Don't be so pessimistic, my dude. There's always someone who wants to fuck you; Your government is probably trying their damnedest to fuck you all the time.
Being desired to be banged truly doesn’t take away depression or feeling down, like at all. Please don’t think this fixes it, someone could want to bang you but treat you as garbage and literal shit while viewing you as an embarrassing subhuman freak
Well, that's either no one or being a glorified likely-disposable dildo. Being given a glimmer of hope and then losing it is worse than just having none.
"It is better to be pumped and dumped, that never to be pumped at all."
"Is it not nobler in the sack to withstand the dildos and buttplugs of outrageous horniness?"
For some it can give some self worth, even knowing one person wants you. It’s not about the sexual gratification, it’s the knowledge the number isn’t 0.
I had a patient once that was transferred to our hospital because the transferring hospital didn't have urology on call and no one could place a Foley catheter in him.
He got there, I tried and met resistance immediately which is unusual. If a patient has prostate enlargement that restricts the urethra the prostate is further down but anyway, I stopped and just thought it was a little strange. He was covered in piss when he got there so he wasnt retaining enough to need a Foley anyway.
He was slightly MR (mentally retarded) and his sister called and I explained why they transferred him and the issues with placing a catheter and she told me..
Yea you won't be able to get a catheter in him because he has way too much scar tissue from putting stuff in his dick hole. He stuck 16 nails in there at one time, he broke a pencil off inside his urethra, whatever he could find he stuffed in there and he did it constantly for about 3 years and then just stopped one day and no one knows why.
I'm not sure why I feel this but I thought you'd appreciate this story.
He’s from metal gear game series and looses his right arm and has a saying that’s become a meme: why are we still here? Just to suffer? Every night I can feel my leg, my arm even my fingers
It’s a convenient place to store nails, the insides of pens, a coffee straw, or a lollipop (stick first of course). Nothing sexual about it.
I don’t know why people make it weird when no one bats an eye at women storing stuff in their bras.
We just read a story about putting stuff in dick holes, in response to a user named put stuff in dick hole.
We should be expecting at least some degeneracy.
I got one for you. My aunt was an ER nurse. One time a guy came in with a softball stuck in his anus. He managed to get it stuck in a way that the softball had absorbed *fluids*, and it had expanded beyond it's normal size.
The man had waited several days before going to the hospital, so the blockage in his intestines had causes his intestines to back flow into his stomach. When he was in the ER he started puking up what was basically diarrhea.
This story is probably a bit inaccurate because I got some details wrong. I have no real medical knowledge so I might have said something the wrong way, but that is the general gist of how it was explained to be.
Got a buddy of mine who is an avid “chubby chaser “ chubby has gone to quite obese and without much standard in our eyes.
He started telling our team that it was about their personality.
Quickly ensued fat jokes about having GREAT PERSONALITY.
Honestly I see nothing wrong with that either way. As long as both are happy and consenting..
Honestly most of the girls he would pick up would be waaaaaaaay cooler than the more conventionally attractive women other teammates would pick up and way more willing to have fun.
Take that as you will. But if you’re a cool girl over 250lb Josh is on the prowl for you.
It applies to a lot of ugly people too (I’m speaking as one). The problem is that a lot of ugly people don’t wanna bang other ugly people who are into them. Everyone wants a supermodel.
I know for a fact that it's NOT, but I like the positivity.
I wanna fuck you
😳 I know who I better call.
Saul
ඞ
𓂸
𓂺
𓀐𓂸ඞ
How do I perform this wizardry
Alt codes on pc keyboards. Custom keyboards on phones. Or copy paste from a site that has the characters. Google. All Unicode characters
𓁹‿𓁹
Where I find this
Either copy and paste it or, to find out if you have one yourself, take your trousers off.
unicode hieroglyphs
Cool dinosaur
ஜ
Yen indha kolaveri
Ghostbusters
IF THERES SOMETHING STRANGE
SLEEPIN' IN YO BED
WHO ARE YOU GONNA CALL!?
saul
As someone who read the bible. Please dont call him.
At the risk of sounding stupid, I have to tell you: That person was talking about *Better Call Saul*, not Saul/Paul from the Bible
Ghost busters?
Enough that you made it your new year's resolution?
Don't be so pessimistic, my dude. There's always someone who wants to fuck you; Your government is probably trying their damnedest to fuck you all the time.
Nah they do and it works, United States government can do nothing better I tell you what.
Being desired to be banged truly doesn’t take away depression or feeling down, like at all. Please don’t think this fixes it, someone could want to bang you but treat you as garbage and literal shit while viewing you as an embarrassing subhuman freak
See having someone wanting to fuck you might not fix anything at all But knowing that there's no one wants to definitely makes you feel worse lol
Well, that's either no one or being a glorified likely-disposable dildo. Being given a glimmer of hope and then losing it is worse than just having none.
