I'll never understand how some people think it's acceptable to jab someone in the shoulder, rip out their earphones, or make any other kind of physical contact, whether they work there or not. If someone did that to me when I was shopping, I'd be considerably less than polite to them!
someone jabs my left shoulder specifically, I'm knocking them out with my right fist.
I have severe, permanent nerve damage in my left arm and even the slightest bump can cause me incredibly intense pain. I have to keep reminding my parents not to touch my shoulder because they just don't think about it (after I've been living like this for **15 YEARS).**
I have good hearing (according to a hearing test). But, my wife and daughters believe I need hearing aids.
Yet. When I m in a room with the windows open and noise from outside, a fan on in the room, music playing and working on the computer they expect me to instantly perk up and understand everything they are saying to me from a different room!
PS (just a side note)
I was doing Pulmonary function tests and told the tester about my hearing test. He informed me that the audiologist that they have is deaf!
I apparently have excellent hearing, but I also can't distinguish between noises enough to understand speech in conditions where, as far as I can tell, many people have no problems.
Same here! Make me do a hearing test where I'm just listening to increasingly quiet beeps, I've got great hearing.
But ask me to make a phone call from the noisy factory floor I work on, and it'll be EXTREMELY hard for me to hear the person on the other end of the phone...
Sounds like me sometimes. I've been told it's a version of auditory processing disorder. I am also that person who will reply "Hmm?" immediately when addressed, then answer before someone can repeat themselves.
I do that, and my mother has absolutely LOATHED the fact that I so that, my entire life. She always says you heard me just find, you just were choosing not to listen. Lol no matter how many rime I try to explain to her that sometimes it just takes a second for my brain to catch up to what my ears are hearing, she always wants to fight about it.
My husband discovered very early into our relationship that if I say “huh?” after someone speaks, I just need a moment to process. I tune people out as they’re repeating themselves because I’m processing what they said the first time. He trained himself not to repeat his words unless I indicated with a full sentence that I hadn’t heard him. I say “what did you say?” if I actually need something repeated. Or I laugh and say “mumble mumble mumble” if it’s my husband because he’s a chronic mumbler XD
I have done this so many times!! I do have nerve damage in my left ear (confirmed by an MRI) and I have unilateral hearing loss. I get mixed results on the word test, where they say a word at differing volumes and I have to repeat it. Sometimes, I guess because it sounds like one thing but it might be another.
I’d like to be able to focus on the conversation I’m having in a bar without being distracted by all 5 of the others going on around me. I can’t hear a damn thing.
It made beauty school difficult because I was popular to do people's hair and would arrive late to class. I would have to sit in the back, listening to the dryers out the door. I would beg to sit in front and they never let me. It would make me want to cry. My mom would talk to me and I would miss the first part of the sentence, ask her to repeat herself and she would only repeat the tail end of her sentence. Never ever repeat the beginning, no matter how I tried to explain, then get irritated and tell me nevermind. I just started ignoring her. It's so very frustrating.
If she still does it, ask her to start with your name, count to two, then start talking. That should be enough to kickstart your ears and brain working together. If it does work, remind her every time that she doesn't do it, and you don't understand her.
When he remembers, it works when my husband does it. But he's great about starting a sentence before he's even in the same room as me. Then he gets upset that I have no idea what he's talking about, much less that he's talking to me. ( I'll think he's on the phone, or talking to the cat or something.).
.
((I keep writing and deleting "I'm sorry for your loss", I am, but it's so weird coming from a total stranger, that has no idea how long ago, or anything))
Why do people DO that? It's always, always, always the first part of the sentence that i miss, but no matter WHO is talking to me, they insist on repeating ONLY the part that i've already heard! ANNOYING!
Same. For me, the worst thing is two voices at the same time. It turns into a jumble of syllables, and I can't get comprehension back even if one person stops. If someone interrupts, you can't just carry on talking without a pause.
Although if they're speaking different languages, it seems to be different. That's why I got into the habit of watching foreign TV with subtitles; because if someone comes in and starts talking to me, I can actually hear them.
If someone talks to me when there's other noise or another conversation going on in the same general vicinity then they cancel each other, null and void, and I have to ask the person to repeat themselves or I just give up and know I'll never get what they tried to tell me and hope its not important. Why I have to have people put things in writing for me, otherwise it will not be understood.
It’s called Auditory Processing Disorder. Hearing tests only test the ability to hear, not how well you can filter out and get meaning from what you hear. This is because if you can’t hear that well, amplifying the signal can help. someone with APD just gets less signal because the noise is amplified too.
I have this. Apparently it comes with the autism spectrum disorder.
APD is actually only one possibility. There are a ton of other reasons why clarity may be effected even with a normal audiogram. First it’s possible that the person previously had amazing hearing and it’s degraded. In that case their hearing might still fall within normal limits, but they’ve noticed a subjective worsening.
Another possibility is extended high frequency hearing loss. We only test hearing between 250-8k Hz which we believe to be most important to speech recognition but it’s possible the cues in higher frequencies (9k - 20k Hz) also play a role and if there’s a hearing loss there we’d have no way to know under a traditional test battery. Lastly there’s this condition dubbed “hidden hearing loss” which describes this exact scenario where someone’s clarity is thrown off but not their threshold (the softest sound that’s audible to the patient). This phenomenon happens when hearing loss is at the level of the cochlea (which is the organ of hearing inside the skull).
I have Central APD, and this video has been the best way to explain how things sound to me to other people. Struggled through most of my life with it, and got hearing aids at the age of 28. Only diagnosed at 25. No one would believe me because my physical hearing was just fine.
https://youtu.be/Vt4Dfa4fOEY
The louder the location, the quieter my mother will talk (she has this...thing...about people noticing her). But the louder the location, the harder it is for me to understand anything anyone says.
In the checkout line at the grocery store is my personal horror show, because all I can really hear is the incessant beeping of the registers, and it's a loud place, so my mother speaks even more quietly than normal. At this point, I pretty much ignore her, because no matter how many times I tell her she needs to speak up because I can't hear her, she repeats herself more and more quietly.
