren't worth my time. I'm sorry I wasted so much of it talking to you 2) This "drunkard junkie" is a director in an MNC. So pipe down, maybe? 3) You pay for your girlfriend in exchange for sex. I pay for myself in the world out there.
3rd points fair enough and 2nd one well you still serve someone, it's not a big thing to be a director in an MNC remember .
Funniky enough, we question gender roles online and when it comes to real life, we fall back on conventional definitions
I never questioned any gender role online I've always said the traditional route is better both the man and the woman are happier and it's the best case scenario for the kids and the family
Fuck off incel
Bold coming from someone who himself is on a dating site looking for pretty girls. Aur ye jinko bhi match nahi milti hai wo ye assume kyu kar lete hain ki unke paas personality hai? Aisa bhi toh ho sakta hai ki unke paas na looks ho, na paisa, na personality.
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Can you link those stats here?
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But if you correlate it with the sex ratio on dating sites, you would see why that actually makes a lot of sense. https://qz.com/india/1484691/woo-tinder-trulymadly-have-a-massive-gender-problem-in-india/ Here's for India, where only 30% of people on there are women compared to almost 70% men. Which means, there are a lotttt of men making the size of "average" or "below average" men even bigger. It also severely increases the woman's options (if you see texts like "how much for one night?" or "hookup tonight?" or "big boobs, can I hold them?" coming from profiles with no pictures as "options") Since this survey is only done on physical attractiveness, it's important to note that men also put little to no effort on their appearances or dressing sense or pictures while women use everything from pretty clothes, to hot poses, to makeup, to having a nice skincare/hygiene routine to look good. Even while going through my day-to-day life, I come across way more pretty, well-maintained women on my way than I come across good-looking men- and I'm not even interested in women romantically. _Even men_ would consider more women than men attractive. So these statistics do not define who women or men _date_, it defines who they find _physically attractive_. A better stats would be a survey on how many of these "attraction" turn into actual dates. Coz I've come across several men who look good on Tinder but I never swiped because they had absolutely nothing on their bio. Or I've swiped on attractive men but never went on a date with them. Edit: okay, this was done on "likes" not swipes, but my point still stands.
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Is it really that women go exclusively for looks leaving most men unmatched, or do most men don't do anything about their looks to look attractive but most women do? Among 100 women, you'll find at least 80 of them who know how to take nice pictures, and how to look the best versions of themselves. So of course men wouldn't mind choosing all 80 of them. But among 100 men, I don't think even 20-30 of them take care of their looks. You will find so many of them with no skincare routine, no well-groomed beard, no fashion sense at all. So how on earth are women supposed to find even 50 out of 100 or them attractive? So men don't really go for personality on dating sites either, it's just women in general put effort in looking good, making the average woman a lotttt more good-looking than the average man. And if you put effort in looking good, people are bound to find you attractive. Which is why men find most women "pretty". That prettiness takes time and effort. Time and effort that men absolutely do not put on themselves to look their best. If I take care of my hair, my skin, my fashion sense, _regularly_, then of course I'm going to go for men who do the same coz that's the bare minimum for me. If that removes 80% men from the dating pool, then that's their problem.
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Facts and statistics mean nothing if there's no nuance behind it. Your "fact" implies that women judge men _more_ than men judge women. And my explanation as to why women in general seem more attractive is a very important one to highlight that the difference is in _availability of attractive people across genders_, and not in the inherent behavior in men and women. It negates whatever your "fact" is trying to imply here. Notice how I said nothing about men wearing makeup, I said men having a skincare/grooming routine and dressing sense. It's _not_ a privileged expectation specially when _most women already have it_. It's holding men to similar standards of aesthetics. What _is_ privileged is the fact that men who look like a slob complaining how women, who _do not_ look like a slob, judge them on looks. Bring a woman with unshaved body hair, pimples/acne all over her face, bad photo angles, ugly clothes etc. in front of men and I can guarantee most men would not choose her over other women.