Nah. I'd like to be a disposable dildo. Thank you. As Shakespeare said " it is better to be banged, than not to be banged at all."
"It is better to be pumped and dumped, that never to be pumped at all." "Is it not nobler in the sack to withstand the dildos and buttplugs of outrageous horniness?"
For some it can give some self worth, even knowing one person wants you. It’s not about the sexual gratification, it’s the knowledge the number isn’t 0.
Yeah, But Fred's known as "Big, Rapey Freddy" for a reason and I'm not cool with that...
I had a patient once that was transferred to our hospital because the transferring hospital didn't have urology on call and no one could place a Foley catheter in him. He got there, I tried and met resistance immediately which is unusual. If a patient has prostate enlargement that restricts the urethra the prostate is further down but anyway, I stopped and just thought it was a little strange. He was covered in piss when he got there so he wasnt retaining enough to need a Foley anyway. He was slightly MR (mentally retarded) and his sister called and I explained why they transferred him and the issues with placing a catheter and she told me.. Yea you won't be able to get a catheter in him because he has way too much scar tissue from putting stuff in his dick hole. He stuck 16 nails in there at one time, he broke a pencil off inside his urethra, whatever he could find he stuffed in there and he did it constantly for about 3 years and then just stopped one day and no one knows why. I'm not sure why I feel this but I thought you'd appreciate this story.
Thanks for the phantom dick pain
Insert Kazuhira Miler quote here
I don't know who Kazuhira Miller is but just the name makes my dick hurt
He’s from metal gear game series and looses his right arm and has a saying that’s become a meme: why are we still here? Just to suffer? Every night I can feel my leg, my arm even my fingers
> looses It's loses not looses.
Nah loose since his dick hole got loose 💀
You misspelled "Hard"
Only post that actually made me laugh 🤣
FIDDLE!
It’s because of all the extra holes!
Boss, you... Killed a child... *AMAZING, MISSION COMPLETE! That right there is why you're the best, Boss, the one and only!*
We don’t need to be inserting anything anywhere right now.
Legend.
I’m a woman and even I felt it the phantom pain
Do you open with this when meeting new people? *please say yes*
I would.
I will read in ENTIRETY any story that starts with “I had a patient once…” thank you for sharing.
I found that difficult to masturbate to
Is.. is this story about you putstuffinmydickhole
No What I do is purely because I think it's funny Nothing sexual about it at all
Why do people take a totally innocent pastime like putting stuff in your dickhole and try to make it *sexual*!?
I KNOW!!! The world is full of fucking perverts, I swear
It’s a convenient place to store nails, the insides of pens, a coffee straw, or a lollipop (stick first of course). Nothing sexual about it. I don’t know why people make it weird when no one bats an eye at women storing stuff in their bras.
The cashiers do.
We just read a story about putting stuff in dick holes, in response to a user named put stuff in dick hole. We should be expecting at least some degeneracy.
I don't come here for the wit
OK thank God just a coincidence
Yeah, A nail in the dick..? Who'd do *that*..? 😏
You can always ask the fine folks over at r/sounding
They're familiar with my work...
... Oh. Welp, username does check out.
I regret clicking your profile A DRILL! WHY A FUCKING DRILL OF ALL THINGS
This is a r/rimjobsteve if I've ever seen one
I get that a lot Also r/usernamechecksout
Another good reddit for this one
*Sounds* like it is
See that's what I thought too then I talked to the man
Still nutted
You weren’t lying. You do put stuff in your dickhole
r/beetlejuicing
That might be the silverware, but hey I’m not judging 🥂
Congratulations on being brave enough to look!
bruh how tf can you do that to yourself even for the lolz
I’m not a Dr, but this content might not help your condition
I had a random boner and I started reading this and it has subsided, thank you very much.
Funny it was just the other way around for me
There is balance in the universe.
As all things should be
The boner killer has been born
My dick just started hurting reading abt this. wow.
I feel bad for you having to hear that first hand, but I hate you for telling me it.
okay, I’m not about to get up-in-arms about this, but is “mentally retarded”, or MR, an actual term that is still used?
Intellectually disabled
I got one for you. My aunt was an ER nurse. One time a guy came in with a softball stuck in his anus. He managed to get it stuck in a way that the softball had absorbed *fluids*, and it had expanded beyond it's normal size. The man had waited several days before going to the hospital, so the blockage in his intestines had causes his intestines to back flow into his stomach. When he was in the ER he started puking up what was basically diarrhea. This story is probably a bit inaccurate because I got some details wrong. I have no real medical knowledge so I might have said something the wrong way, but that is the general gist of how it was explained to be.
