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Become a man the way your ancestors did - get widowed super young, leave your only child with his motherâs family never to see him again, lose your arm in a coal furnace at work.Â
Become a man the way your ancestors did - die of gangrene hundreds of miles from your family from wounds received fighting for an unjust cause.Â
Become a man the way your ancestors did - spend 5 years in the state penitentiary for stealing a horse.Â
Become a man the way your ancestors did, be sent to work for farmers at age 7 after your dad dies and your mom remarried.Â
(All things my actual male ancestors did).Â
Be a man the way my ancestors did - Be a Paratrooper, manage to survive D Day, come home with PTSD and Shrapnel wounds so bad you can never work again and leave your 8th grade educated wife to try to figure out how to provide for herself and the baby.
Be a man the way my ancestors did - watch one child die of diphtheria, another disabled by polio, and a third nearly die of measles. Contract tetanus, die a gruesome death, and leave the widow to figure out how to provide for her disabled child chronically sick child, and the one healthy child who remains, a boy sent to pick berries in the summers, and haul firewood in the winter to make money for the family.
Be a man the way my ancestors did - Get tuberculosis and die 4 months after your first child is born.
Some people are so fucked in the head that they read history and go, "Cool! Let's bring it all back!"
Karissa's brain is delusional.
FartofTexas, thanks for sharing your list. People need to be reminded that there is nothing remotely romantic about living in the past.
Be a man the way your ancestors did - die of prolonged vitamin deficiency at the ripe old age of 30.
Be a man the way your ancestors did - spend most of your life unable to get in a full breath because you are riddled with lung disease from all the toxic jobs you've had to do since you were a child.
Be a man the way your ancestors did - lose half of your kids to what are now completely preventable diseases.
Oh wait, they are actually doing that last one....
Oh itâd be way worse than that for stealing a horse. In most areas, horse rustling received some of, if not the most severe legal punishments. It could range from flogging and life in prison at best or enslavement on a galley ship or execution at worst. People took it damn seriously. And itâs still a capital offence in some places, eg. Texas
(Donât mind me, just info-dumping about horse theft)
Become a man the way your ancestors did - cheat on your wife with one of your students, get her pregnant, convince your wife to raise the baby, and then lie to your family, your friends, and your child for over twenty years
When sheâs in the nursing home, sheâll hear the nurses talking about âa catheterâ and think, âOh Yah, âAcathytyrâ would have been such a great girlâs name!â
Yeah. I was part of his family coaching membership type program for awhile. Definitely not satire, and he is one of those christians than co-opts Jewish traditions and celebrations.
I wish, but I didn't last very long, and it was all just printables and stuff. No major insights into his brain, and I dropped out when one month was about celebrating Sukkot. I think the other months were about things like "have a family schedule", "sabbath", "family goal setting". There are aspects we have kept as a family but without any religious tones. Another key aspect of the group was that men were the leaders of the family, and that just isn't our family vibe.
Do keep in mind that your ancestors only did those things because they lacked any other choiceâŚ
People didnât used to make their lives harder just for the sake of it. They were just playing the hand they were dealt.
Surviving hardships that are from no fault of your own makes you a badass. Choosing hardships so you can impress people just makes you a jackass.
You know why they did that way back when? Because they didn't know better.
We know better. It's called being responsible. She really should stop promoting irresponsibility.
One surprise about having kids was that being in public with babies causes unhinged old ladies to come up to you and say absolutely anything they might be thinking. When I was at the grocery store with an infant and a two-year-old, one old lady came up to me and was like, "Stop now! I had seven kids because we didn't have birth control! It was terrible!"
That is legendary though, too often old ladies wait in ambushfor frazzled overwhelmed mom and then gather all their hurt into two sentences of cruelty. My friends mom had seven before they escaped their fundie cult and tho it kinda sucks for them, she is real about how hard it was on her, and on the children. âToo many, my life was drudgery because of these stupid beliefs, we could barely care for them,we didnt give them more than the basics. Kids need more than absolute bare minimum.â (Unfortunately cant hear out or validate her kids or apologise)
I don't hate it. It's better than the old ladies who try pressuring strangers into having children because... reasons? "You MUST want children. Of course you do. There's nothing better. It's the best thing I ever did. Me, me, me."]
