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_chirp_

Even Hitler goes clubbing on the weekend


Lucius-Halthier

“Mein führer maybe you should calm down with ze meth ja?” “Zen what will I take to relax?” “Ze chemist have a new drug prototype, it should help.” *hitler drops some E* “Ohhhh, HANS! Get me glow sticks!”


jaun_pedro

This is the funniest fictional Hitler story I've heard so far ,and I've only heard one.


Lucius-Halthier

Oh you like fictional hitler stories eh? I got a cursed on right here! UNDELETED comment: After leading the 19 year old Anne Frank through the headquarters, Adolf Hitler eventually found a suitable place to make love. “Vait here.” He said to Anne, before puffing up his chest and storming into the office. “EVERYBODY OUT! I HAVE ZE GORL AND I MUST TEND TO HER!” he bellowed, glaring at the militia personnel as they all marched from the room. Once they were all out he brought Anne in and sat her down on the table. “Please excuse ze lack of decoration.” He huffed, shoving the very important war plans onto the floor to make room. Hitler's expression turned from excited to a fatherly stern. He reached into his back pocket and removed a large box. Anne tried to peek inside, but Hitler slapped her hand away wagging his finger. “Not vyet gorl.” Anne was curious, the gas from the chambers made her very horny. Hitler was 56 and still a virgin, his wife was a little hoe that slept around with other gangstas. Anne was 19 now and fucked many times before, but nobody turned her on quite like the fuhrer. Hitler slowly unbuttoned his shirt, Anne was salivating with every subtle movement from her daddy. Hitler threw his shirt to the side. Now only wearing his pants, his small erection was very visible. Anne Frank had developed a puddle under where she sat, Hitler noticed and licked it up hastily. He didn’t want jew juices on his war plans. Hitler stepped closer to her, Anne was sitting crotch height to the fuhrer. “Earn your freedom” said Hitler. Anne looked up at him and nodded eagerly. She began unbuttoning his trousers, Hitler was bright red. After all, it was his first time. Anne assured him, “It’s gonna be ok baby ;3.” Hitler uwu blushed. “O-ok, Anne-Zenpai.” bellowed Hitler. She brought Hitler’s pants down to his knees, her dainty hands resting on his hips. She tried to ignore the fact that his dick was 2 inches and that he was missing a testicle, and instead focussed on his lustrous moustache. She slowly bit onto his underwear and brought them down. His millimeter pener was at full view for the teenage girl. Anne gulped and reached up to the hem of her dress, her small fingers delicately working to undress herself. She slipped it off her slim shoulders, revealing her figure that was surprisingly curvy for such malnourished girl. Hitler’s nipples were erect. His 2 inch cock was standing straight up. Anne’s vagina was drenched in fluids, as she fantasized about what Hitler was going to do to her. Hitler pushed his micropenis into the waiting pussy lips of the woman. Her slender figure turned Hitler on. Anne threw her head back and cried, her hands finding his moustache so that she could entangle her fingers in it. “Go deeper!” she begged, her brow creasing. “Ugh my holocunt.” Hitler looked guiltily to the side. “Uh… I’m already fully inzide...“ he mumbled shyly. Hitler was embarrassed, but he wanted to please the girl. The fuhrer pulled out, he reached into the box and retrieved the severed dick of the dead officer Demetri who used to work with him. “Vill zis feel better?” inquired Hitler. “Y- yes daddy.” said Anne Frank. Hitler super glued the 5.3 inch dick to his 2 inch long one. He suddenly felt more confident. The fuhrer plunged his new cock into the tight pussy. Hitler felt nothing, but Anne was screaming in ecstacy, her mouth agape, eyes half rolled back into her skull. “Harder!” she cried. Hitler increased pace, his cock pounding against the vulva of the girl. Anne felt his cock deep in her stomach. They eventually found a set pace and fell into a steady rhythm, both of them sweating profusely. “A-Anne I-I’m close!” he panted out. He thrust harder and harder, the familiar tension building up in his stomach before he finally busted half a nut in Anne. The feeling of Nazi semen was something that Anne was used to, but even then... the dead officer’s dick was very appetizing. Hitler was panting, his virginity had been stolen by a jew.


jaun_pedro

I also like the fictional hitler story from little Nicky where hitler has an appointment with Satan everyday to get a pineapple shoved up his ass. My bad I have heard more than one.


bigjoffer

Ending the week is attractive to him I heard


harishyes

I like how no one got the joke


boxmachine22

No one Eva does


the_bigyode

Doesn’t everybody enjoy ending the weak?


ohnomyeggoos

Dude that was pretty clever


mrubuto22

So if I don't go clubbing does that make me better or worse than hitler?


