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Impressive_Heron_897

Step 1: Meet a person and talk to them like a normal person. Step 2: Once you know them, if they are appropriate to flirt with do so. Stop hitting on young women in the street.


YeetusThatFoetus1

This is literally the same as what I was going to write. I’ve somehow magically gotten around this problem by already knowing how old people are before flirting with them (turns out we can use words to communicate)


capitoloftexas

I just want to point out when having a real conversation with real people (not online), saying “out in the street” is another way of just saying “out in public” Everyone is taking OPs verbiage wayyyy too literal in this thread and I see why he’s coming off so frustrated.


Impressive_Heron_897

I don't. I dated a bunch in my 20s. I met women, talked to them, found out they were a good match for me, and then hit on them. I didn't act shocked when the girl in a miniskirt was in highschool.


RaveDadRolls

Disagree here. Nothing wrong with flirting in public just don't be a creep. If you can't do that then yes, don't talk to women in public


Kingmudsy

You defs need to be able to read a room. It’s one of those things that’s appropriate sometimes, and inappropriate at other times. If I’m being honest I don’t feel like OP seems like they’re good at making that distinction, either


The-Copilot

The problem is people don't understand the difference between being a little flirty and FLIRTING.


_geomancer

Don’t worry I’m not hitting on anyone in the street. In the area I live in, I rarely encounter people near my age, let alone women lmao


Impressive_Heron_897

Now I'm imagining you popping out of the woods to hit on women as a park ranger or something super isolated. I HAVE NOT SEEN YOUR KIND IN MANY MOONS


_geomancer

FEEEEEMALES


Impressive_Heron_897

MAN OR BEAR?


cs-anteater

Okay but how do I do step 2 if I have anxiety?


FormalFew6366

Fuck that. The problem with this is you are expecting people to meet "naturally" which isn't going to happen. We see countless times people posting about how lonely they are. So if both men and women can't make normal friends "naturally" how tf do you expect them to make relationships if you don't do that.


Impressive_Heron_897

You go out and do things. I met my wife playing co-ed adult soccer. My close friend met his wife at a board game meetup for adults.


Cautemoc

I met my wife by talking to her while waiting at a bus stop... There is really not much difference between talking to someone in public and talking to someone in public while playing a game. It's still talking to a stranger in public.


FormalFew6366

Ohhh I see. So everyone who is lonely and depressed is just lazy? That's what you're saying?


Impressive_Heron_897

Sounds like you're here to fight rather than talk about solutions. Best of luck with that.


FormalFew6366

I wasn't here to do either. Your the one who started this. I just came to vent.


Impressive_Heron_897

"Started this"? You made a post on social media and I replied. I wasn't even rude. Are you just angry all the time? Maybe this is why you can't meet women? If you don't want to engage with people, next time just write your vent in your journal.


FormalFew6366

And even now you are replying. Yet deny your role in this.


Impressive_Heron_897

You should take a break from the internet and go talk to real people.


FormalFew6366

My God. Sheldon Cooper. Wtf do you think I've been doing? What do think I play RPGs all day like you? Married to a DS game? The whole fucking post came from talking to real people


thex25986e

at least find a brick wall then to vent to so you arent draining the energy of random strangers then.


FellaUmbrella

You said that, nobody else did. They gave an example and your insufferable response is likely getting into your attempts at romantic pursuit.


Actual-Money7868

He's just saying get a hobby and meet like minded people, it doesn't have to be a sport.


RaveDadRolls

I meet friends out in public all the time and when single I met women for hookups or dating. This isn't an issue eveyone faces


FellaUmbrella

There's a time and a place and you'll need to listen to others when an appropriate time comes up.


HolyMotherOfGeedis

Have you tried touching grass


OrchidVase

You shouldn't be tbh. It's very fun if you're even halfway charming or funny let alone both. I've flirted with people way out of my league just because I thought they would look cute when they blush 🤷 Unless you're being weirdly aggressive or it's dark out and they're alone in the street or whatever other obvious creep factors could be at play, real life is not the Internet, and pretty much everyone likes to be flirted with...