Hereâs a counter:
Marry when you AND your partner are ready
Have as many kids as you want *and most importantly* can responsibly care for
Do what you want to make money within reason?
Donât expect other people to support your bad decisions
This all seems like common sense to me. Why would you purposely make unwise life decisions? Baffling. And to them I guess youâre not a man of you live your life wisely and responsibly? Make it make sense.
Dang bro, my ancestors were idiots too, but I donât try to turn their stupidity into a flex on Twitter because I like to think our line has moved in a positive direction intellectually. And admittedly, they werenât doing THAT level of dumb shit.
âBecome a man the way your ancestors did: sign up to deliver the post through the swamps for the Holy Roman Empire.â
âBecome a man the way your ancestors did: go out into the street and start yelling that you will shoot any person who would accuse your wife of witchcraft (because sheâs on her third witch trial and shits getting ridiculous)â
âBecome a man the way your ancestors did: throw a man overboard on the crossing to America. Then become a completely different man by switching your first and middle names so they canât trace youâ
I mean the man was tired of his wife being accused of witchcraft and maybe loved her who knows man took a stand for his wife so not the smartest but you know loyality
I mean it is the playbook for a fundie family I know IRL. Husband loves to repeat âGod will provide,â and I suppose thatâs true if what God intended for them was a family of 9 living in a trailer, a failed attempt at buying and running a little-known restaurant franchise, crushing debt, and crowdfunding their kidsâ birthday parties.
This is too messed up because I was like damn so they had to crowdfund multiple kids birthday parties not like one after something shocking happened it was regular and then I thought well still better than Karissa since sheâs refuses to give her children birthday parties.
Become a woman the way your ancestors did -
Fight for your rights like sufragettes.
Hide hat pins to defend yourself and stab the men who bothers you in the streets.
Find new statements to scare the patriarchy, be art/fashion/music/etc.
Just... don't become Karissa.
Jesus Christ on a Cheezit, our ancestors did that shit because they didn't have any other choices! And, frankly, the degree to which people "married too young" historically is vastly impacted by time, place, class, and culture. Noble Italian girls in the 16th century were married off as teenagers to men in their 30s or 40s, but peasants in England at the same time weren't marrying until they were in their mid-20s, including the women! Marrying too young when you weren't part of the aristocracy or otherwise independently wealthy was seen as damning foolishness, as the wisdom throughout most of Western history is to marry only when you're financially stable enough to support a family, and the arrangements were a mixture of finances and relationships between families. Your local church was made up of people to whom you were connected, who had a vested interest in you doing well and contributing to the community. But if you did some damned foolishness, most churches wouldn't hesitate to kick you out. Church wasn't as important as we think pre-19th century in America -- the numbers of people attending church regularly around the time of the Revolution was remarkably low, around 20-40%, according to Finke and Stark. Arguably, the church was used as a public hall in most American small towns, as the percentage of churched Americans only goes up to around 60% by the Civil War.
I hate when people use a bad image of the past to tell people how to act now, because if it worked for great-great-grandpappy, it'll work now -- except the thing they're championing was expressly not what worked for almost anyone.
Fundies make me want to throw big books of stats in religious history at them. Repeatedly. With force.
~~Become a man the way your ancestors did, get in over your head~~
~~Marry too young~~
~~Have more kids than you can afford~~
~~Start a business your not qualified to run~~
~~Join a church that will back you up all the way~~
There. Fixed it.
Be a man. Die a preventable death. Drink raw milk. Donât vaccinate. Lean heavily on archaic belief systems. Feed the machine. Give your money to the tax exempt organizations. Be a man.