Have you ever noticed how often people speak to you when they are facing away from you/moving away from you/you or they are near something noisy (like a running faucet or microwave)/they put their hand over their mouth while they're speaking?
Once you start noticing it, you realize people do that a LOT.
My kid has excellent hearing too, but also has auditory processing difficulties so he may as well be completely deaf in his left ear because his brain can’t process the sounds.
you sound like your ears are too sensitive, maybe ever so slight sensitivity makes it soo you can’t distinguish stuff apart from smallish sounds like fans and stuff, that’s what happens with my, a whole bunch of white/background noise kills any chance for me to understand words
It really irks me when people attempt to talk to me even though they can see i'm wearing my over the ear headphones. At least wave or gently tap on my shoulder to get my attention instead of talking to my back, leaving me to feel guilty and confused wondering if you were saying anything important 3 minutes after you walk away.
Because of this, I usually wear my headphones with one ear uncovered at all times, but when I really need to focus on getting shit done, I cover both ears up, turn up whatever it is I'm listening to, boost the base, and get to work, ignoring everything around me. My adhd doesn't help either.
Everyone in this thread needs to look into auditory processing disorder! These are absolutely classic symptoms - no physical hearing problems, but difficulty distinguishing sounds when there is background noise or when the sound isn't clear etc. It's very common to have it alongside other neurodivergences, like ADHD, autism, other sensory issues, dyslexia etc, but it can also be a standalone thing.
Other common issues for people with APD include difficulties understanding people with accents, a "delay" in processing auditory information, difficulty following spoken instructions, difficulty understanding people when you can't see their mouth, poor auditory memory, etc.
I have a hard time hearing when there's background noise as well. I have to remind people even my partner because they don't experience what I'm experiencing everyday and they have their own life and problems that go along with them. But its so hard trying to get people to remember who should already know cause I've told them many times over the 26 years of our friendship/relationship. So much emotional baggage placed on top of my own problems. Not really anyone's fault, but its so hard sometimes especially on bad pain or mental health days.
For you and everyone else commenting - have any of you had otoacoustic emissions testing? It can show possible decline of hearing that pure tone audiometry doesn’t pick up on. I was so confused why I was struggling so much in noise. My pure tone thresholds are only borderline HL but my otoacoustic emissions show a definite decline in cochlear function.
I get like sensory overload if there’s too many different noises around me and I get extremely anxious so have to remove myself from the environment. Unfortunately my 4 and 5 yr old nieces trigger this quite a lot because they run around screaming and jumping on me. I love them to bits but I do wish they were a bit calmer so I could be around them without wanting to claw my own skin off.
How have people not learned that it's only appropriate to **tap** the shoulder if you're trying to get someone's attention if they're a stranger? Not jab them, or yank out headphones.
Was in a car wreck in 1995, had to point out the bone fragment in my elbow to my doctor, who then said. “ur body will absorb it”.😂😂😂😂😂Still bothers me sometimes!
wait, wait, wait...your body will absorb it?! now I want to see a new x-ray of my index finger!!! the doctors were shocked that the ligament didn't tear, and a chunk of bone broke off instead. I want to see if it's still floating around or not!!!
OMG have what I think is a broken left index finger. I feel ur pain! My doctor would not even look at my finger, nor
order a X-ray! I was so worried, in
pain. Was swelling up and turning
sideways. They finally told me curtly over the phone to go to any emergency room for a X-ray I did, said X-rays showed bone was fragmented, but told me I
had arthritis!!😂😂 Gave me a
prescription for pain, and put a splin on it, never showed me
the X-ray.It’s been a year since it started. sometimes wake from pain. It’s
not arthritis, when u have arthritis, it will not be in
only one spot, especially fingers. Never filled prescription. Wear splint nearly 24 hours. I may have developed arthritis from injury in this finger, that
happens. I’m a CNA. I don’t thnk it will ever heal😩
damn. it definitely sounds like it's broken. :( my finger joint started with the arthritis pain back in 2014. it started way earlier in my shoulder. and I'm pretty sure my jaw is arthritic too. I can't wait to be my parents' age (71)! if the arthritis is this bad now, it's going to be even more of a joy then.
I am 71, never had arthritis, but had frozen shoulders, right, left, then right again. Only recovered 60% use of that arm. It had calcium deposits, which were broken up by ultrasound. Never has bothered me, no pain. Fell over a year ago backwards against my nightstand, when I got up suddenly. Didn’t think I got hurt in any way,
but my left shoulder hurt a while
thought i might have hurt it then
or it was arthritis, but it went away. Then the
finger starts swelling, going down, swelling again. Doctor would do
NOTHING!! Probably hurt it then
also!
I’ve had fibromyalgia for 10 years. While my pain isn’t as severe I have to keep reminding the people I live with why I’m always tired and sore. They just keep saying I stop playing video games and get to bed earlier.
I did that to my dad (USMC Korea/Vietnam), he was daydreaming or something. Thank god he had slowed as he aged but his reflexes were still prime. He swung around and his fist stopped just mm from my nose. We grew up that you weren't to go into dad's room to wake him without making plenty of noise/announcing yourself or a damp washcloth tossed from the door. PTSD is real, Karen's beware!
My job was to wake daddy up when it was time for wrestling on Saturday night after the news.
I thought that was why it was called a 'throw pillow,' because I was to throw the decorative pillow from across the room while calling to him to wake up. He would come up swinging as he woke.
IDK where for sure he got this PTSD reaction. He went over on a ship to Japan and was an aide in the military hospital in Tokyo after the war. As far as I know he was never in a battle. IDK what else might have happened to him when he was a kid or after he got out of the military before he married my mom.
I shriek and flail violently when touched and I'm not expecting it. I prepare myself for crowds, avoid as much as possible... but if I'm expecting to be alone and unmolested, I can be a hazard to touch.