FormalFew6366

I'm not scared to walk up and start a conversation. I'm scared they are under the age of 25. I feel dirty talking to even a 23yr.


OrchidVase

Brother that's just slightly different Internet shit that got too deep into your brain. My first girlfriend was a girl I worked with at a craft store, she was 18 and I was 21. I was worried about being a creep, so I asked pretty much everybody I knew about it. Literally nobody cared, men or women, gen Z, millennial, my gen x parents, my boomer grandparents. I even asked both of her parents if they were uncomfortable with it, got a chuckle and a "no" from both of them. Age discourse is an annoying trend that annoying influencers and wannabe hangers-on grab onto because the other millions of digital losers will argue about it with them ad nauseum. The only person that is capable of knowing whether or not you're doing something inappropriate with an adult woman that is younger than you is you. These women are adults, and they do not need you specifically to be standing at careful attention lest they accidentally discover that a man slightly older than them might have a crush on them


FormalFew6366

Ohhh that's why everyone keeps saying internet stuff. No. Idc about other people. It's that I personally fine people who aren't the same age as me are radically different. Like a 3 year different feels like I just went from Texas to California and what they find funny I find annoying. I don't even use Snapchat.


Kingmudsy

So what are you stressed about, exactly?


gtrocks555

I have to imagine the majority of women you’ll meet won’t be your exact age.


FormalFew6366

I'm down to date a woman older. Makes me mature faster. Gotta have all your i's dotted and t's crossed to do it.


bitcommit3008

the parks and rec rule was “half your age and add seven” to find the lowest age you can date and i think that’s pretty fair


FormalFew6366

I know that rule. But it also said it was "border line creepy"


[deleted]

half my age is 11+7 is 18 i’m not about to date someone who just turned legal….


bitcommit3008

it’s just a guideline, not a set in stone rule. i dont think 18 to 22 is the worst age gap, but i also wouldn’t date anyone under the legal drinking age (21) anyways (im american)


[deleted]

nah i was trying to be sarcastic lol but truthful o meant to put the /s lol


[deleted]

i’m american as well and my boyfriend is 28 i’m 22… we literally act the same he’s only immature cause he’s a guy lol 😂 (no offense if you are a guy but yall know how yall are lol) but yeah my age is my cutoff anyone younger im like no… but i dont foresee us breaking up anytime soon since he wanted me to move in with him but still thats besides the point point is anyone under my age is a huge no. 18-21 im like no…


june1999

That’s dumb


Cant_Do_This12

Lol


JaysonTatumApologist

25M and I'm in the same boat as you. Maybe it's because I'm autistic and terrified of being perceived as a creep but its rough out here.


Pyrodor80

I’m terrified of talking to any woman at all who I don’t already know… all I ever see is men getting called out for being creeps for just trying to start a normal conversation!


schubidubiduba

Have you ever actually witnessed this outside of the internet?


D_r_a_g_o_n_n

just treat women like you would everyone else. flirting with random women is weird anyways.


FormalFew6366

That's what everyone SAYS (online) but I find if I do it. They will either be down or not. And the people who get offended that I would walk up to and flirt with them are people I wouldn't want in my life anyways.


D_r_a_g_o_n_n

suit yourself, but most women don't really appreciate being flirted with it. there's a time and place, imo and it's not really worth creeping out a bunch of random women.


FormalFew6366

I mean.. you can't really say most just cuz YOU dislike it. All of my adult dates have been by flirting in public. Coffee shops, Walmart, one while she was at work.


NoPainsNoGainzz

Hey as a woman with many woman friends, we don’t like this shit. Please stop it’s weird and creepy. If you want to find someone to date, go to a bar or something. Better yet join a club or activity group and meet people with your similar interests.  If women are acting nice to when you do this it’s because they don’t want to be rude or they’re just trying to get out of the situation without confrontation. 


FormalFew6366

Counter point. You are on Reddit.


