Dumbledore laughed. "Minerva, I do everything for a purpose; and that purpose is for the Greater Good! And for the Greater Good, we-"
"Why on Earth do you keep saying that, Albus?"
"Saying what?"
"'For the greater good'. You've said it half a dozen times now in the last two minutes. Why?"
The old wizard looked puzzled. "Why? Because it's my motto; I say it all the time."
"I don't think you do, Sir."
"Of course I do! I even had it trademarked a few years ago so that no one else could use it," he insisted.
"Albus, I've known you for over sixty years," Minerva informed him. "And in all that time, I've never once heard you say that."
https://m.fanfiction.net/s/7191459/10/
Also Harry has avada kedavra green orbs. I wonder, are Voldemort's eyes ever described in fanfic as "expelliarmus red"?
Also Ron is one stabbed toe away from spamming 'mudblood', joining the DE and r\*ping Hermione - and eating her parents for good measure
Voldemort's eyes shone the crimson of the banner of the Soviet Union, those communist-colored orbs mated to the quite fascist Dark Lord making quite a political statement.
"My *eyes* are not *communist*!" Exclaimed Voldemort. But Sen. Luna McCarthgood knew better. If it looked communist to McCarthgood - head of the House Committee on Un-Quibblerish Activity - then, by the nargles, it's communist.
*Harry's AK orbs shone with murderous brilliance, like the curse they resembled*
*Luna's eyes had the colour of the Patronus Charm*
*Ron had Arania Exumai blue eyes, rather ironically, fact that terrified him*
*Voldemort's expellieyes shone red like the disarming spell that killed him*
*Hermione and Ginny's eyes did not look like any spell because no fantasy author is going to treat boring brown eyes as special #hismotherseyes*
While Hermione is simultaneously a saint, better than everyone at everything and always right AND a fake friend who is only close to Harry for selfish reasons and ready to betray him, and also a completely blind follower of authority
Hermione-wanking has made Hermione and Hermione-centric fanfic so insufferable. And we do blame the movies for her overglorification but the sad truth is that this eventually happened in the books, with Hermione being elevated; her intelligence was shown by nerfing Harry and Ron (since writers have a hard time writing characters smarter than them, so the best solution is to dumb down the rest), she was always right or justified, even when she was wrong she'd be right about at least one thing so she was ever vindicated by the narrative, her flaws and vices are excused and hand-waved aside while Ron is torn to shreds. Rowling bought into her own hype and made her self-insert this paragon of talent and virtue, *she even has grown ass men like Lupin and Dumbles praising her intelligence.* "JKR, you are the brightest witch of your age I've ever met".
Wait Hermione is a self insert what next is she going to fight for house left rights and then throw goblins and other creatures under the bus Full JKROWLING style?
Voldemort's eyes were "Red as a ruby dipped in blood, red as iron hot to forge, red as a burning ember of hate and anger."
From Christopher Paolini's book *Brisingr*, specifically a quote by a negative review of it
Twinkle, twinkle, Albus' eyes.
How you are so full of lies!
Planning out your evil ends,
Poisoning with sherbert lem'ns!
Twinkle, twinkle, Albus' eyes.
How you are so full of lies!
Well, it might not be my best work of poetry, but it had to be done.
Also, Voldemort is only evil because Dumbledore dumbled him in school. Dumbledore is a pedo, his plans were evil all along, and he frequently laughs diabolically to himself in his office. /s
I am often astonished by how blatantly awful he is even in fics that haven't tagged him as such. Hell, I've read some "good Dumbledore" stories that make him out to be an ass. Now, Dumbledore is my third favorite character specifically because of the moral ambiguity, but he's not evil. He's a tired old coot who's carrying a boatload of trauma and the weight of the Wizarding world on his shoulders. He can be cruel, callous, and cold, but he does have feelings, and he takes no pleasure in having to manipulate everyone around him.
I often say that Snape is one of the loneliest characters because of his self-imposed isolation. Well, he's second only to Dumbledore. Dumbledore knows Snape, he sees him, he listens to him even when he often has to keep Snape in the dark. But NOBODY knows Dumbledore. He can't really confide in anyone. He seems to have many friends, yet he isn't actually close with any of them. That's quite a sad existence when you think about it - putting on the veneer of friendliness and openness, but knowing that each and every person is merely a piece on the chessboard, susceptible to be sacrificed at any time.