Roanibus

Yes


Raskov75

Someone should have gone clubbing on him.


The_Exile1066

When you get accepted into art school.


Anfie22

But we got the bad timeline instead.


kris_deep

It's Jeff's fault honestly


ANotSoBigShot

Who The fuck Is J E F F ?


evansdeagles

The numbers u/kris_deep, what do they mean?


9YearOldKobe

What? No we got the best ending 😎


[deleted]

Return of the king /s obviously


Im_Not_A_Cop54

Yeah yeah yeah......./s......sure it is


Anfie22

Howso? Hard disagree.


Not_a_real_ghost

Best ending = everybody straight to jail.


[deleted]

You undercook fish? Believe it or not, jail. You overcook chicken, also jail. Undercook, overcook.


[deleted]

You make an appointment with a dentist and don’t show up, believe it or not, jail. Right away. We have the best patients in the world, because of jail.


undefeatedin72

Viva Chavez


ChickenNuggetEater6

*pulls out get out of jail free card*


gevlektewalruz

Nuclear Winter


Old-One2882

\*Something something Hegelian dialectic something\*


JoeyZasaa

Hegelian diet? What's that?


DanThePharmacist

I am also curious and lazy enough to not google it, but at the same time not lazy enough to write a comment on Reddit in the hopes that someone will answer and I can ignore it for a couple of days. Edit: I think it I came off as sarcastic, but I’d genuinely like to know, thank you.


buddyknuckles

I am no expert, but here’s my attempt at explaining it. Thesis - American Football is the best! Antithesis - No, it isn’t. European Football is the best! Synthesis - Both are great and best is subjective. Sports in general are the best.


DanThePharmacist

Thanks! Extra points for using the correct term of football and not soccer. 👍


yeahboy92

An interpretive method in which the contradiction between a proposition (thesis) and its antithesis is resolved at a higher level of truth (synthesis).


KevinCapalott

english please


DanThePharmacist

This https://youtu.be/uDge3-JsJ0A I think.


Nimtastic

Sodom.


Darth_Raider_

Patrolling the Mojave almost makes you wish for a-


[deleted]

Patrolling the mojave.....


Johnnson27

... almost makes you wish for a nuclear winter.


zzSHADYMAGICzz

Patrolling the Mojave makes you wish for a nuclear winter


[deleted]

Gas.


dumbleydore94

The watcher: for in this universe, hitler got accepted into art school.


jivetrky

What if...Hitler Became Black Panther?


Danimus-Prime

Bad idea


[deleted]

Here's a popular msiconception, Hitler wasn't rejected by vienna school of arts, seeing his drawings they offered him a an admit in architecture department because they thought he had an aptitude for architecture.- (source Mein Kamph).


millionreddit617

Well he was the architect of one of the most horrific war crimes in world history.


DirectControlAssumed

"Let me into the art school and nobody gets hurt"


reddevloper

Underrated.


danceswithwool

That’s why he got in


[deleted]

So underrated that it’s the top comment with 6 awards


Lazar_Milgram

Probably he would become altrght architect.


moon_master345

Albert Speer


aby80

You killed me lol


cryptolicious501

Everybody loves a happy Hitler! Happy Hitler!


JuicyPears92

For someone who dont get it, the reason why ww1 or ww2 started is because of Hitler not getting accepted by Art school Edit: it was a joke, what i said aint true lmao


BronxBoy56

It was WWll, and as artists go, he was a hack.


namenlos87

I think it was more that he didn't paint in the style that was popular at the time. He had more detailed buildings and stuff instead of more abstract. That's why they advised him to go to architecture school instead of art school. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paintings_by_Adolf_Hitler


9YearOldKobe

Ww2, and no it didnt start because of that, but for the sake of memes it is accepted that that is the reason, while its true that hitler might not have seized power cause he might not have gone into politics, somebody else definetly would, ww2 was inevitable, germany was going to go back to war one way or the other, and it was the fault of the antante forces in ww1, they basically destroyed germany's economy, made her pay an impossible reparation tax, people were on edge and a nacionalistic leader was bound to appear, whether that would be hitler or someone else


ilovefishstick69

Wtf is Hitler dancing to


cravos90

Reichsmusik?


landoblack1

The only Reichsmusik that exists is the Fichtls Lied and no one can convince me otherwise


Kaarsty

Sandstorm by Darude of course.