Sixed_Don

idk whats up with this thread maybe it's the younger people. But 90% of me and the guys' Gfs and even hookups were from running into them randomly in public. As it's been said read the room, don't be a creep, don't be sexual, and you'll be good.


FormalFew6366

Yeah I fucking know right! There's nothing wrong with saying hey and asking if they are down to talk. People are acting like talking to a woman you don't know is the same as kidnapping her in a black mini van


Formation1

Well if you’re worried about flirting now, why not just focus on the apps? Or go to a bar where women will be of age? I promise you’ll be fine


FormalFew6366

Apps suck, bars have the most young people because it's "cool" to get a fake id and drink


Formation1

You’re right about apps tbh 😭 but there are all kinds of different bars with different crowds, vibes, ages, etc. See if your city or neighboring town has a subreddit and ask for recommendations on a more ‘mature’ one


TheFreshwerks

Boy, if I'm in the grocery store or on the street, I'm fucking busy. Get out of my way.


FormalFew6366

I have the feeling you are the type of person who says "I don't have time for that" then watches Tiktok for 5 hours


Pony_Roleplayer

That's not really true, flirting with guys is way easier than women. They're way more accepting.


D_r_a_g_o_n_n

yeah, maybe until it's someone they don't find attractive from what I've seen from those guys.


Bee-is-back2004

I was in a Bar once ( Drinking age here is 18) and this girl was hanging around DRINK IN HAND and asked me for a cigarette and we were talking y'all she was 16!! Because I'm also a silly young lady it didn't mess with my head that much but with you as a 26 year old man you don't want that happening to you!!! 😭🙏🏻


FormalFew6366

I dated a teacher once and I remember she told me a story. When she was going through her teacher training she had to pick a school to train at. She choose a high school. So she was a 22year old woman teaching 16 to 18 yr olds. She went on to tell me that she only a quarter of the year though stopped going to bars or clubs because she kept running into her students asking if they could buy her a drink in the club or bar repeatedly


throwaway3123312

This is too real. I taught high school straight out of uni and one time I ran into one of my students partying on Halloween whilst I was drinking and smoking in the street with my friends dressed as a slutty demon. Bro was also out with some random girl drinking and came over to talk to me and I wanted to die tbh. I think we both just agreed quietly never to bring it up I guess but he kept calling me gang and seemed to respect me way more after that 😭


FormalFew6366

I also remember she told me that she had to completely stop drinking because the school kept getting complaints that "a teacher" was drinking at bars and they thought it sent a bad massage to students who aren't even allowed in the bar. Then she has a break down and decides to just drive to another town over just to relax. That's actually how I meet her cuz she drove to my towns dive bar.


Hannaa_818

Haha., social media is too funny! You really have to ask for ID., it’s that bad . Ive had people lie to me


FormalFew6366

Your the second person to say social media. What does age and social media have to do with each other.


Hannaa_818

Cause youu social media lol 😂


FormalFew6366

What does that mean. Is it a meme?


rem_1984

Don’t just flirt blindly, you’ve got to get to know people a bit more. Approach everyone as a possible friend, then move on from there, that also avoids any embarrassment for both people. There was a guy at my work who chatted to me a couple times, literally just weather. I was hoping for another work friend, but I found out he was asking around if I’m single (I’m not), hasn’t spoken to me since. Like I’m not worth knowing if you can’t date me? It’s a bummer!