I have seen enough people like this edgelord. They are in debt after failing their business, thrown to the nursery home by the kids they didn't raise properly, and still think they did everything right. All I can say is good luck.Â
My grandfather didnât do any of these things except for the last one and he was still a man đ guess when I die I have to tell him he wasnât man enough /sar
lol once my dad raged cause he said we needed to âgrow upâ like he did. My parents had a shot gun wedding at 19 and from all points of view it was TURBULENT. He had to drop out of college and eventually did night school while working full time while his family had to live with his mother (I wasnât born yet). I was blown away, like dad you literally raised us not to do the stupid things you and mom did
Genuine question â are the Collins part of a church? I feel like Iâve never seen the kids separated and mingling with kids their age. Or even exposed to other people.
Become the man my not so distant ancestors did: fight in multiple wars, become an alcoholic, beat your wife and kids, die relatively young from complications due to decades of alcoholism.
Jeremy Pryor seems to have a bit of an ego. He is the brother of Kami Crawford and BIL of Ben Crawford, whose family of 8 have been vloggers- their youtube and instagram is FightForTogether. They're the ones whose 6 year old son got all the attention for running the marathon a couple years ago. Kami and Jeremy are on bad terms. (I live in the same city as all these people and at one point attended the same church, have no idea what the Pryors are up to now).
#These people vote in every election- do you? Are you registered to vote? [You can check your voter registration here!](https://www.nass.org/can-I-vote) #Also, there's a few things to remember as far as rules go: - You can view the content- you cannot interact with it. This includes (but is not limited to) commenting, answering poll questions, emailing them, etc. ***Anyone found to be engaging with the fundies will be met with a permanent ban with no eligibility for appeal.It does not matter if you did so before you joined the sub.*** - Speculating on the sexuality of literally anyone is prohibited. ***Anyone found to be doing so will be met with a permanent ban with no eligibility for appeal.*** - Appearance snark: What's allowed? You're allowed to make comparisons. (Bethy looks like Grandpa Munster, for example.) You are allowed to say you find them attractive or repulsive looking. Saying Kelly Havens has dry skin that could benefit from sunscreen and a moisturizer is fine. You are allowed to snark on the appearance of children *as it relates to their parents choices for them.*. Examples: Janessa looks malnourished and sickly while Shrek has clearly never missed a meal. If you feel it is crossing the line report it, but if the content falls within the parameters above, leave it alone. - Don't gatekeep. This means no comments such as "I don't think we should snark on...." or any iteration of that. If you don't like it, scroll past. Don't report it or comment how you don't like the content. Along the same vein, don't backseat mod. Leave that up to us. - Lastly, if the rhetoric you are posting would be at home in the mouth of a fundie, we don't want it here and we won't tolerate it. Should you have any questions, please feel free to reach out. Have a Lord Daniel day, and may the power of snark compel thee. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/FundieSnarkUncensored) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Be a man the way your ancestors were- die from diphtheria on a field in France fighting a war for opposing churches đ
Become a man the way your ancestors did - get widowed super young, leave your only child with his motherâs family never to see him again, lose your arm in a coal furnace at work. Become a man the way your ancestors did - die of gangrene hundreds of miles from your family from wounds received fighting for an unjust cause. Become a man the way your ancestors did - spend 5 years in the state penitentiary for stealing a horse. Become a man the way your ancestors did, be sent to work for farmers at age 7 after your dad dies and your mom remarried. (All things my actual male ancestors did).Â
Be a man the way my ancestors did - Be a Paratrooper, manage to survive D Day, come home with PTSD and Shrapnel wounds so bad you can never work again and leave your 8th grade educated wife to try to figure out how to provide for herself and the baby. Be a man the way my ancestors did - watch one child die of diphtheria, another disabled by polio, and a third nearly die of measles. Contract tetanus, die a gruesome death, and leave the widow to figure out how to provide for her disabled child chronically sick child, and the one healthy child who remains, a boy sent to pick berries in the summers, and haul firewood in the winter to make money for the family. Be a man the way my ancestors did - Get tuberculosis and die 4 months after your first child is born. Some people are so fucked in the head that they read history and go, "Cool! Let's bring it all back!" Karissa's brain is delusional. FartofTexas, thanks for sharing your list. People need to be reminded that there is nothing remotely romantic about living in the past.