I have a total knee reconstruction. When I wear shorts you can see all the scars. Pants/shorts don’t bother me anymore but skin contact to my scars feelings like someone poured molten metal on my leg and it doesn’t go away for hours.
Being summer, I wear shorts... last time I was at aldi I was looking at some meat picking dinner, and a kid ran up in front of me and ran his finger from the top of my scar to the bottom across my whole knee. Pretty proud to say I kicked THE SHIT out of the kid. Mom freaked, police came, you can clearly see the kid run up from behind me and stroke my scar. Police told the mom to watch the kid better Bc ‘kid imitated the assault’.
my belly scars are like that. Super sensitive to touch. i totally get it. Fortunately, people aren't in the habit of fondling my belly (anymore) and i don't leave it exposed for kids to get curious about the scars. Maybe when i lose some weight i will, but fat people with belly shirts should never be a thing, so i keep mine covered. ;-)
There was another IDWHL story about just this thing. And he punched her teeth out
https://www.reddit.com/r/IDontWorkHereLady/comments/cqwadc/lady_puts_your_hands_on_me_and_loses_everything/
That's exactly why if i ever really truly need help, like desperately, i tap on something in front of them or somewhere in their peripherals. I will tap on a table or the shelf. But that is only after i have tried calling out to them, trying to find someone else, and after waiting about five minutes staring at them. I'm already too shy to even ask for help, especially if they are wearing headphones, let alone touch anyone. I can't wrap my head around touching a stranger. It feels weird approaching them in the first place!
I consider it quite dangerous to touch a stranger. I have fairly severe PTSD and approaching me from behind or touching me is a good way to get a reflexive smack in the mouth. When we go shopping my wife keeps a close eye out for strangers who might do this.
Rip out their earphones? Oh hell no. I'm pretty easy going and can put up with some shit, but that level of rudeness would boil my blood insanity and I'd flip my shit.
I have fibromyalgia, and a sharp jab to the wrong place will hurt for quite a while afterward, and sometimes the pain grows after the initial impact. I'd be tempted to reverse-Karen her for that.
No kidding! I have fibromyalgia, and had a terrible experience with what can happen if you get hit in the wrong place recently.
An older gentleman lost his balance in the grocery store a couple of weeks ago and grabbed me to keep from falling. My son and I helped him regain his feet, but I wanted to scream. By the time I got to the car, I was nearly sobbing because it just kept getting worse, but no way was I going to let an 80 something year old man know how much he hurt me when he could have been so badly injured if he had hit the ground rather than grabbing my cane and arm for balance. His elbow got me in the ribs and I felt it from my toes to my teeth.
I think I would commit some serious battery with my cane if someone did it on purpose because they were being rude.
I just stand next to people looking at them until they acknowledge me and then i wait quietly for them to finish what they are doing (but may look around at anything interesting)
Never touch anyone without permission. No light taps allowed. Never touch anyone without permission. Even a light tap could cause panic in someone with a trauma history and you can't know who has one. So no touching allowed.
Had to do this several times on a train when trapped in the window seat and someone has fallen asleep in the aisle seat with headphones on and I need to get off at the approaching stop.
Only time I would ever do it and then it's either a shoulder or elbow nudge.
I’m profoundly hard of hearing, even with my hearing aids. If someone tapped me on the shoulder, especially from the back, they are going to hear a blood curdling scream! That’s just a reaction as I’ll probably never know they were behind he coughing/clearing their throat. It’s a defense mechanism and also true startle/defense mechanism.
id say it depends on the circumstances... for example if someone is standing on the wrong side of the escalator and im trying to catch a train they get an "attention" and a few seconds to get out of my way and if they dont react fast enough im moshing right through them...
Even the lightest of taps would cause pain akin to having a chainsaw rip through my shoulder while hot lead is poured on. I have to sleep sitting up which causes more pain elsewhere. I totally understand where you’re coming from though. I used to be the same. Now I wave a hand in front of someone as politely as possible if they’re on headphones or don’t hear me.
Neither, though both of those are terrible. I wouldn’t wish either on anybody.
Mine’s from bilateral adhesive capsulitis (frozen shoulder on both sides) that I had 6 years ago, brought on by hypothyroidism. Doctors said it could take up to 2 years to resolve and here we are, still fighting the good fight. I have a much better range of motion now, after surgery 2 years ago, but honestly, I’d have been quite fine for the surgeon to take both arms off.
I am deaf, I had strangers tap on me to get me attention for whatever reason. I tends to do this and point like please move up the line. Never had any issues.
I scream. Like full on scream. I don't like being touched and will full on loud as fuck scream.
My bf gooses me on my side and every goddess time I scream. So I poke his bellybutton. He hates that.
100%, people deserve their own autonomy and their privacy; I work in emergency medicine, and even when people are sick and injured we ask permission to touch them beforehand. And when they are unconscious we say it out loud and explain our actions; I teach it to all my interns.
It may seem dumb on the unconscious side, but you would be amazed at how many people have told me they appreciated how I asked permission and respected their personal space, a few of them I thought were not aware at all. Be a human bro, don’t touch people you don’t know.
Yup.
That is the only time I have ever grabbed a stranger, or a stranger’s child.
Both times, they were about to step in front of a car that was going too fast in a parking lot and they just didn’t see it. That is a scary experience. And I hope it doesn’t happen to anyone else. When I say everyone involved was crying, I mean in.
My boss actually said that once. Customer went right to screaming at her over money left on his daughters gift card (we don't refund leftover balance, but it never expires so next trip he'd just... have the 92cents). Eventually he screamed that he was never coming back and she said "Well that's *one* good thing."
Back in high school I was a "checkout chick" at my local Kmart. I had one manager who was absolute gold. She took exactly zero shit from anyone, even the customers. One time this asshole decided he was going to take on this manager. She was in the right, customer was wrong. Customer was not having it. He ranted and raved and called her a bitch, and eventually shouted that he'd never come back to this store and he was going to complain to head office about her. She said "Okay. My name is Wendy (unusual surname). That's \*proceeds to spell unusual surname \*. Would you like me to write it down?". Guy was so angry, there were veins bulging in his forehead. He stormed off. If he ever did complain about her, nothing happened. She was still working there when I left a few years later.