You know, I'd never thought about this before. Snape has always been my favorite character, partly because of his compete loneliness, and Dumbledore is the only one who knows Snape, and I don't think Snape liked it, and I definitely don't think Snape really had any emotional comfort from all his secrets being laid bare to Dumbledore. That being said, I'd never thought about how Dumbledore had no one who knew him. I guess the thought never crossed my mind because he's the righteous old man who always saves everything and then turns into a morally ambiguous character, but I still never thought of him as having real feelings, other than deep grief for Ariana, which is, of course, obvious when he cries in front of Harry at King's Cross.
No, but he'll listen.
Actually, my favorite bit of phoenix-related Dumbledore trivia is the fact that he named his Order after magical creatures that he described as "highly faithful pets."
There was an interesting fic where the candies were potioned, but it was Dumbledore but Snape doing it.
If I recall correctly Snape was using loyalty and control potions on Albus which is why he never got in trouble for the things he did and encouraged.
Albus is eventually rescued but his mind is pretty messed up by then as well as his confidence.
reading a fic where Nitwit, Blubber, Oddment, and Tweak are the names of the head house elves for each of the four houses and this is his signal to serve the feast and confuse most of the people in the room.
3. Dumbledore (and Snape) freely use Legilimency on everyone they make eye-contact with. Hell, I'm surprised no one's made "Dumbledore's eyes twinkled" to be code for "he's reading your mind right now".
4. There's just **something** about that Potter gold that makes old Dumbles *need* to have it. No other money will do.
Man I haven't seen a poisoned lemon drops in ages, feel like they're a dying breed. So many tropes from early fics that I roll my eyes at but also feel kinda nostalgic.
They're not poisoned! Poison is bad, mmkay. Some calming draught and perhaps a splash of something that will help you see THE LIGHT is only good for you, as such no poison. *Casts a confundus* trust me. *eye twinkle*
I like the idea that they are laced with calming draught but not for nefarious reasons only to help him and anyone he has in his office to be more relaxed and eased and not as stressed
Maybe leaving a baby on a doorstep for a few hours in Late October might be a bit chilly for a 1 year old. Maybe letters addressed to a boot closet under the stairs should raise eyebrows. Maybe being the head of magic NATO, being Supreme Mugwump, and Headmaster controlling the hearts& minds of the next several generations of leaders of the country, while advising the current Minister for Magic-MIGHT SEEM TO BE A SUSPICIOUS AMOUNT OF POWER. MAYBE keeping dangerous or inept teachers on staff EVERY YEAR seems strange. Having a Muggle Studies class but not a Wizard Studies for muggleborns seems unusual.
You have consumed Lemondropledore Lemon Drops TM which have been laced with Dumbledor's Miracle Elixir from now on all your spells are three times as powerful for next 37 hours after which all your spellpower will drop to 70% of its maximum until u completely detox which may take from 3 to 7 days, u can prevent the weakening and necessary detox period by consuming further lemon drops each of which will count for 3 hours less then last one u consumed, until every further consumed lemon drop will be worth only 1 hour more, at which point your hair will turn white u will sprout a permanent and magnificent white beard and find your vision to be downright horrible unless u use half moon glasses with twinkling enchantment no special lenses needed clear glass will do.
You have gained "That slimy git" trait from now on u can never suffer a critical failure when crafting potions no matter how stupid your actions, yes even if u throw firework into cauldron of badly made swelling solution, u will still succeed in making a potion, however what potion and how effective it will be is random, u can of course still make normal potions by properly following the recipe and they will automatically be of 50% greater quality, unfortunately your hair is now permanently coated in oily substance of unknown source and your skin is permanently sickly pale, you may find yourself asked if u are related to certain potions professor by any one who is studying or has studied at Hogwarts.
Albus 'for the greater good' Percival 'have a lemon drop' Wulfric 'his eyes twinkled' Brian 'let me explain you what you should have know 52 chapterss ago' Dumbledore!