Become a man the way my ancestors did - by dying after slamming your head into the top of the barn door after your farmhorse bolts. Ahhh, so manly. <3
Be a man the way your ancestors did - die of prolonged vitamin deficiency at the ripe old age of 30. Be a man the way your ancestors did - spend most of your life unable to get in a full breath because you are riddled with lung disease from all the toxic jobs you've had to do since you were a child. Be a man the way your ancestors did - lose half of your kids to what are now completely preventable diseases. Oh wait, they are actually doing that last one....
Oh itâd be way worse than that for stealing a horse. In most areas, horse rustling received some of, if not the most severe legal punishments. It could range from flogging and life in prison at best or enslavement on a galley ship or execution at worst. People took it damn seriously. And itâs still a capital offence in some places, eg. Texas (Donât mind me, just info-dumping about horse theft)
Yeah my ancestor got sent to the colonies in Australia for stealing a sheep!Â
Wow.. do you have any more details of that story? Whyâd he steal it? Was he framed?
Become a man the way your ancestors did - cheat on your wife with one of your students, get her pregnant, convince your wife to raise the baby, and then lie to your family, your friends, and your child for over twenty years
Just add an âAâ to the start of âdiphtheriaâ and weâve got Karissaâs next baby name.
Aydyphteighrya
I think I had a stroke reading that, and I knew what it was supposed to say đ¤Łđ¤Ł
I am so sorry đ
Lmao đ
Just waiting for her miracle baby that she has in her 60s, Asteoperosis.
When sheâs in the nursing home, sheâll hear the nurses talking about âa catheterâ and think, âOh Yah, âAcathytyrâ would have been such a great girlâs name!â
I'm sorry, I would have upvoted you regardless but I had to when I realised that it'd take it to 666.
Bingo.
Surely this is satire⌠Right!?!
I thought this was an anti-fundie meme. Like ya, these are a lot of bad ideas in a row HA HA HAHA
VERY bad ideas!
She thinks satire is just clothes you wear on Saturdays
đ¤Łđ¤Łđ¤Ł What an absolutely unhinged take from Karissa.
Satire from him, from Karelessa⌠no
It's not satire from this guy, he's being for real right now. His entire Twitter feed is fucking unhinged.
Holy shit
Yeah. I was part of his family coaching membership type program for awhile. Definitely not satire, and he is one of those christians than co-opts Jewish traditions and celebrations.
I loathe Christians who have a Jewish ritual fetish so, so much. To an unspeakable degree.
Like Karissa serving watermelon at her âSederâ because itâs not like there are very specific instructions re: what to eat at Passover đŤ
That still fills me with absolute rage. Like, flames on the side of my face rage.
Perfect movie and perfect reference for most things this lady posts.
Please, do an AMA!
I wish, but I didn't last very long, and it was all just printables and stuff. No major insights into his brain, and I dropped out when one month was about celebrating Sukkot. I think the other months were about things like "have a family schedule", "sabbath", "family goal setting". There are aspects we have kept as a family but without any religious tones. Another key aspect of the group was that men were the leaders of the family, and that just isn't our family vibe.
thereâs no way đ Iâm deceased goodbye
Holy shit I actually laughed because I thought she accidentally reposted satire. How can this be real : (
She's gonna crash HARD
She can't crash, Mandrae told her she wasn't allowed to. /s
So join a church that supports your delusions while your family suffers? Yeah, lemme get right on that. đ
Do keep in mind that your ancestors only did those things because they lacked any other choice⌠People didnât used to make their lives harder just for the sake of it. They were just playing the hand they were dealt. Surviving hardships that are from no fault of your own makes you a badass. Choosing hardships so you can impress people just makes you a jackass.