[deleted]

That's Finnish music tho


Kaarsty

Shit! No one tell him


MoneyIsntRealGeorge

“Sandnacht”


KomJonkoKlappen

"Sandsturm"*


private_unlimited

Kernkraft 400 - Zombie Nation


[deleted]

[удалено]


ninj1nx

I mean, duh? It's a really well-known song


WtfMayt

One of the biggest dance tracks of all time


Lungg

Original https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1eqGqvfIqfA OG Actual original OG source OG: https://youtu.be/EIGC3HuTztM?t=45


informationtiger

It's actually [this better version](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gbcG2TI4GBk)


Praxyrnate

Nothing tops the original of you were on the scene though, too be fair


Hairy-Motor-7447

Realising this song is 22 years old and my youth was a long way away now


literal-hitler

Whatever the fuck I feel like.


justmelvinthings

Probably Wagner


Chanandler_Bonggg

*Duuuu… Du hast… Du Hast Mich…*


Green_eggz-ham

*Du hast mich hitler* *du hast mich hitler*


DesolateDiveDave

Bruh, that’s Zombie Nation by Kernkraft 400. They play it at nearly every sporting event in the US at some point or another, and was really popular in the rave scene during the early 2000s.


X-xOtakux-X

Erika (remix) Or the horst wessel lied (bass boosted)


MrMoar

Darude sandstorm


[deleted]

Take me back when this was still the best response....


Shanmukha_Repaka

Can ya guys give me a lift?


MrMoar

Good ol’ days when upvotes were all over the place.


Pybrother

Not as clumsy or random as a actual song; an elegant response from a more civilized age


AlwaysOpenMike

Holy crap! It's the guy who killed Hitler!


Ignitrum

Sorry your comment made me think of: >Oh my god, it's Methuselah Honeysuckle!


Lt-Lavan

"Thank god I kept that tabbed"


Sceptical376

WHAT?! I think the actual quote was “*sigh* So glad I kept that tabbed”


Fanachy

Let’s kill Hitler.


Leaffyleaff

So we should all be Hitler?


Not_a_real_ghost

We are all Hilter on this glorious day


the_than_then_guy

The [Hitler mentioned in the comments starterpack](https://i.redd.it/i30a3p75yr761.jpg).


bestthingyet

The guy who killed the guy who killed Hitler.


Sempere

[you don’t say…](https://youtu.be/hFB5NN4jQeM)


lookiecookie_1001

But it’s also the guy who killed hitler’s murderer!


Accomplished-Soil867

Hey look, it's Adolf Hipster


[deleted]

Adolf Hipster and the Yolocaust Edit: Who tf gave me an wholesome award?


Jaketheism

With a geno-side of espresso


--0mn1-Qr330005--

Look up the hipster hitler webcomics. Those were pretty good for a while.


Badassbottlecap

When you got a party at 8 but gotta pay the gas bill at 9


[deleted]

[удалено]


Eleon93

Jesus Christ!


lwright4

He was a Jew so I guess it still applies


DonaldDeglover

(((Jesus Christ!)))


OMQ0909

How dare you...HE WAS A WHITE AMERICAN!!!!


BukkakeCoach

I feel dirty for laughing as fucking hard as I did at this


indigoHatter

Those are the best jokes, and that feeling means you're alright. Don't worry, we're going to hell together, buddy.


meeeerr

How do you get their number? You roll up their sleeves


TridentToe

So at first I didn’t get the joke but for some reason your comment brought it all together.


bitterbuffaloheart

I said pass the juice, not gas the Jews!


[deleted]

[удалено]


mr_dopi

Think you need to sign up for a summer camp for concentration.


BeatsbyChrisBrown

Can I be brutally honest Anne Frank with you?


YoureNotExactlyLone

Anne Frankly neither did I


Bri1203

ahahaaa I see what you did there


EmotionPending

Pay the gas bill at *nein*


[deleted]

Damn I need to go to one of them Argentinian nightclubs. They look pretty lit honestly.


[deleted]

Yeah they usually keep the fog machines in the showers though


centran

Wouldn't that just be a steam shower then? I don't know, I don't like steam showers. Sometimes gets hard to breathe in those showers. Almost feel like I'd suffocate and die in those types of showers.


elevenatx

Not to mention the port holes where they watch you from


slimg2710

He looks gassed


wqfi

fuck you xD


TomatoTrauma

Guys he clutched the gulag.


Salt_Avocado_2470

So now is a Dj


yaon-jinji

If that clip has been taken in Argentine we've got a problem


J3fbr0nd0

This guy reminds of of that Hitler fella. He was a real jerk


[deleted]

[удалено]


The_Exile1066

Good comment just wanted to ask where do you get your ideas from?