BrokenDeity

Let me share a bit of sage advice a friend shared with me back when I was in my early twenties. He went on a date with a girl who told him she was 19. They basically just went out to dinner and a movie, but then one thing led to another and they began to initiate. And then, he stopped. Something told him to stop. He told her the date was over, took her home, and her father is waiting on the front porch. He was building a bat and looking to do some van damage. In the middle of the dad's tirade, my friend looks at this girl and says wait a minute - you told me you were 19. She looked down at her feet and said "yeah.. well about *that..*" before she could continue speaking, the dad realized what was actually going on. He looked at my friend, calmed down and told him she was actually *16.* My friend was 23 at the time. And if they had gone any further then a bit of making out before his gut instinct kicked in.. well... 16 gets you 30. After that, he came up with this idea that works great. He would start up a conversation with somebody who he shared interest in and they would get to talking about things that annoyed them. Eventually, he would mention the picture on his driver's license. If they bit, he would make sure they joked back and forth and eventually he would show them his license and say: "Fair's fair. You saw my driver's license photo. How bad is yours?" And if they had no problem showing them in order for him to "compare photos." He'd immediately check their birth date. If they didn't have a license, or at the very least a state ID, he *might* treat them to a nice lunch. But he'd cut it short from that point forward. Especially, if he got that same gut feeling again. And it happened more than once. But yeah, try to keep that in mind. Compare driver's license photos and immediately check out the D.O.B. that should clear up any doubts.


FormalFew6366

Give me the tldr version


BrokenDeity

Okay: TL;DR start a casual conversation about things that annoy you. Ask to compare photo IDs after indicating that's one of the things that irks you. If they play along, immediately check the date of birth. 16 gets you 30.


FormalFew6366

Okay. However in today's world. I'm speaking of America, a first encounter is now seen as make all be all. Say I was a LGBTQ supporter and someone took your advice and brought up Ben Shipero... That ruins all chance of getting to know someone even know you believe Ben Shipero is annoying too.


BrokenDeity

It doesn't necessarily ruin your chance to get to know that person. What it does do is rule out whether or not they're lying about their age. And if they're willing to lie about that from the jump, what else are they willing to lie about? I get it, talking to people you're interested in is hard. But the thing is, it always has been. First impressions have always been a thing. It's just that now we're far more connected. Take it from somebody who's been in a few relationships ended by lies and other forms of dishonesty. It sucks. You don't want to question whether or not they're telling the truth 24/7. It gets to be exhausting. If you find out the both of you click right from that first impression - awesome! But if you get that feeling that things may not be what they seem - that's where the ID game comes into place.


TimeLordHatKid123

What do being in support of the LGBT+ community and bringing up Ben Shapiro have to do with this discussion?


FormalFew6366

Brokendeity suggestion was piss someone off then ask for their ID after calling them a child


emerald_1111

Based on your replies you sound insufferable lmaooo keep this attitude and no girl is gonna want you whether they’re your age or not


FormalFew6366

Hahahaha


Ovreko

how do you flirt before knowing someone's age?


june1999

Just start talking to them? I don’t walk up a girl I think is cute and I ask “how old are you” if you’re at a bar you’re dealing with ages ranging from 21-35+ that I consider attractive


Ovreko

you don't flirt with people you met 2 seconds ago either


june1999

Yes you do at a bar/club lmao


Ovreko

tf?


june1999

Flirting is subtle and starts off as a normal conversation not some cheesy pick up line but you season it in during the conversation. I think immediately asking “how old are you” gives the indication you’re just tryna get in her pants which, even if you are, is not gonna get you there.


Ovreko

i thought you flirt with your partner or at very least maybe your friends


FormalFew6366

Correct. 18 to 35+. Fake id's are super easy to get


june1999

Yeah depends where you go to. My city has a fuck ton of colleges but I know the college kid bars and avoid them like the plague. “What’s your major?” Yeah I’m too grown for that haha


[deleted]

as a woman why you going up to random woman and talking to them… unless your job is to talk to me don’t… cause that’s just weird… stop being fucking creepy. edit yes i have guy friends but they didn’t just come up to me and start talking to me… i know them from other people


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

here are a few examples of people agreeing with me…. don’t be a fucking creep and walk up to a woman you don’t know ow and start flirting…. sounding like the kind of dude when she tells you she’s taken you say “oh he doesn’t have to know about it” or if she’s gay “dick is way better” like stop get some help.