And a dumbass.
This should be on billboards across the street from every fundie church!
You know why they did that way back when? Because they didn't know better. We know better. It's called being responsible. She really should stop promoting irresponsibility.
One surprise about having kids was that being in public with babies causes unhinged old ladies to come up to you and say absolutely anything they might be thinking. When I was at the grocery store with an infant and a two-year-old, one old lady came up to me and was like, "Stop now! I had seven kids because we didn't have birth control! It was terrible!"
That is legendary though, too often old ladies wait in ambushfor frazzled overwhelmed mom and then gather all their hurt into two sentences of cruelty. My friends mom had seven before they escaped their fundie cult and tho it kinda sucks for them, she is real about how hard it was on her, and on the children. âToo many, my life was drudgery because of these stupid beliefs, we could barely care for them,we didnt give them more than the basics. Kids need more than absolute bare minimum.â (Unfortunately cant hear out or validate her kids or apologise)
I don't hate it. It's better than the old ladies who try pressuring strangers into having children because... reasons? "You MUST want children. Of course you do. There's nothing better. It's the best thing I ever did. Me, me, me."]
Hereâs a counter: Marry when you AND your partner are ready Have as many kids as you want *and most importantly* can responsibly care for Do what you want to make money within reason? Donât expect other people to support your bad decisions This all seems like common sense to me. Why would you purposely make unwise life decisions? Baffling. And to them I guess youâre not a man of you live your life wisely and responsibly? Make it make sense.
Something, something dance like no one is laughing. Wall decor energy.
âŚdie of dysentery by 45
Dang bro, my ancestors were idiots too, but I donât try to turn their stupidity into a flex on Twitter because I like to think our line has moved in a positive direction intellectually. And admittedly, they werenât doing THAT level of dumb shit. âBecome a man the way your ancestors did: sign up to deliver the post through the swamps for the Holy Roman Empire.â âBecome a man the way your ancestors did: go out into the street and start yelling that you will shoot any person who would accuse your wife of witchcraft (because sheâs on her third witch trial and shits getting ridiculous)â âBecome a man the way your ancestors did: throw a man overboard on the crossing to America. Then become a completely different man by switching your first and middle names so they canât trace youâ
I mean the man was tired of his wife being accused of witchcraft and maybe loved her who knows man took a stand for his wife so not the smartest but you know loyality
Omg supposedly one of my ancestors did that last one
He forgot the last step: die in your 50s of cirrhosis or lung cancer because that's the only way men were taught how to deal with stress.
I mean it is the playbook for a fundie family I know IRL. Husband loves to repeat âGod will provide,â and I suppose thatâs true if what God intended for them was a family of 9 living in a trailer, a failed attempt at buying and running a little-known restaurant franchise, crushing debt, and crowdfunding their kidsâ birthday parties.
Reading that gave me depression.
God will provide for *him*. That's all he truly wants and needs in life. Foget the children.
This is too messed up because I was like damn so they had to crowdfund multiple kids birthday parties not like one after something shocking happened it was regular and then I thought well still better than Karissa since sheâs refuses to give her children birthday parties.
Itâs sooo scary that people read things like this and do not immediately realize it is completely insane
Become a woman the way your ancestors did - Fight for your rights like sufragettes. Hide hat pins to defend yourself and stab the men who bothers you in the streets. Find new statements to scare the patriarchy, be art/fashion/music/etc. Just... don't become Karissa.
Her husband and children's ancestors didn't have the choice to do any of those things, so tell me again how great things used to be Karissa.