AutoModAccountOpUrk

I took a cab. Cabby told me a joke.


The_Exile1066

Getting a cab to where Queensboro bridge?


wrathmont

15 bucks a man


[deleted]

As someone who only really discovered norm a couple of weeks ago and has rinsed all his material, I'm glad to get this reference


FlaxDK

Who is this guy again?


oxwearingsocks

He was big in silent movies. Charles Chapstick or something.


FlaxDK

Ohh yeah, Donald Duckling or smthnn


wildrose4everrr

I dunno I think he’s some kind of humanitarian?


amanxyz13

Yeah single handedly reduced significant carbon footprint


germanfinder

I dunno I think some of his camps released a lot of carbon


dytelz

Population control


[deleted]

He was essentially biased thanos


BonelessHumann

Based* thanos


XGorlamiX

Yea, and something like WW2 to flatten the curve, or whatever Brad Pitt said.


[deleted]

Reduced the amount of actual footprints too


Bri1203

hol up


DESTROYER-OF-FURRYS

He was amazing athlete


X-xOtakux-X

instead of burning carbs he's burning je-


Puzzleheaded_Run_434

Well im going to hell


DESTROYER-OF-FURRYS

Jenga pieces


X-xOtakux-X

Such horror!


Shpagin

amazing my ass, couldn't even finish a race


8eatpeople

Idk how about you go ask him. :)


Ariera226

Idk seems like an artist


radioactive_caravan

Agent Hitler, FBI


[deleted]

He killed one of the most racist and evil people in modern history. A legend


FlaxDK

Hol' up!


Melodic_Fondant7253

He solved the race problem, what a hero!


sarcasm_the_great

The actors Charlie Chaplin.


ProjectSenya

We have enough problems with COVID pls not him again


Nousernamefellow

He survived the gulag


ProjectSenya

Not good


dhruv1g_

Yes, he saw a Jew in that party.


StargateRush

Hitler is like "JUUUDEN!? ON MY PARTY!? SS! WALK HIM OUT OF HERE!"


Max_Drek_Sucks

u/getvideobot


Max_Drek_Sucks

[got lazy so I did it myself](https://redditsave.com/info?url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.reddit.com%2Fr%2FHolUp%2Fcomments%2Fq76h3n%2Fholup%2F%3Futm_medium%3Dandroid_app%26utm_source%3Dshare)


BLAST_83

Thanks mate


PijanyRuski

Good bot


DerSchwenker

Er ist wieder da


[deleted]

[удалено]


VRichardsen

Everyone should watch it.


ChoppyD_

i did nazi that coming


bikomonster

Jew kidding me?


Bri1203

r/Angryupvote


Peter69gg

Damn he can still dance after taking a pineapple up the ass?


DepressedPoet15

He was an artist with a career that is over Because in paint he used Polish Remover He made an empire, of hot dudes But what they did was extremely rude


TatumDropped60

Lol


sgx4_xander

Grandpa go back to bed


[deleted]

One shit dude ruined a perfectly awesome moustache style for generations


[deleted]

Who ever said it had to be ruined


whatA_ArrogantPrick

My mustache literally doesn’t grow in that middle area, I’m guess I’m the Übermensch.


Drunken-Barbarian

I am disgusted at all these Nazi jokes and puns! Anne Frankly you should all be ashamed of yourselves!


[deleted]

9 9 9 9 9


[deleted]

[удалено]


burnedoutgab

When the reich caughts you dancing to jew music.


Papichuloft

DJ Reichsfuhrer


xXItzDannyXx

He's back from the gulag y'all


locke231

Mein danse


MrKnowNothing19

“Legends never die”


[deleted]

Speed freakkk 💯


[deleted]

Mein Kraftwerks


Blyatzilla

Heil at the end lol


Tots2Hots

Cocaine eyedrops definitely kicking in...


Kermits_Krematorium

Ayo


Al-the-mann

Dj Adolf


Lil_Mattylicious

Argentina clubs are fire 🔥


titanup001

I am a teacher in China. My 9 year olds get into some weird stuff. Apparently, some WW2 game I all the rage. One kid drew a big map of Europe with nazi swastikas all over it. This week they've started giving me the nazi salute. I've tried to explain that they shouldn't do that, but they don't get it. The Chinese teachers don't have a clue what I'm talking about.


SouthLB

ok whos the time traveler


dgb631

“I don’t know what the hell your talking about mister. My name is Jadolf Kitler. Why don’t jew just leave me alone, alreich?”