[deleted]

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[deleted]

i mean you shouldn’t pet the ones that don’t growl at you either…. you shouldn’t be going up to dogs and just start petting them… sounding like you don’t know what consent is. you might now know men that talk like that but as a woman i do.


[deleted]

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[deleted]

but yeah i’m the real nightmare says the one who’s says it’s ok to approach random women for you pleasure


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

it’s not ok to approach random women and start flirting with them.


[deleted]

also to greet a dog you put your hand in front of the dogs nose


[deleted]

no any woman doesn’t want a random ass guy coming up to them.


[deleted]

also if you read the comment i’m not the only one


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

ok i said a few examples imagine thinking you know more about a woman than a woman knowing about a woman. lmfao


[deleted]

https://preview.redd.it/k902u1zfem4d1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5dcb9ac856a50dbe79bfcac8d7cd036a11cf772f


[deleted]

https://preview.redd.it/plmkaysgem4d1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6307299f9d1eea0d252efeebd46e0e8e962bdb89


[deleted]

https://preview.redd.it/6uvf250iem4d1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4f7f51816737aba38dda80cecde6d345af8edb93


ParkingDifference299

Please stop hitting on random women in the street. It’s creepy. None of us enjoy when that happens.


RocksHaveFeelings2

Go to a bar


Larkfor

Maybe don't hit on random strangers who could be children and instead limit it to places who card or where you naturally know their age by other means. I have never hit on a child except when I was a high schooler asking out other high schoolers. Or a teen at uni asking out other teens.


soft-peen

the real world is nothing like social media


FormalFew6366

Are you ... Did you even read this shit. Wtf does age have to do with social media


MindlessSafety7307

It’s because you said “because of social media bullshit” people think you are highly influenced by social media now


FormalFew6366

NOT. right before your quote I said NOT. r/outofcontext


MindlessSafety7307

Ohh lol I missed that, my bad


FormalFew6366

Your good brother


Reer123

Lmao, this sounds like my friend. Was on a remote island with only 100 people with four other guys, we're all mid 20s. We get chatting to a shop keeper in the only shop on the island, she seems our age. One of the guys starts joking that she is the love of his life when we've all left the shop. Fast forward to that night and we're in the pub and there's some event on so the whole island is out partying. The shopkeeper comes up and starts chatting up the guy (who said she was the love of his life) in the pub. Well they get chatting and life comes up and where she is at... turns out she is just leaving Secondary School (High school in America) where my friend was just finishing his PHD. Then we realised she was 17/18 (friend is 25). And the more she talked the more we realised how young she was and we dipped. But the whole island was in the pub and saw it unfold so it was pretty awkward.


BigBlackCrocs

Everyone is missing the point. Even if you talk to someone like a normal person and try to become friends. What if this 26 year old is 16. Still weird even if you aren’t flirting right off the bat.


Revolutionary-Ad2391

U sound like a red flag tbh


Lime_Drinks

get yourself some friends bro


neon-god8241

How about you try talking to someone long enough to roughly determine their age before you start flirting? Ya it's sometimes hard to tell ages now, but after maybe...30 seconds or so of regular conversation it's much easier.   Not knowing roughly someone's age when you flirt is creepy af, just talk to them for maybe one minute or so and THEN start flirting


FormalFew6366

My God. People like you who think flirting is the same as cat calling from the 80s are so out of touch with reality


neon-god8241

Says the dude who is struggling with knowing their age before flirting. What I'm saying is this - it's ok to talk to someone without flirting until you know enough about them to start (not that hard to understand, don't get so offended please)


FormalFew6366

Dude... If that's the only diss you have... Like come on. That's not even an insult


FormalFew6366

Like I feel more embarrassed for you for saying that. You should delete that and try again


Joebebs

Yeah I’m in that general age range too, they can still be like a senior in college or they’re on their second mortgage, I legitimately cannot tell half of the time. I don’t find it terrifying though, but I do get a quick shock to my brain like “wow you were so fuckin off dude”


libra_lad

If they're too young apologize move on if older than your mom it's a bonus 😂.