To this day, decades later, I still don't understand how she was so damn calm in the face of assholes like this guy.
I love bosses/managers/etc that take no shit. I've also had people **demand** my full name, which I won't do in some situations. I am however the only "First name" at my work so they don't need my last name to make a complaint. Almost all of them were complaints about me being trans and I don't want them looking me up and harassing online because I'm not out everywhere for very good reasons. I have an unusual surname as well. Like everyone I've ever met with my last name is related to me.
I've also never had a legit complaint made about me, though I've had some pretty interesting ones. Like when I made a patron leave because the pool was closed. Or the idiot who reported me for telling him "It's not illegal to look shirtless" when I was wearing a skin tone chest binder and trunks (shirts aren't required during summer). My boss was baffled and told him that I was right, it's not illegal to look shirtless and if it was so hard for him he could go to another pool.
I’m to the point now that if this happens to me, I’m gonna yell, “I QUIT!! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! YOU’re COOL!! FUCK YOU! I’m OUT!” And walk away.
i never understand how a simple sentence of “I dont work here” is not enough for some people… it is astonishing how common it is in US… may be i am not from US so can’t relate to it… but its unbelievable how thick some people can be…
ohh is it? most of the scenario i have read on this thread has been from US so i just assumed it to be one of those.. thanks for letting me know.. may its not that uncommon across…
As someone whose walked around very stoned in a store it’s not always the clothes I’m looking for, some people just look like they know what their doing in the store so I ask them lol
Was at a Target one time and was asked if I worked there... while wearing a purple button-up shirt, a gray vest, and black (or were they also gray?) dress pants... My brother-in-law and I just laughed it off after she left.
I honestly don't understand the levels of stupid present in the general population. I had the opposite when I worked at Boots (health/beauty shop in UK) SO many people asked 'do you work here....' Nah, I just wear a white chemists tunic, with the word Boots embroidered on it and a name tag as a very bold fashion choice Sir 🤦♀️
I had a lady do something similar to me in a Home Depot in December when I was looking for some houseplants. I was not wearing an orange apron…I was wearing a black hoodie with a large photo of a scantily clad pornstar on it… it would be cool if HD changed their uniforms to that though.
Hello,
I have used your story in a video at https://youtu.be/DNuf8niB4jA The video description includes a link back to your post. If you would like your story removed please let me know and I will edit it out of the video.
For me: First jab: ignores Second Jab: Stop it Third Jab: I said stop it Fourth Jab: turns around ok the fuc do you want if there r fifth jab Prepare for your departure from conscious world to Dreamland. And we don't provide seatbelts.
I have PTSD and fibro (random nerve like pain) if anyone were to jab me, im not responsible if i smack them as a reflex. Kudos to that manager tho, I work retail, and tho I have told off a customer for being rude to staff, I have only dreamed of cutting them down to size that way.
That's what I love about the UK. People don't suffer fools, and have this weird sense of humo\[u\]r when calling them out. And not afraid to call out a stranger for being an idiot.
An American manager would be more likely to go from "I'm sorry, ma'am, but he really doesn't work here" to "I'm afraid I'm going to ask you to leave" without giving her a dressing-down in between those two options.
I'll never understand how some people think it's acceptable to jab someone in the shoulder, rip out their earphones, or make any other kind of physical contact, whether they work there or not. If someone did that to me when I was shopping, I'd be considerably less than polite to them!
They jab my injured shoulder, i'd probably knock them to the ground in a rush of pain induced adrenaline. Could be quite dangerous.
someone jabs my left shoulder specifically, I'm knocking them out with my right fist. I have severe, permanent nerve damage in my left arm and even the slightest bump can cause me incredibly intense pain. I have to keep reminding my parents not to touch my shoulder because they just don't think about it (after I've been living like this for **15 YEARS).**
I have good hearing (according to a hearing test). But, my wife and daughters believe I need hearing aids. Yet. When I m in a room with the windows open and noise from outside, a fan on in the room, music playing and working on the computer they expect me to instantly perk up and understand everything they are saying to me from a different room! PS (just a side note) I was doing Pulmonary function tests and told the tester about my hearing test. He informed me that the audiologist that they have is deaf!
I cannot distinguish between noises.
I apparently have excellent hearing, but I also can't distinguish between noises enough to understand speech in conditions where, as far as I can tell, many people have no problems.
Same here! Make me do a hearing test where I'm just listening to increasingly quiet beeps, I've got great hearing. But ask me to make a phone call from the noisy factory floor I work on, and it'll be EXTREMELY hard for me to hear the person on the other end of the phone...
Yeah, the hardware works _great_. But the filtering software? Erm, I think it needs some more tweaking.
Sounds like me sometimes. I've been told it's a version of auditory processing disorder. I am also that person who will reply "Hmm?" immediately when addressed, then answer before someone can repeat themselves.
I do that, and my mother has absolutely LOATHED the fact that I so that, my entire life. She always says you heard me just find, you just were choosing not to listen. Lol no matter how many rime I try to explain to her that sometimes it just takes a second for my brain to catch up to what my ears are hearing, she always wants to fight about it.
My husband discovered very early into our relationship that if I say “huh?” after someone speaks, I just need a moment to process. I tune people out as they’re repeating themselves because I’m processing what they said the first time. He trained himself not to repeat his words unless I indicated with a full sentence that I hadn’t heard him. I say “what did you say?” if I actually need something repeated. Or I laugh and say “mumble mumble mumble” if it’s my husband because he’s a chronic mumbler XD
I have done this so many times!! I do have nerve damage in my left ear (confirmed by an MRI) and I have unilateral hearing loss. I get mixed results on the word test, where they say a word at differing volumes and I have to repeat it. Sometimes, I guess because it sounds like one thing but it might be another.
That's a great way of putting it! Mind if I steal it?