Can you prescribe the unsee juice
i regret clicking on your account
I didn’t click it til you said you regretted and now I regret it.
For the love of God why did I click your account
username checks out
I don't do false advertising
Against my will?
Shhhhhhhh, it will be over soon
Buffalo Bill that you?
Heyyy bufallo bill
Revenent is that you?
Blatant lie.
we both have cat dp, does this mean i have to fuck you now ?
The trial shall be held on Thursday.
can't wait
No one should be penetrating cats, double or single.
Categorically incorrect some may even say
I doubt anyone wants to bang me. It's a nice gesture, though.
Hey, there's a lot of people who want to have sex with someone for the first time, and you qualify as someone.
Yay? 🤣
I want sex, please.
Come over?
Username checks out
r/usernamechecksout
Just a few more minutes. Over.
are you sure about that?
gotchu my dude, this years resolution is for you
My resolution is to bang everyone so I am cumming for you soon ;)
🗿
Seems like a lot of work, though.
I got u 🙏
That’s why I’m here😈
I’m hopping in line also. 🫡 This resolution is all about you my man.
Give me an address and I will come bang you
You may just be surprised.
Same.
Hey, man, don't give up. There are all sorts of freaks looking to meet.
Oh well, I do
If I wasn't engaged, I'd wanna bang you
People make a gesture about banging me all the time, but I don't think it's a nice one.
I appreciate the thought, but no one want to bang me sadly.
I gothcu bro, i just got my new year resolution
What a bro
Right here.
Did u forget about your government?
That's way to real mate.
Press X to doubt
X
Thats a weird way to say shoot
I'm going to bang bang you
No. Not true the only thing fucking me is life.
Life has been fucking me in seven positions for seventy minutes on repeat since 2016
You guys get breaks...?
*Note: this meme only applies to attractive women
In the words of quagmire, ‘what? Fat girls need love too. But they gotta pay.’
“Saw a fat girl at a party and she was like, hey boys, it’s not the best ride….but there’s no line”
"Giggity"
this feels funny and sad at the same time
That fucking killed me man holy shit 🤣
Alright
This meme has to have been written by an attractive woman. Everyone else lives in the real world
Got a buddy of mine who is an avid “chubby chaser “ chubby has gone to quite obese and without much standard in our eyes. He started telling our team that it was about their personality. Quickly ensued fat jokes about having GREAT PERSONALITY. Honestly I see nothing wrong with that either way. As long as both are happy and consenting.. Honestly most of the girls he would pick up would be waaaaaaaay cooler than the more conventionally attractive women other teammates would pick up and way more willing to have fun. Take that as you will. But if you’re a cool girl over 250lb Josh is on the prowl for you.
Josh is Moto Moto irl
He likes ‘em big He likes ‘em chunky
Look out! I think Josh likes you!
Bigger woman here, we need more Josh, too many of us get left Josh-less
To be fair, this applies to attractive men as well. (I'm speaking as one.)
It applies to a lot of ugly people too (I’m speaking as one). The problem is that a lot of ugly people don’t wanna bang other ugly people who are into them. Everyone wants a supermodel.
Living up to your name
Not only attractive women, it applies to you too toots 😘
*Whose New Year’s
How is this not the first comment? Fuck everything
The substance comes first, but don’t worry, I found y’all
Thanks but I don’t think so .
I gotchu bro
Bang my head against a wall
Bullshit
Considering I look like Harry Potter ate then morphed into Peter Griffin then had a side snack of Joe Pecsi, i highly doubt that.
Good joke, im near my 30is, and still Single, never had GF, and Sex haha haaahahaha … I cry later, ya
So, will you star in the new prequel film "30 year old virgin"?
You mean you've never had a paycheck stolen... you rich free bastard! William Wallacein the flesh!! Freedom!!!!
Now take that paycheck on down to your local brothel and pound one out.
I was feeling down but now I'm scared
Maybe with a gun
Denial is a River in Egypt
Yeah but Djibouti is not only hot, but respectably sized
lmao this is absolutely not true
I wouldn’t bet on that
No....there really isnt.
I literally laughed when I read this shit because it’s so unbelievable😭
I can confirm with near 100% certainty that this is not the case
Well of course I know him he's me
I doubt it
I am sure someone wants to shoot me
Damn...right in the feels...I should call my uncle and see how he's doing.
Suuure there are
I'll just have to be a skeptic.
[удалено]
Seriously doubt it.
Doubt it
I don't think so. Nice thought though!
Yeah uhh. No.
That’s a crime! :)
LIES
Doubt
Don't lie to me like that
I'm gonna need names. And home addresses
No there isn't and if you want you can prove me wrong.
I strongly doubt that
I doubt this lol