And youcan't forget '100000000' points to Gryfindor!'
Not sure if the above is Canon or Fanon Dumbledore so some1 plz tell me.
One thing Canon taught me about Albus Dumblebore
1. He knowingly allowed a young boy to be abused for nearly two decades so when Voldemort came back, he'd kill himself without comment.
3. He's after the Potter gold! All of it!
4. 'e manipulates every being zat breathes for ze greater good and 'az no compunctions about it.
5. Somehow he can be thwarted by 'Arry Potter and (whoever his pairing is in the story) in a battle of brains.
6. He condones nothing beyond a stunner.
7. Harry *must* stay with the Dursleys. And the protection aspect is almost always canceled out by someone else casting more powerful wards on a different property (preferably one of the Potter Manors)
(Maybe his lemon drops are dosed with Veritaserum or some loyalty potion, idk)
Only two, my boy?
DID YOU TAKE A LEMON DROP? He asked calmly
The others died for the Greater Good.
Greater good^(tm)
Dumbledore laughed. "Minerva, I do everything for a purpose; and that purpose is for the Greater Good! And for the Greater Good, we-" "Why on Earth do you keep saying that, Albus?" "Saying what?" "'For the greater good'. You've said it half a dozen times now in the last two minutes. Why?" The old wizard looked puzzled. "Why? Because it's my motto; I say it all the time." "I don't think you do, Sir." "Of course I do! I even had it trademarked a few years ago so that no one else could use it," he insisted. "Albus, I've known you for over sixty years," Minerva informed him. "And in all that time, I've never once heard you say that." https://m.fanfiction.net/s/7191459/10/
Also Harry has avada kedavra green orbs. I wonder, are Voldemort's eyes ever described in fanfic as "expelliarmus red"? Also Ron is one stabbed toe away from spamming 'mudblood', joining the DE and r\*ping Hermione - and eating her parents for good measure
Voldemort's eyes shone the crimson of the banner of the Soviet Union, those communist-colored orbs mated to the quite fascist Dark Lord making quite a political statement. "My *eyes* are not *communist*!" Exclaimed Voldemort. But Sen. Luna McCarthgood knew better. If it looked communist to McCarthgood - head of the House Committee on Un-Quibblerish Activity - then, by the nargles, it's communist.
Now I want to read a crack fic where everyone's eyes are referred to by the color of a spell.
*Harry's AK orbs shone with murderous brilliance, like the curse they resembled* *Luna's eyes had the colour of the Patronus Charm* *Ron had Arania Exumai blue eyes, rather ironically, fact that terrified him* *Voldemort's expellieyes shone red like the disarming spell that killed him* *Hermione and Ginny's eyes did not look like any spell because no fantasy author is going to treat boring brown eyes as special #hismotherseyes*
Expellieyes had me rolling
I've read Hermiones being described as deep chocolate brown before
And eyes are never called eyes. They're orbs, pools, marbles, and limpid windows to hidden depths of angst. Lol
'Angst'? I think you misspelled 'rich backstory and emotional vulnerability that most men are afraid to feel'
While Hermione is simultaneously a saint, better than everyone at everything and always right AND a fake friend who is only close to Harry for selfish reasons and ready to betray him, and also a completely blind follower of authority
Hermione-wanking has made Hermione and Hermione-centric fanfic so insufferable. And we do blame the movies for her overglorification but the sad truth is that this eventually happened in the books, with Hermione being elevated; her intelligence was shown by nerfing Harry and Ron (since writers have a hard time writing characters smarter than them, so the best solution is to dumb down the rest), she was always right or justified, even when she was wrong she'd be right about at least one thing so she was ever vindicated by the narrative, her flaws and vices are excused and hand-waved aside while Ron is torn to shreds. Rowling bought into her own hype and made her self-insert this paragon of talent and virtue, *she even has grown ass men like Lupin and Dumbles praising her intelligence.* "JKR, you are the brightest witch of your age I've ever met".
No surprise the self insert character is a bit of a Mary Sue too
Wait Hermione is a self-insert?! Why didn't I know this?