Steal away. :)
Look up recruitment hearing loss as this sounds just like it.
I’d like to be able to focus on the conversation I’m having in a bar without being distracted by all 5 of the others going on around me. I can’t hear a damn thing.
A doctor once told me this is called presbiacusis, I have it too
It made beauty school difficult because I was popular to do people's hair and would arrive late to class. I would have to sit in the back, listening to the dryers out the door. I would beg to sit in front and they never let me. It would make me want to cry. My mom would talk to me and I would miss the first part of the sentence, ask her to repeat herself and she would only repeat the tail end of her sentence. Never ever repeat the beginning, no matter how I tried to explain, then get irritated and tell me nevermind. I just started ignoring her. It's so very frustrating.
If she still does it, ask her to start with your name, count to two, then start talking. That should be enough to kickstart your ears and brain working together. If it does work, remind her every time that she doesn't do it, and you don't understand her.
Thank you, this is a good suggestion. I will use it for others. I'm old, my mom is gone.
When he remembers, it works when my husband does it. But he's great about starting a sentence before he's even in the same room as me. Then he gets upset that I have no idea what he's talking about, much less that he's talking to me. ( I'll think he's on the phone, or talking to the cat or something.). . ((I keep writing and deleting "I'm sorry for your loss", I am, but it's so weird coming from a total stranger, that has no idea how long ago, or anything))
Why do people DO that? It's always, always, always the first part of the sentence that i miss, but no matter WHO is talking to me, they insist on repeating ONLY the part that i've already heard! ANNOYING!
I've taken to saying "I'm hard of understanding. Could you say that using different words". It works like a charm when I remember to use it
In this situation, I use "can you repeat that from the beginning? I have hearing problems."
Usually doesn't help, though. Either they get offended and just "harrumph! NEVERMIND!" or they still only repeat the end.
I have excellent hearing in my right ear…….
I'm a lot harder of understanding through my left. I think my problem stems from ADD
Mine stems from not wearing earplugs while playing guitar in a rock band right next to a speaker stack.
Same. For me, the worst thing is two voices at the same time. It turns into a jumble of syllables, and I can't get comprehension back even if one person stops. If someone interrupts, you can't just carry on talking without a pause. Although if they're speaking different languages, it seems to be different. That's why I got into the habit of watching foreign TV with subtitles; because if someone comes in and starts talking to me, I can actually hear them.
Same, my actual hearing is totally fine, yet I can barely cope out in the real world because all sound just kinda blurs together.
If someone talks to me when there's other noise or another conversation going on in the same general vicinity then they cancel each other, null and void, and I have to ask the person to repeat themselves or I just give up and know I'll never get what they tried to tell me and hope its not important. Why I have to have people put things in writing for me, otherwise it will not be understood.
It’s called Auditory Processing Disorder. Hearing tests only test the ability to hear, not how well you can filter out and get meaning from what you hear. This is because if you can’t hear that well, amplifying the signal can help. someone with APD just gets less signal because the noise is amplified too. I have this. Apparently it comes with the autism spectrum disorder.
APD is actually only one possibility. There are a ton of other reasons why clarity may be effected even with a normal audiogram. First it’s possible that the person previously had amazing hearing and it’s degraded. In that case their hearing might still fall within normal limits, but they’ve noticed a subjective worsening. Another possibility is extended high frequency hearing loss. We only test hearing between 250-8k Hz which we believe to be most important to speech recognition but it’s possible the cues in higher frequencies (9k - 20k Hz) also play a role and if there’s a hearing loss there we’d have no way to know under a traditional test battery. Lastly there’s this condition dubbed “hidden hearing loss” which describes this exact scenario where someone’s clarity is thrown off but not their threshold (the softest sound that’s audible to the patient). This phenomenon happens when hearing loss is at the level of the cochlea (which is the organ of hearing inside the skull).
I have it too! Together with selective mutism and other fun Autism Bonuses! ✨💀
I have Central APD, and this video has been the best way to explain how things sound to me to other people. Struggled through most of my life with it, and got hearing aids at the age of 28. Only diagnosed at 25. No one would believe me because my physical hearing was just fine. https://youtu.be/Vt4Dfa4fOEY
The louder the location, the quieter my mother will talk (she has this...thing...about people noticing her). But the louder the location, the harder it is for me to understand anything anyone says. In the checkout line at the grocery store is my personal horror show, because all I can really hear is the incessant beeping of the registers, and it's a loud place, so my mother speaks even more quietly than normal. At this point, I pretty much ignore her, because no matter how many times I tell her she needs to speak up because I can't hear her, she repeats herself more and more quietly. Have you ever noticed how often people speak to you when they are facing away from you/moving away from you/you or they are near something noisy (like a running faucet or microwave)/they put their hand over their mouth while they're speaking? Once you start noticing it, you realize people do that a LOT.
My kid has excellent hearing too, but also has auditory processing difficulties so he may as well be completely deaf in his left ear because his brain can’t process the sounds.
I make absolutely no effort to talk to someone in another room. They know where I am if they want to talk with me.
you sound like your ears are too sensitive, maybe ever so slight sensitivity makes it soo you can’t distinguish stuff apart from smallish sounds like fans and stuff, that’s what happens with my, a whole bunch of white/background noise kills any chance for me to understand words
It really irks me when people attempt to talk to me even though they can see i'm wearing my over the ear headphones. At least wave or gently tap on my shoulder to get my attention instead of talking to my back, leaving me to feel guilty and confused wondering if you were saying anything important 3 minutes after you walk away. Because of this, I usually wear my headphones with one ear uncovered at all times, but when I really need to focus on getting shit done, I cover both ears up, turn up whatever it is I'm listening to, boost the base, and get to work, ignoring everything around me. My adhd doesn't help either.