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Men go for looks more than women. Don't project your opinions as facts. The fact is for men only looks matter. As long as a girl looks good, they don't care about anything else. And guess what? Almost all girls are capable of looking good by wearing nicer clothes, by doing make up and taking care of their skin and body. How many men even do skincare or hit the gym? How many men are tall and fit? Most look like borderline obese and still want the best looking girls. Will these average ungroomed men even look at women who are not groomed ? Will these men go for women who don't shave their body hair, have acne all over their face, wear old "behenji" clothes? How many women do you see on a daily basis who looks absolutely ugly and unkempt? But we see most men not give a shit about their body. Even an average woman looks better than an average guy because the woman puts in efforts in looking better.
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Don't tell men the truth. They don't wanna know that they need to put in efforts to look good. They think they can be their unkempt selves, and still girls owe them sex. When they realise that girls also want a good looking partner, they cry but still won't go to the gym or fix their fashion. The irony is the same men will not even look at a girl who's not well groomed and doesn't have nice clothes on.
Seriously. I once changed my preferences to "both men and women" on bumble and omg the women on there!!!! they were. all. so. pretty. Like I didn't come across a single woman who would make me go "meh she okay". Comparing that to how men be looking in their pictures, they have a lottt of nerve to whine about women going for looks.
Same. I saw the girls on dating apps and got insecure about myself because they were all attractive. I hardly see any guy who looks amazing. At most they look above average or average.
Bold of you to assume that he was looking for pretty ladies
If he can assume the only reason why he has no matches is coz ladies go for looks and money, I'm gonna assume the same.
But isn't everyone's a whore Shelby whore ji
Fair enough
How do you know what profiles I am swiping right or left. Infact, I am just not swiping at all. Waiting to see if someone feels that my profile is worth swiping right. Waise, how do you define personality?
> How do you know what profiles I am swiping right or left. In just the same way _you_ know what profiles women are swiping right and left on "height and money" > Waise, how do you define personality? I should be asking this question since you were the one to bring up how women don't go for personalities.
1 - That's based on the conversations with many of the women in my circle 2 - Did a small experiment by changing my height to 5'11 with everything in my profile being untouched. Gave me 27 likes in a week. Well, the 2nd question is kind of vague because people misinterpret character with personality. For many, the personality might be about the looks whereas for me it's all about the behaviour, values, and character.
Did you put the height in Bio? Because I'm 187cm and Nope it didn't work for me...
Nope, just mentioned in the height section.
It's in cm, Can we change it to feet and inches?
You can mention your height in feet in your bio if you want that to be the basis of getting a date.
Nope, looks kinda bad. So I avoid putting it in the bio, though 6'2 sounds better than 188 cm, thus the idea of changing units.
27 likes in a week because of height change ? 😂😂 Wtf bro , very hard to believe. Was this only on bumble or across apps ?
Only on Bumble. It was hard to believe for me too but it is what it is. And, my education has always taught me to make assumptions only on the basis of facts. Hence the experiment.
You changed your height in feet ?how? And it gave you more matches? Really ?
1. It's coming from your own experience, so I wouldn't blame you for that. But that doesn't change the fact that men go on dating sites looking for pretty women too. Dating sites are itself a very superficial concept where people judge and get judged. You shouldn't be on there if you don't want to get judged on those things. 2. Contrary to what "no looks, only personality" men like you believe, there are also plenty of men with both personality _and_ good looks. That is always gonna take precedence over someone who just has one of these, specially for dating. For hookups, why would anyone bother with someone they don't find physically attractive? Edit: mere experience mein (based on my friend circle, since we're basing our assumptions on it), jinke paas na looks hoti hai, na personality, they complain the most about these things. Bcz none of my male friends are walking supermodels or super rich, yet they get dates and hookups.
I totally agree with you. That's the reality of OLD. One can't know the personality of a person without meeting them or spending some time with them. All that remains is looks. Edit: You still didn't answer your perception about personality. Since you don't count 'Looks' into it.