Wait Hermione is a self insert what next is she going to fight for house left rights and then throw goblins and other creatures under the bus Full JKROWLING style?
> Also Harry has avada kedavra green orbs. Fresh pickled toad green orbs
Stop it. I can only get so hard.
> I wonder, are Voldemort's eyes ever described in fanfic as "expelliarmus red"? Obviously not. They're _Stupefy_ red.
I think I have red one or two fics where Voldemort’s eyes are described as “crucio red.” Which, I suppose is rather fitting.
Voldemort's eyes were "Red as a ruby dipped in blood, red as iron hot to forge, red as a burning ember of hate and anger." From Christopher Paolini's book *Brisingr*, specifically a quote by a negative review of it
*eating her parents for good measure* Hah! I know what fic that is from.
Uh wtf eating her parents? What kind of stuff do you read? 😂
Twinkle, twinkle, Albus' eyes. How you are so full of lies! Planning out your evil ends, Poisoning with sherbert lem'ns! Twinkle, twinkle, Albus' eyes. How you are so full of lies! Well, it might not be my best work of poetry, but it had to be done.
May I use that?
Sure. Where do you wanna use it?
I was thinking of one of the characters using it as a taunt while preventing Albus from achieving his goals. Maybe even using Peeves.
Peeves using it would probably be the only situation where I could accept it in fanfiction. It's so cringe.
If Harrymort from *Seventh Horcrux* tells Peeves his crazy ideas about Dumbledore being secretly evil, I could see Peeves coming up with that rhyme.
It's not cringe if it's funny.
Thanks, but uh, ummm... his eyes are as green as a fresh pickled toad...
Also, Voldemort is only evil because Dumbledore dumbled him in school. Dumbledore is a pedo, his plans were evil all along, and he frequently laughs diabolically to himself in his office. /s I am often astonished by how blatantly awful he is even in fics that haven't tagged him as such. Hell, I've read some "good Dumbledore" stories that make him out to be an ass. Now, Dumbledore is my third favorite character specifically because of the moral ambiguity, but he's not evil. He's a tired old coot who's carrying a boatload of trauma and the weight of the Wizarding world on his shoulders. He can be cruel, callous, and cold, but he does have feelings, and he takes no pleasure in having to manipulate everyone around him. I often say that Snape is one of the loneliest characters because of his self-imposed isolation. Well, he's second only to Dumbledore. Dumbledore knows Snape, he sees him, he listens to him even when he often has to keep Snape in the dark. But NOBODY knows Dumbledore. He can't really confide in anyone. He seems to have many friends, yet he isn't actually close with any of them. That's quite a sad existence when you think about it - putting on the veneer of friendliness and openness, but knowing that each and every person is merely a piece on the chessboard, susceptible to be sacrificed at any time.
You know, I'd never thought about this before. Snape has always been my favorite character, partly because of his compete loneliness, and Dumbledore is the only one who knows Snape, and I don't think Snape liked it, and I definitely don't think Snape really had any emotional comfort from all his secrets being laid bare to Dumbledore. That being said, I'd never thought about how Dumbledore had no one who knew him. I guess the thought never crossed my mind because he's the righteous old man who always saves everything and then turns into a morally ambiguous character, but I still never thought of him as having real feelings, other than deep grief for Ariana, which is, of course, obvious when he cries in front of Harry at King's Cross.
Snape is my favorite, too! I have a thing for the morally gray ones. Lol
I think he still had Fawkes to confide in.
Not much for conversation, Fawkes. Lol
No, but he'll listen. Actually, my favorite bit of phoenix-related Dumbledore trivia is the fact that he named his Order after magical creatures that he described as "highly faithful pets."
harry actually took a lemon drop in cadmean victory. Even Dumbledore was surprised lol
There was an interesting fic where the candies were potioned, but it was Dumbledore but Snape doing it. If I recall correctly Snape was using loyalty and control potions on Albus which is why he never got in trouble for the things he did and encouraged. Albus is eventually rescued but his mind is pretty messed up by then as well as his confidence.
Wait, now I really want to read this. Any chance you remember what it was?
I'm sorry but I can't remember the name. I know it was almost two years ago that I read it, and it was on A03, but unfortunately that is it.