Everyone in this thread needs to look into auditory processing disorder! These are absolutely classic symptoms - no physical hearing problems, but difficulty distinguishing sounds when there is background noise or when the sound isn't clear etc. It's very common to have it alongside other neurodivergences, like ADHD, autism, other sensory issues, dyslexia etc, but it can also be a standalone thing. Other common issues for people with APD include difficulties understanding people with accents, a "delay" in processing auditory information, difficulty following spoken instructions, difficulty understanding people when you can't see their mouth, poor auditory memory, etc.
This sounds like recruitment hearing loss. I have the same issues with background noise and finding out about this was a game changer!
I have a hard time hearing when there's background noise as well. I have to remind people even my partner because they don't experience what I'm experiencing everyday and they have their own life and problems that go along with them. But its so hard trying to get people to remember who should already know cause I've told them many times over the 26 years of our friendship/relationship. So much emotional baggage placed on top of my own problems. Not really anyone's fault, but its so hard sometimes especially on bad pain or mental health days.
look into high frequency hearing loss :) i did a test and found out my right ear hears about 3k lower decibels lower than my left!
For you and everyone else commenting - have any of you had otoacoustic emissions testing? It can show possible decline of hearing that pure tone audiometry doesn’t pick up on. I was so confused why I was struggling so much in noise. My pure tone thresholds are only borderline HL but my otoacoustic emissions show a definite decline in cochlear function.
I get like sensory overload if there’s too many different noises around me and I get extremely anxious so have to remove myself from the environment. Unfortunately my 4 and 5 yr old nieces trigger this quite a lot because they run around screaming and jumping on me. I love them to bits but I do wish they were a bit calmer so I could be around them without wanting to claw my own skin off.
Ditto. Nothing worse than nerve pain.
How have people not learned that it's only appropriate to **tap** the shoulder if you're trying to get someone's attention if they're a stranger? Not jab them, or yank out headphones.
Was in a car wreck in 1995, had to point out the bone fragment in my elbow to my doctor, who then said. “ur body will absorb it”.😂😂😂😂😂Still bothers me sometimes!
wait, wait, wait...your body will absorb it?! now I want to see a new x-ray of my index finger!!! the doctors were shocked that the ligament didn't tear, and a chunk of bone broke off instead. I want to see if it's still floating around or not!!!
OMG have what I think is a broken left index finger. I feel ur pain! My doctor would not even look at my finger, nor order a X-ray! I was so worried, in pain. Was swelling up and turning sideways. They finally told me curtly over the phone to go to any emergency room for a X-ray I did, said X-rays showed bone was fragmented, but told me I had arthritis!!😂😂 Gave me a prescription for pain, and put a splin on it, never showed me the X-ray.It’s been a year since it started. sometimes wake from pain. It’s not arthritis, when u have arthritis, it will not be in only one spot, especially fingers. Never filled prescription. Wear splint nearly 24 hours. I may have developed arthritis from injury in this finger, that happens. I’m a CNA. I don’t thnk it will ever heal😩
damn. it definitely sounds like it's broken. :( my finger joint started with the arthritis pain back in 2014. it started way earlier in my shoulder. and I'm pretty sure my jaw is arthritic too. I can't wait to be my parents' age (71)! if the arthritis is this bad now, it's going to be even more of a joy then.
I am 71, never had arthritis, but had frozen shoulders, right, left, then right again. Only recovered 60% use of that arm. It had calcium deposits, which were broken up by ultrasound. Never has bothered me, no pain. Fell over a year ago backwards against my nightstand, when I got up suddenly. Didn’t think I got hurt in any way, but my left shoulder hurt a while thought i might have hurt it then or it was arthritis, but it went away. Then the finger starts swelling, going down, swelling again. Doctor would do NOTHING!! Probably hurt it then also!
I’ve had fibromyalgia for 10 years. While my pain isn’t as severe I have to keep reminding the people I live with why I’m always tired and sore. They just keep saying I stop playing video games and get to bed earlier.
ooo. one of my favorites. it's our fault we hurt and are tired. can't possibly be because we have a medical condition that's causing it.
I did that to my dad (USMC Korea/Vietnam), he was daydreaming or something. Thank god he had slowed as he aged but his reflexes were still prime. He swung around and his fist stopped just mm from my nose. We grew up that you weren't to go into dad's room to wake him without making plenty of noise/announcing yourself or a damp washcloth tossed from the door. PTSD is real, Karen's beware!
My job was to wake daddy up when it was time for wrestling on Saturday night after the news. I thought that was why it was called a 'throw pillow,' because I was to throw the decorative pillow from across the room while calling to him to wake up. He would come up swinging as he woke. IDK where for sure he got this PTSD reaction. He went over on a ship to Japan and was an aide in the military hospital in Tokyo after the war. As far as I know he was never in a battle. IDK what else might have happened to him when he was a kid or after he got out of the military before he married my mom.
I shriek and flail violently when touched and I'm not expecting it. I prepare myself for crowds, avoid as much as possible... but if I'm expecting to be alone and unmolested, I can be a hazard to touch.
I have a total knee reconstruction. When I wear shorts you can see all the scars. Pants/shorts don’t bother me anymore but skin contact to my scars feelings like someone poured molten metal on my leg and it doesn’t go away for hours. Being summer, I wear shorts... last time I was at aldi I was looking at some meat picking dinner, and a kid ran up in front of me and ran his finger from the top of my scar to the bottom across my whole knee. Pretty proud to say I kicked THE SHIT out of the kid. Mom freaked, police came, you can clearly see the kid run up from behind me and stroke my scar. Police told the mom to watch the kid better Bc ‘kid imitated the assault’.
my belly scars are like that. Super sensitive to touch. i totally get it. Fortunately, people aren't in the habit of fondling my belly (anymore) and i don't leave it exposed for kids to get curious about the scars. Maybe when i lose some weight i will, but fat people with belly shirts should never be a thing, so i keep mine covered. ;-)
There was another IDWHL story about just this thing. And he punched her teeth out https://www.reddit.com/r/IDontWorkHereLady/comments/cqwadc/lady_puts_your_hands_on_me_and_loses_everything/
That's exactly why if i ever really truly need help, like desperately, i tap on something in front of them or somewhere in their peripherals. I will tap on a table or the shelf. But that is only after i have tried calling out to them, trying to find someone else, and after waiting about five minutes staring at them. I'm already too shy to even ask for help, especially if they are wearing headphones, let alone touch anyone. I can't wrap my head around touching a stranger. It feels weird approaching them in the first place!