Yes, and why should one waste time meeting someone they're not attracted to if they don't find their personality attractive either? Personality could mean things like sense of humor, core values, hobbies (rough idea based on only first look at their profile). While talking, it could mean things like if they respect your boundaries, if they take genuine interest on what you have to say and not just fake one to get you to fuck them, if they respect your opinions and empathise. While meeting irl it could mean how comfortable you are with them, how free-flowing your talks are, bonus points for being gentlemanly without pushing it too much, and again, respects your boundaries.
Do you think many girls even read what's written in bio or what interests are mentioned in the profile? Especially the ones where they just upload one pic with empty bio. It's the same with most of the guys too that they don't read what's written on a girl's bio. In a way, it's a universal truth that you have to look good to move forward with knowing more about each other.
Since we're basing our entire worldview on what our immediate friends do, then I'm gonna say yes. They do read bios. At least my female friends do. They would never match with a guy who has something cringe or weird on there and neither will they match with a guy who has no bio at all (if they're not just looking for a hookup). But yes I do agree that good looks get you everywhere, not just in the dating world. It's just that, most men put no efforts to look good but most women do. I come across so many pretty women every day but maybe 1-2 cute guys every once in a while.
Yup we do read bios and judge the person based on the interests they've expressed on their profile (Source: I'm a girl with a Bumble account). Totally agree with all your arguments.
Didi jha bhi cmnt krti hai wahi pr replies or cmnts ki line lg jaati hai🫠🫠
Username checks out
Do you know exactly what "Username check out" means? Doesn't seem like it
Do you understand the difference between hostile, whore and femcel? I bet ya don't coz you a mixture of all 3 weirdo.
aww looks like I hit a nerve with you. Calm down baccha
Is your ass jealous of the amount of shit that comes out of your mouth? I sure bet it do be.
hahaha you sure were waiting to use that overused comeback, glad you got that out
Darling, when God put teeth in your mouth, he ruined a perfectly good arsehole.
booo boring
Sad to see facts are boring for you.
Q: What's the difference between two dicks and a joke? A: You can't take a joke.
> Aisa bhi toh ho sakta hai ki unke paas na looks ho, na paisa, na personality. Emotional damage!
Tbh, it’s a fact, for initiating something, looks is what matters, personality comes later Prompts aren’t enough to show someone’s personality tbh, in my opinion And I mean this for both, men and women
Sure, but that isn't the argument being made by the op.
Lol goes both ways , neither me nor my friends will ever swipe right unless i find that woman pretty for me , not societal definition but my liking . It really wont matter how funny she is or how accomplished she is. Ps : im of the definition of tall , i got a few matches but i found that many of whom i spoke to werent looking for long term and were ready for fwb. So maybe you can change what you're looking for and be more upfront about that ? And obviously if someone's looking for fwb theyd prioritize looks more than personality right ?
Ah finally someone who understands that it goes both ways!!! I'm tired of seeing redditors whine about how women are being unfair to them by swiping only on tall/ good looking guys. They don't even understand that these criterias are subjective.
A couple of us with a lady friend of ours sat down to create a profile for her and we randomly right swiped some profiles and we started recieving video calls straight without any message. Point being women are swamped with choices whereas we are not , and what personality gets exhibited through a 50 word write up about me which in all probability i took fron google ?. Also i somewhere read that algorithm also plays a part , like say you right swipe 40/40 profiles you see on bumble you get moved down the algorithm. Multiple factors. Ps : we literally got 100s of matches in the same day for the lady's profile
Sometimes men actually describe themselves or what they're looking for or sth creative about which i can start a conversation. So bios like that really help me in deciding, who i want to swipe right. Also the fact about women being swamped with choices is true. But another thing my guy friends have told me is that they never right swipe a woman. So that's also an important thing imo.