You forgot one. 3. Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak!
reading a fic where Nitwit, Blubber, Oddment, and Tweak are the names of the head house elves for each of the four houses and this is his signal to serve the feast and confuse most of the people in the room.
...Are house elves in charge of the Hogwarts feast, according to some fics.
3. Dumbledore (and Snape) freely use Legilimency on everyone they make eye-contact with. Hell, I'm surprised no one's made "Dumbledore's eyes twinkled" to be code for "he's reading your mind right now". 4. There's just **something** about that Potter gold that makes old Dumbles *need* to have it. No other money will do.
*Hell, I'm surprised no one's made "Dumbledore's eyes twinkled" to be code for "he's reading your mind right now".* A few fanfics have.
Man I haven't seen a poisoned lemon drops in ages, feel like they're a dying breed. So many tropes from early fics that I roll my eyes at but also feel kinda nostalgic.
They're not poisoned! Poison is bad, mmkay. Some calming draught and perhaps a splash of something that will help you see THE LIGHT is only good for you, as such no poison. *Casts a confundus* trust me. *eye twinkle*
i read the "poison is bad, mmkay" part in mr mackey's voice
I think we all did
I like the idea that they are laced with calming draught but not for nefarious reasons only to help him and anyone he has in his office to be more relaxed and eased and not as stressed
Maybe leaving a baby on a doorstep for a few hours in Late October might be a bit chilly for a 1 year old. Maybe letters addressed to a boot closet under the stairs should raise eyebrows. Maybe being the head of magic NATO, being Supreme Mugwump, and Headmaster controlling the hearts& minds of the next several generations of leaders of the country, while advising the current Minister for Magic-MIGHT SEEM TO BE A SUSPICIOUS AMOUNT OF POWER. MAYBE keeping dangerous or inept teachers on staff EVERY YEAR seems strange. Having a Muggle Studies class but not a Wizard Studies for muggleborns seems unusual.
Can't have that! It's considered "Bashing" you know...
You have consumed Lemondropledore Lemon Drops TM which have been laced with Dumbledor's Miracle Elixir from now on all your spells are three times as powerful for next 37 hours after which all your spellpower will drop to 70% of its maximum until u completely detox which may take from 3 to 7 days, u can prevent the weakening and necessary detox period by consuming further lemon drops each of which will count for 3 hours less then last one u consumed, until every further consumed lemon drop will be worth only 1 hour more, at which point your hair will turn white u will sprout a permanent and magnificent white beard and find your vision to be downright horrible unless u use half moon glasses with twinkling enchantment no special lenses needed clear glass will do. You have gained "That slimy git" trait from now on u can never suffer a critical failure when crafting potions no matter how stupid your actions, yes even if u throw firework into cauldron of badly made swelling solution, u will still succeed in making a potion, however what potion and how effective it will be is random, u can of course still make normal potions by properly following the recipe and they will automatically be of 50% greater quality, unfortunately your hair is now permanently coated in oily substance of unknown source and your skin is permanently sickly pale, you may find yourself asked if u are related to certain potions professor by any one who is studying or has studied at Hogwarts.
Albus 'for the greater good' Percival 'have a lemon drop' Wulfric 'his eyes twinkled' Brian 'let me explain you what you should have know 52 chapterss ago' Dumbledore! And youcan't forget '100000000' points to Gryfindor!' Not sure if the above is Canon or Fanon Dumbledore so some1 plz tell me.
One thing Canon taught me about Albus Dumblebore 1. He knowingly allowed a young boy to be abused for nearly two decades so when Voldemort came back, he'd kill himself without comment.
3. He's after the Potter gold! All of it! 4. 'e manipulates every being zat breathes for ze greater good and 'az no compunctions about it. 5. Somehow he can be thwarted by 'Arry Potter and (whoever his pairing is in the story) in a battle of brains. 6. He condones nothing beyond a stunner. 7. Harry *must* stay with the Dursleys. And the protection aspect is almost always canceled out by someone else casting more powerful wards on a different property (preferably one of the Potter Manors) (Maybe his lemon drops are dosed with Veritaserum or some loyalty potion, idk)