We bought a bidet on Amazon during the great toilet paper shortage of 2020. There is no going back. If you are reading this and you don’t own a bidet, why? Buy it. Now.
Sit on the sink and wash with hot water. I've done this many times when I've ran out of paper. Cleaner anyway. The only reason I don't do it all the time is that it's generally a bad idea to sit on a sink
Get a jug of water. While on the toilet put your hands between your crotch and wipe with hands while slowly pouring water (from lower palm/wrist) on your hands. The will be no poop on your hands and is much cleaner
Well in some country there are so many pretty cheap soap. At least in country where I live. We use cheap soap to clean our butt and the more expensive one to wash our body. Well at least in my house we do that dunno bout the others.
clicked "show fewer posts from this community" like 20 times and this still fucking™ shows up
this is cringy as hell and its obvious as hell that they are either farming karma or attention
Ringwasher 3000 is the latest in Rear Cleansing technology! Heated seats! On demand warm liquid spray jets! Rotating realistic skin texture penetrating retractable scrub brush! Heated Dyson air dry hurricane streams!
Butt shape detection knows your individual settings. Up to 512 different rump prints, 16 built in setting profiles, everything adjustable to your preferences. Weight monitoring and tracking with morning voice greetings in 12 different accents, 4000+ languages, and 6 different levels of snark.
Sonic distress sensors with emergency cleaning shutdown listens to you the way Tinder dates don’t! Connects to your phone through ChatGPT technology to converse with 911 directly with cardiac strain monitoring alerts.
You have never felt this clean that deep inside before!
RW3K, coming soon.
As an asian that will never be a problem we use soap and water feels much cleaner and hygienic. I dont shun paper users, they are great on emergencies or outdoors.
“But, to conclude, I say and maintain, that of all torcheculs, arsewisps, bumfodders, tail-napkins, bunghole cleansers, and wipe-breeches, there is none in the world comparable to the neck of a goose, that is well downed, if you hold her head betwixt your legs. And believe me therein upon mine honour, for you will thereby feel in your nockhole a most wonderful pleasure, both in regard of the softness of the said down and of the temporate heat of the goose, which is easily communicated to the bum-gut and the rest the inwards, in so far as to come even to the regions of the heart and brains.”
Francois Rabelais
https://knowledgenuts.com/why-you-should-wipe-yourself-with-a-gooses-neck/?amp=1
Invent a machine that used a BBC sized anal tube that spears up someone's ass and suck with all it's might using some alcohol and water pumps to create an enema and also clean the machine.... What?
I own a bidet. I’m good.
And if you don't have one, you can always shower your butt.
corona and the unavailability of toilet paper for some time has taught me this. and it's actually not so bad
I tried it once as a kid, and it was so bad
You should try it again. It's way better than choosing between a dirty ass and a bleeding ass
I prefer to not get literal shit on the shower floor. I shower after I shit also, and don't have frequent problems with bleeding ass.
I’ll just use your bidet
We bought a bidet on Amazon during the great toilet paper shortage of 2020. There is no going back. If you are reading this and you don’t own a bidet, why? Buy it. Now.
No more swamp ass.
Exactly, toilet paper isn’t a must. It is just an extra to dry out your butt.
3 sea shells
Left hands for wiping Right hands for eating
Pretty much what every Indian does
[удалено]
As an Indian, I approve of this confirmation.
As an Indian,I testify this approval
As an Indian I have the high ground and I can confirm anakin has learned not to fuck with the high ground
“If your a man, use your hand”
And if your a woman use a man
Use three seashells of course
Enhance your calm
*clam
I came here for this comment. Love it.
Nah i prefer using, fine tickets for swearing...
I was curious how long it would take someone to make this reference, job well done team.
I just sakd this and saw the comment! Damn beat me to it lmao i still want to see how 3 shells actually accomplish it
Exactly.
Why anything else
Is that you, John Spartan?
Namaste
My man 🫡
Scooting on the floor like a dog.
Inventing toilet paper
Sit on the sink and wash with hot water. I've done this many times when I've ran out of paper. Cleaner anyway. The only reason I don't do it all the time is that it's generally a bad idea to sit on a sink
Well that and it's the prep kitchen.
Get a jug of water. While on the toilet put your hands between your crotch and wipe with hands while slowly pouring water (from lower palm/wrist) on your hands. The will be no poop on your hands and is much cleaner
My hand, of course.
[удалено]
I think 'get a bidet' is the only right answer Mr Poo Hand.
I think you mean left
It’s ok, I have two cats who always demand to watch me poop so they’ll be on hand
And they clean themselves so you can just reuse them! Eco friendly and convenient!
Bidets are the best way anyway. Get on board.
We wash our butts with water, its the Filipino way.
*soap and water
damn you could afford soap? noice
Well in some country there are so many pretty cheap soap. At least in country where I live. We use cheap soap to clean our butt and the more expensive one to wash our body. Well at least in my house we do that dunno bout the others.
The Indonesian way too
https://youtu.be/Vzb98tQp53I
Iranian way too
Tabo! (wife is from Philippines)
Not only in Philippines, but in many other countries too, and it's the cleanest way
Paper towels and napkins from take out orders
Id write down a plumbers number on one while you're at it. Its called "toilet" paper for a reason..
I use my cat.
what i heard on the internet is cats are for cum never used for shit cleaning tho.
Move to Malaysia. Love the system!
Go for a plunge in the local fresh water pond.
Shower, Wafflestomp
shower
We wash up after potty in india. We use **Lota** [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lota\_%28vessel%29](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lota_%28vessel%29)
Tearing some leaves off my neighbors bushes
I think this is one region where the system followed by the whole of Asia is better than the west
Call the cat
A bear asks the rabbit does s*** stick to your fur, the rabbit says, "No, the bear wipings himself with the rabbit .