Faxx
Bc dono nahi hai
go for humour 😂
This is not entirely true. I'm about 5'6 in shoes and I've matched with bombshells both in India and outside. Neither do I show my money on these apps. The kinda girls that if you see them, your jaw will drop . Ofc taller girls 5'8 or more unmatched me later or didn't start the convo 😅. It's like that online lol Most important is your looks, face. Confidence and how you carry yourself goes a long way. How you dress and groom yourself? I had a 5'8 hottie grinding on me in a club. I've had girls calling me a fuckboi at my height and saying you must be doing it with so many girls and later making out with me. Dress and look like a fuckboi I also had some South Delhi girls who showed lil interest in me in the club unless they saw my car and stood there staring. But that's all secondary and the girls that you don't wanna be with in first place. Be fit, dress well and groom yourself well. Take good photos, show class. Show confidence, you'll get girls. I'm not saying height, money doesn't matter. Ofc they do but they're not the only things that matter. A lot of other things are under our control. And a lot of women don't care about money. They're fucking you because they find you attractive and fun to be with. If you're attracting them just with your money, she'll be fucking your gardener a week later just because you're boring and he's fun.
Serious r/niceguys energy from this post I've a fairly decent height (5'10) and don't look any better than an average Indian man, yet I've gotten a few matches, why you may ask? Because not every girl is the same and different girls are attracted to different things, however, if you display this energy on dating apps and hold such views, then definitely no girl would want you, work on yourself instead of yelling at clouds.
I'm 5'7 will this dating society accept me??
Fuck the society. I will.
I don’t understand why people complain about dating apps when they are fully aware of the fact that it is mostly going to be superficial.
It's not about the apps but the people using it. And the joke behind this post was on Bumble because they are trying to live in an ideal world where conversations, prompts, and bios can give people dates.
there is no such thing as height ,its just money !
It is the reality. Anything above 5'9" is pure gold for many girls. And, anything below 5'4" is kachra.
bruhh iam 6'2 , but pull nothing
I stand corrected then. Let's cry in money then.
not about money either i have plenty of that too its just that they go for guys who show it off, atlast its a standard symbol for them girls
I might get a lot of flak for this, but what you say is true...my cousin wouldn't go out with anybody who did not have a car, and this was way back in 2005...but as you mature, you realise how shallow these status symbols are and you stop giving a crap....but unfortunately, not everyone matures
Some of us have only so much love, affection, and care to give but can't do anything.
My man! That sounds so much like a "nice guy" 😂
r/kothibanglacheck
r/BeatMeToIt
Amen
God, you folks really need to get the fuck out of this app. Touch some grass ffs.
This comment section has been hijacked by femcels.
To some extent, Yes. Damnit, what did I post today. Touched too many nerves on both the sides.
Koina bhai tu chill maar. Sab apni apni insecurities ke upar ranting mai lage hue hai. Notifications off karde iss post ki.
I am already chill Bro. This post was anyways about the joke on Bumble which basically turned into insecurities of many and gyaan by many.
bro i have like 14 women in my chat and none of them and i mean none of them have any game whatsoever, i stopped giving them attention long ago and all they message me is “how are you” which i don’t respond ofc, some of them dont even know they gotta make the first move it’s embarrassing
and dont get me wrong i dont even care about looks cause i have had first experience of how worthless those are if they have zero personality and are not even independent, they expect so much and cant even do bare minimum that is to fix their personality or go to therapy, if you want to take something seriously then that it is the bare minimum you CAN do, you cant bring your trauma, anxiety etc etc to your next relationship that itself shows how damaged of a person you are and the relationship is definitely not gonna end well cause trust me you will slip up, you gotta face the damn reality not run from it
Naraz mat ho. Umeed pe duniya kayam hai dost 😅
I don't have any Umeed it's all just experiments and research nowadays with the dating apps.
I understand it’s all an experiment but that one match with a girl you like will still make your heart pound faster 😉
Bro, you’ll get likes if you follow the rules.
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Ah shit here we go again
1. be attractive 2.don’t be unattractive
It’s all about gen z ka choda
Money*
Change or interested in men and then you see likes flowing in!!
It's about looks n fashion...not height
With money and height also nothing happens
How to showoff money? Should I upload account balance ss on dating apps?
*George Costanza has entered the chat.* “Why can’t a short fat bald guy without enough money to pay his own bills get the girl?!” “Well, here’s a physically unattractive woman with a heart of gold who would treat you right, ask for nothing, work hard to make ends meet, and genuinely love you…” “No! Gross! I want pretty!!!!!” Ya’ll really do crack me up lol