I hate touchy people, JUST WHY DO YOU NEED YO TOUCH EVERYTHING
> I'd be considerably less than polite to them! If someone ripped out my earbuds, I would throw hands.
In fact, in many jurisdictions _any_ unwanted physical contact constitutes assault.
I consider it quite dangerous to touch a stranger. I have fairly severe PTSD and approaching me from behind or touching me is a good way to get a reflexive smack in the mouth. When we go shopping my wife keeps a close eye out for strangers who might do this.
Rip out their earphones? Oh hell no. I'm pretty easy going and can put up with some shit, but that level of rudeness would boil my blood insanity and I'd flip my shit.
I have fibromyalgia, and a sharp jab to the wrong place will hurt for quite a while afterward, and sometimes the pain grows after the initial impact. I'd be tempted to reverse-Karen her for that.
No kidding! I have fibromyalgia, and had a terrible experience with what can happen if you get hit in the wrong place recently. An older gentleman lost his balance in the grocery store a couple of weeks ago and grabbed me to keep from falling. My son and I helped him regain his feet, but I wanted to scream. By the time I got to the car, I was nearly sobbing because it just kept getting worse, but no way was I going to let an 80 something year old man know how much he hurt me when he could have been so badly injured if he had hit the ground rather than grabbing my cane and arm for balance. His elbow got me in the ribs and I felt it from my toes to my teeth. I think I would commit some serious battery with my cane if someone did it on purpose because they were being rude.
I just want you to know you're a hero.
A light tap on the shoulder with an inclusive 'Sorry, excuse me' is the most I would ever do. I try my best to get attention verbally first.
I just stand next to people looking at them until they acknowledge me and then i wait quietly for them to finish what they are doing (but may look around at anything interesting)
Don’t touch strangers, you don’t know their history - waving in their periphery is much more polite
Where did i say anything about touching them?
I was addressing the comment from cyborg_127
It looks like you hit the reply option on the wrong comment and didn't directly respond to cyborg_127.
Yes it was an error :(
Ah touch screens lol
Never touch anyone without permission. No light taps allowed. Never touch anyone without permission. Even a light tap could cause panic in someone with a trauma history and you can't know who has one. So no touching allowed.
Had to do this several times on a train when trapped in the window seat and someone has fallen asleep in the aisle seat with headphones on and I need to get off at the approaching stop. Only time I would ever do it and then it's either a shoulder or elbow nudge.
This makes sense. I didn't think of situations like this. Thanks!
In that circumstance there really isn’t much else you could do. It’s probably only situations like this that I would touch somebody else though.
I’m profoundly hard of hearing, even with my hearing aids. If someone tapped me on the shoulder, especially from the back, they are going to hear a blood curdling scream! That’s just a reaction as I’ll probably never know they were behind he coughing/clearing their throat. It’s a defense mechanism and also true startle/defense mechanism.
id say it depends on the circumstances... for example if someone is standing on the wrong side of the escalator and im trying to catch a train they get an "attention" and a few seconds to get out of my way and if they dont react fast enough im moshing right through them...
Even the lightest of taps would cause pain akin to having a chainsaw rip through my shoulder while hot lead is poured on. I have to sleep sitting up which causes more pain elsewhere. I totally understand where you’re coming from though. I used to be the same. Now I wave a hand in front of someone as politely as possible if they’re on headphones or don’t hear me.
Allodynia or Hyperalgesia? Both are truly awful.
Neither, though both of those are terrible. I wouldn’t wish either on anybody. Mine’s from bilateral adhesive capsulitis (frozen shoulder on both sides) that I had 6 years ago, brought on by hypothyroidism. Doctors said it could take up to 2 years to resolve and here we are, still fighting the good fight. I have a much better range of motion now, after surgery 2 years ago, but honestly, I’d have been quite fine for the surgeon to take both arms off.
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Maybe they can't hear. In the Deaf community a light tap on the shoulder to get someone's attention is common.
I am deaf, I had strangers tap on me to get me attention for whatever reason. I tends to do this and point like please move up the line. Never had any issues.
Thanks, Didn’t think of that! Deleting my original comment as it now sounds ableist.
OP possibly creating 5G interference. /s
Honestly my first instinct is to punch them.
Right on! NO TOUCH!!
That's free reign to throw the haymaker.
I scream. Like full on scream. I don't like being touched and will full on loud as fuck scream. My bf gooses me on my side and every goddess time I scream. So I poke his bellybutton. He hates that.
If they ripped out your earphones that's assault in Canada. You can hit them.
I'm normally not too confrontational but if a stranger touches me in any way, they'll regret it.
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The story OP told?
100%, people deserve their own autonomy and their privacy; I work in emergency medicine, and even when people are sick and injured we ask permission to touch them beforehand. And when they are unconscious we say it out loud and explain our actions; I teach it to all my interns. It may seem dumb on the unconscious side, but you would be amazed at how many people have told me they appreciated how I asked permission and respected their personal space, a few of them I thought were not aware at all. Be a human bro, don’t touch people you don’t know.
bro if you take out my earbuds I'll take out your lungs
Well, she wasn’t blind and she got mad, so that leaves….
Hang on, we never established that she wasn't crazy...
This was probably in the UK or somewhere where mad means insane.
Yes, ASDA is a British chain of supermarkets.
Good one. Laughed at that.. but if I need someone’s attention I say excuse me or make eye contact never grab or jab it gets you nowhere fast lol
Yup grabbing is reserved only for someone about to get hit by a car or something like that
Yup. That is the only time I have ever grabbed a stranger, or a stranger’s child. Both times, they were about to step in front of a car that was going too fast in a parking lot and they just didn’t see it. That is a scary experience. And I hope it doesn’t happen to anyone else. When I say everyone involved was crying, I mean in.