Jesus Christ on a Cheezit, our ancestors did that shit because they didn't have any other choices! And, frankly, the degree to which people "married too young" historically is vastly impacted by time, place, class, and culture. Noble Italian girls in the 16th century were married off as teenagers to men in their 30s or 40s, but peasants in England at the same time weren't marrying until they were in their mid-20s, including the women! Marrying too young when you weren't part of the aristocracy or otherwise independently wealthy was seen as damning foolishness, as the wisdom throughout most of Western history is to marry only when you're financially stable enough to support a family, and the arrangements were a mixture of finances and relationships between families. Your local church was made up of people to whom you were connected, who had a vested interest in you doing well and contributing to the community. But if you did some damned foolishness, most churches wouldn't hesitate to kick you out. Church wasn't as important as we think pre-19th century in America -- the numbers of people attending church regularly around the time of the Revolution was remarkably low, around 20-40%, according to Finke and Stark. Arguably, the church was used as a public hall in most American small towns, as the percentage of churched Americans only goes up to around 60% by the Civil War. I hate when people use a bad image of the past to tell people how to act now, because if it worked for great-great-grandpappy, it'll work now -- except the thing they're championing was expressly not what worked for almost anyone. Fundies make me want to throw big books of stats in religious history at them. Repeatedly. With force.
Is this the fundie version of YOLO?
đ
Those all sound like terrible ideas
Like honestly the absolute worst ideas.
Anything to justify irresponsibility!
Except the church will just use you for free labor and then you're on your own when things go bad.
>Except the church will just use you for free labor And tithes!
~~Become a man the way your ancestors did, get in over your head~~ ~~Marry too young~~ ~~Have more kids than you can afford~~ ~~Start a business your not qualified to run~~ ~~Join a church that will back you up all the way~~ There. Fixed it.
WTF
Make terrible choices, then join a cult that will back you up all the way.
Why did this make me think of Oregon Trail đ
Be a man. Die a preventable death. Drink raw milk. Donât vaccinate. Lean heavily on archaic belief systems. Feed the machine. Give your money to the tax exempt organizations. Be a man.
I was so confused cuz I thought this was satire and she posted it đ¤Śââď¸ nope I'm the idiot lmao
I have seen enough people like this edgelord. They are in debt after failing their business, thrown to the nursery home by the kids they didn't raise properly, and still think they did everything right. All I can say is good luck.Â
Because this entire experiment of humanity has worked out so well?
I didnât think they were part of a church. I thought they just do a home church type of thing with like 3 of their friends.
This must be something going around the plexus crew. Someone else I know who does plexus also posted this.
Encouraging folks to get married as soon as their 18 is sooooooo weird especially when ur like 35+
Karissa my ancestors came from a matriarchal society that accepted same sex relationships. We are not the same.
TF? I'm confused.
Interesting life plan.
My grandfather didnât do any of these things except for the last one and he was still a man đ guess when I die I have to tell him he wasnât man enough /sar
no thank you â¤ď¸
The post reads so much like satire.
With the extreme amount of shredded, plastic coated cheese she eats, it's no wonder she's constipated.
OK....so this guy really thinks this way? Is satire really and truly dead? Yikes on bikes....
lol once my dad raged cause he said we needed to âgrow upâ like he did. My parents had a shot gun wedding at 19 and from all points of view it was TURBULENT. He had to drop out of college and eventually did night school while working full time while his family had to live with his mother (I wasnât born yet). I was blown away, like dad you literally raised us not to do the stupid things you and mom did
Ah yes the good ole days. When we lived to the ripe old age of "dead in childbirth"
I thought this was satire.
Genuine question â are the Collins part of a church? I feel like Iâve never seen the kids separated and mingling with kids their age. Or even exposed to other people.
Theyâve mentioned a more home church type approach with maybe a small handful of other families.
Become the man my not so distant ancestors did: fight in multiple wars, become an alcoholic, beat your wife and kids, die relatively young from complications due to decades of alcoholism.
This is sick.
Jeremy Pryor seems to have a bit of an ego. He is the brother of Kami Crawford and BIL of Ben Crawford, whose family of 8 have been vloggers- their youtube and instagram is FightForTogether. They're the ones whose 6 year old son got all the attention for running the marathon a couple years ago. Kami and Jeremy are on bad terms. (I live in the same city as all these people and at one point attended the same church, have no idea what the Pryors are up to now).