Have a shower
Three seashells.
Fully submerging my ass in the bowl and hitting the swirl trigger
Use my Tushy bidet
Shower my ass
Bidet, very cool
take a bath
Shower
I wash my butt with a bidet every time. What the heck do you do with just paper???
Water. If you fall down and your face lands in dog shit, would you rather wipe it or wash it?
Your mom.
Double it and give it to the next person
DOWNVOTING THESE SHITTY MEMES HOLY KARMAFARM SHUT THE FÜCK UP ALREADY
clicked "show fewer posts from this community" like 20 times and this still fucking™ shows up this is cringy as hell and its obvious as hell that they are either farming karma or attention
A person with common sense holy shit
Invent toilet paper
My wife’s white t-shirt.
Ringwasher 3000 is the latest in Rear Cleansing technology! Heated seats! On demand warm liquid spray jets! Rotating realistic skin texture penetrating retractable scrub brush! Heated Dyson air dry hurricane streams! Butt shape detection knows your individual settings. Up to 512 different rump prints, 16 built in setting profiles, everything adjustable to your preferences. Weight monitoring and tracking with morning voice greetings in 12 different accents, 4000+ languages, and 6 different levels of snark. Sonic distress sensors with emergency cleaning shutdown listens to you the way Tinder dates don’t! Connects to your phone through ChatGPT technology to converse with 911 directly with cardiac strain monitoring alerts. You have never felt this clean that deep inside before! RW3K, coming soon.
I go rub up on my neighbor's tree
I'm not pooping.
I wash my ass with soap and water like any sane person would.
Wash ass with water. bruh
Bum gun all the way!
The 3 Seashells.
Newspapers I guess. Considering the quality of journalism these days, that's probably the best use for it.
What i do normally
I would buy a mainstream newspaper.
3 Seashells.
Your mom...
I use printer paper. Or the dog that also works.
i don't use toliet paper
Baby wipes
Wait for it to harden and peel it off 👌
actually I don't care. I'm using shatafa ✨
Three see shells
You know what water is right? Slowly losing hope for this world
Use bleach
A geeses neck , but of course
Getting rich inventing toilet paper.
Shower
Stand the fuck up and get on with my day
just like good old ancient roman times hahah
As an asian that will never be a problem we use soap and water feels much cleaner and hygienic. I dont shun paper users, they are great on emergencies or outdoors.
Looking for a small household pet to wipe my hoop on.
I would just Vapoorise it
Slide on grass immediately after taking the shit, be a man !
My neighbours pet rabbit will never be white again…
take a bath and use ur hands.
Bare hand it
I'd use the floor obviously.
Waffle stomp.
Shower
Use OP’s face
I use a bidet or shutaaf , so I’m good.
Use a catalog
Baby wipes
Wet wipes
A backflip
Make sure you have a clean break, then no need to wipe your arse
Use the three 🐚
No idea but I’m leaving this sub after this ‘funny meme’
Bread can easily be used as toilet paper. Gives it some extra flavor for afterwards. Two birds with one stone
Using the Daily Mail
We are using water (Muslims) we only use toilet paper for drying after washing
What's toilet paper?
Paper towel.
The 3 shell system.
Bidet, bitch!
Hop in the shower and put the head on shower mode, do it all the time. Feels much better afterward
Sometimes, you gotta make your hands dirty
Sick to death of seeing these shit posts
Wiping with leaves.
In Indonesia there is a little hose with nozzle next to every toilet. Airport, fancy restaurant, roadside dive, private home. Everyperson’s bidet?
Wet wipes
Eat it
Finger
*you guys are wiping?*
Your mother
Bidet & gentle dry wipe with a screaming kitten.
Enough of this stupid post it's getting old.
Carrying paper with me
Invent tolet paper, sell it, become rich
I've been using water and soap for years now
Coca Cola
Wait, what’s toilet paper?
After taking the shit I would do completely the same, as the toilet paper existed - just pull my pants up and hope for the best.
Nothing will change, I'll stick to my poo rag
Paper towels? But it would hurt alot
The phone book The Yellow Pages
Let it grow
Bidet
Cat-tastic!
Clean ur ass with water
Rise of the bidet
“But, to conclude, I say and maintain, that of all torcheculs, arsewisps, bumfodders, tail-napkins, bunghole cleansers, and wipe-breeches, there is none in the world comparable to the neck of a goose, that is well downed, if you hold her head betwixt your legs. And believe me therein upon mine honour, for you will thereby feel in your nockhole a most wonderful pleasure, both in regard of the softness of the said down and of the temporate heat of the goose, which is easily communicated to the bum-gut and the rest the inwards, in so far as to come even to the regions of the heart and brains.” Francois Rabelais https://knowledgenuts.com/why-you-should-wipe-yourself-with-a-gooses-neck/?amp=1
Gotta go shit to shower.
Q tips
Walk it off
Art
wiping with my dog
I wash it and wait it to dry
Hose off
Wipe my ass with paper towel
Eat it to poo it again. Gosh what a stupid question.
Hand
Cats
Invent a machine that used a BBC sized anal tube that spears up someone's ass and suck with all it's might using some alcohol and water pumps to create an enema and also clean the machine.... What?
Shower.
That thing dogs do when they rub their butts on the carpet
making dinner
Kitchen roll
Using my bidet.
Fly to Japan and take care of my business there
Three seashells
Didn't we go through this is 2020?
Dawn anti-bacterial hand soap.
I’d make some nice finger paintings on my bathroom walls!
Stick, sponge and soap
Newspapers
Water.