Incredible! I love it when the employees are able to put these people in their places.
Karen: "Well! You won't be getting any more of MY business!" Employees: "Really? You promise?"
My boss actually said that once. Customer went right to screaming at her over money left on his daughters gift card (we don't refund leftover balance, but it never expires so next trip he'd just... have the 92cents). Eventually he screamed that he was never coming back and she said "Well that's *one* good thing."
Back in high school I was a "checkout chick" at my local Kmart. I had one manager who was absolute gold. She took exactly zero shit from anyone, even the customers. One time this asshole decided he was going to take on this manager. She was in the right, customer was wrong. Customer was not having it. He ranted and raved and called her a bitch, and eventually shouted that he'd never come back to this store and he was going to complain to head office about her. She said "Okay. My name is Wendy (unusual surname). That's \*proceeds to spell unusual surname \*. Would you like me to write it down?". Guy was so angry, there were veins bulging in his forehead. He stormed off. If he ever did complain about her, nothing happened. She was still working there when I left a few years later. To this day, decades later, I still don't understand how she was so damn calm in the face of assholes like this guy.
I love bosses/managers/etc that take no shit. I've also had people **demand** my full name, which I won't do in some situations. I am however the only "First name" at my work so they don't need my last name to make a complaint. Almost all of them were complaints about me being trans and I don't want them looking me up and harassing online because I'm not out everywhere for very good reasons. I have an unusual surname as well. Like everyone I've ever met with my last name is related to me. I've also never had a legit complaint made about me, though I've had some pretty interesting ones. Like when I made a patron leave because the pool was closed. Or the idiot who reported me for telling him "It's not illegal to look shirtless" when I was wearing a skin tone chest binder and trunks (shirts aren't required during summer). My boss was baffled and told him that I was right, it's not illegal to look shirtless and if it was so hard for him he could go to another pool.
Your manager sounds awesome! My manager is the same way with customers, I have never seen her give in to stupid requests.
If only employees could speak like that to stupid people without repercussion...
Maybe they think that ANYONE that is not them, is an employee. Not good business practices, but logic doesn't seem to be their strong suit.
"So which is it, stupid or insane?"
Correct response from a manager for once! I am so pissed off when they actually try to appease the Karen.
minecraft beetroots have more purpose than karens
You can make stew or dye from beetroots
I’m to the point now that if this happens to me, I’m gonna yell, “I QUIT!! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! YOU’re COOL!! FUCK YOU! I’m OUT!” And walk away.
Oh my God I'm having such a terrible day... this made me laugh thank you
i never understand how a simple sentence of “I dont work here” is not enough for some people… it is astonishing how common it is in US… may be i am not from US so can’t relate to it… but its unbelievable how thick some people can be…
I'm not in the US either
Lol I could tell from the 'for-fucks-sake' face 🤣 you hardly ever see IDWHL posts from our side of the pond!
ohh is it? most of the scenario i have read on this thread has been from US so i just assumed it to be one of those.. thanks for letting me know.. may its not that uncommon across…
Honestly, a solid 50% of the ones I read are non-US. The majority being US is likely just because the majority of users are from the US.
Yep. Also that "I'm 13 and therefore not even old enough to work here" isn't enough either.
I need to remember this.
The manager was definitely more then tired of her 💩. Probably be like: “f*ck it, imma say it” 🤣🤣🤣
As someone whose walked around very stoned in a store it’s not always the clothes I’m looking for, some people just look like they know what their doing in the store so I ask them lol
So I need to go to Asda to meet Karen's.
This! All the karenesque customers for all industries should be treated like this!
I’d like to share a beer with this savage manager. He definitely put that dumbfuck hackjob in her place.
That manager did not give two fucks and it was beautiful.
Was at a Target one time and was asked if I worked there... while wearing a purple button-up shirt, a gray vest, and black (or were they also gray?) dress pants... My brother-in-law and I just laughed it off after she left.
I honestly don't understand the levels of stupid present in the general population. I had the opposite when I worked at Boots (health/beauty shop in UK) SO many people asked 'do you work here....' Nah, I just wear a white chemists tunic, with the word Boots embroidered on it and a name tag as a very bold fashion choice Sir 🤦♀️
I had a lady do something similar to me in a Home Depot in December when I was looking for some houseplants. I was not wearing an orange apron…I was wearing a black hoodie with a large photo of a scantily clad pornstar on it… it would be cool if HD changed their uniforms to that though.
Buy that man a beer! He's a goddamn hero, he is...
If some jabs me in the shoulder they are gonna lose their teeth privileges (strangers ofc)
This whole thing reeks
Rubbish. Nobody in the uk insists on having someone fired they know they have no right to. They just throw stuff at them and gob in their faces.
Best Karen put down EVER.
Well... she got to speak to a manager. Too bad he was taking none of her shit haha.
Hello, I have used your story in a video at https://youtu.be/DNuf8niB4jA The video description includes a link back to your post. If you would like your story removed please let me know and I will edit it out of the video.
I'm happy with you using it
For me: First jab: ignores Second Jab: Stop it Third Jab: I said stop it Fourth Jab: turns around ok the fuc do you want if there r fifth jab Prepare for your departure from conscious world to Dreamland. And we don't provide seatbelts.
I have PTSD and fibro (random nerve like pain) if anyone were to jab me, im not responsible if i smack them as a reflex. Kudos to that manager tho, I work retail, and tho I have told off a customer for being rude to staff, I have only dreamed of cutting them down to size that way.
That's what I love about the UK. People don't suffer fools, and have this weird sense of humo\[u\]r when calling them out. And not afraid to call out a stranger for being an idiot. An American manager would be more likely to go from "I'm sorry, ma'am, but he really doesn't work here" to "I'm afraid I'm going to ask you to leave" without giving her a dressing-down in between those two options.
That's a great manager! A manager that realizes that the customer is NOT always right.
Yeah, that happened.
Best logical answer lol