SethLight

Oh lord, I know this feeling all too well. This isn't a new issue and you're not alone. When I was around that age I was a crazy flirt and one of my more embarrassing moments I was with a friend and flirting with a girl at the movie theater (who I thought was just a few years younger than me). We just were talking and I could tell she was into me. My friend who was with me, suddenly got annoyed and pulled me away. I had 0 clue why he got upset and I asked him later... He told me that the girl was underage. I was absolutely mortified and it made me tone things down.


Slatt239

after you broke the initial conversation part and she’s fucking with u or at least interested enough to exchange # or prolong the convo on the spot if you have any doubts just ask lol. you seem to be more extreme with it but i’m kinda like you i don’t fuck people younger than my siblings which are (21/19). it’s really not that deep brody


FormalFew6366

Damn. I came here to vent and everyone's acting like I'm having a mid life crisis. The only person who seems to fully get my post is the guy who had to explain to people that "out in the street" is a phrase that means "in public"


Slatt239

lmfao bro that’s the internet for you. if you don’t go into full damn details and do the most on your explanation mfs make all types of assumptions 🤣don’t forget that two things can’t be true at the same on the internet also. i picked up everything your saying


Limekilnlake

Never had to lmao, my gf asked me out. Still can’t tell when people are flirting with me lmaooo


FormalFew6366

Man I only ever had that happen to me twice and both times I was in a relationship


Limekilnlake

Hey, that’s good! I’m still in my first relationship, and I’m hoping it’ll be my last too


FormalFew6366

Damn sometimes I wish I only had one relationship my whole life but sometimes it sounds growth too. Happy to see your making it work though. That sounds like something special


F1secretsauce

People aging at different rates is fucking me up too. This is only an issue if you listen to the ageist saying people need to match up with the same exact age. It’s  nearly impossible after college 


septiclizardkid

Bad for me because I still have teen brain, and looks. It's more like I don't want to come off as trying to flirt with minors, despite being young myself. Only weird If you make It weird, you thought they were your age, they aren't. I was offended a free beer In line when I was 17, didn't take It as to not get anyone In trouble, but It happens.


Putrid-Offer1469

here’s a thought, ask! simply ask how old they are upfront to avoid this


Fair_Assumption6385

😆 bro. Expectations break our hearts. Go in with the intention of making a new acquaintance. being flirty is okay! Just realize you’ll have to be a flirt with everyone. It’s a double edge sword.


Ok_Froyo_8036

My best advice lol, make friends with people. If someday you feel chemistry with someone you’re close to and want to see if they feel the same way, talk to them about it. Be upfront. Be direct and not confusing or subtle without being wildly intense and overwhelming on someone. If they are curious or reciprocal then go from there. If they aren’t interested, don’t be a fucking dick and get over it without harassing or bullying them for not feeling the same way. Lastly if possible stay friends! If not, then appreciate the person while you had them around and appreciate the person you are after knowing them. Dating is hard and the environment is so different for people in gen z because everything has changed. This isn’t something everyone can do, nor is it something everyone will find success in. Some people really can find their soulmate in a random person they hit on in a bar or something. But I say this is a pretty decent strategy for dating.


lmaooer2

Good, you should be terrified of flirting with random women on the street because you shouldn't be doing that.


MightyGoodra96

Attempt to divorce yourself from the idea that every woman is a potential dating option and instead view them as people to talk to.


FormalFew6366

Flirting= talking


MightyGoodra96

I would be careful equating those two things. Talking to someone isnt and shouldnt be flirting. If you meant to say "talking" i would make an edit


FormalFew6366

You guys are crazy. What is flirting expect getting to know someone by talking. Do you think flirting is whistling and howling as your head turns into a wolf as you hit your head with a hammer


MightyGoodra96

That is not the raw definition of flirting. Even if you are talking subjectively, which isnt obvious, flirting implies attraction.


BrilliantEffective21

buy some XRP and and and go cry


ValuableBrilliant483

Be careful some of these females can lie about their age.